LIVED - Unfiltered: First Date Fails

Ever walked away from a first date thinking, "Well, that's a story I'll be telling forever"?

In this episode, Maryanne and Tara read real first date fail stories submitted by listeners. From awkward encounters and unexpected red flags to laugh out loud disasters, we're sharing the dating moments that didn't exactly lead to a second date.

Whether you're currently dating, happily coupled up, or just here for the entertainment, you'll find plenty to relate to and laugh about in these unforgettable first date stories.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to our podcast Lived. I'm Mary Ann Sayers. And I'm Tara Steinwey. We are going to rip straight into today's episode, which is all about first date fails andor bad dates in general, would you say? Yes. Yeah. And actually, just before we do, I have a memory actually from back in my, I think I was probably in my, I don't know, early 20s. Not actually a dating story as such, but kind of, you'll get what I mean. I was out one night with a really good friend of mine at a nightclub, and a guy was chatting me up, right? Which is always nice. Can't blame him. Of course. And uh anyway, we'd had a few drinks or whatever, and we're chatting away. And my friend was with me, who I'm still really good friends with today, and we laugh about this. And she's like, Oh, you know, he seems really keen on you. And I was just like chatting away, I was so confident. And and then I we happened to sort of talk about each other's occupations, and I was just like, Oh, so what do you do? And he said, I'm a juggler. And I said, Right, a juggler. And he said, Yeah, yeah, I juggle. That's what I do, and that was it. Like in the circuit? I don't know, but honestly, I just I I went back to my friend and I said, He's a juggler. And she's like, What? And she thought it was a joke. I said, No, and for some reason, all interest drained out of me at that point. It's a very rare occupation. Not that I'm having a go at jugglers, however, I wasn't expecting he's a juggler. So that was that sort of stayed with me. We have a joke about that. So I don't ever know what would have happened to that young man, but he's a juggler, and I don't know, it was just not what I was expecting. So sort of the conversation sort of finished pretty abruptly at that point. So it wasn't even a first date fail because we weren't literally over this now. First conversation. First conversation fail. All right, do you want to get started? I will. So this is someone that wrote in. As we said, we'll keep it anonymous. She said let's let's name them. No, I'm spoken. She I don't think she'd mind, but she said Tinder or Hinge, she can't remember, which is a dating app or website. She said, Got chatting as you do, it turned sexual very quickly. As it does, and he started almost narrating everything he would do to me from the start to finish. It felt very scripted. Ended up organizing to meet up, and he was on his way over, and I get a text saying, I have something to tell you. I am deaf and I have to use an app to communicate if that's okay. He was already over, so I couldn't exactly back out. I went through with it, and look, it was a very strange situation, one that she hasn't been in before. But it wasn't all that bad. They went to McDonald's for dinner, which he also had to use his app to order what he would like. They watched movies with subtitles, and then later in the evening, he asked if he could give her a massage. Oh. This was part of the script he had communicated with me in our previous conversation. And then I quickly realized why he had told me everything so detailed. Yeah. Step by step of how it would all happen, because he did it exactly like he had told me, so I knew what was to come next. He also used his communication app to tell me if I moan loud enough, he would feel the vibrations, which is his way of knowing I'm enjoying it. He left and she never saw him again. Oh, I was gonna, I was wondering where that was gonna go. So what a okay, that's that's a situation that is not one to be experienced every day. No, well, you know what? I think it's great that he kind of already prompted her in his sexual stories, yes, in exactly what he was going to do, because in some sort of way it's his way of gaining permission. Yeah, no, a hundred percent. And I the fact that she went ahead even when she found out, she said, okay, well, going going ahead with the the the kind of the um the meetup and whatnot. Yeah, because it may not have been something that bothered her or was an issue for her prior, but he kind of sprung it on her when you say a broken. Well, there there is that. There is that. Oh, that's a different story altogether. I've never found myself in that type of situation, but she handled it very well, I'm okay. To be sprung on the spot. I spoke to my daughter, who's 22, and she