My Wife Tells a Secret

A very special guest and someone who plays a huge part in my life joins the show. My beautiful bride, Haley, sits down for a raw interview about our careers and how they shaped up the way the did. Many twists and turns in this episode that will give you a better understanding of just a little of what we do. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today I have a very special guest with me sitting in the studio, and I would like to introduce my beautiful wife, Haley.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Thank you very much. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

You're very welcome. Uh, thank you for being on the show.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Today we're going to talk about our extracurricular life and things that uh we've gotten involved with over the past few years. Uh, a lot of it out of necessity for a lot of us with what happened during COVID and making life changes and the maybe some of those changes that just kind of happened to us, and you have to adapt and overcome, just you know, like life. And so we both worked regular jobs prior to us um dating, and then COVID. You know, we started dating at the beginning of COVID.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

And um and we had regular jobs.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

I had a gym job, so I was working in a gym, and you guys know during COVID that was like the first thing chopped on the list.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Was the gyms.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yep. And I was working on a military base, and that was the next thing. Once Biden got in office, you know, like all that uh the mass mandates and then the vaccination requirements, which of course I did not take part in. And so um I was forced to resign, and then you know, your job just dissolved because gyms all of a sudden closed.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

They were bad now. Gyms were seen as like a terrible place to be in during this time, yeah. Like a death center or something instead of a life center.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

It's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:37

And you had spent your life dedicated to the health and vitality of not just yourself but your clients. And then all of a sudden that's gone.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

And in a in a almost in like an instant as well, you know. Once they I remember when they um uh it was in March because I remember Governor Abbott was doing his big um press announcement in March of what what Texas was gonna do first. Right. And I remember that was one of the first things that that he announced was salons um and gyms and places like that, closed quarter places were going to be closed. And um, you know, we had actually just opened up a massive new building for our gym, the gym that I was working at. We went from a little maybe 1,300 square foot to a 30,000 square foot place. So um it was a very uh big change, and then a very big change after that. Like you couldn't even use this place. Um, you couldn't train your clients, you couldn't, you know, you had to be very sneaky parking. We I remember we had um after the first two weeks of it, like we had the old people start coming back and people would just like park where you couldn't see from the street. And um, I remember one of the 80-year-olds that would come work out, he was like, you know, I just don't want to die alone in my house. Like I'd rather just come to the gym and keep living my life and then I'll go from there. So sad.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yeah, so sad. And actually, many people did needlessly die alone when they fell into all that BS.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Um, so so then what happened?

SPEAKER_00 3:11

So then life changed. Um, you know, I went from working before the sun up after the sundown at the gym. I worked very hard. Personal training, you know, you have to, it's whatever, however many clients you can get is you grind it out. So um that's what I was doing and not making very much money and paying most of it to the government at the end of the day. And um, I remember we started posting and um people were then interested, like in my panties and stuff. And so that was kind of the first thing before OnlyFans, before anything, we would just share on Reddit. Um, and then people started asking for my panties. So that was a no-brainer. Um, especially when you're selling, I think I was selling my panties back then for like $45 a piece, and um people were buying them. And so that was pretty that was a pretty cool shift to be able to make money on something so insanely crazy that I'm wearing every day, anyways. Um and having to worry less about those clients that I'm not training anymore and like or being at the gym. If you're not at the gym, you're not clocking your hours, which equals money in my you know, head uh at that time. And so yeah, it was really nice to just like make a little extra money selling panties and um it just grew from there, kind of well, you know, it grew from there, and then um I think what made us really blow up into what panty nectar is is those anonymous letters to my mom. And then I think after that, that set the track for like, okay, we're fucking doing this. People relate to us a lot. Um, people relate to some of the challenges that we're going through a lot, being ostracized by society for what you do as grown adults. And so I think from there, then it just like kind of turned into a platform and like an actual voice, like painting nectar became something much bigger at that point, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Yeah, yeah, 100%. And it sounds like the the ability to to make money while during during COVID. Yes, you know, which your like I said, your job had literally dissolved, right? And it wasn't just um like, oh, the gyms are shut down, like no, like they were arresting people and shit. Yes, right, like completely just like draconian measures that um definitely did not agree with, but uh it doesn't matter if you agree with it at that point, you just have to adapt and live. And okay, what's what's the world around us? And here we are in this in this present moment. And how do you think has shifted a ton at that point?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

