Southern Trauma: Daddy Loved Drag Queens, Scaring People, and Making the News

What happens when a family sits down and finally tells the stories they've never told before? In Part 2 of this raw, unfiltered conversation, hit songwriter Aimee Mayo sits down with her mom Becky and uncle Kelly Harwood for a hilarious, emotional, and wildly unexpected journey through family secrets, DNA surprises, growing up in small-town Alabama, coming out as gay in the Deep South, mental health struggles, suicide prevention, addiction and recovery, and grief. There's Danny Mayo burning 500 X-rated movies on live television (except he didn't actually burn them), Southern family trauma, country music stories, and a meteor shower over Monteagle where two kids with nothing made wishes that somehow came true. Near the end, Kelly says something that stopped everyone cold — and you won't see it coming. This is Wait. What?! with Aimee Mayo — and this might be the most important episode we've ever made.

Transcript

A Wild Family Cold Open

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, I have Christ.

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Amy, those movies were worth $10,000.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

I just burned the boxes. And he got out of the car, went back behind the car, got a shotgun out. It was already loaded.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

There's deerheads like on the bank in the front yard. My brother Jeff drove all the way up from Gats to Rainbow City where he lived. And filled his truck up with stuff and a lot of shit to have a yard sale in my front yard. Didn't even call me.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Dad died homeless. He made millions, but he died homeless.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Danny knows more drag queens than I do.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

I want to pay no attention to him, you know.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

There's a guy in bed with no shirt on that I've never seen, but I just tapped him and I was like, hey, I'm Amy. What's your name? Hi,

Freedom And Mischief In Alabama

SPEAKER_02 1:12

it's White What with Amy Mayo. What were a couple good things, great things about growing up in Gedston in a tiny town in Alabama? And what what were like a couple both of y'all? A couple great things and a couple sad things or terrible things.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

So I think one of the great things is the freedom I had growing up in the childhood and the fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Like just go in the creek and doing whatever you want.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

You know, driving when I was 13 years old. Just the freedom and just the fun times. I mean, you just you weren't there was no rules and there you just go, go, go. And I just loved it. You know, that was the that was the fun part is that you can just get on your bicycle. I got my dad bought me a uh three-wheeler when I was a young boy. And I got on that three-wheeler and drove all the way to Leesburg, which is 30 or 45 minutes on the road. And so anyway, then we quit there, and then Jim and I went to the gay bar in town, which we did have a gay bar in Gadsden. And I think it was called Fats on Fourth.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

It was a Oh, I remember that name.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

So anyway, it's a weird name. But anyway, we go there and we're having a beer and you know, playing It's Raining Man, probably. So anyway, that song was playing. So anyway, we're there dancing, have a good time. And all of a sudden there was a back door, and I saw the back door open, and Danny came in the back door. We didn't tell him we were going there. And I thought, what's Danny doing here? Oh, we I guess he came to see us, you know. Maybe Jim told him. And then all of a sudden, all these drag queens were like, Danny, hey Danny. Oh, and they were coming up, giving him kisses on the cheek and hugging him. And I'm like, what the hell is going on here? Danny knows more drag queens than I do. But he had the video store, and that's how he knew all of them because they're so porn.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Yes, yes. They had that back room. And I remember anytime anybody wasn't looking, I would sneak in that back room because it was all those like triple X movies, like Debbie does Dallas. I remember that title. Like there were all those dirty movies.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

No, he knew all the drag queens, and I thought that was so funny.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

He was always like that. Like, that is the reason. So we had that back room of triple X movies, and then there they opened a video store down the street called Family Video. And it was, they were kind of playing off of that's a dirty, naughty place, you know. And it's like, bring your whole family. And um, that's why dad burned all those movies. But he didn't burn them, they were in the best part. That's kind of genius, honestly. It I would have never thought of that in a million years. Ever no,

The XXX Bonfire

SPEAKER_02 4:08

it was at City Hall.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

Oh, City Hall.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Like, so my dad like had this X-rated movies, probably 500 of them. And we go, he calls us and he's like, Amy, get to City Hall. And he he called everybody. He called like the he called the local news, the Geds and Times. He called everybody. It made like nationwide news. It it was in USA Today. And he called everybody and he said this crazy shit. Like I've had, I've had like a change in my life. Like, and you know, I want to be a better person. I got saved. And he does this whole thing and he burned those movies. There were trash, like metal trash bins everywhere, just in flames. And like I remember like the news interviewed me. They were like, Well, what do you think about your daddy? You know, they interviewed. I wish I could see that interview.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

I wish we could find it.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Oh, I wish I could see it.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

But what's funny is everyone thought the movies were in the boxes and they were.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

So then, fast forward like seven years later, I'm in Nashville, and he's got all these card cardboard boxes everywhere at his apartment, and I'm looking through them, and it's the video, it's like VHS, like, and it's like all these dirty movies, like the titles. And I was like, I thought you burned these movies. He's like, Amy, those movies were worth $10,000. I just burned the boxes. Like who who even thinks of that shit? That's crazy. It is really crazy. If you knew the shit he did, mom, like it's a wonder I'm still alive. I mean, like, after after. If you had a clue of the shit he did, like you would have I'm glad you didn't know till later. Yeah. I don't even know what you know, but I'm glad you didn't know till later. It's a good thing. I mean, like, because I was thinking the other day, do you remember he would just like he would just like act like he had stabbed himself and have ketchup everywhere laying in the floor. I mean, that was a normal day. He acted like he shot himself uh when time with me with him. He uh I love that. That I mean I don't love it for that reason, but it's a good, it's a good like thing to know how crazy he was.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Well, we were fighting with each other about something, and so he wanted me to get in the car and go for a drive with him, and he said he'd bring me right back, and that he just wanted to talk to me, you know. And so I went with him. And so he drove up that back road that you could go up to Opal and Harold's This pine knockle it'll fall.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

It's back behind there. The red, it's like a dirt road.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

It was a dirt road, yeah. So anyway, he got about halfway down it, and because I wasn't going along with everything he was saying, you know, and so he pulled the car over and uh he said, Well, he told me something like, Well, if you've got your mind made up that, you know, you're gonna leave, then I just don't want to be here anymore. And he got out of the car, went back behind the car, opened the the trunk, got a shotgun out. It was already loaded. And I wasn't watching what he was doing. I wasn't paying no attention to him, you know. I didn't know where he had gone. All of a sudden that shotgun went off at the back of the car and talk about being upset.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Did he lay down like he shot himself?

