From Lukewarm to Fully Surrendered

In this season two premiere, Hanna sits down with her close friend Ellie for a candid, deeply personal conversation about faith, transformation, and what it truly means to follow Jesus. Ellie shares how a single video on a treadmill changed the course of her life — and how she has grown from a self-described "lukewarm" believer into someone fully surrendered to Christ. Together, they explore what it means to be set apart, how to navigate doubt with faith, and the difference between conviction and shame.

What We Cover in This Episode

• The January 2024 moment on the treadmill — how a YouTube video about lukewarm Christianity sparked a supernatural encounter with God
• Going from dead words on a page to a life-giving, alive relationship with Scripture
• What it looks like to be truly transformed vs. cultural Christianity
• The practice of presence — how Jesus modeled availability and what that means for our daily lives
• What being "set apart" really means, and why following Jesus and transformation can't be separated
• Conviction vs. Shame: how God meets us with grace and not condemnation
• Navigating seasons of deep doubt — spiritual warfare, faithfulness, and coming out the other side stronger
• Leaning on community and Scripture through the hardest seasons of faith

Key Scriptures Referenced

• 2 Corinthians 2:15 "Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God..." — on why true Christianity can seem offensive to those who haven't encountered it.
• Romans 12:2 "Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." — on being set apart.
• Colossians 1:19 "God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him" — on emptying ourselves so Christ can shine through us.
• Galatians 6:9 "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." — Ellie's anchor verse through seasons of doubt.

Resources Mentioned

• Ashley Heatherington — Christian content creator whose video on lukewarm Christianity was the catalyst for Ellie's conversion.
• Street Lights Bible on Spotify — Pure Scripture set to beats; recommended for a fresh way to digest God's Word.

Catch Up on Season 1 Episodes

• Listen to Season 1 at: walkingwithgodwithhannaeyobed.buzzsprout.com
• Episode 4 — Discovering God's Love: From Religion to Relationship
• Episode 3 — Finding Joy Through Obedience
• Episode 2 — Childlike Faith: Embracing God's Fatherhood and Divine Provision
• Episode 1 — Finding Strength in God's Presence

Connect & Follow

• Subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your

This episode was created by the SLBF STUDIO. Find more media resources at https://slbf.org/studio.

