Why Your Revenue Plateau Isn't a Strategy Problem | Jess Pinili

You've changed the strategy. Hired coaches. Tried the new content angle. Why is the ceiling still there?

In this conversation with business mentor Jess Pinili, we get into why most women in service businesses stall at a specific revenue level, and why the fix is rarely strategic. Jess works with women scaling service businesses through both strategy and the subconscious work, and she's spent seven years figuring out what actually moves a stuck business forward.

We talk about:

• The morning Jess called her dad crying, refusing to go to work, and the question that flipped everything
• How she moved to Bali with $700 in savings and started the business she still runs today
• Why "capacity is your tolerance for change" is the reframe most women miss
• Why your revenue doubles and then mysteriously drops back to baseline
• Procrastination as emotional regulation, not laziness
• The 90-second move Jess uses when her brain is about to talk her out of a hard decision
• How to spot the difference between real resistance and not enough sleep
• Every new level has a new devil — the patterns that come back at $10K, $30K, and $100K months

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ABOUT JESS PINILI

Jess is a business mentor for women scaling their service businesses. She combines strategy with subconscious and capacity work inside her membership, Woman Mastery HQ.

Connect with Jess Pinili

Website:  https://womanmasteryhq.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jesspinili
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jesspinili
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jesspinili

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DM me "stuck" if you're doing everything right but can't break past a certain level.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DesiBatista 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamdesibatista 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamdesibatista

1:1 Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/desibatista/30min

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If you're not happy, what are you actually doing about it? That's the question Jespinelli's dad asked her on the phone when she called them crying about not wanting to go to work. Six months later, she had$700 in her savings, had quit her job, moved from Australia to Bali, and started the business she's still running seven years later. Today she mentors women on how to scale their service business without sabotaging themselves. But this conversation isn't about the leap. It's about the part nobody talks about. The way your capacity to hold success is the actual ceiling on your business and what to do when you keep hitting it. We get into why your revenue doubles and then mysteriously drops back. The difference between real resistance and not enough sleep. And the 90-second move Jess uses when her brain is about to talk her out of a hard decision. Um, Desi Batista, this is expansion.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

I always felt bad, I always felt guilty, and I remember waking up one day and I just did not want to go to work. And I called my dad. I called my dad crying and I had told him, like, what do I do? Do I just pretend I'm sick? Do I take a bit of time off? I'm just not enjoying this. And he said, you know, life is too short to feel like this, and and life is too short to worry about whether to be calling in sick. But the overall question is, you know, if you're not happy, what are you actually doing about it? And someone who's been in personal development for a hot minute, I took that and I was like, you're actually right, Dad. You're you're right. There's some knowledge and wisdom in there. And fast forward, I ended up quitting my job.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Can you take me back to a moment in your own journey when you realized that what you were doing wasn't working anymore? Like, not the strategy, something else had to change.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

I will take you back to when I actually first started my business. So it was nearly seven years ago, 2019. And a bit before that, I knew something was off in my everyday life. I was working as a fitness manager for a couple of gyms. And even though on paper, everything looked great. You know, I was making money, I could pay my bills, I had a great friendship group, I liked where I lived. And, you know, things were well, things were good, but there was something inside of me that definitely felt like it wasn't how life was meant to be. And I felt this big disconnect. And I guess you could look at it in the sense of felt disconnected from my purpose, from what I really wanted to do, my overall fulfillment with life and my lifestyle. And I had been thinking about starting a business years before 2019, but back then it wasn't as prevalent as it is now with online coaches and you know, working online. So I really didn't know what that looks like. I just knew that I wanted to work for myself. And I remember a very distinct memory is a couple of months before I started my business, more than a couple, probably about six months. I remember waking up for work. And I'm someone, I'm in my 30s now, but in my 20s, when I had jobs, I never wanted to call in sick. I always felt bad. I always felt guilty. And I remember waking up one day and I just did not want to go to work. And I called my dad crying and I had told him, like, what do I do? Do I just pretend I'm sick? Do I take a bit of time off? I'm just not enjoying this. And he said, you know, life is too short to feel like this, and and life is too short to worry about whether to be calling in sick. But the overall question is, you know, if you're not happy, what are you actually doing about it? And someone who's been in personal development for a hot minute, I took that and I was like, you're actually right, Dad. You're you're right. There's some knowledge and wisdom in there. And fast forward, I ended up quitting my job. I moved from Australia to Bali for just over a year pre-COVID, and I started my online business. And I think in that was one of the biggest shifts I needed to have within myself in how I saw myself and how I operated, because there was no way that I would be able to make such a big shift, not just location-wise, but actually building a business and creating one from not knowing what the concept is I wanted to do and being able to have faith in myself in that next chapter.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

So, how did that look when you say you moved to Bali and you finally started your business? How did that feel for you to make such a big shift from working for somebody to working for yourself and having to be the one that actually decides what's happening day to day?

SPEAKER_01 4:48

It's funny, when I look back on that period, I feel like the first three months, I was terrified, yes, but also fearless at the same time. It's really strange. I don't think the fear or the reality really settled in until about three months in. I think because I had this all-knowing intuitive feeling, like, okay, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea where this is going to go. Is this going to work? Like this is, you know, I at that point had$700 in my savings. I had to make it work. And for me, the after beyond that, if it didn't work, the worst case scenarios for me at that time was having to move back to Australia, move back into my dad's house until I found my own rental again and find another job. And now to some people, that doesn't seem like the worst case scenario. It's definitely not everything's relative. But to me, I was like, that that's all my reality. I don't want to do that again. I don't want to get a job and I want to work for someone. And so it's it's really interesting, is the first couple of months, I just remember having this deep feeling of this is this is a core memory in your life, number one. This is definitely correct for your pathway. And it was that fearlessness. And then I think beyond that, it was this willingness to just do better than what I had been doing. Like everything on paper was good. There was nothing particularly bad about my life. But when you have a feeling that you can do better, that you can do more, you can create more, that you can have a bigger sense of fulfillment, I think that's what was really driving me underneath the fear of, oh my God, is this gonna work? There's obviously, you know, being realistic, the the money aspect of what am I gonna do if this doesn't work? You know, a deep, a deep one was definitely, what are my friends in Australia going to think about this? Because when you move to Bali, and I'm not sure if you've ever been to Bali, but it is full of people who work online. It is full of digital nomads and all that. It's very normalized there to be at a cafe and building something online. Whereas in Australia, it was because it wasn't really a thing back then, it's like, oh, what is Jess doing? What is this thing she's trying to start? She's always on her stories, she's selling, she's creating these things. I think that in itself, over moving country, quitting my job, starting something new, I think that was probably the biggest fear that came up and one of the biggest shifts within myself that I had to overcome.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

When you were trying to expand, and even with all the judgment that you thought you could get from your family and your friends, how did it feel in your body when you were trying to start your business and actually do the activities to be able to be where you are now?

SPEAKER_01 7:51

It's interesting because I think when you expand, and the way that I teach all my clients about expansion is really your tolerance for change. And I think at the top layer of it for me, there was this excitement, this drive, this, oh my God, I'm doing something for myself that I've created by myself. And then underneath that, it it felt like this, it's almost like a pressure cooker in your body of waiting for the results that you're working towards. And then on the judgment side, it's the exposure. It's kind of like exposure therapy, right? Is okay, here's another story that I'm I'm showing up and I'm selling. Here's another thing that I, you know, my my content on my social media is shifting. Here's another thing that I'm talking about. And I think it it's not so much, it wasn't so much doing the actions for me. I think when I set my mind to something and I and something inspires me, I am driven in the sense of, okay, I know what to get done, I'm gonna do it. I think for me, it was more how is this new version of me going to fit in the reality of my friends and family's minds? And that was deeply uncomfortable, deeply uncomfortable in sharing what I was now sharing, of pivoting my social media because you know I came from fitness. And but at the start, it was more around confidence and mindset for women. And I think it was every time kind of a sinking feeling in the stomach of putting something out and kind of waiting for the feedback, and not necessarily like feedback, are they going to send me a message and tell me this is good or bad, but the feedback of what is the response going to be? How am I going to be perceived? When I have conversations with these, with these friends, what are the thoughts, not just to me, but in their head? And so I think from an expansion and a nervous system capacity aspect, it's it like I said, it's almost like this pressure cooker, and you kind of have to sit with it and know, okay, I'm not going to burst. It's okay, I can keep doing this.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

