We Might Get In Trouble For This
Kerri, a Gen X comedian and author, and Suze, an elder Millennial mama who’s totally outnumbered, are two old friends diving into life from opposite sides of the spectrum. From pop culture and love to divorce, faith, and everything in between, they’re a little unhinged, a little risky, and guaranteed to get in trouble along the way.
We Might Get In Trouble For This
Episode 7: Is Kerri a Buzz Kill?
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KERRI and Suze talk about friendship rejection, social media triggers, emotional closure, and how childhood experiences shape adult relationships. From feeling left out of parties to learning how to move forward with maturity, they unpack rejection with humor, honesty, and faith.
Plus: Suze apologizes, resistance leggings, and colonoscopy prep somehow enter the chat.
Timestamps
00:00 – Fan mail + life updates
02:00 – Feeling excluded from a party
05:00 – Childhood rejection memories
08:00 – Family dynamics & emotional wiring
11:00 – Perfection, friendships & expectations
14:00 – Seeking closure
17:00 – “It’s not always about you”
19:00 – Choosing your inner circle
21:00 – Controlling your response to rejection
24:00 – Suze Apologizes
26:00 – Resistance leggings review
28:00 – Colonoscopy humor & outro
📧 wemightgetintroubleforthis@gmail.com
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music & more.
Episode of We Might Get in Trouble for This with your host Carrie and Suze. Hello. So we got Suzy our first fan mail this week, and I was so excited that our divorce episode was actually uh meaningful to some people. So I am going to stay divorced for the sake of the podcast.
SPEAKER_01I am going to stay divorced. No one's gonna make me get married. Staying divorced.
SPEAKER_00Uh, but yes, this has been really fun. And so I want to say that I love hearing from you guys, and we really appreciate uh, you know, all the support. And how has your week been, my darling?
SPEAKER_01It's been fine, it's been a week.
SPEAKER_00It's been a week.
SPEAKER_01It's been a week. I can't even believe it's we tape on Wednesday, people. I can't even believe it's Wednesday. Can't even believe it.
SPEAKER_00Uh, well, next week is a really big week for me because I get to see you, and I'll tell the fans ahead of time that I have finagled through my uh Hollywood six degrees a color consultation with the woman you know who did the brunette to blonde transformation on the Love Story FX series. And remember, I told you what she costs, and you said Lucy can just pay for her own college and get loans. Yeah, and there are loans. That's what they'll do. Next week my life is changing dramatically, uh uh because of my hair. We'll see. Uh, so that's my that's my report. And I'll get to see you in person next week, and your kids are alive. Um so you know, why don't I just jump into it? Because, like what we're talking about this week. Oh, there's your dog. There's my dog. Our listeners can't see your dog, but Susie has a dog, and I do not. He's a donor doodle. So I love doing this podcast because this is so raw and real. So the stuff I call you about on the phone literally is like, oh, here's our next episode. And I kind of want to call this, it's not my party, and I'll cry if I want to, but uh the general topic is rejection. The general topic is friendships and rejection. And I have a teenage daughter who deals with it on a constant basis, both both daughters. And then I as an adult think sometimes that I'm immune to dealing with it. And I had an instance this weekend that brought me right back to fifth grade where there was an event. Um, and back in our day, if you didn't get invited to the the uh princess birthday party, you didn't know because the princess birthday party invit invitations got they got handed out in in your first grade class and sure you didn't know. But now I found out about uh this event, we'll call it um going away party, uh on the Facebook, on the Facebook, and which is why I'm not on the Facebook.
SPEAKER_01I am anti-social media.
