Ep 8. Kerri Should Not be Left Unsupervised.

Kerri went to Italy with her daughter and accidentally came home with an international dating roster.

In this late-night episode of We Might Get in Trouble for This, Kerri reveals what happened when one viral video from Italy led to an inbox full of Italian men, flirtatious voice messages, dating-app dopamine and one very questionable return to Hinge.

After 12 years away from dating, she is suddenly navigating Christian dating, attraction, temptation, hormones, texting etiquette and the uncomfortable realization that she still enjoys being pursued.

Kerri and Susie also get honest about faith, guilt, grace, boundaries, discernment and the difference between healthy desire and a very distracting man emerging from the Italian ocean.

Is this a dating awakening, a hormonal emergency or simply a cry for adult supervision?

Watch for an honest and hilarious conversation about dating after divorce, dating over 50, Christian relationships, modern romance and trying to hear God while your phone keeps lighting up.

#GenXDating #DatingAfterDivorce #DatingOver50 #ChristianDating #HingeDating #ModernDating #ItalianMen #Hormones #MenopauseHumor #ChristianWomen #SingleWomenOver50 #DatingPodcast #ComedyPodcast #FaithAndDating #WeMightGetInTroubleForThis #kerripom

Learn about Kerri: kerripom.com

SEE KERRI LIVE! : kerripom.com/calendar

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello everybody, it's Carrie and Suze. And welcome to a very special late night edition of We Might Get in Trouble for This podcast. It is 10. Oh my gosh. It's 10.49 p.m. And we're taping in pajamas because Suzy has children and has no free time during the day. Right, Suze? I don't. I want to call this episode Carrie Should Not Be Left Unsupervised. Okay. I have so much to tell you. Um, I don't know where to start, but I the the underlying theme of this episode is Carrie needs hormones, and that's gonna solve a lot of problems. Okay, and I am at the end of this episode gonna tell you that I did start hormone therapy, but this behavior was all unfiltered non-hormone therapy uh behavior, which I I would like to practice. But it all started with me getting under anesthesia to about a month and a half ago and signing up for Facebook dating, as you know that story, and then going on one date, one date, and then dipping my toe back in the dating pool after 12 years, for those of you that don't understand what that's like 12 years of not dating, and then running back into my cocoon and being like that was for other people, and then uh I went to Italy with my daughter, and I'm gonna shorten this. I cannot catch a cold in America, I can't catch anyone in America, but there's something about my DNA, maybe in Italy, that makes the Italian men uh want to date me. And so I found my mojo, my Austin Powers mojo, by posting a video on Instagram live from Rome and walking through the streets by myself, and it got 40,000 views in 24 hours. And um, yeah, which is great. We love viral.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

That's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

We love viral. Uh yeah, yeah, it is. So all the Italians started messaging me, and my friends were like, Are these real Italians? Yes, they are real, they're not bots. I vetted them. Um, and I started carrying on these text conversations with many, many, many, many Italians. And all of a sudden, my non-hormone mojo uh uh started percolating, and I started getting voicemails and videos of them cooking. And I thought that I was in menopause, but if you listen to these voicemails as I told you, you could get pregnant. You I don't know if I sent you the voice. Did I send you any of the voicemails? No, but I said I don't want to hear them. But they're not sexual, they were just like they were just like oh they could read the Bible. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like the voice. It's the voice, and the fact is that these men started off one was 25, the first one was 25, the second one was 33, then we're at 30, we've we've moved up to 37. Um, they don't care, they don't care, and I've had a lot of botox, so they think I'm like 40. Uh it's been a wild ride, Susie, like a wild hormonal wide, and I I felt convicted, not like I was doing anything wrong, but my daughter was like, You're inappropriate, mother. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, um, I'm only inappropriate if it's in person, if it's on text, it doesn't help. And uh it's gotten to be a little out of control, and so there was I have nicknames for them. There was the Chefy, Chefy, because he's the chef, there's the politician. I was I'll use his real name. I blocked him, Valentino. We love you, Valentino, but we're not happening. Oh gosh, I had to because I felt like, God, is this a distraction? So I came back to America and they were still messaging me, and I am a really good pen pal. And so I was messaging it back for hours, it was bad, and then they would send videos. I'm cooking the pasta, and I was like, it's six o'clock in the morning here in California, I need to be at the gym, and it's like 10 o'clock at night there, and they were adorable and sweet, and like the dopamine was real. I keep not the dopamine was like really real, and then I'm like, God, what are you doing? This is bad, this is bad, this is bad.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

