Ep. 6 What Being in a Room Full of Millionaires Taught Me

In today's episode, I share what it feels like to step into a room full of millionaires after growing up around money stress and scarcity. I break down the biggest mindset shifts I took away from the conference, including how to network like a real human, stop obeying made-up rules, and setting bigger goals by changing your environment. 

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Transcript

Tempo: 120.0

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This is Raw Authentic, where ambition meets authenticity. I'm your host, Tiana Reitnauer. And if you're a driven woman who refuses to settle for a life that looks good on the outside but doesn't feel good on the inside, you are in the right place. Here we talk about the pivots, the breakdowns, the reinventions, and the courage it takes to walk away from what's comfortable and the power of choosing yourself again and again. No filters, no fluff, just real conversations about what it means to live boldly, love deeply, and build a life on your own terms. If you're ready to stop surviving and start thriving, let's dive in. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Rothentic. I just got back from the most amazing weekend. I got invited to go to San Diego or Irvine to go to a conference with my cousin Michelle. And for those of you that don't know, I on my grandma's side of the family, we have quite a line of successful motivational speakers, specifically in the real estate space. So I come from a family that, you know, that's what they do. It's not a family that I've been like super, super close with, but I have been asked multiple times to come to one of these conferences. And I just I didn't work timing, scheduling, whatever. And finally I got to go. And it was really, really insightful. And it was really encouraging. And I wanted to share with you guys the experience that I had and the lessons that I took away of being in a room full of millionaires. So I went to this conference, and just for a little bit of a backstory, I did not grow up wealthy. I am, I did not come from money. We grew up pretty poor. My mom for a period of time was a single mom. You know, she was grinding, and we, you know, would get our power shut off. We'd have, you know, the common language was like, that's too expensive. We can't afford that. And money was just like something that was a like a topic of success of not success, of stress. It was a very like, I wouldn't say taboo topic, but it was, it was mostly identified money with stress or we don't have it. So growing up in that way, you know, like thinking of myself being like a millionaire was like, there's unless I hit the freaking lottery, like that's not gonna happen, right? Like it was not something that I would even consider being something that, you know, I would be able to achieve. Much less being in a room full of millionaires. Like a couple of years ago, I actually had this conversation with my mom where I was like, you know, we my mom and my stepdad met when I was 13 and we started to have a better life for ourselves. And, you know, my parents now do well for themselves and my brothers in private school. And, you know, my my mom started surrounding herself with different friends and friends that, you know, had more money than we were ever used to having, or, you know, are more than anyone that we had ever been around. And so this was only like maybe two years ago, where I said to my mom, I was like, you know, how how do you like I feel so uncomfortable being in a room full of like people that have a lot of money because I don't come from that and like we don't relate on the same level. Like we are, if you know Maslow's hierarchy of needs, like I'm in the survival and they're not in that space because they have wealth. And so it was like, how do you relate to people that have a lot of money? Like, what does that look like? And I loved my mom's answer because I asked her, like, you know, are you ever uncomfortable? And she's like, no, not at all. She's like, just you just be yourself. I'm like, okay, yeah, like be myself, but like we speak different languages, you know? And she had said something, you know, like people that have a lot of money, they are used to people being materialistic and what's the word, like just like focusing like in vain, focusing on like the wrong things, materialism, stuff like that. And she's like, they love to have someone that's actually real, you know, like authentic, and not that like all people that have money are not. But, you know, like with more money and more success, you you get a lot more of that materialism, that surface level, that like clout. Let's, you know, like, I don't know, flaunt all the shit that we have. So she said that to me, and I was like, yeah, that actually makes like a lot of sense. Okay. Fast forward, I get invited to go to a conference called Mental Journey to Millions, where I'm gonna be in a room full of millionaires. And I was like, okay, two years ago, this would have made me really like feel super out of place. And maybe that's why in the past I didn't go. And I'm not gonna lie, like there were moments where I was like, I don't know if I belong in this room. Like, I'm not, I didn't like like I didn't consider myself being like the person that was like a millionaire or like, you know, on that, on that road, you know, on that path, which is funny now because it's like not the truth. So going in there, I had these expectations of like, okay, these people are gonna be like hoity toity. They're like, I'm not gonna like be able to relate or resonate, or like maybe this conference is gonna be being spoken stuff way over my head. And I don't know, like maybe it's not, you know, gonna be for me. However, maybe there's opportunities for networking and like connecting with people and seeing, you know, like what the vibe is about and what could come from it. So I was open-minded. So I get to this conference and I learned very quickly that like my expectations and what I thought it might be was totally opposite from what it actually was. And there were so many takeaways and lessons that I wanted to share with you guys on what I took away from being in a room full of millionaires. And so one of the main things that Matthew Ferry had talked about in the conference was like giving this gift with basically like connecting with people deeply. And, you know, like I've been to tons of