Capital T, Truth.

#14: TRAUMA: How to Finally Step Off the Sinking Ship (Part 2)

• TruPath • Season 1 • Episode 14

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0:00 | 53:59

Part 2 of our special series on trauma takes the conversation even deeper.


If Part 1 explained why we unconsciously recreate the same struggles over and over again, Part 2 explores how we finally break free from them.


Larry Yatch and Vicky Giangregorio continue unpacking the Sinking Ship framework and reveal how survival strategies quietly influence our decisions, relationships, ambitions, fears, and sense of self-worth.


Most importantly, they explore what happens when we stop allowing the subconscious to dictate our future.


In this episode:


• Why control is often mistaken for safety
 • How survival strategies shape every area of life
 • The hidden conflict between the conscious and subconscious mind
 • Why we continue repeating painful patterns
 • How to identify your own “Sinking Ship”
 • The difference between surviving and truly living
 • What it means to step off the ship and create a new future


This conversation is ultimately about freedom.


Freedom from fear.
 Freedom from old stories.
 Freedom from the survival strategies that once protected us but now keep us stuck.


🎙️ Episode #14


TRAUMA: How to Finally Step Off the Sinking Ship (Part 2)
 Breaking Free From Survival Mode


📅 Monday, June 29th, 2026 • 8AM MT


🎧 Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and wherever you get your podcasts.


👉 TRUTHPATHMASTERY.COM/PODCAST

SPEAKER_00

This is Capital T truth. Here we expose the beliefs, patterns, and trauma loops that have kept you limited. I'm Larry Gatch, a former Navy SEAL officer and entrepreneur who learned the hard way that the strategies that create success can also quietly destroy the quality of your life. This work exists to expose that truth. If you're ready for freedom through alignment, you're in the right place. What I've found, and I can prove this through hundreds of cases with clients is that it's the same strategy. You establish one. You only have one chip. You establish one strategy somewhere between four and eight. And then every experience where you have a perceived loss of control again, for the rest of your life, it's viewed through that same lens, and your decisions are made through that same lens. So on one side, the heavy part to me is like, oh man, I've done the same thing to myself over and over and over and over again. But the good side's got one thing to say. That's what I'm saying. Every strategy of survival. So every shift is a strategy of disconnection. Disconnecting from self, disconnecting from others, disconnecting from all the great enough. That means that the only way to solve it is through connection. And therefore you can't do it alone. Like it just sucks. Like it sucks because to have this knowledge and to know how it works, I would love to be able to tell someone they could just do it themselves. Like you could just sit there and figure it out that you can't. Because your subconscious mind is more powerful than your conscious mind. It's going to hide it from you. And so as much as you're sitting out there thinking, I want to figure out my shift, you can't really do it on your own. There's nothing I can do, nothing I can say that would have you be able to figure it out. Yeah, we have. So I was all excited. So we sat down and he shared that he was a veteran as well, which I didn't even know. I had no idea. He said that he was in the Coast Guard and started to tell his story. And so being the Coast Guard, he was uh specifically assigned to an icebreaker. So icebreakers are the ships that operate in very cold climates to either break paths for other ships to go through, or more importantly, to uh go and rescue ships that are caught in the ice because ice and ships, you know the story of Titanic, very bad, that not a good combination. And so their job, they're they're the last line of defense for ships against ice. And that meant that he had to work in a very unique environment. He had to work in an environment where uh ships aren't supposed to be in ice, right? Like you're you're you're literally going in the one place that all ships want to avoid. On top of that, they're the Coast Guard and no one's coming to save them, right? Like if something goes wrong on their ship, like there's no one else. They're they're it, they're the last line of defense. Uh the other big thing that was true in in that ship was that if the ship systems, like the engines, the pumps, the generators, if they didn't work, then the ship would sink. Right? There's uh if you lose steerage, you can't direct where the bow is, the ice hits the side, pokes a hole in it. If if the water gets in, the pumps can't pump the water out, uh, ship's gonna sink. And if the ship sinks, because they're the only ones there, everyone's gonna die, right? There's no there's no backup. And he was telling me this story of being uh of the environment he was in, being on ships and the ice all alone, last line of defense. Uh on top of that, he shared that he was in those ships, they're small ships, there's very small crews. He was responsible for the mechanics of it all. So his job was the engines, the the generators, the ship systems, and he was more or less solely responsible for that. There's a he had a manager, if you will, but ultimately it was his job. And so if it wasn't for him keeping the ship systems running, the system stopped working, the ship starts taking out water, the ship sinks, everyone dies. Right? Like that's what he was explaining. And I remember sitting there, and it was really odd to witness that he was when we started the conversation, just like now, he was sitting with me. Like he and I were there in the conversation together. By the time he got to this point in describing it, he was nowhere near here, right? He was back out in the northern uh lake, I think it was Lake Michigan, uh, northern Lake Michigan on this icebreaker in the middle of all the ice. It was it was amazing to watch this person not be present at all. Like it was very interesting to see that. And so I, as and as you know I do, uh, I just asked him one question that changed this whole world. Uh sitting there after he tells me the whole story, and he went from being next to you know across from me to way off in both the past and far away. I asked him one question. I asked him, uh, where else in your life are you creating sinking ships? And he looked at me like at first it was like a shock. And and he paused for a minute and and it was again crazy because I saw him come back and and he was like, Oh, in my my jobs like I can't I can't keep a job for three three weeks, a month. Um my career, he had uh masters in Chinese medicine, and the guy couldn't keep a job. I never started practice, like genius. I had all this stuff, I can't I can't I can't be on a I can't have a career. Uh like oh every relationship like last three weeks, six weeks, seven weeks. Uh and then when you think about that, if you are living on a ship that is gonna sink and every you're gonna die and everyone's gonna die, and it's really your fault, would it be responsible to be in a relationship? Which is super interesting, right? So when you get a relationship that you want consciously, you want to be in this amazing loving relationship, your subconscious says that would be irresponsible. Like you can't can't hurt this person by not being in their life because you're gonna die, because the subconscious is stuck on a ship in the northern Lake Michigan, and the conscious mind is saying, No, but I want a relationship today. And the subconscious mind says, No, the ship's gonna sink, it's gonna be your fault, everyone's gonna die. You can't do this to this person, so what do you do? Sabotage the relationship. And then the one that really hit him was he's like, Oh, that's why I can't sleep.