SPEAKER_03 8:04

Yeah, he he got where I couldn't see him. Wow. How long did you sit in the car before you went around?

SPEAKER_02 8:12

And he went around to check? Yeah. And then what? I don't remember what he said. Did he jump up? Or did you think he was dead? Like what happened? No, I think he jumped up when I went back there.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Oh, I gotta say something. So do you remember the time that Danny came home and crawled in the bed with you and had shaved his head?

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Oh that I remember that plainest day.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Nobody shaved their head back then.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

I remember that plainest day. He had long curly hair.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

He's hugging you and lean lip, and you thought it was somebody else in the bedroom.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Well, no, no, I woke up first. We were all in the bed. I woke up. Dad like was he was so excited. He was waiting to scare you with that bald head. He was like on his, like, he was like leaned on, you know. No, he just loved scaring everybody. He loved to scare everybody. No, that was open Harold's house, like in his in his like childhood bedroom when y'all lived there. And I just remember like I woke up first, and like if somebody shaves their head, they look like a different person. Yeah, you do not recognize somebody when they have long hair and they shave their head bald. I mean, somebody looks crazy when they shave their head bald. I didn't know who he was. Yeah. I like tapped him on the shoulder and like his bare shoulder. So this is how messed up my childhood was. That there's a guy in bed with no shirt on that I've never seen. And I tapped him on the shoulder, and he's watching mom, but I just tapped him and I was like, hey, I'm Amy, what's your name? And when I did, he started laughing. So he started laughing, and then it got worse and worse. And you know how as a kid, like if somebody's laughing, you start laughing. And um, so he was laughing more and more, and then mom woke up and she sees this person, stranger in the bed, and you just started swinging and screaming. Like you just, I don't even know what you were screaming, but you were swinging and hitting him, and the bed broke. And then like the bed, like the flats under the bed broke. We went in the floor, and then like went sideways in the floor, and I remember like somehow the the those double door closets came off the track. I'm not really sure if somebody fell into them or what happened, but then like dad, dad was like, I still didn't know it was dad. Like he was in, I figured out it was him because opal and Harold came, that's my grandparents, came to the door, and opal like was just a wreck, like with her hair and rollers, and Harold had like a bloody spot and toilet paper hanging off his face. And um, Harold was like, Danny, you know, like he was like, You look like something like you look like you should be in a mental hospital. He did, he did, and but Harold was so pissed off because he scared everybody and you were screaming like and you stomped out of the room, but you were like, I don't know what's wrong with you. That's all I remember anybody ever saying to him is I don't know what's wrong with you. Because he just did shit, and I don't know how he thought it up. I mean, like he just did. I remember like he would be hiding behind, he scared the living shit out of us constantly. Like, I mean, bad. Because I've had those urges in the past to scare the kids, but yeah, like that. I've never done it. I I love it too. Like, I've never done it. I've had to resist so hard so many times. Like, especially if it's a good opportunity. Well, I I nothing phased me back after because I was saying something about I think he blew my adrenal glands out. I couldn't even get upset. I didn't even nothing phased me. Yeah, he could grab my leg, you know, from nothing phased me, but I was happy he was too fat to fit under the bed because he would have been grabbing all the time. He could get on the side of the bed and grab you, but not under the bed. But he he scared the living shit out of everybody.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

He loved shock factor too.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Yeah, that was like his mission in life. Oh, yeah. Like always.

Jeff’s Yard Sale In Our Yard

SPEAKER_00 12:54

So I got a funny story about my brother Jeff.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Yeah, let's talk about Jeff.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Jeff was a sweet man. I lost him, we lost him.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

How long ago? Like a year? Is it been a year or more?

SPEAKER_00 13:04

More, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

How long?

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Um two? Almost two.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

So Jeff was uh maybe tell, maybe tell what happened. Should you tell that first?

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Because they you just said you lost him, like he and it was sudden, and suddenly you never really get over sudden.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

I didn't get to say goodbye.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah, and you scan your brain like what's the last thing I said, you know, like this Well, I'm sure I laughed because Losing somebody sudden is like almost everybody will have that happen in their life, you know, and it and you feel like you don't get to say goodbye, especially for some reason with Jeff it was worse. Yeah. But I don't really know what that was about.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

And Vicky and Vicky his wife, but um But in some way I always felt like that was mercy.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Yeah, like because you you know, you're gonna have to live and get he was already how old? Like 71 or 72 or three.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

He was he was uh three years younger than me.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

So he had lost his son, found him on Christmas Eve, like lost his wife, and it happened pretty quick.

SPEAKER_04 14:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

And then like he I don't know, that that that run your head, your brain. But so he died sudden and nobody got to say goodbye. That's the whole point of that.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

He had a car accident and passed away. So anyway, one of the funny I love like you said earlier about losing the pet and you replace it with happy fun news. I I kind of think that's my motto. I do that a lot.

SPEAKER_04 14:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

So when I think of my brother, I laugh. I just love my brother so much. He would take me to Pancake Day on my birthday every day when I was a little boy. You remember that? Pancake Day? Yeah. So anyway, Jeff came up to see me, and I didn't know he was coming when I lived on Blair Boulevard. You remember that?

