Wait What!? with Aimee Mayo
If you love funny Southern storytelling like Theo Von and a podcast that feels like comedy, confession, and therapy rolled into one— hit songwriter and bestselling author Aimee Mayo talks about family dysfunction, Southern childhood chaos, fame, trauma, motherhood, marriage, mental health, and all the things people whisper about but never say out loud.
The unhinged decisions that made perfect sense at the time. The stuff most people take to the grave, but Aimee talks about into a microphone.
Some episodes are just Aimee. Some are guests with stories so wild they feel made up. Either way, every conversation is honest, emotional, and impossible to stop listening to.
One minute you are laughing at something you probably should not be laughing at, and the next you feel seen in ways you did not expect.
It is about the moments in life that make you say "wait, what?" because the craziest stories are the true ones. For listeners who want real people, real chaos, and big laughs, there is nothing else like this.
Wait What!? with Aimee Mayo
DNA Surprises and Shocking Family Secrets
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Family secrets, DNA surprises, pet loss, shocking stories and supernatural encounters collide in one conversation. In this episode, Aimee sits down with her mom Becky and uncle Kelly Harwood — artist and owner of Gallery 202 in Franklin, Tennessee — for one of the funniest, most emotional, and wildest family conversations yet.
A DNA test blows the lid off a decades-old secret — their childhood neighbor who lived two doors down their entire lives was actually a secret half-sister. Aimee shares the terrifying night their family stumbled into pure evil in Mississippi.
Aimee describes seeing a glowing angel as a toddler after a near-death experience. Kelly recounts the dream he had the night before his mother died — the moment she spread her wings and said goodbye. Plus embarrassing moments that will make you cry laughing, pet grief, growing up gay in a small Southern town, and why mothers always know.
This episode is funny, heartbreaking, nostalgic, shocking, and deeply human all at once. Follow the show and please leave a review if it moved you.
Cold Open One-Liners
SPEAKER_06Stop flirting with my daddy snowman. People will steal this idea. It's so good.
SPEAKER_01I bet you can't paint this. What if one day you end up at Goodwill and somebody finds your finds you in the painting for half off Wednesdays for $4.99? My chicken's dead. I want out of pity, I think.
SPEAKER_02Congratulations to the flag. And as I said that, I thought it so my god! Mama, where's that woman sitting on my bed? I mean, there's not a woman sitting on your bed.
SPEAKER_00And she puts her hand up and says, You can't go. And then she said, I'm just very tired.
SPEAKER_06Papa Danny comes to see me when it rains.
SPEAKER_01Mothers always know.
SPEAKER_06That's what I think. Mothers always know.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm just glad it's somebody I love. I don't think the church organ is the only one your mother played. Only in Alabama.
SPEAKER_06It felt evil. And he felt evil.
SPEAKER_01How was the son she never had?
SPEAKER_06Let me out of this damn box.
Meet The Family Behind The Mic
SPEAKER_06Hey, this is Wait What with Amy Mayo. And my guests today are my Uncle Kelly Harwood, who's a famous artist. He owns a gallery, Gallery 202 in Franklin, Tennessee. And this is my beautiful mom, who like she's an amazing artist too. And she sells some of her collages at Gallery 202. Her name's Becky. But we're doing just talking about our family and growing up and crazy
Hawaii Jealousy And Kid Logic
SPEAKER_06stories. One of my favorite stories, like with the kids, happened in Hawaii. Mom knows what it is with Oscar at that Starbucks. We went to this Starbucks, and mom and me were standing there. I had a double stroller. So anybody could see we had, you know, we had kids. And Chris was in front of me, and like this girl was just being so flirty. And so, I mean, she was just being so flirty. And I was standing there with mom, like right behind Chris, like looking at her, like, what is wrong with you? So then I told mom, I said, um, somebody needs to tell that hoe to quit flirting with my husband. So then we went back to the table and got the kids out of the stroller and everything. And I looked at Oscar and he looked at me, and then he just marched up to the counter and up to that girl that had been flirting. And he's like, Stop flirting with my daddy, snowman.
SPEAKER_05Because of the ho ho ho. Oh, that's funny. He's he took the he heard ho and took snowman from it.
SPEAKER_06It's so cute. Oh, it's one of my favorites. And that was in Hawaii. That was amazing. Kelly has a place in Hawaii, like, and mom and me want to go.
SPEAKER_03Soon. I don't know if you wanted to go.
SPEAKER_06Well, we want to go. We could all go. We gotta go. We need to go. Hawaii is like, I think if somebody like spread my ashes, I would want it to be. There's a little curve in the road, like going, you know where I mean, going up to Lanakai Beach. And like I've thought about that before, that would be if I had to pick
Turning Ashes Into A Painting
SPEAKER_06a place. Are you gonna get cremated or buried?
SPEAKER_01Cremated.
SPEAKER_06Are you cremated? Yes. Me too. I used to think that I was gonna get buried, but no.
SPEAKER_01I want to tell you what I want to have done with my ashes.
SPEAKER_06It's the coolest idea I've ever heard because you told me tell people will steal this idea. It's so good. It's okay. I'll show you. Tell the camera because it's so good.
SPEAKER_01This is what I want to do with my ashes. So I want to have my ashes at a party, and I'm gonna have a blank canvas and paint and brushes, and I want everyone to come up and mix with my ashes in the paint, and then paint a large abstract or a big floral or something with my ashes in it, and it'll be forever into the artwork.
SPEAKER_06But it's a genius idea.
SPEAKER_01But my friend Jim, who manages the gallery, he said, Yeah, but what if one day you end up at Goodwill and somebody buys your buys you in the painting for half off Wednesdays for $4.99?
SPEAKER_06Oh, Kelly, it'd be better than not being anywhere.
Siblings Childhood And Learning To Speak
SPEAKER_06Um, so mom, what's your first memory of Kelly?
SPEAKER_02There's five of us children, and I think all of us are so individually different from each other.
SPEAKER_06Isn't that crazy how siblings, what's your first memory of mom when you were growing up?
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. I can remember like I remember riding on her hip. And she would take me everywhere.
SPEAKER_02We need to say that I was 13 when you were born.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. She would just carry me around. That's crazy. And I she would, I mean, she acted like I was her son.
SPEAKER_06I did. I just treated him like he was my little baby. Well, being 13, it's like some people have a baby. I mean, you actually could.
SPEAKER_01And and let me let me add something. So I couldn't talk plain when I was a little boy.
SPEAKER_06What what did you do?
SPEAKER_01I would I couldn't say sugar, so I said tougher. And of course, our dad named every Dachshund or weenie dog we called back then Sugar. And I could say, Here Tugar, here Tuger. But I couldn't talk plain, so I called Becky Behy.
SPEAKER_06Because Behy.
SPEAKER_01And I actually wrote a little song about that. Remember, yeah.
SPEAKER_06It's beautiful. I love that. Oscar couldn't say his L's and Lola and leave up so he like woa and we buy. Like he always did that. And I was so upset when he when he started talking right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he taught he had a real cute way to talk when he start started learning how to talk.
SPEAKER_06He had to go to speech like at elementary school, and they made me cut his hair. I was so pissed off about the haircut.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful blonde curls. Yes.
SPEAKER_06But that was a good lesson for me that we might not have been in the right school because they had to wear like white tennis shoes like Forrest Gump and then cut their hair off. And then they wanted everybody to talk the same, you know, and put them. Did you just lose like that as you got older? Like how you couldn't, how you would say bet did you did you teach yourself?
SPEAKER_01No, I was in school, elementary school, and uh like a class that would that would correct it, I guess.
SPEAKER_06Oh so mom, what's your first memory of Kelly? Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02Do you have one? It seems like I know one of the the first things that happened, some of our relatives came over. Uh uh, an aunt and some of our cousins. So they wanted to change his diaper. And so they started changing his diaper and they took took it off and cleaned him, and then they started to put his diaper back on. Now these are cloth diapers, you know. Oh my gosh, I'm that old. But anyway, they stuck him with the pen and he just screamed bloody murder, and I was so mad, I just pushed him all out of the way and told him to get back. I'll change his diaper.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that's so sweet. You really were like his mom, his like second mom or whatever.
SPEAKER_02I did.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I love that.
How Kelly Becomes A Painter
SPEAKER_06Kelly, I should have said this earlier. He's an artist, he's a painter.