I feel like society had shifted. Um, you could no longer, if you if you were someone that really didn't believe in the shutting down of gyms and parks and that taking away people's ability to be healthy was a healthier um outcome than what you were doing. Um society looked at you very differently. I remember um these people in when we lived in Florida, it this was well into COVID's already, like I think this this had to have been 2021. So like COVID's going, but it's kind of to the point where like, is it happening? What's what's happening? Like, people are dying on ventilators, but you're telling me I'll kill my neighbor if I'm not wearing a mask. And I remember um going to get on the elevator with these people and their dog, mind you, they had a giant golden poodle. And uh, I of course see that they're wearing a mask. And I go to get in the elevator and they said, excuse me, can you please um take the next one? And I was just so I couldn't even think of that moment because I was so taken back that I was just like, that did not just happen to me. Like, we're well past this point. We know what the true information is at this point, or at least more of it.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Well, we know it's not true, and what's not true is the bullshit that they're telling us, right? Which is we've come to find out that which is just about everything that, and not to get off on tangents about the media and politics, but it's all a bunch of BS, right? And and I think that many people had known this before, yeah, before COVID. Um, and those people were referred to as conspiracy theorists. Yes. And then during COVID, people started opening their eyes to see that, well, wait a second. I understand, you know, like, hey, everybody's scared at the beginning, and you know, no one wants to die. I remember when the first case came from came into the United States and all of that, and like that was scary thinking, oh crap, it's here on the homeland, and like we don't want this disease spreading. Okay, like I get it. Like, but then you start seeing a few weeks into it, and when the politicians start making their positions, and you see, oh, well, wait a second, this person's making this about politics, yeah, and this person's making this about politics. Yeah, and so and and then you start thinking, well, wait a second, if it is what they say it is, and you know, it it hit me when I realized that as they started shutting everything down, how is this all going to reopen? What is the path to reopening? Because if if the reasoning is, and this this was the reasoning, that we will we will take all measures to stop one case, right? Because one case can spread into the millions and then the rest of the world, and I get it. But if that's the logic, yeah, and they were taking all these measures to stop one case prior to these cases really even happening or it becoming widespread, then as it becomes more widespread, and you realize, well, wait a second, this thing's as contagious as the common cold. And and and even according to their own statistics, tens of millions of people have contracted it. Yeah. And you're telling me we must stay shut down.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Well, when do we reopen? Well, you don't. And but what it did is it was a reconditioning of people's minds during that. Everybody, 99% of the people swallowed it hook, line, and sinker, and they did whatever the whatever the government told them to do, and they sat there and they yelled at you as you didn't wear a mask, and as you exercise your right as a free person to just live your life, you know, as they were closing down boat ramps. Yeah. So you can't take your boat out on the open freaking water.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Right? Like there's a much bigger thing at play.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

So there was this huge shift in society. Um, I think that was even the same uh December that Biden came on his uh State of the Union speech or something and told people we were going to be the cause of many people dying and there being a very cold, death-filled winter. So you have this really interesting shift happening in society. And what's so funny about training and sex work is they're almost very similar. Um, people hire you as a trainer, uh, believe it or not, most of the time just to talk about their fucking problems. And so you're training these people and you're getting them healthy, but you're also um kind of a therapist. And so what was so interesting about transitioning over to sex work was I was doing the same thing. These people still wanted someone to talk to about their problems, but now I could do it from the comfort of my home outside of this crazy fucked up society, which I did not want any part of. Um, and so those, it's kind of funny, like it's very similar to training, very similar to training. And COVID was a really bad thing that happened, in my opinion, uh, in in a general sense of the overall thing. Um, but sex work provided me the space to do everything I was doing before just at home, which was kind of a big blessing. Yeah, a huge blessing.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yeah. And then as um as the free state of Texas closed down, yeah, and all these people that out here claimed to love liberty started fucking reporting their neighbors.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

We had talked about moving to Florida in the the previous year and the fall when we saw because Governor Abbott, they did that stuff back in like the spring of 2020, and we saw the shift that was taking place in uh Texas and Florida, and or just you know, Florida was kind of like the one of the very few places, and people don't understand that. Even people around here, like even you know, our own families, they don't get that. Yeah, they don't understand that, like, oh, you pee like I tell them, oh, I grew up, I was born, we were born and raised in Texas, yeah, and everybody around here claims to be fuck liberty-loving Americans and Texans, but they're the first to freaking crumble. Yeah, surprisingly, Florida was not like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