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

So Jeff came up to see me. He came up to the side.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

That's my favorite Jeff story at there.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

So I'm asleep. I probably partied that Friday night and got home at two or three in the morning. So I'm laying in the bed, and the window was at the very front, my bedroom window is the very front of the house. And so I'm laying there and I hear people talking. It's like seven o'clock in the morning, and I hear people talking, and I'm like, Where are people in my front yard? And so I'm I'm like, and then they just wouldn't shut up. And so finally I got up and I look out the blind and I'm like, what the fuck is going on out here? My brother Jeff drove all the way up from Gats to Rainbow City where he lived, and filled his truck up with stuff and a lot of shit to have a yard sale in my front yard. Didn't even call me, didn't ask me. And I look out there and there's deer heads like on the bank in the front yard, lined up like seven deer heads. They look like they were coming out of the ground, but he's just having a yard sale in my front yard.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

And you had no idea. And it's early, right? It was in the newspaper. It was like the front page.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Thank God my tag was blurred out because it was all these dead deer heads sticking up out of the ground. And it someone took a picture and it was in the Tennessee end.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Somebody drove by and saw that. And like, yeah, I couldn't believe it was a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

And so it was the front of my house, the side of my expedition, and like the first one or two letters of the tag. And I'm like, was it called PETA that would come get you for abusing animals?

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

And so, so they they I was like, oh my god. So I walk outside and Jeff said, Hey, do you have any coffee? Oh my gosh. What the fuck are you doing? How many yards are in my house?

SPEAKER_02 16:49

He that was he didn't even seem phased by it. Like, he didn't even understand why you would be surprised.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

It was a funny story.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Oh, I love that. That's my favorite Jeff story

Debbie’s Genius And Family Surprises

SPEAKER_02 17:00

too.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

We talked about Sandy and Jeff, and then there's Debbie. So there's five kids.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Debbie, Debbie, like I always say Debbie is an American treasure. There's three of us left.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

We lost Sandy and lost Jeff. So Debbie, Kelly, Debbie, Becky now.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Yeah. So mom's the oldest, and then there's Jeff, and then Debbie, and then Sandy, and then Kelly. You're the baby.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

And then Laura.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Oh shit, I forgot about Laura.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

So Laura's four years younger than you.

unknown 17:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

So anyway.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Were you surprised? I mean, Kelly, were you surprised?

SPEAKER_00 17:38

I mean, yeah, but it's it was real. So no.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

I mean, how surprised? Like one to ten. Two. I wasn't that surprised, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah. I wasn't that surprised. And then when I found out, I started realizing okay, there's pictures on Facebook where Laura looks a little bit like mom. There's pictures where she looks a little bit like Debbie. I think so too. You can you can see both. Yeah. Like in the world.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

And Debbie lives in her house where we grew up.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

She's been in the same house her whole life, pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Well, so they moved away and then she's moved back home.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Oh, yeah. They live, yeah, that's right. They live in that other house for a while. Debbie, the weird thing about Debbie, like, I always say, like, somebody to meet Debbie and they would think she was redneck from from Gedston just because of her accent and stuff like that. But she could figure shit out better than anybody. I mean, she could figure shit out like that. You could have like a Harvard professor in the front yard and everybody be trying to solve something. Like, how do we get in this window without, you know what I mean? Like, she always has known how to do everything. Like, like our whole family, like, has been minds blown. You know, Chris thinks he knows everything. He knows a lot, but she would figure things out like nobody figured out.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Well, I usually say I'm a lot smarter than I look.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

But that's always my saying. My favorite Debbie story. She like we had our number one for amazed, and Debbie, she was like, I bet I know what it feels like. Like, and like when you have an exciting moment like that. And I'm like, what? And she said, When I get a deer in my sights, like if she's in a tree stand, you know? Like, oh, I love that story. I love that story.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

And that's her adrenaline rush.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

She's the best. She always gets things just a tiny bit off. We out another story I love about Debbie. I don't know if you know this. This happened like a couple years ago. So I take mom and Debbie. We're in LA, mom and Debbie and Lola and Chris and me, and we're at this Airbnb, and Debbie calls the liquor store. And she's like, um, hey, it's Debbie. She's like, wanting this strawberry moonshine that comes in a little bottle. But when she calls the liquor store, she's like, hey, it's Debbie. And I'm like, I don't know what they thought, but they just talked to her like they knew her. And it was so great. And then I love how she'll get the names of things just a tiny bit off. Like she calls it Airbnb instead of Airbnb. And she calls it 90-day finance instead of 90-day fiance. Like our whole family uses that from then on. I love it. I love she's the best. I love her so much. I hope she comes here. I would love to have her on a podcast. You know it. This is coming out of nowhere.

Grief, Mushrooms, And Life’s Unfairness

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Like I know it is, but I was thinking about like of everybody in our family and stuff, who like had the hardest time growing up? Like, and I was trying to think. We all had different. You were like the young, you were the oldest. Like people that are the oldest a lot of times have it the most screwed up. Like just because their parents are trying to figure everything out.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Well, if you if they have a a lot of kids, you have to help out a lot.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Yeah. You know, and and like they're young, so like they don't know how to be a parent. Because they're young. Yeah. If you're the oldest. Yeah. Oh, I thought I knew how. You thought you knew how?

SPEAKER_00 21:42

She was my mama.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Yeah, totally. Totally.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

Debbie, absolutely. Debbie aggravated the crap out of everybody. Didn't she? She really was.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

She would chase me with uh a good Alabama word, a hickory.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Why? Why? She was just mean as a snake.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

She was always trying to to she'd say, I'm gonna spank you and all this. And mother'd go to the grocery store and she was babysitting.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Debbie, if you're listening, I'm gonna spank you next.