SPEAKER_01Well, I was always drawing and was really good at it all through elementary and high school. And so I started painting when I was about 20 years old, and I had moved out of the house and moved in with a sweet, uh, beautiful older lady named Betty Smith. She was my landlady. Was that a duplex or beautiful, beautiful, kind of a I guess, um historic home, beautiful duplex. And so my mother uh and I went to a yard sale, which she loved to go to yard sales. And so, I mean, she would jump out of the car before I could stop.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, how much would you love to take her to yard sales today?
SPEAKER_01I would love it.
SPEAKER_06I'd love to take her to the Paris Floyd again, you know it.
SPEAKER_01So we went to this yard sale, and so there was art supplies and paints and brushes and easels and everything. And so I thought, well, I want to buy these. And so I bought some of them, and mother and she started talking and said, Well, we're gonna go on and uh go look for Kelly an apartment. And the that side of the duplex was empty. And so Betty said, Well, wait just a minute. I'm thinking about renting this out.
SPEAKER_06And you were 20?
SPEAKER_01Yes, about 20 years old. And mother gave Betty her telephone number. Well, Betty called Mother later and said, You know, I've been thinking, Kelly was a really nice young man and polite, and I think I want to rent him the place. And mother said, Okay, and how much?
SPEAKER_06It was a nice place to be your age. It was like three bedrooms, two baths, two years, I mean, it was nobody your age lived anywhere like that, especially in Gadsley.
SPEAKER_01And so got that place, and she charged $100 a month.
SPEAKER_06Oh my goodness. And she probably loved having you there for save. Yeah. I remember her.
SPEAKER_01She she was a very talented piano uh teacher, actually. She went to Juilliard and she had two big grand pianos in the back of the you remember that?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I remember it now.
SPEAKER_01She would take a magazine article about Matisse or Degas or Picasso or anybody, Jackson Pollack, and she would tear it out and put it on my screen door and say, I bet you can't paint this.
SPEAKER_05Oh my gosh, I didn't know that, Kelly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and so I would try it, and then we would go out and talk about it, and I would say, Do you want a margarita? I'm gonna make some margaritas, and she'd say, Yeah, I'll have a margarita. And she didn't drink a lot, but we'd have margaritas and discuss the artwork, and she'd say, Turn it upside down. You can see what's wrong with it if you're turning.
SPEAKER_06Oh gosh, you know one thing I've learned painting, you can also see what's wrong with it if you take pictures.
SPEAKER_01I do, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Like for me, I was been trying to do an abstract. I know the n I don't know. I could be doing this wrong because I start with like I start with the name. Is that weird?
SPEAKER_01Yes, it's backwards.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, because like it seems backwards.
SPEAKER_01Then I try to make it over overrides everything.
SPEAKER_06I try to make it match that name.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's that's yeah.
SPEAKER_06I think I don't need to do that.
SPEAKER_01You need a good teacher. Do you know anybody?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I do, but you're too busy to teach me. We've scheduled twice, and you're too busy.
SPEAKER_01I'll do it, I promise.
SPEAKER_06Okay, when?
SPEAKER_01Tomorrow.
SPEAKER_06Like, I probably can do it tomorrow. I know we should all paint. We could do a painting all together, too. We could do our own thing and together.
Pet Ashes Grief And Replacing Flashbacks
SPEAKER_06Yeah, because guess what? You just said that. I would love to do a painting with girlfriend's ashes. Oh, that's sweet. I haven't done anything with them yet. And I was thinking, I just loved her so much. I was thinking this morning, like I hear her voice a little bit sometimes, and I was thinking she's like, let me out of this damn box. Because she's in the box in a bag, and all she ever wanted to be was free to go pee everywhere in the world. You know, that was her biggest dream. Like she would pee 25 times on one walk.
SPEAKER_01That's funny.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it was really crazy.
SPEAKER_01She sent me a video one time when she was upside down peeing on a fence.
SPEAKER_06Yes, she would do a handstand, and I figured out why. It took a while, but I figured out why. Dogs try to do that so they seem bigger than they are.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's true.
SPEAKER_06Like, and then when they when they kick their legs, they're passing so much information. They're telling their age, their sex, if their health. I want to try that. They do so. They like, they just do so much information. It's really crazy. Um, like it's like a resume. So Pee-wee, that was your dog. Yes, he was like my favorite. Like, I've had like a couple favorite dogs that weren't my dog. And Pee-wee was one of them. And Dennis and Laura's dog, Peaches. I love her too. Um, but Kelly told me one of the best things that I've ever heard about losing your dog. Kelly ran over Pee-Wee, who was, you think he might have got behind the wheel because he was so old. She's 17. Yeah, I think Tina, our dog we had a long time ago, I think she might have tried to drown herself in the creek twice. Yeah. Like because she was so old. You know what I mean? But you told me one of the best things I've ever heard about losing your dog. And um, so I found girlfriend, our dog, my favorite dog I've ever had or will ever have. Like, I found her floating in the pool. She'd drown. And it was probably, it was one of the worst moments of my life, definitely in the top two. And so, like, just the shock. And then I just couldn't quit seeing it. You know, I just couldn't quit get it out of my head. Like, I just kept seeing her in the pool because I was because when I walked over there, I I I looked and I'd been looking for her, but not for long, just for a couple minutes. And I looked in the pool and I saw something black, and I walked around a little bit, and then I was like, oh, that's dumb. That's just a trash bag. Like I thought somehow it was a try for some reason. And then I walked around a little more, and then I realized it was her. And that was one of the most shocking moments of my life. And then we tried to give her mouth to mouth for 20 minutes. She was gone when I got her out. But Kelly told me the best thing I've ever heard. Like, if you've lost an animal, and they um especially like if you feel guilty, like he ran over Pee-Wee, and and I feel like I let girlfriend drown because she had fallen in the pool one other time, like that year, but she got out. She was wet and she got out. I feel like I just let her down for not, you know, like there's guilt involved. Chris is the one that let her out. I didn't know she was out, but I'm just great, I'm grateful I didn't let her out, honestly, because I don't know if it would be better to find her or be the one that let her out. Um, because it was nighttime. And he was playing a show, and like we found out while he was playing, and I didn't call or nothing. Like, um, but we didn't show up and they didn't know why. I kept seeing that flash of seeing her in the pool, and Kelly said, You have to stop doing that. You have to make your brain think about something funny or something she did that you loved and force it out of your head. Anytime that flash comes in your head, force it out and think about, and so I did that, and I would think about her doing a handstand, or I would think about she would kick like a rocket, you know, spreading her information everywhere. She wanted everybody to know girlfriend was here. And she, you know, I was thinking, like when dogs are kicking like that, that's kind of like their Facebook and Instagram. They're sharing with everybody, and they get to smell. It is, it's like a dog social media, and they get to smell where all these other dogs, you know, went to the bathroom or whatever.
Embarrassing Moments That Still Echo
SPEAKER_06Okay, I got another question. Kelly, what is your most embarrassing moment? Oh my God.
SPEAKER_01Well, I have a few.
SPEAKER_06Tell tell a couple of them because I want to know. I love this kind of stuff. I love this kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_01One of my most embarrassing moments is when I was on my way to Atlanta, Georgia, and I was driving a delivery vehicle, delivering some artwork. And so I pulled over and I I think I got a McDonald's coffee, and I drank cream and sugar in my coffee. So they didn't give it to me. So I was at McDonald's. At McDonald's. I was already on the interstate, and so I realized it and I have to have my cream and sugar in my coffee. So I pulled over the next exit and I got out and I ran in some kind of little quick mart, zippy mart type thing. And I walked in and I just went over to the coffee area and I got a pack of sugar and one of the little creamers. And I said, Hey, do you mind if I just uh take a cream and sugar for my coffee? And he said, No, no, you must buy a coffee. And I was like, Well, I already have my coffee, and let me just pay you for the coffee and take the cream and sugar. No. He just was very no. And so I'm like, Well, let me just buy this cream and sugar. And he said, No, I uh you you have to buy a coffee to get the cream and sugar. And I said, Well and it was just so complicated, it was very complicated.
SPEAKER_06And it's it's weird.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. And I'm pretty patient, you know, I'm pretty easygoing. Yeah. I guess I was in a pissed-off mood. I don't know. But so I looked at him and I walk up to the counter and I put it down and I said, Let me buy the cream and sugar. And he said, No. And I'm like, fuck. You know, I was just so mad. And I said, you know what? I guess I can cuss on here, Ken.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I cuss. Mama gets on to me, but I don't, I like cussing.
