Episode 11: Why Your Smallest Habits Become Their Core Memories

Episode 11: Why Your Smallest Habits Become Their Core Memories

Do you remember the exact moment you realized: Wait, I’m the dad now. I actually get to decide what our family does on Sunday mornings? We all grew up with certain holidays, weekly routines, and cultural rituals. Some of them felt magical, and others just felt like stressful obligations because "that’s how we’ve always done it." Now that we are the ones steering the ship, we have to figure out what to pass down, how to blend traditions with our partners, and when it’s time to just completely start fresh.

In this episode of Dad And Then What, we are talking about the massive impact dads have on creating family culture. We unpack why kids actually care way more about the boring, repetitive stuff than the massive, expensive events, and how your everyday habits are secretly building their core memories.

In this episode, we get into:

• Nostalgia vs. Reality: Trying to recreate your own childhood traditions—and deciding which outdated, stressful patterns to leave behind.
• The Power of Small Rituals: Why things like a special handshake, a weekly dad-and-kid breakfast, or a Friday pizza night create stability and identity for your kids.
• Merging Worlds: How to handle the friction when you and your partner come from completely different family cultures or backgrounds.
• Starting Fresh: Practical tips for creating new, simple traditions that actually fit your modern family's lifestyle and energy levels.

At the end of the day, traditions are rarely about the actual activity—they are entirely about the connection. Whether you are honoring your roots or starting a brand new weekly routine, the choices you make today might just be the exact traditions your kids pass down to their own families someday.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Alright guys, welcome back to Death and Ben What. Today we are gonna talk about a very interesting subject.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

We built right, we grow, we learned, we left on the track.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

We're talking about traditions and should we tap them down or maybe start something.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

I got a little confession to make.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

To be honest, me neither, but it's under protest. So hopefully before the episode 14, we are actually having some data on this one.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Let's say we make a promise. Before episode 14, we will have revealed and been taking our blood samples.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Let's dive into traditions, passing them down or starting afresh.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

So to start this conversation, for me the traditions have been always going around like cer certain holidays and festives during the year, especially the Christmas, birthdays, etc. And I think I've had very nice experiences regarding those. It has given me some some sense of the traditions that our family has been having like before me, and probably about something that I should maybe pass on to my kids as well. And I I think especially the Christmas is one of the biggest holidays and traditions that I definitely want to pass on for my kids as well. Uh what about your experiences regarding these things?

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Well, it's it's kind of a hard subject to talk about without talking about another thing. And I would say to add to your story up to a certain age, I was very tradition-bound, very tradition-happy, and like looking forward, like kids do, to certain mark days, Christmas, birthday, Easter, whatever. But I would like to ask you a question how does a tradition become set in stone for a child? Do you know that?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

That's actually a very good question. Actually, I I'm I'm not hundred percent sure, but but do you have some sort of idea?

SPEAKER_01 2:47

I would say children internalize by believing.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

That's very well said.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

So that is kind of I do what my family does.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Which is the creation of like a tradition, but it has many I would say headlines to it, uh repetition, emotional weight, consistency of the parents, co-creation, which means how much do you decorate, how much do you do out of the event, yes, storytelling around it, what like Christmas always have the Santa, and Easter have the Easter bunny and so forth. Then we have the whole social proof timing, when in the childhood is this introduced, and the stability around it, and last but absolutely not uh least, symbolic elements.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Those are very good cornerstones, I would say, when thinking about creating these traditions and passing them down for our kids. And now that I think about it, I cannot remember some other traditions from my own childhood, especially when I was losing my first teeth, and we were talking about these tooth fairy taking them and putting money under your pillow, so to say, and that was very much relying on the belief that the actual tooth fairy comes up, takes the tooth, and puts something under your pillow pillow on the change. And and that was a very nice experience when when I was a kid, but of course when I was growing up and I started to think about that what was the thing behind it, and I realized that okay, the tooth what age did you like come to terms with the tooth fairy?

