The Great Splashy Battle

Sometimes the teammate who seems least important can surprise everyone, and games are funniest when everyone stays kind and laughs together. In Hedgehogtown, behind Mrs. Patterson's garden shed, there was a sign stuck in the dirt. Chip had written it in big muddy letters. "WELCOME TO THE GREAT SPLASHY BATTLE." Chuck stood beside the sign with a cabbage leaf tied around his head like a helmet. Chuck looked very proud. Chewy stood beside…

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

In Hedgehog Town, behind misses Patterson's garden shed, there was a sign stuck in the dirt. Chip had written it in big, muddy letters. Welcome to the Great Splashy Battle. Chuck stood beside the sign with a cabbage leaf tied around his head like a helmet. Chuck looked very proud. Chewy stood beside Chuck with a bucket on his foot. Is this my boot? Chewy asked. Chip squinted at him. No, Chewy, Chip said. That is a bucket. Chewy looked down. Oh good, Chewy said. My boot would be much too wet. There were soft water balloons in one pile, there was squishy mud in another pile, there were leaf shields, stick flags, and one wagon with a squeaky wheel. And there were mice. Five little mouse friends from the hedge had come to play. They wore acorn caps and looked extremely ready. One tiny mouse squeaked, We want the blue team. Another mouse squeaked. No, we want the team with more snacks. Chuck lifted a cloth from a tray. That would be my team, Chuck said happily. I have apple slices, crumb biscuits, and emergency cheese. The mice gasped. Chip puffed out his chest. Alright, Chip said. Rules first. This is a kind battle. No aiming at faces, no throwing hard, no sneaky meanness. Chip raised one paw. And if anybody shouts pickle break, everybody must freeze. The mice nodded. Chuck nodded. Chewy nodded so hard the bucket fell off his foot. Excellent, Chip said. Now I will divide everyone into teams. Chip pointed one paw at Chuck. Chuck, you are with me. Chuck saluted with a celery stick. For honor, Chuck said, and dipping sauce. Chip pointed at the mice. Three mice against us, two mice with Chewy. Chewy blinked. I get a team? Yes, Chip said. But your most important job is to guard the spare balloon bucket. Chewy looked at the lonely bucket near the shed. That bucket? Chewy asked. That bucket, Chip said. Chewy smiled. I shall guard it with my whole entire body. Chip nodded. Good. Try not to fall into anything. Chewy looked offended. Chip, Chewy said, I only fall into things when they are very near me. The battle began. Chuck grabbed a leaf shield and rolled behind the fort. The fort was made of flower pots, an old crate, and the cushion Chuck had named Sir Softington. The mice zipped through the grass like furry little whispers. Chip whispered Ready Steady Splash. Chip tossed a water balloon. It flew beautifully through the air. It missed every mouse. It landed in Chuck's snack tray. Chuck stared at the soggy cheese. War is terrible, Chuck said softly. A mouse popped up behind a daisy and flung a tiny mud paddy. It hit Chip on the shoulder.

unknown 3:52

Paf.

