LIVED - Tara Steinwede: This Is My Story

In this episode, Tara shares a deeply personal reflection on her childhood and teenage years - growing up in an environment that wasn’t always easy, and the clarity she’s gained as an adult around what was missing.

She opens up about how those experiences shaped her, the work she’s done around emotional regulation, and the parts of herself she’s had to rebuild.

Now, as a parent, Tara speaks about becoming more aware of how she shows up, and the intention she’s bringing into her relationship with her daughter.

This episode is about growth, self-awareness, and choosing what you carry forward.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hello and welcome to our podcast Lived. I'm Mary Ann Sayers. And I'm Tara Steinweight. Last episode I spoke about my story and shared some pretty impactful moments along the way. Today, Tara is going to be sharing her story and some of her life journey that has brought her to where she is today. Looking forward to that. And also at the end, we're going to finish up with an update from Tara on her recent trip to the US, where she went to Coachella. Take me back, please. Looking forward to that. Okay, so let's go back to the beginning, Tara. We'll start at the beginning. Tell us a bit about your upbringing, your early childhood, what the family dynamic was, and step us through from there.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Sure. So I was born at Gosford Hospital, which is here on the Central Coast, Australia, and I have grown up here and been here my entire life. My parents were engaged but split up just before my first birthday. I have an older sister by three years, and until I was about five, it was just my mum, me, and my sister. And we did it quite tough, I would say. We were always physically taken care of: food on our plate, clothes on our back, and a roof over our heads. We actually didn't even have a car. So we used to catch the buses everywhere and walk everywhere, which is probably not the norm to many. And then my mum met her then husband, I think around five, and we moved in with him when I was about seven. My dad, on the other hand, as soon as mum and him had split, my step-mum became a part of our lives, and they were together until I was about ten. She was great. She actually did quite a lot for me and my sister. We did dancing. I have lots of memories of her taking us to the beach, uh flying kites, going kayaking, just lots of playful memories. And they actually split up when I was about 10. And when they split up, my sister and I no longer saw my dad, as we had been seeing him fortnightly up until that point. So that was quite a big moment in my life that I probably didn't realise how impactful that would have been to me. And so back to my mum, we moved in with her husband at the time. He had three children of his own. So I had two stepbrothers and a stepsister, and we had a blended family of seven. So we all lived together in the one house. And that was quite a chaotic time of my life. Chaotic, I'll say, because I don't really know the right word to sum it up. We did have good memories. We used to go up to Queensland quite a lot yearly for a family holiday, and we would do many things as a family together, but at home it was quite toxic. My mum and my stepdad both had different parenting styles. So, from my memory, there was quite a lot of conflict around that, and that also led to me feeling quite unsafe a lot of the time. It would be waking up to screaming, uh, glasses being thrown. Um, many times, actually, the police would come over, and there was just not a nice time from what I remember. There was quite a few more things around that time of my life, but I won't go deeper into that. On the other side, my mum and dad didn't have a very healthy co-parenting relationship. There's no one to blame in particular for that because I think they both played a role in that. However, there was a restraining order in place when I was quite young, I'm going to say about three or four. So it was never really off to a great start. So, on top of the home environment that I was in, there was lots of phone calls between my mum and my dad that didn't end well, and there would be, you know, hearing constant negative things about the other parent to me. And I think I was just told too much, exposed to too much, and just put in situations that I shouldn't have been in. I don't think either of them really thought about the effect that it could have on me, my sister. And I just hope if anyone's listening that is in a relationship with their ex and you have children together. I think that's a huge thing that you really need to consider because your kids need to see a healthy relationship, even if you aren't together anymore, because it definitely has a huge impact. Um, so moving on, then my mum and stepdad actually divorced at when I was 13, and we moved out. So I hadn't seen my dad since I was 10. So it was just again, me, my mum, and my sister. And after a couple of years, my sister actually got kicked out. So then it was just me and my mum. This was quite a lonely time in my life. I didn't have much support around school or just emotions, you know, going through puberty, and this was kind of where my endometriosis started. Um, so there was lots of times where I would be having an episode, and I wasn't really helped in where I needed to be. And I don't think people knew enough about endometriosis to take it seriously enough. And I think, yeah, I just I think looking back, I definitely struggled a lot in this area, and I wasn't showing up in the world the way I would have liked to. I was quite angry on the inside, which also then I I don't I don't think I was a very nice person when I was a teenager. I would go from zero to a hundred, or I just wouldn't say anything at all. And I think monkey see, monkey