And a small part of Louisiana as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Remember, we went to that cafe and we were like, this is fucking nuts in here. They had that place jam-packed, and we had never seen anything like that since the start of COVID. You're six feet apart and you're hardly anyone into a room, and like we walk into this Louisiana cafe, and it's like everyone's so happy to see each other, and they're hugging each other, and they're walking back in the kitchen, and they're doing all these things. Like, that was so refreshing.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Along with Florida. Florida was the same way. Uh in Florida, like, you kind of just did whatever you wanted to do, and no one really lived your life normally, and no one really gave a shit. And it's like you want to wear a mask. Well, you kind of look fucking stupid, but sure, you can wear your mask walking down the beach if you want to. Yeah. And you hardly saw that, but people just live their lives.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

It's like because they were out there getting sunshine and fresh air.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

And not worried about it.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Even the homeless. I mean, I remember the homeless being so everyone's just so happy and so truly kind of healthy. So believe it or not, oddly to say, for a homeless person that's out on the street, but um yeah, that Florida sunshine hit different.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

So after I got canned from my job for not wearing a mask because I physically wasn't able to, I we decided, and then there were some things that happened in my personal life that I had completely no control over. Yeah. And we had been planning to move to Florida. We were planning to move to Florida in September of that year, the fall of that year. I remember that I was thinking, okay, because I started looking for jobs out there because I was working for the government, and it's like, oh, you could just find a job out there and get transferred, but wouldn't be until you know the fall of 2021. And um, and then you know, all that stuff happened all at the same time. And within like a week or two, we're just like, screw it, like, why be here when we could be out there living our lives? And and if we need to to come back and forth, then we just come back to Texas.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Mind you, we were in Corpus Christi, Texas. Yeah, so if that fucking rings to anything, there is nothing going on in Corpus Christi, Texas. You've got Cole Park, and that's like the only thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

So we were definitely not living a life um that truly made us happy and that made us fulfilled in a sense. Um, and Florida changed all of that. Like Florida was, I have never I've been to like maybe Pensacola, but I've never I had never been to Florida. I remember I was so pregnant, and you're like, let's check this out, Miami. Let's check Miami out. And I'm like, I am six months, seven months pregnant. So we settled on Florida. Um, and it's so funny, even the same apartment like we wanted to be in, Condo, we ended up making that happen, and like we're in that place. And um, we're right there on A1A, and life was so good, so amazing. Growing our family and being in the sunshine every single day. It is, unless it rains for the two hours that it rains during the day. Two or four. Other than that, it's it's sunny and it's amazing, and the best food you could ask for. So you're like eating so good, and you're not sacrificing your morals to go eat lunch somewhere. Like it was oh, paradise. Yeah, I still feel that way. Even when we went back a few months ago, I'm like, there's no other word other than this is paradise here. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Yeah. So since Florida and since your your transition into a completely different um career and and how everything has transpired and everything that you've built. Um, and of course, I've been a part of that in a small way and doing my own stuff in parallel. Um like, like, how is it now? Like, what do you like what's what's the difference for you and versus you know how it was uh six years ago where you'd wake up at 4 a.m. to start training clients and you know, how is it how's life now? How's it different?

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Yeah. Um, in a way, it's not much, not extremely different. You know, for years and years, I would wake up at 3 a.m. and just start responding to messages because there's so many messages and um, you know, felt so honored that people wanted to reach out to me and wanted to talk to me. And um, I've also mentioned, like along the way, we've we have, you know, especially being able to put my um importance of health and fitness out there a lot more, um, I think has really made a big impact on a lot more people than what I was doing, you know, in my small town. And so it's been really awesome. Like today, even on the way home from the gym, I so I live stream in the car, chat with everyone, we jam music. It's so much fun. Um, just a great way to start your day in the morning. And um, someone on there was like, well, I was debating going to work out, but now I'm headed to the gym. And I'm like, good, that's what like we want. And you will not regret going to the gym and work out. So it's really awesome to be able to make that much of an impact. Um, and now, you know, there's still a crazy amount of messages and comments and everything. It's overloaded. Um, but I'm really grateful that I get to, you know, I've met so many people online that are from all over the world. Um it's cool talking to people that maybe don't have the same first language that you do. And so it's very interesting talking to people in that sense. Um, helping people in their relationships in their um health in general has been really awesome. Um, it's just, I honestly, I don't have anything negative. You know, we always hear these stories of like negative things happen to people and crazy, like we don't really have any. I don't have any stories like that. I don't think um there's never been anyone I've gone back and forth with online over shit. Like I don't care to. Um, we've talked about that plenty of times, but we don't foster that kind of stuff on our page, which is exactly what I would do in my real life too. So, and I think you in a way, like it would you have to do that for it to be authentic. Like you can't pretend to be someone over here and you're someone completely different that believes in different things over here. So it's really cool to be able to apply those same things because they help me grow in my personal life as well. So, like, where panty nectar has really taught me not to give a shit about what people think, that's translated into my real life of me not giving a fuck what people think. So there's a lot of a lot of great things about it. Um and day-to-day still looks the same. Live streams. I go about my day, I work out, I chit-chat with people, I make videos. It's fun.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