SPEAKER_01So anyway, well, there's no other word. Yeah. So I look at him and I said, you know what? Fuck you. I got so mad, all I wanted was a cream and sugar.
SPEAKER_05And it ain't a big deal.
SPEAKER_01And so, and I was willing to pay for it. Yeah. So anyway, I said, fuck you. And I start storming out the door. Well, the left door is unlocked, the right door was locked, and I ran right into that door. And pushed it. Pushed it hard, ran into it, it was locked. Fell back on my ass. I fell back on my ass, and he's looking at me as close as we are, and he starts laughing and laughing. And I got up and I was mad. And I just looked at him and I started laughing. And he got the cream and sugar and said, That was fucking hilarious. And gives it to me.
SPEAKER_06He gave it to you. Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01That was just kind of embarrassing. Yeah, but I love it. Especially when there's a camera above.
SPEAKER_06I love how it turned out, though. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Do you want to hear the other one?
SPEAKER_06100%.
SPEAKER_01This is really crazy. I don't know if you know this story. So I was probably, remember when I said I moved to Union City?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. When you worked at Goodyear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I moved up there. And I thought, you know, I'm out in the country. There's nothing to do. So I went to Memphis and I was like, I'm gonna find a gay bar and I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna have fun. So it was like a Sunday evening or something, Saturday evening. And I was there at like three or four in the evening. And so I found this bar and I go in and it was like happy hour, and it was just it was packed. And so they had a sign up that said amateur strip contest.
SPEAKER_05Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01I was a lot smaller than I am now. I was fit and muscled up. I said, I can do this.
SPEAKER_06And I don't know anybody here.
SPEAKER_01I don't know anybody. Free drinks. And so, yeah, if you won, you got free drinks and like a hundred bucks or something. And so they started playing something like Macho Man or something stupid. I don't remember the song.
SPEAKER_05And so And were you dancing too?
SPEAKER_01Yes, and so I jump up, I climb up on the bar, and I'm dancing on the bar, walking down the bar. Guys are at the bar with their beers, stepping over their beers, and I'm dancing. I took my shirt off, took my pants off, down to my underwear, and and I'm standing there dancing. And I thought, well, I'm gonna walk the rest of the way down the bar. And I start going that way, and I walked into the ceiling fan.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it hit me right into the forehead.
SPEAKER_01Knocked me into the floor. Because you were looking at them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was working at them. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01Hits me right on the forehead. I had a huge whelp on the forehead, knocks me off the bar, and I landed on the floor. And everybody was like, and of course, I went out of pity, I think.
SPEAKER_05Did you go home with somebody that night?
SPEAKER_01I don't remember, but I didn't know. I bet you did.
SPEAKER_06Because those insane nights have good endings, usually.
SPEAKER_03Maybe.
SPEAKER_06Like because somebody was probably like, Are you okay? You know what I mean? Like those kind of nights usually do a turnaround. I I have to tell, this is probably the only I've got a few, but this I want to know yours. That well, this ain't the most, but this is bad. Because I was in mom knows this one. I wanted to be in a beauty pageant because Tanya Watts was in beauty pageants. She always won her whole bedroom was full of trophies. And so I wanted a trophy, you know, like I wanted to be in a beauty pageant because everybody in little towns back then was in beauty pageants. And so we entered me in a beauty pageant. I was in sixth grade, and I was trying to get tips. And somebody's like, when you go on stage, just look at the judges, don't take your eyes off the judges and smile and look at the Judges. You didn't. I was in the audience. Oh. So I walk across the stage smiling at those judges and walk straight into the wall. We had to leave. We left.
SPEAKER_01What were you wearing?
SPEAKER_06I was wearing an ugly dress. It was like burgundy. I was in two beauty pageants. That one, and then I was in another beauty pageant. Little Miss Valentine and mom made that dress because you've always been able to make anything. It doesn't matter what it is. And you made that dress and it had all these ruffles. I don't know what kind of fabric that was, but it was red with white dots. Dotted Swiss.
SPEAKER_05Dotted Swiss.
SPEAKER_01Your gay uncle knew the answer.
SPEAKER_05Dotted Swiss. That's insane.
SPEAKER_06I would have never known that fabric. But I think I won because of the dress. Like I won first place. I even beat that girl that had all the trophies. But like I swear I think I won because that dress was so beautiful. I mean, that dress was so beautiful. It really was.
SPEAKER_01You were beautiful too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you were beautiful too.
SPEAKER_06Kinda. I was you all Chris said everyone young is beautiful. Isn't that a great quote? Yeah. And like, so you think about it back then, it's like you see old pictures of yourself and you're like, man, I wish I had known. You know, I was so hard on myself. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01I look back and said, damn, I didn't know I was that hot.
SPEAKER_06I know. I thought the same thing about myself, but mostly you. Like when you're tan and all muscled up from working out. I mean, it was crazy. You could have been in magazines back then, those pictures. But you probably didn't have any idea then.
unknownNo, I didn't.
SPEAKER_06That's how it goes. Like, I see pictures when I was like maybe 23 or 4 or 5. Like, and it's like, and and at the time you remember, like you're getting your heart broken left and right. And and I wish I could tell that girl that's like keeps getting just screwed over, like, like a guy'll be dating you and another girl the whole time. You know what I mean? I wish I could have told that girl, like, just go have fun. This don't even matter. Right. You know, like, but but when you're young, you don't know.
SPEAKER_02Just every year.
SPEAKER_06It was like a most popular kind of thing.
SPEAKER_02And I think that's because when people are voting on something.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, because they would vote. Each grade would vote. And I think that maybe I was talking to my daughter about it because she got voted kindest in her class, like over and over. And it's like I told her nothing could make me more proud than that. And she doesn't and she's beautiful. And she's beautiful. Like her teachers told me stuff like she doesn't get involved in the drama. She just doesn't, you know, and I loved that. Yeah. I think that I got voted every year because I really and truly liked everybody. Yeah. And I knew everybody. And everybody. Everybody.
SPEAKER_02Everybody. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Everybody. I mean, like, even especially if it was the people that nobody talked to. That like, and I don't know where that came from, but I always really was very aware of how other people would feel. Somebody.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think I taught you that.
SPEAKER_06Maybe you did. Maybe you did. Because like, maybe I was copying you because Kelly and me, how many years are between us?
SPEAKER_01I'm 62.
SPEAKER_06I'm 54. Eight. Is that eight? I can still do math. Like our daughters, like, you're not going to know how to do anything because of Chat GPT. Yeah. And I need to do a video about all the stuff Chat GPT can do because I don't feel like most people know, especially most people that are like over probably 40. But it does so much. So I just ask it everything. But she was like, you're going to lose, you know, you're not going to know how to do math or anything.
SPEAKER_04We don't have to now.
SPEAKER_06No. You can ask, like, hey, Siri, what's two times 791 or whatever? It's nuts. Okay, what's your most embarrassing moment? Uh-oh. I don't think I have one. Oh, mom, you know you have one. I'm trying to think if I know any of your. Tell me.
SPEAKER_03No, please don't tell.
SPEAKER_05I'm telling you. Oh, it's the best. This is the best story.
SPEAKER_01So Becky Lord. Back in the day, and I lived in Gadston, Alabama. So Becky uh calls me on the phone and she said, Kelly, get over here now. Hurry. You're real dramatic. And I'm like, oh my God. And I hung up the phone and I drove 20 minutes as fast as I could in my 300 ZX. And so I show up and I ran in, and Becky has how many birds did Becky have?
SPEAKER_06Like eight or twelve or a bunch. Where did you even get those birds?
SPEAKER_01She had a lot of birds.
SPEAKER_06Where'd you get them? I just bought them from the bird store. A bird store? Like a pet store? On Rainbow Drive. Some of them. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Becky calls me and I show up and she's got this little parakeet in her hand. And she's like, my parakeet's sick and blah, blah, blah. No, she said, my bird's sick, and I need to take it to the vet. Well, I knew a vet that I took my dogs to. And so I'm like, oh my God, Becky. She said, No, now. And I'm like, okay. I said, well, change clothes. She said, no. She had on like pink fuzzy house shoes and flannel pajamas and just whatever. House coat. Yeah. Exactly. She gets in the car and we go over to the vet and we walk in. And I actually knew everybody there practically. Some of my friends were even there. So we walk in, the lobby's kind of full, and Becky was shuffling her feet and walking in in those um house. Yes. And she's holding the little bird out front, and she's just looking and she's whimpering and crying and she's going and her lips quivering.
