Stop Looking for a Magic Pill: The Real Work of Healing & Self-Discovery

In this powerful episode of Don’t Ask Me Sh!t, Dorie sits down with intuitive coach and psychic medium Laura Hoorweg for a deep, no-fluff conversation about what it really takes to heal, grow, and reconnect with your authentic self.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or like you’re just going through the motions—this episode is for you.

Laura breaks down the truth about:

• Why most people are disconnected from who they really are
• The impact of conditioning from family, culture, and society
• What “energetic baggage” actually looks like in your life
• The difference between surface-level healing and root-level transformation
• Why there is NO magic pill—and what actually works
• How meditation supports your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health
• The truth about self-care (and why bubble baths aren’t enough)

This conversation also dives into hard truths about worthiness, generational patterns, and why so many people are afraid to truly face themselves.

If you’re ready to stop running, stop masking, and start doing the real work—press play.

To work with Laura visit her website:🌐 http://www.spiritspeaks2.me

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Hello, and welcome to Don't Ask Me Shit, the podcast where we stop pretending, we stop sugarcoating, and we stop dancing around the real issues. I'm Coach Dory, a stress management and relationship recovery coach, here to help you heal from toxic family, friendships, and romantic partners. This is the space for the conversations people avoid relationships, accountability, self-sabotage, healing, boundaries, and all the messy stuff that folks don't want to talk about. So, um, but we're gonna talk about it on here. And remember, you can always ask Coach Dory, but if you're not ready to do the work, don't ask me shit, because I'm not here to co-sign your excuses and I'm not here to uh yeah, you know, you know, you know the deal. I'm here to help you grow. That's it. So let's get into it. Today's guest is Laura, and I'm not even gonna attempt to pronounce your last name. You can do that when I let you introduce yourself. Um, but Laura is a spiritual, is a gifted spiritual counselor, uh intuitive, sorry, let me do this again. Laura is a gifted spiritual counselor, an intuitive coach, and a psychic medium known for her uncanny accuracy, deep compassion, and soul level clarity. She helps those who feel lost, stuck, and overwhelmed, or if they're in transition, to connect, to reconnect with their purpose, release energetic baggage, and realign with who they truly are. Laura, you can clean that up because I know I just messed that all up. Give us a little insight on who you are and how did you get into um this space of coaching?

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Uh well, the last name is actually really easy. You probably would have got it right anyway. It's Horwig. It's it's Horwig. Okay, Horwig. Yeah, it's really simple. It's Dutch, so it's it's easy. Um well, um, what I found is that I love to work with spirit. I've been very, very spiritually connected ever since I was a child. And I I use my spiritual gifts to help people make their lives work. Okay, whether it's friends, whether it's family, whether it's relationships, whether it's business, I help a lot of people in their business, businesses as well, whether they're going through a transition or they simply want to grow. But uh I could take half of what you said and throw it in there because I love, I always say that I we go deep, but I'm not about fluff. And I'm definitely the most grounded woo-woo person you could ever meet. Okay, because I combine my spiritual gifts with my vast life experience. I've had a challenging life and I'll been through all kinds of things, so I can really relate to uh where my clients are at this particular moment. And I always say traditional counseling and coaching is wonderful, but it has a limitation because when you're working from book knowledge, it's a whole different experience than when you can look somebody in the eye and say, I know exactly how you feel because I've been there. Okay. It's the same premise as um support groups. That's why support groups work because you're dealing with people who have been where you've been. And uh, when I can combine that deep dive of spiritual knowledge with that deep dive of personal experience, it all works out really well.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

That's cool. Let's talk about this woo-woo part of this for a minute, because I know a lot of people hear, they hear intuitive coach, they hear medium, they hear, and they just shut down immediately because it doesn't fit with a lot of our traditional traditional religious views and things, but I'm of the belief that you know everybody needs something different, everybody's healing journey isn't the same, you know. So what works for others may not work for you. Um, how do you bridge when you deal with a lot of because I I think I read that you were um trained. I'm sorry, there's something here about religious training, not necessarily I didn't have any religious training, really.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