had a few uh stories to pass on, mostly from other her she's with her partner, she's been with him since she was 15. So there you go. That's a lovely first date story in itself. So it was a couple. This is just two one-liners. One of her friends said, I got stood up so he could go and catch lobsters with his friend. That's not all that bad. Not too bad. I went on a first date. This is another uh friend, and he was on drugs and couldn't eat anything. Ew. That's so gross. That's gross. This one. I live in New South Wales. I went up to Queensland to catch up with some friends. I also organized to go on a date with a guy that I knew was from there. A few months beforehand, my boyfriend and I break broke up, so I thought it was a great time to get back into the dating scene. I got to this restaurant with this guy I was meeting in Queensland. Keep in mind, and lo and behold, my ex-boyfriend's best friend was there. And during the date, he started FaceTiming to my ex-boyfriend to show him that I was there and who I was on a date with. Well, look, the spiteful little bitch in myself, it depends how the breakup ended. It does. If it was mutual and it was a nice ending, well, yeah, that's a bit annoying. But if he did something wrong or it was a bit bitter, that's great. Rub it in his face. Do you reckon? I'm sure she'd been looking amazing. She probably was, yeah. I thought that actually. But how about that? Face timing, getting FaceTimed back to your ex. Yeah. So that's what this day and age is. We've got all this technology now that you know. Well, at least she knew that he still cared. Yes. Because it's not really a boys thing to do. No, I know. That's why I thought I found it interesting. Actually, that would be a female thing to do for sure. Oh, I love that. Okay, I have a few more. None of these are mine, by the way. I'm wondering, are they not? No. Okay, someone said mine was when I went on a date and then he ghosted me. A few days later, I got a message from his girlfriend at the time with a photo that someone she knew of him and I out at dinner. I told her that I just kissed him. We didn't sleep together and was completely unaware. He was a total psychopath. She was super nice about it. Oh, what a dick. What a dick. What a dick. Another one was I went out with a guy that spoke about his mum the whole time. Like was literally obsessed with her. I was finished when he said he still does his, she still does his washing. He was in his 30s. Oh, okay. Didn't you say something about you did? Yes. I think so. Or maybe it was just in conversation about icks with guys. Yes. Men in case. Because I think I don't know whether that was on our episode, but you and I have definitely had a conversation about that. That very thing. I can't stand it. Men that talk about their mothers constantly. Well, look, I think it's great if a man has a good relationship with his mum, but you can kind of tell when it's a bit icky, like it's crossing that boundary. Or when the mum's super obsessed with the son, I have had an ex-boyfriend where they were just obsessed with one another where I wasn't acting, he was, I think, 26 at the time, and I would have been really early 20s, if even 20. Actually, no, I think I was only maybe 18 or 19. And I wasn't allowed over on Friday nights because it was mummy and movie time. So you're like the third wheel. Well, I just wasn't allowed over because it was their time to get it. Yeah, that is unusual. That's gross. No, I hope I'm no. But sorry, I will add to that. One time I did come over and she would have she would be sitting on the lounge with a cushion on her lap, and he would be laying across the lounge with his head on the cushion. I swear to God. No, I swear to God. You know what? If I got him on here, he'd probably admit it because he never saw anything wrong with how weird it was. Did you bring it up with him? I brought it up all the time. Why did I think you wouldn't bring it up with him? Of course I brought it up. It was very strange. Yeah, I'm just, no, okay. All right, each to their own, I I guess. No, it's weird. Um went to a comedy show with a girl. So this one's about a girl, not not a guy, for once. And she was one of those, what'd she write? She was one of those people that heckle comedians, like full yelling out insults at every comedian that came on stage. I was so embarrassed. Oh, that's yeah, I would be too. Yeah, it is embarrassing. I wouldn't like that at all. No, I wouldn't have spoken to her again. Do you have more, Marianne? I do. Do you want to eat this one? I I think you'll love this one. I need my glasses, actually. I've got to read this one. Really showing your age here. Oh, okay. Hey, it's we're all on the same path. I went on a first date that was perfectly fine until the bill came. I offered to split it and he said, amazing, thank you. Completely fair, right? Okay. But then he opened