Episode 10: The Dad Bod: Pride or Problem?

Episode 10: The Dad Bod: Pride or Problem?

Let’s talk about the exact moment you realized the "Dad Bod" had officially crept in. Was it the jeans suddenly fitting weird? Getting winded just wrestling on the living room rug? Or the realization that your daily macros now consist entirely of leftover dinosaur nuggets and cold coffee?

Society loves to joke about the "Dad Bod" as a badge of honor, but the reality behind it is a massive lifestyle shift. It comes from chronic sleep deprivation, the stress-eating cycle, and the heavy guilt that makes taking an hour for the gym feel incredibly selfish.

In this episode of Dad and the What, we are having an honest conversation about the physical toll of fatherhood. We talk about the very real, often unspoken struggles guys have with body image and confidence, and how to shift the focus from getting a six-pack to just getting your energy back.

In this episode, we get into:

• The "Dad Diet" Trap: Why we end up acting as human garbage cans for our kids' leftovers, and how to break the cycle.
• The Biology of Fatherhood: How lack of sleep, high stress, and the shift into "caregiver mode" literally change your body.
• The Physical Toll: Dealing with the constant fatigue and the inevitable back pain from lugging around car seats and toddlers.
• The Gym Guilt: Overcoming the feeling that taking time to work out means you are taking time away from your family.
• Practical Fixes: Why consistency beats intensity, how to schedule "dad workout time" with your partner, and why sleep has to come first.

At the end of the day, having a dad bod just means you've been prioritizing your family. But you can't pour from an empty cup. It’s not about how you look in a t-shirt—it’s about having the health, longevity, and stamina to actually keep up with your kids.

🎧 Listen to Episode 10 now, and let us know: what was the moment you realized the Dad Bod had arrived or if it never happened?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:22

So let's dive into today's topic, so to say, which would be the dad body. Is it a pride or a problem?

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Well, Daniel, what do you think? I mean, dad body is like kind of a I would say misused word in some interpretations, and in other situations, it can be actually a comfortable, warming, and safe word. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

It can definitely be both, and I think it's pretty stereotypical way of describing a man's body, especially when some time has passed during during the fatherhood as well. And for my own image, it has been pretty much been just, you know, just a word. Always that I have always known what it means, and I had this certain image in my head about a man, you know, having a little bit belly, you know, getting a little bit chubby with the kids and everything. But to my own experience, I I never got to that point that I would actually get very chubby, so so to say. I could definitely see some changes in my body as well when I became a father, but that was mostly because I didn't sleep so well and I was so focused on other things. Of course, taking care of the baby and my family and work on the side and everything, so I didn't have so much time necessarily to exercise. And for me, I could see it as uh muscle loss mostly. Right. And I have always had this certain image of myself that what would be my ideal body type, so to say, and I have always tried to aim to maintain that as much as I can. So when I when I noticed these first changes, it I wouldn't necessarily say that it was a shock, but it was a change in my body that I have to really think about that how I'm feeling about it.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

More or less like a size different, not not necessarily uh uh what we call a common picture of a dead body.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Exactly, you know, but it was a nice thing to think about, and now after my kid has has been a little bit older, I feel like I feel like I have had much more time to focus on that side as well. What's your fight weight at the moment?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Sorry? What's your weight at the moment?