I I I didn't grow up in a religious family at all, um but I did a lot of work in spiritual training and energy healing and and on my intuitive gifts. Um so I have training, so I'll just pretty pretty open-minded. But you want to cover that really quickly because I have always had my clients span every organized religion you can think of, every thought belief system you can think of, and and even people who can would consider themselves agnostic or even atheists. Um so that doesn't get in the way, it's kind of like Buddhism. Like people believe that Buddhism is actually a religion. Buddhism, it's actually a thought form. So there can be Buddhists, there can be Christian Buddhist, you know, Buddhists, there can be uh, you know, any any so it's it's more of a thought form, and it's what the the reason is um some of our issues arise from this lifetime, okay, and we can dive deeply into those, but a lot of times we carry over uh uh challenges and energies and lessons from past lifetimes, so we're not consciously aware of those, and if you're not consciously aware of something, you can't release it, you can't heal it, you can't let it go. So sometimes just literally knowing where a problem or a block or um you know a challenge came from, um, just knowing that information, it can just totally dissolve that and you're able to let that go. So it's it's really a powerful thing. So don't be scared off by the woo-woo aspect because, like I said, it's not that woo-woo. Well, I can. I like I shouldn't say that I can get as woo-woo as you want to be, but I'm I'm pretty darn practical. That's why I was laughing when you said um what's your little tagline? Uh, don't talk shit or something. Don't ask me shit. Don't ask me shit. Yeah, exactly. Well, I I'm kind of the no bullshit spiritual girl, um, because I don't believe in in handing people a lot of fluffy answers. We dig deep. That's what I love about working with spirit, actually, is spirit gets to the root of the problem. A lot of traditional counseling and coaching tends to be what I call band-aid solutions, which means it's treating symptoms as opposed to treating root causes. The root cause, you're just gonna cut that that problem or that uh challenge is just gonna keep recurring in your life until you feel that root cause.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Right. And and you know, I even I jokingly say that don't ask me shit, but that's actually where that comes from because a lot of people just want surface answers, and that's not gonna get you the healing that you want. And so I want to create a platform, I wanted to create a platform where all people can come and find healing here in any form that they need it. But if you're not ready to face reality, then you know don't waste your time because it's you're not gonna get there, you're gonna keep butt running into the wall until you're ready to open up to whatever is there for you. So um, my first question then is um you say that you help people reconnect with their purpose. What are some signs that you can tell when someone is completely disconnected from who they really are?

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Uh number one, I can see it in their energy because actually the vast majority of people uh we are all we are all or have been at some point in time totally disconnected from our authentic self. I speak about the authentic self. You could use uh the term soul self. Some people like to think about it as their inner child, and we are because we come in that way. We come in to each lifetime with a plan that we want things that we want to accomplish, things that we want to learn, things that we want to teach, all those things. But the problem is, as soon as we come in, you know, family, religion, culture, uh, advertising, all these things, education, all these things tell us who we should be, and they they basically brainwash us out of who we really are. So it's if you want to look at your purpose, the first step to looking at your purpose or discovering your mission, if you want to call it that, is discovering who you who is your authentic self, getting that deep connection within. Because if you don't have that connection within to yourself, you are never going to find out what your purpose is. You are never going to be able to connect authentically actually with anyone else if you're not connected to your authentic self.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Well, how do you know when you're connected? I mean, and we'll get into the work of connecting, but for the person that's asking that question, how will you know when you're connected to your authentic self?

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Well, I think it's more of how when you don't. This is how people that they're not connected. If you, you know, people suffering, like you know, there's a lot of talk now about imposter syndrome. If you always feel like you're not yourself, if you feel like you're just going through the motions, if you feel like you know, you step into the room and you're talking with people and you feel like nobody sees you, nobody knows who you really are, right there is a really good place to start because that tells you that you're not really connected to yourself. Because I tell you, when you're really connected to your off your authentic self, people see you. They might not always like what they see, okay, but that's their that's their problem, okay? Right. If you showing up as your you need to show up as your authentic self, and if somebody doesn't like it, oh well, that person isn't, you know, we're not that life gonna dispel a major, a major belief system. Life is not a popularity contest, okay. We're brought, yeah, we're brought up to believe that it is, that we have to have the max, we have to have everybody liking us, okay? And this is where a lot of that false self comes from is we twist and turn ourselves and remake ourselves and put on all these masks to uh make ourselves acceptable or what we think is acceptable to others, and when you start feeling those things and you start realizing that you don't feel like yourself, people aren't treating you the way that you want to be treated, and you feel like you're not being seen, those are really big signposts to know that you're not connected with yourself. And the other big one is if you're always feeling tense or anxious or all these things, you know you're not connected. Okay. You just when you're connected to your authentic self, you can be in any circumstance, anything can be going on around you, and you can still feel that grounded peacefulness inside of you, and a lot of people have never ever felt that.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Right. Okay, yeah, you're it it is a difference when you feel it, you know it.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

You know it, yeah. It's it's hard. This is why I said it's easier just to describe what it's not than what it actually is, but I guarantee you, when you start feeling it, you're gonna be going like, Wow, because that's when people really start to wake up. But I'm gonna tell you, it takes work, and you're kind of my no bullshit thing is a lot of people come to me looking for this magic pill. Okay, they want somebody to do it for them. Yeah, I can help them, spirit can guide them in the right directions, but I'm gonna tell you right now, the work of getting it done is up to you. Yeah, if you're not willing to work on yourself, don't waste your time and don't waste my time because I can tell right away people who will come in and want somebody else to do it all for them, or they're looking for this magic pill, this magic ritual, this magic um uh activities that they can do that's suddenly going to make them into the person that they want to be without doing any work. I can tell you right now that does not exist.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Okay. So now that I mean, with you and I and a lot of people that have done the work, we understand on this side the freedom that comes from tapping into our authentic self. Why do you think so many people are afraid to look at even this spiritual um side of things in order to tap into that?