SPEAKER_03 22:13

Well she knows it. She knows she did it. She was she was will she own up to it? I bet she will.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

So you know, I probably blocked out a lot in my childhood.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Well, that's what I was gonna say. Like okay, this is crazy, but one night I did mushrooms, and so I was thinking about like I did them like because I had heard they helped with grief, and dad died so young. I I really realized how young 49 is now. And he was actually 48, honestly. It was before he hadn't lived his 49th year, it was the night before his 49th birthday. But um, so I had heard that mushrooms help with grief, and like so I did like a bunch of mushrooms by myself, and it was actually awesome. I wouldn't recommend it because you never know what's gonna happen. Yeah, not by yourself, like expect you need somebody with you. But so that night I had this like kind of epiphany or whatever about you know how life doesn't seem fair a lot of times. Like, like if I think about like a little girl being born on the Gaza Strip, she can't go to school, she is like hungry, like just the way they grow up, it's not fair compared to you'll see people grow up with like doll houses, they never even open the box because they got so many toys. Like, so I've never I always struggled with like things not being fair, you know. Like I never understood how it could be that way. Like people have abundance and some people have nothing. And I remember thinking, like, in our family, who you know, who had the hardest time growing up, and everybody had a hard time for different reasons, but like I always felt like for you, Kelly, because it's the late 70s, early 80s, like you're growing up gay in a tiny town, and you can't be who you are, right? You

Hiding Being Gay In A Small Town

SPEAKER_02 24:27

know what I mean? Like you're having to hide it, like you had to be scared.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

I was scared. Um, and there was a time that you know I struggled with it, and you know, I dated girls, like I mentioned before, and um I played football, and then I was homecoming king, I guess, or queen.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Queen inside.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Inside, yeah. Yes, give me that crown, bitch.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

I want the crown and the baton. Yes, and the baton.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

So, anyway, no, I had a great childhood. Um, but growing up gay in a small town, Hoax Bluff, you know, I had to hide it. I really did. I had to push it down into the club. Were you scared? I was never scared, but I was a masculine guy. Yeah, but still am, I think.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

So you weren't scared of like other guys and kids at your school finding out or nothing.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

No.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Because I was masculine. I was messing around with some of them.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

I love it. And they were hiding it. Of course.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

Well, they weren't. You know, they were experimenting, I should say. Yeah. But anyway, growing up gay like that in a small town um was tough. And then, of course, I moved away. Alabama too. Then I move away, and next thing you know, I'm dancing on the bar. I'm just kidding. So it's back to that story. So, but it was still tough. I was struggling trying to figure out why people wouldn't like me for who I am. Yes. And why wouldn't my friends love me if I told them that I was gay?

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

And I had one friend in Birmingham, a really close friend. And um, so anyway, he was, of course, straight, gorgeous guy, masculine. And when I told him that I was gay, he ended up like hauling off and hitting me.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

No. He was pissed. No.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

And he said, No, no, you're not gay. You're not, you're not gay. I'm telling you. You you don't say that. I don't ever want to hear you say that. Because he loved, we told each other we loved each other as friends. Never touched each other. We were like brothers, we loved each other, we were we dated girls together, but I knew I was gay. Yeah. And so, but when I told him, he was pissed off because it was just not accepted.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

And he didn't want that for me because it was hard. And back then, everyone was dying of AIDS.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

So the AIDS And nobody knew what AIDS was, everybody was scared.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

And I grew up through that era, which is a a whole nother episode if you it really is.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

And I I think we should get a couple people on to talk about it because it it really I saw a lot of patients that was HIV AIDS because no one else would see them.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Yeah, that's what he told me.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

And that was common, you know.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

So anyway, back to growing up. Um it was it was tough, struggled. I also moved away from Union City good year. And I remember calling mother and daddy and telling them I love you very much. You've been fantastic parents, and I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me. And they're like, What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Yeah, what's wrong?

SPEAKER_00 27:35

Yeah, what's wrong? Well, I had a pistol.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Oh no, Kelly.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

I did. So um it's hard to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Well, but you know what? This is the kind of stuff that helps people and it's important.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

And then had the gun, I was gonna kill myself, and it's hard to talk about. How old? Um early twenties. And um and I and my dad and mom came to see me. So they drove up. Yeah. They they got there pretty quick. I mean, it's a long trip, but they got there quick. And I just remember breaking down. I didn't tell them I was gay. Like I said, mothers always know. Yeah, always. Dad probably knew, but I just said it was tough. You know, I said I said I'm just not happy. And so you figure out that um you gotta love yourself first.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

And that's the main thing. Yeah, and so um I I said, you know what? Fuck everybody else. Yeah. If you don't love me for who I am, yeah, that's your problem.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

And I said it.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

And you're missing out.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

And you're missing out. And I said, I'm a nice guy. I've always been a sweet man. I care for people, I've always done the right thing. Always. And I thought, you know what? This is so sad that you have to live a life that is another thing.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

And then you're then you the light bulb went off, and I'm like, fuck everybody else. Yeah, it's their problem. Yeah, it's not my problem. This is my life and my one and only life. I was born this way, and I am a good man. And I was like, I had to tell myself to love yourself first. Yeah. And if you take if you can't love yourself first, then you're screwed all the way around. Why would you expect someone else to love you?

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

And so right then and there, I made that decision and it changed my life. How and how old I lived.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

How old were you?