networking events where it's very transactional, very like, hi, I'm this person, this is what I do. And it's like, what can you do for me kind of thing, and like really just kind of slimy. And I never really resonated with that type of like connecting with people in terms of like a business setting. And so he really preached this whole like give the gift, where you essentially just are getting to know someone like genuinely intentionally, not about what they do for work, not about, you know, what they can do for you or what you do or trying to like sell yourself or give a pitch or anything like that, but more so really just hey, like, what are you working on right now? What are you most excited about? What are you most challenged by? Where do you need support? Like, what are you struggling with? What do you, you know, just like genuine questions about the person? And that took a lot of pressure off of me because there's all these like rules, and that's something he also talked about was like, there's all these made-up rules that we are trapped by that have been created by, you know, society, our parents, our peers, whatever it is. And we follow those rules and trap ourselves. And then we struggle, but we realize, but we don't realize that we don't actually have to follow those rules. We can break them. And one of those things that really was like so resonant to me was like, okay, this is a different type of networking that I really resonate with. I want to get to know you as the person. I don't give a shit about what you do. Not that like I don't give a shit about what you do, but like that's not the most important thing about you. And we, as professionals, we identify so much with what we do versus like who we are without that. So that was like really insightful for me to just like let's redefine what it's like to network and connect with people on the genuine, like human-to-human level versus like what they do. The second thing that was really insightful too is obviously I've talked a lot about mindset and your thoughts create your reality. And something that we get trapped into is this survival mindset over this like all is well mindset. So this survival mindset, it's acting out of fear, it's unmotivated, it's distracted, it's you know, like doubtful. Whereas when you're in this state of all is well, no matter what happens, all is well. You're more open, you're more grateful, you're more curious, you are more abundant. And he had said something, I'll pull it up on here. He put a slide up that really resonated, and it was something that was a good reminder. And he said, if you're gonna make things up, why not make things up that empower you? Like we have what, 60,000, or I don't even know if that's correct, thoughts that we have in our head every day. And a lot of those are, you know, doubt, negativity. You know, our mind does lean more towards the negative side of things a lot of time. But if you are not aware of how that works, is your mind and your thoughts create your actions, which create your reality. So if you are not happy with where you're at, check your thoughts. Because a lot of the time, your thoughts are are is what is creating or not creating the action that you're wanting to take to get you to where you want to be. So if you're in your head and you have a negative thought, like why not change that into something that's more empowering? Even if maybe at this moment you don't necessarily believe it or are feeling like positive. It's like so important to really check yourself when you get into those patterns of negative thinking, of like essentially creating these thoughts that are continuously giving you the same results, which is not what you want. Change your thoughts and have thoughts that are more empowering to you. Because when you have thoughts that are more empowering to you, not more, not even not is it even more exciting, but who wants to think about negative shit all the time? Like, I know I catch myself, you know, and I'm like, okay, even if I can't visualize what my future is or I don't have belief right now that it's possible and I'm doubting myself, I'm gonna think about memories of when I did succeed or I did reach something, or I had a just a really fun memory in general, and load that up so that that is my focus going into my day or into the next task or the next hour. When you focus on those, you create more excitement and that energy is what's gonna lead you to what it is you're desiring. And it made me think of the quote that I love so much where it says, you attract what you are, not what you want. So you might want a ton of things, but if you are not that person that is an energetic match for that, you're not gonna see it if it hits you in the face. And so I just love that, you know, if you're gonna make things up, why not make things up that empower you? And going back to the rules, he's like, you know, I started this conference at 10 a.m. Why? Because I want to sleep in. And I'm like, yes. And he was like, yeah, and I take naps every day. And I'm like, yes. And he's like, yeah, and you should like take Fridays off. I'm like, yes. And it's like so interesting because like you hear these stories, you know, Jeff Bezos and what the frick, Elon Musk, and all these people that are like super successful, and it's like grind every day, like work 27 hours in a day, and like sleep where you work, and like no days off, and all these things. And it's like, okay, yeah, they're multi-million and billionaires. Like, that's how you have to do it. But being in a room full of these types of people that are more of my people, they were more like, no, actually, like get into a flow state, take more breaks, enjoy life, take more naps, take Fridays off. Like, what would you be doing if you gave yourself permission to break the rules of what everyone has told you you needed to do in order to create the success that you want? And it's like, it goes back to making decisions out of fear versus making decisions out of the mindset of all is well. It's like, I will not make enough money if I don't work and grind for however many hours a day, however many days a week, however many weeks in a year. And there is more than one way to reach where you want to go, like where you want to be. And it's not one size fits all where it has to be one way. And that was a big takeaway for me, is like, okay, I am on the right path. And just because other people are doing more or seemingly doing