do, that's kind of what was shown to me with how you regulate, how you show your emotions, and it was just not a nice time. I didn't really have much of a relationship with my sister either at that stage because she was, you know, off doing her thing, and we didn't really have like a family dinners weekly, or everything just seemed like life kind of fell apart during that stage. I will say, however, I was extremely supported with my sports. I loved sports. I would do soccer, I said dancing before, touch football, Oztag at one stage, netball, and I was always heavily supported in those things, as well as even uh at school like cross-country, little athletics, I did outside of school, which I loved the athletics carnival. And at one stage, actually, I was even training, I think it was around like 10 to 13, uh, three to five times a week, because I wanted to go to the Olympics for 1500 metres. So that was something I really loved doing. But then friends, boys, life takes over in high school. Once I finished school, I didn't go too well in my HSE. I was way too focused on my relationship at the time, which didn't end very well. That was actually a really hard year upon reflection. I had been cheated on, and I then finished school, so life changed dramatically. I was then kicked out, I had lost my license, I had fines, a towing fine. The towing company were actually taking me to court, and I just felt extremely lost during that stage. It was a hard year, but I made it through. And then I actually got my first job, real job, full-time job in Sydney for an insurance broker company, which I only lasted there about eight months. That again didn't end very well. It was a bit of a situation with my boss at the time, and I won't go into details, but he was actually fired, and I just felt extremely uncomfortable staying there. So that on top of the commute wasn't working well for me. So I ended up leaving and I got a job at a construction company on the coast. I can't remember how long I was there for, but I was just in admin at the time, and then I kind of fell into a bit of an accounts role. So I did my cert for in accounting there. When I left there is where I found myself in the accounts team at McGrath. And this is where Matt comes into the story. I've always been a career girly, but I never knew what I wanted to pursue that in. And so when I started working at McGrath, I really loved the whole company and just what it was about, and I wanted to get into sales. That's where it's at in real estate. So I actually got myself a job in Matt's team, and I was his PA. So I did a lot of the back-end real estate. I wasn't really meeting with vendors or buyers, which is more how I prefer things because I don't think I'm a people person. But I was also doing a lot of personal things like picking up Logan from school and Phoenix and taking Logan to surfing and Phoenix to football training, helping Logan with his homework, and just a lot of personal things that built a bit of a connection to the family, and that definitely helped later on, as I'm now their stepmum and married to Matt. So I eventually left McGrath, but I stayed in real estate for a few years, and then I left real estate altogether, and I started my own business called Miss Organized Co. So I did admin bookkeeping for a few clients that I had. And Matt and I had kept in contact here and there. We had been involved, then we weren't involved. It was a very messy time, but it wasn't until my 26th birthday where I hadn't spoken to him for about a year. He had really pissed me off, to put it nicely. And I had him blocked on everything, and I would get constant emails of love letters. So it came to my 26th birthday, and I unblocked him and I sent him a text and I said, I'm ready to talk now. The rest is history from that point onwards. He actually proposed four weeks later, and I said yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Oh my goodness, what what a journey to that point. So tell me a bit about the engagement.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Well, I actually did have an inkling, being the sleuth that I am, and we were going up to Queensland for Logan's surfing comp. But Matt had asked if I wanted to go up a night early. So I thought, oh, that's when it's happening. But the day came around and he rang and said that Logan was just going to come up with us rather than a day later. So I thought, oh no, I've got it all wrong. Matt had been banging on about us getting up to go for a sunrise walk, which wasn't too out of the ordinary, but I could just tell he was a bit anxious around reminding me that we need to get up early. Anyway, we got up early, we went for the sunrise walk, and I thought when we were driving there, no, he's still definitely not doing it because he just seemed all too fine. We walked out to a beach called Bar Scrub, and as we're walking out, we were just chatting and he got a little bit anxious. And I thought, oh maybe. I turned around and he was on one knee. And I can't remember what he said, but I still remember the moment quite vividly. And of course I said yes. And we actually straight away started planning our wedding. We looked at two wedding venues on the way home from Queensland and locked in our date straight away.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Really? Yes. On the way home from that, from the engagement trip.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

I wanted to move fast. You weren't going to let this man go? No. So how long then? So how long was it before the wedding?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

It was almost a year to the date. So we got engaged on the 23rd of November 2020, and we were married the following year on the 22nd of November 2021.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Wow. And where was the wedding held?