Produced by Daniel Johnson, Dave Conour, and Brian Beatty

Edited by Dave Conour

Transcript

Hey, this is Hannah, and I'm walking with God. Joining me today is Ellie. Hey, Ellie, how are you today? Good. Doing good. I'm excited to be here. I'm so glad you're here, bro. This has been like a while in the making. And just for some brief context, me and Ellie met the first time two years ago right at crew, so briefly, and then didn't really become friends until our sophomore year last year. And we don't remember excited. We got super close, but praise God. We started to hang out more and more end of spring semester. Yeah. So yeah, I'm just super happy that she's here. Everything else to add to that story, Adam? I don't think so. Yeah, we were just sitting trying to figure it out. I do not think about we really became friends. I was like, you know, it's a good friendship, though. Yes, yes, exactly. I was just studying abroad this last semester, and we would call every few weeks, too. And that was so nice. I just really needed that kind of spiritual pick me up during my months there. Honestly, same. Like, even being in Madison, being in the cold. Because when you're studying abroad in Argentina, I don't know. I feel like we were able to still have that intentional friendship, even though we had just become friends. Yeah. And I feel like God just taught me a lot about intentionality with our friendship. So I'm just super glad we are here. Can you briefly explain or give your testimony to the people? Yeah. I have always believed in God for my whole life, I would say. And where I grew up in just mid East Wisconsin, it was a thing where everyone or all my peers in school, it's like you're Catholic or you're Lutheran. It's like, oh, are you Christian? Yes. And it's like, OK, are you Catholic or are you Lutheran? So that was kind of my bubble of Christianity that I knew about. I was Catholic, or so I called myself. Like, I went to the Sunday school every week. And some years my family would-- or my mom would take us to church more often. I think as I got older, we kind of stopped going as much, but always Christmas and Easter. Yeah, I would say I've always believed in God. And if you would have asked me, I probably would have said I believed in Jesus and that he died on the cross for me. But I never really knew what that meant. And then I started to get into high school. And my bubble kind of started to break or middle school. And I would hear about all these different people with their different beliefs, especially in our generation, I think are becoming more confident in just to be able to say, like, no, I don't buy into that. I think over the years that's changed a bit. And people were probably a bit more scared to be openly share their beliefs if they don't conform very well with the culture. But in high school, especially being super involved in the theater world, that was definitely not the case. Yeah. So I got to hear about all kinds of different beliefs and everything. But I was also exposed to a couple of what I would call today true Jesus followers, Christians. And they definitely stood out. I was like, these people are weird. They seem boring. I don't know. I feel like they just sit around reading their Bible all day and praying. Like, that just sounds boring. And I-- Well, now. Now not so much. But yes, yes. Yeah. But all the things that I thought were fun and cool in high school, they were saying no to that. So I kind of had this taste in my mouth. They also just seemed way too intense about it. It's like, just chill, bro. Just let me believe my version of God that I believe. I'm cool with my relationship with God. One scripture that this really reminds me of is Second Corinthians 16, I think it is. Let me find it really quick. OK, she has her Bible. Of course. OK, Second Corinthians 2.15. Yeah, it says, "Our lives are Christ-like fragrance, rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom." Like, that is absolutely wild. Wow. Wow. But I don't know, it kind of checks out. It makes sense. I by no means thought I was perishing or anything, but they just, through Christianity, really just put a bad taste in my mouth. And I would just pick things out of the Bible. I was like, oh, I love this. I'm good with this. But like, that part, no. I also didn't really actually read the Bible for myself. I just had a dusty King James sitting in my dresser. In the home. Always a King James perishing. Yes. And I would try to open it sometimes. So I was like, number one, I don't know what this is saying. I cannot understand this. Yeah. Like thou shalt-- I know. Thy-- they-- Wait, is that really considered in English now? I don't know. Yeah, it shouldn't be. But yeah, I just remember I would just read the Bible. And I was just like-- I mean, also, I would make the mistake of just trying to go cover to cover and starting in the beginning when I didn't even know who Jesus was. So I just gave up very, very quickly. And I was like, they just seemed like dead words on a page to me. So that was kind of my experience with Christianity, your spirituality, religion before BC. That brings me to my freshman year of college. It was almost two years ago now. It was during winter break, a freshman year of college. So the first semester, I was going to this church that preached all the things that I believe in. And it was affirming all of the sin that I was living in. I remember the pastors would just be literally swearing during their sermons. And even I didn't care about swearing at all, I still don't directly view it as a sin in and of itself. But I didn't care about it at all. But even then, in that moment, I was like, whoa. Yeah, like what's happening? Growing up in the Catholic world, I was like, I feel like you guys shouldn't really be doing that like it's fine about you. And then I also remember after they'd have a dinner every night, and this girl was telling the pastor about her 21st and how she was taking 21 shots and how hammered she was and everything. And then the pastor was just laughing along with her. And I was like, what is going on? Like again, that's cool. Like happy 21st. But why are you telling the pastor that? Yeah, they just, I think, affirmed what I wanted to be