So then yeah, the dopamine was so good because when you were like, I started getting, I was gonna be like, Your period, pregnant, pregnant, my friends.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Yeah, my camera's like my ovaries are back. So this is what I did, and this is such a full disclosure podcast. I sell things I I you know, people listen to this podcast, and my intimate family probably won't. Then I'm such an idiot that I did the free trial on one of these dating American apps because I was like, Well, the dopamine from Italy is like not good for me. And maybe if I put Jesus on my profile on like an American dating app, like that would be okay, right? So I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

I will always already tell you right now, it is not the same.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

It is not the oh, so no God. So then, okay, to wrap up my story, last week I had a guy, his name's Iron Man, because he is an iron worker, and he was really funny, and I like him. He's a Gen X, and he's like, Can I just call you? And we talked on the phone, and it was really funny and text, but there's such a pheromone thing on the phone, right? Like it just like wasn't clicking on the phone, and I was bored, and he's not asking me any questions about myself, and all I have to do is hang up on him, and there's three Italians that are like telling me about your day, everything you do. It's like I'm like, Jesus, this is not fair, this is not fair. And I'm sending the pictures to you and my friends, and my friends are like, this is not fair. And I was like, send me a selfie, and so they're sending me. I'm like, these are real photos, these guys aren't even fake. I mean, they they look airbrushed, and um, so then I do have an update. So I blocked Cheffy and I blocked Valentino because I was like, I can't do it, I can't do it. Even though Cheffy might be coming to California to start a pasta business, which is really bad. Then I got a new one, and I can't say his name because I still might be communicating with him, and he is trouble. He's the one I sent you yesterday, and you were like, Lord, have mercy. He looks like he pumped like a calendar. Why do these guys in Italy post pictures of them coming out of the ocean? Like it's always them in the ocean. And so my kids are out of town, they went camping, and around seven o'clock this morning, which is like whatever time, 10 o'clock. Yeah, like, Chabela, what are you doing? And I was like, I need to go to the gym and not be talking to you, is what I need to be doing. So I chatted with him, and then I went to the gym, and as soon as he's like a little fairy in my phone, and I came out of the gym and he was right there, and then he's like, What are you doing now? I was like, I need to go back in the gym and stop thinking to you because he's gorgeous. And the whole day it's just bad, the whole hour I chatted with him so long to the point where I was like, I need to repent. This is bad. It was bad, it was bad. I mean, not like I don't want my viewers to think I'm bad. It was just bad, and I should have shut it down. And so this is what happened. I went back on hinge at five o'clock today. Because I was like, Well, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna be bad and be off the wagon, I'm gonna be all the way off the wagon. And so I put Jesus, Jesus, Jesus on my hinge profile, like full time. Like, if you don't talk about Jesus, don't write me. And this normal, nice guy writes me, okay? Like cute, okay, normal in Sacramento, funny. It's funny because he goes, I'm funny, and he doesn't know my job. And I go, I bet I'm funny. I go, I bet I'm funnier than he goes. He goes, 'None.' I was like, challenge. And then so we chatted, and then I was like happy because I was like, he and he like totally was like, Oh, and he's like, I'll hold the door for you. And like, these are my general messages. I know which side of the table a lady needs to sit on, like, super old fashioned. And then I said something charming, and then he didn't write me back. And that was like it's seven o'clock. And I have a bandwidth of not writing me back of 30 minutes before I block you. I haven't blocked him. But is that what the kids are doing today? Because that's bull crap. So that's my life. I've got one Italian still on the hook. I gotta get rid of him. He's so bad. And then I have one American that I thought oh, by the way, very Christian, this guy. He's like, I love the prayer thing. I love church, I love talking to the Lord, but you don't run me back. I'm adorable. My ego's really big. So if you don't run me back, like that's your loss. What do you think? But I like I like the American guy. He's like normal and he talks about prayer.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