the calculator app and started itemizing everything. No. Like down to sources. At one point, he said, You had more fries than me. Then he tried to divide the shared nachos proportionally based on who reached over more often. This is not this is not act, this is not a joke. The difference ended up being $3.40. There we go. It's all about equality, right? Like let's uh honestly. No, I can't. Look, I'm half half on the man paying for dinner. It depends on what day, honestly, you ask me. I Matt has paid for every single dinner always. I think actually initially I would try and go half-half because that's what I was used to in my previous relationship. Yeah. And Matt would not have it. He says the way a man spends his money or the way he is with money shows a lot about his character. Yes. And I think there's a bit of depth to that. Um, but if you're not interested in this first date that you're you're never going to see them again, maybe it is a little bit polite to go halves with them. But also on the flip side But that itemized. Not that. That that's ridiculous. That's a bit. I mean, I I honestly I thought that was a joke, but I'm all because what you were saying about what Matt said, I think having the um the male pay is such an old-fashioned value as well. Yeah. And there's a lot to be said about old-fashioned values, I do have to say. I know I'm showing my age, but I think there is a lot to be said in general for old-fashioned values. However, obviously in this day and age, you know, um women, you know, men and women want to be seen kind of, you know, on an equal footing. And I think it's fine. I think that can be just a really easy conversation. Um, you know, whether the the the male says, I'll pay for this or whatever, or do you mind if we go halves? Sure, no problem. Like if if that was said to me on a first date, I'd have no problems with that. That though, is that's just free that's what that's just not on. No, that's not on. Like that's scabby. $3.40. Yeah, it's just scabby. It shows our just if you're going to split the bill, you just split it straight straight down the middle. 100%. And you don't need to even, I wouldn't even be like working out, oh well, you had two glasses of wine, I had one. Or I just slid it straight down the middle. Even with girlfriends, I just split it straight down the middle. Same. Anyway, yeah, eek. Yep. Not that we're on our ick episode, but we could take this back to car two for our iks. This is another one. I went on a date with a guy and he took me to a kebab snack pack and told me he loves them, but he always needs to. Can I swear? Well, I kind of said bitch before. Well, you can. He always needs to. Well, this is how they wrote shit after it. Well, who said that? He gets to go do a poo after. He said that? Yeah, that's just gross. Because when when I read it and I said kebab snack pack, I'm like, that's not too bad if you're having a really low-key kind of date where you're just going, maybe going for a walk along the boardwalk or beach and you're just getting an easy dinner or a snack pack. I wouldn't mind that. I think City City is but to throw in that, yeah, that's great. That in it's actually that is that is my probably just become my number one ick about to like even like you know, like I this is my feeling. Toileting and discussions around that and even going to the toilet, that's just private things, private stuff. Definitely private. That's anyway, anyway. This is the last one that I have. Right. She said, I went on a date with this guy who told me he had a girlfriend the next day. So I tweed with him two weeks later, saying my period was late. He was freaking. I do like that. That's a great one. I do like that one. How about that though? Like telling her the next day. I doubt it would have taught him. No. Um, I've got a couple of others here, which I think are pretty, pretty, uh, pretty good to talk about. I actually have one of my own that I'll share at the end. Oh, see, I don't have to. I've just remembered. Only my juggler story. Um, this one. A guy suggested an escape room for a first date, which I thought was actually kind of creative. You know those escape rooms you go and you've got to plot your way out of them, and it's like a fun thing to do. Do you know about it? I don't find that fun at all. I get so claustrophobic. Well, you'd be hopeless. Within 10 minutes, he got super competitive and started accusing me of not contributing enough. At one point, I solved one of the clues and he literally snatched it out of my hand and said, No, that's not how your brain should approach it. We ended up failing the room with 12 minutes left. And when the staff member came in, oh this well, anyway, he blamed me and said she panicked under pressure. Then on the walk back to the station, he asked if I wanted to do another one next weekend because now we understand each other's