SPEAKER_06Is everybody watching?
SPEAKER_01Yes, everybody in the lobby is just looking at her. And I was a little embarrassed. And so she walks up and the lady comes from around the counter and says, What's what's going on? And she's looking, she goes, and she keeps whimpering and she goes, My chicken's dead. She called it a fucking chicken. And everybody in there starts laughing. But it gets better. She takes it and she opens its little mouth and goes, lays it down and starts pushing on its chest, which is sweet.
SPEAKER_05Oh my gosh. That's very sweet. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01But it was also funny.
SPEAKER_05Oh, it's so funny. She's pressing on this little finger. So funny.
SPEAKER_01Blowing in its little mouth. And I'm just rolling my eyes, going, Oh my God. And everybody's looking, and I'm like, Oh no.
SPEAKER_02My but my birds, I was close to my bro.
SPEAKER_04And your chicken.
SPEAKER_02What how how were you close to those birds? Well, I had to feed them every day and clean their um cages out and everything.
SPEAKER_06Did they did they act like they knew you and stuff?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_06Like, I don't really know. We hadn't had, oh my gosh, we have had birds once.
SPEAKER_01I've had birds.
SPEAKER_06It was like every week, like another pet, is what it felt. It just was so many pets. And so we had hamsters. We had that guinea pig Pokey Brown, and then we had Pokey Brown and Pokey Black. And we and um we had so many animals. Like I'll never forget. There was a hamster that got loose. That hamster was loose probably maybe two weeks. We've been looking for that hamster. I saw it in my closet, run across the floor, but I couldn't catch it. And we thought that the dog Harriet ate it. And so then on Thanksgiving, Chris's brother Robin shoved his hand in an oven mitt to get the dressing out and screamed and threw that oven mitt, that hamster was in the end of it. Like I feel like we're gonna sound like mass murders. What, Mom, what's your most embarrassing moment?
SPEAKER_02Well, the one that I always think about is when I was in high school, we had like an something in the auditorium on every Friday. Some kind of show.
SPEAKER_06Was it a pep rally or like a pep rally?
SPEAKER_02But this time they weren't playing boss, so we I can't remember what we had, but I was in charge of leading the pledge to the flag. You go down front and you put your hand over your heart and you say, Let's stand for the pledge of allegiance to the flag.
SPEAKER_06And then everybody follows along with me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And so I started it, and I I said, I pledge allegiance to the flag. And after I'd said that, I farted so loud. Oh my gosh! And y'all, I don't fart out loud. I can hold my phone.
SPEAKER_00That's hilarious. How old?
SPEAKER_02How old were you? Everybody in that auditorium was laughing so loud because it sort of uh echoed in there, you know. Oh gosh. And it was so loud when I farted.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I love that. When that makes me think, like when I I don't know, I'm sure you remember this, but probably nothing like I do because it was I don't get embarrassed. I I hardly ever get embarrassed. I mean, I can do just I could come out of the bathroom with toilet paper dragon in my pants. I don't even care. Like yeah, a million times. I don't get embarrassed much. Like, but I think it's because the age I was. Like I was in probably seventh grade and playing softball for Hair Affair. Isn't that a crazy name? Hair Affair, I remember that. So I was like play, I never hardly got to play. I was right field because nobody could hit it that far. I wasn't good at all. But so it was my turn to bat, and I was so wait, before the game started, there was um, I started my period. And and like you would wear little shorts and that little hairfare shirt. And um I started my period and I was in the parking lot and like I was asking around on our team, like, does anybody have any pads? You know, and this one girl's like, I do. My mom does in the car. So I went and she's like, just get them out. So I got one out and slapped it on really quick because I was about to bat. And so I go back in the dugout, and it was my turn and everything, and I go out there, and then like I hit the ball and I really hit it further than usual. Like I'm not, I mean, hit it in outfield. And so I took off running, and when I got to second base, I was looking to see like if he may have the ball, but everybody was like just bent over laughing. And I was like, what? I was trying to figure out nobody's even going after the ball. I was trying to figure out why. And I kept running, and then I looked down, and the pad is just laying on the field. I mean, just laying there in front of everybody, in front of everybody in the stands, everybody on the team, everybody.
SPEAKER_05And what'd you do?
SPEAKER_06I just went back and got that pad and scored. I scored with it in my hand. I still went around and I scored. You can't believe that.
SPEAKER_01Did we slide over home base?
SPEAKER_06I don't remember that. No, I went straight to the trash and sliding in the trash. Like, yeah, it was like that, but that was embarrassing, and everybody called me Maxie like pooter. They called me Maxie for like six months, like, and then I finally got over that. But that's the only real embarrassing. I had one other one just with this lady who was like doing my hair. I was getting a permanent, and um, I was saying something about I just want to make sure it ain't fried. This girl at my school, like so-and-so, her hair is fried off. And I was talking about it, and that lady's like, Well, what school? And I told her, she's like, What's your name? It was her daughter. Oh, and I thought she's gonna run my hair. Like I had that, I had the rollers in. I was like, She's gonna run my hair. Oh, I mean, it was bad.
SPEAKER_01But back then it was fried, dyed, and laid to the side.
SPEAKER_06I love there's another saying about the smaller the town, the bigger the hair. Oh, yeah. And this lady in Vegas that was doing my hair, I went in there with extensions and she's like, Yeah, southern girls just bring their hair with them. And I'm I had mine.
The Scariest Moments We Remember
SPEAKER_06I need to know about your scariest moment. Like you were saying, and I don't know what mine is. That's hard.
SPEAKER_01Well, I do know what mine is. And um, I was probably 11 or 12 years old. Remember when we had a trailer in Leesburg on the lake?
SPEAKER_06Oh, yeah. When when the door opened and that rock hit Sandy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, hit Sandy in the eye. So, anyway, we had a a trailer at the lake and we would get in the pickup truck and and go get minnows, is what I called them, minors. And so we'd go there and we'd get, you know, dad would get his beer and cigarettes, and we'd go to the bait shop. And it was at that remember the uh Yellow Creek.
SPEAKER_06I remember and you'd dip them out. You'd dip them.
SPEAKER_01Yellow Creek Falls, and we would go hike around the falls up there, and there was a bait shop.
SPEAKER_06I never knew where we were because I was young. Like, you know how you don't know where you are, but you remember the place. Yes. I remember the place.
SPEAKER_01We went there and it had rained for days and days and days. And so we go, and Craig Osborne, a friend of mine that I grew up with, my best friend growing up, he and I was gonna just take off and run behind the bait shop and run up the hill. It was two big hills. And we're gonna run up there and race. And so we were gonna see who can get to the top first. So we took off running, and dad was getting his beer and talking to Pearl or whatever his name was, and I was winning, and I ran off and and it was dried, crusty mud that had washed down from the hills, and it was just caked dried and crusty. It broke through, and it was like a pond of quicksand mud. Oh my gosh, you fell through it?
SPEAKER_06How how far down did you go? Kelly, like quicksand?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was mud. And it was watery mud underneath it. What was everybody doing? Well, nobody was in the back of the channel. Just you and Craig. It was just me and Craig. So I fell through, and Craig fell kind of on the edge of it, and I went all the way up to my chin. And I literally put my hands like this and tried to stay afloat, and I was going down, and I couldn't, you couldn't get out. The more you moved, the further you'd go down.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01And it was terrifying.
SPEAKER_06And so that's like quicksand, exactly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I still have this little nightmares about it. Yeah, I'm telling you.
SPEAKER_06What are they?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_06I just feel like you know, you just like you're going down and can't get up.
SPEAKER_01And that was traumatic. But I remember Craig getting out the edge, running all the way back up to the bait shop.
SPEAKER_06And you're just holding on.
SPEAKER_01And I was just holding on. I felt like the wider I could put my fingers and hands and my keep myself up above, it wouldn't I wouldn't go down as fast. I was going all the way on the street. So scary, Kelly. Craig runs back screaming, and my dad and the owner of the shop he told my dad what happened, and and the owner grabbed that long stick that you stick down to measure the gas in the ground in the tank. They would put it down into the ground.
