#3: The Dark Side of Success No One Talks About (w/ Matt Uhler)

On today’s episode of Capital T, Truth, Larry sits down with entrepreneur Matt Uhler for a raw, real-time look at what happens when success accelerates… and your internal world can’t keep up.

Matt has:

• Built and sold businesses since age 17
• Completed over 800 transactions
• Helped countless entrepreneurs achieve their dreams

And yet…

👉 The more successful he became, the more his anxiety increased  

Together, they explore the concept of the “sinking ship”—the subconscious survival patterns that pull you back into stress, control, and anxiety… even when everything is going right.

This episode dives into:

• Why success can trigger a loss of control
• How trauma becomes both your superpower and your kryptonite
• The loop of creating problems just to solve them
• Why you can’t sustain success without internal alignment

This is one of the most honest conversations yet—and a powerful example of this work in action.

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trupathmastery.com/podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This is Capital T truth. Here we expose the beliefs, patterns, and trauma loops that have kept you limited.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

I talk about truth from two perspectives. There's the lowercase T truth and capital T truth, hence the name of the podcast. Capital D T truths are truths that are greater than us, right? They they're fundamentally true. They come from a source, God, the universe. Lowercase T truths are the truths that we make up for ourselves. And what's interesting about the nature of humans and living with free will is free will means that we can live in whatever truth we want, meaning I can hold anything I want to be true, but then there's a cost to that, and the cost is I have to act in alignment with it.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

I'm Larry Yatch, a former Navy SEAL officer and entrepreneur who learned the hard way that the strategies that create success can also quietly destroy the quality of your life. This work exists to expose that truth.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

My experience of my career has been a loop of recreating the trauma. Right? And then I've also put myself as the facilitator of those transactions in the middle of other people's traumas. And so I've watched their trauma evolve and then had to coach them through that to get what they asked me to help them with. But it's a funny dynamic the way you present it, because here I am guiding them through it, but yet I am absolutely replaying my own trauma.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Our intent and our thoughts and actions are opposed. And that's due to our trauma, right? So your intent was to be to receive love, correct? That's like the big driving intent. But your actions were driven to creating misery for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

I would compensate for what I believed I needed to do workwise by working, you know, two in the morning. So I could be at my son's chapel at his school at eight o'clock in the morning and bring him to school. But was I 100% present there, or was I just exhausted? From the outside, the physical aspect was I'm here. But I wasn't 100% there.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

In this moment, we were able to be fully present mentally, emotionally, physically, energetically. The only experience we could have is the experience of infinite, unconditional, and non-judgmental love. Like that's true. And every moment of our life, we have the possibility of that. Where there is the experience of love, there is no experience of fear. Where there is the experience of fear, there is no experience of love. Like they are on optimistic spectrum.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

If you're ready for freedom through alignment, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

And most of the time it's with clients that I've never met before. But Matt and I have worked very deeply together in what we refer to as an intensive, which you've probably heard me mention before on other podcasts, where we get to work together in a very uh intimate and deep way for four days. And within that, we're identifying the core personalized, very specific strategies of survival and then creating solutions for it. So Matt and I are going to be starting from a place of knowing a lot of these things, but we're going to touch on something that is very uh interesting. It's our own language around being on your ship and getting off your ship. We call it the sinking ship. So, but after Matt introduced himself, I'll talk about what it means to be on your ship, what it means to get off your ship, and then you're gonna see it in action because uh Matt said earlier in as we were getting ready for this that, you know, Larry, I think I might be on my ship for the last couple weeks. So this is gonna be perfect for Matt and very informative for all of you. Matt, uh, thank you again for joining us. Uh, it is uh gonna be fun. Like I said, this is gonna be the first time that I get to work with someone that I have a lot of history with. So thank you for coming on the show.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Larry, for having me. I appreciate being here.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

Well, and then do you mind just giving a couple minute in uh overview of of who you are, just so we give some framing to to the audience, and then then we'll go into what it means to be on your ship.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, I I had some trauma in the past, and and my coping mechanism of that was to start performing and staying busy, and and so I've done well in business. And one of the things you pointed out last time we talked, which I thought was so fascinating, is that the more successful I got, the more my anxiety uh increased. And so when we when I started working with you a little about a year ago, a little over a year ago, I learned some amazing tools to help me manage that and very beneficial. And then the the intensive was a whole nother level. And I can I can say that my life has gone to a whole nother level since then. And I think that that actually might be part of what has me at the moment feeling like I'm on my ship.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Yeah, because success is coming. I can't have that.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Well, and it's given me a perceived loss of control, yeah, right? Because now I've got all kinds of stuff going on. And before I used to be able to manage that with you know, staggering amount of work, and now it's it's honestly more than I feel like I can manage.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

When you say a lot of stuff going on, uh that the audience is gonna hear that differently than the way you mean it, right? I think most of the audience is gonna hear that as a lot of crap going on, but that's not what you're talking about, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:17

No. Um, so the stuff that I had going on before was ownership in 20-something businesses and very active and busy. And now um I think in the past month I formed four new businesses. I've got opportunities that are coming from from places I would have never imagined. And so it's uh the part of me that wants to feel safe and secure that I've got my arms around it and I can control it, is now feeling very, very anxious. And so I'm finding myself, and this is where I feel like maybe I'm on my ship, I'm finding myself feeling more and more anxious, like I used to over a year ago as a regular routine, but it's more uncomfortable now because I felt some relief from the work we've done.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

Yeah, it's once you see the light, once you stand in the light, it the dark's all that much darker, right? Like it was what was normal and would have probably been a good day two years ago, suddenly feels not a big like, oh, this is really not good.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

You hit the nail on the head. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Can you give the audience just your professional background, like what you've been doing over the last couple of years? I think it's at least for me, it may or may not come up, but it's uh you've accomplished quite a bit in a unique space. And I think that'd be useful for everyone to kind of have some framing in.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Okay. Yeah. So I started my first business at 17 and then sold it at 26 years old. And since then have been working as a business broker, helping people buy, sell, and finance businesses. So I've completed about 800 transactions. And about the last 20 years, I've started accumulating businesses as well. So I have uh a fairly active role in about 20 different businesses right now, as well as being a broker still. And so, so that's my professional background and in what what I spend my time doing.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

And then on top of that, I think from your, let's call it your healing process, or as I would say, coming more into alignment, more living in your truth, you've expanded as well into being able to teach and let's call it mentor, support people in the process of buying and selling businesses, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Yeah. So one of the companies I have is an education and training company where I'm teaching people how to buy, sell, finance, scale, manage businesses, uh, having done it for so long myself. So that's the new endeavor that I past couple of years that I'm really enjoying and uh excited to do more of.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Now, this is where I'm gonna go on uh we're gonna go on a side quest, right? This is by no means down the center of what we're gonna do, but uh this is just too uh too prime of a question. It's a question I've been wanting to ask you for a while. With your increased understanding of trauma, right? Trauma being a a not the experience, but the strategy of survival that is both our superpower and our kryptonite, right? Like we share that language and understanding now. With your your deepening understanding of the role of trauma, of strategies of survival in the lives of of what you are high functioning or successful people? With that understanding, looking back at your 800 transactions, looking back at what is probably thousands of transactions that did not go through, right? That's 800 successful. There's got to be six, seven times that that were unsuccessful. What role, if you look back, what role does trauma, strategies of survival, false self-view, those things play into uh this world you've been in of people buying and selling companies both successfully and unsuccessfully?