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Probably wasn't the tooth fairy you have imagined.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

I think I was around five or six years old, so I got to enjoy it for a fairly long, so so to say. But when I started to investigate about these things, and I realized that this might be something that my parents have some sort of interference. Yes, yes. So then I became very suspicious about it, and that opened up uh another rabbit hole for the other things as well, so to say.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Exactly. And I think it has so much to do, especially with the repetition, first of all. Yes, and when do you start to to implement these kind of routines and patterns? And secondly, how much social proof do you get? Do your friends have the same beliefs? Yes, and do like the consistency of your parents or the adult who is doing this, is that like in line with your beliefs? Because if, like you said, you you reach a certain age, you find out that I I remember, especially with the Truth Fairy, I found out that it was not the Truth Fairy who came with money, so I could kind of maybe make a little more impact on the wishes that uh what was under my pillow. And I remember I got these BH uh tapes with the Tintin. Oh of a sudden, because I have been really wishing for them for my mom, and that was like amazing, even though that I knew that it probably wasn't the Tooth Fairy with wings and this lovely princess who were coming flying in the with the little want and uh exactly steal my tooth. But it was still amazing, and the same with the Christmas uh whole the Christmas uh December tradition with the gifts every uh Sunday. Yeah. We had this, we were putting uh we were putting this ode up for the for the for the elf and the what do you call it? Yeah, in Danish we call it Nisse. Yeah. But like Santa Claus. Like his helpers, you know. Yeah, yeah, like the small elves. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like even though that the tradition broke a little for me, I had a younger sister who was really fond of this tradition, so I I I kind of find found uh believe in keeping it up for her sake, and I would be lying if I wasn't saying that I still believed in the bottom of my gut a little bit. Yeah. This was real, you know, this was still like kind of my and I think I was at that time, even 10, 11 years old, something like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

Exactly. Even though that you start to question about that if this imaginary person is there or no, you still think about like there gotta be something magical behind all this, at least.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Exactly. And and I think when when you become to to correlate it a little with being a dad, all of a sudden where you know like kind of what what you believe is up and down.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Is like you realize that I am the one creating and making these traditions in the way I want them. Absolutely, and that give you a certain element of power that is so impactful on your kids that you can make it as I would say pink and beautiful as your parents try to make it because they had a story to correlate with, but you can turn it or twist it into somewhat more realistic that even when they find out, it's not gonna be because many times when I found out personally, it was like a shock or like a it felt like a betrayal almost. It was like a freaking betrayal, you know, and and it was like these betrayals. I would like, as we talked about earlier, I I want to have a transparent, honest relationship with my kids as possible, because there's of course certain things about life and the world we live in today that is not prepared to to be revealed for a kid in certain ages, but you can still prepare them a little bit and and still make it magical and still make it uh story related, um where I hope when they find out they'll be like, okay, that correlated a little more with reality than what I had experienced.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Absolutely. So it does not necessarily need to wrap around some crazy stories, so to say, but when it comes to the being together at these moments and creating a routine and something nice to wait for, it's much more impactful and useful for the kids later on.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Exactly. I mean a a good belief that or belief system that I have unintentionally created for my kids is holidays. Yeah. Because we have holiday every weekend. Yes. And that has been like easy from the beginning and with no further thought on the future, but has ended up in that we are actually having holiday every weekend, which is awesome. Of course, we also have normal holidays, and there is they are aware about their special times like Christmas holiday, summer holiday, where they are longer periods away from school or kindergarten. I would say on a daily basis, they are asking me, like, Dad, when is the next holiday?