SPEAKER_03

Because if the uh anything can go wrong at any time and his ship would sink.

SPEAKER_00

Even more than that, the compressor on the refrigerator, you know how it clicks on every now and again and starts to go?

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

His subconscious hears that as the generator and in his own home, not on a ship. No, he so yeah, he's dead asleep.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00

The subconscious mind is not is still online while the conscious mind is sleeping, right? Like that's the big thing of sleep is the the disconnection from our conscious and subconscious, and the subconscious keeps to be, keeps to be stay mostly online. And so conscious mind's asleep, subconscious mind is still paying attention, it hears the compressor going on the thing, and it immediately immediately connects to the generators malfunctioning on the ship, and he he would wake up with panic, but he couldn't figure out why he was waking up with panic. He's waking up with panic because the part of him that's keeping himself safe, his subconscious, is still on a ship, and it takes a creak in the house, a noise outside, the compressor clicking on in the refrigerator as the signal that you're on the ship and it's about to sink. And so he'd wake up completely shocked, completely panicked, and it all made sense. So he's just sitting there, like, oh, I'm on a sinking ship all the time. And where does that sinking ship even come to? Like, why would he have to be on a sinking ship? If you're in a world where if the ship systems don't work and you are responsible for the ship systems to work, and if they don't work, everyone dies, including you, what environment would be the best environment to keep you on point? An environment in which the ship is about to sink. Like it's not sunk, but it it it's a it's sinking.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

But for you, right? Like if you just pay attention enough, if you just do enough, if you just just sacrifice and suffer enough, well then the ship's not gonna sink right now, and that's how we keep everyone alive. It's also how we get to be a purpose, right? Right? We get to be important. We're the we're the reason the ship's not not sinking, but it requires the ship to always be sinking in your mind. You can't have the superpower of being the man, and that was the crazy part about it. Uh, like seven times sailor of the year type thing, like he was the best sailor there ever was. Why? Because he lived in a world where the ship was always sinking, but for him, therefore he never missed a watch. He always was perfect in his job. And what does that create today? Now everything in your life, in his life, had to be sinking, yeah, not sunk. Like he never he always had enough money, right? He always had people that wanted to be in relationship with him. He always had the potential for a career, but could never produce it because if he produced it, then the ship wouldn't be sinking. And if the ship wouldn't be sinking, well then we know we're gonna die because the only thing that's keeping us alive is the fact that we live in a world where the ship is sinking.

SPEAKER_03

You know, so many people are listening right now, and I I I mean, as you're telling the story, I was thinking of my own journey, you know. So um things like, you know, I don't like to stay by myself at night. Where does that come from, you know? And uh, but things like that. It's like, oh wow, where did that come from in my past? That that that that is a thing for me.

SPEAKER_00

And how does it how does it link to your core strategies?

SPEAKER_03

Because they all link, they always link to the same thing, which minds abandonment, so it's probably somewhere in there. So therefore I have to do more work on that. Wow, it's just so crazy how this stuff just shows up.

SPEAKER_00

And of course, we've talked about that and over and over and over again every aspect of our life, right?

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

He hadn't been on a ship for seven years, yet he lives on a sinking ship every day. How does he manifest living on a sinking ship? Relationships that don't work, right, jobs he can't keep, and careers he can't have, right?