SPEAKER_01 13:24

The wedding was at Byron Bay. It was a really beautiful venue, and it was just such a nice day, good vibes. I had the best time. It was so beautiful in the moments that it was really raw, and we both wrote our own vows. So I hadn't heard what Matt was going to say, and he hadn't heard what I was going to say, which I still have kept those vows actually. And we just had all the right people there. We had about 80 people, and it was just a beautiful day. Looking back at photos, I get such nice memories. I do, however, look at it and think, what was I thinking with a few things in terms of how I looked. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

I have seen the wedding photos. You were stunning.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

No, I think I just I look back and I almost don't recognise myself. I had much lighter hair, and I think I was really going for that beachy vibe because the wedding was on the beach. Whereas I have told Matt I would love to do a vow renewal at our 10 years and I would go more of an elegant look next time.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Yeah, yeah. And what role, if any, did Matt's children have in the wedding? Were they involved in the um wedding party at all, or it was just um did they have a role at the wedding?

SPEAKER_01 14:46

They weren't involved in the wedding party, but Paris, his daughter, she sings very beautifully. And so she actually asked if she could sing at the wedding, and we said yes, of course. And so our first dance was to Parising.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Oh, really? How beautiful. Yeah. What an incredible story. Just hearing that the journey to love often is tough, and there was a lot of um kind of um hurdles in the way, but the fact that the you two kept coming back together, you were saying that you kind of would, you know, you'd spend time apart, then you would always come back together, time apart, come back together. So there was something that drew you both back to each other, which I just think is the most incredible love story around that.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Oh, thank you. It was meant to be.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Absolutely. And what about um obviously coming into this partnership and marriage with Matt meant that you know, you were going to be a stepmother to his six children at that stage. Was that something how was that stepping into that space?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

I think, like I said earlier, being Matt's PA for a few years really helped with that because the older four kids already knew me as TARS. It wasn't, oh, you're meeting dad's girlfriend for the first time. So I'd already built a relationship with them, and the younger two, Flora and Bay, I met after we got engaged actually, and that was something I was extremely nervous about, but you know, I was just myself, and time helps, I guess. And it was never something that I hesitated when it came to him having children. That wasn't my hesitation at all. I always wanted and loved being part of a big family. My mum was actually one of is one of six, and my dad was one of five. So big family Christmases, big family Easter. I really loved being a part of that. So that was something that I saw coming into Matt's family that that was just what I wanted.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

So that importance of having family come together and that connectedness and family being there at the special occasions, because I've seen you guys do the Christmas dress-up things, I think, with the outfits.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Yes. Tell us about that. Every year I do the matching family Christmas outfits, and they all love it now. They used to say, Oh, do we really have to? And I'm like, Yes, you do, actually. And now they'll be like, What one are we getting this year? And they get excited about it.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Oh, wow, I love that. And what about like in terms of what sort of family environment are you wanting to create going forward? Given, I guess we all take our experiences from our childhood, and what you've really shared with us has been a very difficult story for you to talk about in terms of really that lack of emotional support that you had through those formative years. And I think when we're looking at life through the prism of being a child, when we come to adulthood, we can reflect back and look at things and see things for what they actually were. So, from your perspective, how will that impact the sort of environment that you're wanting to create with your family, with summer and any future children that you have?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yeah, absolutely. I agree with that. I think with Summer, I see the things upon reflection, what I was lacking when I was younger. And so that's something I really work on with having with her. I didn't really have an open relationship with my mum where I would feel comfortable discussing emotional things. It was just you hide your emotions, and that's how you get through life. You don't show them or you go from zero to a hundred, and I don't want to be that way. So I want Summer to always feel, and all of the kids to always feel really comfortable coming to me to discuss things, and I hope that I can be that safe place for them. Also, with home, I've moved, I did the math the other day collectively, including adult years, 26 times, which is a lot, a lot of them were throughout my childhood, and that really made me struggle, I guess, uh, with finding home and being able to create lots of memories and just feel familiar, I guess. So it's very important to me that Summer is raised in the one-family home, if not as minimal as possible. And I really hope that I can give her an amazing life. I think she absolutely does have an amazing life, and she has two very loving parents, and I think she feels extremely loved.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Absolutely. I mean, you're an incredible mum, you really are, and and an incredible step-mum as well. And just I just as I said, I just love I love hearing people's stories, particularly love stories, and yours, yours and Matt's is an incredible love story. So um the other question I wanted to ask is what are you doing currently to prioritize your own well-being? Because obviously the effects and impacts of you know what you went through through your childhood is not something that suddenly disappears once you reach the age that you are now. So, what are you doing to prioritize your own well-being at this point?