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Well, I think a lot of people are absolutely terrified of what they might find. Okay, because they've been given this kind of cookie cutter. I don't care whether you're a man, whether you're a woman, what what economic bracket you fit in, what religion you're in, everybody has been given like a file with all these characteristics of what the perfect person looks like. Okay. Oh, you know, and and nobody is that person. And why would you ever want to be that person in the first place? Because your absolute gift from I don't care whether you say it is God from the universe, your gift is as a human being is your unique individuality and your unique gifts, and that's what you want to be. You don't want to be this cookie cut of what society, religion, culture, what all those things tell you you should be. And this is where the brainwashing comes in, and this is why so many people are afraid of actually finding out who they really are, because they're afraid of what they're gonna find out. They would rather torture themselves wearing all these different masks and feeling totally unfulfilled. There's another, there's another cue, okay? If you're always no matter what you do, if you're always feeling totally unfulfilled, you can you can be guaranteed that you are not being your authentic self.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Wow. So with someone that's feeling stuck, say, hey, I want that freedom, I want to know who I am, I'm feeling stuck, I'm overwhelmed. Um, what are the first steps that you would tell that person that they can take to start realigning themselves with their authentic self?

SPEAKER_02 16:00

With their authentic self. The most powerful tool is called meditation, meditation, and meditation. Okay, it's like real estate location, location, location, except it's meditation, meditation, meditation. Now the reason is if you okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna say something I don't think I've ever said. If there was ever anything close to a magic pill, it's actually meditation. And the reason is okay, meditation covers all four pillars, which makes which supports your entire life and your ability to be your authentic self. Okay, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, all four in one simple activity. Okay, and repeat those names: physical, mental physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Okay, okay. So it being having a meditation practice, and when I say meditation practice, it's called a practice because that means you're doing it every day. Now it doesn't have to people get scared of meditation because they have this idea that you have to it, it's like hours and hours of chanting ohm or something like that. And there's all different kinds of meditation, um, and it doesn't have to be 20 to 30 minutes a day, you're golden. Okay. Even if you start out 10-15 minutes, at least that's a start and you're building up. And I always recommend to my clients and everybody else for that matter, that the best time to meditate is first thing in the morning. The reason is twofold. One, often you'll notice, uh, I notice this myself. I don't know sometimes what goes on at night, whether it's dreaming, whether we're shedding a bunch of stuff, but a lot of time you can wake up in the morning and you just feel really off, or you feel really anxious, or you feel angry. Like a lot of people come to me and they say, I don't know why, I just woke up so angry. Meditation will get rid of that. Okay. If you don't meditate, that feeling, that off feeling, whatever it is that you wake up with, it will continue throughout the day and it will grow. Okay, if you do nothing about it, okay. The other reason is that, well, it's kind of a combined reason. The reason is when you meditate in the morning, it sets your energy for the entire day, okay, regardless of the way you woke up. Even if you woke up in a great mood, um, meditating first thing in the morning is going to ensure that that is going to continue. It's going to ensure that you're grounded, it's going to ensure that you, regardless of what's going on around you, that you're better able to deal with it. So meditation is the prime rule. I always recommend, I think there's all, like I said, it's a it's a it's an experimentation on finding what is the best meditation for you. Okay, because again, there's no one size fits all. The best meditation that I recommend for somebody who's new to meditation or somebody that has a great difficulty that's tried meditation and it hasn't worked very well for them, is uh guided meditation. Okay, because it's the simplest one. Trying to get into one of these advanced silent meditation practices is very difficult for a lot of people. I still do primarily guided meditation myself because it just works better for me.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Okay, does that help? Because I I have to admit, I've tried different forms of meditation, so I'm aware that there are different ways, and there's some there's one that I like better than others, but what I it's so boring, and I don't know if I should even say that or not, but I just get I feel bored, and I don't know if it's just my neurological differences, I don't know if I'm just overwhelmed, I don't know what it is. So, speaking to people that may have attention issues, what what what can help them with well?

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Number one, it's your mindset, okay?

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Okay, is a lot of people I need to stop saying I'm bored, yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

You need to stop saying you're bored, but the reason I would say that in this this will help others, your personal situation is you actually the the actual belief under I'm bored is I'm wasting time. Oh okay, because a lot of people today figure if you're doing nothing, you're if you're not accomplishing like we've been so brainwashed that every second of the day we gotta be accomplishing something, not only accomplishing something, but we've got to be multitasking and we've got to be doing at least three things at once.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Wow. That just cleared up the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

Yeah, exactly. So simply clicking, and part of that part of that I'm wasting time is under that, there's always layers. Under that is I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy of having this time for myself. I'm not worthy in treating myself well.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Where does that come from?