SPEAKER_00If you're going to have a party and not invite everyone who really thinks they should be invited because you're moving away, why are you gonna put it on the Facebook? Because the dim wits that post all the pictures and tag everybody have to know that you're going to tell the world. So, and I had a very dramatic reaction of sadness. It wasn't like I cried, it wasn't like I was angry. I something hit me in my heart. And uh, we both know this feeling, and I called you to talk about it. And I think it's just as real for me as it was in kindergarten when Katie Luters did not invite me to her birthday party because she ran out of invitations and she was handing them out in kindergarten. And Katie Luters was like, Well, I want you to come, but I'm out of paper. And like it, that was that was why I didn't get to go. And so this one was like, Did you run out of Evite ink? Like, what happened? And then just to give you the final tally on this whole situation, I had called you and we'll go through it, and I called one other friend. So I'm not trying to, you know, gossip. I was just saying, like, you know, Al is moving to Hawaii and I didn't get to go wish him goodbye. Um, super bummed. And it the question was, do I confront or do I not? Now, before I asked you, I confronted because I thought it was an evite error that totally happens. So I was like, hey, bro, sorry I missed your party. Um, I hope it was great, you know, found out from some of our other friends, and then I just uh, you know, at the point I'm starting with when I talked to you originally, I hadn't heard anything in a couple of days.
SPEAKER_01And you were you told me I was bold for being so I mean and I'm just very much a call person too. I think it's I think if people just have different approaches, like um so so explain more, unpack more, unpack more for us, Carrie.
SPEAKER_00So I said, hey, Al, uh, hope your going-away party was fantastic. I'm sorry I didn't make it, and it really hurt me to think I wasn't included.
SPEAKER_01Not that unpacked the feeling of rejection and where you think that can start out in a kid's life, a person's life, and how do you think people react differently?
SPEAKER_00And we had such interesting conversations about this. I feel deep rejection with friendships, women especially. I feel deep rejection, and you feel deep rejection in other areas. Is it okay if I say it? Like with men, with males, and I hold my women friends close and my friends close. Maybe it's because I'm not married, but from childhood, I was such a loyal friend. Uh, I didn't have a lot of a big crowd of friends. I went to a very small school, and I was, you know, maybe it started with me being in a very tiny little school, and then a girl would like move away, and then I would have to start over. And then uh, like I had dinner last week in Illinois with my best friend Jenny Sollers, who was my seventh grade best friend, and we were the only two girls in the seventh grade classroom at this little Christian school. But every other year at this little Christian school, I would have to start over with like a new friend, and it felt like a rejection in a lot of ways, or also feeling like, let's be honest, I was not like the most normal of children going around singing show tunes and like you know, I I just wasn't. So there's the rejection of not feeling um accepted, and that's just that's followed me my whole whole entire life. I wrote a book chapter about it, becoming a Christian, I mean really, really becoming a Christian in my 20s, and having all my college friends say, you killed the buzz now. Like literally.
SPEAKER_01Well, because because of how you changed since college, right? I would say that is a huge piece. Now, I would also digress and say, I do not think men is where my rejection lies. Okay. I think I just don't I think what has been wild is because of how I grew up. Like I don't think rejection wasn't a thing I could deal with in the sense that wildly, miraculously, I did not feel rejected by my biological father.
SPEAKER_00That is, and we talked about this. Yes. I had a biological father that was like my cheerleader, like everything you do is gold. And if they don't love you, there's a problem with them. And um my my thought of men is like that is what the male relationship should be. And my mother had close friends, so I grew up in like this social environment where like my mom had a bridge club and then she had a singing group, and I've just valued women so much. And if I feel let's get away, you know, for the going away party, whatever. Yeah, if if a friend doesn't want me to be the friend, the reason it was so hurtful is I thought, what did I do to deserve this? Like, what did I do to make myself not on the cool kids list?
SPEAKER_01Yes, this is so exciting. It's making me hot, and I have to take up my jacket. Or are you having a backlash?
unknownI know, or something else.