SPEAKER_02 2:41

75 kilos. So pretty pretty lightweight at the end of the day, but I'm I'm happy about it. I'm not so tall guy, I'm a little bit under 180 centimeters tall, so I think that's that's alright. Yeah, yeah. Just made it past dwarf. Exactly. Exactly. But you know what, what about your own experiences? Of course, there's there must have been some changes happening.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Well, sure. I mean, one thing is when you when you look at like the growing up teen years, you had like your your dad in my case. I also had a uh stepdad, uh, because my mom she was like uh broke breaking up with my dad and and taking a new husband, and and he was much more of what I would call uh a dad buddy than uh than my own dad. Uh otherwise people probably have uncles or other relatives that maybe even friends' dads, you know, that would fit that label if if you say so. Yes. But my own experience is like it was kind of reversed. I was uh coming from before I was having my first kid from around 100 kilo. Okay. I'm 187 tall, so you know it was a bit uh round faced and uh a little bit uh belly and and stuff like that. Like a buff guy, a a really buff guy, you know, big muscle and uh and a lot of muscle fat like that. But you know, uh after I got kids, you know, I I went into so much of uh self-realization of things that in my lifestyle, both uh health habits and um time management would have to change because of that. So I I dedicated myself to be clean for around nine months with everything: nicotine, alcohol, uh bad eating habits, all this shit. And I went down to around 78 kilo with probably the most muscle I had in uh my whole life, even though I before have trained a lot, and then I've been maintaining that level around Yeah, from 80 to 84 kilo, something like that, since then.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

But that's amazing progress, so I gotta give a small applause for that. Definitely, definitely. It's not an easy thing to do, especially within nine months.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

I was in the zone, man, and and and I kind of locked it in those nine months, and and I must be honest to say that I haven't been able to keep it completely up, other than smaller periods like months or weeks. But you know, it's it's like you say, if you have a goal and and if you have uh the the the proper motivation, I would say, then then you can lock it in really and and go for it. And and then it make it a whole lot easier when you have the motivation that's your kid and your family, and you know, you you want to do the best for them.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Exactly, and especially when these are the type of habits that you're most likely to pass on for your kids as well. So this was something that I had to think about myself also if I'm able to show a proper proper example and show them like how to take care of the body when thinking about your eating habits, your exercise habits, etc. You know, it's all reflecting on people around you as well, especially for the kids.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

So much truth in the saying that be the one you want them to be by being the role model, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

And this is like a very clear example of that because you can see it in your daily-to-day life always through that, true that yeah, yeah, every morning in the mirror exactly, and you can either be happy about it or thinking about why is it like this?

SPEAKER_00 6:35

But why do you think that the dad bot, like it's it it's always been around? I remember it like from our early teens, it's been like this uh both taboo and also this, like we talked about safety uh corner for for for some women. Yeah. Um where did it start it? Why why did it become like the the dad bot talk in in the first place?

SPEAKER_02 7:00

I'm not actually 100% sure about that because for me it has been not a taboo, but uh I feel terrible to say if I say like it has been like a joke for me always to joke about that like you know there's some guy, you know, with a dad body looking a little bit chubby and you know not not so fit, but I I think you know it comes from the real changes that are happening in father's life because like we talked about previously, it it's it comes to your time management, you're so focused on taking care of your family and works work, etc., that you don't necessarily focus so much on the eating and exercising side.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

There's lack of sleep, lack of uh time management, lack of uh seeing anybody that make you social uh what do you call it, barometer or like uh social level fulfilled. So you have a lack of a lot of things that probably could have an effect on both health and uh sleep and eating patterns, yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Exactly. And it always also depends so much like what kind of a person you are, because for me, also I have noticed that if I'm sleep deprived and tired, I have cravings like crazy, you know. I don't like to eat candy, for example, or stuff like that, but when it comes to like good food, pastries, etc., I'm very prone to those things if I'm feeling hungry and I just need to eat something good, so to say.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

And that's a wheel that's so hard to get caught in, right? Because if you eat it one day, the next day, probably around the same time, or after the same exercise you did, or after the same eating, you feel the same again. Yeah, yeah, it's so fucking annoying, you know.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Yeah, and you get a small like piece of gratitude. When you when you eat something good, you think like, oh, I I definitely deserve this.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Oh yeah, oh my god, that is the worst.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah, but you know, as we have seen, like it very easily adds up, so to say, and if it becomes a habit, then it you know makes you more prone to the dad body itself.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Agreed. Yeah, we are also ending up very quickly, I would say, in in a in a hamster wheel, if you can say so, where you you try to prioritize your your kid or even your family over your own time. Yes, but in in some cases, I think of course that is healthy and and and very important, but in other cases it can go so wild as it has for me for sometimes that I forget that the tasks at hand at a normal day for me could include the kid in a whole different way that I set all that aside, yeah, and then I start to you know make my day from their needs instead of like including them in my day and and still fulfilling their needs.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Yeah, and that's very understandable. Of course, you know, we are trying to make sure that the little ones and the rest of the families feeling safe and you know they feel like they get the attention that they need, you know. But uh but of course, like on the side, there are some hormonal changes happening at the same time because when you're spending a lot a lot of time with your wife and uh woman and they're giving birth and you get your kids, uh your body doesn't make so much testosterone during that time for a certain time period. And unfortunately, I I cannot say how long time period it is, but that makes some physical changes, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