SPEAKER_06It was like a brain handle or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it was long. It was like twelve to fifteen feet long. And you would go down in the ground and to measure the gas tanks underground. So he grabbed it and ran with it, and my dad had already jumped into it to get me out, and so he was going down with me. And so he put that long stick out, and my dad grabbed it and he pulled us both out. But it was terrifying.
SPEAKER_06Was Craig in it too?
SPEAKER_01No, he had gotten out. Because I was in front of it.
SPEAKER_06So he's he stabbed that stick in the ground. No, he pulled it out. How did it happen?
SPEAKER_01Put the stick out straight, and we and Dad grabbed a hold of it and he pulls it back and pulls us out.
SPEAKER_06Did it take a while or did it?
SPEAKER_01Um no, not really. That's that's the scariest life. Yeah. That's awful.
SPEAKER_06Because you thought you were dying.
SPEAKER_01In mud.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yeah. And drowning in mud. Yes.
SPEAKER_01That was my scariest moment.
SPEAKER_06You don't know. That's terrifying. And how old high school?
SPEAKER_01Probably 12.
SPEAKER_06Oh, 12.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was young.
SPEAKER_06By looking at it, you don't know it's gonna be like No, because it don't look deep.
SPEAKER_01Well, it was dry ground and I broke through the dry, crusty mud, and it just I didn't even know that could happen.
SPEAKER_06That's awful, Kelly. That's awful.
SPEAKER_01You're aware of that.
SPEAKER_06There's one more story about a movie, and then mom's gotta be thinking about your scariest moment. I got one more movie story with Kelly. I don't know if you know this story. We went to see The Sixth Sense with Bruce Willis. It's like a scary movie. And so when we got there, like we had our tickets, but there wasn't any seats. People had already filled up all the seats. So we had to leave and come back at nine o'clock. And during the meantime, we ate a whole dozen donuts, like between Kelly, me, Chris, and whoever was with us. Like, we ate like a dozen donuts. And so we're all jacked up on sugar and everything, but we get back to the movie, and like so we're watching the movie, it's so scary and intense. And this guy comes in after it's been playing about 20 minutes, and that guy's like coming up the stairs, and he's got popcorn and stuff, and he's like, it took me 15 minutes to get this popcorn. And right, all of a sudden, the guy sitting in the seat right next to me, he's like, he just screamed as loud as he could, almost peed in my pants. Nobody said a word. Nobody in that theater said another word. It was sitting right next to me. It just shot my nerves off out of the building. It was awful. Did you shut up? I wasn't even making no noise. It was that other guy. It was that guy saying there's no, like I had to wait 15 minutes for popcorn. It that guy, he screamed it so loud. I mean, you screamed it. Chris still laughs about that movie. Like, cause it it scared everybody in there, but he was right next to me. Like it was bad. Okay, let's mom, let's hear your scariest moment.
SPEAKER_02The only one that I can just think of real quick is um when Levi was real young, he hadn't started walking anymore. How old was he? He was crawling, so I guess he was probably about 11 months, maybe 12 months old. And I was over at your house, and me and Levi was in the den and you were in the kitchen. It was before it got remodeled. That's what it was.
SPEAKER_06I know exactly what the story is. I hate this story.
SPEAKER_02So anyway, when I but it that scared me bad. That was awful. When um you were in there just messing around fixing supper or something, and so I believe I was crawling and I was making sure I was watching him and checking on him, but he was his back was to me. Yeah, you know, so I couldn't see his face or anything. But I noticed he wasn't crawling any morning, he was just going like that. So I thought something's wrong. You know, and I ran in there and I looked and he had gotten into you know how the styrofoam pieces they put in boxes for padding. Yeah, the peanuts. I hate that styrofoam pants. He had put one in his mouth and it had gotten down in his throat. And the first thing they teach you in CPR is not to stick your hand or finger in somebody's mouth if they're choking on something. Yeah. Because it pushes it on down further. So anyway, I pulled his head back and I reached, and I could just barely feel it with my fingers. And I tried two or three times to get it, but I couldn't. It kept sliding back out of my fingers. And so he was choking, he was already turning blue. And I reached down there and I just stick the ends of my fingernails just into it as much as I could before I started trying to pull it out. And then uh they stayed in and I finally got it out of it. Oh my goodness. But if I hadn't been watching it, that's terrifying.
SPEAKER_06I I just can't even deal with that story.
SPEAKER_02That I have ever been with any of the kids.
SPEAKER_06I'm glad I didn't know about that till after.
SPEAKER_01When you were little Amy at Mama and Papa's eating rat poison?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I remember we had it was Fruit Loops.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And and it had rat poison.
SPEAKER_06Sandy coyed.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, back in the day, you know, I think you had spelt Fruit Loops.
SPEAKER_06No, no, I remember Sandy put rat poison in a bowl of Fruit Loops and put it under the kitchen counter because she thought that would be a good way to like kill a rat if she if there was a bowl of Fruit Loops, like that they might come eat, you know, some of it. And I found that bowl of Fruit Loops before the mice did. I found it.
SPEAKER_01I remember that. You didn't. Freaking awful.
SPEAKER_06You were little. I was like under three. You know, it's weird you said that because my next question was gonna be if anything supernatural had ever happened
Angels Signs And A Goodbye Dream
SPEAKER_06to you. And that is the only two things actually, but that well, actually three things. But one of them happened recently, but that was the strongest, biggest, most real thing. So I ate that rat poison. I had my stomach pumped, or whatever they did to it. And they told mom that do not let her go to sleep. Like she can't go to sleep. Kind of like if you have a concussion, you can't go to sleep. Do not let her go to sleep. Keep her awake. And so some of that part I remember from mom telling that part. Parts of the story I remember because I've heard mom tell about the don't let her go to sleep and her putting like a cold rag on me and trying to wake me up. But the part I actually remember is mom said that I asked, Who's that pretty woman with wings on her back? And she was like shaking me, wake up, wake up, you know, like flipping out. But I still remember like the feeling of the bliss and joy and beauty and light coming off of this being in front of the window, but up above. And like I wasn't scared at all. It was like an awesome feeling, but mom flipped out because she could tell I was looking at something and talking, like, who's that pretty woman with wings on her back? Like that would flip anybody out.
SPEAKER_02She said, Mama, who's that woman sitting on my bed? Yeah, yeah. And I thought, well, Amy, there's not a woman sitting on your bed. And she said, Yeah, that woman with wings on her back.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_06Well, I think what started it is I was giggling because I saw her in the in the window before that ever even happened. Because I can still remember it was really almost like it was like say an angel, if there was only an outline. Yeah. Like like glowing, an outline glowing around an angel. Like there wasn't a face. There wasn't, it was just an outline, and they made me happy. Yeah. Like it made me really happy. That's that's the biggest thing I remember is the glowing outline. But there were wings in the outline, and just being really happy, you know, like just they made me, I wasn't scared at all. Yeah, it was all good, like all of it. But it really scared me because I thought maybe he was like, I would have a nervous breakdown. Yeah, I would, I can't even imagine if it was one of the kids doing that. Like Oscar used to have a lot of moments like where he had a dream, like he was dreaming, and in his dream, he was like, How'd you do that? Like, I mean, he would always have he always would see things. And then Levi saw when he was young, he said, Papa Danny comes to see me when it rains.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_06Is that not amazing?
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_06I just was so flipped out by it.
SPEAKER_02I think that was true. Oh, I believe that's true. Well, I kept Levi when he was little. We were living in those apartments over um across from where in Nipper's Corner. Yeah, I know where you mean. And uh I was keeping him one day and had just started walking. He was walking around and uh we had those doors that had the glass in them, you know, we could see outside, and he was standing at the door and he was just babbling, you know, like he was talking to somebody and looking at him and smiling and laughing. And so anyway, I said, Who are you talking to? He said, That man.
SPEAKER_00He saw somebody.
SPEAKER_02Wow. And I thought it might have been Danny.
SPEAKER_06Well, okay, so we brought Levi, my son, home from the hospital nine months to the day my dad died. Nine months to the day. And I remember too when Chris and me got married, there was that little bird sat in the window the whole ceremony and then it flew off right when it was over. But it stayed and watched. And I always thought about that.