affirmed with myself. I was like, oh yeah, I'm religious. I believe in God. I can still do all this stuff that I want to do and believe all this stuff that I feel like believing. So then the day came. It was January 11th, 2024. I was in the gym at the Y on the treadmill. And I was looking for videos to watch on my phone while I was walking. And this one came up by this girl. She is a pretty big Christian influencer now, I think, if you've heard of her. Her name is Ashley Heatherington. She had this video about lukewarm Christianity. And I had never heard that before. I was like, what does that mean? I was curious. I clicked on the video. I watched it. And to be honest, I don't really remember what it said anymore. It probably was just explaining what it meant to be a lukewarm. I think Ashley was too at some point. And then I'm sure she probably shared part of her testimony of now fully surrendering her life to Jesus. I watched that video. All of a sudden, I just felt extremely anxious. Like the most anxious I've ever felt in my life, because it felt like there was just this huge weight on my shoulders. And in that moment, I didn't decide that I wanted to give my life to Christ. But I did recognize that I was not living for Christ. Yeah, like your eyes were opened. Right. I just felt like this intense pressure of like, I need to pick right now. Like, I can't call myself a Christian anymore and live in this lukewarm middle ground. Like, I don't know why I felt like it was right now. Like, I'm going to die tomorrow. Like, that's what I felt like. I need to decide, like, am I going to give my life to Christ fully and step into what God has for me? Or am I just going to keep living my life my way? And then just stop calling myself a Christian, because I now realize that this is not what I am. So later, I get into my truck and in that moment and then throughout the day, I just-- the anxiety just flips from like this crazy feeling of negativity and just pressure to this crazy supernatural piece. Wow. Like, I even recognized in that moment, I was like, this is supernatural. Like, I had never had any kind of like supernatural encounter before. Arguably, that's still the only one I've had to this day. But like, I just like-- I couldn't explain it. I just knew it was like-- I just literally felt like in the clouds, like just crazy piece. And I didn't know how to explain it. And I just kind of took it as God telling me, like, hey, like, you can do this. Like, step into this. Like, I'm here with you. And I was like, OK. I don't think I'd ever heard the gospel start to finish. Like, I didn't know what it meant that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. But I still decided that I was going to step into that, like, in that moment. And I was like, OK, Jesus, I surrender my life to you. That was one of the things I think she said in the video. Here you go. Like, I'm choosing your way over my way and I'm giving my way up. Then in the next couple of weeks, I remember just at home over my break, everything just started to just click that I'd been hearing my whole life. And I ordered this Bible. Shout out. Amazon, I think. I ordered some cute little Bible highlighters. And I just, like, immediately started reading the Word and started to actually find out for myself, like, who Jesus is. And the Bible, like, it just went from dead words on a page to, like, completely life-giving. And I'm like, this is not just a book. I mean, it says it in there, but, like, that's what it is. It's completely, like, alive and active and life-giving. I was just like, oh, my gosh, like, Jesus died for me for my sins. If there wasn't anyone else and it was just me, he still would have died just for me. That's so powerful. I know. I know. I just realized how God can see me through the blood of Jesus rather than, like, whatever it was I was doing before. I was just, like, wow. Like, he literally sees me as precious, like, as he sees Jesus. And I'm like, I don't know. It just hit me. But I didn't tell anyone. Yeah? I was, like, going through all this. I low-key thought it might just be a face. So, like, I wasn't telling anyone. Yeah. Because I just-- I got really into a lot of things in high school just for, like, short amounts of time. And I, like, subscribed to, like, a couple of different things. One of them definitely being, like, the self-help, like, improvement. Oh, yeah. But that turned out to be a phase, too. And I know there were a couple other things, and they just died. So I was like, I'm not going to tell anyone about this. I don't even remember when I started telling people. But, yeah, here I am today. I just fall more in love with God every day and all the seasons he brings me through. The transformation is kind of wild. In the-- obviously, it's not like you give your life to Christ. And then it's maybe for some people. But obviously, it's a sanctification process. And it's, like, through each season, he's been-- he's been working on me and working with me and working through me. And through that, I've just grown a ton. And here I am. Wow. That is still, like, the coolest story I've ever heard. Like, that is so, like-- because you never know, like, what your obedience is going to lead to, like, her posting that video. And then, like, you just happening to be, like, at the gym and, like, happening to click on that video. That's always going to be wild to me. But thank you so much for sharing your testimony. Like, I think that our testimonies are so, so, so incredibly powerful. We have no idea. And being able to glorify them-- glorify God through them is just so, so important. So thank you for sharing. Yeah. But kind of, like, still on this, like, concept of, like, transformation and change and what God has done in your life, like, what are the biggest characteristics that you've seen in yourself that are different before Christ and now after Christ, if you can name a few? I think the biggest thing-- I actually, like, was raised, like, by two wonderful parents. They, like, instilled a lot of great values in me. And they taught me how to work hard. They taught me how to love other people, how to serve other people. And I would say they probably, like, are on board with them. Probably