What we should do as a funny thing is that we should go and test our testosterone. Definitely should absolutely go out with the result for all of you listeners to see, and we would love to receive all your results if you want to do the same or already did it. That could be super cool to watch where are you in the dad, how many years are your kids, when was your your last kid born, and where is your testosterone level?

SPEAKER_02 11:04

Absolutely. And if you're able to do a second test, for example, when you're getting kids, you know, and then compare how it actually changes compared to some while after being a parent already. Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

That that would be so nice, actually, and and very interesting data because you can read a lot like on data that is already taken, but if we could kind of collaborate with with all your listeners, all the dads out there, yes, maybe also with eating habits, sleep patterns, and and these kind of things just in general, we would be able to take some data that we could share with you guys and and and that would actually be uh very valuable.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Yeah, that would be so cool. And now that I think about it, it's been a very long time since I did a proper blood test and actually tested out my testosterone. Because uh pre before I always had a like scheduled blood testing, I would say that at least once a year I did almost the full spectrum of everything that is going on so I could see if I'm deficient on some vitamins or if I'm lacking testosterone, etc. Because even though I'm a decently young guy, so to say, I I'm only 25 years old, but I still care about my health a lot. So these are the parameters that will tell if something is more likely to happen in the future.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

You know what? Before we do the next episode, we should do and go get our blood tested with both of us.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Absolutely, and that would be definitely some interesting thing to talk about on the on the next episode and what was going on during this time. Exactly. Yes, sir. So I'm looking forward to that one.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Me too, man. Yes. So dear listeners, we have been taking a lot of messages and a lot of fun about your stories and about what we can better in this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

So as we were talking about uh changes on the body and what is the that body in general as a term, of course it would be nice to talk about more on the physical side and maybe the physical challenges r regarding the changes that are happening during this time. And we were talking about the fatigue and tiredness that might be occurring, especially when our our kids are born, you know, and they are newborns and we pretty much lack time.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Oh my god, did you feel like you know you your your kid is like now big enough? How many kilos is he?

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Oh, he's almost 11 kilos now, so it's it has changed a lot in the past couple of months. Absolutely. And and I can definitely feel it, you know, when I'm holding my kid and picking up the city.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought. Oh my god, that's the worst. Because this is gonna continue. This is not gonna stop. I mean, my six-year-old, he wants to be picked up as much as my four-year-old and as much as my two-year-old. Yeah. And I can definitely feel a difference from picking up uh a 22 kilo or picking up a 15 kilo or picking up uh like 10 kilo. It's like, oh my god, the back pain or like back struggles it can give just to holding one side because you're dead. Yeah, you know, you're strong, you you want to be the the the lion of the family, right? Exactly, you're the solid rocket. And you just keep on going too long sometimes, you know, you have to admit that. And it's not a problem in the situation, but when you sleep on it and you know you have a little tight left side, and you you you you're lying wrong all night and you're waking up in the morning and oh, it's locked. Everything is locked, you know.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Exactly, exactly. So I definitely gotta appraise the mom as well because you know they're not so so ph physical or so strong necessarily as I am, but when I see them, you know, playing with with our kid at least as much as I do, you know, without showing any like clear struggle, you know, it's amazing, amazing thing this Hallelujah for massage, definitely. And I think the massage has helped so much like when when we're thinking about the recovery and keeping body in a good shape, please. Yeah, yeah. But but what about some other like practical things that you have been doing to make sure that your body is in in a good shape?