At any point you feel like if I keep going through this, I might lose my friends, or the relationships are no longer going to be the same. Oh my god, great question.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

I think this is such an evolution of myself as a business. There's so many stages here, so many evolutions. I think if you'd asked me this question when I first started, it would be wildly different to what I'm about to say as nearly seven years in. I think I think what I've had to learn is that everyone in your life, no matter what season they come in, and some of these friends have been with me since before high school. Some of these friends have come in my early 20s, uni, some of these friends have come in in my 30s. And I think that I had to let go of needing to control the narrative of what anyone perceives of me when I look at friends and family. Now it's not to say it doesn't hurt or it's not scary still, but I think I at the beginning really forgot that everyone, including myself, we put people in our lives in boxes unconsciously, and that's the box they live in. And so when I started my business, the friends I was thinking about are my friends in my early 20s, my friends from high school, and they had me in a certain box. And that was their perception of me. And so to now wildly go outside what I had been doing, challenge their own perception. And I guess I was internally scared of challenging that because at the root of all human beings, what do we want? We want connection, we want love, we want to be accepted. And I think I've had to learn to know that even if they don't accept what I'm doing, even if they don't accept what I'm about or what my values are, that's okay. That's okay. As long as I'm true to myself and, you know, the things that I'm doing morally and ethically are correct. I think that's the most important thing. But if you'd asked me when I first started, I probably would have said, I am scared. I'm I'm scared about what their perceptions are. I'm scared about what they think. I'm scared about what they might say to other people. But now I think it's just a pure acceptance of everyone's gonna have their perspectives and their opinions, and everything's really neutral. There's no good, there's no bad. It's just how they filter life through. And I think that brings so much more peace in when you were making choices and doing things different to what people expect from you.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

So, what did you think you were capable of, or how did you see yourself when you were trying to expand?

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Great question. My mind really has no limits. I think the limit is the my, if we look at like 3D reality, my capacity to get it done and have enough resources or enough time or time management. And I think that working towards something that you want to create and expanding to that capacity for me was really about what am I doing? That anytime that I check in with this thing, it inspires me and it also challenges me in the best way. I think what I've I've learned over nearly close to a decade is even if something is fulfilling, inspiring, it should to a degree be challenging in the sense of how it's making you evolve and how it's making you stretch your capacity to be better. And not just better results in the sense of success or money, but better in the sense of your own evolution as a human being. And I think that that's really the gauge for me is I have such big ideas and concepts, but it's am I always ensuring that when I'm working towards those things, apart from, you know, time management, resources, 3D physical reality, is it something that still truly inspires me and something that still challenges my thinking, challenges my way of operating? And there's it making me a better person. I think that's the one thing that I always, always keep in mind.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

So did you how did you stay? You say that you when you stay inspired, you're able to keep going. So what was inspiring you overall, or when I first started?

SPEAKER_01 15:09

When you first started, like what could inspire you to keep going? Great question. I think the inspiration comes from I always knew that I wanted to number one be my own boss. I think you know that's not gonna resonate with everyone. I remember saying to my parents at 10 years old, like I'm going to be a CEO, and I I didn't even, I don't even know where I got that word from. Or, you know, that that concept. And I think I just always knew that I wanted to, I don't want to so say go against norms because what is normal, right? Maybe the socially constructed normalization of, you know, having a job and all of that. And I I left high school and I went straight to university. You know, I got a degree in business, like I have a bachelor of business and a bachelor of arts, and I thought, okay, I'm on the right track. I I want to, the right track is to go get a nine to five office job. And I think the gauge for everyone and for me is that you can feel it in your body. It's really an intuitive thing, right? And so some people listening to this, this isn't me against nine to five jobs. My partner has a nine to five job that inspires him and he loves. But I think that you need to be able to choose something, and and this is the hardest thing, right? Choose something that is going. I look at inspiration in the sense of what can you keep doing and keep growing and expanding yourself and tap into that innovation and the creativity. And I think the underlying motivation for me is I've always had a big vision of what I wanted to create it, to create as a business owner, how I want to impact women. And in the in the moments, because there's definitely been hard moments as a business owner or times where I'm like, oh my God, do I have the resilience to this? Anytime you get off track, anytime you feel burnt out, anytime that you feel like, okay, I am quite literally doing all the things, and it just still feels clunky. It's different to do I actually need more discipline, do I need better time management? Do I need to focus? But the clunkiness, and that's what I felt, is okay, even though everything's ticking off on this box, these boxes of this is how life is supposed to be, it felt clunky. And that's probably the best way that I can can describe it. And I think you have this sense, this underlying sense of something doesn't sit right when we speak about capacity and feeling in our body. We always intuitively know. And maybe it can be a 1% that you get a gauge and I focus on. Anytime things feel clunky, or anytime I'm feeling resistance, and again, we need discernment because there's resistance of okay, I'm not motivated because I have only had four hours sleep in the past two days, or there's resistance of, I've been doing this thing for a while, and I had to admit it, I don't really like it, or I don't enjoy how I do it, or the results that are coming from it. And so I think being able to discern between the two, that's what helps with my inspiration, feeling inspired, and I guess in a sense, the motivation to keep showing up, even when there's days where I can't be bothered.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

I know you mentioned when you were 10, you mentioned that you wanted to be a CEO. Was that something that was rewarded early on, or was it frowned upon, or like, no, we're you you need to go a different out route?

SPEAKER_01 18:55

I think as context to this, I am the firstborn, I'm the eldest daughter. So, you know, very high achieving. And from a young age, I think I started dancing and dancing competitions from three years old. And from there, it was I did a range of things: athletics, music, academics, all of it. And I think from early on, that mentality got put into me. And I think it is an eldest daughter thing of okay, I want to be the best that I can. And of course, the nuance in this is this rooted in maybe wanting parents' approval, other people's approval. Yeah, there's degrees to that, of course there is. But I think that saying that, and every time I reflect on it or I share this with someone, I'm always like, where did I even get that concept? I've had that feedback to my friend, where did I get that concept? And I think that when you are high achieving, when you are used to pushing your boundaries of resilience, that's what I think it is. I think that you will continue to choose pathways that kind of highlight that. And when I said that, I think it was kind of not expected at 10 years old, because nobody expects that from a 10-year-old. But I think because I had been put down this part by my parents, and you know, I'm I'm glad because it created the person I am now, but I think it was kind of like, oh, that's obvious when it comes from Jess. I think though when you throw into the mix of well, how when I was growing up in in high school, and you know, the next steps, it was normal to go to university, to get a job, to get a bully, you know, stock standard. So I think it was kind of like, well, we we kind of expect this high achieving brain and these high-achieving comments and insights from Jess, even at a young age, but it's also like here's the societal expectations that she should go down or encourage. But, you know, in saying that, credit wise, credits to my parents, I think they got used to me very quickly be having a very strong personality, standing my ground, being very stubborn. And, you know, even when I rang my dad before I quit my job, it was it wasn't like, you know, just think it out and and just or whatever. He looking back on when he said, you know, why doing this if it doesn't make you happy? And I think that is such a testament to being able to listen to what you really, really need, regardless of what feedback you get from your parents, primary caregivers, the people you grew up with.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Right. Yes, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of the way we see ourselves rarely comes out of nowhere. And a lot of it has to do with our early conditioning or our upbringing. So when you look back, or when you look at the women you work with, how much of what's holding them back or pushing them forward if started before their business ever did?

SPEAKER_01 22:10

I would say a hundred percent. All of it. A hundred percent of myself, of women I worked with, when I had conversations with friends, other business owners, and I think that the part of the work and the work that I share with all of my clients is we really truly have to understand that. Now, again, discernment here of not everything is as simple as just like how I broke it down is yeah, you know, part of my conditioning is I got put into dancing and X, Y, Zent. There's other degrees of lack of a better term, you know, trauma and how we're conditioned. But I think in an overall sense, when I work with women, all of their tendencies of pulling back, of playing small, of making certain decisions that aren't in alignment with what they truly desire is because of, you know, conditioning, of growing up and holding on to those. Because when we look at how we grow up and our primary caregivers are our parents and their relationships we form are close relationships, we pick up narratives, we pick up habits, we pick up behaviors, we pick up ways of creating our values and everything is is streaming through our values, and that's why it's unconscious. You know, this is a lot of the work I do, and understanding your identity and understanding your behavior is everything becomes unconscious. And so we don't even realize that we're doing it as adults until someone leaves it back to us. But when you recognize that it's just as easily as you picked it up, you can change it. Doesn't mean it's going to be an overnight change or a quick, easy change. But I think that's the beauty in recognizing where it came from, understanding who you picked it up from, and thinking, okay, if I don't like that about myself or the way it's it's hindering my growth of my evolution, I can change that. And I think that's such a beautiful mindset and you know, something that's the work why I do the work that I do. But when I really started seeing personal development, maybe around 1819, and you know, as everyone did, law of attraction and manifestation and understanding mindset, I think you really it's profound at, well, I could say how I am and I could get the same results, or I can give myself the chance to change if I want to.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Are there common patterns that you see with them that came from early childhood or early conditioning?