SPEAKER_02 21:30

That comes from all kinds of messages. I guarantee you, everyone got the message in multiple forms when you were young. Okay, it was embedded into your consciousness that you were not worthy or you're not good enough. Okay. I'll give you a dramatic example. Okay. This is a dramatic example, but it'll help people see better. When I was in a senior in high school, I came home with the Absolute best report card every parent would want to see. It was a straight A report card. I was going to win some prizes because of my marks and blah blah blah blah blah. My mother stood there and she read, she read all the way through it. She looked up at me over the report card and just said, you know, Laura, imagine what you could have done if you'd really tried. Okay. That is a huge message, but we're given that kind of message all the time by our parents, okay? By our a lot of times by teachers, um, coaches, like I mean, like in sports and stuff, where you know, um, this whole idea of we're never good enough because life is a competition, okay, and you've always got to be better than the next guy or the next girl. Okay, that's where that feeling comes from. And one of the best ways to start solving that is to really start being mindful and telling yourself that I'm worthy of rest, I'm worthy of being taken care of. Okay, because that's what meditation is, it's self-care. And this is meditation, it is part of a greater bubble, which I call self-care. Self-care is the most important thing in this world today, because we have to deal with, I don't have to go into great detail, we have to deal with all this stuff going around around us in our personal lives, and then all the stuff that's going on in the world right now, which makes it even more imperative. Okay, so if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're not doing self-care, you're gonna be a mess. There's just no two ways about it. Self-care used to be optional, as my guides say now. Self-care is an absolute imperative because you won't make it right, seriously. Why do you think the levels of anxiety are just like peaking? Why do you think the suicide rates are so high? Why do you think people are having and I'm gonna tell you right now that I believe, let me preface this first. These things like ADHD and uh attention deficit syndrome and uh all these, there's a couple of them neuro neurodivergent, yeah. There's all kinds of things going on. I believe there are some instances where there's actually a chemical deficiency, okay, in the brain. There's no question. There always has been a small group like that, but this huge explosion is the only word I can say. This huge, especially in adults, okay, adult ADD is caused by environmental factors, and it's caused by the fact that we're not taking care of ourselves because we're under so much stress and so much pressure, and a lot of that is what we it is put on to us by the world, but it's also we're putting it on ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Wow.

unknown 25:27

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

So self-care can actually uh can actually cure, definitely bring the volume of it down, but in some cases actually cure those problems. Because if you have a chemical issue, then that's one thing. But if it's brought on by environmental issues, that's something that's totally solvable.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Right. Now I'm surprised uh uh there's still a lot of people when they hear the term self-care, they think massages, they think buying it, eating that way.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

Well, I'm not gonna say no, treat it yourself, and and actually the one that you happen to mention, massage, is actually a really good one, okay? Um, but when you I know a lot of especially women, they'll talk about bubble baths and and manicures and pet petties and all that. That's great, okay, but that's not really treating yourself, it's great because that's it again, it sends a message to you. I'm worthy, okay. But if that's all you're doing, it doesn't even start going deep enough. Okay. One of the main things is meditation. Massage is another one because what massage really does is it gives you that tactile sense. Okay, there's so many people right now that are emotionally meant and mentally unhealthy because nobody ever touches them. We went through COVID, right? And it was like all this thing is oh, you can't get near anybody, you can't touch anybody, you can't hug anybody, okay? It was bad enough before that. Now it's put everybody into that frame, and we never really got out of it, okay? Yeah, it also a big factor in loneliness. So masa, and and the other thing is it helps to get um we store a lot of negative energies in our muscles and our joints. So massage is one good way of getting it out. The other forms of self-care are activity, and I I don't exercise, but I'm not talking about spending two hours in the gym, you know, every day. Right. I'm talking about movement. I and actually the best movement there is walking is great, um, yoga is great. Uh, anything like tai chi, uh uh qigan, dance, okay. Anything that's stretching and moving your body. Okay, that's another good thing. The other thing is simply what I call contemplation time, which is just you know, sitting, having a cup of tea, looking out the window, um, writing in a journal, uh, watching a sunset, uh, you know, all these things, taking a walk in the forest, like the Japanese like to call it forest bathing, which I love by the way, uh, being out in nature, it's super important, being out in nature, super, super important. So, all these things are real self-care because they're they have an energetic uh component to them.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

The pamper stuff is great if you want to mix that in, because again, that says to yourself unconsciously and consciously, I'm important. Okay, right. Um the other thing is being in or around water, super important, okay. Um, showers as opposed to baths, okay. Being in the ocean if you can, if not, a swimming pool would be so you wait, come back.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

You said showers as opposed to bath, because I always thought that bath was a more no okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

I'm gonna explain to you, it's an energetic thing, okay? Okay, from an energetic, see uh being a psychic and being a sensitive is all about everything's about energy, okay? Everything is about energy, and the thing about a shower is a shower not only goes helps the energetic balance of your physical body, the shower actually, you know, everybody has like an aura, which is probably the easiest way to describe it. You have energy bodies, you have like seven energy bodies at least all around you, your physical body. So not only does the water cleanse your physical body, it also goes through water, is the most powerful thing on this planet. Okay, we're just starting to really understand that, and the water actually goes through your energetic bodies as well, cleaning out all those negative, um, negative energies and balancing your your um your energy bodies. The problem with a bath, okay, is water water actually pulls negative energy out of your body. Also, on a physical level, it also pulls out toxins out of your body. Okay. The problem with being in a bath is you're literally sitting and soaking in your own negative energy and your own toxins that have come out of your body.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

So when you have like a cleansing bath, like uh uh Epsom salts or uh essential oils, I always say to people, you should not be soaking in that tub any longer than 10 minutes. Okay, 10 minutes, soak in the Epsom salts or the uh essential oils, whatever you're using for your cleansing ritual. Pull the plug, stand up, shower off. Okay, that's very important. If you have any kind of bath at all, even just a regular bath, a bubble bath or whatever, you should always be pulling the plug at the end, draining the water, stand there and shower off. Because then you are showering off that negative energy and those negative toxins that you've actually re-deposited on your body by sitting in the bathtub.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

Right. So that's spiritual and even and physical.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

It's physical and energetic.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Energetic. Is there a difference between energies and spirit?