all the fruits of the spirit. So I, like, I already had some practice living in some of the ways that Jesus wants us to live. It was just without that foundation of Him. So I think the biggest thing that's really changed is, like, just inserting Him as my foundation, I would say, in, like, loving-- that's the clearest, biggest difference, just loving Jesus. And then from there, I feel like I've grown a lot in my empathy. And just seeing a prayer I pray a lot is to just, God, break my heart for what breaks yours and just help me see people the way that you see them. You know, He tells us to, you know, laugh with whoever is laughing and weep with whoever is weeping, too. And I don't know. I feel like He's really helped me to kind of see into people and their stories and to empathize with them. I feel like my compassion has grown a lot as well. And honestly, like, my whole lifestyle, you know? It's like, through each of my seasons, like, you know, He's just cutting out certain things. He's adding in things. And, oh, a big one, I think, is I've become a lot more just present and a lot, a lot, a lot more grateful for just each and every day, just kind of ditching things that are a waste of my time and really just seeing the world through that lens of, like, wow, like, God gave me, like, this able body in all these senses and all these opportunities that I can go through in my day every day. And I realize there are a lot of things I took for granted before that I don't as much anymore. But I guess those are just a few things I can think about at the top of my head. Yeah, no, I love what you're saying about, like, you're able to be, like, more present because you have Jesus. Like, a side tangent real quick. I love the concept of presence. It changes, like, everything. I think, like, when you're looking at the gospel, Jesus is, like, constantly stopping when He's going someplace. Because He's like, well, someone needs me, or like, someone just touched my garment, or someone, there's this guy with leprosy, or like, why don't you just chill and just wait? Because He's not so focused on, like, the destination, necessarily. Exactly. And obviously, like, when He gets a destination, He really does the thing He needs to do. But I think that there's something that we have to learn about His practice of presence and being available. And I mean, you're so available for the Lord. And He's working so much in you and has done so much in you that I see the availability that you present to Him. Even by praying that prayer. And that prayer, like, God, break my heart, four breaks your heart, I feel it's, like, always on speed. Like, it's like, whenever you ask Him for that, He'll give it to you immediately. And it's like, oh, wow, my heart is broken. Like, it's terrible. The world is, like, in need of redemption. So you guys are all, like, very, very, like, necessary, good things to share on that same kind of vein. But, like, how do you feel, like, the way that you're viewing God, which is, I mean, you can even get into, like, how do you view God? Let's just start there, actually. How do you view God? That's a very broad question. He's so multifaceted. He's everything. Yes, He's wonderful. He's everywhere. Yeah. I guess, like, maybe in this, like, particular season, then. I feel like lately I've been viewing Him more through the lens of Jesus. OK, explain that. OK, I just put Hannah on a couple of days ago. I heard about this on a podcast. There's, on Spotify, if you look up Street Lights Bible-- Shout out. [LAUGHTER] It will-- it, like, it's literally just pure scripture. And then it has beats added underneath it. So I just went listening to it in the car, everywhere you go. It's helped me, like, digest scripture in a whole new way. And I'm saying this like I'm an expert. Like, I literally just started doing this, like, a week ago or something. But even just then, just like-- Yeah. Whoa, because I literally just listened to all of Mark. It honestly reminds me a lot of, like, what you were talking about, of, like, just slowing down and how Jesus was and how, like, He wasn't worried about, like, you said, the destination. Like, I feel like that's one of the big things I've had to surrender is I've always, like, BC. Like, I'm working towards this. I'm working towards this goal, this goal. And, like, I'm working so hard and nothing's going to get in my way. And, like, I'm glad I have that, like, work ethic instilled in me. But I really had to surrender that and be, like, yeah. Like, you said, Jesus was literally walking around and people would, like, stop Him and interrupt Him, even if He was, like, going somewhere. And He'd just be like, OK, that's literally me. Like, I'm just walking around to class every day. And I'm just such on a mission. I'm like, I need to be here at this time and here at this time. Like, yeah, just, like, being open and able to see what He's doing. I guess, like, Omni-Present. That's, like, one thing. Like, He's just, He's everywhere. And just, like, seeing Him in, like, all the little things in a way that I did not at all, like, before. You know, I think I would have liked to stay, like, oh, yeah. In His nature, like, I see Him or whatever. In music, I guess, a little bit. But now it's, like, especially in people, especially in people. Even people who haven't yet become His children, who aren't following Christ, like, they're still made in the image of God. And just seeing His characteristics shine through in that way. And kind of just little random moments how He just speaks to me. I feel like a lot of those ways are through people. But yeah, so kind of, like, continuing on and thinking about, because in your testimony you talked a lot, I mean, I love this, like, I love your testimony. But, like, the idea of being set apart, you were talking about these, like, Jesus freaks, or people that you're like, before Christ, BC, you were like, they're kind of weird. Yeah, we are weird. Yeah, no, I'm pretty scared. But, like, what does it mean to be set apart? I mean, from, like, the outside, and you're viewing these people, and they just seem kind of crazy. Right. And I'm sure that Jesus seemed crazy in His time. Oh, absolutely. But, like, how would you define set