Finding My Ikigai (And How I Ended Up Doing This Work)

A slightly more personal episode this time. I step away from the usual topics and talk about how I ended up doing the work I do — from massage and bodywork to coaching and connection. I explore the idea of ikigai, what it feels like to find something that genuinely fits, and how naturism, touch, and real human connection shaped that path. If you’ve ever wondered what it means to feel aligned in your work — or how to find it — - or just want to understand me more - this one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Slavic Uncovered Podcast. Alright, so this one might feel a little bit different. Normally I sit down with a fairly clear topic, something practical, something I can break down, and you know, give you something useful to take away. But today I thought I'd just slow it down a bit really. Because I get asked this question quite a lot, sometimes directly, sometimes just sort of implied. Which is how did I actually end up doing this work? I'll explain what that is in a moment. And it's one of those questions that doesn't really have a short answer, and it's best to give the full picture. So this is the longer version. There's a Japanese concept, you may have heard of it, called ikigai, and it's usually translated as something like a reason for being or your life's meaning. And it sounds quite grand when you say it like that, but actually the idea is quite simple. It's the point where four things overlap: what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you can earn from. And when those things come together, something just clicks. Not in a dramatic fireworks kind of way, it's quieter than that. More like a sense that things are in the right place. And I didn't go looking for that really. I didn't sit down with a plan and think, right, I'm going to design a life around this concept. It was much more gradual. It was more like noticing over time that certain things kept drawing me in. The same themes, the same kinds of experiences, the same kinds of people. And eventually you sort of realize you're already standing in it. So, what is it that I actually do? At its core, I'm a massage therapist. That's the simplest way to put it. But alongside that, I've trained in relationship work, counseling, intimacy coaching, and have a master's in linguistics, but that's another story. And I know that on paper that combination can sound a bit unusual. But in reality, it fits together very naturally. Because the body and the mind aren't separate things. We like to pretend they are because it makes things easier to categorize, but they're not. Touch, awareness, emotion, connection, they all overlap all the time. And I think once you start working in bodywork, you stop seeing those boundaries as clearly as you once did. And the honest truth is, I just love it. Not in a polished, this sounds good on a website sort of way, but properly. I love the work itself. I love naturism, I love helping people feel more at ease in themselves. I love the way touch can shift something quite deep, sometimes without a single word being spoken. I enjoy helping couples learn to massage each other and connect. And I think when you genuinely enjoy something like that, it changes how you show up. There's a particular state I find myself in when I'm working, and this is quite difficult to describe, but I'll try. Your attention becomes very focused, but not tense. Quite the opposite, actually, it's calm. And your hands are doing what they need to do based on what you're feeling in your heart, rather than what you think you should be doing. And when that happens, everything else sort of fades into the background. Time feels slightly different, quieter, and there's a sense, quite a strong one, that you're exactly where you're meant to be. Now, one of the biggest influences on how I work and how I see people actually came from something quite simple, naturism. Because when you spend time in naturist environments, something shifts. At first, of course, you notice bodies, everyone does, that's normal. But after a while you stop evaluating. You see all kinds of bodies, different ages and stages, shapes and size, proportions, and it just becomes ordinary, human. And that has quite a profound effect. Because most people carry a kind of tension that isn't just physical, it's in how they hold themselves, dress, sound, look, how aware they are of being seen. All those layers of expectation that build up over years. Media, culture, upbringing, all of it. And then gently that starts to fade. I remember a client saying to me once, afterwards, I thought I'd feel awkward the whole time, but after a few minutes, I completely forgot about it. And then they paused and said, I just felt free. And that's exactly it. That's the space I try to create. There's no ideal body, there's no comparison. It's just your body as it is right now. And that's enough. Now, when people think about massage, they usually think in quite practical terms. Muscles, tension, knots. And yes, that's absolutely part of it, but it's not the whole story. Because when someone lies down on a table, they're doing something quite rare. They're choosing to let go, even if only slightly. And that small moment of trust opens something. Some people talk during a session, quite a lot sometimes. Others don't say a word. Both are completely fine. But either way the body responds. And occasionally someone will say something afterwards like, I didn't expect that to affect me the way it did. And that's usually because the body processes things differently to the mind. It's not mystical, it's just what happens when the body finally gets a chance to be heard. Over the years I've trained in different places India, the UK, Poland, and all of that blends