SPEAKER_00 29:26

24, 25. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

And it that's a long time to wait to do this.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

Yeah, and there's a lot of children that have teen suicide because of um being gay or lesbian or trans or anything.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

And that I feel like I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel like that that these days, right now, that trans the way people treat people who are trans is like how they used to pe treat people who were gay.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Totally.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Do you feel that way? Yeah. Like, and I think some of it like is not understanding, you know, like not like people just are scared of everything. They're scared because they're different. You know, if somebody it can be anything.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Anything you didn't grow up with.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Yeah, that they don't know about, they're scared. And they're probably taught that maybe.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

That's what I was gonna say. You're taught that. That's right. Yeah. You're taught that, and you're taught um a little kid would never do that. Kids love and they just they want to play with everybody. Yeah, they don't they're that's taught. Hate is taught.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

Yeah, and so especially racism, too. That's what I was gonna say. Racism.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

And so growing up, I'm 62 years old, and um, I feel like that I've seen a lot in my life, you know, and a lot of my friends are older, and I've lost a lot of older friends in their 90s, even, who grew up not even talking about it. My friend Betty

Found Family And Quiet Acceptance

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Smith that I mentioned earlier.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

So she knew like she was like my second mother. Yeah, she knew, yeah. She knew women know. Plus she saw, you know, guys coming home with me sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 31:11

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Oops. So anyway, um, so she told me after I was there for a year or two, she said, you know, I just want to tell you something. And she said, Um, I don't see you dating girls, and I just want you to know that I'm okay with it. And she said, I just want you to know that you're it's okay and you're a good person, and she she coached me like that. But then she turned around and said, Because I mentioned earlier she was at Juilliard in New York, and she said uh her best friend jumped off a bridge in New York because he was gay.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Oh my gosh. And she yeah, that happened so much, so much.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

She said, I just want you to know that you're okay, it's okay, I'm here for you. And she was what she was an older lady then. Yeah. But yet she had a uh a friend that was gay back in the what 50s, 40s.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

She seemed a little bit more like she seemed a little bit more, I don't know if sophisticated is the right word.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

She was educated.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

She, yeah, she was a little more enlightened than most people in Gedsden.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

And open-minded. Yeah, so she was accepting of and she did.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

I figured she made a big difference in your life, just like with the painting. Can you do this? Can you do it? I mean, I always thought she had a big influence on you. And 10 years is a long time. And pe we have people come into our lives that like, you know, that kind of change our path.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

It's so good, isn't it? Yeah, it's so good.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Mother passed away after I moved in there. She got sick and passed away. So Betty, Betty kind of stepped up and was there as a mother figure a lot.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

We she was like a mother to you and you were like a son to her.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Exactly. Yeah. It worked.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

And it worked perfect. And I get it, she didn't want anybody to live there after you lived there. I mean, like, because it's weird. You get older and you look back at stuff and and you just see things so different.

Regrets, Happiness, And Shooting Stars

SPEAKER_02 33:18

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 33:19

If I could change anything about myself and look back in time, what would I change? And I want you to answer that question first.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Me first.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Nothing. I always think that people ask me that question, and I always think I always have that. Somebody's like, what do you wish you knew when you moved to Nashville? And I'm like, nothing. Because if I had known, I would have been scared shitless. You know what I mean? Like, what do I wish I could have changed about myself? Like, I don't know. I feel like I feel like men have a bigger regret button than women do. Like women worry more. And I I feel like men like have I wish I'd done this different. Yes. Now women do that too, but women worry a lot about the future. You know what I mean? Like, but what do I wish I could change about myself? Is that the question?

SPEAKER_00 34:16

Yes. If you can look back, what would you probably change, if anything?

SPEAKER_02 34:20

I don't know. I don't think I don't really have anything because I feel like every bad thing led to me learning or led to something good.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

I I feel the same way. What I was gonna say is I couldn't be happier than I am right now. I'm healthy.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

You're headed towards my next my next question.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

So I'm healthy, I'm happy. I feel like that um if I changed something in my past, well, one thing I wish is mother would have lived. That's oh, of course.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

And I didn't realize you're the age now she was when she died. I know. And you can look at you and see how young and vibrant and healthy. It's it's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

So, you know, but if you change something, then I wouldn't have moved to Nashville.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

I wouldn't have met Ira.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

I wouldn't have the gallery. I mean, there's all these things that you change one little thing about your life. Yeah. And it changes your whole direction. It does. And I feel like that I say every day, and we make a toast to each other, Ira and I, all the side all the time. And I wish everyone as the happy as I am and healthy as I am. And you can only wish that on other people. And I do that all the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

That you're you're headed all in the area that my question was gonna be. And the question was so say when you were like whatever loneliest age you had, like between like 16 to 24. Like that moment sounds pretty desperate at 24. But so whatever your loneliest, darkest time was, would you have ever dreamed you could have the life you have now?

SPEAKER_00 35:59

No.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

You you couldn't.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

No. I just could I'm sorry, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Is it almost alien like? If you look at where I am, and I would just immediately we'll show you a picture of his car, and he don't want me to. He's got two cars that are unreal. He's shit, you got five cars that are unreal.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Anyway, what just bounced in my mind was the wishes we had going over the Mont Eagle and we had shooting stars and we all and we both my wishes came true.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

We both just didn't have shit. You know what I mean? We didn't like I better fill that story in. We were driving from Alabama to Nashville. You'll probably remember this different things about it in different ways. Like, all I really remember is we were in a convertible. I guess it was mine.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

You and Corey.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

I guess it was my convertible.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

Like, so we're driving from Gedston, Alabama to Nashville. We're going over Mon Eagle, and at the time I didn't really understand what was happening, but it was a meteor shower. It was like because there's the Persids or whatever in August, in like August 11 and 12, usually there'll be like so many shooting stars, but I didn't even know about that stuff back then. Yeah, I had no clue, and so we're driving and we were talking about our dreams and talking about how we wished our life could be and all that stuff, and we're coming over Mon Eagle, and then we just saw one shooting star after the other.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

You grabbed the first one, yeah. You said, That's mine, yeah. I remember that.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

And my life was so messed up at the time. I mean, it was talk about you know what's really crazy about life is one little thing could have gone different. I know, and fucked your whole life up. And you hate that word, but it is true. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

But your shooting star, you wished on it and it came true.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

Mine came true, yeah. And Corey's somewhat came true too. But we all had different wishes because we talked about it later. And mine my wish was I wanted to be a successful artist and meet a wonderful man, and I did both. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