SPEAKER_03

Which to me, when I hear that, is just suffering over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_00

But it's it's crazy. It's only suffering because his conscious mind wants a solid job and finances, a good relationship and a career. His subconscious mind wants a sinking chip. So you it's like To stay in control.

SPEAKER_03

To stay alive, alive, quote unquote.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. But it really like you dead nailed it on just to feel like it's in control.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And so it gets to feel like it's in control when everything's sinking. And his conscious mind says, but I don't want it to be sinking, I want it to be good. And the subconscious mind says, Too bad, staying alive is better than you being happy. So I could care less if you're happy and fulfilled and joyful and connected. Uh we're gonna I'm gonna keep you alive, and I'm gonna keep you alive by keeping you on your sinking ship. And then what does he do? He creates the decisions, the choices, the actions that ensure that he can't have the career, he can't have his relationships, he can't have money, safety, security because we couldn't.

SPEAKER_03

And it's it's exactly what you just said. We decide. But the crazy thing about it is so many of us think that it's out of our control and things are being decided for us, and this is the way this is just the way it is.

SPEAKER_00

So it's all the way it's all the crazy girls he was around. No, he picked every single one of them because he knew it wasn't gonna work. Yeah, right? It not that it wasn't gonna work, that's the craziest part. You know, uh we you've seen this in the the other group that we've been in. One of the things that Andrew says all the time that I love is the reason you're not gonna do this is because it's gonna work. It's gonna work. Like it's it's gonna work, and if it works, then the ship can't sink anymore. If the ship can't sink anymore, you will feel like you're gonna die. But all we want is this thing over here, and we can't have both, we can have one or the other, and the further these are apart, the more stress we live in. That's post-traumatic stress, right? Right. And that's again, capital T truth. Why do we have this in there? Uh, this is untrue. This is true. The more that this is apart, the more suffering we have.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And being able to understand that the sinking ship is of our own creation, right? Was it true that he was on a ship that could sink every day in the Coast Guard?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. That was fact.

SPEAKER_00

But not today.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_00

Right? The relationship doesn't have to sink, the career doesn't have to sink, the the finances, safety, security doesn't have to sink.

SPEAKER_03

But because the subconscious says, no, that's that's the way we operate. Like that's the way we stay safe. Stay in control. It's the funniest part of it. So we have so we make decisions based on the subconscious most of the time, then all of it.

SPEAKER_00

Like we have all of it. We'll do we'll go through our pyramid of consciousness and talk about the power of the subconscious.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so if you want to know more about that, definitely get into that episode. Because then you hear the business.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we're here, you're exactly where your subconscious wants you to be every moment of your life. And if you're unhappy with where you're at, it's because your conscious, subconscious don't agree. Right? So, within that aspect, by asking him the question, so he was conscious when he asked for help. Yes, right? It was an active connection. Then he his subconscious took over and he went back into the ship, the past, far away. When I asked him the question of where are you creating sinking ships? What gave him the sense of fear on the ship was he didn't control if it sank or not.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

By the the very nature, the words of the question I asked were very important. And where are you creating sinking ships? Like that forced him to own that he is not the victim of on the ship, he is a victim of the sea, right? Today, he's not a victim of no relationship, no career, no safety security. He is the orchestrator of it, like he is making it. And so for by as soon as he I brought his awareness back to today, and the fact that he was the orchestrator of this, he went from back there back to present. So he's back here to present with me. And he's like, Oh, everywhere, which is what everyone says. Like, when we ask these questions, when we work people one-on-one, like, where are you doing this? When you identify their thing, you're like, Oh man, everywhere in my life.

SPEAKER_02

Everywhere.

SPEAKER_00

And so he was present. And then the next question, we gotta send him back. I didn't want to, but the next question sent him back off. So then my next question is on this one, this is the tough one. Uh said, uh, what would be true for you if your ship can't sink? What do you think he's at?

SPEAKER_03

He probably couldn't even understand that, right?

SPEAKER_00

Not only could he understand it, he fought.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I was gonna say, it was it was crazy. Like the can you help me to drifting off took a while. Yep. Coming back took a little bit. This was instantaneous. As soon as I questioned his strategy, what is true for you if the ship can't sink? Because the fundamental thing that keeps him alive is the the ship always sinking.

SPEAKER_03

He would lose his purpose.

SPEAKER_00

Not even purpose. He immediately is gonna he you could see the panic because I'm taking away the tool from the subconscious. Because if the ship can't sink, all your strategies of survival are no longer useful.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And so he immediately started fighting with me. What do you know? You don't understand. You don't you don't get it, right? If we need steerage, right? Steerage, if you don't have steerage, you can't steer the ship. If you can't see your ship, you can't keep the bow in the into the ice. If you can't keep the bower into the ice, you're gonna get a hole in the side. So you need steering, and steerage needs generators. And if generators don't work, then you can't have steerage. And if if the generators don't work, the pumps don't work. So when we get to the side and the whole side, and he goes, goes, goes, goes. And you see, the ship sinks. Everything and every everyone dies. No one can do it. So you can't like, oh. And the funniest part is he just sat there and immediately went back into the trauma, right? The past. And when was the last time he was on a ship?