And maybe Yeah, so I think I think if his response is hey, blah, blah, blah, sorry about any delay, blah, blah, blah. You know, any because people can be delayed, right? You know, well, he doesn't owe me a neural. Like, is he a neurosurgeon? Like, yeah, like a patient. He knows guy.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

He's like he's like uh some kind of uh blue-collar baby machine worker. He's very like Sacramento, he's got like a not normally into this, he's got like a little bit of a beard, but he's very like manly, which I kind of like. Uh and if he doesn't come with a doctor's note, like I got the flu at seven o'clock last night, I started vomiting, or someone died. I don't, but I'm like, how long do I give this guy? Like he doesn't owe me anything because we just chatted. I think we probably exchanged four text messages, like on that app total. He's very polite. He said you have nice eyes. Uh, very very polite, very polite. But how long what's the statue of limitations?

SPEAKER_00 10:31

I I I really don't know. Like, I have been single one year since I was 20. I know, but like but I've been married more than once. But you met a guy online. You met so I I believe in there's an element of me that believes in um attacking to multiple multiple people, or like in that first dating arena, if you have time to date different people, so that um one doesn't become like extremely right um like you know when you're like so thinking about a person over and over and over and your emotions are like heightened if they text back and lowered if they don't, you know, not you're not there yet, but like that feeling don't ask me about Italy, don't ask me about that feeling.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

The old happiness are are heightened if if Italy it's like different I think what's different maybe with the men in Italy, maybe they're just more forward.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Very I love it, I love it in in the US or in the people you're talking to are not as forward. And I appreciate when men are forward in like a romantic way. You know what's weird though? As long as you like them, if you like them, any kind of romantic forwardness is like great, but if you don't like them, any kind of romantic forwardness is just weird. Yeah, well it's kind of romantic. It's it's either romantic or stalking.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

You can stalk me if you look good to me. If you don't look good to me and you call me twice, I'm gonna be like, you're cringy. But uh, like the thing is I'm very not into internet dating. I I've not I've never really partaken too much of it. So I'm very old. Like, if I'm texting you and we're gonna stop texting, I am so old that I want you to go, okay, I'm going to bed now, I will text you tomorrow. Or yeah, it was nice chatting with you, good night, you know, or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

And so I think that's nice, and I don't think a lot of people I think it's nice and polite and mature and grown up. That's what I think it is.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Well, you're correct, and if you don't do that, I'm gonna give you one day, maybe I'll probably give them a day, and then if I I just am not if I'm not that important to you, or getting to know me isn't that important. No hard feelings. Like I think the great thing about being a certain age is you have a healthy ego. My ego's very healthy. I I'm like, God is not ordaining for us to be chatting. Now, the problem is I know that what I did, it was really, and I keep saying wrong, and I don't want our listeners to be like, oh, carry yourself scandalous, but like I could tell that it was the train to nowhere's bill messaging this guy and super flirty and like like crossing every flirty line that I would never let an American guy, you know, cross. And I was just like, eh, I'm bored, who cares? And then I was like, for the first time in a really long time, I felt like I might be doing something wrong. Like, really, I felt like this might be wrong. And I, as a mature Christian, did not stop myself at all. I was like, this is fun. I I'll deal with it later, God. And I was like, Oh my gosh, Carrie, like, Carrie, you're a Christian, like mom and profess. Like, I was like, Oh, you still have all the capability to act like an idiot, like you have all the capability to do things like we're never immune to temptation, I guess. You know, I'm not drugs, I'm not drinking, I'm not doing all these things. But like going further and further away from God and wasting all this time and letting this guy say all these cross-boundary comments to me and entertaining them and just being like, mm-hmm, yep, thanks. And I'm like, I would never let my daughters do this, ever. And I was like, God, how bored am I? You know what I mean? Like, or how starved for attention am I?