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Well, uh back to some of the uh previous episodes where we talk about this uh baby festival. Yeah, that was uh one of the best bought buys I I actually bought at that festival was uh like a seating uh device. Yeah. You know, the one you click on the back.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah, like a harness.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And even though you don't have to, you know, string it all around your neck and get them all settled in, it's also working if you just click it around your waist. Yeah, and then you have the seating pattern because it's just you know pushing down on your hip and your leg. Yeah, and that taking most of the weight, so you can like turn them around and just have them sitting with your arm around them, and then it's like you know, they can see the whole world, there's no problem. And then, of course, the good old sit on the shoulder instead of holding on the chest or in the back. Yes, and I think that can be very releasing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

And I 100% agree on that one. I bought probably the exactly the same harness thing, and when I'm having the kid like in in front of me, like sitting in a good position, and I have the harness on so my back doesn't crouch always when I'm trying to hold him and everything. Oh my god, it has been such a relief. Absolutely, especially if I need to go down and pick something up with when holding my kid as well. Agreed, agreed. Yeah, so I would definitely recommend getting one of those.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

True that, true that. But I also think like you know, with the whole dad body talk, it can have many uh many strings, many relations, many uh many uh roads, uh, because if you see on a guy that's coming from single with his girlfriend going to be uh dad, it can take so many directions.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

And the direction is easy to go, like when you have cleared out the first, let's say six months, the baby is more capable of walking, taking care, the mom is more capable, maybe the grandparents take more care, and you get your kind of life back.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

There is a certain need for both the the the the mom and the dad to to go and get the social relations back. Absolutely. And if you look at it that way, and and and probably sometimes there will be in I don't know, fifty percent, I would guess, of the cases where you maybe are not in the same place anymore as you were before. Everything was pink, uh, you were two, tea was getting bigger and bigger, you were having your little wonder. Yeah. And in 50% of the cases, you were more or less ready for it, in 50% you were maybe not. And if you were in the latter, then you also have a need to go out, maybe drink some more beers, and uh, you know, these kind of uh unhealthy habits. Yeah, loosen up a little bit. Loosen up a little bit, exactly, and there's no uh no bad in that, but that could also, I think, contribute to like we talked about before the wheel that is going like, you know, last week was fun. So we gotta do it this week again, and then you suddenly go from being 100% dedicated to family time and your baby and everything to on a weekly basis or on a daily basis, even going to drink alcohol or going to eat, uh, you know, maybe not the most healthy kind of food. Yes. And that could also contribute to that you got a little gain on the weight and a little less gym time, and you know, because this was important for yourself to to get out there and be socialized. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

It spirals up in the habit very quickly, and of course we're gonna understand that because that has been something that we were missing for so long time that we would like to, you know, loosen up like we talk, and sometimes we can get too caught up in the fun time when thinking about that. So that's something that we definitely need to be cautious, cautious about.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

And that's also a spiral that I think many people end up in where they go out and they feel suddenly alive again in a different way because they come from from from this isolated, uh very fun new project family, and and out to socializing again and finding out that there's a whole world out there still and everything moves on, and and you know you have to be somewhat part of it. But I think that that that wheel can really spin off in a bad way because you can also suddenly end up feeling obligated to be back and obligated to your work again, your friends, you you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Exactly, exactly. And that's that's a very interesting thing to talk about. And of course, on the side of that, like when we were talking about having fun and doing these things, of course, on the other side of the coin, we can think about that if some some men, for example, dads are experiencing difficulties at the home with the kid, etc., they might feel the need to, you know, relieve themselves, you know, and then you know feel like Hallelujah, I did, man. Yeah, yeah, but you know, it can very much like be both both things when we are thinking about loosening up and you know agreed, white winding up.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