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

And they're just referring to the weekend.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

But that's super nice because that's something for them that they're definitely waiting and looking forward to. So you have done a very good job like creating a tradition already in this sense.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

You can say it like that, but if you want to look with the little more, I would say, skeptical glasses on, you could also say that they actually just try to figure out when is the next time I can be with you 100%.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

Absolutely, and that's a very important thing to think about because of course we have our jobs to think about, maybe our hobbies and everything else. So that is always some time away from them. And this this comes to the dad guilt once again, that we really need to schedule things and think about like prioritize what is important for us, what we need to do, and when and make sure that that our kids also know that that what is gonna happen and when most likely.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Agreed. And that's also back to the talk about like being able to homeschool and have the time and the money, a financial situation to actually be able to like implement them in your everyday, even though like if it was this podcast we were making, or if it was some other job, yeah, that you could be able to school them in the mornings, have playtime in the afternoons, still find time for your work, and still be with them in the evening time, so you kind of have the total package uh where you wanted it, and with the time management you wanted it.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Exactly, exactly. And to to go back to the topic about these like certain mark days, uh holidays, etc. Um I would like to say that now that we are dads and we're actually creating these traditions and habits for our kids, of course we're the ones at the moment who are able to create the possibility to actually create stories, etc., around them, and at the moment we're the ones who have the possibility to take them away as well. So for example, if we get too caught up in everything else and with the with the uh how would I say the normal days that we actually forget about, like create something to look forward to from the eyes of the kids that might have some effects as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Absolutely, absolutely. I think like these mark days as I remember them is also helping you feel first of all important in a world that's so ever changing in a pace that we not even are able to follow, our parents wasn't able to follow, and probably our kids will experience as twice or four times as fast as we are experiencing, uh with where the world is going with with technology, AI, and and all these uh very uh interesting and scary uh scenarios. But birthdays, Christmas has absolutely been unavoidable. Yes. Also, because of the relatives, you know, they they are like really fond of uh making a big thing out of the day. I I brought in some traditions we had from from Denmark where we're having uh morning dinner very early. Yeah, you've been wake up and there's presents and there is breakfast, giving the presents out, eating the breakfast, and that it's it's a whole thing rather than when you get older, it's more like you want to invite some close friends and near relatives out on a dinner, yeah, yeah, and the importance of the gifts and the whole excitement about your birthday is also I would say socialized, uh depressed in a way where it's go down the the older you get, yes, and unfortunately, after my opinion, also is kind of putting a shadow over getting older as a negative thing and not a positive thing, yeah. And that's also something that every parent, every adult uh who is getting older has to kind of deal with in some kind of way, and of course, we have certain physical science as the what do you call it uh over the the age of being like 40, 45 to to being a little bit older, yeah, like middle age, middle age, something like that, where people sometimes have a crash, you know, in yeah, in in the sense of uh like a crisis, yeah, like the midlife crisis, exactly. Yeah, and and and I think that that is totally in normal because you suddenly hit an age where you realize that this is the amount of time I probably have back. Exactly. This is the amount of things that I didn't do, and this is the amount of things that I did do.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

And many times we are so socialized creatures, we are so comfortable creatures uh as like humans and and and humankind that we kind of end up in these wheels where we are most comfortable rather than where we develop ourselves the most.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

That that's very well said, and of course, like when we hit these certain age points, I think we come more conscious about how that our time in here is very limited at the end of the day, and we of course try to make the most out of it, and it depends very much on the person, but it can make you more optimistic and think about like okay, now I can focus on these things and do more, and on the other side you can start to think like, oh my god, I have used so much time doing not not doing the things that I wanted to. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

And I think one one important uh thing about traditions today in the modern age of 2025 would also be to really elaborate and make a big deal out of it to your kids to actually tell them the background story of the tradition. Because many people that I know has been upholding these traditions without knowing where the tradition is coming from, why it started. That's kind of weird. Both and above, because in the age we're living in, everything has to be convenient, everything has to be fast, everything has to be fast. Exactly. And it's easy to say that Christmas is the the party of the gifts, it's the party of the family coming together. Yeah. But why? I have no idea. You know, it's it's just convenient and easy and and and it's so commercialized uh these days that you just know that there's cheap tickets, there is uh cheap Christmas gifts, uh, there's sales, there is uh all these things that you just have to kind of take in, and and it goes so fast, and then we are in the January, then we are in the Easter, then we in the summer holidays, then we are in the exact and you know, like so. I I kind of understand from my own perspective that things are going so fast by and time have never in my life that's another thing, a little bit off off the topic, but time has never fly as it does at the moment. It certainly does. Totally crazy. Yeah, days are going by like a blink and weeks and years, and it's like, what happened? Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