SPEAKER_01 24:51

I would say a couple of common patterns that I see in my client, I have seen in my clients over the past few years is number one around money mindset. And particularly, I have to work really, really hard for money. That's super, super common. That's something that I have worked on extensively, is it's seeing the way that your parents' primary caregivers worked, and then growing up and associating hard work means more money. And of course, we know that gets you just into this cycle of forever being in this loop. Another very common one is definitely, as we touched on for myself, around a fear of judgment, yes, but more so the fear of being seen. Seen for who you truly are, and afraid beyond that of being misunderstood, being rejected, not being accepted. And I see that a lot in women is the choices and behaviors they make. On the surface, it's not necessarily perceived bad, but they are continuous choices and habits that actually reflect the deep feeling of being seen, and a chance that they're not going to be accepted, or the chance that why would I do this if I'm going to fail publicly? And publicly could be to two friends, or it could be to two million people, you know? And so definitely I have to work hard for money, the the fear of being seen, but more so accepted. And another very common pattern that I see is procrastination, but in the sense of when they have a fear of success. So if we look at procrastination and break it down, it's actually just a way that we emotionally regulate, whether we are scrolling on TikTok for three hours, we go do the laundry instead of you know a needle-moving task, etc. It's just how our body is trying to get us back to normal and emotional stability. And beyond that, and why we do that is because beyond that, we're scared of perceived success. So a common example that I give is if you know that the next step, let's say, as a business owner, is to create long form content and you book it in, and then it gets to that week and you justify and you go, actually, I can't do this, I have to go do something else. Gets to the next week, put it off R. It's not necessarily, oh, you're just not good at content. And this is what I hear, I'm not good at content, or I don't know how to do it, or you know, I don't have a good background. It's actually what do you think is going to happen beyond that the success if you break it down? Okay, you create this piece of content, and to make it simple, you you get more money. And then what does that mean? That success, if it's money, does it mean more responsibility? Does it mean that people are gonna treat you differently? And so that's a definitely a common one is the behavior of procrastination, but more so connected to fear of success and what we perceive happens when we get that success.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

So procrastination in business can show up as them not doing the things that they should be doing, not doing the work because of how things could go. Is there any way that these patterns show up in their business? For procrastination? For procrastination, for uh feeling like they have to work hard in order to be able to make money. Like, are there other ways that these show up in their business?

SPEAKER_01 28:42

A really, really common one, and I just had a recent conversation with my membership members on a call about this, is fixing and tweaking things before we allow the data to come in. So a clear, tangible example is let's say that you're in a you're about to launch a product or a service, a new offer. And so you've you've done all the things. You've got your landing page, sales page, you've got you know your assets that you need, you know, exactly roughly okay. This is gonna be four weeks. This is cut open. You've got all your messaging, content pillars, etc. You create that, you start your launch, and then within a couple of days, you're not getting the results you expected. Because we like to put it up like we correlate it with our effort. It's like, and I've done it too, and I'm definitely guilty of this. We've just worked a whole month on all these assets, and now I've been selling for two, three days. Where are my millions of dollars? Right. Because our brain does that. But then what happens is a couple of days in, we don't get immediate feedback, or maybe you're even a week or two in, and it's like, all right, I'm getting a result, but it's it's not what I expected. So instead, what we do is we choose from emotions instead of data. And that's a huge thing I see. And so what that looks like is instead of looking at the data and going, okay, well, this landing page, broken links here, and it's not converting well, but this email newsletter is doing really well. So what can I do? We think that's not working, that's not working. I need to change my messaging, I need to change the way I'm doing content. I need to have an out higher output of content, which means you're gonna burn out in three days because you don't have the capacity for that. And then you'll ghost your audience when in the last week of launch. And so we tweak, we fix, and we choose from emotions instead of data. This is a big thing I drill into my members is yeah, of course, you're always gonna feel emotional or some type of way in your business. But the best thing is to ensure that doesn't dictate you. So that's a huge one is always tweaking, refining, never learning from data. Or, and I say this is one of the most impatient people ever, not practicing patience to let things do their thing. You know, if you've lit if you listen to this and you have let something do its thing without changes for three months, six months, nine months, yeah, okay, that's a different story. But if you're constantly, every week, something messaging's changing or the way you're doing things is changing, there's no time for data and feedback. Another one is keep busy work over productive work. I think this, and you know, this is very, very common. It's about catching those behaviors. So if we know, and the way that I determine this and I share with my members is as a business owner, is this action that I'm taking going to move the needle in building more revenue, more profit? And that should be the filter that we go into decisions. Now, you may look at that and go, well, you know, it's the week I really do have to fix my broken links on my landing page and just I got new branding photos. Still filter it through. Is that going to move the needle in revenue? Yes, because you're fixing broken links. People can't pay you with those. But if you get on your a your laptop in the morning and think, I'm gonna spend a few hours just on Canva, make a new, you know, brand palette, choose new fonts, and then you know what? I've heard I've seen and heard this a lot. I'm gonna scroll and reels and TikTok for inspiration and ideas. And then before we know, we're four hours down and what ideas, what inspiration has come from that. And so it's we feel busy, and then we end the day or the week and we go, well, I was my my whole week was back to back. I was doing things constantly. And then we have to look at, okay, what actually moves the needle? It doesn't mean that there's leaps and jumps, because you know, one percent, one percent of messy inspired action is really the compound effect, right? All these small things, they build up, and then all of a sudden it's like this is what people call overnight success. It truly isn't. It's just 1% compounded, and then all of a sudden the results come. So we think busy work over productive work and being able to catch yourself in that as a business owner. And then the last one I share, I'll share is what I've seen as quite common is watering down that message. And it doesn't mean you need to be the most polarizing person on the internet, it doesn't mean that you have to have this wildly crazy opinion or point of view, perspective, values to get traction. But and I've done a lot of work around this and around, you know, fear of being seen, fear of visibility, is not really saying what you want to say and allowing yourself to convey that in the medium that you enjoy. For me, and you can probably tell I'm a yucker, I love long form content. It's my preference, you know. The the world shifted into short form content, and that's fine, I adapt, but I definitely is why I have my own podcast because I definitely prefer long form and I always thrive in that. Whereas other people could look at long form content or lives or YouTube or podcasts and think, oh no, thank you. That's the worst thing. Yet people think, well, everyone's, you know, I started my podcast 2018 before I had a business. And when everyone now having a podcast, it's not everyone has a podcast. It's is that the medium that you can clearly articulate your message and convey. And if it's not, that that's a way of sabotaging your own success. Is the brain is going to do anything to cope and to make you feel safe. And so we'll choose things that we think are the right things instead of the scary things. Like if you for instead of long form, you really thrive in, let's say, 60 second, highly reddited, highly edited short form reels. Do that. But the brain might go, yeah, yeah, but that's that's gonna take too much time and it's too scary, and you don't like it's just easy to do the other thing, but it just becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So I definitely think, you know, when it when it looks at watering down message, I look at it in not just okay, you say what you want to say, but are you doing it in the medium that is the best for you? And that that takes practice, that takes time, and it takes patience to perfect, I use that word loosely, but your craft and what you enjoy and how you can do that. And I say this to all my members who come into my membership who are new to business more so. I mean, I I say this to women who have been in business years and years, but my newbies is we don't know when we start what works and what doesn't. Even early seven years in, there's some things I want to try. And it's like, yeah, we'd love to know, does that work? But we don't we don't know for ourselves. And that's what I say, especially when it comes to just on a content aspect or doing things in business, is what works for one person may not work for you. And that's absolutely okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

When you have the newbies come in, how are they different from the people you've already been working with as far as their nervous system and their identity?