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Um so it's a broad question, so redirect me if I start to get off. But my experience of my career has been a loop of recreating the trauma. Right. And then I've also put myself as a facilitator of those transactions in the middle of other people's traumas. And so I've I've watched their trauma evolve and then had to coach them through that to get what they asked me to help them with. But it's a funny dynamic the way you present it, because here I am guiding them through it, but yet I am absolutely replaying my own trauma.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

So then as you said, which anyone that's been listening for a while would completely understand, but some people may not, is that the trauma is the strategy of survival. What you said is a loop, right? It's the cycle. And what's interesting about that cycle is where trauma manifests is when I have an intent for something different in my life, yet I create the opposite of it over and over again, right? And that's what I think we refer to as the loop, right? The cycle of I want my life to change. Oh, if I do this, it's gonna change, and then I find that I'm in the exact same environment, usually even bigger than I was before, right? Is that what you're referring to as being in your cycle and or the cycles you see with these clients?

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Well, there's a little bit of a paradox there. So, so my success, financial wherewithal, all of that has increased over time. But the loop that I'm thinking of specifically is it's like, okay, great new client. I'm excited to work with them. Start going down that road. Then we hit issues, and I get to go into my trauma, which is to solve those problems and to figure out how to deal with it, and then I can go into my own scarcity. Uh, in my world, most transactions die once before they close.

SPEAKER_04 12:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

So I get to go with that whole trauma, and I must have done something wrong, or there's some problem, or the and I need to save the day, right? And then and then I ultimately end up being able to save the day, and and everybody's happy, and and then I get rewarded financially, and then I do it again.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

Do you ever let at least I know it's changing, right? But let's say pre-work, did you ever allow yourself to live in that success?

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Um not for long. Um there were periods where I could, but not for long.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

And not for long would be what?

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Well, it depends on the dynamic. I mean, it might be that it was um, you know, a week or two where I feel the relief of, okay, I I did it. And you know, I refer to the good world and the bad world in that inner child place or whatever. It's like either I'm in the bad world and I'm reacting to everything that's showing up around me, or I'm in the good world where I feel like I'm in the flow and I am taken care of and deserving and loved and all of that. Those moments um prior to our work, I mean that's what I was chasing all the time.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

Yep. And and in in the particular, that's where like in uh many episodes I talk about, becoming a seal was a manifestation of my survival strategies, not my truth. Right? So like it would be easy to say, like, in order to get through buds and all that horrible, very difficult stuff, you have to really be on purpose, right? Like true driving purpose. And most people would say like becoming a seal was the the greatest expression of their their selves, like their express, like manifesting their purpose. And what I've come to realize is it's the opposite that the only way you can become a seal is based on your traumas. Like you have to have a certain set of traumas that the that are supported by conflict and war and ever uh impending catastrophe, right? Massive risk, emotional disassociation, all of those things are the world in which a SEAL has to live. And therefore, the traumas or the environment that those traumas want me to be in have to be the same, right? So becoming a SEAL was a manifestation of my untruths, my traumas, not my truth. And what it seems to me is that hearing what you're saying, uh becoming a business broker is the same thing for you, right? Like it was a manifestation of creating the environment where you got to live through problems and deals dying and and scarcity and risk, and and on top of that, put all of it on top of yourself. Like it is all the weights on your shoulders. When you get the win, the deal's over. Like you don't have any relationship with that client past, and what does that mean? You just get to get a new one to have the next problem, right? The next thing to solve.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Fantastic manifestation, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Great work. And what's crazy about that, and I love to make this point over and over again for the audience. The look at our my traumas and your traumas, what good they've brought into the world, right? Like I I've done, I did amazing things as a SEAL and saved a lot of life, right? And and made big change in the world. You've you've brought what 800 people's dreams to reality, right? Entrepreneurs' dreams to a reality. So we can't just beat up our subconscious and our traumas, right? We can't, they're not all bad, right? It's easy to make them the villain in our lives and say, oh, my subconscious is creating this world where I suffer. Uh, it has me making bad choices. Uh in reality, our traumas can bring amazing good stuff in the world, as it has for you and for me.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

And then where but there's a cost to them. Where does that cost show up in your world? Like when you were in that loop more, where did it, where did you pay for it?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I mean, in every way. And what what it looked like for me, and I've shared this with you, but for for the listeners, you know, it it became um less and less sleep to try to accumulate more and more to try to soothe the anxiety. Yeah, and and that led to physical exhaustion and staggering stress, and you know, rel the relationships with my kids and my wife, and all of those things. And when they just kicked out, I was gonna ask.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

Yeah, what was the impact of you creating that world for yourself? Like you alone created that world of suffering, correct? It wasn't necessary. What effect on your family, the people that loved you, that had to witness you doing this, what was the effect on them?

SPEAKER_00 17:10

I would say disconnection. Um, and and what I mean by that is I I would compensate for what I believed I needed to do workwise by working, you know, two in the morning. Yeah. So I could be at my son's chapel at his school at at eight o'clock in the morning and bring him to school. But was I 100% present there or was I just exhausted and three hours of sleep? Yeah. And so from the outside, the physical aspect was I'm here. But I wasn't 100% there.

SPEAKER_04 17:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

And it it honestly, it's sad to say it, but it's it's the truth that it's um, and I'll I'll use the word addiction because it might relate, but there was an addiction to the needing more and more and more and more to try to feel safe, and yet I'm gonna I'm gonna do everything I need to to show up for my family, but I I was divided and and not a hundred percent in either. And it's sad.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Do you remember um at the intensive at some point I would have asked you, um, are you actually safe? Do you remember that interaction?

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Am I actually safe?

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Like, do you have enough? Like for you, it would have been around enough.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah, I absolutely remember that. And and of course the answer was yes. I mean, I could I could stop doing everything right now and have a totally different life if I chose.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

And in saying yes, so we could look around, you could look around and say, yes, what emotions did that bring up in that moment? Was it feelings of success and relief, or was it feelings of panic or or stress or anxiety?

SPEAKER_00 18:55

No, at the time it was a feeling of peace and success, and like, you know, from this point forward, it's all choices. The the need and have to excuse is not one that I can uh realistically justify any longer.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Say more about that. Say more about that that not the need and have to being an excuse.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Um and I'm gonna say it in maybe a little bit different way, but you know, so many people who have uh an activity that they lean on like I was with work and just constant needing to perform, it's a whole lot easier to do that when I can justify it by, well, we've got four kids and we've got this and we appreciate this type of lifestyle, and we all so it it gives a reason for the behavior that which I think from even from an internal perspective, but certainly trying to justify it to everybody else, but certainly from an internal standpoint, it's like just a have to. When that have to is gone, then it becomes a choice, which is it it's it's all on me. There's no outside force uh forcing me to do the things I do anymore. It's those these are choices, and that's a that's a mirror that's hard to move away from my face.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

In living in the fact that you are the author you're the author of your environment as opposed to the victim of it, right? You're the one that is is crafting it. That's what you're referring to with the that mirror you're saying of like, oh, there is no longer have to, it's all choice. What what did it mean to you? I'd say both on the the conscious good level and the subconscious might not be true level, what did it mean to you to then live in the reality that you were the author of an environment in which you were not present for your for those that you loved by overworking yourself?

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Um it it it didn't feel good. I mean it was it was disappoint it was it's a disappointing reality. It's painful to look back at despite my great intents, I didn't deliver what I wanted exactly in the way I wanted to, and I could have done better. And uh, you know, I always appreciate that what I don't know is usually it's amazes me what I don't know until I know it. And this was one of those things. I mean, that pattern was something I got really good at. And the outside got worse for me.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

What do you say more?

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Again, connection with kids and and level of safety from them feeling connected, and and I realize now that I'm sleeping much more much more than I ever have in the past 30 years that even when I get less sleep than than what I strive for, I I observe a difference in the way I show up.