I remember when I met Chris, I didn't even know that that was possible. Yeah. You know, because we're best friends, we're still best friends. Like we could talk forever, I feel like. And um, we've made so much music together, raised these kids together. We're right, like Lola graduates on Monday. We've never really been alone. We've had kids, like I was pregnant when we got married. I mean, we've had kids the whole time, the whole time. Because that was a really messed up time because I found out I was pregnant two weeks after dad died. And so

“Amazed” Hits Big And Music Shifts

SPEAKER_02 38:59

I'm dealing with this insane grief from sudden death, and then then finding out like I've got this life growing inside me at the same time. And um, that was and and celebrating the biggest hit of my career, which was insane. Um, like that song just went and went and went. But like that, I just never knew that was out there uh option.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Speaking of that song Amazed, do you remember when I called you from the cell phone in a gay bar and amazed was on the pop charts? And we're yeah, we're I'm dancing with I don't know who in a gay bar in Nashville, and we're dancing, and it's like one o'clock in the morning, and I'm like, Amy, your song's on the pop charts. And they had a different everything.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Yes, yes, and I love that version. I had never heard about it, and I'd never heard it.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

Yeah, it was all over the world.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

Yeah, that was a hit everywhere. They like, they I almost said transcribe. They what is it called when they shit, when they change the language and they make it oh my god, huh?

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Don't ask me out.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

You know, when they if something's in English and then they what to French, um translate. Translate like the lyrics when they translated the lyrics, like some of them were so far from what that song said. You would listen to it and you would just be like, What the hell are they talking about?

SPEAKER_00 40:40

Just take the money, baby.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Yeah, it was insane. Like it was insane.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

Did you get money from the techno version? I hope so.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

Probably. You don't get money anymore from nothing with something.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Somebody can get the money if you didn't.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Yeah, we probably got money back then. Nowadays, like the guy that you don't get paid worth of shit nowadays.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

Well, how do songwriters writers make it now?

SPEAKER_02 41:03

I don't really know exactly. Like people can stream online. It's free, it's pretty much free on YouTube. Like, well, actually, they're flagging people for copyrights now on YouTube, but it just was different. People bought records. Yeah, they bought music now.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

They're like tower records back in the day.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Oh, I love tower records so much. Oh, I love tower records. I still play records. You do? Vinyl? Yeah, yeah. Oscar, he got that record deal and he's excited because he's gonna make vinyl, you know. Like it's actually because for them, they can't hold it in their hands. Like for us, we grew up with you know, with eight-track. I didn't have eight-track so much as you had eight-track and cassettes and then disc, and we always could hold it. Yeah, but I was gonna ask like one last question. So,

The Advice We’d Leave Behind

SPEAKER_02 41:58

mom, what would your advice be? Like if you had one thing to say and you were just gonna give one piece of advice like about life, like to to somebody like say, I don't want to say this actually, but say that it was 30 years from now and you were on your last day, and you you had one piece of advice you wanted to give people, what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 42:24

I've always thought it was important how you treat people. And I've always tried to live by that uh Bible verse that says do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. And I I just think the world would be a whole different place if everybody treated other people the way they wanted to be treated.

SPEAKER_02 42:49

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

That's important.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

That's pretty much true. That's probably if somebody asked me what's the best thing I learned from you, there's a bunch, but one of them, definitely in the top ten, is one of my favorite, and I think your best qualities, and one of my favorite qualities about you, is you were never judgmental.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

She got that from mother too.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Yeah, I know. Mama was that way. She was never judgmental. I remember people, Amy. It's true. And I remember people down the street from Mama talking about, well, so-and-so, Amy Ruth, I think, was talking about so-and-so did this and they did this. And I remember her saying something about it was something to do with like the grape, something to do with a grapevine. I'll have to find that quote, but like how mind your own business pretty much. And um, but I think that's one of the bet there's a bunch of great things I've learned from you, mom. But one of them, I love that you were never judgmental. And I really feel like that was important to me with our. kids, you know, was very important to me. And I always was like, if somebody's getting made fun of, if somebody's different, you know, then you need to be their friend. Yeah. Because they don't have any friends.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

Same way.

SPEAKER_02 44:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

But at school I was like that too.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

It's a big thing. I mean being judgmental, being judgmental will fuck your own life up. It it it hurts you more than it'll ever hurt them. It's an ugly thing. And and usually if you are judgmental you're being ugly to people because of it. But that's one of one of the best things. And I feel like with you mom you've always kind of felt like anything was possible. Like you've never been that phased. Do you know what I mean? Like you've got two kids who wrote hit songs but you weren't phased by any of it. Yeah. And I remember you bought me that word processor like you believed in me. That's a big big thing.

SPEAKER_03 44:57

I did I did Amy I you did. I always felt like that you were going to be something special. Oh I did. Oh my gosh. That's so sweet. And I and I do with Corey too, but in a different way. Well Corey's one of the most talented people I've ever known in my life.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

He's a we haven't talked enough about Corey but Corey's got a different path.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

That's the thing with him he's like a Jack Kirawak kind of guy. I really want him to be on this podcast. I need to have him on here because he can really help people send me a text every morning at 5 30 I'm up at 5 30 but it's his kind of a daily devotion sermon of the day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Because he's he's very I love Corey so much. That is the miracle his life I love him so much too he's so I always say he's you're talented Amy but Corey is so talented.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

Corey is a deep whale you know what I mean like he I might play to at the end of this like because I can play demos I can't play records but I can play demos and probably my favorite demo I've ever heard is um Corey's song that's the demo of the George Strait number one. It's unreal I mean that song like my friend Laura Quaid she said it was the most played song of the year in her phone. Wow because that's how good it is and Corey like his voice he's got a voice like that could be a famous star. Yeah. And Corey also like we're just different like Corey and me are different in weird ways. Like Corey and I actually his are more admirable than mine. Like I think mine might be fear based and I don't know what his are but like for me Chris is always like you have fucking problems like like I just always am worried about the future but I think it's good because dad died homeless. He made