SPEAKER_01 36:37

When I have new members come in who are new to business, they're not, I haven't yet, as of this conversation, but none of them have never done any type of mindset work or, you know, known about nervous system. So I I want to have that context. Is the biggest difference is just the amount of reps the older business owners in time length have done. How many times they've had to practice resilience, how many times they've had to show up, how many times they've had to actually learn what capacity is. You know, everyone looks at nervous system capacity, like, let's be calm. It's it's not. It's how can you tolerate more change? How can you stretch yourself? And change is more success. It's it's not something bad's going to happen. It's you're you want to expand more, you want more money, more visibility, then you have to do the things that are different to what you're doing now. And that's the biggest difference is the women who are new in business haven't had that many reps, haven't experienced that that many points in a business sense of failures, which is feedback. That's how I see it, that's how I filter it, but also how they learn quickly. I say I say to my members, my private clients, fail quickly. Fail as quick as you can. That's the best feedback you can ever get. And that just means make the decision quickly and take the risk. Or maybe it's not even a perceived risk, just make the decision now. And that's another actually big, big difference is business owners who have done it for a while knowing, okay, I need to make this decision today or within the next hour. The new business owners haven't really trained that muscle yet. It's kind of like, oh, I'll think about it, you know, for a few days, I'll see how it feels, or maybe next week, or maybe I'll just speak to a few people. And you you will learn very quickly, but you need to make them quicker. And I think being able to learn how it feels in your body, what your reactions are, you know, when I look at new members come in, I think I see and I start to discover, oh, it's not just okay, let's put out this sales page checkout page and sell a few times or create this piece of content. It's a full bodily experience. That's why I do both the strategy and the subconscious work because yeah, you can put that out and have it tick all the right things of a sales page, for example. But what is what are you actually feeling when you put that out? When you create it, when you sell, when you make money, when you hold money. And I think new business owners start to learn, well, my members do start to learn the correlation of, well, that feels really good. But that, even though I know intellectually that's going to help me build a profitable business, that feels weird in my body. And it's about giving themselves the grace to explore that. Whereas I think the older business owners start to learn really quickly, have learned that really quickly, what that looks like. But the I guess the caveat there is if an older business owner's coming in, they've already established, I put in quotation marks, bad behaviors in a sense that aren't helping them or limiting behaviors, right? That they've recognized. And so it's just like if you train a new employee and they have worked in the same field before, they've got habits that they're used to versus someone who is fresh and has never worked in the field, you can mold them. And so I think for both new and who have been in business for a while, it's just all about the adapt uh adaptability uh to capacity.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Yes, I think the nervous system is so important, more than we realize a lot of the times, how it affects us. So you've mentioned capacity. How are they able to expand their capacity to be able to implement the strategies and not retract? Great question.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

The biggest thing with expanding your capacity is being able to choose things that are going to make you comfortable in real and uncomfortable in real time. But on an intellectual note, you know, okay, this is a white choice, but it's scary, and to stick with it. And that's how we build the capacity, and that's how we build our tolerance, is choosing the reps that are constantly challenging. The way I kind of put a visual for my members is imagine each capacity is like a brick wall. And so you've hit that brick wall of capacity, and it's knocking down those bricks. But there are certain movements that are going to knock down the bricks. But if you can if you keep doing the same movements that got you to this capacity, the bricks stay there. They can't move because they're so used to that impact. And that's exactly what it is. And we want to continue to choose movements, behaviors to be able to knock that down to stretch our capacity. It's also like, you know, another analogy that I love to use, it's it's like a balloon. So the feeling, this is more so for the feeling in the body. If we blow up a balloon, what starts to happen is we blow it up and it gets to a point where we have to stop because it's gonna pop in our face. And so as we get to that point of blowing up a balloon, it's like, oh, okay, I'll stop now. I don't want to swap in my face. You get a little bit scared, you tie it and you throw it away, and you go to the next balloon. Capacity is when you get to that point, just like a balloon where you feel like it's gonna pop in your face, recognize in your body and for business sense, is that selling more? Is that more content? Is that um changing your office week? Is that firing or even firing a feeling of blowing up the balloon and being scared is gonna pop in your face? That's what you feel when you reach that capacity and you need to do something. The important thing there is to lean into that edge of, okay, my heart is hitting really fast. I feel nervous. My brain's also telling me that this is why would you hire right now, even though I'm struggling to keep up, and maybe financially it's gonna be a bit of a stretch, but I know this is the right thing, I can feel in my body this is really, really scary. And but it's making that choice. And as business owners, if we can lean into those things and really like the balloon of lean into the uncomfortability, it then becomes normal. And then we stretch and we expand for more. And if we're making those choices at all as compound, that's how we. Get results. It's not just doing one big leap and thinking, okay, I'm going to get it. It's some things are going to be a slower stretch. Some things just like holding more money. This is why I see business owners come to me and they go, Well, I had this high month last year. I can't repeat it. Yeah, there's definitely strategic elements in that always. But at a capacity level, and you know, the other, the other around belief. But from a capacity level, is can you actually hold that much money? Well, the answer is no right now. That's why you can't repeat it. But how does it feel to hold and receive and have that? And then what do you correlate that with? Because it's not just, I mean, money is a neutral resource, but we correlate it in our 3D physical reality with more. And so I think having the ability to lean in when it feels scary and the things that are, like I said, putting in the reps. And if you're a good gauge, if you're not stretching your capacity, if you look back in the last 90 days and nothing has really changed. And you feel like, okay, I have been doing things. It's not if you're just sitting there hoping for things to change, but I have been doing things. I have been showing up and you can truly audit proactively and not justify, oh yeah, like I did show up for you know four weeks, but like I had to have three weeks break because XYZ happened. But if you do a proper audit and can be honest, and nothing has changed in the way or towards the way, then that's definitely a capacity thing. Like, yes, there may be strategic tweaks as a business owner, but that's a capacity thing of there is something keeping you in the rebounds of that.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

So, how often do you see that women are trying to constantly fix the strategy, make tweaks? And at what point do they realize, like, okay, this is this is more than that? It's not strategy because everything is in place. Like you said, everything is in place. I've tracked it, there has to be something else.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

Well, every new level has a new devil, right? I think I see it in every single business owner that I work with, is no matter if they've made their first thousand dollars or they've made their first$100,000 month, it will always come up in some degree and in some way, shape, or form. So let's look at a business owner. Let's say they made their first thousand dollars in business, and it may come in the form of perfecting content and rewriting captions and tweaking. Now, if we take that same business owner and let's say their work through it and a year later they make their first$100,000 a month, this may now come in the way not responding to emails that are giving them opportunities to speak on stages or ignoring DMs and saying, I'm gonna come back to that later. It may come in the sense of their mastermind price has stayed the same for the entire year and they're feeling resentful every single time they come into court. They love what they do, they love their clients, but every time they're resentful because their price positioning has not changed. And so it's these small things, whereas back when they first made$1,000, it's like, oh my God, this is so much money. This is great. My first mastermind climb. But now it's okay, you're expanding, standing, expanding, you're doing more, you're becoming resentful. That's a that's a big thing in business for all businesses, is where is their hidden resentment coming up? And so I think it happens at all levels, it just happens at different degrees. And it's being able to have those honest conversations with ourselves of where's resentment coming up? Where do I keep hitting a wall? Even if it's we don't look at monetary, maybe it's something to do with visibility. Maybe it's something, you know, it can be as another degree because people look at, you know, visibility or followers or you know, viral and also monetary. It can be something like, well, I have had the same amount of website suffic numbers every month for the past nine months. My visibility is going really well. I've even put more money on, this is a really random example, but more money on, you know, paid ads. But my traffic has stayed the same. Again, if we we can tick off all the strategy, but then we look at, well, do you actually want to sell more? Do you actually want to convert more? And then we go into the capacity of, and that's where it turns into money or visibility of, yeah, yeah, of course I do. Okay, so now you're making$100,000. Let's say this converts, it jumps from 15% conversion to 25% conversion, and that means your income jumps to$200,000 a month. Oh, I whoa, that's a lot of money. And you know, people, when I've heard from business owners, it's all different levels, but it's responsibility. It's oh my god, the taxes on that. In Australia, we have GST, the GST I have to pay on that. And it goes to, oh, well, what will my friends and family think? A recent one. Oh, shared that is an unconscious thing that comes up in a lot of women in relationships is having an idea of, yeah, it would be really, really great to, you know, make all this money and you know, my my partner could retire, or I can fund our lifestyle. But when they really get into this, is actually more common than spoken about is oh, that's a big responsibility to have that duty. Or that's a that's a big thing. Does that mean my partner's always gonna be reliant on me? Even though I think that's oh great, you know, I can retire as both young or whatever, or we can take all these trips, but then the unconscious, it's like, oh, is that really something I can handle? And so I think the most important thing is, you know, if everything's working, your your strategy is working and it fits. And again, data over emotions is more importantly thinking, okay, it's a capacity issue. But before even thinking about what does my capacity look like, think about beyond if you achieved what you wanted and what you're working towards, what does that feel like in your body, number one? And what are the the beliefs or the fears more so that come up immediately once you feel that in your body?