You mentioned about helping people in their relationships. What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Yeah, um because you and I don't really like there's nothing like hidden about our relationship. Um I think that really translates to other people and they're able to come to us, whether it be for advice or maybe they've watched our videos and they've tried new stuff with their partner, and now their partner and them are having a really good sexual um, you know, relationship, maybe for the first time in a while. Or the wife will come across my page and share it with the husband, and like now they have something kind of fun and exciting to talk about and it sparks their life up a lot. Um, and I also think just like being authentic and you and I being so open um encourages people that they can do the same thing as well. So we've had numerous amounts of people, I've had numerous amounts of people reach out to me and just say, like, my relationship is so much better, or I've listened to your podcast and I've heard you guys talk to each other and like I've applied some things in my life and my relationship is so much better, or just the relationships in my life in general are so much better. Um, and that's really really inspiring to hear that you make that much of an effect on people.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Yeah, it's pretty crazy, I think, that that people will go back and listen to podcasts. Yeah, you know, that of your I mean, because you started doing the Painting Actor Podcast in 2021, I believe it was.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

And so it's been ongoing ever since over five years, and um there's been a lot of people that have that have touched base with us. Um, and even you know, I'm on most of those podcasts, and um, and I have people still reach out to me about things that I've said, you know, and it's like for first of all, here's a secret you shouldn't listen to me anyways. But but if you are, uh it's just it's just it's a really humbling experience for me to think that that people even care what I have to say, you know, because here you and I are just talking into these microphones and we live our lives, and you know, we live here in the small town and do what we do, and we're just normal people.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

And um and and people seem to gravitate towards that, you know, because the reality is is every most everybody out there is just normal people too. You know, I really believe that. I don't yes, I think, you know, like there's people uh, you know, trying to live lives maybe that they're not or putting on a show in some way, uh whatever it is, and unless. be fair like what like what painting nector is and a lot that's entertainment too right but i'm not talking about like like living your life is a not what it is you know like the the the facebook perfect life i guess or like the social media perfect that type of falseness i guess and so you know that's that's and i understand it people are trying to portray their their best selves um to the world and i get that um and i also get not wanting to put a bunch of drama out there you know i don't put out any drama or anything like that it's just not worth it um so but people can see through inauthentic 100 you know what i mean yeah and and and they see through it but and so like but the people who who do see through that i think is what kind of you know they they see something in us and that they see that um yeah we're not fucking flying around on private jets for instance or standing a fr on a runway or you know just like dumb shit or like like I don't know and and like we're completely different than what everybody else we have 30 chickens and and eight cows and a donkey yeah and so um I don't know it it's just it's amazing to be able to just live your life and have people you know interested in that and then support you in doing so yeah and um so I just you know just want to say thank you to everybody who has yeah um listened to us along the way and over the years over the years yeah and and this is a um you know it's it's just fun to just adapt and do things um as things change as life change uh changes and um you know we've um inspired uh other creators along the way I get the messages you get the messages um me and my significant others started watching you guys a couple years ago and just recently uh realized that we could do this ourselves thank you so much for giving us the confidence it's changed our life you know and it's like yeah uh thank you for the kind words but you know they did it themselves we didn't do it like we don't even I don't mean this in a rude way but we don't even know who they are yeah you know what I mean but that shows the impact too that like just putting out something good people will see that and they'll act on it in that way no different than as if you if you put out something bad. Yeah you know if you put out negativity and stuff like that well you're gonna be filling the world with negativity. Yes and then those people are going to have those emotions and they're gonna fill their world with negativity and the the butterfly and we see that yeah exactly the ripple effect of all that so um you know one of our one of my mentors for sure and I know if you listen to you list him Gary V like like uh he you know is just so big on the positivity aspect and saying that there is there's enough negativity in the world and that's very true and you know we could sit here all day actually we could sit here much longer and probably talk about the negative stuff yeah right but like what good would that be doing absolutely nothing just stress and headaches for no reason stress and headaches and that's not to say that we're oblivious to reality or that we don't deal with stuff on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Please don't get that wrong just because we don't always air it does not mean that we don't deal with hiccups like our podcast being completely deleted for no you know for a little hiccup in an agreement in the policy or a bank being shut down because of where you get money from like that like those things do happen. We come across very stressful things um but when you let that control your mindset then it's like though those things will keep piling up that will I promise you that will happen. Once you let it get to you that one time those things will continue to pop up because what you think about is everything.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