SPEAKER_03

Seven years or so.

SPEAKER_00

Seven plus years ago. So in that moment, as soon as I question the strategy, he immediately proved that it was true based on the past. It's not true now. He's not on a ship now. The ship can't sink now. He's never gotten on a ship, he's on land. It's not possible. But the mind, the subconscious, says, nope, we're on ships. And if you tell me, because back then, if we would have taken the shipping uh sinking ship away from him back then, it would have been dangerous because he might have slept through a watch. Yeah. Like he might not have paid attention to the dial. He might have written the wrong number down. So back then it was absolutely critical that he was on the ship. When I tried to take the ship away today, where it is not important, pure panic, pure argument. And so that's where it take it took a little bit longer, but that is part of I find this very fun. Because at this point I know I'm gonna win, he's gonna lose. So I was like, okay. So we start talking about it. I'm like, hmm, and okay, you're right. All of that that you said is true, right? It is absolutely true that if the generators don't work and the hole gets a high very true. Um, did because I could have started with, are you on a ship? But that would have been too big. So we sort of like, okay, well, uh did your ship sink while you were on it? No. Okay. Um, is it still floating or did it sink once you got off? And he's like, oh, I keep oh, it's still floating. Like, at some point, that ship will be decommissioned by the Coast Guard. Like, it'll get to a point where it's no longer an active ship, and they'll bring it to a shipyard, pull it out, cut it up, melt it down. And so I'm not saying that it's it's not gonna sink between today, because today it's still on the surface, and that day it's decommissioned. Like, you're right, it might sink before that. But is there a chance that it won't sink between now and then? Yes. Okay, so if that's true and it gets decommissioned, cut up, melted down, then your ship couldn't sink. I mean, if you tell me that it could sink, there's also a world where it can't sink. Like, you is that true or not true? Like, okay, it's true. So if it's true that it can make it through its entire life, get decommissioned, cut up, melted down, there is a there at least one possible future where your ship can't sink. Not at all. There's no possible way it can sink. There has to be an answer yes to that. Like, okay, well, if there's a possibility where your ship can't sink, uh, what does that mean for your life? So what would be true for you today if your ship can't sink? Now I'm not saying it could too. Like, I'll let you give you that. It could, like, you're right, it could sink today and you could die and all that's but what if it couldn't? And he's like, oh well, like I could keep my, you know, have a job, like financial security, safety, yeah. Uh is that true? That's a hundred percent true. Um I could have a relationship. Would it all of a sudden it would no longer be irresponsible to commit long term to someone because you're not gonna die? Your ship's not gonna sink. So yeah, you could have is it true that if your ship can't sink, you can have a relationship? Yeah, that's true. Um, could you sleep? Yeah, I could sleep all night, never waking up in a panic, if my ship can't sink. And then this is the interesting part, and the kicker to it all. Uh is it true that if the ship is going to sink, it can't have financial security, safety? Yeah, that's true. It'd be irresponsible to have a relationship. I completely agree with that. It'd be stupid to start a career. So it is a hundred percent true that if your ship's gonna sink, you know, stay in debt, don't have a relationship, don't have a career. That's 100% stay there. Um but if your ship can't sink, that doesn't make sense anymore. If it can't sink, well then you can have safety, security, you can have a relationship, you can sleep through the night, you can have your career. Which one do you want? It's up to you. Like you pick it.

SPEAKER_03

You choose.

SPEAKER_00

And whichever truth you live to, you have to make the choices aligned with that. So if you choose that your ship's gonna sink, if I choose that it's all gonna go to shit, guess what? That's what I'm gonna. Every choice I make is going to be aligned with that. And what environment are I gonna create? The one where everything goes to shit, the ship sinks. Or if I live in a world where it can't sink, well then all of a sudden I can make choices in alignment with that which I want, and my life changes. The environment is up to you. The crazy part is you can't have both. You can't have a world where the ship sinks and it doesn't. And that's we call cognitive dissonance. And in that cognitive dissonance, we get the opportunity to create whatever truth we want, but we have to live in alignment with it. We have to make choices in alignment with whatever truth we hold. And so you get to pick one or the other. A human mind can't have black and white be the same, right? Can't have sinking and not sinking be the same. And so then the entire game for the rest of our life is choosing: do I want to be on the ship that's sinking or do I want to step off the ship?

SPEAKER_03

It's a great analogy.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And so, Ricardo, what happened with him? And now I have to know. I've just traveled his journey.

SPEAKER_00

He has uh he has a very he has a uh successful career. He started his practice, he's got an office in South Florida, uh uh practicing Chinese medicine.

SPEAKER_02

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00

He's uh he's had a couple long-term relationships. He's still starting. He's still working on like the last time I talked to him, he he decided that he's uh gonna be a monk for a while.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, by choice.