weaknesses. Imagine living with that. No, needless to say. Needless to say, that was there was no further dates. So controlling. Yeah. Next one, the cinema, I'll call this a cinema disaster. I went on a first date to the movies with this guy, and about 20 minutes in, he fell asleep. Not just sleepy, fully asleep, snoring and everything. People around us kept turning around and glaring at me like I'd brought him, like I'd brought him there drugged. I kept nudging him awake, and every time he'd whisper, I'm awake, I'm awake. Then immediately he would drift back off. After the movie, he stretched and said, That was great. I said, You slept through almost all of it. And he said, dead serious. Yeah, but I could feel the vibe. That's what a chucker. I don't know. I mean, are you good? Would you have a laugh about it? Maybe is that one to have a laugh at? And if I'm probably a bipolar, it depends on my mood. I might laugh it off and think, you look, maybe he's had a really big day and he still really wanted to go on this date with me and show up, but he's exhausted. Yeah. Maybe it would depend how he was after. Yeah, it might be something. That almost sounds like one of those stories that you would say when you've been, you know, together for you know 20 years and you talk back about the first date you went on. It's kind of like part of that life. It's a little bit funny. Look, it is a little bit rude, but I don't know. I'm half half on that one. Half half, depending on what day of the week it was. Yes. All right, and this is my last one. This came in. Hang on, one sec. We'll just put the glasses on. Back on, I can't help it. Uh whoops. I matched with a guy and we agreed to meet for drinks on a Friday night. Okay. I turned up and he was sitting there with balloons on the table. I thought maybe the venue had reused decorations or something, but no, he genuinely organized a mini birthday setup for me. The only problem was it wasn't my birthday. He'd mixed me up with another girl he'd been talking to. When I pointed it out, he stared at me for a solid 10 seconds and just quietly said, that makes more sense. Then he still tried to continue the date while the waiter brought out a sparkler dessert with someone else's name written on it. Oh God, you would just you just have to get up and say, you just leave. What about that? But it's kind of funny. But the poor guy, in a way. I feel sorry, yeah. I'm glad you said that because I'm thinking, am I just because he's gone to effort, obviously not. Having low standards here, because I'm thinking when I've been on the dating scene, yeah, sure, you've had multiple people going at once. Yeah, that's what I meant. I feel like he's gone to a lot of effort for the wrong for the other woman. But mix them up. Yeah, that can happen. I actually that's like it is a bad date story for the for her for sure. But it is funny, but it is funny, and I hope she laughs about it. But for him, I feel like, well, it wasn't like, you know, it it was still coming from a good place. For sure, but then the part if it had been her actual birthday, and that's what he was doing for her actual birthday, I would be a little bit taken back. Yes. Because of how much effort he's putting in for a first date. Yeah, you almost feel like that's too much. It's a bit too much. Why are you trying so hard? Yeah. Isn't it interesting though? Like, is that is there a line between really trying your best to try and repress someone and then not putting in effort? Do you know what I mean? Like there's a line somewhere halfway. 100% there's a line. Halfway. Yeah. Anyway, all right. So you said you had a a a story to tell. I have one and it's pretty embarrassing. Oh, you can Well, it's not that it's it is kind of. I don't know. I was chatting to this guy, I still remember his name to this day, and I won't name in shame. Let's call him John. No, because Matt and I joke around and we go, okay, John, all the time. Has to be so we'll just call him his actual name. I won't give last names. His name was Simon. Okay, that's that's pretty and he was a very good chatter, you know, conversational. And it wasn't a sexual conversation because I don't like that. And I think I would have been, I'm going to say maybe early 20s. And he had sold me this whole story that he owned his whole like his own house and he lived alone, and he wants to invite me over and cook me dinner. And I thought, oh well, you know, a young girl at our thought, oh, it's a man who's got his crap together, and he even wants to take the initiative to make me dinner at his house. I thought that's really nice. And I had actually done a PT, I think two days before, and completely wrecked my shoulders to the point I thought I had to go to hospital because I couldn't move them. And I had let him know that maybe we need to postpone the date to the following weekend. And he was, I should have