SPEAKER_04 21:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

My short shorter temper, level of irritation. I mean, I you know, I've fallen asleep at stop. Lights and stuff. I mean it was it was not it's uh it's amazing that I got to where I was and uh was be able to find some relief for a much healthier life.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Which leads leads into uh your core untruths, right? And so for the for the audience, for those of you that you know this may be your first episode, uh I talk about truth from two perspectives. There is the lowercase tea truth and capital T truth capital T truth, hence the name of the podcast. Capital D T truths are truths that are uh come from uh are greater than us, right? They they're fundamentally true. They come from uh source, God, the universe. Uh lowercase tea truths are the truths that we make up for ourselves. And what's interesting about the nature of humans and living with free will is free will means that we can live in whatever truth we want, meaning I can hold anything I want to be true, but then I have the there's a cost to that, and the cost is I have to act in alignment with it. And so when we talk about uh truths, our traumas, our lessons of survival that we picked up when we were young and have reinforced over our lives, they become an operating system, and that operating system are what we refer to as our untruths. And they're untrue because the the environment in which we learn them has changed. So I learned it when I was a little kid, I've used it throughout my whole life, but today the environment's different. And so I see my world, I act in my world in discord as opposed to in alignment. And the capital T truths or our truths in the language that we use, those are the truths that uh we have brought into the world that are exposed uh for others and ourselves to live in alignment, right? So when I say our uh Matt's untruths, those are through the process of this intensive where he and I went through a whole process to identify what exactly is the nature of his operating system, his subconscious operating system, and we want to put words to that because those words then show us how his behaviors, his choices um come into the world, right, from a subconscious level. And then from there, we can take and create an inverse of those untruths to create a specific formula, a specific uh set of rules that he can use to live in alignment. Um, so Matt, my question to you, do you remember what the core or the starting point for your untruths are?

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Uh that I'm unlovable and undeserving, and that I that love equals pain.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

That's the big thing. That love equals pain. So for Matt, in going through all of this work, one of the core, let's call it cornerstones of his survival strategy is to attach love and pain. Meaning on a subconscious level, you made it true that love always equals pain. Right? So that that became the cornerstone of you living in untruths. So, within that, how did that manifest in your life before becoming aware of it?

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Well, it showed up in lots of ways. I mean, one way was for sure that that that I would pick relationships for love and end up in pain. Right.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

How did that happen? What are you doing? Like, one, I know I've done the same thing, but you know, for you, what did that look like? And you don't have to get into details, just kind of uh because I know there's a lot of people out there that have are listening that do not also have probably tied love to equaling pain, and they may, you know, it manifests in their life similarly. So what I heard you say is I started with the intent to create a relationship of love, but I always ended up in pain.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Yeah, and I think it, you know, it's so we all hindsight's always wonderful uh in a lot of cases to learn from. But, you know, picking people uh maybe just solely because I thought they would provide the love or love me, regardless of whether we had similar values or whether it made sense at all, or whether we even wanted the same things out of life. And so, you know, destined to fail from the very beginning, and then I would kick into, you know, I am a committed person and loyal to the end and all of that stuff, and I got to demonstrate that over and over, you know.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

Yeah, by not not closing a relationship that should be closed.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Absolutely. And then it led to um that because I want to express my love as well and feel my love, you know, live feel love from others, that I must suffer and and endure pain to get there. And and I need to earn the love. And that means I gotta work myself to the brink of death and providing and saying yes, and I'll sacrifice me for the benefit of you, and over and over, you know, just man.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

Yeah. I'm I am so with you there. I know you and I very much align on the uh suffering and sacrificing for others, right? And to me, uh I've talked about in the past and in other videos the concept of the six core strategies, right? The six crayons that we draw are are pictures of trauma or strategies of trauma with. And one of those colors is suffering and sacrificing for love. And what we mean by that is uh the more that I get to suffer in my illustration of love to you, uh, the better I think I'm doing. And you and I very much share in that because love equals pain. Uh for me that that originated in the having the autism, being undiagnosed, not knowing it, and just not fitting in. And I was always judged as off or weird, and ultimately in being able to witness it in my oldest son as well, I was probably really annoying, right? Like I didn't know that this behavior annoyed people, and that because I couldn't sense their annoyance. And so for me, every interaction as a child came with fear that I was gonna do the wrong thing. I was gonna say the wrong thing, I wasn't gonna show up the right way, and therefore every relationship was painful, right? Had pain associated, either the pain of not being good enough, of making the wrong choice, making the wrong decision, or the pain of not being uh what I would say accepted uh from the people I wanted to be accepted from. And so that's where I tie the knot of like, oh, of course, it's one, it's my fault, something's wrong with me. So therefore I'm gonna have to earn it. And that's going and the best way to earn it is to suffer and sacrifice for others.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah, and and that you cue also cued into a part for me where it's the deservingness.

unknown 29:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

You know, I when will I ever deserve it and therefore be uh eligible or worthy of receiving it, and so to just work myself to the bone or the brink of death or whatever it looks like, and then maybe within that place, the deservingness of it, right?

SPEAKER_03 29:52

And this is where I want to illustrate for the listeners the concept that our intent and our thoughts and actions are are opposed, and that's due to our trauma, right? So your intent was to be to receive love, correct? That's like the big driving intent. Um but your actions were driven to creating misery for yourself in order to try and earn that, correct?

SPEAKER_00 30:21

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

But then, as I said, when you were given it, right? When you were you you had the win, did you ever let yourself receive it?

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Uh not for very long. And and I'll uh I'll share an interesting example just real quick. I mean, just the other day I was sharing with my wife some of the stuff, you know, I'm on my on my ship or not on my ship, and so on and so forth, and and she just said, you know, it's it's it's um I understand that you don't understand that you I love you and you are loved by us just because of who you are. And it's not because of all of the things you do, even though those can be nice, it's the core. And literally, I I felt like I didn't ask her, but I felt like my eyes crossed for a second, and I, you know, like fried some circuits, and and it was a it was a 100% amazing gesture of love on her part without strings and attachments and and speaking right to my core. And it fried my brain for a second, just like, can that be true? And thank you. I'm a thank you, and can that really be?

SPEAKER_03 31:30

That's what I I mean to hear you speak through this, the fact that you're able to say thank you is huge, as opposed to just go straight into is it true, is it for real, uh, do I have to earn it? Right. And so, in that, in that gratitude, we're seeing the beginnings of receiving without conditions. What's interesting is as soon as we put conditions on our love, meaning I have to perform to be loved, right? That's a conditional relationship. We often put conditions on the receiving too, right? And that I can only receive if certain things are in in order and in place. And it is in that conditionality that we create the disconnection.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Well, and I I've learned and appreciate now getting real microscopic, and you know, in some of the work we do as well. And and microscopically, after she said that, I received it for a millisecond. And then I went to, well, I wonder if I just stopped going to work, if that would still be such a genuine gesture on her part, you know, and that that critic or voice came up to justify the behavior again, and it just like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Yeah, and it's so like what is true is if you stop going to work, they would love you the same, and they would act you would actually be allowed to experience their love more, right? So there would be more love, not less.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

And even as you say it, part of me goes, I'm not sure I'm willing to prove that. So that's that fight that we talk about sometimes is just amazing to me.