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Yeah, so I speak pretty, I speak pretty openly about it. I am in therapy and I have been seeing the same therapist for I think about six years now. Uh, I started seeing her sporadically, just about how I have no emotional regulation and just really understanding myself, which I have grown so much. Probably also why when I look back at my wedding photo, I don't recognise myself because I am a total different person than who I was that day. But also, although Matt and I have a beautiful life together, we've had our fair share of really challenging moments. Um, my dad actually had a heart attack and passed away the day before I had summer. So, although we were estranged and I did know that one day my dad would die, as all parents do, I didn't think it would affect me the way that it did. It just made it extremely hard with the timing to even process that because then again, at six weeks postpartum, we lost Matt's son Logan to suicide. So that also was a massive and still is a massive thing in our life to overcome again with the time. I was a new mum trying to navigate motherhood. My whole life had just changed. I had gone to my dad's funeral. I think I was three days out of hospital, and then Logan happened. And to be honest, I went into survival mode massively. I couldn't even do the first step of grief, which is acceptance. I almost blocked the whole thing out because I had to take care of my baby. That was my main priority. And on top of that, we about a year later lost our second pregnancy at 10 weeks. So that was another big thing that kind of smacked me in the face. And then for about a year now, I haven't had a relationship with my mum. I won't go into the details as to how that came about, but that probably threw me more than anything. So I've been in weekly therapy for that. That was a big thing. I think I've just got to a place where no matter who someone is to you, it's almost impossible to have a functioning relationship if there's no repair. And I've had to accept that if there's no accountability, no sorries, it just makes it really hard to come back from. And I think being a mum, you just look at life so differently. And I've gotten to a place in my life where I've had to cut off not just my relationship with her, but other people where it's just not healthy for me to have them around. So that's something that I work through a lot, and there were a lot of hurtful comments that were made during that time. And I am learning to live with that. That's my new reality. I actually said to Matt the other day, I was like, I feel like an orphan because I don't have um parents anymore. But you know, I have a beautiful life. I've got Matt, I've got an amazing group of friends, and I have my sister, and I have other family that may not necessarily be blood related, but I rely on them, and they make my world still go around. And therapy has just helped me massively at teaching me about self-love and helping me show up in this world exactly how I want to and be the person that I want to be.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that. That's that's a really, really raw um conversation. And I think also just listening to what you were just saying, then essentially at the end of the day, it's about setting boundaries around yourself and around your family and protecting that. Absolutely. Yeah. So going forward, we know that later in this year, because you've talked about it before, you're looking at um trying again with um uh going through IVF and having another child, hopefully.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Yes, hopefully. Our aim is sometime this year. So we'll just see uh if the stars alone and what comes from that.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Whatever will be, will be. Well, thank you so much for that, Tara. And uh do you mind if we change gears a bit now?

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Of course, let's move on. Coachella.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Oh, Coachella. Uh yeah, you recently went to Coachella, you've been back a few weeks now. Coachella is one of those, I mean, I've heard about it. Um, I was telling my daughter actually when you were going over there, she was like, oh my god, that's where I want to go. So tell us, just give us a brief review on Coachella. So you went over there, first time you've been there? Yes. And your main reason for going there was Justin Bieber. Yes. So tell us about so Coachella, big music festival, I think it's been going for like 30 years now. And where it is, so it's in California, is that right?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yes, it's in California and it's in the desert at Palm Springs. And I wasn't going for Coachella. I'm not a festival girly at all. Those days are very much over for me. But I'm a huge Justin Bieber fan, and I actually had meet and greets to his concert back in 2022, I thought it was. I think 2022, but he unfortunately cancelled, so I never got to meet him or go to the concert. So as soon as he announced, I thought I have to go. And I said to Matt, Do you mind if I go? And he was like, Yeah, of course. So me and my friend Kim bought our tickets, booked the trip, and after a couple of weeks, I thought, what the hell am I thinking? I'm leaving summer for 10 nights and going to a three-day festival. Like, that is not me anymore. But you know what? It was not even once in a lifetime experience because I hopefully will go back one day for the right artist. It was just a really incredible trip, not only just to see Justin Bieber, but just to feel like myself again almost after being in mum mode for two and a half years. I felt like Tara. I was dancing and seeing Justin Bieber finally, which was such a surreal moment. He was incredible. His performance was just amazing. It was so raw and vulnerable. I went weekend one, by the way, everyone, because his weekend two performance was much more out there and crowd interactive. But I just loved his performance and it was everything that I hoped for.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Was it? So it was because you go over there with expectations, so it met those expectations and more, would you say?