known then. He he kept persisting and making me feel really bad that he had organized and already gone and got all the groceries and whatnot. So I said, okay, he's like no pressure, but I, you know, making me feel guilty. So I went there. It was this tiny little, he said, this huge house, the story he had sold me was completely wrong. And I wouldn't have judged if he had just been honest. This is the whole thing is that he's a liar. And he lived in this tiny little two-bedroom unit with his mum that they had converted half the lounge room into a second bedroom. And when I went over there, he straight away just tried to get me into his bedroom. And I was like, no, no, like, are we having dinner? I thought, okay, I can see past you know him living with his mum. Maybe he was just embarrassed, I don't know why. It didn't bother me. And then he was like, Oh, if you're hungry, uh, I've got um frozen spaghetti in the fridge. Oh no, in the freezer, sorry. And he pulled out one of those $2 Chinese containers with frozen spaghetti in it. Again, it's the lying and how much he had guilt-tripped me that he had already gone and got the groceries and wanted to cook me. He had kind of given me a menu of what he was going to cook me as well. And then after I gave him nothing, I said, Oh no, thank you. It's fine. Actually, I'll eat when I get home. After he gave me, I gave him, sorry, absolutely nothing, he said to me, he rolled over, you Really angry because we were watching a movie in his bedroom because you can't couldn't really watch it in his lounge room. Yeah, and he said, Oh, my mates have just messaged me, they're out the front. I'm gonna go to the Beerie. Oh, really? And that was that. I I was I don't know why I hadn't left earlier, but I thought that is a bad yeah, a really bad day. It actually crushed me a little bit in my self-confidence because I thought, oh my god, someone would treat me that way. Yeah, I know, and what as you were saying, you weren't gonna judge the fact that he okay, maybe if he's you know embellished the story a bit, he lives in a unit, you're not judging that. You jud you what you're judging is his complete lack of honesty. And just that's actually a bit quite cringe. It is really cringe, and I still I want to even name and shape with his last name. His name was Simon, and I think I had of just known from his profile pictures. I think that was any further dates I ever went on, I would judge hard from people's profile pictures because his profile picture was him without a shirt on, and he used to do I can't I can't say too much because I don't want to give it away because he does live locally, but he uh used to do some form of modelling, but a huge like wanker scene of modelling, right? That's all I'll say. Do you know what would be really interesting? Not that this will happen, but I often think when something really, you know, terror, not terrible but cringe worthy, or something happens, and then obviously you you go on with your life, he's gone on with his life. Whether if you had a conversation with that person again down the track about that situation, firstly, would they remember it? And secondly, what would his take on it? Would he be like really embarrassed and go, I can't believe I did that. Do you know what I mean? Like no, I don't think so. Oh such a tool. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, because I think there would be certain things that we've all done, you know, back in the day that we reflect back on. Maybe, but I don't think he know. I think he just you know, he can kind of sum someone up. I can come quite a bit that it's something grew up. I he was an only child. Obviously, mummy's a little boy a little bit as well. And I think he would tack tack. I can't talk today. He would lack total awareness, yeah, or to be able to self-reflect at all. Okay, and he didn't respect women at all. Yeah, that's a big thing. That's huge, absolutely. Oh well, you live to tell the tale. All right. I feel sorry for the girl that ended up with him. Did he end up with someone? I'm not sure I deleted him straight away. Do you know he lives on I can't I can't give too much away. He lives somewhere where I can drive past and see easily, and I often see the bedroom windows, and I'm like, I see it. There you go. But I have no idea if he lives there anymore. Right. Okay, that's it. That's it. Well, I think we've come to the end. We have indeed. That was fun. This week's your turn for our last segment. Mary Ann, what's on your mind? Okay, I'm gonna start just with a quick little story. I go to the gym fairly regularly, and there's an older gentleman there that goes to the gym. I see him a lot or I've seen him a lot. He's probably in his late 70s, and it became apparent to me fairly quickly that he uh suffers from dementia. So he goes to the gym. Anyway, he was in our gym class, he was very disoriented, he