SPEAKER_00 50:38

So once someone realizes that they have an identity or a nervous system capacity issue, what does it take to actually break the pattern? Like not just recognize it, but perform at a level that maybe they thought was completely out of reach for them.

SPEAKER_01 50:55

So we want to break it down in four steps first, and I'll make it super simple. So, number one, first we want to understand what the actual belief is. So I believe I have to work really hard for money, or I think my friends aren't going to accept me if I have this success, whatever it is. So, number one, understand your belief and just work at one at a time. From that belief, we then want to understand what the outstanding fear is attached to that belief. Now, with this, there may be other fears that come up, but I just want you to choose what the biggest one is. So we'll run with an example. I have to work really, really hard for money. The belief, sorry, yeah, that's a belief. The fear from that is let's say fear of failure. And then you you dive in. What does that look like for you? This looks different for everyone. So I fear that I'm gonna do all this work and I'm not going to be successful or make the money that I want, but I'm gonna try really hard, and that creates a belief. From there, so we've got belief, fear, identity, capacity. Then we look at our concept of self, our identity. This is who do you see yourself as when it comes to those beliefs, that belief and that fear? What is your concept of self? Meaning, your behaviors, your habits, your reactions, your actions, your motives, everything about you in attached to I have a deep fear of failure. And it's because I believe I have to work really, really hard for money. And so, how do you behave? What are your habits? When you talk to yourself, when you think, what's actually verbatim coming up? And then when all of those we understand what our capacity is. Okay, well, uh, my cap is$20,000 a month. Every single time I get there, no matter what, I cannot go past that. And then it re-solidifies the fear of failure. I'm just a failure. I've been trying to hit$50,000 for six months, and then it solidifies the identity of okay, this is who I am. I can't make money. I'm not as good as everyone in my industry. It's too hard for me. And again, see how it becomes a cycle. So understanding those four simple steps of the belief, the fear, the identity it creates, and the capacity it creates is then looking at, well, and this is a framework that I'm trying to break down super simply, but it's then understanding more so highlighting if anything to highlight, not trying to think more positively or just thinking, yes, money comes to me all the time. It's look at the identity more so. Write down and look at what your behaviors and habits and reactions are. That is tapping at what your capacity is. And now a lot of people will think, well, I know it is, you know, I procrastinate or I do this. Yeah, that's your identity. That's what you need to identify and stop it in its chat. It's about interrupting the pattern, and that's the hardest thing because it's so unconscious. And so instead of, okay, every single time I go to do something, I know it's gonna move the needle. I grab my phone, I start scrolling on TikTok, be two hours. We need to become more conscious in the pattern. Okay, I've grabbed my phone, I've opened up the TikTok app, have a conversation with yourself of, okay, what am I doing on TikTok right now? That's stopping in its pattern. It's not, oh, just five minutes, which turns into two hours. It's quite literally, and this sounds so simple, but it's that simple. People don't do it. They don't put themselves in a position to question what they're doing. And so we stay unconscious, we stay in these like zombie-like mindsets. So it's what am I actually doing on TikTok right now? And that already is the pattern interrupt. Am I saying that all of a sudden you're fixed and you're better? No. But you have now stopped yourself to consciously actually say to yourself, yeah, I am procrastinating and I'm not going. And if you allow yourself the train of thought, I chose to scroll on TikTok because I'm procrastinating on creating that long-form content because I'm afraid that it's not going to get the results I want, and I'm still not going to make the money I want. Okay. Now we've said it out loud, we recognize, well, if you don't create the content anyway, you're not going to get the results you want. And so we start to have this conscious awareness, not just a self-awareness where we, oh, I know that I sabotage. It's consciously, I know what I'm doing and I know I'm choosing. And this is the thing. If you really efficiently do this work, you understand to a different degree of what you were consciously choosing all of the time. And so there's, if you consciously choose, yeah, now I'm gonna stay on TikTok, then when you're looking at your monthly review of your numbers, just rolling with this example, there is quite literally no one to blame but yourself. And that's not going into victim mentality. It's just like, well, you know what? I chose this. And then that goes into, you know, a values understanding of is that what I really want? Is that what success is to me? Is that what inspires me? Or, you know, am I doing it in the way it inspires me? Or did I see 50 other people say that it works for them and I chose that? That's the resistance. So I think, you know, looking at belief, fear, identity, capacity, do one belief at a time, one fear at a time, and then keep note in your phone notes, because we always have our phones with us, it's probably the easiest, write in a journal as well. But keep note of what am I choosing in those moments and really question it and they become so, so unconscious. And when we start to become more or more aware again, like I said, it doesn't necessarily mean that in that moment it changes and all of a sudden you're chilled and good. It just means you're bringing it up to the surface more and more. And so when it's in the surface, we realize in real time when we're doing it, versus, oh my god, I've been busy all day. I don't know what to show for it.

SPEAKER_00 57:21

What I see is we almost have to reprogram our identity and our self-image and retrain our nervous system when we're trying to expand. What actually changes for a client when their identity shifts? Like, how do you see that in their numbers, their decisions, and how they're showing up in their business?

SPEAKER_01 57:41

I love this question. You start to see a shift, and I start to see in all my members is this shift of first of all, how they see themselves as a woman. I only work with women. So as they see themselves with women as a woman, not just a business owner, but their perception of self almost becomes like a lighter layer of, oh, okay, I have been overcomplicating this or making this harder, or you know, being in a victim mentality, you sometimes really have to be honest. Am I in a victim mentality? And I see this lighter shift in how they see themselves as a human being, as a woman. Now, in a business sense, what starts to happen, and I'll give a very tangible example that actually was feedback I got from a member last night on my call. We were doing an audit over her website, she's product-based business, and we were going through all the messaging and looking at a flow and all the strategic systems and structure for a high-converting page for a product base. And there was something in there that I suggested a change and to make it ease for consumers, and she overcomplicated it. And she came back and she said some type of form to embed it on her Shopify. And she said, Oh, I only just have that because I have the one for the 10 responses, because that's, you know, I'm only really getting those responses. It's about a sizing guide per month. And I said to her, So you think from a you're thinking, and this is where business owners, miss, you're thinking from a strategic perspective, well, I'm only getting 10 responses a month, so I'll only pay for this tier of the form. And so I flicked it and I said, well, energetically, and the increase of payment for 100 responses was very, very small. So it wasn't like, oh my god, it's a big leap in you know software expense. And I said, Okay, if we paid extra, that's only a small jump, we could increase to 100 responses. Think about that. And she she goes, Well, I've never had a hundred responses, or I don't think I get that. And I said, Because you got for the 10 responses. So if we look at that, you quite literally kept your your shelf, your capacity to 10 responses. And you want more money, you want more conversions, you want more people to use this form so you can get more emails in your email marketing. It all has a flow and effect. And she sat with it and she said, I yeah, I realized that a big part of that was I was scared to have more, you know, have an influx of more emails, and then that means more as for this product space. It's like, okay, so we get more people, more conversions, that means more stock, not preparing. That capacity, she'd cap. Even though on the business owner, she's like, I want more money per month. She'd quite literally, there's several other factors to this, but from a form, capping herself in a way. And it was nothing to do with expenses, it was everything to do with how she felt. So we changed that and she let that roll. And last night, actually, so this was a week and a half ago disordered, and last night she said that she's getting 30 responses in the past week and a half of changing that. And I reflected that back and I said, Well, look at all of that of people who have quite literally given you these responses that you capped before. I think when we start to learn what our capacity is and how it shows up in our 3D physical reality is then when there's changes in my members, we see an increase in conversions, in visibility, volume of leads, in yes, monetary, but also in the way that they see themselves. I think that's the best thing. And the way that they are acting day to day. It's not just okay, I have capacity to make more money. It's really all more visibility. It's really, I am exciting myself for more and more to be a better human being in my relationships, to experience foreign life, to feel freer. And, you know, this is also what I say to my members is one thing about, you know, wanting more money, more sales is money isn't the answer, but it creates opportunities, creates freedom in that sense. And when you are able to do that, you see that as a flow and effects in your life. So I think intertwine these, and this is why I do it, is because you truly need both. You need the data and the systems and the structure, but you equally need to understand when you are bottlenecking yourself subconsciously, when you are your own worst enemy. And like I've mentioned, it doesn't mean that just because you become aware that it's going to be super simple to work through, sometimes fears they take up a lot of time and space and are deeper. And then other times we have picked up maybe a fear a couple of years ago, and it's only very, very uh surface level. But I think going into it and when learning all of this is you experience more of life. That's probably the overall of all of that, is they experience more of life because of what they can tolerate, of what they can feel worthy of. And I think, you know, the toler the tolerating is the capacity, the the worthiness is really the identity of okay, we can extend to that, but do you truly feel worthy of this success, these opportunities that you are experiencing? And so seeing that on a worth level with my members is is almost better than seeing monetary wins or visibility wins.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