SPEAKER_03 33:14

Yeah, it was uh we had a call for previous clients and students and and um uh some people just to kind of catch back up with what what I've been doing. And I had a client that had been through an intensive four years ago, very long time ago. And at the very end of the call, he uh very clearly and specifically uh said what it meant to him the work that one the work that I did to on myself to identify these strategies, and then the ability to bring it into a format that can help others, and then the impact that it had on his life, and just like pure gratitude. And I it was the hardest thing in the world to just sit there and receive it because, like you said, as you get more, you said microscopic, as I get more kind of paying attention, I could feel how everything in my body wanted to disassociate, like go back to the disassociated seal. Like what enabled me to be a seal is I didn't feel emotions. And the truth of it is, is I felt them, I didn't allow myself to experience them. So I could flick a light switch, and if there was fear in my body, I just would not experience the fear. I I could use my self-regulation to do that. And eventually it became such a habit that I didn't experience any emotions at any point in any time, and that was a very uh felt like a very safe place to be in combat type environments, but it is also a very isolated place to be because there is no feeling of connection. And in this, so here's this person, there is no risk, there is no, no one's trying to hurt me, and it is just someone uh expressing their gratitude and their their uh the love that they feel based on the work that I've done with them, and it took everything I had not to go hide, right? Just completely disconnect and like okay, you can say words, but they're just gonna go the other thing. To the point of I had I stopped and like, hey, say that again, because I I could feel myself like shut down. Like, nope, nope, no, come back. Okay, now say it again. I'm gonna I'm gonna take it. And and that to me is a big illustration of what it means to be on our ships, right? So, in that fact, if love equals pain, and here's this person expressing love to us, here's your wife expressing love to you, if love is equals pain, the only thing we can do is to not receive it because it's gonna hurt. And that is where there is the big lie, right? At no point in time can love hurt, right? There can be no cost to it, and there can be no condition on it. And it is only in us making love something it isn't, right? We are it is absolutely untrue that love can in any way, shape, or form equal pain. It is in living in that untruth that we create the disconnection.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Well, and it another thing that I, again, with our work, I've come to appreciate is if I get microscopic again, that's a tool, right? I mean, so if I just accept, okay, I don't really have to do anything anymore to be loved. Well, what about all these tools that I've accumulated over years to make sure that, you know, and there was an attachment to not wanting to like sort of throw the tool away? You know, it and so it's just all this stuff is going on, but but part of what I appreciate so much about the work you do and the work we've done together is that I'm I'm getting to watch that play out as opposed to just live it and ignore it and just continue to react as opposed to observe and and maybe show up differently in that situation. And so it's you know, it's powerful to watch that.

SPEAKER_03 37:08

In this moment, in this moment, if we were able to be fully present mentally, emotionally, physically, energetically, uh the only experience we could have is the experience of infinite, unconditional, and non-judgmental love. Right? That's truth. And every moment of our life, we have the possibility of that. And as I've said in podcasts before, where there is the experience of love, there is no experience of fear. Where there is the experience of fear, there is no experience of love. Like they are on opposite ends of the spectrum. And so when we live, and fear equals isolation. And in absolute terror, we can only be concerned with self. In absolute love, the self disappears. There is not even a concept of self, right? That same spectrum of love on one side, fear on the other, that same spectrum of complete wholeness on one side, love, and complete isolation on the other, fear, terror, that lives in our lives. And so living in that experience of that is up to us. And it is only in being present uh and being aware of what is drawing us out of that experience, which what how can that be useful for people listening? Uh, it is the doorway to identify where you may have strategies of survival that aren't aren't serving you, meaning where in your life are you not experiencing infinite, unconditional, non-judgmental love, acceptance, gratitude? Where is their suffering? Where is their strife? Where is their discord? Uh, where is there a feeling of fear or lack of safety? Where is there a feeling of obligation? All of those feelings are indicators of where you're living in some untruth, right? Where you've made some statement like, oh, love equals pain, and therefore I have to suffer. And because I didn't deserve love on the first place, the more I suffer, the more maybe I'll earn love. But we created a loop based on the fact that because love is pain, even if I get the love, I got to make sure to avoid it because it's gonna hurt eventually anyway.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

Yeah. It's round and round.

SPEAKER_03 39:23

So that leads us. I I'll go, you know, and one of the things I wanted to go is okay, how do we identify when we're on our ship and how do we get off? So before that, let's do like two, I'll do a three-minute thing of why we keep saying ship, what does it mean? Um the first step I took into understanding trauma that has enabled me to produce the systems, the processes, the tools, the classes that I have that have helped so many people was working with a um uh another veteran named Ricardo. So I was deep in my own um intense, let's call it, study of my traumas, my strategies. The the and really it was a lot about the experiences that I was in that had caused these issues. And I'd made some progress. And and this other veteran asked me in one of the sessions where I was, we were working together for some support. And he shared that he was in the Coast Guard and that uh seven years ago he was in the Coast Guard and he was on an icebreaker in Northern Lake Superior, and he was responsible for the engineering department. So it was his job to keep all the ship systems working. And if he didn't, then the ship would uh lose power, lose controllers, pumps, it would get a hole in the hull because of the ice and it would sink, and because they're the Coast Guard, no one's coming to save them. So he lived in a world on that ship that the ship was always sinking, but for him, right? So his subconscious created a story that this ship you're on is always sinking, but for you. If you you have to make sure that the ship doesn't sink. Now, that served him when he was in the Coast Guard because it allowed him to do his job, never miss a thing, never put the wrong number down. Like he he did amazing. Uh, but then fast forward seven years, that same strategy of living on an eternally sinking ship, but for you, showed up everywhere in his life. And so that showed up in the sinking ship of relationships, never having a relationship, the sinking ship of career, not being able to start his dream career, the sinking ship of not being able to hold a job for that long, the sinking ship of not being able to sleep, right? The refrigerator would click on and he'd wake up terrified. Why? Because he's back on the ship seven years ago. It's a generator malfunction, that the ship's gonna sink, everyone's gonna die, and it's all his fault. And so we refer to our shorthand that comes from Ricardo is this concept that all of us have a sinking ship in our life, right? And that's what it means when we're on our when we're in our old strategies of survival, we're on the sinking ship. And when we know that, we're like, oh, okay, this isn't necessarily bad. Like, we don't judge it, we just know we're we're using an operating system that is outdated for the environment that we're in. And whenever we do that, we're living in untruth that creates stress in our life. So when Matt says, I think I've been on my ship, what he's saying is, I think my old strategies of survival have kind of come back into play and are starting to make decisions for me that I'm not even completely aware of. Does that give uh uh for you again, does that give you a good reminder of what we're talking about here?

SPEAKER_00 42:51

It really does, yeah. And I can relate to so much of it, so I appreciate hearing it again. And for me, I think the way I'm I'm still working through my truths that that we created together, and I'm and I I feel like I'm connecting with them, but I'm expecting the worst. So I'm noticing from a mental perspective for the past couple of weeks, and I can get myself out of it for short periods of time, but it shifted.

SPEAKER_04 43:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

So so especially after the intensive, I was expecting the best.

unknown 43:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

And for short periods periods of times, I might slip into what you know, watching for something horrible to show up.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

That's why I feel like maybe I'm on my ship, is because now every morning I start with expecting the worst and feeling the Are you starting to feel that that uh let's call it adrenal dump or that that uh parasympathetic system kicking in as soon as you wake up?

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Um not to the degree it used to be.

SPEAKER_03 43:49

Because that would wake you up, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:51

Oh, absolutely. Full pair. I mean, full wake up, full sweat, panic, standing up and have to go do something.

SPEAKER_03 43:59

In the case. The key there that I want people to hear, because this is this is a very powerful piece. As your objective success, your accomplishments increased, as your bank accounts raised, as your um ability to earn in the future got up, the panic got worse, correct? That's an important piece for you for everyone out there, right? You don't now, could it be that you you listening are experiencing a really bad time in your life? Very possible. And and then maybe the feelings, the uh emotions you have actually make sense. But for many of us, we live more like Matt, where as things get better, we get more fear, more scared, more panic. And that that can be really confusing, right? How did you, when you were experiencing that on a regular basis, how did you make sense of it?

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Well, my coping strategy at the time was to do more.

SPEAKER_03 45:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

And and so it would, as an example, I'd wake up with that panic. Well, I'm not just gonna sit in it, right? Which now I know there's some benefit in doing that, but uh it was just get to the office, start doing something, work out.