So you have to choose to ignore it and deal with it and move on from it.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Right. Yeah and just be in a positive headspace you know and I I like like I I I grew up very in in a scarcity environment you know and when you grow up in a scarcity environment it's it seems like most people there are just like naysayers. You know so like my my whole family I love them dearly dearly dearly dearly but they're all naysayers. Yeah you know what I mean they're all finding reasons why something's not going to work. Yeah and that's not to say they like they're all hard workers I'm not saying that but like it's just like you know like you live in a scarcity mindset oh we gotta save save save you know like production is just like oh you go to your job every day to work for the man type thing and pay your dues and so so I think just you know being able to transfer yourself from the scarcity mindset into the abundance mindset. And my first realization into that whole thing was in Tony Robbins in 2018. I know I've talked about that but like like that was my first immersion into it and as everybody's around me like live in this like abundance mindset I'm like what is this? Yeah it felt so foreign to me but also it felt good like like I saw it but I and like it felt good but it was just like a surface level type thing you know you know what's weird to me when I was at Tony Robbins like I think the one thing that I um kind of figured out the most is like it feels foreign to almost be happy if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Like everyone's so happy and they're dancing around and I don't really want to be is like why is that right um and you realize through Tony Robbins that obviously things stem from other places and I really think that my parents just thought that life equals suffering kind of period um that life is always just about hard times and suffering. And I think that got passed on to me a whole lot. So like where people it when you realize that it's actually you uh like yearning for that same kind of happiness like I want to jump around and be happy for no reason. Yeah why don't I feel that way well it's because you have to let this shit go and just choose to be happy so and that you need no one's permission exactly yes to be happy or that you don't have to earn it or you don't have to like you can choose to just be happy.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

That's okay to be happy and carefree. That's okay. Yeah you don't have to stress about anyone or anything or try to handle anything that's not yours to handle like you can choose to be happy.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Be happy that's a yeah that's a good motto for life right I mean that's kind of like the whole thing of of Forrest Gump too like like you know like watching Forrest Gump he's running and he pulls up his shirt to wipe his face off and it's a smiley face and it's just like him running forever and it's such a great movie. Yeah and and this this character Forrest and he's just this happy guy in every situation that he's in and um even the bad times you know and and uh through the sadness um he's he always finds a way to come out on top of it. Yeah you know and I think I think that I think now thinking about that I need to go back and rewatch that because I have not watched it in many many years.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

One I'm not a movie person but but that's just such a a good motto for life is just to be happy and and um yeah like there's I don't know it's like there's no reason not to you know it's so funny my friend and I the other day were on FaceTime and I was leaving H E B but I watched this person come right pull up right to the door and I mean right to the front door put it in park get out lock their car and they walked in and I told my friend I said I wish that I had that much of a not give a fuck I like and that's not even me like making fun of that guy I'm like I genuinely wish yeah that I did not fucking care that much. No I don't want to be oblivious and do shit like park right in front of the door but I'm like the kind of freedom that must feel like to just park your shit wherever you want and go into grocery shop I bet feels amazing to not care. Yeah like I wish I had that much not give a fuck in me but I don't because I'm still a weirdo and I'm human but yeah God that must be nice.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Yeah yep it's the way we should strive to live yes yes well Haley thank you so much for joining me on uh my podcast you're very welcome the Zayn Ben podcast and um I'm gonna have you back on soon I was gonna say can't wait to be back we'll talk some more exciting things on the Zayn Ben podcast we'll see you next time thanks