And if every everybody out there is sitting and have relatable stories or some kind of uh pin-cornered situation or a situation where they just feel like they might have some of this dad guilt over feeling that they want to prioritize some time out, yeah. Please tell us your stories or give us your like situations. We will be happy to like again, we are not professionals at all, we are just real dads that's talking like real stories from real life.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

Yeah, from our own points of view. But we will love to reflect on it. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Other than that, the pressure can really get to you as a dad because you want to be the the the the the perfect role model, you want to be the perfect dad, you want to b be the perfect partner, you want to be the perfect in everything. And very quickly, I would say. If you are not already Mr. Perfect, then you realize that that's not gonna happen. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Even though, as much as we would like it to, you know, be something real at the end of the day, it's a big illusion because no one is perfect, everyone has their own faults, and this is again one of the topics that we are able that we rarely talk about, especially regarding the body image and habits behind it. So this once again has been very good conversation, and we would be more than happy to hear from you guys listening to this podcast that what have been your own experiences regarding it, if you guys have some practical tips or things to consider.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

So, Daniel, if you should be the one that uh gave me some practical tips for upcoming dadship or just after being a dad to maintain, first of all, that I don't went into a dad bot that I didn't want to. Yeah. But second of all, also maintained my structure and my routines and didn't lose everything. What would that be?

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Like you were talking previously, you pretty much said the keyword already, which is structure. So it's very important to try to schedule your upcoming days. Think about like when you would have time to exercise, when you would have time to even do some meal preparation for the upcoming days. So you make sure that you eat proper food, you get some exercise in, but still you don't neglect your family time and especially the time with your kids. And I I think that would be the best tip from my point of view.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Absolutely, and I agree. I would say there there is a whole lot of different variations to it, but if you're coming from a very structured everyday, I would say sit down, line up everything you do. Many people game, many people have a lot of social relations, yeah, many people have uh late work days or something like this. Where you can cut down is some somewhat on the social relations because your social relations need to be built with a baby, yes, and with a little kid in general. So get used to that very quick. Don't cut down on your good habits, don't cut down on your training, don't go on compromise with your health habits, eating, and all these things. But like you say, prepare it a little bit better, prepare for the worst. So if you can make like three meals for the week on a Sunday or meals for the whole week on a Sunday, that would be even better. That would be even better.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Yes. And uh, one thing to add on this, I would say try to focus on consistency over intensity. That you don't always need to push three-hour works workouts and you push yourself to the limits, you know, avoid everything good to eat whatsoever. Just make sure that you consistently get some exercise in, you consistently eat appropriate meals, so to say, and that always wins the intensity.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

And guys, no matter what, if you just become a dad or a parent, remember that it's not always your your 100%, and it doesn't matter as long as when you are on your 100%, you're completely aware and present. But if you are not, then you just need to realize it yourself and be 100% okay with it. Because if you try to be 100% at a point where you have 10% energy left, you will always come out failing. Yes. Yes. Kids they are absorbing everything like a sponge, and they know when you're not in a good mood, they know when you're in a good mood, or good place, or a bad place.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Exactly. And these are the moments when we actually show the effort that we're able to push in towards them even when we are pushing at like 10% of the total energy.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Completely agree. If you show up, show up. If you try to show up but really don't want to show up, better not to show up. Yeah, they will notice it. Absolutely. Alright, guys, this was it for today's episode of Dad and Then What? I am so happy here to be back with Daniel and uh talking to you guys about being a dad. I don't know if you have any last word to say about our next episode.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Well, once again, you know, it has been a pleasure having this session once again after a while, and I'm already looking towards our next session and to give a small sneak peek on the next episode. We're talking about the family traditions. Oh, that's interesting. Yes, whether we should pass them down for our kids as we were experiencing them previously, or if we perhaps should start something new.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Real too, right? Alright. That's a very interesting discussion, and I'm probably sure that you guys have a lot to say and to take on that. Please don't hesitate and write us, and we will be back in the next episode with absolutely once again.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Thank you guys. Have a good night. Have a good night.