SPEAKER_03

By choice, you get to decide.

SPEAKER_00

But not because the ship's sinking. Like that's the coolest part about it. Uh security, safety, uh life is significantly, significantly better than what would have been about five, six years ago. Yeah. And I can see that in my own life. I see it in clients' lives, where once we identify the new truth that we want and we start acting towards it, life gets uh we can create the world that we want versus the world our subconscious wants.

SPEAKER_03

I think that that's the hardest part is knowing that we choose. We choose.

SPEAKER_00

To me, it's to me, it's the the the worst and the best. Like the fact that we choose is the worst because then everything that isn't good in my life is my choice. Yes. The good is then I can so then I can change whatever I want.

SPEAKER_03

I decided when I learned this technique, the fact is because we choose, I felt more powerful. I was like, wait, that means I could design anything that I want to design. And that motivated me, that inspired me, that uplifted me. It gave me hope.

SPEAKER_00

Um, what's your sh so I know this answer, but you know, Ricardo's ship is the literal ship, right? The same ship. The literal ship. You know, mine, he his and mine are very similar, right? Mine was everything's going to go to shit. And what's and the words are super important. For me, it isn't it is shit, it's going to go to shit, right? It's about to go to shit. People are gonna get hurt, it's all my fault. That's kind of my flavor. Therefore, I get to suffer. And uh what's yours?

SPEAKER_03

Flavor of suffering.

SPEAKER_00

Your ship.

SPEAKER_03

My ship would be the ship of abandonment, and the specifically, people leave me, people die, people abandon me. Me.

SPEAKER_00

Unless what?

SPEAKER_03

Unless I perform for their love.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

Unless I perform for their love.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, which ties to our you know, we had that whole conversation in a previous podcast around ambition and how uh ambition that comes for from performing for love.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

It will always be hollow.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah.

SPEAKER_03

But the cool thing about the ship analogy, and I love this, is the fact that you can watch yourself walking onto the ship. You're like, I'm on the plank, you know? Yeah, we talked about it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the like the gang plank we talk about. Like when we go through the intensives with individuals, with people, there's all these different parts. Like we we define the ship, right? And the ship is a set of behaviors based on a core belief that's false, right? So the set of behavior each person ships a little different, right?

SPEAKER_03

Like if mine is about abandonment, I'm gonna have certain behaviors to be abandoned.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Specifically, did you hear that? I'm gonna have I'm gonna have several behaviors to ensure my abandonment.

SPEAKER_00

The same thing.

SPEAKER_03

That's so crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. To ensure it. To ensure it's above it. All because you don't want it, right? Like that's the whole piece. Like same thing for me, right? The the uh everything's gonna go to shit, people are gonna get hurt, it's all my fault. But really, my behaviors, my ship, like how do I know when I'm on my ship? I'm creating suffering.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Right? So my ship is all about suffering for other people. Right. And the more I get to suffer for other people, the more I am uh on my ship.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Right?

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And what's neat about that is that when you really identify it, not only do you identify the ship, right, you identify the behaviors. Uh we also will identify the gangplank, right? Like what are the environments that are your fig, if for those of you that don't know ships, gangplank's the uh like the the plank, the metal uh ramp that goes from the ship to shore, like that you easily get on. So we refer to that as the the what are the things that have you board your ship, put your captain's hat on, you know, put it full speed ahead. Yeah right. And those are those vary for every person. Like from me, my uh gangplank are uh uh emotionally volatile women. What I mean by that is uh a woman that has emo will be uh emotionally up and down, um that will say something that is not factually true, because it's emotionally driven, which isn't bad, right? Um, at which I'm wrong, like I've done something wrong. Like that's my favorite thing, right? Because it's like the autism has me not understand the emotions, which makes me scared. They're speaking words that are not true, and the only way I navigate humans is through their words. So when their words are not true, I get even more panicked, and then it feeds to my whole I'm at fault that I've done something wrong. And that's like ah it's my favorite. Put the captain's hat on, honk the horn, full speed ahead.