That like especially like when something big happens or when you are very caught up, something that you're very interested in. It seems like that the years just go in the blink of an eye.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

And I mean uh uh a funny thing about our topic is also like different traditions correlated with religion and uh and and and of course also true traditions from from older times, and both you and me have this situation where we're coming from totally different uh frames and totally different uh religions and traditions. The traditions uphold here by my uh my wife and her family is like uh they're Buddhist, uh like yours.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Some of them I totally correlate with compared to logic, which is making sense. We were going to this beautiful thing where you release fish and crabs at this event. You also can on the shell of the crab write some like dates, names, or good wishes, and then you release it. Which I kind of catch the idea on was beautiful quite quick. Yeah, we went there, uh we were standing in the baking hot sun of 32 degrees uh heat, which was no problem, of course, because this was not for me, this was for them, and and they were excited, and the kind of uh truck came with the fish, and everybody was lining up. And when we came there, I would say 20%, if not 30%, of the fish were dead. Oh exactly, and I was like, you know, this beautiful thing in my head, and that can also correlate a little bit with my perfect vision of it, maybe, but but it was like it died a little bit to be honest, in that moment. Um but still if you look at the kids, they don't really they they look at what your reaction is.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

They are more keen on the parents' reaction, more to the storytelling behind the tradition itself, and that's why I think that your own traditions and how perfect or unperfect they were will kind of be able to fuck it up if you were holding too tight to them. Yes, but if you just like we talked about earlier, creating your own traditions and making them work for your kids, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad compared to your situation when you were a kid. So, in that matter, you can have a really bad relationship to Christmas, you can have a really bad relationship to birthdays or Easter or whatever it is. But if you choose to create a positive outcome for your kids with this relation, it will be totally different for them.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

Exactly. That that's very true, and when we are thinking about birthdays, for example, I have very good examples about this because for me, always the birthday has included some sort of sort of appraisal towards me, towards the birthday boy, yeah, so to say, and it has included the family getting together, getting some presents, the cake, and spending time together. For example, for some of the people I know, they didn't have that type of situation at all. You know, it was just a normal day on the side of the other days. And that was very sad because they didn't feel the same sort of excitement and happiness about it. Yeah, it was very disappointing because of course they could see like other people celebrating birthdays around them in very different ways and then they were thinking that why I cannot get the same thing. So this is definitely one of the things as a parent that we can we can work on and make sure that our kids are definitely you know experiencing as in a good way.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

I have two things that that I want to say to that because I was home with the middle one last year in Christmas to Denmark and celebrating Christmas and New Year. Yeah. And that was amazing to see my family and they saw him for the first time and you know he's four years old three and a half at that time and he didn't give a fuck to be honest about all the Christmas charade you know yeah he was totally fond of seeing his cousins and we went to like this amusement park in Copenhagen Tivoli and we went around the fireworks firecrackers he was totally amazed about but all the traditions like all the the Christmas tree thing the the the the presents of course he was totally amazed and overwhelmed because everybody in the family would spoil with gifts and all this charade but he didn't mind the tradition at all okay like the the the the the thing you do to decorate the thing you do with the confetti and the candy you are making and all this he didn't mind at all. Yeah he b because he's not used to it from here in the same way I mean we have a Christmas tree in the December and and yeah but cultural wise it's very different. Totally different yeah the the the second thing is that I think also when it comes to your kids and what you want to create for them another important tradition is as I experienced what do you want to deliver to them of values from your family tree or from yourself.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

And of course also the other way around what don't you want to deliver to them and I had an experience personally that I wasn't ready to be asked that question when I became a dad because I didn't even know my own why and I didn't even know my own values.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