So the strategies do work and they're obviously they're needed, but once they shift their identity, they can create space to actually hold more, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:06

Absolutely, and that's the biggest thing is being able to create more, whatever that looks like. I think sometimes, and I've seen this with my members, I've done this with myself, is we can have so much that we want to achieve and create that it's it can be overwhelming. But you know, creating space for more could mean maybe your goal is to not work Friday mornings as a business owner. It doesn't mean your goal is okay, I get to take off three months for business every single year. It doesn't have to be as big as that. But I think you know that's an important thing to note is the spaciousness can come in many, many different ways. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:45

And success just looks differently for everyone. Now exactly. Yes. If someone's revenue doubled tomorrow, but the idea her identity didn't change, what would happen?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:58

I haven't seen it in a day, but I've seen it in two and a half weeks. And I'll tell exactly what happened is immediately the retraction. It's like the celebration of holy crap, everything I've done has worked. This is great. I have more money. And well, look at my Stripe account, what's about to be demited into my bank account? And then it's all almost immediately in the same 24 hours of oh. Okay, so I have tax to pay on that. This was an Australian. I have GST to pay on that. Does that mean now I need to get a higher tier and pay more for my current accountant? I haven't separated my bank accounts for this properly yet. Okay, I've got to do that. I also do I do I share this wins with my friends and family. Oh, I think some of my friends aren't going to be happy for me. Oh my god, am I a bad person? Because I make more money? Does that make me greedy that I celebrated this? To be a better person, do I need to? This is quite literally my members' train of thought. Do I need to donate to charity? Is that what rich people do? Am I rich now? Is this successful? Actually, this isn't good enough. Oh my god, am I worthy of this? Can I like eh? Wait, that's a this is a fluke. I don't know if I can do that again. Like it seemed effortless, but I know how much work I put in in the past three to six months. And I always don't have to put in that much effort. And see, it became this cycle of all of a sudden we're on this, this when we look at the I teach the process of the process. And when we look at a fear, the fear is when we see all the drawback, the fantasy is when we see all the benefits. And so we go into this related the pendulum swings, right? This is identity work too. The pendulum swings into the fantasy of this is the best thing ever. There's nothing wrong. The fact that I have doubled my revenue. And then what happens with the pendulum? It always has to swing back, it needs to bring you back into neutrality. And but instead of seeing all these drawbacks as okay, how do we work through them? It's like the worst thing ever. And so what then happens is we are so far in the drawbacks that what I saw with this member is all of a sudden she ghosted her audience for nearly a month and a half. She worked with me after all of this. Month and a half, she had a resistance to content. So naturally, engagement drops, which means traffic to her sales pages drops, which means lower conversions. What happened? She immediately revenue dropped down to under half that. And so belief came with, well, I can't sustain that. That's too hard. I'm on this income roller coaster and it solidifies all of that. And so this is why capacity work is so important. But what I share with all my members, it's don't wait for the moment of, okay, I'm building for a million dollar year. And, you know, I'm gonna, I'm feeling good. I'm like gonna prep for that yeah. Like I'll do a maybe I'll need, you know, let's say the just like my member, the higher tier when it comes to my Shopify, whatever that extension is. But actually, quite literally prep right now in time for that extension. It doesn't mean, okay, I'm a millionaire. That means I need to, it's what people think. That means I need to go buy and live outside my means, you know, design a handbag, or I need to go do that X, Y, Z. And that's what I don't really resonate with when it comes to actors if. Because the actor's if really insinuates, all right, well, I need to then all of a sudden buy all this new clothing, all these materialistic items, or I am going to get a car above my means, or you know, XYZ. There's no really visceral change. Yes, there's a sorry, there's a visceral change in the sense of appearance and like, okay, I'm gonna operate as this person. But if you're not really changing how you perceive yourself and the expansion of capacity, then what starts to happen is it feels fake. It feels performative. And that's why people who act as if they're not doing this work as well, it they go back to where they are, they stay at the same cycle. And so with my client, it was she had not prepped to do that. She had prepped strategically, she had prepped a belief and consciously that I am worthy. I can bring in this amount of money. And this is what people understand is well, why did I bring that in if I'm, you know, not at that capacity? Because you can expand and experience and feel worthy and do all the right things up and energetically align with that frequency, that timeline, because of all the things you've done. But my client, she aligned with all that and she opened her the way structurally and systematically in her business to be able to handle that volume in the sense of bringing it in. But she hadn't prepped her body to know to be able to receive and hold that. And that's where her train of thought went. And so that's what happened is you can prep all you want with systems and structure. And you, and like I keep saying, you need that, you know. The past six months for me has been a big system and structure upgrade for my own business, so it's so important. But there's no point prepping for whatever that next level is if you, on a bodily response, don't feel like you can handle it or it's too much, or there's the underlying fear of okay, there's too much responsibility, but I want a million dollars this year. Too much responsibility, though. That cancels it out immediately. And so I think that's the biggest thing. And even when we set goals, again, monetary visibility, whatever it is in business, there's a great concept by Dan Henry. Um, 10X is better than 2X. It's a book. And I like to read or uh reread or read listen every single year because the the concept is basically most people make choices in the 2x. So it's like, okay, I'm currently making$10,000. I want to buy in the next six months, make$25,000. 2x goal. A 10x goal would be all right, making$10K now, in the next six months, I want to be making 60,000. What that does is, oh, okay, I don't know if that's possible, but it starts to expand. And this is really about putting in the reps and making choices. And that's how we, from a behavior standpoint, expand our capacity. What is us to do is instead of filtering, making decisions to make$20,000,$25,000 in six months, you are now thinking, what am I doing to make$60,000? And we've expanded that much. We don't want to leap too much to go from, okay, in six months, I'm going to make$400,000 because that's too much for the body. I'm never saying nothing's possible energetically, but if we look at it realistically, it's like for you right now, is that too much for the body to be like, oh, okay, I don't even know where to start. And so I think that's a really good way to look at when it comes to the expansion, is make decisions and choices from the 10x lens. And they should scare you. They should feel scary in your body. But it's reminder, you know, what is our brain and our nervous system wanting to do to keep us safe, to keep us, the brain wants familiar. And so anything outside of familiar, what you've chosen, you will always go into those self-sabotaging behaviors that we went through. And when we recognize how that feels in the body, is look at caveman times that was recognition of we're about to be chased by a tiger. And quite literally, I say this just how I members is hand over heart, when you make that 10x decision and it feels scary, just remind everybody, hey, this feeling has actually changed. We're not getting chased by a tiger. It's okay. And I tell a really effective exercise on that is quite literally imagine, like get in your body and imagine that if you were to, like, I'm looking out into my hallway, go out into that hallway, there was a tiger there. Like, imagine that. And I get my members to do this so they understand what's happening in their body. And they go, and if you truly think about it right now, like that's terrifying. That I could walk around the corner and there's a tiger there. And it's quite literally what our body is doing. Obviously, there's nuance with the brain, knowing it's not there. But that's what we need to teach our body. Is any time that you feel that that 10x decision is hand over heart. This is one of the, again, simple, simple, but people don't do it. They think there's more complicated answers, but it's hey, this is just change. We're making this decision, or we're now upping our visibility, or we are firing before it feels comfortable, but it's not a tiger. It's actually just us changing, and that's okay. And that is one of the most effective ways it takes 90 seconds for an emotion to take over the body. If you can within before it hits 90 seconds rap fear, do that and sit and sit a timer for 90 seconds. You may not feel a difference in a week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks. But I can guarantee after 30, 40, 50, 60 days, you will start to all of a sudden look back and be like, wow, that's actually an easy decision. That's easy, uh, actually easy to do. We do things now that it's like, oh my god, six years ago, could never do. You know, six for me, six years ago, I could never think about posting long form on YouTube ever. I'm like, yeah, I should do short form content, but YouTube, like that's scary. But now for me, that's so normal. And that's part of it is knowing and teaching your body like the things that we're choosing, they're not dangerous in the perception of a tiger's about to chase us.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:52