apartness? Yeah, that might have to be the biggest, like, realization I've had, because I used to just see it, oh, like, I'm a good person, I believe in God, that's being a Christian. Yeah. It's like, no, Jesus calls us to be radical. Like, He was so radical, and He calls us to be radical. If you are a Christian, and you're not, like, radically transformed by Jesus, something's off, you know? I think, like, one lesson I've learned is that it has to start. It has to start with God, it has to start with Jesus. I think, in the beginning, I was so excited about Jesus, you know, I'm like, okay, now I have to live this Christian life. And now I have to let go of this sin. I have to stop doing this. I have to start doing this. But that was dangerous, and it ended up hurting me, because I was trying to do it all out of my own strength. I didn't learn what it meant to rely on Him first. And I realized that, like, yeah, you don't fight this in yourself. You, like, you know, you lean into God, and then He's going to fight it for you with you. I think it all starts there. And then I've honestly noticed that, like, through all the seasons, He just be teaching you stuff. Like, stay in your word, like, you know, stay in your community. And He just teaches you so much. And I kind of, like, for example, like, I was big into, like, getting drunk, partying up until I want to break freshman year. And that was one thing, like, I did not fully come to a hard stop when I accepted Christ. I didn't understand. I was like, why is this wrong, God? Like, I mean, like, I'm just going out to, like, laugh and have a good time with my friends. It's just been nice. So, like, I didn't really see what the big deal was. And especially, like, in Christian spaces, I saw how intense everyone was about it. And they're like, you cannot be Christian, like, on this, going out on the weekends and doing this. And I was like, that scene was, like, kind of harsh. But when I finally, like, just gave it up to God, and I'm like, okay, well, number one, like, drunkenness is clearly a sin in the Bible. And I just kind of had to learn, like, this isn't like the opinions of these Christians, like, telling me this, like, this is God's word, man. And I just learned to trust him in it. And then, like, Heloki started to, like, show me the ways. The couple times I did do it after, like, all of a sudden, like, as I was drinking more, I just felt, like, more and more separated from him. You know what I mean? And it's like, man, like, giving into this, I'm literally, like, letting some other thing come into me, come into my body and alter, like, how I'm acting and what I'm doing. And it's like, well, if I'm doing that, then, like, that's what I'm following. You know, that's what I'm giving into, and that doesn't leave space for the Holy Spirit to, like, you know, guide me and convict me. And then, you know, also just seeing all the horrible things that come from it, just different things that would happen, you know, out, and just seeing different experiences that people go through. And I'm like, you're kind of right. Yeah, maybe this has been, like, the right thing. Right. Yeah. And you know, a lot of that's still blurry. It's like, I can walk into a bar. That's not a sin. But it's just like, you know, why am I doing this? What am I trying to fill? So that's just one example, but there are a lot of things in my life like that where I was like, okay. And then when you start to shed those things and you start to, like, follow Jesus, you cannot follow Jesus without being set apart. It's not like, I'm going to follow Jesus. It's like, oh, there's this thing, like being set apart. It's like, it can't be separated. Yeah. Yeah. I think of Romans 2.12. Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Yeah. If you're letting him come into your life and transform you and change the way you think, like, you are going to be set apart. That would be brand new. Yeah. Yeah. He's literally making you a new creation. For someone who wants to be set apart, follow Jesus and lock it in. No. Yeah. And don't sin. Yeah. And then it's just going to happen. I mean, he does say like, be perfect as my father is perfect, like, be perfect. And like, I know that sometimes we can look at scriptures like that and be like, oh my gosh, like what? When it says like in Colossians, it's 119. It's talking about Jesus. It says, "For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him and Jesus." And I like always am thinking about like, well, what does being set apart mean? And it's like letting his fullness dwell on us so that like he can be perfect like through us. And like if we're fully like emptied vessels to be used, like only Christ will come out of us. You know what I mean? We get to empty ourselves out. You're talking about being like these people that you had seen and being like, always there's some freaks or whatever, but they're like, they're very, very intentional in choosing what they are and what they're not staging with. Right. And like all these different like cultures and settings that they're like rejecting completely for Christ. You got to diet yourself. That's something I never heard in the Catholic church. Like you have to diet yourself and be born again. Maybe it was just my church. Maybe I wasn't paying attention, but you like missed that teaching about salvation. Yeah. I was like, I have literally never heard that. It's like, you got to be born again. I can't believe like how different like what I thought Christianity was before and like after actually like reading God's word, I'm like, whoa, this is nothing like the cultural Christianity that I've seen growing up. And you were talking a bit about like conviction and I'm curious like what I've been thinking a lot about conviction and grace because I feel like I can be very like condemning towards myself sometimes. I know a lot of people deal with that too, but like Christ invites us to like you said, like the Holy Spirit is like convicting you not to be in these spaces. What is the relationship between conviction and grace? Like without misusing God's grace, like experience is conviction and like not experience condemnation, but not given to condemnation because it's such a easy like the shame