SPEAKER_01I had a red bird visit me this morning when I was shaving. I have a window outside the sink, out um at the sink. And I told Ira, I said, Look, look. I said, There is a red bird exactly in the middle of the window looking right at me. And I always say that's my mother.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I love that dream.
SPEAKER_01Do you remember uh what the story about when my when mother died?
SPEAKER_06The dream?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Tell that dream. This dream, I'm begging you to paint it. And if you do paint it, I'll show it like on another episode because you have to paint this. The wild thing to me about this dream you had is I've wanted you to paint it. I've asked you to paint it for 25 years. But the wild thing to me about this, this is like when Kelly tells this story, imagine how you see this painting in your head. Because that's what's fascinating. Like, because I think I see this painting completely different than you do, and I'm sure you'll see it different. So I want to know like about the dream. Everybody's gonna want to know about the dream, and then how you see it, like what it would look like as a painting.
SPEAKER_01Okay. That's have you got it in your head? Oh, yeah, I've had it in my head forever. So mother was sick with cancer, and she was in Birmingham Hospital at UAB. And so, of course, I would go see her all the time. I think I was 26 years old. And um so the night before she passed away where they had her on life support and she wasn't supposed to be. And then they put her on there, and so they told us she was they were gonna take her off of life support the next day.
SPEAKER_06Did she go on life support early? Like earlier.
SPEAKER_01Oh, well, she they said she was cancer free. Do you remember that? Which were never really cancer free, but they she was doing really good, and then she got like pneumonia or sick.
SPEAKER_05Like said, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so then they put her on um life support. So anyway, they did that, and so I was staying at a hotel nearby, and so I went and went home to sleep to go back the next day, and that night I had this dream. And I dreamed that I showed up at the hospital and I walk into her room, and she said, I don't want this room anymore. You're gonna have to move me up to the top floor like that. And I said, What do you mean? This is great. Your nurses are wonderful. She said, No, no, no. Give me the robe that's hanging on the the hook there. And I'm like, That robe wasn't there. And so I look, and there's this beautiful white, almost feathery, soft robe. And so I reached for it and I put it on mother, and and we ended up um, she stood up and we walked, and she said, I want to go to the top floor. I don't want to be on this floor anymore. And I'm like, Okay, whatever you want. And so we go and get on the elevator, and the door opens, we get on the elevator, and we're talking, and I'm looking at her. Then the bell dings and the el the elevator bell bell dings and the doors open. And I remember looking down, and there was like clouds and fog coming in the around my ankles. And I look up, and she had taken a couple of steps out of the elevator, and then she turned around and I started to go with her, and she puts her hand up and says, You can't go. And then she said, I'm just very tired. And she stretches and yawns and stretches like in a yawn, and wings came out, and it was just all these beautiful clouds. Yeah. So my my painting of that is from my perspective.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, what what do you see in the paint? Like, how would you imagine this painting?
SPEAKER_01I have actually tried to paint it.
SPEAKER_06You're gonna paint it this year, I think.
SPEAKER_01So it's gonna be life size, uh, probably like 48, 72 at 50.
SPEAKER_06Like the size of a door but wider?
SPEAKER_01Yes, four feet wide.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_0172 tall. And I see her my view is looking at her actually saying goodbye, which is sad. But she was very happy and content.
SPEAKER_06But you only see her back. Is that right?
SPEAKER_01Or before. No, I see. Where are you in the room? I'm looking right back.
SPEAKER_06Where are you in this, like where are you seeing the painting happening?
SPEAKER_01And then she's on the outside of the elevator. Yes. Because she turned to tell me sh that I couldn't go. And then uh the wings pop out as she yawns and stretches. So that's my view, would be her about to turn around and walk away to heaven with a cloud. But I would like to add, and this is what I wanted to do in the painting, I tried several times, but I just couldn't get it right, is wildflowers around at the bottom.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I didn't see that, but I just well maybe stick to what you saw. True.
SPEAKER_06Maybe that's what's supposed to happen.
SPEAKER_01Maybe so.
SPEAKER_06Like that one story really showed me about as good as anything ever has, like, perspective, like, because and and then it made me think, even if you're reading a book, everybody's gonna read a book the diff a different way. And thing different things are gonna stick with them, you know, like everybody's gonna have different things stick with them. And like that dream, be thinking, mom, of how you visualize that dream if you were gonna paint it. Because that's what I think is fascinating. Yeah, because like my vision of this dream has always been the same. It's like from the elevator perspective, you can see the buttons on both sides, and it's the moment right after she flocked these mighty, glorious, feathery wings, and the sky's out there, and you see these wings like somebody's about to take off. That's how I've always seen that. Wow, that's beautiful. Isn't that great? And what's great about that too is so many people would relate to that, you know. Like I've always seen her from the back with the and the wings have always been very strong, not like flowery or sweet. They've been like mighty's the best word. Like, like just strong, like kind of like almost like who she always was and never got to be, just strong, like like an eagle, you know, just strong.
SPEAKER_01Remember? Dolly Parton's song. Oh shit, I forgot. I forgot. She played that. Bette Midler. No, uh Dolly Parton sang the song.
SPEAKER_06Uh Wait, which song?
SPEAKER_01She's an eagle when she flies.
SPEAKER_06Oh yes, yes. Was that a side? Oh, yeah, that is her. Yeah, that's right. I had that mixed up with a different Bette Midler song about like something about flying. But it yeah, she's an eagle when she flies. I remember that song. It it's like that. Exactly. It's exactly like that, but with white wings.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_06That's the only difference. I just remember always in my head that the wings weren't sweet or small or like they were big and strong. Yeah, that's what I really always imagined from when you told that dream.
SPEAKER_01It was a beautiful dream. I know the the preacher that uh after she passed in the funeral, uh, I told him that dream, and he said that was a gift from God. Yeah, that it it was beautiful, and that she kind of considered me as her escort to heaven.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, exactly. I believe that. Because y'all had like a very special relationship. Yeah, he was like an only child. Mama's morning. Yeah, exactly. I mean, just a special, special bond and like just rela I knew that even as a kid, you know, and I felt like we had a great relationship. Yeah, I mean, like we always were way closer because what's crazy is we're closer in age than you and mom are. Did you ever think about it? No, I didn't. I haven't because we're eight years apart and y'all are 13 years apart. So, so that's why I feel like we always had a closer relationship because we're like brother and sister age-wise, and we grew up together and we have so many memories. Like, okay, are you gonna tell your vision of this dream?
Mothers Always Know And The Baton
SPEAKER_06Did you have one? Well, I I did. It was almost just like your Really? It was that angle and everything. Yeah, this just popped in my head. But do you feel like that, Mama, my grandmother, do you feel like that she had an understanding about you different than anybody else? Do you feel like that sh just being a mom? This is a good question. Like, do you feel like that she knew you were gay like when you were little? Like when however old you were. Do you think she knew?
SPEAKER_01Are you talking to me or Becky? You that was funny.
SPEAKER_06It took me amazing.
SPEAKER_01Surprise.
SPEAKER_06Oh, it took me a minute.
SPEAKER_05By the way, yeah, I'm like, This is Becky's coming out episode.
SPEAKER_06I'm doned in. I'm toned in on this. Like, because y'all really did seem to have a special relationship.
SPEAKER_01Mothers always know.
SPEAKER_06That's what I think. Mothers know mothers always know. Always.
SPEAKER_01And if they don't, they're in denial.
SPEAKER_06Well, if they don't, they're delusional. They're they're just like they're loved.
SPEAKER_01They're in denial. That's right. Mother loved me so much, and I dated girls through school. She did, kid. She did, she knew.
SPEAKER_06She really you were special to her. Like you had a different relationship with her than any of her other kids did.
SPEAKER_01Ira calls me pick of the litter.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01That's sweet.
SPEAKER_06That's so good.
SPEAKER_01I need to put that on a t-shirt.
SPEAKER_06I love what you said. I think everybody needs to know that mothers always know. I think that's a true thing because moms are paying attention to things that nobody else notices.
SPEAKER_01So I got a hilarious story. I would love to tell it. So back when I was a little boy, and this girl came to see me, what, just a few weeks ago, Craig Osborne's older sister, Rhonda. Oh, yeah. Who do you remember Rhonda? She's a beautiful girl. I remember Rhonda. Beautiful girl, major rat. She twirled the baton in school. And they lived about three or four houses down. And so I'm on my bicycle. I'm riding by their house, and she's twirling her baton. And I see her mother, Jean, open the door and say, Rhonda, come in for lunch. And so you can I can see and hear it because houses were close to the roadload. Yeah. And so she drops her baton and she runs in the door. Well, I'm looking at that baton going, I want that baton.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you wanted that baton. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Because I remember as a little boy, you know, I can see myself holding onto that chain link fence at the football games.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_01During uh the halftime with the band and the majorettes, and I watched every move they made.
