School Readiness for Secondary Students

We share practical ways to set middle school and high school students up for success by teaching independence instead of rescuing. We walk through simple systems for organization, communication, and self advocacy that reduce stress for the whole family. 

• choosing a paper planner to track assignments, projects, and life events 
• finding and following bus or public transit schedules for responsibility 
• writing respectful emails 
• coaching teens to advocate for themselves

If you have any questions or need a sounding board, you can message me on Instagram at BeTheir Parent. 
If you found this episode helpful, follow, setup automatic downloads, review, and share. I'd appreciate it.

Transcript

Who This Is For

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi, I'm Sheila, and I'm here to help you be their parent. The last few episodes have been about school readiness. Season two, episode three has ideas for all students. Episode four is all about kinder through second grade. And last week's episode number five, I share what might be helpful for upper elementary students. Today it's all about the secondary student. This is going to be somewhat expansive because this is covering middle school through high school. Some of these may only apply to the oldest kids. It just depends on your district. And a few of these will happen over time. They're not something that your child needs to have down when they start middle school. They will be things they grow into as you continue to let go and give them more independence the older they get. And yes, you need to do that. All right, let's get

Lockers And Combination Locks

SPEAKER_00 0:57

started. The first thing is lockers. And this is going to be a district by district option. I know. Some districts have gotten rid of them for younger kids, or they've gotten rid of them at the high school level. Some have gotten rid of them altogether, and others have them for everybody. So check with your district, check with the school or friends that their students are have, they have students there already. And if they have them, make sure your child knows how they work and especially how to do a combination lock. Those are vital skills for that situation.

Paper Planners And Time Balance

SPEAKER_00 1:33

The next thing is planners. And I'm going to recommend getting a paper one. I know many districts are restricting phone use in school or banning them altogether. And I know sometimes you might still be able to access a digital calendar on a school-issued device, like a Chromebook or laptop, whatever. That's all great, but yet there is something about writing it down on with pen to paper that helps it to get in our brain. So not only do you have the visual of seeing it on the planner, but it's somewhat familiar in your head because you actually wrote it down just by two cents. But this is a great way for them to learn how to track things, especially those big projects, but also the daily assignments. Now, when there is a big project, teachers will give the final due date, but they often will give other dates in between to check progress. So with your middle school student, I would work with them to figure out how to meet each deadline so that in that final week that it's due, it's not quite so stressful because they've met all the other deadlines. Now, that's something I would do with middle school students, but by the time they're in high school, they should have that pretty well down and can do most of that independently. Now, the planner is also a good place for them to track their sports practices and games, family events, medical appointments, all those things to help them to learn how to manage their time well. And so if you work on this with them in middle school, then you can help them find ways to adjust so that they have a decent balance. Now I know there really is no perfect calendar that balances everything: school, extracurriculars, family life, perfectly. It just doesn't exist because it doesn't exist for us grown-ups. But I know that we have our busy seasons and we may have a time that is just back-to-back practices, um, games, events, all the things. But helping our students to see that once you kind of get through that busy season, you take a week or two where you really limit your extra things so that you can kind of catch your breath, get a reset before you move along. That is a great skill to have. And it actually kind of helps us too, right? If our kids are doing it, then maybe we should do it too. So helping them to balance that out would be a great thing for them to learn.

Transit Plans And Email Basics

SPEAKER_00 4:06

And then the next thing would be a transportation schedule. Now, this could be if you your child uses public transit, helping them to know bus schedules or subway schedule, metro, whatever they may use, helping them to know how to find the time in the right route. That's a great skill for them to know. But also if they use school bus, you know, our schedules change sometimes. And so helping them to know where to find that info so that they can make sure that they're on the right bus at the right time would be great. And it's teaching them personal responsibility. Now, I have a friend of mine, she's an admin for a couple of our buildings here in the district I live in. And it's like a combo junior high middle school because they're right next door to each other. And she suggested making sure your kids know how to write a respectful email, an apology, and a thank you. Now, I've had former students that have emailed me just to say hi, and this is when they were fourth, fifth, even in the middle school, sixth graders, and I was still teaching second grade, and they just never knew what to do with the subject line. They either put a bunch of words in there or it they didn't use it at all. And then I have heard from secondary teachers that they've had some students that pretty much put the whole email in the subject line. So teaching your kids the protocols of emails along the lines of what CC and BCC means, as well as how to use the subject line effectively, would be great. And then helping them to know how to write respectfully to their teachers or counselor, whoever, so that when they're an adult and they have to email bosses and such, then they already have a lot of those skills in place.

Teaching Self Advocacy With Respect

SPEAKER_00 5:57

And that kind of leads into the next thing, and that is advocating for themselves. Because if they can write a respectful email, they could do that to advocate for themselves, um, or just to know, oh, this is how you speak respectfully to the teachers, counselors, coaches, whoever. Um, and that will help to go a long ways. Now, we did this with all three of our kids when they started middle school. If there was any situation that came up that was a challenge with a teacher or an assignment, we would talk it through at home and we would see if there was anything we could do to just help support them at home. But if it really was something that they needed to talk to a teacher about, we talked it through with them and gave them the words to speak and then expected them to go do that. Now, our kids walked in confidently to be able to do it because they knew that if they couldn't come up with a reasonable solution, they could come home to us and then we would step in and help them. But because our kids went in prepared and they spoke respectfully, the teachers were always willing to step in and help. And we didn't ever have to. And now, a lot of these, it was just minor things, it was usually a miscommunication, but because our kids went in respectfully, it always made the teacher willing to help. Now, if you don't teach your kids that and they go in and they're being disrespectful and rude and placing all the blame on the teacher, that's going to cause the teacher to be defensive. And then there isn't going to be a resolution. So helping our kids to understand how to do this effectively would go a long way in solving a lot of problems without them escalating.

Math Fluency Still Matters

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Now, the next couple of things are things I mentioned last week for upper elementary students. However, they still apply for our secondary students. Um, I have a friend, she teaches high school math, and it is not remedial, but she has kids that are still coming to her class that are skip counting on their fingers to do multiplication instead of just knowing the facts off the top of their heads. So ensure that your student, especially going into middle school, where you could probably get away with doing games and such with them, to make sure that they do have it fluently down so that they can be more efficient and better understand the math at those next higher levels that are coming. That would be huge and really set them up for success.

Respecting Shared School Materials

SPEAKER_00 8:36

And then the next thing is to teach your children not to write in textbooks or on the desk or anything else, helping them to understand that the things that they use at school, they need to be respectful of and be responsible for because they will be used by hundreds of students, the next school, the next year's students. They just need to understand this isn't just for them, but it is a shared experience and that we need to take care of them so that everybody has access to it.

Encouragement And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 9:08

And I know it's not quite back to school time, but having some ideas of some things to help your older student with could really help to set them up for success this coming school year. You're doing a great job. Keep helping them learn and grow even in their teen years. They really do need it, even if they say otherwise. If you have any questions or need a sounding board, you can message me on Instagram at BeTheir Parent. If you found this episode helpful, follow, setup automatic downloads, review, and share. I'd appreciate it.