SPEAKER_02 31:42

No, that's why that's why I keep saying everything is energy. When you talk about spirit, spirit is energy. Okay, the universe is energy, everything's energy. Okay, they're interchangeable.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Okay, I just want to make sure because when I said spirit, you correct me. I said, so yeah, I just wanted to make sure. I'm like, is there a difference? Let me know.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

So I don't know how to use it. But I want, but people don't understand. See, this is why when you talk about spiritual and spirituality, a lot of people go like this, okay? Right. But if you talk about energy, and people go, oh, okay. The same thing. This is part of the it this is part of the thing that a lot of people don't understand. We talk about spirits, it's energy, everything is energy.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

Right. So going back, because my platform, we're talking, like I said, I talk about toxic relationships, healing from them, whether they're family, friends, or romantic partners, right? And so you brought up something when you brought up your mom, and you know, that whole idea of conditioning, you know, um, I can't remember his name. He says we've been domesticated, we've been trained to think and behave in a lot of ways, and it all comes from the people that we were born up under because we come here a blank slate. How do you go back and using your intuition, using the energy, all those things to deal with and clear yourself of those toxic energies that came from people? Well, is that even a uh the right question I'm asking?

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Well, it's a complicated, it's a complicated question, okay? Okay, because the reason that your parents put that crap on you is because somebody put that crap on them, okay? Right, it's a generational thing, right? And from an energy point of view, from a spiritual point of view, okay. I I want you to take those two words uh interchangeably, okay. From an energy point of view, um, people think DNA is simply chemical, or they don't know, okay. Um, they've and this has been proven now by science, we've known this spiritually for thousands of years, but DNA is actually energetic. Okay, and the way these things, the the most some of it is your idea of domestication, what we're heard and what we've heard and what we've been taught, but even a more powerful thing that transfers those things from one generation to the next is literally in your DNA. Okay, if you've ever heard anybody talk about ancestral karma, that's another way of describing it. That ancestral karma means the stuff that you've energetically been given in your DNA for past generations in your lineage, both on your mother's side and your father's side. Okay, so that's right in your DNA energetically. So you have to go. There's a there's a number of different ways to heal those things, okay? There's energy healing, there's uh a lot of the self-care that we've been talking about. Uh, because the biggest underlying one that goes through generation to generation is this feeling of unworthiness or not being good enough, okay. Those sound like the same thing, but they're actually different. Okay. Um because worthiness refers to your actual worth as a being. Okay, not being good enough refers to um anything you do not being up to par. You see that I know they're kind of intertwined, but they're not exactly the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

So worthiness is more inherent. I I don't know if I'm using the words right.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Is more inherently see, okay. Let me give you the you are worthy simply because you have incarnated on this planet, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:58

Okay, right.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Your your worthiness is intrinsic, right? Okay, but we've been taught that that we're not, even some religions. Okay, I I'm probably gonna take some flack for this, but I'm just gonna go here anyway.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

The last example I can give you is Christianity because there's a belief in, especially in um uh Catholicism, there's a belief in uh what's the term they use? Um, original sin. You were born a sinner, okay? How much less worthy could you be than being told over and over again that you came into this world as a sinner, so you're basically a piece of garbage. Yeah, because that's what that's really saying. Because in the religion, a sinner is the lowest of the low. So, what they're really saying to you is you're the lowest of the low when you're born, and you have to earn the right to be welcomed by God, okay. And there's some other religions uh too that have similar things within them, okay? Um, but that that's what I'm talking about worthiness. So, what this is saying to people is you're not even worthy to be here from the get-go, and that is the exact opposite of the truth, right? Because when you're born into this world, you are you are a child, if I can I'll put it in the same language, you are a child of God, you are you are you were made in God's image, so therefore, i.e. you are God. Okay. So how much more worthy could you be than being a particle of God? You see?

SPEAKER_00 37:52

I heard a Jewish rabbi say before, you know, and he was talking about the difference of us Christians being born as sinners, but with the Jewish people, they're born as the chosen ones, the chosen people. So they don't have that same well.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

Let me clarify too, not all Christians, because there's a lot of denominations. There's a lot of Christians that do not believe, actually, I think all of Protestant Protestantism, but this is where the split came, believe does not believe in a ritual sin.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

Uh I think it's actually I just wanted because I'll have people going we don't believe in that, we don't believe in that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Right, right. Thank you for the right.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

But the the pre the premise of that is is what is what um is what really you know, and it's not just in in that Catholicism, it's it's the idea that we have to earn our status, okay?