pattern. How have you experienced that? Like what does that look like for you in your walk? There have definitely been a few times where I've struggled to differentiate conviction with shame. And obviously those are coming from two opposite places. I kind of just figured out at one point, I'm like, if I'm feeling shame, like this is not from God. This is from the devil. That is not something that's from God. But I feel like in his grace, God has been like convicting me like with just as much as I can handle in all the seasons that I go through. It feels like there's always like a new thing. It's like, hey, this little part of your life, you haven't surrendered that to me. But you know, there were times where, especially in the beginning, where like I felt like it was like a lot and I would be overwhelmed by it because we are so flawed and we are so broken. If God just like fully unleashed like everything he could convict us of, We're just like, drop dead. No, it would just crush us and we would die. So I feel like that's like how he uses his grace to move in that situation. You know, where he just like drops it in his perfect timing, where it fits right in our life. So I've experienced a lot of peace from that, I feel like. Yeah. And this is more of like a personal question, especially when you're trying to be faithful and like even when like, I would say for new believers and also just like believers who've been in the faith for a while, but like dealing with a doubt and dealing with like, well, maybe he's like not going to show up or he's not going to help me or isn't he real. But how does like your process, I know like you've dealt without a lot in your life and your walk with Jesus, especially like the enemies attacking them in that way. How is the doubt that you experienced and enduring that helping you to be sanctified actually? For context, so I've been a believer for almost two years now and there have been, I think, three distinct seasons that have been like weeks long, or maybe even a couple months long, where like I've just felt so much doubt in the faith. And I think I realized the second or third time around, like obviously there's like no way of knowing for sure like what's going on in the spiritual realm, but that is one thing where I was like, that's another thing I never heard about that. Like the spiritual realm, like what kind of hippie like. - Voodoo. - Yeah, exactly. - Magic is this. - Yeah, but like, no, like demons are real. And that has been one thing that my eyes have really been open to after I kind of realized that and like their biggest, their main goal is to get you away from Jesus. It doesn't matter in what way. I think often he works in ways that aren't really seen as evil by the world at all. Anything that will bring us away from Jesus. So I think acknowledging number one, that like there is like our spiritual forces that are like probably attacking me right now. It literally felt like I wouldn't want to go to church at all. The last thing I want to do is open up my Bible, praying it literally felt like there was just a block that was like stopping me from getting to God and him from getting to me. And I was like, what is going on? And just spiraling about all these things, all these doubts. And to be honest, I still don't know exactly why God had me there. But I think one thing that really became apparent to me was just God's faithfulness and how like I, you know, even if there were like some days where I literally like, I would be constantly questioning him. I'd be like, why this, why that? Like I don't believe this. I don't believe that. I don't believe you. But I don't know, there was something in me. I was like, no, sit down, read your Bible, pray. And every day I'd come back and do that. And you know, he just worked through that. And he pulled me out in the end, my motto during those times when I'd have the energy to speak scripture over myself. Galatians 6, 9. Oh, it's something like, oh yeah, let's not get tired of doing what is good. For just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Yeah. And I think for some of us, that harvest of blessing is right around the corner, like it was for me. And I think for other people, like, there are like Christians who are like suffering like in it, their whole lives, specifically in other parts of the world or like in other times, I think their harvest of blessing is in their eternal life in heaven. But for me, praise God. It literally just meant just hanging there, like, you know, just like a few more weeks. And then he would always just, he'd always show up for me. And in all my doubt, there was just something in me where I'm like, okay, well, what are my options here? It's like, I'm questioning my faith. What are my options? Stop following Jesus. I'm like, okay, I know I like, I couldn't be an agnostic because I'm like, literally just because of the pure facts. I'm like, if you actually look into like, like this is history, like, you know, it's verifiable. And I've just walked myself through a lot of apologetics and stuff. And I'm like, I know I couldn't believe any other religion. I know if I had to pick what's the right religion, I would have to pick Jesus. I'd have to pick Christianity. If I would be an agnostic, I would just have so much anxiety. Like, no, there has to be something. Because I know there's something. I think we all kind of do. But he just kept pulling me back. He's like, oh, I'm still here. Like, you know, and he just never really let me just fully fall. And he just showed up through so many of my friends to, through you, through so many of my other friends. And I came out on the other side stronger than ever. That's so beautiful. And it's like so wonderful. Even I think with all of your answers, just emphasizing how like, God is the one at work in us. And even in our like trials, he's the one working to teach us something. And even like in those times, just reveal himself in different ways. So I'm just like so, so grateful for your story, for you sharing. It was just so awesome to have you on the podcast. Yeah. You're so cool. And yeah, I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you so much for coming. This is Hannah and I'm Walking With God.