Right. So it seems you can grow faster than you know, with your nervous system and your self-image, but your old identity will come up and kind of pull you back for the most part. Now, what would that self-image be trying to protect or her nervous system by pulling her back into what feels comfortable?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:14

Well, the brain is wide for efficiency and familiarity is efficiency. And so what the brain is trying to do is to conserve energy. If we just simplify it easily, it is trying to conserve energy. And so you think anything outside of what you are currently doing, even right now, as you're getting your results, like you think of your behaviors, your routine throughout the week, even though you're if someone listens and thinks, well, everything I'm doing, you know, I'm getting different results. That's becoming normal, right? That's becoming part of how you're wiring. So if we go beyond that, the brain doesn't want to because it's not efficient. It's not efficient to change, it's not efficient to um, you know, neuroplasticity to rewire differently, it's not efficient to do things differently. That's why, you know, going back on what I said of procrastination is just a form of emotional regulation to get us back to that efficiency. Because why would we go beyond? And so being able to understand when the brain goes into the efficient mode and when it's just trying to keep you in the familiar state of what's safe, but understanding, you know, this is why this work is so loaded. It's it's so great, but so loaded of understanding what is safe to you, like generally, and this is why we look at our fears and our conditioning is well, we have to understand who we grew up with and our relationships we formed, what was safe to them money-wise. You may have big visions for your business and impact you want to make in the world, but did you grow up constantly with your mom saying that more money equals greed? And so no matter what you do, you really feel like your brain, it's not just capacity, it's your brain. The efficient thing is don't be too greedy. If you get too much, we need to stop you from that. You know, that's this is where nuance for this, but this is where overspending or even porting money, because again, the brain's trying to keep you at an equilibrium of what it knows. And the most incredible thing about the brain is that you get to change it. I saw very recently, must have been last week, on TikTok actually, a video and it basically said something like, like along this conversation, you know, the creator said the best thing I did for myself was get out of a victim mentality and change the way my brain thinks and the way my brains lie. And I thought that was great. And it had a lot of traction. So I was reading the comments, and an interesting comment was that got a lot of likes and really mass mentality was this is this is really, what did they say? You you aren't considering all the people that have trauma and you know are actually victims and you know have dealt with stuff like grief and everything. The creator responded and said, Yeah, my dad actually passed away on my honeymoon. I've dealt with grief, and that happened two years ago. And there was all farting back and forth in the comments from other people of saying, you know, this is tone deaf, you don't understand, people go through shit. And, you know, I looked at that and I thought, it's so that's really the law of polarity, right? Without one perspective, we can't have the other. And so I think going back to the brain and how we're wired and the familiar is we can keep choosing again and again the same story. We can keep doing the same thing, um, or we can choose to do differently. And sometimes we need to grow, you know, I've had conversations with women in my DMs that my work isn't appropriate. I referred, I have a few friends who are therapists and psychologists, and they said, you know, just go consume their type content first. And I think, you know, in my industry, we need more discernment like that as well. You know, different degrees to work through. But we can. We can be different, we can choose different. And remember that the way that your brain is wired is efficient, yes. But it doesn't mean that that has to be the way that your wiring stays. It doesn't mean that it has to be the way that you are forever. And some people choose not to believe that. They choose to believe that the way that their brain is is the way that they're going to stay. And I'm sure, like myself, you have probably gone through trials and tribulations in life where, you know, it's like, oh my God, how am I ever going to get through this period in my life? So it's not taking away from grief, from loss, from experiencing real human experiences, but that's what they are. They're human experiences. Without the good, we can't have the bad, and vice versa. But it's being able to look at, okay, well, I'm, you know, it's three months from this, and you know, this is the way I'm operating. Is it the way that I truly want to be? No, okay. So what do I keep choosing? You know, it's the conscious awareness. And when we just have the insight that our brain is just choosing the easiest thing because it doesn't want to exert energy, we realize that okay, it's easy because this is all I've done for months or years for some people. Years for some people. I had a conversation last year, was it a friend's birthday lunch and mutual friends? And I was having a conversation with one of these mutual friends, and I see this mutual friend every year for the same friend's birthday. Same conversation the past six years around hating her job. I've heard the same thing. Economy's bad, or you know, like I can't just take off six months, her dream is to travel around Australia with her partner in the camp of that. I can't just take off six months of work to do that. Oh, I can't, I can't, I can't, you know, hate my job. In conversation, and I just kind of humor it. But people like that is there's always a reason not to change. There's always a reason not to do something. And I said this as someone who has been in periods like that in my earlier 20s, where I say to myself, this this is just the way I am. Yeah, it is the way you are right now, but do you want to change? If the answer is no, then that's fine. There's some people who are like, no, I actually don't want to change. Okay. But if you are like, yeah, I do want to change, but this is just who I am, no. It's what are you doing differently? And it goes to everything that we've spoken about around identity, around capacity, around knowing, you know, not even a business perspective, but there in life overall, you need strategy, systems, structure. You need an effective way to move forward. You can't just hope for the best. And I think that's the most important thing is knowing that everything that you're used to and becomes second nature, and you don't think about whether you perceive it as a good habit or a bad habit, that's sufficient now for you. But you have the power to create differently if you choose to.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:55

Absolutely. And the brain's job is to keep you safe always, and you'll always retract back to what's predictable versus trying a new route, unless, like you said, you finally choose that, right? Exactly. Now, what's the difference between the woman who's who breaks through and the one that stays at the same level?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:15

Well, it's an extension of what we were just saying, right? Is is choosing to do differently and operate differently. I think that specifically with all of my clients and members over the past six years, one thing I see is it's not just discipline or motivation necessarily. I think I'm also motivation, waiting for the right moment. I think that we need to practice discipline, we need to practice focus. But the difference between the women who break through to whatever their next level is, their next level of success, is that they see what they're doing and they know that it needs to be completely different for where they need to be. They need to operate differently. And that's why every new level is a new devil because there's going to be challenges to that. It there's going to be challenges of, you know, we'll go a different example. Let's say that these women in business, they also want to make a certain amount of money and they say to themselves that when I make that amount of money, that's when I will be going to Pilates five days a week. And they only go once now, right? Let's just say that. Really simple example. Well, part of that is choosing differently. Okay, well, what's the perception of why you need to make more money to go to that? If it's got nothing to do with membership expenses, why can't you? Well, you know, there's so much to you. I'm busy, busy. Okay, so when you make that amount of money, you're all of a sudden not going to be busy and you're gonna feel better by going to the Pilates, which probably is going to get you better in flow. So it's making it having conversations like this of, well, am I choosing differently? The women who repeat the same cycles and do the same things are the women that get to that level of capacity that they keep circling back and forth, that brick wall, they keep returning back to, and they go, I can't be bothered, or this is too hard, or I'm not going to put in the work. I think that's one of the things with this work is you there are capacity levels that require you to put in the work. And you know, this is something I often speak about, especially in the online industry, is everyone sells this dream of okay, work a couple of hours a week, and all of a sudden you're making thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. And you know, the thing is, being a business harder owner is hard. It's hard in the sense there's going to be easier periods and there's going to be long working hours. And that's where you need the discipline and focus. And so the women who I've worked with who work with me now, the biggest difference is they choose the uncomfortability of doing something different and not knowing the result because we don't. They choose to operate of it's just like you know, going back to the example I shared of the client who had um the form to only have 10 people into 100. She could, she could have chosen to say, well, no, like I don't want to increase my expenses and I'm just gonna keep it like that. Like she did, choose to actually I'm gonna increase that and I'm gonna do differently. And I'm gonna try that, even though I don't know if I'm actually going to get any more people. She doesn't know the result. And so that's the biggest thing is you lean into the uncomfortability without knowing what the result's gonna be, and maybe you fail. Great. You tried road A, let's try road B. And the women who don't get the results they want or take. A long time are the women who don't want to choose any road. They want to choose the road that they continue on and they keep pushing harder and go, Well, I tried to do all this this month. Okay. And then what happened? Oh, well, you know, life, I hear this a lot. Life got so busy. I couldn't possibly, you know, do that and this. And life is always the road. This is what I say to my business owners is life is always going to be busy. And life is always going to life. And I think my one of my values and my beliefs is teaching women how to build a profitable and sustainable business in the sense of can this operate in all seasons of life. Doesn't mean that there's never going to be a break or you're never going to have to take time off. Or yeah, maybe you have to, it's your turn to maybe pick up the kids today and you're not finished that landing page, you know, yes, these things come up. But that it's beyond that of, okay, well, what am I doing to move towards the next level? And choosing that again and again without knowing what results you're going to get.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:09