SPEAKER_01 38:59

Right.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

And there's a lot of people that believe that that and belief systems where you have to earn your status as a good person, okay? Right. And women, especially in our society, have been told from practically the second they're born that their whole purpose, they're not worthy in of themselves, they are here to serve and help everybody else, everybody, everybody else. Everybody else, to their own detriment. Okay, to their own detriment. That they don't matter, the whole reason they're here is to serve everyone else. Now, if that's not being taught to be unworthy, I don't know what it is. Yeah, you see, yeah, so there's all different, there's all different, and I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna turn this around because there's also a male, uh, there's a lot of men in our society who have been taught that if they are not a wonderful provider, both financially and from a uh uh an aspect of being protector of the family, if they're not that, then they're worthless. Yeah, that that is their only worth, is by you know providing for the family, and intrinsically, if you extend that, they don't have any other worth, okay? So it's not just, but I I do see it more strongly in women as opposed to men, but it is different, and there's a lot of men who have such low self-esteem because they don't see themselves as being successful, and from a male point of view, they've been brainwashed to believe if they're not financially and career and family successful, then they're not worthy, you see. So it's it's a double-edged sword, right?

SPEAKER_00 40:59

So you gave us some things and um to turn it around. We talked about meditation, we talked about self-care. Um, you have to remind me what else I didn't take notes.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Energy healing is a wonderful way. Um and uh what else? Did I miss something?

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Yeah, well, I have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

Oh, giving to others. This is this is this is they just brought this up. This is interesting. Giving to others from the heart instead of giving to others because we believe that we have to. Okay, and it just goes back to what I just said. Women are taught that they have to do it because that's their job, okay. Right, men are taught, well, just in different ways. Men are also taught that they have to, it's giving different things. Women are supposed to be the supporters, the emotional, you know, looking after people's physical needs, cooking, caring, all those things. That's the woman's thing, and the men's thing is the financial, the career, the taking care of the protecting the family, all that. Um, now this is predominantly from a Western developed point of view. This doesn't include the whole world, but that's basically who we're talking to. So, you know, so instead of doing it because you feel that you have to, that's what you're supposed to do, because that's what you've been told to do, start doing it because that's what you want to do, that's what you feel is your thing. Okay, there's a very different energy between those two things.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

So, would you would that suggest if you don't feel like it for whatever reason, don't force yourself to give in those areas to well, okay.

SPEAKER_02 42:49

Yeah, uh the thing is you have to realize that it's like love, okay? If you don't love yourself, you can't truly love anyone else. Okay, that's not just a saying, that's absolutely true. Right, it's the same thing with giving. If you're not giving to yourself, feeding to your feeding yourself, you can't give to anyone else. So, what you're talking about is these people that um givers, givers, givers, givers, givers to their own detriment. Okay, that's not truly giving. That's giving because you think you have to give, and that's over giving. Okay, you don't have to be everything, and it's gotten worse for women. Okay, I'm gonna just gonna put this in there. The reason is is we're men's in the western world, men's role hasn't. I don't care who says to the difference, it really hasn't changed on a on a general scale. Women's role, not only okay, so now after the, you know, I I I get in trouble for this too, after the women's movement, okay. Women think that we've come so far. That's not true. Okay. If you really look at what's happened, we've actually in some ways made it worse for ourselves. Because now back in the day, a woman was supposed to be a great mother, a great wife, and look after the house. That was it. Okay. Now a woman is supposed to be an incredible, uh, incredible mother, uh, go out and have and have a incredible household, go out and have a career and make tons of money, be uh an incredible sexy wife, uh, be absolutely perfect looking, okay, and be uh be all and end all to her community, like really, like you know, one person do all of that, exactly. And and you know, and there's this, this is one of the other biggest lies to women, you can have it all. Okay, sorry, again, this is like that magic pill, right? Okay, no, you can't have it all, you can have a lot, but you can't have it all because you can't do all those things 100%. There's just no way you die, right? Well, that's why that's why women are so burnt out and so fed up and so angry because they've been trying to be everything to everybody, it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_00 45:29

Well, what do you say to the women that have I mean?

SPEAKER_02 45:33

I'm not saying that you can't have these things, right? But you cannot be there's no way you can do all these things to the level that you want to do them and survive, it's just impossible. So is that the mindset mindset shift that needs to happen in order to that's the mind because what have what really has to happen is women have to sit down, and it's gonna be different for everyone, okay? There is no one size fits all. You have to, as a woman, you have to sit down and decide what is really important to you, right? Okay, okay, and you also have to have a partner, okay, because men's expectations have become ridiculous. All those things I just chimed on, men now expect that, okay. Not only all the traditional things, but they also expect their wives to be having you know premier careers, you know, making um close to as much, in some cases more money than they do, right? And uh yet and also be this sex goddess in the bedroom. I'm sorry, no, it's not happening, it's not happening, okay. So you have to decide, and you know, and the same thing. I think one of the biggest decisions for men and women these days, and this is what's wrong with our society, is why we're having these breeding these ridiculously uh uh ill-functioning adults. You have to make some I've seen people put more thought in thought process into deciding what kind of car they want than whether they should or should not have children.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:25

If you decide that you want to have children, there's gonna be sacrifices to the the other parts of your life. If you're gonna be raising these children to be good adults, there's like that again, this was the myth of having it all, okay? And I'm talking about both from the male side and from the female side, okay. If you really want children and you want to really raise them properly, there's no way that you can do this, all this stuff that we're doing now. Have two people with two high-power uh careers, not gonna happen. And I don't care who, I think both people, in terms of their careers, are gonna have to make sacrifices because to raise a child properly, you need both mother and father, yeah, or people who are taking on those roles and same-sex relationships, same thing. Both parents have to be involved with raising that child, so that means that both parents are gonna have to make sacrifices, they're gonna have to make sacrifices in their careers, they're gonna have to make sacrifices in their own personal interests, okay, because they can't be doing all these hobbies and all these things that don't involve their children. I I don't mean they can't do anything, but they certainly can't do things to the level that people are trying to do it now, right?