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Yes. I mean, my expectations were quite low. It was, I just want to see him with my own eyes. Which, for those of you that don't know, I'm five foot one. So that's a bit of a struggle. I got to the festival, I think I ended up standing there for about eight and a half hours total. In the one spot? In the one spot, so that I could get right up the front. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Literally didn't move. No. Did you not need to go to the toilet in that time?

SPEAKER_01 28:22

I didn't drink water specifically for that reason.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Wow. Well, I get I get it, because once you leave, that's it. You never get back to that spot. That's right. Wow. That is dedication to the cause. But as you said, it was pretty much the main reason for going over there initially.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

It was the whole reason, yeah. So I thought, I don't care about missing the other acts. That was the whole reason I was going. And I stood there, and I wasn't the only one. There were many people doing the same thing. I was actually one person back from the barricade. And what I didn't realise was I had a VRP ticket, but there was actually another ticket you could get called Talent. It was about 10,000 US. So very expensive. And that gave you your own kind of section in front of everyone else. So I wish I had that ticket because I would have camped out there all day.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

You'll have to get that one next time. I think what I understand, Coachella, is also this fusion of fashion and culture. So what did you like fashion-wise? Was it just like one big kind of um Instagram get-together? Like, what was it like over there? The fashion.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yeah, it was incredible. All of the girls and boys just looked so good. Everyone was right on trend. It's kind of western with a little bit of an edge to it. Everyone looked amazing. I was even getting inspo. If I ever go back again, I was like, oh, that girl looks incredible. I'm going to wear those pants next time. Everyone was just really nice. They're all taking pictures for the gram. I find Americans to be so much more nicer than Australians.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Really? Do you really?

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Yes. Just in general. But also at the festival, it was everyone, it was just good vibes all the way around.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

So if you wandered off somewhere to go somewhere and you just bumped into people, you just start chatting to them.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Yeah, a lot. A lot of people, if I were ordering food, they would turn around and say, Oh my god, are you from Australia? And I say yes. And they're like, Oh, I love Australians. Americans just love Australia.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Yeah, they do. They really, really do. What about age demographic-wise? Like you're in your 30s. Do you would you say you were in the sweet spot or was it more skewed to a younger? Like, where would where did where did the 30s fit?

SPEAKER_01 30:45

I would say probably right on point. It would range a big range. There were people maybe in even in their 50s and 60s there.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Not their 50s. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

I know, you oldies out there. No, it was every it was a very inclusive right. Like age, all ages. I would say definitely more young ones. When I say young, anywhere from 20 to 35. I don't know. You you weren't really taking too much notice of that. But there were older people there for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Yeah, right. And how did you go missing the family, missing summer, missing Matt? How did that go?

SPEAKER_01 31:21

I was actually fine, to be honest. To be really honest, the weeks leading up, I had so much anxiety to the point where I was throwing up. And that was just a big realization I'm leaving my daughter for 10 nights and I'm going to be 15 hours away on a flight if something were to go wrong. And I think just a lot of anxiety crept in. But once I actually left and I was receiving multiple photos daily, where Summer had a smile on her face, ear to ear, I felt completely fine. She would hang up on me on FaceTime. I would FaceTime her twice a day, and she'd be like, Hi mummy, yes, I'm going to go play now. Bye, and just hang up. She just didn't seem to care too much at all.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

They're just so in the moment, children, aren't they? They are. Like literally in the moment. She was off to play or go to the park or whatever she was doing, and that was all. That was, it's just in a in a way, when when you're doing something like that and going away from them for a period of time, you speak to them, you realise they're actually.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

It was really good. She had a very busy schedule. My sister took her to the zoo, she took her to the Easter show again, and she was at the play centre at the park. Matt took her up to this really cool park that we actually just went to on Sunday at Spears Point, and she just had a ball. So I don't think she had too much time to miss me. She didn't cry for me. Not once. Not even once. No, unless Matt's lying to me. She asked me twice and then that was it.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

Yeah, yeah. Well, that makes imagine if you'd been on the phone to her and she was balling, like he wouldn't have coped very well. So I think that all worked out well in the end. I agree. So you're glad you went, not necessarily one and done. You might go back at some stage in the future. Did you have any um time to look around or did you go anywhere else on the way back?