So I know you mentioned you work with both, you work on strategy and identity, right? So do you have women that come to you and they give you, like they implement all your strategies and they're ready to change. They say they want to change, they want a new path, but they give you pushback on the identity work.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:27

Absolutely. I think you know, when something comes and works with me, they have some idea and they come into prime membership, some idea of, you know, all the aspects of who I am, what I've coached, how I coach, and mentors. So there's no surprise, like, oh my God, this works for part of it. It's more, I think the biggest thing I hear is, yeah, yeah, I do this work, I've done this work before. It's like, yep, okay, but you're still stuck at and then looking at the results. And that's confronting. You know, I've had to do it with myself. It will always come up of I know the work and I do the work and I do the money mindset or listen to supplementals and when we're all about changing. How often do you implement and do that? It is absolutely non-negotiable for my clients to work on this at least once a week. Now I'm not saying sit down for six hours. No, maybe you're working on 20 minutes, you just got your journal and you only have 20 minutes. Understand what that new feed came up when you started to do something different on social media. And then other times you might have hours, and it's like, and I have full frameworks and processes, but it may be like, all right, all of this has come up in the past 60 days. And like, no matter what I do, let me explore that. But I see so much resistance because every single woman to a degree has done some form of the work, some form of mindset work. You know, I I think most people, well, at least, you know, the women that I attract have definitely. And it's more so the simple things. Like I, when I mentioned the hand on heart, speak to your nervous system, so simple. How many people do that or implement that or think, yeah, yeah, I will. It's about being able to train yourself to do these simple things first without expecting, oh, okay, I'm gonna go into a full process and understand everything and I need hours and hours, and it's too scary. And that's why we avoid it, right? Is because it's way too scary to face what's coming up. But if we don't face what's coming up, we're never going to bring the unconscious conscious and change that. And so that is the biggest resistance of I've done this work before, like, yeah, yeah, I know it. I'll listen to the meditations or whatever it may be. But it's, you know, sometimes, and you can probably tell the way I am as a coach and a mentor, a bit of a tough love when it's needed. But sometimes they'll come for a strategic audit, and I'll I'll do the audit, but I'll say what I want to highlight that technique subconsciously. So this happened recently with a member, did a full website audit, and then after a few back and forth of tweaks and changes, she said a few things. And I said, Okay, here's the strategy part, the the copy that I want you to look at. But I want you to go away and think about all this coming up around her price and a price positioning. And it turns into a full audit around subconscious and around a certain thing to do with her price. And she said, I didn't even really realize this was coming up until we started to talk about it and how this is showing up. And that's the thing, is like then you either choose to lean in and do that work, or and she is, or she could have gone, okay, no dad, I need to work on that. Anyway, let's get back to doing the messaging and all of that. And so I think it's about giving yourself the space to confront all that. And, you know, this is one of the reasons why I created my membership is to have that feedback, that mirror, because it can be hard by yourself. It can be really hard to sit down and explore it, be like, all right, I've done 20 minutes of journaling for the past week of, you know, this is my fears, but okay, I'm scared to actually sit down and explore where this came from or why this keeps coming up or why I don't feel worthy of this. So yeah, I think it's it's noted that most people come in and they want the strategy and then they have the resistance. Not because they don't want to be better or create more success or opportunities, but because they underneath it all are afraid of what they have to confront.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:51

Okay, last question. What would you say to the woman who has done everything she knows how to do and still can't seem to move past a certain level?

SPEAKER_01 1:34:03

There's a few aspects to look at it. It's not just what are your beliefs of that, what's your capacity, what have you strategically done? It's also a values thing. And so, super simply, the way I break down values isn't, okay, I value my family and I value money and I value my job, right? Is we need to look at the micro values. And it's okay, let's say your top value right now is your relationship. But then the micro value, what do you actually value from relationships? Is it connection? Is it whatever it is? Then in if we look at what you said and isolate that for business, it's like doing everything, I'm not getting results and doing the subconscious work. I still think you know that's an underlying thing, but actually understand your value to business and what you're working on. So you don't just value business or money or wealth building in relation to business, like what is the micro value there? Is it impact? Is it investment of wealth? Is it visibility in the sense you want to get famous online? Like I've seen that as the micro value. Remember, nothing is good or bad. It's just like you need to get honest with that. And so when we understand that and we feel like we're doing everything, most of the time it's because our values, what we think they are, aren't in alignment with what we are doing or what we are choosing. The easiest way to know this is do a time audit of your entire week. The easiest is in this day and age is to set up a separate chat in whatever AI you use. And every 15 minutes, so it stays consistent, or you know, if you have something for an hour, just say this was from this time to this time. Voice note and say, log for the past two hours. I was on a Zoom call talking about this. Then let's say after this, I get off and I make a coffee. For 15 minutes, I made a coffee after that. Log every single minute to a tea. Then get it to feedback in categories where you spent most of your time. And not looking at it's obviously gonna be sleeping. You will be so surprised. Don't change anything when I do this once a quarter. Because it can be really easy to feel like, all right, I'm gonna have a perfect week. And then try do everything perfectly. That's not a good representation. Just do things how you're doing it. In fact, do things in like a busier week, or when you're like, oh my God, you know, I have this business thing, I have this social commitment. And I even mean if you spend 45 minutes on TikTok, log that 11 a.m. to 11:45, TikTok, 2 p.m. to 2.20 p.m. TikTok. Because then when you see that, you see what you value and what you're working on. And I've had people do this and go, well, yeah, like I progress and I don't want to do that, but I do value making money in my business or building wealth, or I do value, you know, building my my presence online. Well, you either don't actually value that and you've created that concept, or there may be some value there, but you're just not doing it, goes back to the inspiration in a way that inspires you. And so I think it's so important, you know, to look at that aspect of what as well as to what what do you actually value? What are your micro values? What inspires you, especially if you generally can say, I am doing all the strategy systems, yeah, there's always something to do, but I mean, you know, first scale and where you're heading. And I am actively working on bringing the unconscious conscious. And I had to do this uh last year, and just the way my business was operating. And it's confronting because you start to get answers that you're like, oh, okay, I knew that was kind of the answer, but I'm just like afraid to admit that, you know, and so I think that's a big, big way, but a way that simplifies of okay, what am I working towards? What am I actions actually determined? And I give you great feedback as well. If you think you're so busy all the week, but you come back and 40% of your time is spent on scrolling social media. Well, you know, that that's shot, and then the other 30% is sleeping. That shows that you actually putting in time. So that's an activity overall I recommend for all business owners to do once a quarter because it's really, really interesting what it feeds back to you and it makes you realize okay, this is why I'm wasting time.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:42

Thank you so much, Jess. This has been very amazing for me. Where can people I loved this? Yes, where can people find you and connect with your work?

SPEAKER_01 1:38:53

Instagram, all my handles are the same at Jess Vinilli, TikTok and YouTube, if you want the long form, if you want my podcast, which is on all streaming platforms. And if you want to chat, have a question about anything to do with my work, my membership, woman mastery and HQ, then Instagram is probably the best DM-wise versus TikTok. And yeah, that's where you can find me and consume all my things. Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:24

If this conversation sparks something in you, subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you're a woman who's been doing everything right but can't seem to break past a certain level, DM me the words talk on LinkedIn.