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Like, yeah, I mean maybe if you can put it in this thing of like, Lord forgive me for letting it go there or letting it be so in my head space, because it's not good for you. It's not, it makes you feel bad, it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe though, you should look at it as like, okay, there is something in me that still enjoys being desired and actually wants to desire someone. And maybe as your girls are getting older, it's like God's reminding you, hey, you're not dead yet. I may have a relationship.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Yeah, 100%, because I spent over a decade, like a guy would hit on me, I've been hit on like in the grocery store or whatever, and I run to aisle four. I mean, like, run. I remember it happening, and so I'm like, A, hormones. Uh, B, maybe God's bringing something and the enemy's bringing 1370. And they're like weeds, these Italians, they pop up, man. You cut them off, there's another one. But the thing was, I knew that it was not an appropriate conversation to be having, not like it was terrible. I knew it, and I didn't stop it. And it was really weird because in my adult Christian life, I don't have a lot of things in my life that I know are wrong, and I do anyway. It's been a long time.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

You know what I mean? You are really good at the black and white, right? You're very good at being like, this is right, this is wrong. Whereas me, I'm very like in the gray on a lot of things. It's not that I don't think things are right or wrong, or don't look at it in that thing. I'm a big believer in how even God works with us or our sin is he deals with the motivations of our sin.

unknown 16:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Well, do you think that like do you think I felt like God when I do things wrong? I sometimes go back to my Catholic guilt and I go, I think he's mad at me now. Like, I think that he's not mad at me, but back to my Catholic, like, I screwed that up today, and I can't. We I talked about it with him in the car. I was like, God, you need to fix this. But I was very guilty, like, oh gosh, I can't be in his good graces till tomorrow. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's so theologically not sound, but there are consequences for sin. So now do I have to walk around going, uh, that was sinful. Is the other shoe gonna drop? You know what I mean? Like, well, you go, Lord, that was, you know.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

But what are my concepts? That was sinful. I was trying to fill something in me with this thing that does feel good. And it's not that romance and love and relationship isn't good. Desiring someone, and it's it is part of God has work to help us procreate, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Like the desire, the love of someone. But I but I'm gonna get punished because I did something wrong.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

I do understand because I think all of us can have some of a kind of like, Jesus came so God wouldn't hit me. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 17:56

When I had like a little bit of that, like I have stories like, okay, this is a true story in Playa Vista 10 years ago, 15. I don't know. I was at the gym in Playa Vista, and I sideswiped and like scratched a car mini, like like minuscule. It was a scratch, though. It was a scratch. And I'm gonna full confession, I was young and stupid, and I didn't leave a note, and I felt guilty about it. And the minute I did it, and I just was late, I was late for some appointment. I didn't know and I it plagued me, it plagued me, it plagued me. So two weeks later, I'm at a prayer meeting in Culver City, and we hear sirens and we hear right, and I look down. My car has been hit by a drunk driver. My car got trashed, my car got hit, parked. The drunk driver was so drunk, it swerved and totaled my car. I swear to God, I looked up in heaven. I was like, all right, I get it, Jesus. Like I literally laughed, and I know that that's not true, but is it right? You know, like karma.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

It's not, it's like we can people can be like, oh, well, you reap what you sow and consider it karma, but the whole reaping what you sow idea is ongoing habitual stuff. Do you know what I mean? That it that is the consist there. But I can understand how we can be how that can seem that way, right? And I would understand having guilt for like hitting someone's car and not leaving a note, right? It's just like the the um so I'll like I can say it like this. And I know I've talked about this before. Because I met God and experienced God in sorrow and suffering, even when I was doing something, quote, bad, right, I could still feel his love and compassion, like mightily. And and I think because he could he was, yes, sin is bad. His issue, God's issue with sin is it separates us from him, right? It pulls us away from him. And like I it's hard for me not to experience that, right? To I want to not sin because I know that I am by nature really I can be very self-destructive, right? I I think we said it before, there are people that are mean to others, and then there are people that are mean to themselves. I'm gonna be mean to myself 99% of the time. Like that's what I've had to work on, right? So because I have been in the midst of doing something that people would call sin or could call sin, but have afterwards, in my own self-hatred, have felt the love and compassion of a savior sitting next to me and being near me. Like the presence of God that is one um a comfort and conviction. And I think I have a different idea of conviction sometimes than others, because I think conviction is like the Holy Spirit wooing us back home. Like if I do feel uncomfortable for doing this thing, I'm not assuming because it I'm feeling uncomfortable because God wants to make me feel convicted because it's good for God. God wants me, like if the Holy Spirit, if Holy Spirit's allowing me can to be convicted, it's because it's good for me.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