SPEAKER_03Did you know the memes? Did you know that?
SPEAKER_01I do know a few of them, yes. And so they always started out like this with their arms crossed with a baton. I can say that. I know every move.
unknownAnyway.
SPEAKER_01So How old? How old were you? Oh, probably 12 or probably 12 years old. Yeah. And so I get that baton, and I I remember trying to hide it and ride on my bike all the way back home. And mother and dad was gone somewhere, probably at the lake or something. And I remember going into the backyard, slinging my bicycle down, jumped off, and I'm in the backyard, and I remember I could just hear the band playing. And I started marching with that baton. I can I could twirl that baton and I could flip it and I could. And you could twirl it before you ever even tried to twirl it. Well, I was twirling sticks and everything else. So a little piece of bar, but it wasn't the baton.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01So I ended up twirling that baton, and I'm out in the backyard marching and doing every perfect, perfect, perfect moves for every step. I knew it. And so all of a sudden I hear a noise, and it's the next door neighbor, Annie Ruth. She walks outside, her screen door slams because she was going out to hang her laundry up. Remember that? I remember in the backyard. Oh yeah, right next to us. And so Annie was.
SPEAKER_06And she was so nosy.
SPEAKER_01She was a nosy person. She had to know everything.
SPEAKER_02She was really a good sweet neighbor. But she was no she was nosy.
SPEAKER_01She would hang her clothes out two or three times to see what was happening. Just to see what was happening.
SPEAKER_02But did you know she came to see me when I was in the hospital when mother and daddy didn't even come up there when I had my I'd hurt my knee in high school and had to have a surgery, and she'd come up there every drive either. She'd have to get somebody to bring it up. She was always drive to the body. That's very sweet.
SPEAKER_01So I ended up jerking my head over and looking at Andy Ruth with her little hair pinned. Pin curled to her head. Yep. Her apron.
SPEAKER_05And those little clip things.
SPEAKER_01And she had her basket of clothes going to the laundry line. And she's she screams, Gelly, what are you doing like that? And I look over there and I get the baton and I start sword fighting with it and said, It's a sword. It's a sword. She knew too, by the way.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That but I told Rhonda that story.
SPEAKER_05You did?
SPEAKER_01I told her recently that I stole her baton, and she was like, I wondered what happened to that baton.
SPEAKER_06Ellie, I love that.
SPEAKER_01And then a friend of mine, Chandra, that's an artist in the gallery. I told her that story. We were, I don't know how that came out, but I told her and she starts laughing and laughing. That's funny. And then a week later, I get an Amazon package and I open it's a Barbie baton.
SPEAKER_05No. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Her Chandra, a friend of mine in the gallery, an artist. She sent it to me.
SPEAKER_05Is that not nuts?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she's still I still send her in uh all kinds of Instagrams with guys twirling batons.
SPEAKER_06Oh, Kelly, that's insane. You said that about your best friend and living in Rhonda, and Rhonda reminded
DNA Surprise And A New Sister
SPEAKER_06me. Okay, I need to know. First of all, I don't know exactly how it happened, but what did you think when you found out that Laura Lankford was your half-sister? Because it was my DNA test that showed up. She had done one, and we came in as matches, like really close.
SPEAKER_01Closer than our cousin.
SPEAKER_06Like six. Closer than a cousin.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And so I got a phone call.
SPEAKER_06So I need to know. I've never even asked you. I don't even know.
SPEAKER_01So I got a I get a phone call. First of all, Laura is what two doors down.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, she grew up two doors down from where y'all grew up. Yeah, my grandparents. No. We didn't know that. No, she wasn't. No. She was just a neighbor.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And so her older brother, Craig, I mean, Shane, was um my friend too. Yeah. So he was a friend. And so anyway, I get a message from our cousin Jill, and Jill said, Are you setting down? And I said, Why? She said, I have news for you.
SPEAKER_06Oh gosh.
SPEAKER_01She said, I just got on was it ancestry.com. Yes. And I said, I'm on there. And she said, I know. And so is Amy. And I said, Okay. She said, Well, I just found out that there's somebody that shows up that's the closer to you than closer to Amy. And I said, Well, what do you mean? And she said, It's Laura Lankford. And I said, Oh my God. And so I end up thinking about it. And I went in and told Ira, and he just laughs. He said, Only in Alabama. And so shit happens in New York. You know it does.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So anyway, the next day I got on Facebook and I messaged Laura. We're friends on Facebook because I've known her my whole life.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01She's like, Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well, she lived down two doors down.
SPEAKER_01And she's anyway, long story short, so uh I messaged her and I said, So, do you know the news? And she said, Yes. And she said, So she knew before you, or Jill Toter. She found out the like the day before, too. I think that's what she said, or a couple of days. So anyway, and she said, Well, question mark, what do you think?
SPEAKER_03Oh God.
SPEAKER_01And I said, Well, I'm just glad it's somebody I love.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01Also because Laura's mother, our family went to church all the time, Emmanuel Baptist Church.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I remember hearing that name.
SPEAKER_01And so dad sang in the choir and was a solo singer. And anyway, and um, so Laura's mother, Mary Lou Langford, was a wonderful sweet lady. She played the organ in the church and the piano in the church. And so I told Laura, I said, Well, Laura, here's what I've got to say. I don't think the church organ is the only one your mother played.
SPEAKER_06Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01Because you're my half-sister.
SPEAKER_06Who was more shocked, you guys or her?
SPEAKER_01She always said she just didn't think she fit. She was more like a Harwood.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah. But did she associate you guys or just think she didn't fit in her family? What did she have any feelings? Yeah, we would have to ask her.
SPEAKER_01Because I don't want to say that.
SPEAKER_06I will ask her. I'll try to ask her.
SPEAKER_01And I'll reach out to her soon.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So she came to the Christmas party. Yeah. And it was so great to see her and pick right back up. I know. The crazy thing is that, like, I played with her growing up. I don't know how much younger than you she is. Like, she's younger than you, right?
SPEAKER_01She's like four years younger.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. She I thought so because I thought she was in between us because she was older than me and younger than you.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Remember when Corey went to her house?
SPEAKER_06Yes.
SPEAKER_01So Corey, Amy's brother, goes to Laura's house. Who this is weird. She moved back to town to Hoax Bluff.
SPEAKER_05Did she go in the same house?
SPEAKER_01No, she's two doors the other side.
SPEAKER_05Oh gosh.
SPEAKER_01She rented the house on the corner there, on the other side of Annie Ruth. So now she's two doors to the left. That way.
unknownOh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Kind of like that Dolly Pardon song, Two Doors thinking and having a party. So she's having a party. And Corey goes over there, and Corey walks up and says, Laura, what are you doing with a picture of my mother on your wall? And it was her graduation picture, but it looked just like Becky. It looks just like me. And I've I mean I can show two or three people and they'd think it was the same person. So yeah, she definitely looks looks like a hard one.
SPEAKER_06Did you ever pick up on this before she said? Never.
SPEAKER_01I didn't.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I didn't either. Did you, Mom? No.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I never did.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well, I remember you telling some kind of story about that things, but I thought it happened earlier, but I do remember you saying some kind of story about things changed and y'all quit going to church.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Like, but I remember you saying something about the organ player, and I never did know why mother and daddy just up and quit going to church.
SPEAKER_02Out of nowhere. Out of nowhere.
SPEAKER_01That's a pretty good reason.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's a big reason. It's a big reason. But they were big in church. And Dad sang in the choir and they he had a real pretty voice and he sang solos a good bit. He had a baritone voice, I remember. And so I wasn't just greatly surprised about it.
SPEAKER_01But what?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I just I don't want to talk about her. Who? Mary Lou.
SPEAKER_06Oh, the mom? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to talk about her, but yeah. I wasn't real surprised when it happened.
SPEAKER_06Shit, that says enough.
SPEAKER_02That does.
SPEAKER_06She's a beautiful lady. But it's true. She's homecoming clean. Was she?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Mary Lou was.