Fear, Money, Drive, And Corey

SPEAKER_02 47:07

millions but he died homeless. He didn't even have a house and that seemed to have a bigger impact on me than it did Corey like because I'll feel like I don't have anything and I'll be just freaking out and Chris always tells me you know you're worth this if we sold this and did this and did this you know but I don't feel that way I guess I just worry that I that I could die homeless. You know that's a big fear that I took from dad just well he did. I mean he made so much money and he died with nothing and live barely getting through paying the rent at that cheap hotel. Yeah and um so that's that has I'm I'm like probably a thousand times more driven than Corey. Corey can walk through life he could be cool if he lost it all if he lost it all it don't matter he don't care. If he lost it all he'd still give somebody the shirt off his back that's the beautiful thing about Corey. He and Corey's the kind of guy too like no telling the lives he saved like Cory will stop if he sees somebody on the stairs crying like outside Goodwill or somewhere he'll sit down next to him and talk to him. You know what I mean? And he's he's got a side to him that's so beautiful and amazing. I know it he sure does and like he doesn't live by that fear. I don't really know why he's so smart. He's insane he's insanely smart. You know who else is insanely smart? Levi. Yeah Levi like Chris knows everything. I mean Chris is so smart. He really is smart. I don't know he won't watch this so it don't matter if he hears me bragging but Chris really like if you're in a room with 20 people he's gonna know if there's a question he'll know always and what's beautiful is that Levi no shit Chris no I mean every time we sit down at dinner and start talking about something Levi just knows things. You know what I mean? It's like how do you even know that he probably reads a lot he knows so much and like um it that's what's crazy about kids like every kid's different they can be in the same family but they're so different. And like with Corey and me like if Corey had my drive he would be the most famous person in the world because Corey really does have this endless well of talent.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Yeah you know what I mean yet yeah no it's not he'll still do anything he wants to and I I see Corey um oh with that focus yeah I don't mean that I don't mean it's over that I you didn't say that I'm saying I see Corey it ain't over yet because I see Corey's future as as uh having some number one songs.

SPEAKER_02 50:12

All he's got to do is want to do it. I know because he's got the talent Chris will tell you too that Corey Chris and me both always say Corey is the only one that I know of that can just lay me out with a song. He'll just fuck me up with songs. You know what I mean? Just he's like a Chris Christofferson to me that's how I see him. That's how a lot of people see him that know his music but when I talk about drive I mean like I'll write 3,000 songs to get three as good as Corey does and he might write 20.

SPEAKER_00 50:49

You know what I mean like I may have songs you've never heard that Corey wrote that's on CDs at the house.

SPEAKER_02 50:55

You may have about five CDs. You might yeah I have a lot of his songs he's amazing that he made he's got so many songs though that Blake number one party that we were all at I was sitting next to Blake and Blake Shelton? Yeah Blake Shelton and um Blake said what about that song he was talking about the song of Corey's about Break the Record and that song I don't know if y'all know that song but it is so good. And Blake was like I love that song talking about break the record well because it got recorded by somebody else and um but it's a great song it's talking about a little kid and I'm gonna break the record like I'm gonna be the best there ever was I like the song I'm gonna fly that he wrote too shit that's my favorite I could just do a whole video of songs Corey wrote he don't have any music out online none. I mean we we have begged him to put stuff on Spotify but he don't have anything out well he's got a call in for something else right now and I feel like when it's time he'll he'll do it yeah well he's got to go by where he's at and what he feels yeah that's right it ain't gonna do him no good you know what I mean like that's the thing and he can always put those songs out anytime. That's right. And he can write new songs like I wouldn't be surprised like I read those things he sends like in the mornings because he sends them to me and a lot of times I'm like oh that's a good song you know what I mean like when I read it and I just hope he keeps sending those things I pray for him every day and it's like I'll be worried if he's if I don't get one of those morning devotionals like I'm definitely gonna interview him on here because he is a walking miracle in my mind. Me

Judgment, Compassion, And What Kids See

SPEAKER_02 52:58

too I mean the way he's changed his life and everybody's dealing with this shit. Every single family is dealing with this. It's a problem it doesn't matter who it is. It and what's crazy is like the richest families like the trust fund kids and the trailer park kids have the same exact problems. They're just different drugs. They're more expensive you know and cheaper whatever they can get their hands on. And um like that's the thing like I think he's such an inspiration you know like changing his whole life. Yeah but uh Corey you're talking about judging Corey's the Corey doesn't judge anybody nobody he's the best I've ever seen yeah he doesn't judge anybody he doesn't judge anybody took that after you I guess yeah he he's probably in our whole family he doesn't judge anybody the most he has friends from every walk of life yeah and Corey said like when he what like when he was missing some teeth he said boy you want to see somebody's true character wow go up to him and start talking to them like without a perfect smile. Yeah he said you'll see through people so fast and everybody needs to listen to that you need to be good to people because you don't know what people have been through. Everybody ain't as lucky as you are that's right you know what I mean Lola said something the other day that jolted me like that was one of the best things I have ever heard we were in Gedston and something came up at the table we were at like Chili's or old Charlie's or some fancy restaurant in Gedston and um like we were sitting at the table and Chris said something about somebody not being able to read and Lola said the only reason somebody doesn't know how to read is because nobody ever taught them.

unknown 55:06

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 55:06

And I was just like that blew my mind it's like people judge people for not being able to read. Yeah and it's because somebody never taught them yeah because they were little kids just like all of us and they weren't that lucky to get taught how to read that that just broke my heart and it was so good and I love learning stuff from the kids because I do all the time and that was that was the latest one that really got me. Yeah okay Kelly you end us off what would be your advice if you had one last thing to say to people what would be your advice my advice let's say I'm 99 years old.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Yeah exactly and I'm still dancing yes um dance like no one's watching my advice would most likely be I like this saying and I heard a 96 year old man told me this and I loved it. And he heard it from Clint Eastwood don't let the old man in. Don't you love it?