No, I know. And I could hear like the voice of God in the background today being like, girl, like literally, even when I went on this dating site, this like American dating site, I could hear that his voice going, I didn't tell you to do that, honey, but like have at it. And then the irony of my life, the the reason that my life is such an oxymoron is at the same time I get a video call today from Africa from one of my adopted kids, my adopted teenagers, and he just got baptized. So my day is like I started out with a prayer meeting with women. Then I'm talking to my friend who is in Africa, who's 18 and just got baptized. Then I'm talking to this guy from Italy. Then I am talking to this guy from America. And then another friend of mine from Africa calls me to tell me that one of his family members passed away. Like his young nine-year-old brother. So I'm like, this, this is I'm like, I get it, Jesus. I get it. I the only com the only one that one of these kids doesn't belong here is me hours and hours and hours entertaining all these affirmations from an Italian stranger, which really is the devil just going, let me get you distracted. Oh, and by the way, I was talking to my other friend who's a missionary in Thailand. Like, I think it's like the devil's like, here's a shiny, here's a shiny object. Don't look at what God may have for you around the corner. I want to get you out of your headspace.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

And he can't go over. I mean, I think that's a really good example of a day in actual faith. You know, like it doesn't look like a Christian movie, that we are all complex and we're all still human. Like, like the beauty of like the the need to be desired and loved and that kind of thing. That's huge.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

And no, you know what there is an epidemic going on in the church with sexual misconduct and sin and all that stuff. And like not just you know, the abusive stuff that's the worst, but even like you know, this infidelity. It's like that's a big stronghold out there. Like that desire it is. Uh, and these are like the titans of faith, and you're like, you cheated on your boy.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

You you were having all the like and you know, you know what I think. I think all of it can be threaded back to complementarianism. 1000%. The false, and I'm not gonna people can be complimentarians if they want to be, but when it becomes in it becomes in the way of a hierarchy that men are here, women are here, and children are here, like that is so backwards, it's not a God at all, uh any kind of hierarchy like that. But when we are lazy or shallow in our reading of scriptures, scripture, either because we genuinely don't know better and genuinely are trying our best, or we don't care if it's deeper or if it's better because it works out for us, or it's many other reasons, right? Delusional, deceived, demonic, whatever. Um, I think those kind of hierarchies, those kind of like I'm on I'm in charge and blah, blah, blah, that leads to infidelity. It leads to men going, you are not feeling my need, and I'm the boss, whether they want to say it or not.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

There are men out there saying it, and there's good Christian men out there saying it, and I won't get into that because that's a whole nother podcast. But uh, I think with with me, I'm what you're making me think is there there's nothing wrong with like traditional roles or whatever, like a woman wanting to be pursued, you know, and I think that's what I'm like, okay, God cut it off for such a long time for me because he wanted me to raise my children and be present and never, never even question it. But so the minute I get like pursued in like a hardcore way, it turns on a light switch and goes, Oh, that that I remember what that felt like. That was really great. But now I have to turn around and go, God, I need it to be your person pursuing me equally minded, faith-wise. And even maybe this guy tonight, faith-wise, God didn't want me talking to him. Like, I have to always think, okay, it's you're not my assignment. If you're not gonna message me, and I'm not gonna message you, God's like dodged a bullet. Not even that you're bad or I'm bad, but it's just like I I have a healthy ego enough to go, you we're just not it, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Yeah, it's like the idea you don't want to be busy with the wrong person.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Yeah, and I don't want to use the word ghosting as a verb, like I will never say that I ghosted somebody because um you're an idiot if you do that and you can't be a grown-up and just be like, you know, naturally you could be busy and sort, you know, like after that guy I went out with on one date, I didn't ghost him. I still say polite things on his Instagram, but he gets the picture, you know, like we don't have to have a full-blown I don't like you conversation. But yeah, the guy that I texted with tonight, like I literally am not even thinking about him. I'm kind of like, mm, that's weird because I'm really, really adorable.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