SPEAKER_01Or are you so I so this is what's so amazing to me, and I love it so much. So, how we feel rejection, how we interpret rejection when we how we how we analyze humanity and friendships and people and relationships. So you grew up in this, and sometime we'll do a bigger thing on um family. I grew up being born into this system of my mom and her girlfriends who are both single and watching them date and watching through live through their own things and their own lives and their own dreams, and you were born into a family, like waiting for you for people, and I'm not saying my my like empty. That's very valid. Exactly. It's like how you grew up, so I grew up in a way going, oh man, I was born in a way, other people have a lot going on. So I'm not looking at a parent, mom taking care of dad, dad taking care of mom. I'm watching female friendships. I'm watching how they can react emotionally to things that have nothing to do with them. Like I'm watching all these intricate, complicated dynamics of female friendships, right? So I grew up going, oh, it's not me, it's them. Oh, it's not me, it's capacity. Oh, it's not me. Like, even with my biological father not feeling rejected by my biodad, we will someday do an episode on this. I didn't like to be alone after I had one significant relationship end, partially because it was like such a dramatic ending, and then I didn't date for a long time and I was like, I don't want that to happen again. But I also watched all these women dating. I watched them in their careers, I watched them meeting their husbands and boyfriends breaking up. I watched all these amazing things happen. And so it made kind of like, oh, well, getting married, finding a husband is an important part of life early on. You know what I mean? So I think that's where the man set in.
SPEAKER_00I got a revelation also that in the generation that I was raised in is the TV generation, and I wanted my movie, my movie watching life to mirror my real life. And I've joked about that that my whole life I was trying to live in a rom-com. And in the rom-com, I mean, literally, I dated the football player in high school on purpose because that's what you need to do to be accepted. I uh pursued a career that had the ultimate uh cli cachet as an actor. Like I was chasing something uh my whole life. Something about me has always been like, I want to do everything to perfection, which I still struggle with. And so if something is a chink in that puzzle, a chink in that armor, and it doesn't look like a movie, because in a movie, the popular girl, which I really was, I mean, mid, right? The popular girl gets invited to all the parties. And instead of letting God like fill all those holes in my life and letting myself be like, okay, good, good riddance if that person isn't bringing me value, I still react like, but I'm trying to create a perfect picture and a perfect life at 50 years old today, going, um, but this isn't perfect because if it was perfect, this friend who has been a friend of mine for a really, really long time would love me and say, I can't have this celebration without Carrie there. Right.
SPEAKER_01And that's where I had no desire for perfection. Like the where perfection lies for me is like how something looks aesthetically. That is a perfection point for me. But I think like I am not good. I had a friend tell me once that I am not good at sharing my life with people with people, and that was such a valid point. Because I grew up going, when you have a hard time, you go and talk to your therapist about the hard time you're going through.
SPEAKER_02Right, right.
SPEAKER_01So I, you can attest to this. Many of our friends, probably mutual friends, can attest to this. I am the person, I am the shoulder that people come to cry on. I am that friend. I am not the fun friend.
SPEAKER_00I am not no you're a liar because you're one of my funniest friends on the spot.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm funny, but I'm not the fun friend. I don't want to go places, maybe brunch. Okay, that's fair that way, right? Okay, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. That person, I want come to my house and I'll cook for you. I am that friend. I, but I am also the friend that I won't talk to you or call. That's not you personally, anybody, like for seven, eight months, maybe a year, and then you call me or I call you, and it's like we talked five minutes ago. I just don't have a lot of capacity. Ooh, is it me not having a lot of capacity? But I just don't I recognize from how I grew up watching all these women and my aunts who were married and they're all their kids, that everyone has different levels of capacity in in in people, in humanity.