SPEAKER_01 33:07

No, we were on such a tight schedule. It was go, go, go, go. We arrived, got off the plane, got to the hotel, went to dinner, went to Disneyland the next day, then in the car to the desert, and we would have to get up. I actually had a makeup artist, thank God, that did our makeup every day because it took that pressure off of trying to get ready. And it's about an hour car trip from the hotels to the festival. We had a driver, it was just go, go, go, go. So, no, there was no downtime. I was going off maybe four or five hours sleep most nights, but we did have a very nice stopover at Carpo, Mexico, three nights before we came home. And that was amazing.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

What a lovely way just to chill and relax before you came back to your life here in Australia. Yes. Well, that sounds great. Well, that's uh amazing, actually. I've often wondered about Coachella. I've I've heard a lot about it, I've read a lot about it, but to actually I've never spoken to someone that's been there. So you weren't disappointed in any way.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

No, I even would recommend you going. Well, you'll have to take me next time. Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

And I'll hang out with the 50-year-olds and with the young crowd. All right, well, that um nearly brings us to the end of our episode, but we do have one final segment we need to do, which is what's on your mind, and this week it's your turn. It is my turn. So, what's been on my mind is how ChatGPT has quietly infiltrated everyone's lives, and everyone is using it and relying on it. Me included. I mean, I remember I was talking to someone the other day, and I remember I first started using it just to basically correct a few emails that I was sending. And now I'm going to it for everything, for a lot of things. And what I love about it is that it's so non-judgmental. You could put in the most ridiculous scenario or question, and it will come back with, you know, not making you feel like a fool. Like, but it's interesting when I speak to friends and family, everyone is using it. What are your thoughts on it?

SPEAKER_01 35:14

I'm not a fan. I have used it honestly only a handful of times, and I I would disagree, it is judgmental. I asked a few questions and it wrote back something about I'm not a therapist nor a psychic.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Oh, did it? So I've only ever had nice, kind that kind words and support, but not you. Mine's sassy.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

But no, I don't, I think there are great things about it. There's pros and cons to everything, but I think it's making us dumb.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

I it yes, I agree with that. And I think, and it's not something that's going to go away. This whole AI thing is is part of our lives now, and you wonder where it's going to stop, like where this is going to lead to. And I think it definitely takes away that problem-solving capabilities that we we all need to use to work out something or to figure something out. But speaking to some of my friends, they're using it for everything. Some of them are using it to, you know, construct a words in a card that they're giving to someone, or um, you know, how they should deal with a relationship breakup, or there's just like it just comes into play, and I'm I'm thinking, what does this mean for us going forward? Like I'm joking about it in the sense that wow, it's it's infiltrated our lives, and I, you know, I use it a lot, but I just don't know where all this is going to go in the future.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

I think it can be great. People are using it for their therapist or uh PA to do up training plans or a nutritionist or stretches, just many things that you would have to pay hundreds of dollars to go to a professional for. But like you said, where is it going to end? And I think it's so scary because people that are using it as a therapist, or even deeper than that, if there is such a thing, it's who's running this program? The the conspiracy theorist in me is like, whoa, that's just too scary because we are giving this app so much insight to what's going in all of our brains, our thoughts, how we're feeling, where we're at, just too much information. And where is it going back to? It has to be government controlled.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

You you think?

SPEAKER_01 37:32

I absolutely think.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

It's very true, actually. I was just as you were saying that, I was thinking, imagine all of the stuff uh that has been divulged into Chat GPT by everyone in the world. Like some, oh my gosh, actually, that's that's kind of scary when you think about it. Anyway, so that's what's been on my mind, and I'll continue to use it. But I'm also the other thing is the amount of jobs, as you said, it can it can basically design a fitness program for you, a nutrition plan. So it's also eliminating jobs.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

It's wiping the human race out.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Because the only what the only thing someone said the only thing it won't replace is trades, but pretty much every other job is under threat.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yes. So where will we be in 50 years?

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Where will we be in 50 years? Will I still be here? I don't think I will be. You could no, I'm pretty certain I won't what, 105? You reckon? Maybe, yeah. No, I'm pretty sure I won't be here, but anyway, I like your support on that. Thank you. Welcome. All right, well, that's um thank you again for sharing your story, Tara. That's okay. All right, and we will see you again next time on Lived. Bye for now. Bye.