SPEAKER_03 45:16

No judgment on it. Should it be here or not? Nope, here's fuel. Let me go, let me go use this as fuel to kick butt.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Well, and I I I knew it shouldn't be there, but it was like throw another log on the fire and get after it, right? Like just fuel.

SPEAKER_04 45:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

And the the whole idea was um to compensate for it and hopefully have more of whatever it would be that would give me peace, more love, more better performance, more money, more whatever. So all looking outside to try to soothe that part that was becoming more and more anxious, and I think probably more and more anxious that I would lose what I had been able to accumulate. So it didn't, it I didn't bask in it. I became afraid of losing it.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:59

And that just fed the fuel, fed the fire even more.

SPEAKER_03 46:02

And that's what's so interesting about these strategies. The strategies that we use on a subconscious level require a specific environment to be applicable. So your strategies require an environment of eminent doom, right? They because in an environment of uh peace and there is no, there it can be nothing that goes wrong, all of those strategies are useless. So let's go. Uh, we often don't do this, but I think it'll give framing for people. I want to go through your untruths. I'll just kind of I'm gonna read them out word for word. Uh great. What we found uh the process or the structure through which we create these strategies, uh, through what I did a regression of over 13,000, almost 14,000 linguistic data points from working with clients to regress down to the fundamental patterns that exist in language of how people's strategies of survival show up. And so they they are always the way that we format them is there's three sentences. Uh, the first sentence is a core view, meaning what is true in my world. Uh, the second sentence is always the behaviors that are required from that truth. And the third sentence is are is always the consequences that come from the behaviors that support the untruth. So it always becomes a loop. Uh there's also a if-then statement in each line, like if this, then that. And then it goes to the next one. Well, because of that, then there's this, which leads to the next, which because of that, there's the next that leads to the last. And then that last always links to the first. So we're gonna go through each one. I'm just gonna read them. And if you're uh listening to this, uh, we'll put it in the comment section if it's on YouTube, or we'll put it in uh the comments so you can actually see it, because I think it'd be useful to not only uh see it, be able to read it, but also when we get to the truce, these become very useful for all of us. So we'll have those as well. So the first line of your untruce is love is pain, the pain of abuse, not being cared for, and chaos. And so when I say that, I'm gonna read that one more time. Love is pain, the pain of abuse, not being cared for, and chaos. Right now, what part of that is showing up, even if it's in the subconscious? Where are you living in? And really the reality is creating either love being pain, abuse, not being cared for, or chaos?

SPEAKER_00 48:49

Um, not being cared for and chaos are the ones that that come to mind the most. So I'm feeling alone to some extent. And we'll just say the increased the increased opportunities for further success are feeling like chaos and making me un feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 49:08

So then the next the first question that we'll do in getting you off your ship is ask the question is it true that you are not being cared for? That you're it's not. Where are you being cared for?

SPEAKER_00 49:24

Well, I've I've got an amazing team, you know, staff and partners and team that are surrounding me and and constantly offering how can I be of assistance and and they're they're excited by what's going on for us in our world. And that is being cared for.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

Where are you blocking that anywhere?

SPEAKER_00 49:47

Am I blocking that anywhere? I think the place that I'm blocking it is from experiencing it. Now they are being hugely helpful in all things, and so from a practical standpoint, I'm not blocking it. But from uh from a being able to accept it, from receiving and enjoying it, uh that's where I'm blocking it.

SPEAKER_03 50:12

What about is there any flavor of being able to rely on it? Or maybe I can't rely on it? Has that shown up at all?

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Uh not until you mentioned it. There is a part, love is pain.

SPEAKER_04 50:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

Right?

SPEAKER_03 50:29

And so um it's the fear of loss that that keeps if I really accept it, if I receive this, if I rely on it, oh no, it's gonna go away.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Right.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 50:45

It hasn't been for a long, long time.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

I'll ask again. Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 50:52

No, it is not true.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

This is an interesting for everyone listening, right? Uh I the work that I do is based on precisional language. What did he say? He said it hasn't been. So what does that mean? Everyone listening out there, what does that mean? What is his subconscious trying to bring into the world? The possibility that it could happen tomorrow. Right? So it saying it hasn't been, is that true? Yes, that's true. But his subconscious is forcing him to say it hasn't been, so it leaves the possibility for the future. And so that's where we can see like, is he on his ship? Oh yeah, because the the subconscious is saying, nope, we got somewhere. It's like, okay, Matt, I'll let you live in the fact that it isn't happening right now and it didn't happen yesterday, but guess what, buddy? It'll happen tomorrow. Right. And so what did I do? I'm like, oh no, let's try again. And so we go back to, you know, is it true? And and we got no, right? We we can rely on that. And what's interesting is Matt, is it true that say one person that is critical for support uh leaves? Would you are you gonna be unable to find anyone else willing to support you?

SPEAKER_00 52:10

No, that's not true. I could. And I want to point out one other thing that that it's just amazing to watch the resistance. Like when you said, okay, thank you. Is it true? It's it's true.

SPEAKER_03 52:24

You know, it's like there's a part that's needed in this beauty of having support.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

Right. Okay, it's true. It it I'm not gonna be left alone.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

What's interesting is when we get to the end of this process and we we get you back uh on solid ground, like living in truth, we'll see. I I want people to witness to watch and listen, watch how his acceptance of it changes, right? We're seeing this resistance now because yeah, we're on the ship, but we're we're working our way off. The other piece, uh chaos. How is the chaos manifesting for you? Because you're saying, okay, now there I is chaos. I can see or feel it.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

Yeah, so how it's manifesting from a physical standpoint?

SPEAKER_03 53:13

No, more of like where are you making it up?

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Yeah, where I'm making it up is um activity that's showing up that I'm not sure how to control or manage using my old tools.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

Like so it's feeling like chaos as opposed to what's truly opportunity.

SPEAKER_03 53:32

Such as what?

SPEAKER_00 53:34

Because of what's going on with this new business and the education and the visibility and all of that. I have people coming to me wanting to partner on things and expand and opportunities and new businesses and all these. And there's a part of me that's going, wow, that's super cool. I mean, it's it's exciting. And and another part that's going, I don't even how do I do that? Like, I I I'm tired right now. How am I gonna manage that? And they're literally saying to me, you don't have to manage anything, just keep doing what you're doing. And we're like, I got this. But in my mind, um, well, that's not true, right? I need to do something. There must be someplace I can suffer.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

If you don't, and you just said it, right? I have to do something, right? For you, uh, ease is scary. Right? It is can't have ease. It has to be struggle, and we have to have struggle based on the fact that your identity is tied to it. If you don't struggle, how you could you possibly have worth?

unknown 54:36

Right?

SPEAKER_03 54:36

The only worth that you have to people is via your struggle. So if someone comes to you and says, just because of who you are, we can create this amazing opportunity. There is no, you don't have to do anything. There is no struggle, there is no suffering, you would lose yourself. Is it true though? Can there be ease?

SPEAKER_00 54:56

There can be ease. Because I've read that there can be ease.

SPEAKER_03 55:00

No, yeah, another question is what do you want? Right? Do you want to be tired? Do you want to be getting up at 3 a.m. again?

SPEAKER_00 55:08

No, I do not.

SPEAKER_03 55:09

No, and so your intent is to have ease, to have uh business, safety, security, and and producing impact in people's lives with little to no effort on your part, not massive effort on your part.

SPEAKER_00 55:25

That's true. And I and I'm just gonna say it because it's what's I believe it can be true. Yes. And I'm being put to the test with this. And maybe that's where this that's why I decided to climb on the ship.

