Square Peg, Round Hole

In tonight's episode, Shane and Rose meet at restaurant for a date...and a tough conversation.

Cast: 

Shane Hollander: Natalie Joy
Rose Landry: Lizzie Friedman

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Welcome to Radio Rivalry, the brand new podcast for loons, by loons, that asks, what if Heated Rivalry was a 1920s-style radio play with music and sound effects, where each episode is a different scene (or two) from the Heated Rivalry limited series and each episode features a different cast of wolfbirds? 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:10

This is Radio Rivalry, a production for loons by loons. The title of tonight's episode is Square Peg Round Hole, starring Shane Hollander. Rose Landry. Our scene opens with Shane arriving to a restaurant for a dinner date with Rose.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

You're so cute. Have I told you how cute you are?

SPEAKER_00 0:46

No. I mean, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Well, you are. Miles is extremely jealous. Of me? No, of me.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Did you not notice that Miles was gay?

SPEAKER_00 1:07

I I guess I hadn't really thought about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Well, he is, and he's low-key in love with you. Oh. Does it surprise you that Miles is gay?

SPEAKER_00 1:21

No. I mean, of course not, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Well, a lot of actors are. They're just not all out. Are there any like gay hockey players? I mean, obviously there are, but are there any openly gay players?

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Yeah, no. I mean, yeah, there are probably gay players or whatever, but none that have said it publicly.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Sorry, I don't I don't think I'm going about this the right way. Um about what? I really like you, Shane.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I like you too.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

But I have a feeling that maybe I'm not doing it for you.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Yes, you are.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Well, I know you like talking to me.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Yeah?

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Do you like kissing me? Sure.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Wow. No. No, of course I do. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Oh, hey, don't apologize. I just. I have a feeling, and maybe I'm completely off base here, but I don't know. I feel like maybe you'd rather be kissing Miles. Hey, it's okay. It's really okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

It's not. I do like you. I really do. I like talking with you. I like being with you. I like all of it. I know the sex stuff is uh a problem.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

It's not a problem. A problem is something that you can fix. We're more like a square peg and a round hole. No, I'm sorry, forget I said that. Um we're just we're not meant to fit, and it's really fine. I just don't think that we can keep trying.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

I get it.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I just um I think um I think hey, you don't owe me any explanation.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

I feel like I kind of do. You really don't.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Can I ask if you ever been with another guy? Have you ever told anyone that before? Was it different with the guy? Of course. Was it better?

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Yeah, it was um uh it was better. Um the thing is, I kind of prefer being the whole rather than the peg.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Wow. That is the best thing any gay boyfriend of mine has ever told me. Oh, you've had other? Oh, I was in theater school. Like 70% of my boyfriends have left me for other gods.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

70%.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Actually, 80%.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

You should follow Miles back on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

No. I mean, not no, but I I just need to sort some things out first.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Of course. And I was kidding about Miles, but he totally would, like, in a heartbeat.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

You haven't said anything to him, have you?

SPEAKER_01 5:38

No, definitely not, and I never will. Let's be friends.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

No, seriously, not some bullshit let's stay friends thing. Let's be real friends, like the best friends.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

I really like you, Shane. You're secretly one of the funniest guys I know.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Well, that secret you don't have to keep.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Oh, I will tell everyone. I have a feeling there's not a lot of people you can talk to. I mean, about all the other things and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Things and stuff can be tricky for me.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Text me whenever, okay? I mean it because I will be texting you all the time. I promise. You will wish you never met me. Impossible.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

And theme. I'm Natalie. Tonight I played Shane Hollander, and I have a podcast called Yeeted Rivalry, if you would like to check it out.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

And I'm Lizzie. Tonight I played Rose Landry. You can find my fan account on Instagram at Shane's LittleSocks. That's Lil as N-L-I-L. And I also co-own an independent record store called Culture Clash. You can find us at Culture Clash on Instagram or CultureClash Records.com. And we do have the Heat of Rivalry vinyl and C D available for pre-order, so please pre-order from us if you want to.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

I'm Tiffany Langston. I'm the creator, director, and producer of Radio Rivalry. You can find me on threads, Instagram, and Blue Sky at Tiff Langston. That's our show. Please rate and subscribe wherever you download or stream awesome podcasts. You can find us online at Radiorivalry.com, across social media at Radio Rivalry Pod, and you can send us an email at radiorivalry at gmail.com. We'll be back soon with a whole new scene and a brand new cast. Until then, we'll catch you at the cottage.