SPEAKER_03

We're ready to sink. Wow. So you mentioned intensives a minute ago. Um, I've I got to experience intensive with you. Um, do you want to say a little bit about it? Uh kind of the the uh overall, and then I can kind of share some of my um perspectives.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it's really like this sinking ship process really was the the starting point. In it was amazing because in sitting in that moment, it was probably about an hour conversation with Ricardo, and in that hour conversation, I was able to give him clarity as to how he was creating the dissatisfaction he had with his current life, how he was the orchestrator, not the victim, and that there was hope, a possibility that it didn't have to be that way. Right, right, it was part of our ambition for him. And in that place, the coolest thing for me was I was able to do that. So, did he talk about the the fire that was on the ship one time? No, never he he didn't talk about how uh the challenges he had with his, I think I believe abusive father. Now that I worked with him later and talked to him later, like, oh, that's where it started. And the Coast Guard, just like the SEALs for me, it was a realization of that same environment that he grew up in as a little boy. Uh, we didn't talk about any of that stuff through his words that were different than his intent. His intent, his his purest intent was to live in safety, connection, and happiness fulfillment, right? That's what he wanted. He wanted that safety and security in his finances, he wanted connection with a relationship, and he wanted fulfillment, joy and happiness, bringing them to people and living in it with his career, right? So all he wanted consciously was safety, joy, fulfillment, connection. Uh, yet his words around the ship and the sinking ship was the opposite of that, like they were different. And it was in that moment that I realized that if I can hear the difference in someone's words from their intent, trauma strategies of survival live in the middle. And if we can define that very clearly, like I was able to define with him, what if your ship can't sink, that's now a doorway to get off the ship.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

As well as a window in which to identify what gets us on the ship. So that was the starting point for me. As soon as I figured out with him, I any person that was traumatized that was around me, I would ask a bunch of questions to see if I could find their ship.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And everyone's ship was different. Right. Eventually that led into a process where not only could I do it, I could do it on demand. I'd do it in a very clear process of being able to sit with an individual, ask a series of questions, and the cool, like to me, by far the coolest part of this work is when I was going through uh post-traumatic PTSD therapy support, the vast majority of it was focused on the experiences. Because remember at the very beginning, we talked about trauma is not the experience, it's the lesson.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

But all the therapies I went through would have me talking about these horrible experiences I went through. And all it was doing ultimately was making it worse. Like it in one hand, my emotional charge went down, meaning I could talk about it and it wouldn't, I wouldn't panic, but my behaviors weren't changing. So as soon as I didn't panic when we talked about the firefighters, they're like, you're healed. Yet I'm still making all the stupid decisions based on the strategies that came from those firefights, not the emotional charge. So, yes, I could talk about it, but my life wasn't getting any better. And being able to use language to identify those strat the behaviors without ever talking about the experience was a game changer. Because now all of a sudden, it doesn't matter what drove your specific traumas. What mattered was what behaviors are you using today that are not making the life that you want? And so being able to do that through linguistic patterns was what we did. And in the intensives, that was the focus. What is your specific strategy for survival? Uh, what parts of it served you, what parts of it don't serve you anymore? And then because of cognitive dissonance, sinking ship, ship can't sink, words provide us with uh a trap, right? So once we define the ship, the ship's sinking, we can create a linguistic inverse, ship can't sink, and that is our doorway to freedom. Because once I have a clear picture of my untruth, I can create a linguistic inverse that can't exist while this can. And as long as every day, a thousand times a day, I remind myself the ship can't sink and choose that, right? My life gets better. And so the that process has been refined and run hundreds and hundreds of times with, and my audience was always high, very high performing people over the last six, seven years, and that was a point. Like, what is their specific strategy? What's a linguistic inverse for creating it, and then how do we sponsor them to l make that choice every day?

SPEAKER_03

And just as a graduate of that, because I went to an intensive, it was about three-day, I believe I was with you for three days, a a small group of us. And um for me personally, it was like I want to fix it, I want to fix it fast. So that was that was you know, I wonder why. Perform for love. So probably that for myself, right? Um, but but it is true. Like I wanted, I wanted to, I wanted to start this quickly. And um and progress quickly.

SPEAKER_00

And progress quickly every call.

SPEAKER_03

Every and progress quickly. But so so to the to our point earlier when we discussed it, I used my trauma for really good treats, and that was even part of my healing journey until I figured out, wait, you can kind of slow down on the healing journey and enjoy the process. And it's actually a beautiful journey as well. But as far as like being in a graduate of an intensive, it was just that. Um, being able to really pinpoint what my untruth is and to understand why I behaved certain ways that I behaved up until this point of life. And then being able to know what my truth is, um, like you said, it's that linguistic. And then and also learn how sneaky the subconscious is, and it's like a it's like a continual game every day, and then understanding that I also get to choose the behaviors, the effective behaviors for the life ultimately that I want to live, um, more connection with self, others, and God for me. And um it it was a it was a great journey. Um, I'm sure that we're gonna talk more and more about intensity.

SPEAKER_00

It was for you, I'm uh I'm you I'm interested because I've never experienced it. I've only ever been on the the giving side. What was the difference? Because you've experienced all sorts of development, personal development, programs, processes, some of some of the highest, most expensive levels. What's the difference? What was the difference? Was there a difference? I guess is even a better question.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, I think that a lot of the times, well, this was very specific. It was specific to Vicky.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, so like you said, all of us are on a different ship. Um, there were some similarities though in the class, which was so interesting, our group and the way that it it was formed together, but by but not purposely, which was even more interesting to me. But how some of our truths were so similar and our untruths. So that was a really cool experience. Um I would also say um a community, like having a community that you felt very in a very safe place to do this, and that like exactly what you said, we didn't talk about what happened. We didn't have to talk about the big trauma and why I met you at that point, the loss of my husband. Um, it was more about the all the all the times of my life that I that I had this perceived loss of control and why I made up these these strategies for surviving.