SPEAKER_03 55:38

Yeah, right. It's it's in the acceptance of the truth. That's the cool part because we've gotten enough awareness to be able to start seeing what is actually true versus what is not. Meaning, uh, you know, if we were talking five months ago, you would be arguing with me that it's not true. Right? Nope, is you would be arguing with me that it's true. 100%, that's true. Nope, nope, there's gonna be this problem and that problem, and this thing I don't know, and this thing I can't control, and all those things. At least now we can get to the point of seeing and accepting the truth that it there is truth there, but we can't receive it yet. That's the next step, right? Like we're we're we'll get there. So then the next line. Uh we have, I'm gonna read the first and the second so you can see how, so people can hear how they go together. Love is pain, the pain of abuse, not being cared for, and chaos. I do not want that pain to be in my world, so I must drive to fix it for those I love. So I'm gonna say that second line one more time. I do not want that pain to be in my world, so I must drive to fix it for those I love. There's some interesting, you know, the language is very specific. There's some interesting pieces to that. So, what is the pain that you don't want in your world right now?

SPEAKER_00 56:59

What is the pain that I don't want in my world right now? Is is struggle and anxiety and fear and and trauma.

SPEAKER_03 57:09

And the struggle, anxiety, fear, where is that coming from right now? Sorry, I'm laughing.

SPEAKER_00 57:21

You're laughing with me, right? No, at.

SPEAKER_03 57:24

That was totally at, but sorry, I was just wondering. What is the source of the struggle, anxiety, and fear is what?

SPEAKER_00 57:33

Well, it's all internal.

SPEAKER_03 57:35

I mean, there's um But being driven by what?

SPEAKER_00 57:40

It's being driven by me trying to use my previous tools to um to manage what's showing up in my world right now.

SPEAKER_03 57:51

Almost. You're almost there. It's showing up simply because there's you're gonna get ease and success. Oh that's what I'm laughing about, right? Like, think about it. You're creating we just talked about this, right? It's because I have care and support, right? It's because that I have opportunity, right? I have these opportunities, and the opportunities are gonna produce the future you want, not the old trap you wanted. And that's where the fear is coming in, the anxiety is coming in, is because the success is here, not because it's something bad. So that's what's so interesting. I do not want that pain to be in my world. What pain? Oh, the pain of success, the pain of ease, the pain of being supported.

SPEAKER_00 58:45

Yeah, and what feels true about that, that I there, and I'm just gonna say a few weeks ago, I was on the edge of like, this is magnificent and so powerful. And and then something's shifted, and it became anxiety-provoking and fearful, and because it was gonna work, you know that you're getting too close.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

If you were further away from it, you could have stayed, you could have stayed centered. And when I say further away, further away from the realization of your success, your accomplishment, your peace. So as you got closer and closer to it, the subconscious got more and more scared. It's like, okay, well, we'll just make it a bad thing.

SPEAKER_00 59:30

Yeah, absolutely. And that's the looking for what's gonna go wrong as opposed to marveling in everything that's going right.

SPEAKER_03 59:38

Exactly. Knowing, have you ever been confronted with a problem that you have been unable to solve?

SPEAKER_00 59:46

No.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

So it can't go wrong. You don't look like you believe me.

SPEAKER_00 59:54

Yeah, what's coming to mind is the words that perceived loss of control.

SPEAKER_03 59:58

Yeah. What is control? You remember? My distinction for that.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:08

I don't recall exactly, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:10

The illusion of absolute influence.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:15

Right? We control nothing in this world. We don't control our thoughts, we don't control our actions, those are all mostly controlled by our subconscious that's below our awareness level. We don't control our safety, we don't control our health, we don't control anything. Because control means absolute influence. Right? Like I have absolute influence over this thing. There is no room for anything but exactly what I want for it, and that's not true in any area of our life. So whenever we live in the need for control, we create this illusion that I can have absolute influence. And it's a trap because that creates a world where our subconscious knows we can't have absolute influence in everything, which allows us to have anxiety. So if I need to control something or I live in a world where there is a possibility of control, I'm creating the opportunity for my subconscious to let me be scared. How does that land?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Yeah, it's it's um it it it lands in a way that is just that describes what's going on in my head.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:26

This trying to, well, if I do okay, I need to get back to cold plunging. I need to get I'm starting to look outward to figure out how to fix the inward feeling of that you just described.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:38

As opposed to just acceptance of the good. And the the living and the knowing that it's going to be good. And it's not it's actually not going to be good through my own suffering and effort. But then what? The second half of this this line, I do not want that pain to be in my world. This is what's super interesting. I do not want that pain to be in my world, so I must drive to fix it for those I love. What do you find? What's interesting about those two things?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

Well, what's interesting about those two things is that I have created situations in my story where the people that I love have enormous blessings that I can provide to try to make their life as as easy as possible and as fear-free, anxiety-free as possible, and all of that.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

So what's crazy though is I don't want to experience the pain in my world. So I go fix it in theirs.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:51

That's not gonna help mine at all. Right? That's what I find so interesting about that is that the solution that you bring to the table guarantees that it's never gonna solve the problem.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:05

And the keeping of the anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:07

I've even said it verbally, like to my wife like, listen, you you retire and do what you want to do. And I'm right behind you. I don't know when. I mean, I didn't say that, I don't know when, but I'm right behind you. But I will continue to make sure you have that opportunity.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:24

Well, what's nuts is you both have that opportunity today if you wanted it. You could, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:32

We could.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:33

Oh, but no, no. Let me fix it for you. She doesn't even probably see it as a problem. Who's really in the problem? You. Oh, I well, I'll fix mine someday.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:44

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:45

Okay. So then now we have I do not want that pain to be in my world, so I must strive to fix it for those I love. In this conditional love, I restrict the expression of love for others and self, validating my lack of worth. So that's that's a mouthful. Part of it is I live in this, so I have a hard time saying it. In this conditional love, I restrict the expression of love for others and self, validating my lack of worth. And so for this one, this is how we manifest the problem. In this conditional what? Love. What do we mean by the conditional love? We mean the fact that uh I want I have to fix the pain that others are experiencing to be of any worth. Uh, that pain is actually caused by me, right? By living in chaos and not being supported, all because I live on the premise that love is pain to begin with. And so if love is pain, I have to restrict the expression of it because I don't want people to have pain. Like, how can I actually show or receive love if love is pain? So I have to restrict it. And in restricting it, you end up with the world of not being loved, right? Not experiencing love, which is validates the core premise that love is pain because it's my fault. Right. My, my, I don't have enough worth. Where in your where today are you living in um conditional love? Where are you trading something for something else?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:22

Uh by slipping back into those untruths. I've I've amped up, and I again I'm I'm vacillating back and forth. I'm better at it than I used to be.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:30

But I'm vacillating into the I must suffer to be worthy. Uh, and that creates this conditional love.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:39

Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:40

And it also gives an opportunity to resent what I've given to others because they're getting to do it, and I'm not. And yet it's my rules.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:48

Yeah, it's my pain, uh, but let me fix it in your world where you don't even have the pain. There we go. Okay. So We have gotten in this, the first step of this is we've gotten very clear on okay, where is this? It's showing up in a bunch of places. So it's safe to say you you got your captain's hat on, you're riding the ship or the the bottom of the ocean. Okay. Let's get off of that ship. And the way that we get off of the ship is via the truths. And so the truths are linguistic inverses of the untruths. What I mean by that is the untruth, love is pain, uh, creates a box, right? That we now have to live in and act in alignment with. Uh, we, because words are very clear boxes, we can change it. Like we can create a different box that can't exist at the same time as the first box. And so let's just, as an example so people understand, we have the fundament where his cornerstone of untruth is is love is pain. Love equals pain. Uh, in his truth, the start of it. Uh, are you in a place to speak your truths?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:00

Sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:01

So speak the first first half of your first truth.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:05

Love is infinite, omnipresent, non-judgmental, and available.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:10

Okay. So uh go ahead and say that again.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:13

Love is infinite, omnipresent, non-judgmental, and available.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:17