SPEAKER_00 48:54

Well, let's speak to the single woman for a moment, because a lot of things that you're saying, you're saying it with partners, and you know, there are a lot of women out here, even as myself, that are not married, don't have a partner. Um, and yet we have all these needs to take care of, but it's so much and it's overwhelming. Where do we start?

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Where do where do the other what are you talking about in terms of needs?

SPEAKER_00 49:21

Are you talking about your personal needs or your financial personal needs or I mean, even both with the you have well? Let's take me out then. The one that has young children but has to go out okay, okay, and have this career to take care of because yeah, who else is doing?

SPEAKER_02 49:39

Well, therein lies a problem. Okay, in the future, and that's not too distant future. I'm gonna just go here for a minute and then I'll I'll get back directly to you. Your question in the future, one of the biggest changes that I can see happening for the human race is the way we raise children, okay? Because this whole idea of being a single parent, and I don't care whether you're a single mother or a single father raising children, because there's a lot of single, there's a lot more single fathers now than there ever used to be before. Usually it was all single women, okay, but this problems are equally the same for both, okay. Um, and it's it's exacerbated by the fact that you know there's that saying that it takes a village to raise a child, because we don't we no longer have those, or most people no longer have all those multi-generational support systems and compute community support systems. This is why it's so difficult, okay, for single parents to be raising children because not only they're basically doing it on their own.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Right.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

Okay. So in the future, I see us going back to more of like the the only thing I can uh compare it to is like the tribal uh idea of when you know you had a mother, a father, aunts, uncles, grandparents, uh the tribe, okay, uh, the community that helped you raise your children. Okay, there was no such thing as even a even a couple on their own raising children, okay. There was always all these multi-dimensional, multi-um-generational family members, as well as their community, whatever that looked like. Okay. So, what I'm saying to single parents is if you want to lighten your load, if you want to have better kids, if you want to raise them, give them more, and raise them the way you want to, you have to find ways of doing that. Building that support structure around yourself because you can't on your own, nobody can do that on their own without some kind of support structure. So there's a bunch of different ways about going uh going at that. If you don't have a family around you, you have to look at building a non-blood family, and I can tell you from my own experience, the non-blood family often is better than your blood family. So I'm just saying, yeah, you get so actually that's a good way of looking at it. Your family of choice, okay. So for all single parents out there, I would suggest that you start doing everything you can to start building a family of choice because it's not gonna only help your children, it's gonna help you, okay? That's the big thing. The other thing is knowing that giving yourself permission um not to be everything to everyone because you you can't be everywhere, okay? And you have to make some really hard decisions. What is most important to me? What am I willing to sacrifice in order to raise my kids the way I want to raise them? Okay, and I'm gonna tell you right now, it's not about money.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Right.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

This is where so many people get, you know, they think, oh, I've got to make more money to give my kids this and give my kids that. You know what? Raising good kids is not about money. Once you've got the roof over their head, clothes on their back, and food in their bellies, what's really important is the time you spend with your children. And again, it doesn't have to involve money, you know, taking your kids to the park, going for walks, riding bikes, you know, it's the time, you know, watching special television programs with them. Okay, and I'm not talking about regular TV, I'm talking about like educational things and and good stuff, okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:44

Um one way I like to spend time with my boys is we we create a meal together. It's one thing to eat together, but usually perfect, perfect.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 53:55

Yeah, excellent way to spend time with them.

SPEAKER_02 53:58

Yeah, yeah, one of the biggest things that has sort of disappeared with families these days is reading bedtime stories. Yes, yes, it's huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, okay. Um, that time we're talking about quality time, and this is as a single parent, you know this. I know you know this. It's it's defining quality time versus hours, okay? Because hours doesn't there's a lot of people who spend time with their kids, but if it's not quality time, it doesn't matter. You you might as well so if you've got only got so much time because you're working and you've got to do all these other things when you're a single parent because you don't have a partner, make sure that the time you are spending with your kids is really high quality time. Okay, because you can make an hour with your kids turn into three or four hours of actual value, okay? But if you're just doing nothing, yeah, and you know, create you know, even taking your kids out shopping, okay, grocery shopping, you can turn taking your kids grocery shopping into quality time.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

We played by teaching your kids things, by uh there's so many different ways, like you have to get creative, okay? Yeah, and when it comes to work, you have to look at okay. I've talked, I've talked to they're bringing this up. I've talked to a lot of single pairs, both male and female, who think that they have to get a second job or a side hustle in order to get more money to buy these things that they think their kids should have. Okay, and I'm gonna tell you right now, you'd be better off spending quality time with your kids than having being away from them, having a second job to buy these things that you think they need, which they really don't, right? Okay, and I know that's hard for some to hear because it is hard, it is hard, even though it's hard, but that is so much brainwashing, okay? Yeah, that's like keeping up with the Joneses. That's like like really be, you know, really? Does your kid need a $300 pair of Nikes? Right. Okay, really? No, they don't, okay. Um they just need a good called pair of sneakers and they need to do take that money and do something educational for them or do something fun with them, take them on a camping trip. I don't, you know, whatever your thing is, and whatever your kids are interested in, or spend that money to actually do something like having them in sports, if that's what they really want to do. Instead of buying the $300 pair of sneakers, use that money to get them actually playing a sport, right? Yeah, you know, that kind of thing. So that's that's what single parents have to those two things creating a support and a community around yourself, and really evaluating what's most important for your kids.