SPEAKER_02 56:13

Oh I love it.

SPEAKER_00 56:15

So don't let the old man in meaning when you start thinking you're old you're gonna be old. Yeah I just think um I'm pretty happy go lucky and I feel like I wake up happy I go to bed happy. I like that I do too and so I think when you don't let that old man in and you kick up your heels and you dance and you you have that margarita and drink a martini whatever makes you happy and you know whatever. And just give back in life and that's the main thing give back in life.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

I always try to give it that's the best feeling every but when you don't let that old man in and you try to stay young at heart and um just live the best life that's you know that's your choice advice it's your choice like there was this poster I saw and it was like it had like eyes on each side and it had a it had like a like a mouth you know and it's like your choice so one side is a frown and one side is a smile and that would be a good thing to hang up like in the house but it's so true I can't stand it when I'm around somebody in their 50s and they're like well now that I'm an old blah blah blah you know what I mean it's like now that I'm now that my days are over whatever I'm like get the fuck away from me that's all I want to say I don't want anything to do with anybody like that.

SPEAKER_00 57:49

A lot of people um think their life is a lot older than they are they do.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

And you can look at somebody you can see somebody who's 90 and a young fun spirit and you can see somebody who's 40 and already gave up on all of it.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

I know both I know them both and they look older and they look and the older one that thinks younger looks younger.

SPEAKER_02 58:12

Exactly it's so true. It's so true and like all my friends like I got my girlfriends that I came up with but I got so many young friends and I think it's good to have friends of all ages because like you it'd be great to have a friend that's like way older. I do or a few yeah because how you gonna learn if you don't have somebody who's lived I have some of our our best friends we've uh lost Ken but Carol um is just beautiful and she's I think 85 and she looks fantastic and she gets around great.

SPEAKER_00 58:53

She's a fashionista and she we're her best friends and so and you look up to them and you want to be like them.

SPEAKER_02 59:00

It's a whole different thing.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Right well I don't want to be like Carol she's a little too feminine for me but but but she's got great qualities she has a zest for life.

SPEAKER_02 59:11

Yeah exactly that's what you never want to lose is a zest for life. That's perfect. Like I have friends that are young you know like that 30 and I have friends that are like 70s that like I just you learn from the ones that are 70 and you try to teach the ones that are 30. You try to tell them like don't do that. Like that's it's gonna end this way because you know the road and around the corner of where that's headed and you want to help them but then the ones that are you can't learn from somebody if they hadn't been through something.

Don’t Let The Old Man In

SPEAKER_00 59:50

Exactly yeah well my friend that you do you remember remember me talking about uh Thelma?

SPEAKER_01 59:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

So Thelma was an older lady it's I'll try to make it quick but Thelma I met Thelma when I worked at JJ Ashley's in Franklin and um so Thelma came in and she looked like mother. She looked a lot like mother y'all heard of this story but so I told Lisa I said um I think I need a hug from this lady. She looks just like mother and I don't have her anymore so I went out there and I said excuse me ma'am I said can I have a hug and she said well why do you want a hug from me and I said well you look like my mother and I said I don't have her anymore. And so she gave me a hug and then she said well can I have a hug from you and I said sure she said I don't have my son anymore. Oh my gosh can I we became friends for gosh twenty years. I mean we were friends for a long time and so um Thelma was an older lady but we would sit and talk about stuff from I mean she was in her late eighties and nineties and we would talk about things and I would listen because she was she lived it. With she lived everything she would talk about going down to the Union station the train station and waiting on her husband to come back from You mean in Nashville in Nashville from war. She worked at Oak Ridge and helped build the atomic bomb. Oh my God when she was doing that that they made her tell everyone she was making green paint because it was a secret. They were building the atomic and they kept that secret yes so someone of that era and that age saw airplanes they they were there for the car you know cars starting out she's still alive she passed away.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:44

When?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:45

She passed away about four years ago so she still saw the computer and all the stuff she saw the TV she and I were very close. I would go by and she would say Kelly come drink a beer with me and she'd drink about that much just a little bit but um so I would go by on my way home all the time and stop and get a sonic or something and she loved it. Yeah and so um she was my best one of my best friends honestly and we were so different. And she's always the different ones that your best friends bring oh I loved her and so this is a funny thelma story. She said come by my uh niece is here with one of her friends visiting and her niece was still 78 or 80. Yeah yeah and so I went by there and and I'm there and they're drinking and they they were drinking wine and I walk in and she's like there you are come on in and blah blah blah and so I get in there and they're playing records and Thelma was a little tipsy and she's like Kelly dance for us and I'm like I'm not gonna dance for you old cougars and I said that and Thelma goes I know what a cougar is the guy that the Italian restaurant called us cougars and told us what they were and I thought that was awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:02

Oh I love having friends older I want to be that older friend by the way me too I hope when I'm I want to be like an old lady friend you know what I mean like because like people get self-conscious about their age around young people but honestly if you're just real with younger people like you are not doing that right you know what I mean like because we were around somebody like this week that's like crazy rich and super famous but they need help you know what I mean and they're not gonna get it from anybody younger that's for sure and it's gonna take somebody older to just be like wait a minute you're doing so much of this wrong you know what I mean people will tell you the truth. That's the best thing I would say that's the best thing about being over 50 and you don't give a shit anymore. Yeah like you don't like I don't care they always make that joke about like an old lady like a real old lady at Target counting out pennies they don't give a shit how many people are in line they're just gonna do what they're doing. Thank

Closing Love And Gratitude

SPEAKER_02 1:04:17

you for watching and I love this episode and I'm so happy I have it and I love these two as much as I love anybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:26

I love you too