Okay. Explain to me how if love is infinite, omnipresent, non-judgmental, and available, how that is not it is not possible for love to equal pain.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:32

Um because it's infinite, meaning it doesn't go away. That's my interpretation of that word. It is just infinite, it's always there. Omnipresent means it's everywhere. It's literally all around me. Non-judgmental uh ties so much into my into my untruth from a standpoint of it's just it's available to me. It is not restrictive, it's not conditional, it's non-judgmental. And available is the one that uh hits home so much because it's right there for for me to have.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:06

Why do you think you are currently, like today in this state, why do you think you are choosing not to grab it if it's available if it's all around you and it's available? And it doesn't judge you, it doesn't care.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:24

Because it's an unknown.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:26

Say more.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:26

And so um in it's it's not an unknown entirely, it's unfamiliar. So it's more familiar for me to go back to love as pain, so therefore I must do all of these things to be able to deserve it, but I never get to. That's a that's a shorter path, even though I've been working with these truths for what, six months now almost or more every day. That's an easier fallback because I've got 50 years of using the untruth and six months of the new truth.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:02

So uh what's the second half of your your truths?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:08

In knowing this, I open to experiencing peace.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:11

Okay. So what does that one mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:16

That in in knowing that that is true, that I open to, uh meaning I expand to feeling the peace that's available.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:26

Okay. So go ahead and speak that statement again, the full statement, and I want you to convince the audience that you believe it.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:38

Through my expression.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:41

Yep. See what we can do. I don't want just wrote wrote speaking. I want I want to I want the audience to agree that that Matt believes this.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:51

Okay. I'm so excited about this. Thank you. Love is infinite, omnipresent, non-judgmental, and available. And in knowing this, I get to experience peace.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:07

Close. You screwed up the second half.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:11

You said I get to instead of I open to.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:15

I open to.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:16

Now, what's the linguistic difference between I get to and I open to?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:20

Um, open to is I am. Get to means I might.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:25

Yeah, less effort, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:28

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:28

Yeah. So okay, try again. That was good from the top. We got to the end.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:33

Okay. Love is infinite, omnipresent, non-judgmental, and available. In knowing this, I open to experiencing peace.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:44

Okay. I believe you.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:46

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:47

So you don't have to say it again. Within that place in this current environment, what is a specific action you could take that would bring this truth into your world?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:59

Observing it, just looking around.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:01

Allowing it to be true. I could see that.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:04

Allowing it to be true. Experiencing it. So as I said the second part of that truth, I did get to experience peace. Like I it's I'm in peace. And so that brought it into my truth.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:18

Good. I like that. What would be something I want to see? I want something more specific, something we could almost measure when it comes to opening to experiencing peace in your current environment.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:30

Something specific and measurable to quantify my experience of peace.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:38

Yeah, I'm at a loss, Larry.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:40

Let's use your freedom question. What is true for me if there's nothing for me to fix? So what is true for you if in you you you know you'll say, what is true for me if there's nothing for me to fix in the and let's make it specific to this, nothing for me to s fix in the opportunities that I've created for myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:04

Okay. So what is true for me if there's nothing for me to fix?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:10

In the opportunities I've created for myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:13

In the opportunities that I've created for myself. So what is true for me? Yeah, what is true for me if there is nothing to fix in the opportunities that I've created for myself?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:23

Nothing for me to fix. Now again, people listening, this may seem kooky. Why do I keep stopping him? The the tools of the subconscious to keep us stuck are to change our language, right? So he when I'm not being a jerk by saying nothing to fix versus nothing for me to fix, he on a subconscious level left out for me to fix so that he could have a a um there's like a backdoor to it and keeping it true. So that's why I'm listening very clearly say, oh, nope, subconscious is still there, still saying oh, we're creating a trap. So what is true for me if there's nothing for me to fix in the opportunities I've created?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:10

What is true for me if there's nothing for me to fix in the opportunities that are available to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:19

I've created. Oh we don't want ownership.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:23

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:24

I you got it.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:28

And I just want to, I I I'm not trying to divert, but I just want to point out for people that are listening that may not have been through this. I am when you point them out, I catch the slipperiness of what's happening. Yeah. And so I'm grateful that you're pointing them out. And it's one of the things I appreciate about what you're about you and and what you do. So, what is true for me if there is nothing for me to fix in the opportunities that I've created for myself? And what is true is I just get to enjoy them and be in peace watching them and participating.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:05

I like that. So uh what what could you do to do that? Like what's something we could specifically do to do that? And really, we're we're we're trying to get out of that, we're trying to let the anxiety flow through us, right? And we're trying to get the need to work to stop. Now, is that gonna may mean you stop working? Absolutely not. You haven't, you know, 50 years of working hard. Like that's gonna show up. We just don't have to do it out of uh low frequency. So it to what I'm hearing you say is it would be true that I could let these opportunities unfold, enjoy their unfolding and experience it instead of push it. That's what I'm hearing you say. Does that seem is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:59

It does.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:00

Okay, so then how what is a specific thing that we could do to get that done?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:08

To get that done. What's coming to me may be different than what you're seeking, but what's coming to me is to uh live in gratitude and appreciation for what I'm experiencing. The the difference with that is what I've been doing is going into fear, anxiety, future projecting what might all that, as opposed to just being present and marveling and enjoying, which is what I did for so many months.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:35

Okay, so then I think we just nailed it. Like I think we got it. Um in the experience when you experience the anxiety or the experience that I'm gonna say two things anxiety or fear, right? Or the the uh catastrophizing, I don't even know if that's a word, but the creating the catastrophe, right? Those those things. So that's one domain, like oh, there it is, there's the anxiety, oh, there's the fear, there's the oh, I hear, I see myself starting to build the catastrophes. Or uh right before you drive into work, and I don't mean drive, I mean like drive yourself to take take action and do work. One, if you notice the fear, anxiety, or catastrophizing, two, right before you get into oh, I'm I have to or I'm good, I'm driven to go do some work, uh, to do a gratitude practice specific to the opportunities. And this and the other one I would put is we go back to your to your your untruths, uh, and let's do one for each. Gratitude for the opportunity that is that you've created, gratitude for the support that you have in doing that, and gratitude for the care that you're able to receive in creating that. What one each.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:04

Okay, you want me to express those now?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:06

Uh let's practice and see see what happens. But the the real thing that we're trying to do to get off the ship is we want to leverage the untruths to identify where we're in untruth. We did we did that, we found it. Now we're leveraging the truth to see, oh, is this how do I get recentered into the fact that love is infinite, omnipresent, non-judgmental, available, and being open to experiencing peace, right? We use that first thing. And then your second line goes into not having to fix stuff, which we got from the freedom question. And the third line was to receive love, right? And gratitude is the action of receiving, right? The expression of gratitude is how we actively receive. You can't you can't truly and honestly express a gratitude without having received the gift. Does that make sense? It does. And so we're hitting all three of this. So now what we're gonna do is identify the practice. Okay, what practice do we do? When I feel fear, anxiety, or I see those cat catastrophic thoughts coming in, or right before I go into work, working, driving, which is an escape, uh, we're gonna do a practice of gratitude. The practice of gratitude is to identify uh and express, which is the receiving of love for the opportunity, this receiving of love for the care that you're being shown and the support that you're being shown. So those are the things that we want to do it. So let's go now and express uh a gratitude for the opportunities that are in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:46

Yeah, and and so the the way that looks for me, and one of the things that shifted for me, Larry, is that I I used to start my day for months and even about a year with a walk. Yep. The very first thing I would do to replace going into the office is go out for a walk. And so the past few weeks I've got back in the habit of doing that every day, and I start with three wins.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:13