wasn't, you know, he was kind of not too sure what to do, and I kind of just recognized it. I think I just have a natural recognition of that. So I started to help him. And so after a few weeks, every time I would go, he would be looking for me and he remembered my name and he'd say, Hi Marianne, how are you? I'd be like, so it would mean that I would kind of miss out on my uh workout, but I didn't really mind because I was helping him, you know, do this and you know, follow me, lift the weights up, do this, you know, this is how you use the rower, all that sort of stuff. Anyway, so this was going on for quite some time, and the teacher would, the um, the group instructor would come over and say, Oh, I won't say his name, but let's just call him John. She would say, John's um gets dropped off here by his wife, and he just likes to do this, and it's really lovely that you're helping him. And one day I got talking to John and found out he was he had this incredible story about his life, and he used to be the managing director of a multinational company back in the day. So he was talking about back in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and he remembered so many parts of his life story and his career, and he was talking about places that he traveled to. I was chatting to him for maybe half an hour after a class one day, and it was amazing how he could remember all of these things. And I was thinking to so many people, he's just the old guy that comes to the gym, but he had this incredible story, and he'd been to these incredible places, and he was talking about, you know, um, certain situations that happened or experiences that he had in these other countries, and it got me thinking, I because I love, when I say I love old people, I love the elderly, I love talking to them, and I feel like there are so many amazing stories with our elderly people in our community. So even if it's your own grandparents or your auntie or your uncle or the person who lives next door to you, like the older generation have such incredible stories. And I guess a lot of the time, because we are such a um, you know, we all just live such busy lives. And I wonder whether we not have lost the ability to talk to our older people, but just lost the interest to even engage with them and talk to them because there's just some of these people lived before, you know, when you think about them, some of them lived through like World War, you know, back in the 1940s. Like I feel like there's an entire archive of storytelling that, you know, I I really love to engage with older people and talk to them and find out about their life because I just love learning about, you know, their stories. And I guess also they were around, obviously, they were living before social media, the internet, modern medicine. I don't know. I just feel like there's so much to learn from the elderly in our community. And one of the things that I'm quite keen to do, and I hope I do do it one day, because they're always looking for volunteers to go to like nursing homes just to spend time an hour or two with the residents there who may not, whose partner, um, husband or wife may have passed away and they're just you know, they're there, they're not getting visited by anyone. So I I know that they're always looking for volunteers to do that. So it got me thinking that that's something that I might want to do one day because I'd really love to just give back to these beautiful people that you know that have just lived an incredible life. I agree. I actually did my cert three as part of my HSE in year 11 and 12, and I is cert three in nursing, and so for my PRAC, I had to do um a private hospital and then a nursing home, and I would spend most of the day sitting at the edge of the bed listening to all of their stories, and I still remember it to this day, it was what 14-15 years ago, and they do, they make such an impact on you. I have always been a big softie for the elderly for sure, but I will say, and I don't want to group them all together, especially since becoming a mum, the amount of judgment from the elderly is just painfully obviously obvious, yeah, and I just think it's so unnecessary, and they yes, you have been around for much longer than me, but I do find, and again, I'm not going to group them all, a lot of them obviously enjoyed their upbringing and how things were back in their day, that they've they find it quite hard to adapt to this day and age, and so therefore they're so judgy on, for example, my generation when we're just doing our best, and that's what we've grown up with, so that's what we're doing because that's what we've been told works, and I just don't like that part of it. Because I you're right, they're very set, you know, they're very set in their ways. Because I guess back in the day things were very structured, very militant. They sort