more than myself does not mean that they're going to reach this goal quicker than I. And if so, great, that's their path. But I'm gonna do what works for me, which is taking more time, which is taking more time to really just enjoy the journey, not rush it and take more naps. Like that was honestly the most refreshing thing. And I had a coach that I worked with back in 2021 that he told me the same thing. He's like, give yourself permission, dude. Like, why are you being so hard on yourself? Why are you like creating all of these like boxes and barriers that you're trying to force into, but you're like not wanting to be in them and you're trying to break out. Like, why not just not do that? I'm like, oh, I didn't know that I could not do that. So yeah, it was just awesome. Another lesson and really a takeaway that I took from this conference is he said, when your network changes, your goals change. And your goals are a direct reflection of the people that you're surrounding yourself with. So I'm sure you guys all know the whole saying of like, you are a combination of the five people you spend your most time with, right? And this was really just fire for me to like, hey, let's get into more rooms with people that think bigger, because I might actually be limiting myself by the goals that I'm setting based on the people that I'm currently around, because they're not in a place where they're thinking at this level that I want to be at. And so I'm not even able to see what those goals or know what those goals would be because I'm not. It's like, it's like if you were raised, like let's say for a dog, like they were raised and they were cray trained and they never left the house, like ever. They had this one area and then they didn't know anything different. So they're like, okay, this is my life. But then you put them outside and they're like, holy crap, I'm outside. Now there's all this to explore and like see what it's about. But they would have never known about that had they had been stuck in their crate inside the house. So that was maybe a weird example, but basically, moral of the story is put yourself in bigger rooms and surround yourself with people that think bigger, that are 10 years ahead of where you want to be. And what are they setting goals and thinking about? What are they talking about? What are they doing, daily habits, all of those things because those all will influence you to really start thinking differently. It's like the example of like the poor mindset, right? Like growing up not with a lot of money, we were thinking about how are we gonna pay to keep our power bill on versus being with the more wealthy. They're thinking about how can I get creative financing to accumulate this asset so we can start making me passive income and I don't need to trade my time for money anymore. What? Like, that's not something that someone in a poor mindset in that environment would even know what that is, much less be thinking about because they're only focused on how can I survive? How can I pay this power bill so my power doesn't get shut off? So yeah, that that leads me into that intention where, you know, that is a big intention of mine is how to stop trading my time for money and being around this room of millionaires and learning that, hey, there's actually ways that you can allocate your money towards assets that will create recurring passive income that you can live off of, where you're not relying on a job to support your cost of living, was like something that I've always known existed. But again, it felt so far out of reach because I didn't know anybody that, you know, would be able to show me what that looks like. Or I thought, like, oh, I need to have all this money. And that's not actually the case. So it's more like the more you know, and you learn more by the more you know by being with people who know a lot more than you. And just really taking advantage of like capitalizing on those, you know, relationships and those people to teach you. But yeah, I mean, the environment that you're in, it shapes you so much more than you think. And you don't realize how powerful you are until you're in the proximity of other powerful people. I'm trying to think of anything else that I learned that I feel like is really resonant on this topic. But those are the main takeaways. You know, definitely put yourself in bigger rooms. One thing I will say too is the people in this room, they have all of the same fears as we do. You know, they have fear of failure, fear of fear of rejection, fear of losing it all, the things not working out and being seen and all the same things. But the difference is they don't allow their fears to take over. They persevere and they take action anyway without letting that stop them. It's like those fears that are coming up are normal. It's how you choose to identify them with them and what you choose to do moving forward, whether you're gonna let your fear keep you like stuck and small, or whether you're gonna make something of it. And that was something that was really powerful to see as well. And also taking radical accountability for your role in your current reality. Like you have full control of creating the life that you want. And the only thing that's stopping you is following the rules that maybe don't apply to you, that you're trapping yourself in, thinking negative thoughts and not thinking empowering ones, which is creating a reality that you don't want, not putting yourself in the right rooms with people. That's obviously gonna keep you stuck if you're not being in bigger rooms and being around people and being in proximity to people that can help you expand. And yeah, really just being in a fear-based mindset versus an all-as-well mindset. So yeah, really curious to hear what you guys took away from this episode and if there was something that really resonated with you or stood out to you that you're like, oh man, like I need to do that. I need to connect more deeply with people, give people the gift, you know, I need to check my thoughts. I'm really curious to know what you guys thought about that. So leave a review and rate if this really resonated with you. If you feel like someone needs to hear this, please share it. My goal is to get this into as many ears as possible and help just one person. And then if you guys want to chat, you can always catch me on Instagram at Tiana underscore right now. And let's stay connected. See you guys next week.