And that brings me to gratitude and appreciation for what showed up. And so, gratitude for the opportunities that are that I've created are appreciation for my partners and their enthusiasm for what we can do together. That's definitely a gratitude for the opportunities that I've created and that are showing up in my world right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:35

Okay, let's get more specific. I want you to be super specific. It might not mean anything to me or anyone else, but a super specific gratitude for a super specific piece of some opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:48

I am grateful for a partner of mine, Christian, who has been so supportive of me for the last 20 years that I've known him and is currently opening opportunities and presenting opportunities for me to prosper financially, for us to prosper as friends and partners, and for us to be in gratitude together. And that looks like every almost every day, him acknowledging how I've contributed to his world and how he appreciates me, and vice versa. And so we're we are truly in in love in this dynamic of creating and manifesting.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:28

And is is what he is what he's bringing to you uh gonna create chaos in your world or peace?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:38

Great question. Um, it it will create peace, and he's one of the people that is saying, listen, I've got this. You don't need to do anything. And what an amazing, and in this conversation, what an amazing demonstration of love and gratitude and omnipresence and infinence.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:55

And the his reception of your 20 years of expressions of love for him, right? That's a pretty cool piece of this is the what has uh bloomed from your expressions of love and care for him for so long. It is so that it that becomes unconditional, right? Now, is he doing it because of what you did? No. Uh, it isn't a conditional relationship, it it is a manifestation of bi-directional.

unknown 1:21:25

Good.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:26

Okay 100%. A specific gratitude for care that you have received.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:34

Yeah. Um, in my in my office that's that I work in every day, um, I've got I've got three people that are literally just waiting for an opportunity to serve and uh contribute and and free me up so I can experience more peace.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:57

And it's I mean, I just left a meeting two hours ago where it's it's all three of them in a meeting. Just I've I got that, and let's I'll take care of that. You don't have to worry about that. I'll get on this, I'll have it to you. I mean, what it's just extraordinary.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:11

Are they doing that from a place of love equaling pain?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:16

They are not.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:17

That's a cool piece. So you can actually see it in action, right? Like, oh, it doesn't have to hurt.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:23

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:24

Good. Okay, last one. Uh and this is similar, right? So it is support. So gratitude towards uh some specific uh action of support for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:37

Some specific action of support. Well, honestly, one that comes to mind, Larry, is what we're doing right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:43

I was hoping, yeah. I was like, oh my little dose of gratitude on here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:49

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And I am I am so great grateful for our relationship and for uh for me being blessed with you in my life and for the support that you're you give so graciously when we're together. I um thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:07

You're welcome. You deserve it. Now, uh uh how do you feel? Do you feel fear, panic, anxiety, catastrophe coming on the chaos?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:19

No. No, I don't.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:21

Now, do you feel the need that you have to go out and drive to work? Like drive for work?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:29

There's there's a subtle voice of that, again, that program. And right this minute, I am truly basking in the abundance, the infinite, the omnipresence.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:42

Yeah. I want to change the flavor a little. Can you connect to the energy that has come from being centered and in peace that can be put towards work?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:52

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:53

That's the difference. Yeah. Right. So, as opposed to that need coming from the place of abundant, abundant energy from being connected and centered in love, tying that to, oh, I can I can work from this. That's as opposed to I have to work from the fear. That's the only thing, that's the difference between being on the ship and not. So you can still drive to work, but from infinite energy from source as opposed to limited energy from Matt's fear.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:25

Well, and the the subtlety there is it feels like excitement to perform those duties with a smile.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:32

As opposed to dread of what that might look like or mean or any of that. It's a it's night and day.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:38

Perfect. That's it. So that's all we connect to. That's what that's that's the practice. Because what's cool about this is the illustration for people that just because we live in truth doesn't mean we lose the the gifts of our traumas, right? The gift of your trauma was being able to outwork everyone, but at your cost by draining you, because it was coming from your fear. Whereas when we live in this truth, right, we live in the truth that when you connect to infinite source, uh, infinite connection to God, the universe, all that's greater than you, you can work from that, and you can't be drained because it's not coming from you. And so when we are in lack of alignment, we have limited energy. When we are in alignment, like we are right now, we have infinite energy, right? And we are then the portal of that energy in our unique way into the world, right? And only you can bring that energy into the world as Matt would. But when you do it from your untruths, being on the ship, it comes in distorted and it it costs you. Whereas in this, all it does is add to you.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:50

Well, and for me, waking up in dread means I'm on the ship and I'm living in my untruths. And waking up with excitement and enthusiasm is when I'm in this energy.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:03

And and the energy that I appreciate so much more.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:06

Yep. And so uh just summarize for everything, what did we do? How did we do it? Right, we we taught, we started by using untrue stories as a means to identify where we are living in lies, right? Untruths. Uh we'll have those in the the comments, we'll have anything. Look at them, right? Read them and see where do they where do I kind of agree with this? Like just like Matt went through, I'm like, okay, where is love being painful for you, right? Or where are you bringing chaos into your world? Uh use it as a means to explore, to become aware of where that is. Then all we did is use the truths. We just had to use one, right? One truth. All you have to do is repeat it. So wherever you find yourself in the biggest set of untruths, there's an inverse in the truth, and all you have to do is repeat it. And you might have to repeat it a whole bunch of times until it you can convince yourself andor others that you actually believe it, because you can get to the time where you will say the words, but you won't allow them to actually come from you. And so all we're doing is repeat it. And there's times I've looked like a crazy person walking around outside talking to myself where all I'm doing is repeating a truth or a set of truths over and over again until I can feel it sit. As soon as it sits, the question that we're asking ourselves is how do I bring this into the world? How do I bring it into my world? What can I do today to bring this particular truth into my world? And within that, we always want it to be measurable, right? Because if it's not measurable, it's like, well, I'll be good to people. Like, what is that doesn't really do it, right? Like, what are we really talking about there? So make it measurable. Uh, and then all you got to do is take that action. And that's the the process from. Being on the ship to getting off the ship. So uh thank you, Matt, for for joining us and uh being a perfect example of of what it can be because for us, like so many of the people listening will very much identify with love is suffering, I have to suffer for others, and that uh there's impending doom, right? Like you and I definitely match on that, and a lot of people will, because that is a really good formula for performance. It's just costly. Uh before we go, is there anything you want to share uh with the audience to close out?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:36

Yeah, I guess just that um you know I searched for the for the for the peace that I'm I have found through this work for the majority of my life, and so um hopefully the process that they got to observe made some sense, but I can I it it honestly makes me emotional to feel it. And so I just I just hope that they uh will pursue it for their own benefit because the the light is so much greater than the desire to stick with what might feel comfortable. And and then just for you, Larry, again, I'm just so grateful for you and and for what you went through to be able to bring this to the world and your willingness to do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:18

That's it's my greatest expression of my truth, which is really nice to see. And and being able to do that's been been such a gift. And you know, the last thing that you said of uh the light, right? The we can't have light without dark, right? They are they we need both, but the dark has no power in the light. And so whatever you're facing, however dark it seems, as you get to uh to know and then bring into your life universal truth, capital T truth, uh that light always wins over the dark. Where there is light, there is no dark, right? So there is the the dark has no power over the light. And so uh I found that for myself, and I think you have as well, that once you experience it, all you want is everyone to experience it. And so uh thank you all for being with us and and sticking with us and listening, and and we look forward to you feeling that same light and the desire to spread it.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:17

Yeah, thank you, Larry.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:18

Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you, Matt, for joining us. Uh, thank you all for listening, and uh stand by for the next one. We'll be back.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:27

Thanks for listening, Capital T Truth. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. As you know, the work doesn't stop when the episode ends. For more, visit the website at capitalte truth.org to submit a question to be answered live on a future podcast. We also invite listeners onto the podcast to work directly with me, where we dive into your personal strategies, survival, and we solve them live. Until next time, live in Capital T Truth.