SPEAKER_00But I also think that like for my introvert, right? But for this example, I'm gonna tell you the end of the story. You told me, and my daughter told me, like, yeah, text wouldn't have been the way to go. And you can probably just my 18-year-old daughter is very wise, like, you're never gonna get an answer, you're never gonna find out what you did, let it go, and just get your own closure. Now, I listened to no one, and this morning I had to just it had been a couple days. I sent a text and I said, Hey, I care about you, and I just want to know if I have done anything that I need to apologize for, or if I've offended you in any way, I want to own up to that. And I sent the text, and I immediately got a response from the person, and I have my closure now because I'm not gonna share the details, but the only detail I will share is I didn't do anything to hurt them. Now I can sleep at night, I can make my decision about where this friendship goes from here, but I needed that, I needed my closure, and I think that a lot of people listening are like, well, you're not always gonna get your closure, and they're silent speak volumes, and sometimes that's okay. And when I sent that text today, I was prepared not to get an answer, and I made a deal with myself. I, as a Christian, need to man up in case there's anything I've ever done. And it because as a Christian, you want to just like go to your brother or your sister, but now I was done. If I never heard from him again, I would be done. And um, I feel okay now. Like it, and my daughter's like, I can't believe you're okay because you know, still you still didn't get invited and whatever. And I'm like, you know what? I choose to see the world half full. I choose to believe in the response that I got, and I'm okay. It doesn't mean that I'm not gonna face that rejection, but at this age in my life, it's so different than how an 18-year-old would have responded. My 18-year-old daughter was like, that's a bunch of crap, and you don't believe what they really said, do you? And I go, I absolutely believe what they said. Yeah. And I'm moving on. And the 18-year-old self would be like, Well, you know, off with their head. Yeah, I no, I'm totally done now.
SPEAKER_01No developed frontal lobe, right? Oh my gosh, the things I said at 18. But I my response was, oh, just give a call. What's hard about text messages in this day and age, it's hard because we all read, filter them through our own filters, right? So if you're on the reciprocating end of an e of a text, it can be really challenging to like read it because we tend to read it in the filter we're in, or maybe the mood we're in, or the situation we're in, whatever.
SPEAKER_00And then I also and I have a rule about this. If I send you a text message and I know you're gonna show it to 10 different people, every text message I send, in most situations, I have to be comfortable that that might get out. Like if you were talking about me, I can't believe what Carrie said. So that message that I sent this morning got written five times just to make sure that it was kind and that it was coposthetic. Right.
SPEAKER_01And I think this is gonna sound so harsh, but and it's not really to this particular situation. What saves us though, even though we all know Paul and I have some theological issues because I think he could have translated things better, um, or the translator could have translated, but I think it's part of Paul's kind of concept of don't think of any, don't think of yourself as more, what's the word? I guess better. Not yeah, that's not in the in the um translation, but it's like more significant. And I don't think he's saying don't think about ourselves, but I think he's saying, and maybe this is not theologically correct, but I I am what I learned in my childhood, which I feel like it's kind of can allude to this for other people or for what Paul's meaning, I was born into a situation that said other people got a lot of crap going on too. It's not about you.
SPEAKER_00And well, I think that's really a healthy thing, like a really healthy way to look at in a bad way.
SPEAKER_01No, in a bad way, no, because it can be bad. Because then it says in a in a really far wrong way, it can be like people have a lot of crap going on. You know, I'm gonna look at it in male relationships, boyfriend or girlfriend. People have a lot of crap going on, he has a lot of stuff, he only has a certain amount of capacity, he has a lot of his own crap. He can kind of I'm gonna let him off the hook for treating me that way. You know, it's fine. He had a trauma traumatic childhood. Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna take traumatic childhoods really seriously.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean that's like but I think if I can learn to live, I like as we're sort of like wrapping up this whole rejection thing, like I'm going to I'm gonna get rejection. It's it's a part of life. It's it's a part of life. I'm gonna have parties that I go, but here's what I get to choose now. I get to choose, like, you know, we talked about how Jesus had the three, Jesus had the 12, and Jesus had the 70. I, as a fully frontally lobe developed woman, get to choose who's my three, who's my 12. I mean, I don't have 70. Uh, so who's my three and who's my six? You know what I mean? It's kind of like that. And I get evidence based on the seasons of relationships. I may not be uh working with that person anymore. So we're not gonna be as close, but I'm gonna choose with the information I was given in this last text exchange, like with this particular situation, in like a super healthy way, to be like, no hard feelings. I wish you the best. And like, I'll be I'm fine now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it's really helpful for us to go like, you know, things can happen in our lives and they can push us in a really negative way, or they can push us in a really positive way. I think some of the things that could have seemed really negative in my childhood pushed me inevitably in a positive way. So sometimes I'll joke to you and I about like, I don't care. I'm dead inside, right? That's a joke. Everyone knows I'm not dead inside, but it is hard to hurt my feelings. It takes a lot because I genuinely think people have their own crap, people go through hard times. People, people we have a broken and suffering world, and I think we're gonna people are um there's so much hurt and shrapnel and challenge, and and so many people have such a hard time dealing with comp. Like, there's so many things going on in the world that it takes so much for like I don't know why. What is that about me?