SPEAKER_00

And the crazy I remember for you the crazy piece of this entire time you had been living in the lie to yourself that you were always abandoned or left.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00

When in reality you were the one doing the abandoning.

SPEAKER_03

Which I never saw that anyway. So, of course, if I was at another um self-development or trying to do it at home on my on my own through the work, I would have I would have been like, oh yeah, it's because they left me, they left me, they left me, they died, they died. I could show you right here on paper. Whereas um, no, actually it's you. It's a you thing. Yeah. But the cool thing about it is you have a choice, you can decide, and you can literally live in alignment and in freedom um and in pure joy, happiness, and fulfillment. So I think that that was the biggest uh thing um that I that it that separated this from anything else and actual tools. Yeah. Um being able to see it very clearly when I'm on a ship, being able to see it very clearly when it's subconscious or if it's um I'm not sure. Yeah, not being general, it's very, very specific. Very specific. So I would say that that was the biggest. But but you know what also? I've also been self-developing for 12 years, and I've never had more progress than I had in the last year in the 12 years. So the last year has has gotten me even further than 11 years before.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I would are I would say just from my perspective on the other side, the the intensity and care and awareness slash consciousness that you put into the work is what makes the progress, right? Like it isn't, it isn't like it's a magic bullet. Like that's the craziest piece to me in talking to people. Like, I never I don't heal anyone. Like, I can't heal anyone, I can't help you. It's and it's funny, like these principles aren't even mine. Like, I've I can put them into good words, but they're fundamental truths. Uh, it is the amount of work, care, and consciousness that you're willing to put into the awareness of it, and that's where uh at least even for me, and been on this journey for seven, eight years of of this specific one, I still spend tons of time looking at every little detail of where where it shows up again, and it keeps showing up. The craziest, I think this is one of the last points to to leave people with is um we talk about this ship, right, which is just a strategy of survival, it's a set of rules that the subconscious uses. The crazy part about it, and to me, this is one on one side very frustrating as a person that has a ship, just like we all do, and on the other side, super empowering. Like it's definitely big on both sides. And I think people that that find their really can define their ship, see it, and then work their way off of it, they all have the same experience. We have one strategy as a human. My strategy is different than yours. Each human strategy is slightly different. But my I have won my entire life. Like that's what was crazy to me to see because I thought, well, the way I experienced the the playground at recess as an eight-year-old has got to be different than you know the first time that I was heartbroken from a girl. It's gotta be different than going off to war. It's gotta be different than my first firefight. It's gotta be different than the first time that I was sitting there not knowing if my car was gonna blow up or not on a secret mission, right? Like those all have to be completely different experiences. But what what I've found, and I can prove this through hundreds of cases uh with clients is that it's the same strategy. You establish one, you only have one ship, right? You establish one strategy somewhere between four and eight, and then every experience where you have a perceived loss of control again for the rest of your life, it's viewed through that same lens, and your decisions are made through that same lens. So on one side, the the heavy part to me is like, oh man, I've done the same thing to myself over and over and over and over again. But the good side is you got one thing to fix. That's what I was thinking the whole time.

SPEAKER_03

It's just one thing to fix, it's easy. And uh I would also say that the encouragement that we give in the in the courses and the curriculum and the intensives is the ability to practice. Yeah. And it's like a rep and it's practice. And I remember in a lot of our talks together, you're like, just get back out there, keep practicing, cause friction. And I'm like, oh, this sounds terrible in the beginning. But now I'm just like, I'm looking for opportunities to like, you know, be in it because I want to practice and I want to get it. Where's the ice? Like, oh, let's go find ice. Let's go do it. Let's go find the ice, let's break it in. I love that. Now that is perfect. Um, one question before we end this episode is what could be a tool like for people listening? And because now we live, they're thinking, I'm I'm I'm ship. What's my ship? Like what what what is there something that they could work on now to ask themselves some questions? Is there is everybody like you need to just start keys, just continue to listen to us, get in one of our curriculum programs. Just where where would you start? You can't leave somebody in the hallway by themselves and then they're going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00

On the ship.

SPEAKER_03

No, they don't even have anything to do with the city.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

So we have to help them.

