itsoKHAY to Start Over

Starting over sounds inspiring… until you actually gotta do it.

In this episode, Khay gets real about heartbreak, betrayal, public mistakes, emotional exhaustion, and what it means to rebuild your life after seasons that almost broke you.

This isn’t a conversation about pretending to be perfect. It’s about accountability, healing, motherhood, emotional growth, and learning how to move differently when life changes you.

From rebuilding confidence… to learning that every feeling doesn’t deserve a reaction… this episode is for anybody trying to find themselves again after disappointment, pain, or emotional burnout.

Because sometimes starting over isn’t failure…
 sometimes it’s the first sign that your life is finally changing.

✨ Real talk. Real growth. Real Khay.

#itsoKHAY #HealingOutLoud #GrowthSeason

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Starting over. Sounds so inspiring. Until you gotta do it. Until you actually gotta do it. You always hear people say it's okay to start over. A girl starting over was the best thing, and da da da da. They make it as easy as they can when they say it out loud. Like that's the most simplest thing you can do. But until you actually gotta do it, like until life itself force you. And when I say it force you, I'm talking about you gotta rebuild, you gotta relearn yourself. And for me, the hardest part is letting go of, you know, the version of life you thought you was gonna have. But before we go any further, y'all already know, I'm your girl Kay. And this is it's okay. You know, the space where we have real conversations about healing, growth, mistakes, starting over, and my favorite becoming in all of this. And if I'm being honest, I think one of the hardest parts about starting over, it gotta be, I'm gonna say it gotta be grieving the life that you had pictured in your head. You know, the plans, the comfort, just the version of you that, you know, thought things would go completely different. Because, you know, heartbreak, I'm talking about real heartbreak. It don't just, it don't just break your heart. It don't. It breaks your routine, your confidence, your trust, and it can affect, you know, your ability to feel safe. And if I can be honest, when me, when I talk about heartbreak, I'm not sitting here now. I gotta make that very clear. I'm not sitting here acting like I've always got it right either. I've made mistakes too now. I've had my own moments, my own foolishness, my own decisions that, you know, I've had to work from. Because hurt people, confuse people, emotionally drain people, sometimes, sometimes, you know, we make messy decisions too. And one thing life will do for sure is humble everybody eventually now. But what changed me was accountability, you know, having to really sit with myself and realize, okay, now Chloe, you can't keep blaming everybody else for everything. That, yeah, that changed me. And one thing I've learned about making mistakes publicly is people will forever try to reduce you to that moment. Like, well, you did this, you know, and you did this too, and you did that. And they say it like as if your past mistakes suddenly, you know, that disqualify you. And when I say disqualify you, they acting like because you made a mistake because of something in your past, that that exempts you from being hurt. It sometimes they'll even hold it to you as if you can't heal, or as if it'll stop you from growing. But mainly how some people act is they act like you're not human. And let me be real, the part that humbled me, I'm talking about that did it for me, was the feeling of dang. Now I gotta rebuild this part of my life too. And trust me now, like I said, I've had to sit with my own decisions too. The mistakes that I made. And a lot of moments that I'm not even proud of. But I do know two things can be true at once. That can be. And I take accountability for anything I've done and still acknowledge, you know, and when I that's what I mean when I say two things can exist at once. I'm saying I can take accountability for what I did, but I still can acknowledge the fact when something hurt me. And honestly, being emotionally drained, I mean, that's a different type of time. Because sleep don't fix it. You can be standing right here smiling, be all put together, show up, take care of your kids, to run a business, and sit up here, post all the inspiration you want online, and get what? Still be sitting there feeling completely exhausted on the inside, just tired. And I don't think I realized how emotionally drained I was until life finally just got quiet for me. And when everything got quiet, I realized I didn't have nothing left to pour. And I think that that's why starting over, it became necessary for me. It did. Because I couldn't keep surviving, not without healing. I just couldn't keep acting like I was strong and I had so much strength when on the inside I was really just falling apart. And I do know me becoming a mother, that changed me too. Because now, as bad as I want to, sometimes, I don't really have the luxury of just reacting emotionally to everything. I still got these little babies of mine that called me mommy. I still got a business to run. Baby, I still got responsibilities, goals, people that's attached to me, and then to be honest, attached to my healing. So I had to learn that every feeling, it just don't deserve a reaction. And honestly, there was a moment in my life that shifted my thinking completely. It did. And one day, I I'll tell y'all all about it. I'll tell you the full story about all of it. But what I will say is, in that moment, it forced me to just slow down. I had to stop and look at myself and realize I couldn't keep making permanent decisions based off a temporary emotion. And maybe, I don't know, that's what star novel really is. You know, not pretending that it ain't that I'm not pretending that the past didn't happen. No, that's not what I'm doing. But learning from it, you know, growing and just rebuilding wiser from my experience. So if life got you starting over right now, please don't look at that as if you failed. Sometimes starting over is like the first sign that you're finally changing, and maybe, just maybe not, hear me out. Starting over could be just another way of you becoming.