SPEAKER_00It takes and you know, I got off the phone with you uh the other day, and I spoke with my really, really dear friend Allie, and I hung up with so much peace. And I said to Lou, you know, I go, like, I've got my three, and I've got my six, and I've got my my people that will take a bullet for me, and we're there in my breast cancer journey, and we're all the things like I felt so content and filled up that it didn't bother me as much as you know what I mean. So if I want to wrap this for our listeners, yeah. If you go through something in a rejection, which you inevitably will, unless you're Susie. Susie will not, just kidding. I'm dead inside.
SPEAKER_01I'm dead inside. I'm a cold person.
SPEAKER_00Susie is or or are you? But anyway, uh, Susie, if you go through something and you're sympathizing with me and you're like, I get it. I saw the Instagram bridge group and I didn't go to Six Flags or whatever. You get to choose how that affects you. And it is not wrong, however, you let it. And if you want to be uh somebody who is the Mel Robbins, let them let them, and you get your own closure, or you want to be the Carrie Pomroly and call, or just know that it's a part of life and you're in control. You're in control. And I think that's the most important thing that I've learned from this is I'm in control of how hurt I can be or not.
SPEAKER_01And I do think like I will say the rejection that I most fear in my life would be from my children. That would be, that would be, I think, the only one I ever think about or pray about or worry about, like it would be if my children ever truly rejected me as adults. I think that would be the most painful. But I do think probably God wired me in this way, in this very unique way, because for some miraculous Holy Spirit reason, I did not internalize my biological father choosing not to raise me as any kind of rejection. I think that's a gift from God. Even as a little girl, I was like, man, that guy was in his late 30s. He must have something going on with him. It was so clear to me.
SPEAKER_00I would have been like uh a Nancy Drew mystery, like stalking his house or something. But you know, uh God made us in so many different ways. And I just prayed that this conversation has has helped somebody out there and knowing, and especially when we were talking about last night, how I'll go out and do a show. I did a show on Friday night, and I made 500 women laugh, and I talked about rejection on stage. I talked about my college friends, and so many women came up, and then a couple days later, you know, a male coworker was moving away and it really hurt me. And I was like, don't believe the hype. What you see on Instagram is curated, what you see on Facebook is curated, what you see uh in the carpool line is curated. If you really want to know what's going on with somebody, you know, pick up the phone, go for copy, see them face to face, and know it's not about you. You taught me that. It really, and the whole answer from my friend, uh, it was it wasn't even about me. But um, I I love that we have these conversations. They they really help me, and I hope that they help you. Like we both learn from each other. Yeah. And um, so thank you for that. And before we go, uh, would you like to do your Susie Apologizes segment? Yes. Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01I apologizing for forgetting to do it at the beginning. Okay, that's a perfect. So I apologize. What um there's so many things to apologize. So I apologize about the conversation with my mom and my step. So I'm apologizing for um if I in fact from last week, if I minimized any kind of trauma or if I was unkind about um, like if I didn't take Carrie's mom's uh uh Vietnam stories, like I seriously enough. I don't know what have I done. The audience can tell me. I just live in a semi-state of I have said something that is now on camera. Well, I am so sorry. And can I just say this is a great one? Um, sometime we should talk about how terrifying this is for me. Well, that's a let's save it. I think it's a that's a whole topic. That is a whole topic. Like I wanted to be an actor on stage so I could hide and it not be filmed.