SPEAKER_06Um, I can't remember her as much.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna interrupt you. I think it's this is something that's weird. I don't know, I don't know if you even thought about this. What? And I know we're talking a lot about Laura. Hey, Laura, because you're probably gonna be like, Hey Laura, we love you. So Laura's middle name is Lee.
SPEAKER_06Oh God, I didn't know that. And you're Kelly Lee.
SPEAKER_01Sandra Lee.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Dad was Clemule Lee. My grandfather was Carter Lee. So Laura's middle name was. Laura took dad's name.
SPEAKER_06Laura Lee Langford, I remember that.
SPEAKER_01So put dad's name after.
SPEAKER_06So Mary Lee gave her the middle name.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that wild?
SPEAKER_06It is wild, but I bet Mary Lou didn't give her. Well, no, you're right. Mary Lou did give it, but she had to know somehow that that was, yeah. And one of my favorite things, and Kelly, you might
Fear And Aftermath
SPEAKER_06have told me this. I'm not really sure if Laura told me or if you told me that, okay, first of all, I grew up playing with her my whole life. Like, because she lived two doors down. I would have never dreamed she was my aunt. I mean, she was like ever, ever, she was four years younger than you, four years older than me, but we played together because there was nobody else on the street, even close to my age. Right. And so we always played together. And I remember we danced to that funky town in her living room. Like, and we would listen to music on records. She had a bunch of records. And I mean, I grew up with her. I wasn't surprised either, though, when I found found out.
SPEAKER_01Do you remember dancing at our house?
SPEAKER_06100%. That's one of my favorite childhood memories. I would wait in the living room, like my grandmother always slept on the couch, and I slept on the love seat right next to her, like our heads would meet at the ends. And she was the best. I loved her so much. And so at night on the weekends, I would just wait to see the headlights reflect, you know, on the wall. And that meant you were there. So, like when I would see those headlights reflect, I would jump up so excited because I would wait the whole time. And um, then you would come in, and even though it'd be like 11, 12, 1 in the morning, I was so excited. You were probably 16.
SPEAKER_00Probably 16.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, and 17, and maybe even 18. Like, but I would wait on you, and when you came in, like we would turn up whatever was on night tracks and dance because you were such a great dancer. I still and like you danced at that strip though. Oh no, not like that. And you danced, I will never forget you danced at Walmart. Oh my god. And you you danced in that Michael Jackson dance contest. That should be my most embarrassing moment. And I didn't say it. Yeah, Coi won the little kid version. Did you win it? Well, you I remember you had on the jacket, like you were dancing. I don't think people of this generation could ever understand how famous Michael Jackson was.
SPEAKER_01I mean, like that was fun day.
SPEAKER_06Did I say that about Elvis Presley?
SPEAKER_01Of course.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And the Beatles too, probably.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but Elvis was even further back, you know. Uh God, he was just famous all over the world.
SPEAKER_06Well, and he was so good looking, such sex appeal, and that like that leather suit and the way he talked. I it almost felt like everybody southern, first of all, thought they were related to him.
SPEAKER_01We're supposed to be. I think we are.
SPEAKER_06I think we are, but everybody acted like him, talked like him.
SPEAKER_01You remember your dad bought Elvis' cars and we toured with him.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01TCB did.
SPEAKER_06I will never ever forget the times we had. Like we, you know what? It's weird, but the memory that pops out the most in my head, it's messed up. It's not a good one.
SPEAKER_03I know the one you're gonna say.
SPEAKER_06Like, we were lost, Mississippi. I think so. So we were, I don't even know if you know this. We were lost in Mississippi. Yeah, but you weren't with us this night. Like, I don't know how much you know about this night. Like, we were lost. We had been touring with the Elvis cars, like we had there were two Elvis cars, and Kelly drove, you were driving right behind us, and dad was lost, and um, we were in the Cadillac Station Wagon, and you were in that Silverado like camper thing. It was a truck, and it had TCB. Yeah, both of them were Elvis' cars. It had TCB with a lightning bolt on the side, and that um Cadillac Station Wagon, it was the only one in the world.
SPEAKER_01No, there were two. There was one more.
SPEAKER_06Who was the other one?
SPEAKER_01Uh Elvis had uh somebody else had a custom Cadillac station wagon.
SPEAKER_06Maybe he saw it or they saw his. Okay, there were two. They didn't make this, it wasn't a car. I don't think they ever made it. Oh, yeah, you're a car guy. I don't think they ever made any more like, but so we're in we're lost somewhere in Mississippi, and like the roads kept getting smaller and smaller, and then thinner pavement, and then we're on like a dirt road, but there were lights and we're on the dirt road, and I remember like we pull over, and there's men out there, and they had these like the KKK things, the sheets on. And so I as a kid, as an eight-year-old, I see them, and for some reason they it was cones on their heads, yeah.
SPEAKER_01They had they're pointed.
SPEAKER_06That's the way their hats were. So as a kid, I thought they were cone heads like Saturday Night Women. And but they were covered up, but but I thought that's what they were, and then I could tell dad was nervous, and I had never ever seen him nervous ever. And he's standing there outside the car talking to somebody who pulled that thing off their head, and so dad is talking to him, and he's putting his hands in his pockets and shuffling around, and I could tell he was nervous, and I had like a major like fear shooting through my body, but I didn't understand, I didn't know what was happening, but it was dark, it was a dark feeling, and there was a fire that's what I was about to say, fire burning, huge bonfire. You could kind of see it, it was a little bit through the woods, and that fire was you could see it, you could see the smoke, and you could see the top of the flames. And dad, I remember like he was nervous. I'd never seen him nervous, and he was shuffling around and he was talking to this guy, and there were like maybe two or three of them, but one of them had this thing pulled off their head, and it was so intense, like I just had a terrible, scary feeling, and then on top of the scary feeling, I saw dad acting weird. Yeah, and um he came over there, and then this guy gives me this necklace that I did I had no clue what it was. It was like their little symbol.
SPEAKER_01I saw I remember that the KKK.
SPEAKER_06Oh, the KKK, yeah. And it was on that little thing and it was red and black.
SPEAKER_01Red, black, and white. I remember.
SPEAKER_06I remember he gave me that necklace and I just dropped it. It felt evil. Yeah, and he felt evil, and I felt like even as a kid, you might not know. I had no clue what the KKK was, and I had no clue of anything happening except for the feelings I felt. Remember, their faces were covered too, and it's like they were scary. They were scary, yeah. They scared us all. And I remember like dropping that necklace, and then somehow there was a picture of me with the KKK person.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I don't remember that.
SPEAKER_06And I think I don't know who took it, but somebody took it like outside the Elvis car. Oh my gosh. And I almost feel like dad took it. I feel like dad was kind of trying to let them because he wasn't racist ever.
SPEAKER_01Never ever.
SPEAKER_06He's trying to act cool, like he was trying to be like, we're cool with this, this ain't no problem. You know, we're from Alabama, you ain't got no issues with us. Yeah, he was scared too. That's why he was shuffling around. He was scared of them, and I could tell he was scared of them. Maybe that's what made me have that fear. But there was a Polaroid of me standing there with like a KKK guy.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that crazy?
SPEAKER_06And and I had my hands in front of me, and you can tell, you could tell in that picture I was scared. Well, okay, so I was probably eight when that happened. And then when I was around 10 or 11, I found that picture in a drawer at my grandparents' Oakland Harrow, my dad's parents. I found that picture, it was a Polaroid, and I just cut it into a million pieces because I knew what it was then. Oh, yeah, and I just can't even believe that ever happened, honestly. Yeah, I just can't wrap my head around it. I mean, like, and we're from Alabama, and I know it's so sad and terrible when like I meet somebody, especially like New York or somewhere like another place that like they have a viewpoint of Southerners, and I always am scared they think I'm racist because I'm from the South. I know when I'm exactly the opposite of the stuff. And you know how they say, like, if you grow up with somebody beating somebody, you're either gonna beat your kids or be the opposite of that.
SPEAKER_04You want to be the opposite, yeah.
SPEAKER_06And that I've always felt the opposite of that because I I don't understand that. I don't understand people are people, and you can tell when somebody's hurting or scared or crying. I mean, I I'll never understand it honestly. Like, and I think being from Alabama makes it more intense. Like, just seeing people suffer, it's a nightmare. I don't know how that ever happened.