SPEAKER_00 57:22

All right. Now I want to take a minute to bring this back home because I know we started one way going towards tapping into your authenticity, and we're here at single parents. And I know it to some listeners, I know it's gonna sound like these are totally different things and that we're all over the place. However, I also understand that tapping into your authenticity actually helps you on this back end of what we're talking about as being a lot of I know a lot of women who feel like they can't, oh, and we'll say single parents. I know a lot of parents that feel like they can't be and do certain things with their children because they have these beliefs and they're operating in this masked version of themselves that's not them.

SPEAKER_02 58:13

Exactly. And I'm gonna tell you when when it comes to children, this is this is so spiritual slash energetic. Okay, children do not learn things by what you tell them, okay, children learn by your example, exactly. Okay, so if you want well-rounded, balanced, authentic children, guess what? You have to be authentic, and I can tell you right now, there is no better gagger Geiger counter of authenticity than children, yeah, okay. Where you can put those masks on and fool adults and everything like that, I can tell, especially young children, okay, under the age of seven years old, okay. Yeah, you cannot fool a kid. And if you're walking around pretending you're somebody you're not, I can tell you right now, the first one that knows that is your kid. Yes, yes, okay, and what and and then think about what you're teaching them, okay, yeah, and that's confusing them, and that's making them think that that's what they have to do in order to be accepted, liked, and loved. Not only by people outside, but the really scary part is by you.

SPEAKER_00 59:44

By you, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

That's where all the toxic relationships begin.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

Exactly. That is exactly that's well. I'm gonna tell you something. We started, we touched on the the whole idea of uh our um ancestral karma at the very beginning, and so many people want they ask me how to break this ancestral karma. The way you break ancestral karma, you break that chain, generational chain, is by healing yourself. Yes, yes, and the wonderful spiritual, energetic truth about that is if you break the chain by healing yourself, you actually heal at least seven generations back, generation, yes, seven generations forward. So there's nothing if you think about it this way, there's no bigger gift to your children than healing yourself, okay? Because if you heal yourself, you also heal them and their children and their children's children and on and on and on, okay. So you make it so that they don't have to go through as an adult all the things that you've gone through because they came from your okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:09

So I can't think of a better gift to give a beloved child than that gift, yeah, and to love yourself, to heal yourself, to heal yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Well, heal yourself is part loving yourself, is healing yourself is part of loving yourself, yes, yep, and that's what people don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:30

Yeah, yeah. Well, we've been kind of all over the place, and it's been a great conversation. I'm definitely gonna have to have you back because there's some other things that I did want to talk about, but we're running out of time here, you know, it's like I said, it's like it's like Laura 2.0, yes, Laura 2.0, yes. So um, I want to thank you. Um with any closing statements, what would you if you could leave, if you can give one message to every woman out here trying to heal, grow, and figure life out, what would you want her to know right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

Start the journey because it is a journey, start the journey to uh discovering your authentic self. Because that journey will change your entire life. Anything and everything, all the problems and things swirling around you and the kids and not knowing this, oh I can't remember who said it. If you're uh I'm gonna paraphrase because this is I wish I could remember the exact quote. If you don't know what to do, work on yourself. Okay, so if you're feeling lost, confused, and not knowing where you start with working on yourself. Because that is the path to finding out all those other things.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:00

That's good. That's good. So if anybody wanna work wants to work with you, how will they find you?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:07

Well, easy ways. Number one, you can check, which is www.spirit speaks to the number two.me, or you can email me directly at uh laurahorwig at gmail.com. That's really easy. Um, I'm all over Facebook, I'm on Instagram, I'm on X, and I'm sure that our lovely horse uh hostess, horse, hostess, sorry, babe, uh, Dory is gonna put all my links in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:39

Every single one. I'm gonna put everyone in the show notes. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:43

I just noticed it's so cute. Your your microphone actually matches your hair, at least on my screen. At least on my screen.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

No, I it is purple along with my nails. It's like I try to, I don't want to be the crazy purple lady, but it looks like it's going that way. So well, thank you, Laura. I appreciate all your wisdom and knowledge that you shared with us today. And like I said, I'll make sure that everyone has your contact information for those that want to work with you and definitely look forward to talking with you again. Um, with that being said, I want to thank everyone for listening to Don't Ask Me Shit, where the truth might be uncomfortable, but it will set you free if you're willing to do the work. If something you heard today hit home, sit with it, process it, and decide what you're going to do next. Please do not run. Do not run. Sit with it, process it, and decide what you're gonna do next. And remember, you can always ask Coach Dory, but if you're not willing to do the work, don't ask me shit. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone who needs the real conversation in their life, and we will see you the next time. Bye.