SPEAKER_00But I uh I love your apologies. And the fact that my brain works like this, I apologize for nothing. I feel like I did nothing wrong. And if you don't want me at your keys in era, you are missing out on a really good dancer. Okay, I'm just saying. So, anybody listening, you want to invite me to your next work party? Uh, I will come, I will show up.
SPEAKER_01But now comes my how would I feel about being invited to anything that starts after 7 p.m.
SPEAKER_00You yeah, you, yeah, that's why, yeah, I'm visiting you next week at one. Okay, but my darling, my favorite segment is coming up. It's called We Don't Hate It. And it's our beauty product this week. We've been talking about this for so many weeks, and it's uh something that Susie has craved for. Has did you put pennies in a jar? Like, how did you make this miracle happen for you? And now I can't see you. So what do you have?
SPEAKER_01I have well at a weak moment on Amazon. Um, so that's what happened.
SPEAKER_00You're like, I can't afford it, I can't afford it. These are tell the listeners because they can't see you.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm holding up black leggings that have really unattractive uh patterns that are waist-resistant bands, so they're weighted booty leggings. No, they're weight resistant. So you know when you do yoga and you have those bands?
SPEAKER_00I don't do yoga because it's uh of the devil. Did you not know that?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_00Satan said I can't do it.
SPEAKER_01Also do it. Satan said I can't. Satan said no.
SPEAKER_00Satan said, Don't join me.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so you're doing yoga. And uh, what are they? Are they weighted? It's like weight lifting. They're not weighted, they're like the res weight resistant bands, resistant bands, the leggings. So you're gonna put walking around wearing these. Uh I'm sorry, they're not attractive. But wait, are you gonna put the link of the what's the name of the company? Yes, fam, it's not Fanta, but it sounds like Fanta. It's like Fanta.
unknownFanta?
SPEAKER_01Okay, but you said Fanta. Sweet Flex are the expensive one. Fanta the soda is not going to help the same way.
SPEAKER_00The soda. I drink Fanta the Soda. So in the show notes, I want Orange Fanta and I want Sweet Flex to sponsor us. And you're gonna give us an update. Have you had any uh as we close our episode? Have you had any experience yet of positivity for these ugly leggings?
SPEAKER_01I think actually, no kidding. Like legit. It is, you feel it. You feel it, there's a lot of compression. Okay, sweet.
SPEAKER_00I want you to call us. Uh, and I did wear compression uh underwear under my outfit last week, but they compressed so hard that I had a very severe uh gastric stomach ache. Did you have nerve pain? I thought you had a cut act up. Uh, and you know what? This is a great way to end our episode being old. I gotta go drink the powder for my colonoscopy tomorrow. So it's a big day, everybody. It's a big day next week. I and Susie and I love medical procedures. A, I'm getting a nap, and B, I'm gonna lose five pounds. You know I'm gonna lose five pounds. So it's so excited.
SPEAKER_01Oh, and uh I love some good amnesia.
SPEAKER_00I love it forever. My favorite words in the English language are four, three, two, one. I am like, kick me out, Scotty. So thank you for listening. This has been so enlightening. I've learned so much. F-A-N-T-A is what really matters, Bancho. Follow us on Instagram, follow us on Facebook, send us an email. We might get in trouble for this at gmail.com. We're on we're on everywhere, we're on the networks. Our producer Eric, we want to say thank you for making this happen. And we're gonna put in the show notes his network because um actually Eric's network is getting us uh 80% of our viewers. So thank you to you guys. Uh we'll put just and uh Spotify and Amazon music and Apple and all the places, and we will see you next week. Bye.