And um, can you not see it like can you not see it in some ways as like I don't know, I think it's really cool what's happening in a lot of ways. There there can be like so it's like um how how we feel about certain things or wanting to bypass certain things or feeling like we're sinning about certain things. I feel like it's it's so exciting to me because it it's also like God kind of nudging and telling us things too, right? Because if we how do I say it not at all the same, but it's like it's it's creating an emotion for you, right? Like it's it's like lighting up those endorphins, those feelings, the like wanting, desiring, partnership, whatever it is, just enjoying being seen as beautiful and lovely and and being told that that's not a bad thing, that's a wonderful thing, right? And maybe it's kind of like going to the Lord and be like, this is a thing that is happening in me. What do you want to do with it? Yeah, and if you want to show me if it's of you, and then you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 27:55

And next week I'm going to be on testosterone, so we're gonna see how that flies. Because I've heard but you know, I think it's that I appreciate you like helping me process it. I am old enough to know better, but I wasn't old enough to do better today. And I want like our listeners to know like that's okay. Like we're gonna have dates like that. It's not gonna be a repetitive thing, it's not gonna be like, oh my gosh, I went off the wagon and became a you know alcoholic, or I went off the wagon and I'm dating three Yahoos. But like I was like, all right, uh, I didn't do better today. My kids were out of town, I got lots of attention, but I and it's weird because I don't treat these Italians like they're human beings. I'm just like black. But um, I think the Italians might have a wife and three girlfriends. Who knows? I always joke about that with all of them and they deny it, but um they're not real, they're they're people, but like they're you know, I'm probably part of a group text that I don't know about. But um, I mean, don't close off.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Like, I understand what you're saying about these guys, but don't close off asking for the Lord to bring you someone who is lovely, yeah, romantic and authentically. In America, yeah, in America, romantic, authentically loving, like someone that can actually do and say those things, you know, like that's what like I was bummed because this guy tonight uh was like, I always hold the door for a lady and I always like and he's like kind of like manly man, you know, and I was like, I could be I could be attracted to that.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Like, you know what I mean? I that wasn't typically who I dated before I got married, but I I'm like, oh, you look like you should you could fix things, like you know what I mean? So can you change the oil in my car? No, seriously, love language. So we'll let the he doesn't. I kept and here's the thing that I always want to say I don't owe him anything, he doesn't owe me anything, we're not dating. We didn't even we don't even we didn't even say we had a date. It who knows if his kid walked in the room and was like, dad, why are you out like who the heck knows? Like, I don't know anything about him. I think he's a dad. I'm pretty sure he's a dad. Um, but but but if it were to go in a further direction of like, oh, we're chatting, you know, on a consistent basis, I'd set some ground rules and be like, you don't have to play my game, but you know, call me on the phone. I don't want to be pen pals.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Yeah, totally, totally.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Did you talk to Brody for a long time before you met him in person?

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Yeah. So we um there was like six weeks between us emailing for the first time and then going on a first date. And part of that was traveling and and and then I think we went on our first date the beginning of October, but had started emailing in like August. That's that feels like a long time. Mm-hmm. What was I doing? I was writing at the time, and he was he traveled more for work, and so that was part of it. But I do remember very clearly on a first date, having a different feeling than I had ever felt with anyone else. Not so much like love in my life, but being like, I think this is the first time a man has ever listened to me. Like it's such a different experience.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

My new my new theory though is that's six weeks longer than I would want to chat with somebody, like a week, like five weeks. Maybe I chat with them for a week or so and be like, if you're not pursuing me to get to know me, like friends, casual dating in person. I'm not, I'm very busy and I have enough pentails. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 31:47

Like, right, right. Well, I wasn't I wasn't talking to anyone else at that time at all. It was just like, I know that's a really long time. But I think by the time we actually met in person, we were both like, we're gonna be, and I think we had even been honest. Like, we're gonna be disappointed if the chemistry is not there.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