of did things a certain way, and I think you're right that a lot of a lot of the older generation, you know, because when you think about it, they've been through, they've lived a life that is that has kind of crossed over different kind of stages along the way of our sort of modern history, if you like. So they kind of, when they were born, there was like literally it was just there was no, as I said, no social media, no internet, none of that sort of stuff. And now they're kind of they're still living, obviously, but there's so much that's happened, like so much around, you know, the world has changed so lot so much. And I think you're right in saying that their adaptation is not really great. Yeah, they get a bit bitter. Yes, yeah. But it's not to say all. Yeah, no. That's still lovely. Yeah, I think I've other people that I've crossed paths with that I'm saying specifically parenting and or just even in this. I remember one time Summer was oh, I'm gonna say maybe seven months old, and she was in the pram, and I had just been shopping for Jackson's birthday, and the whole bottom of the pram was filled with bags from industry or platypal shoes, and I was sitting there and I was holding one hand holding Summer's bottle in her mouth, and my other hand, I was actually paying bills on my phone. And a lot of people just think, oh, that I'll tell you what they said. But a lot of people think, oh, when mums are just always on their phone, they're just scrolling on social media. I manage all of our finances, so I'm constantly paying bills from our phone or transferring money onto this card or making some or a doctor appointment or making myself a doctor appointment. Like you're doing everything from your phone this day and age. So you're not just being a mum sitting there on your phone scrolling through social media. But this elderly couple was sitting across from me, and I could so tell that this was their 10:30 a.m. daily outing, that they would just sit and judge and glare at everyone. And the old lady kept whispering into her husband's ear, loud enough, he was obviously deaf, and so was she, that she goes, Oh, she shouldn't be doing all that shopping this day and age. Oh, and then another one she goes, that baby should be able to hold her own bottle. Right, yeah. And then and then another, look at her just sitting there on the phone. The three comments one after the other. And I was so mad that when I was went to go away, I almost wanted to put Summerov to the side in a parameter because I didn't want her to be around while I went back and said, excuse me, and addressed it. So you didn't? I didn't, I didn't because I remember sending Matt a voice message after because of how angry I was because it really bothered me. I probably would have made such a scene and got kicked out. Like I wasn't kicked out of Erin Affair because I was so mad. So I just thought, and now it's not the time because I'm too angry. Yeah, and I think and and like what would that have achieved any anyway, and really nothing. It probably would have made you ruminate in it for even longer. I know it is tough, it is tough, and I know what you mean that there is a lot of judgment and very set in their ways, and um, it is hard not to make comments in those situations. I remember it back in the day myself with kids when that with my kids when they were younger. There would always be something that there's everyone judges, that's the thing. Everyone judges. So judgy. So, but anyway, that was my what's on my mind. I've been thinking about that a lot, particularly my you know, my mum's now. Um, my mum is 88 now. And you know, she's still going well, but just chatting to her and chatting to my aunties, and I just I do love engaging with older people and hearing about life back in the day because that kind of fascinates me in a way. For sure. Yeah, they've got so many stories and it's interesting. And I think, like you said, people, if they can or they should take more time to hear them because we do just view them as oh, they're elderly or they might be deaf or they might have dementia or whatnot, but their brains are quite even with people that have Alzheimer's and dementia, they can remember specific parts, like a specific um era really clearly. Yes, it was like this guy, John at the gym, he remembers everything, would struggle with I I'm almost I'm also really touched that he remembers my name. Um because I was sort of helping him a lot. But um, yeah, and I I was just sort of blown away. I walked away from there thinking, my God, he's had an entire life, and he had such he was really high level and such uh responsibility in a really big organization. He was managing like I think he was saying 120 people, you know, under him, and he was traveling anyway. Yeah, so there you go. That's it for me, and that's it for you. We'll see you next time on Lived. Bye bye now.