Yeah. So of course then it's very hard to start to think about stuff like ball.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

And and it wasn't before I start thinking about it I was aware about these things. Yes. So that that made a huge impact on me finding out first of all who am I what it what is my direction what do I want to actually give to them and I think that is also if not more important than absolutely important area to cover as a dad that if I don't even know the values or I'm taking the values from my parents to give to them first of all why am I doing that if I not have my own and second of all why don't I have my own and let me find it. Exactly and then begin to focusing on what is my last name worth what is my last name stand for and what do I want them to carry on from my last name.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Exactly exactly so when we're thinking about these things that if if we if we are keeping and tradition that we don't know the story behind it or the reasoning why we are doing it maybe it's better to you know better to not pass that on.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

At least get ourselves updated in such a way that we figure out is this kind of ridiculous to me now? Yeah or is this making sense because again a tradition for a kid is bound on so many different things than it is for us now.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Exactly and it's very nice that you know even though it has changed along the way during the years I I think like for example to your family it still might be a big thing even though it doesn't feel like so big thing for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

And I must admit like when I was 13 14 yeah I was still lying awake all night up to my birthday because I was wishing for that Sean Paul C D C D E you know like or whatever it could be. And and and and that was amazing so so definitely don't take it away just because maybe it was wrong to me to say that is ridiculous to you then take it away from them not at all but evaluate the way you are presenting and representing this mark day.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

And then do it in a way that correlates with you and make that important to them.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Exactly or maybe even think about thinking about on the side that what it means to the people very close to you for example the family.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Exactly exactly because I also think that any any anyhow if if that's uh some people mean that is a bit old school but I still think that is the dad's absolute role to create the family culture. I think so and and and and that includes the values it includes the the the the direction we're having the why of the family you know and and also including taking very good care of your woman taking very good care of your partner and your kids in in such a way that everybody can feel the love the the warmth the direction without having to go ask I would almost say but just like we talked about earlier just have to look or you know you bring them to the gym you bring them to the work you bring them to the eating places you bring them to the friends' houses or or the communities where you don't have to hide anything.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

Exactly so I think we are supposed to be like a compass for the family regarding showing the showing the way exactly what we should do what kind of values should we bring up etc and they bring like a clear example what we don't want to be I I think you have seen the movie The Pirates of the Caribbean. Yes you know the main character Jack Sparrow. Oh absolutely and he has the compass which never works it never shows the direction to the north it's all over the places and of course we don't want to be that type of compass that we are constantly trying to ask advice and guidance which way to go because then we are not creating anything authentic.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Agreed we're creating a fabric fabric fabricated way so to say regarding values, traditions and everything else so what is much more important regardless of these mark days and upholding these mark days is to making the small routines in the everyday yeah like secret handshakes it could be the special bedtime routine it could be the Friday night pizza night with movie or whatever it could be.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Exactly a meal together during the day it can be such a small thing but it has so big effect later on. Exactly and for for us for example especially now that we have very limited time from Monday to Friday because we need to focus on the work hobbies etc that during the weekends we take some time off from the phones and everything else and just sit down together and talk about how is everyone doing you know we're enjoying a meal together and so we are actually be we are able to be actually present in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

That's a really funny that's a really funny thing to say because I have noticed that I'm really aware about when my kids approach me we talked about this before I'm putting my phone down instantly. Yes I'm looking at them I'm trying to be aware present and all these things and I have noticed not to hang my wife out in any way but she's also busy with work she also have a lot of stuff and she's doing quite the opposite she's forgetting to put the phone down she's you know not even taking the phone down and saying I'm on the phone I need a minute I will be back to you when I kind of finish and and and you know but I can also see it on them when they have screen time they will ignore me deliberately and it's like so many people I'm sure have frustration with this problem that they are going into the living room quickly saying hey now it's uh TV time off or turn off the PlayStation or Xbox or whatever and nothing happens.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