And that's what it's like big, it's a big disappointment after six weeks. That's why I'm like, video call me, like talk to me on the phone, let me hear your voice. I can kind of tell I'm a big chemistry person. I I can tell pretty quickly, like if we gel, you can be adorable in texting, but if you can't hold a conversation, and that's the thing that bummed me about this guy tonight. He's like in his profile, he wrote, uh, I don't want one-word answers. I don't want to play 20 questions with you. I want to have like a conversation. So uh, maybe he got abducted by aliens and then like tomorrow, or also I think maybe these guys on dating apps think this is how it rolls. Like they just think, like, you know, I'm one of these girls that's kind of like, hey, case the race. Um, you'll figure that out quickly enough about me. I'm just not, and none of my relationships before I got married were like that. They were all very intentional, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

Well, I I love that um, you know, that kind of thing of being intuitive and being like, hey, I don't think that's gonna work out, or hey, I had a really nice time talking to you, good night, whatever. It takes a kind of bravery and a courage that is really sexy. That kind of honesty, who doesn't love that?

SPEAKER_01 33:17

He put it on his profile, though. This guy goes, if you're not interested, no hard feelings. So I like I said, we literally exchanged like four, but every single message he wrote me was questions, like, tell me about your trip, like uh tell me about your hobbies, tell me about this. And I was like, Oh, wow. And he's like, I love that you pray for strangers. So we'll just see. He's you know, like I said, uh, you you and the world know I'm moving back to Southern California, and my real like true love is on a boat in Newport somewhere, but um, for now, for now, we shall see. But I feel like I I got to process this with you, which is really good. And I think I'm not alone. I think a lot of women are are dealing with this, thinking that we have to settle because we're of a certain age, and I just don't think it's true. I just don't think it's true.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

My mom met the love of her life when she was 69 years old, and she's never been happier.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

Well, I'm not getting that, I'm not waiting, but uh I I am in my you know my Botox years, so I feel like I've got some good years left.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Yeah, do you have any plastic surgery stories or no?

SPEAKER_01 34:26

Well, I have a new one that I want to have, and uh the fact that you and I were talking about it before, I want to have this. First of all, Bethany Frankel, stop lying about not getting filler because you're a liar. Uh, okay, so maybe you're not.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Sorry, Bethany. Sorry, sorry. I love you, but come on. Okay. I know I do love her, and I feel so terrible that her divorce was so horrific. Was it? I remember watching um Real House Sides of New York or her wedding episodes, which were some of the only ones I watched, because you know I don't like to watch any confrontation, so I always have to fast forward all the way through the fighting. Yeah. Um, so like I don't even watch any markets. What's the point? But um, I feel so bummed that was all right. It was like 10 years, it was horrible.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Well, she's a new boyfriend, and she's ungodly rich, and he's ungodly rich, and she seems happy. But okay, so she was talking about plastic surgery. I I don't ever want to have a facelift because I'm scared of surgery. I love Botox, I'll do it all day long. Maybe right now in my life, about twice a year, uh, maybe three times a year, depending on how many months I remember to go. But I was at this new dermatologist, and I said, How do I avoid getting a facelift in my later year? And he said, filler can go bad. Like if you do filler all the time, it can go bad. I was like, Oh, that's not good. Uh, and so he said, We have this thing called threads. And when I said threads, you knew what it was. I so much, I love it. So apparently, I want to get threads, which is like maybe you can explain.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

It goes like this. Yeah, you're you're not under, they numb you. It's like topical numbing or something. And basically it's threads that they're just like they put in certain areas and they go like this. I think they eventually dissolve.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

You have audio listeners, so they go like this in your Facebook.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Okay, sorry. They um pull things up. I love that and tight.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

And at the same time, they do a laser, uh a laser uh peel. So um I might do it. I do I mean I I it's not like a surgical thing, it's kind of like in place of filler, maybe in place of yeah, because it does something different than filler, because part of it is gravity has taken our faces down.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Gravity, life, stress, all those things have totally like uh what I did, everyone who can't see, is pull my face down. Like, so it takes care of any kind of jowls or whatever, any kind of it takes care of the things that gravity and our 20s did to us.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

