itsoKHAY to Trust Yourself Again

Trusting yourself again…

Yeah… this one right here?
 It’s not easy.

In this episode of itsoKHAY, I’m being real about what it feels like to try to trust yourself again after you’ve ignored your own voice, second guessed your feelings, and questioned your decisions.

This isn’t a “I got it all figured out” episode…

This is a “I’m still learning” episode.

Because the truth is…
 when you’ve spent so much time talking yourself out of what you felt, it’s hard to know what to trust anymore.

And if I’m being honest?

I stopped trusting me…
 and I’m learning how to find my way back.

This episode is for anybody who feels out of place, unsure, or disconnected from themselves right now.

You’re not off track.

You’re just learning yourself again…
 with everything you’ve been through.

🤍

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Y'all. Yeah. We're gonna talk today. Because I ain't even gonna lie. I've been struggling with this one. I've been trying to, you know, figure out how I can even trust myself again. Like, Chloe, how can you trust yourself after feeling like you've been feeling? And I really don't see how you can trust yourself after you didn't listen to yourself the first time. But before we go any further, welcome to It's Okay. I'm your girl K. And this right here, y'all know this is my space where we're gonna talk about the real stuff, the messy, the healing, and everything in between. So if this is your first time, or you've been rocking with your girl, I'm glad you're here. I am. But back to this reality right quick. And if I'm being real, like I said, I am not on the other side of this one right here. I'm still trying to figure it out. But I am learning. I'm learning how to trust myself again. And I think the hardest part for me right now is knowing. You know, knowing I felt things before, and I ignored them. So now it's like when I feel something, I gotta ask myself, can you trust that? Matter of fact, can you trust them? Then I had to say, girl, you probably in your head, here you go with all that overthinking again. And that right there, that's a hard place to be. And I really had to sit with this. And I had to be honest with myself. Because I stopped trusting me. But I'm finding my way on back to that. I'm still learning how to listen to my voice, hear myself. And if I'm gonna be real about it, I can't even sit here and act like I did any of this on my own. Because I didn't. It was him that kept me. Even when I wasn't listening to myself. True. When I was just sitting up there ignoring, whereas we say red flags, when a lot of times I felt like, I ain't gonna say out of alignment because that ain't what it was, but a lot of times when I felt like I was out of his will. And I wasn't, I wasn't as lost as I thought I was until I got back in his will. But I will say this, whatever you believe in, that's cool. I just want you to hear this. You didn't get this far by accident. It was it's something in you that's like it's trying to pull you back to yourself, and I can be honest and say there were moments where everything in me was like, this don't feel right. And instead of trusting it, I sit up there and talk myself right on out of it. I would try to make it make sense to me. And I'll just be sitting there, I'll tell myself, like, you just, you overthinking. So a lot of times I just stay. When I probably just, I know I should have just stepped back. And the thing is, I kept doing it over and over and over again. But the crazy part about all of that was I wasn't wrong. I knew it. I just I just didn't listen. And when you do that long enough, you will stop trusting yourself. You'll start second-guessing all your decision making moving forward. And now I'm in a space where I'm not the old me. But I'm not fully the new me either. I'm at the like I said, in between. And I can be honest and say, this space is uncomfortable a lot of times. And it's uncomfortable because you don't have all the clear answers yet. You don't feel, you know, you're not as confident as you should be in that decision making. But you do know you can't go back to who you used to be. But I can and I will say this. I'm paying a lot more attention to myself now. Like, if something don't sit right with me, please don't think I'm finna ignore it, because I'm not. And you better believe if it disturbed my peace, I noticed that too. And if I don't act on it immediately, I still don't pretend like it's not there. So, like I said, I might not have all the answer. But I'm not ignoring myself either now. And like I said, you can believe in what you believe in, and I can believe in what I believe in. But what I can say about us is if you at a place where you feel like you out of place right now, if things feel just a tad bit off, that don't mean you're off track now. No, that's not what that means. You're probably just at a place like I was where you're learning yourself again. But this time you're learning with everything that you've been through. So if you're in that place, if that's the space that you're in right now, where you feel like you gotta question yourself, you gotta question everything around you. You may even have to question the people around you. You just you trying to figure it out. And that's because you feel like you at a place where you don't fully trust your decisions yet. I need you to just hear me. Hear me when I say this now. You're not by yourself, you're not the only one. Like I told you. No, I don't even have it all figured out. But I am learning that I can trust myself again. And baby, I promise, it's okay to be right there in their process.