Yeah and even if you try to push it you can see the clear annoyance in their face.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Absolutely and I think there's two sides of it. One is what do you do yourself? Of course absolutely like role modeling and and be the the exactly the the the the absolute example the second thing is that kids have a a way their brain works that they need to shut what they're doing down. Yeah and that takes time and sometimes it's like 30 seconds sometimes it's like one and a half two minutes but the most important thing in this situation and the best advice I can give for any parents that's struggling with exactly this problem when I say something they don't listen is to get their attention first and get their accept on what's gonna happen and then give them some time at least two minutes. And I think that's the most important part of it. See what happened. Try it next time if you're if you're in this situation and your kids is not listening you get their attention get their eye contact get the message out there and say this is what I want you to do and you do it now. And of course if two minutes pass nothing happened you pick it up again you say is it you or is it me who's gonna turn it off because then they have the time to actually digest what is happening what you said and they are prepared for now we're just trying to push it or I'm actually going to turn it off. But I mean in the bigger picture of traditions and and and like passing things on I think we can agree the small things like why our values as as families as men as as as as parents has to be first of all correlated find them yourself and then try to put them in these everyday routines and then if we are looking at the bigger picture of Mark days, birthdays, Christmas holidays and Easter and and such forward look into the stories about what what's behind it. Does it correlate with your own values? Exactly what is the reasoning exactly correct them if they doesn't kids are comfortable with routines with patterns and that's that's the most important make it about your kids not about yourself or your own memories about traditions good or bad.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Absolutely and I think that when we're thinking about the traditions and the habits around them I think for the kids especially it's more about the connection and not not so much the activities necessarily I keep reminding myself of this guys absolutely every time and every day but we got a new chance to make our old and new unique versions of traditions.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Exactly and that's the beautiful part that's the beautiful and most important part so yes your grandma or your grandgrandma did it in this way and if you have a recipe that is so good that you can't let go of please by all means do it. But it shouldn't be held up by traditions that they try to hold up because you probably don't even know where it's coming from. Exactly try to check that as the first thing and I'm not saying that there isn't traditions out there worth upholding from several years ago several hundred years ago absolutely there probably is but I'm just saying that if you stand in a situation with your kids in a situation where you have different cultures or different perspectives make it about them not about you.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

Exactly and like you said even though if the great grandma had a great recipe for the pasta sauce and you don't want to let it go you can always keep that and respect the roots regarding that but as you said if we don't know the story the reasoning or the good things necessarily behind it we can perhaps let it go and create something new to replace it. Totally agreed so that would be maybe their practical tip also to give on this one if you have any 40 stories like you probably will have from family traditions gone wrong or gone good yes anything you have implemented yourself where you're like wow this worked amazingly please don't hesitate and write us the story we will be happy to receive it and happy to bring it on yes sir yes sir and I'm looking forward our listeners comments and stories because maybe who knows maybe we might end up creating some new traditions also because of them.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Absolutely guys we have a lot of funny stuff ahead of us we have the video material we were talking about we are still testing it out and don't worry it's gonna be really great not that me and Daniel are the most handsome guys in the room but I'm sure you will survive other than that we have the next episode it's gonna be episode 12 we're gonna be touching bass with a little bit more challenging thing to talk about especially with the kids and I'm sure we will have very interesting conversation regarding that so to say we're gonna be talking about death and danger with our kids we are back in a week's time yes so remember to stay open minded and tune in especially for the upcoming episodes a little add-on is now we're talking about these traditions and situations where we talk about deeper subjects with our kids me and Daniel have been uh visiting a new side of that and then what we have been talking about creating these stories for you guys how to talk about your kids with these deep subjects and maybe even starting creating some stories for your kids this is something we are quite excited about it's really new and we would love to have your input on any ideas or new modern times ways of approaching this subject absolutely because especially when we're thinking about this podcast the main point is to give help from a dad to another one and maybe even some advice is or maybe even receive them but we still somehow feel obligated to do something for the kids as well thank you guys once again have a good night we got you back