SPEAKER_00

I uh we do not have to help them.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Yes, okay. We do not. Should we say more? Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So well, it's twofold. Okay. Like this is one of the things that bothers me the most. It hurts, yeah, child. I hate this, but it's true. Um every strategy of survival, so every ship is a strategy of disconnection. Disconnecting from self, disconnecting from others, disconnecting from all that's greater than us. Um that means that the only way to solve it is through connection. And therefore you can't do it alone. Like it just sucks. Like it sucks because to have this knowledge and to know how it works, I I would love to be able to tell someone they could just do it themselves. Like you could just sit there and figure it out, but you can't because your your subconscious mind is more powerful than your conscious mind. It's going to hide it from you. And so, as much as you're sitting out there thinking, I want to figure out my ship, you can't really do it on your own. There's nothing I can do, nothing I can say that would have you be able to figure it out. Um, but where would we start? Like, where would I start? Uh and not people aren't gonna like this. So uh uh the way I say this often is uh I'm sorry and you're welcome at the same time. Like, so you're gonna be thanking me on one side and hating me on the other side. Uh one of the best ways to go about this, like to step your foot into figuring out your ship, uh, ask up ask those around you. Like, uh and it's not gonna necessarily be the most fun for you because it's like going to people that are around you a lot and ask them saying, hey, when I'm the most off, when I'm the most like not myself, what are the patterns of behavior choices or words that you hear me saying? Like that would be and then do that a bunch.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Like go to a bunch of deep meeting, like, hey, when I'm when I'm the most not myself, when I'm the most off, when I'm kind of beating myself up or making it the hardest on myself, or doing the the making the worst choices, and I know you've seen me do that and been frustrated watching someone you care about do that. What what behaviors and choices or what words do you hear me saying often? Uh you do that four three, four times, it's gonna you'd be surprised, it's gonna be pretty obvious. Like people are gonna be able to say, like, people for for me, if I went and did that to my my circle of people, they'd be like, You want to torture yourself, you want to make it hard on yourself, you want to do it on your own, right? And you don't get the benefit from it. Like it that would show up, and that's my ship, right? Suffering for other people's love and affection.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And so the best way to get an insight is through connection, and that's gonna take a little authenticity, a little vulnerability. You gotta offer them trust in doing it, but you will feel uh the coolest part about that is because all trauma, all strategies of survival are strategies of disconnection, by simply taking this step, you will create connection, you're gonna heal some of the trauma. And so you get double benefit. You get a little insight into the ships, your ship, some flavor of your ship, and then you're gonna get uh you're gonna get some connection, which will heal some of the trauma.

SPEAKER_03

I think that that I think that's a great start.

SPEAKER_00

And that's where I'd love, I'm sure we've got somewhere people can post comments. I would love to hear in the comments, like, okay, I talked to my mom and I talked to my my brother and I talked to my business partner and I talked to my wife, and and they said I always do this. And the key, like if you want to go like varsity level, is what what language, what words do you say often again, over and over again?

SPEAKER_03

To yourself.

SPEAKER_00

What they hear you speak in.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, got it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, right? Like uh I have a client who what they what you would hear them speaking all the time is no one's supporting me. I have to do this all by myself.

SPEAKER_03

I have to do this all by myself. That was my big one. Yep, I have to do this all by myself. All by myself.

SPEAKER_00

I or yours also would be I have to. I have to, right? I have to do it. I have to that, I have to do that, right? And so that's the language is what I like my my superpower and my tool in this is in the language, and that's how you can start saying it. Like, what do they hear? Yes, and uh meet it with no judgment, yes, and don't argue with them, yes, which is what you're gonna want to do. You're gonna want to argue. I don't say that, I don't do that. No, just smile and nod.

SPEAKER_03

And go you can curse us, yes, yeah, yell at us, but go at it at a qu out of state of curiosity, you know? Yeah, I love that and post that. And post it. We want to know. We would love to know. Awesome.

SPEAKER_00

So uh we all can thank Ricardo for uh this if it wasn't for that moment uh of his vulnerability and asking for my help, I would have never seen these patterns and and then turned it into a whole philosophy and of healing for myself and others. So uh gratitude to Ricardo.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you, Ricardo.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Stay off your ships, stay off. Or at least recognize when you and choose to keep the captain's hat on. Because as soon as you choose to stay on, you're you're got one foot off. So in this episode, we covered the real definition of trauma, uh, that it's a strategy of survival. Uh, it isn't the experience that caused that strategy of survival. And in that, we all have these strategies of survival. And those strategies of survival require us to act and speak in certain ways, and that's what we refer to as our ship. Uh so I went through in this episode the origin journey of how I came to the understanding of how trauma not only shows up in our lives, but how it negatively impacts our lives through making decisions that are based in the fears of the past or the anxiety in the future. And within that, being able to identify or at least start to explore what your sinking ship might be, you start to get an insight into the subconscious strategies of survival that may no longer be serving you. So welcome to that journey. And it is a lifelong journey of choosing to step off our ship and live in truth and alignment instead. Thanks for listening to Capital Tea Truth. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. As you know, the work doesn't stop when the episode ends. For more, visit the website at capitaltetruth.org to submit a question to be answered live on a future podcast. We also invite listeners onto the podcast to work directly with me, where we dive into your personal strategies for Bible and we solve them live. Until next time, live in Capital T Truth.