into how I work now. So instead of following one fixed style, it's more about adapting to the person in front of me. Sometimes that means something quite structured, like Swedish massage, which is, you know, very reliable and effective. Sometimes it's slower, softer, relaxing massage. More about calming the nervous system than fixing anything. Sometimes heat comes into it, hot stones for example, and the body softens much more quickly. And then there are things people don't expect, like chocolate massage or even CBD oil, which sounds indulgent, and it is, but it's also genuinely beneficial for the skin, and it adds a sensory element that people tend to really enjoy. And then there's the area that people often misunderstand the most, tantric-inspired body work. In my approach, it's not about anything exaggerated or theatrical. It's about awareness, connection, energy in the body, discovery. And it's always grounded in professionalism and clear boundaries, because without that, it loses its value entirely. Another area that surprises people a bit is the online work. And I get it, massage online sounds a bit odd at first. But it's not about replacing hands-on work, it's something different. The focus there is mostly on couples, teaching them how to massage each other properly. Not just a quick back rub, but something intentional, something that actually feels good and meaningful for both people. Because life gets busy and physical connection can drift quietly without anyone really noticing. And learning how to touch each other well, with presence, with confidence, is actually one of the simplest ways to reconnect. And doing it at home helps. No unfamiliar environment, no pressure, just the two of you learning something together. Now, something else that's quite important to me is that I don't do this alone. Sometimes I work alongside my partner. And that changes the atmosphere in a way that's quite hard to fake. Because when both people genuinely enjoy what they do, it becomes more natural, more human. It was amazing when we both met and happened to have books on massage. We both had the same direction and loves. We work with individuals, with couples, with people from all sorts of backgrounds. And every person brings something different, which means it never becomes routine. And one thing we've both noticed is that not everything people carry lives in the body. Sometimes they just need to talk. Not in a formal clinical way, just to be heard properly. And those moments can be just as valuable as anything physical. Some of the most meaningful visits we've had are the ones where someone comes back, sits down, has a cup of tea, and just talks about life. No agenda, no structure. And I think that's something people underestimate. How powerful it is to feel genuinely listened to. Now, there's one thing I come back to quite often, because I think it matters. This work is a privilege. Meaningful, respectful touch is actually quite rare in everyday life. So when someone trusts you enough to relax, to let go, that's something to honor. There's always a moment where things shift. The breathing slows, the body settles, everything becomes quieter. Someone once said to me, I think I drifted somewhere else for a while. And that's okay. That's usually a very good sign. And I'll be honest, I find it calming too. There's a rhythm to it, something steady, repetitive. In a strange way, it's not that different from stroking a cat or a dog. There's something naturally soothing about that kind of contact. At a certain point it felt right to start teaching as well, passing it on. So now we run courses for individuals, for couples, practical, hands-on, totally accredited, and certificates and everything. And what's interesting is that, for couples especially, it often becomes more than just learning a skill. It improves communication, confidence, connection. And for individuals, sometimes it opens up an entirely new path. Because you can teach technique, but you can't teach presence and attitude. And people feel the difference straight away. One client once said to me, it felt like you were listening, not just doing a routine. And I really like that because that's exactly what I'm aiming for every time. And the reason I still love this work is because it never becomes mechanical. Every person is different, every session is different, and the changes that happen are often small, subtle, but very real. So when I look at everything together, the training, the naturism, the therapy work, teaching, working with my partner, it all fits naturally, without forcing it. And that's quite rare. Because we live in a world that's fast and noisy and slightly disconnected. And this kind of work offers something very different. A pause, a reset, a chance to actually feel something again. And whether someone comes for relaxation, curiosity, learning, or something they can't quite name, my role is quite simple. To create a space where they can just be themselves. And in doing that, I get to live something that feels aligned, genuine, quietly meaningful. And yeah, that's how I know this is my ikigai. And if there's one thing I'd leave you with, it's this. You don't have to figure everything out all at once. But if something keeps pulling you in a certain direction, it might be worth paying attention to. Alright, we'll leave it there for today. Next time we'll go back to something a bit more structured. But for now, keep being you and keep growing and evolving to be the best authentic version of yourself you can be. I hope this episode gave you something to think about. If you'd like to go deeper for more personal and adult conversations, videos, and photos, find me on Patreon, Vimeo, and other well known places. Take care and stay connected to your natural self.