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The mice squeaked with joy. Chewy cheered from his bucket post. Great throw, mysterious small person. Chewy, Chip called. They are on the other team. Oh, Chewy said. Then less great throw. Chewy bent to pick up a balloon. His foot slipped, his arms pinwheeled, his eyes went wide. I am still guarding, Chewy said. Then Chewy sat down in the mud. Whew. The balloon bounced from his paws, sprang upward, and sailed high into the sky. Everyone watched. Up it went, up and up. Then down it came. Plop. Right onto Chip's head. Water dribbled down Chip's nose. The mice squeaked so hard they fell over. Chuck tried not to laugh. He made a very brave face. Then Chuck laughed anyway. I'm sorry, Chuck said. You look like a surprised teapot. Chip wiped his face. He took a breath. New plan, Chip said. So they made a new plan. Chip drew a battle map in the dirt. He added arrows, circles, and one dramatic X. Chuck built a supply station from bark, pebbles, and the muffin tin. He put balloons in one side and mud pies in the other side. Please do not eat the ammunition, Chip said. Chuck frowned at a mud pie with parsley on top. That seems unfair, Chuck said. Meanwhile, Chewy sat by the spare bucket, but Chewy was not alone. Behind the gooseberry bush, someone very large was listening. Chewy looked up and whispered Oh, hello. A soft, rumbly voice whispered back. Hello, little fellow. It was Boom, the enormous gentle bear from the hidden glen. Boom had come by with a bundle of firewood balanced on one shoulder. Boom peered at the tiny battlefield through his little glasses. This seems lively, Boom said. Chewy nodded. It is a splashy war, Chewy explained. A kind one. Boom nodded. That is my favorite kind. Just then a shadow passed overhead. Stella the Stork swooped low and landed near the fence with a neat tap of her orange beak. What on earth is going on here? Stella asked. A controlled muddy event, Chewy said proudly. Stella looked at Chip's Fort. She looked at the mice in the grass. She looked at Chuck, licking cheese off his elbow. I see, Stella said. I do not see, but I see enough. Chewy lowered his voice. Would either of you like to be in my army? Boom blinked. Your army? Chewy nodded. I have a bucket, but I feel the bucket, and I need support. Boom smiled. I can provide support. Stella fluffed her wings. I have ten minutes, Stella said briskly. Perhaps eleven if nobody gets stuck in a tree. Chewy gasped with delight. He scampered off with Boom and Stella behind the bushes. Nobody else noticed. That was because the mice had launched their second attack. They came through Chip's cardboard tunnels. They came under Chuck's leaf ramp. They came through the parsley. One mouse ran off with the blue balloon pile. Another mouse rolled away three mud patties. A third mouse climbed the fort and planted an acorn on top, like a victory flag. Chip spun around. How did they get behind us? Chuck pointed at the cardboard tubes. Through your secret tunnels, Chuck said. Chip stared. Those were supposed to be our secret tunnels. A mouse popped out of one tube and squeaked, Thank you for building them. A mud paddy landed on Chuck's leaf helmet. Chuck licked one corner of his lip. Still not food, Chuck said sadly. Chip looked around wildly. Chewy, Chip called. Where is Chewy? Nobody answered. There was only one lonely bucket. Chip gulped. Third plan, Chip said. We do the grand counterattack. Chuck puffed up. With the wagon? With the wagon, Chip said. They loaded every remaining balloon into the squeaky wagon. They grabbed leaf shields. They charged. For the fort, Chip shouted. For the snacks, Chuck shouted. The wagon bumped over a root. The squeaky wheel gave one heroic squeak. Then the whole wagon tipped. Bharp. Water balloons rolled everywhere, into the grass, under the fort, into Chuck's helmet. One balloon bounced off Chip's foot and burst on a mushroom. The mice cheered. The acorn flag waved. Chip dropped his shield. Oh no, Chip groaned. We are losing to creatures who wear nutshells. Then the ground went thump. Thump Thump Everyone froze. A giant shadow rolled across the garden. Boom came around the corner, pulling Mrs. Patterson's old wheelbarrow. Chewy stood inside it like a wobbly king, waving a dandelion. Stella swooped overhead with two dripping sponges in her beak, and behind Boom came three enormous sheep from the lane, trotting in a fluffy, confused clump. They were not fierce, they were mostly bouncy. Chewy pointed one paw and shouted My army has arrived. The mice stared up with round black eyes. Chuck stared with his mouth open. Chip blinked three times. Chewy, Chip said slowly, where did you get sheep? Chewy beamed. I asked politely. Boom gave a little shrug. They were nearby. One sheep sneezed. The sneeze hit a puddle. The puddle jumped into the air and rained mud on everybody. Stella flew earst over the battlefield and dropped a sponge. It landed right in the balloon bucket. Kurspoosh. Boom tried to stop the wheelbarrow. He stopped it too gently. Chewy kept going. The wheelbarrow rolled out. Chewy tipped forward. Chewy flew through the air in a perfect little hedgehog curl.

unknown 11:16

Whew.

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He landed in the biggest mud puddle in the whole garden. Mud sprayed up like a fountain. It splashed Chip. It splashed Chuck. It splashed every mouse. It even dotted Stella's long white feathers. For one second nobody moved. Then one mouse squeaked Pickle Break. Everyone froze. Boom froze with one paw up. Stella froze with one wing out. One sheriff froze with its tongue halfway to the acorn flag. Chewy sat in the puddle with mud on his nose. Then Chewy hiccupped. That did it. Everybody burst into laughter. Chip laughed until he had to sit down. Chuck laughed until he fell against the fort and knocked Sir Softington sideways. The mice rolled in the grass, squeaking and kicking their tiny feet. Even Stella made a sharp stork laugh, which sounded a bit like a bicycle with opinions. Boom rumbled with warm bear laughter. At last Chip stood and wiped mud from his cheeks. Chewy, Chip said, still chuckling, you won. I did, Chewy asked. You did, said one mouse. You had a bear. And a bird, squeaked another mouse. And surprise sheep, squeaked a third. Chuck nodded solemnly. That is very strong army work. Chewy looked pleased. Thank you, Chewy said. I also guarded the bucket. Chip looked at the lonely bucket. It was still there, and suddenly it was the most useful thing in the garden. Soon everyone was using it to rinse paws, whiskers, feathers, and one muddy sheep nose. Mrs. Patterson came out to see the commotion. She stopped at the path and put both hands on her hips. Well, misses Patterson said, either you have invented a new sport or the garden has fought back. Both, Chuck said. Mrs. Patterson laughed. Chip picked a daisy and tucked it into Chewy's muddy fur. Sorry we gave you only bucket duty, Chip said. You were very important. Chewy smiled. That is all right, Chewy said. The bucket introduced me to an army. Chuck lifted a ribbon made from grass. I shall present the grand prize to Chewy. Chuck held it up. One sheep leaned over and ate it. Chuck stared. The sheep chewed. Chewy bowed. I accept this honor, Chewy said. And that was the day the great splashy battle ended with mud, laughter, and the only winning army in Hedgehog Town that included one bear, one stork, and three extremely unmilitary sheep. Especially if he is standing in a bucket.