And the fact that we want to have it now makes me laugh because I really don't think I have jowls. But if I go into a dermatologist office in LA or in California, he'll be like, Yeah, you should have threads. And I was like, because there's no doctor that's gonna be like, You're fine. Like there's nothing wrong with you. He's like, I need cash, so I think I do it in July, and I hope I'm not dating anyone because there's downtime, and I'll have to tell them I went out of town. There isn't a ton of downtime.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Five days. There's some swelling, seven days, some swelling, you know. But it's not like you can't do it, like you can't eat or drink. Oh, I love that. And can I just can I also just say um, so people know how well rounded we are. Yeah. Um, my birthday is coming up, I'm gonna be 45. Um and how many days? Um since I don't know, I can't count anymore. Um so I um what I asked for my husband, even though you know I'm gonna get bread someday, I did ask for a circular saw and a wood cutting table because I'm gonna build a deck myself. Yes, yeah. So we're well rounded.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

I'm so impressed by you. Like, if you were single and you put that on a dating website, I feel like all the men of the motor club would like be like, you're so sexy. Like, that's amazing. I love that about you.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

I just um one of you know, I tiled our whole kitchen. One of, you know, I love the crew guys, like I love working with them, but it annoys me because I'm like, why can't I do that? I could do that if I had all the equipment too.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Exactly the opposite. I love the crew guys and telling them what to do and planning with them and and dreaming with them, and then they do it.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

It just bothers me because I'm like, I don't know. It just annoys me.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Am I a control freak? I don't know. Such a little flowery girly girl and go, you guys are doing great. I love you so much. Uh, I want but I want another thing. Oh, go ahead. You go do it. I want focus on the deck, I want all of it. So I'm just congratulating you on that. And happy early birthday.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Yes, yes. And then also, um, we greatly care about what's happening in the world. I just want everyone to know we we are making this, we were talking light about each other, but trust me, I am rage typing and writing many times throughout the day. So it's not that we don't care about all the things going on in the world, that I can even be obsessive to the point where I am like, I'm gonna run for Congress, right? Or, you know, like so it's important for our audience. No, this is like a breath for us, and it's a breath that I need, and I'm always grateful that you bring that to me.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

I mean, like I said, like two hours ago, I was on the phone with a sweet boy, and he lost a year old brother. And knowing that I can come talk to you about threads and boys is such a breath of fresh air, and I hope that's what this podcast is for people, is just like yeah, with a dose of learning. Like, you know what I mean? It's like ridiculous with like a dose, but I really appreciate processing some of this stuff with you, and I think our listeners will too, because it's kind of like I'm not crazy, I'm not wrong, I'm not bad, none of this is bad. It's just what am I gonna do? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 40:24

You know, I heard someone talking about um parenting and how like the first thing is like to look at their children as sinners, and I was like, this is so messed up, because we gotta go back to Genesis one or whatever, whenever God made us. I don't remember what chapter it is, but it we were good, you know, and then obviously sin the fall. But that is if we can love ourselves enough to know that we are beloved and we are we are made in the image of God, and that adds great value and wonder in who we are, and then we can neck right recognize that we are also fallen in a fallen world, any fallen system that we didn't create, right? And even I think of the fall as us not recognizing that like us trying to take things into our own hands all the time, not like resting in the love of God anymore. You know what I mean? And and so I was like, oh man, if people in the Christian world look if if they're starting out as they're raising their kids, and this is like not universally true of everyone, but I do think we're seeing a heightening in it. Um if the first thing you see when you look at your baby as a sinner, there's something wrong there. Yeah, I know something wrong, and that's a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Well, I feel good about myself, and I think I preserve. I we'll see what we'll see what Josh Moe does tomorrow. Uh stay tuned next week. Uh update. But I love chat with you and we love your we love your letters and emails and comments, and you can find us um on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube if you want to see our pretty little pajama faces. Uh uh make sure you follow us everywhere, and we will see you guys next week. Bye. Bye.