Episode 4: Uncensored Would You Rather

18+ ONLY. Things get wild, messy and completely unfiltered in this episode of Work Wives Uncensored. We're putting ourselves on the spot with the most chaotic, feral and borderline cancel-worthy "Would You Rather" questions we could find. 

WARNING: This episode is definitely not safe for work, parents, or anyone easily offended. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Hello everybody and welcome to episode four of Work Wives Uncensored. This is Ashi. This is Jess. Today we're gonna play a little game with you guys. We're gonna play an unhinged version of Woody Rather. Insert a pause sound.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

This is gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_05 0:20

Yes, it is. Do you want to go first?

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Oh, okay. All right. We'll start off slow. Would you rather date someone who never texts back or text you every five minutes?

SPEAKER_06 0:39

Never text back. Like, what if I have something important to say and they just don't answer me? Yeah. Probably somebody that texts me every five minutes. Because that doesn't mean that I have to answer them that fast. Right. I mean, I probably would because I'm always on my phone, but I agree. That'd be my answer. Never text back. What the fuck? Am I texting my mother? She never texts me back. All right. Would you rather be able to dirty talk in a baby voice or in a corporate presentation tone?

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Oh, um, yeah, baby. That's so sad. I think a corporate tone. Really? Yeah. Try it out.

SPEAKER_06 1:20

Um, like so professional.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Oh, baby. This feels really good.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

A corporate professional tone. Please make sure to stick that right there. That feels really good.

SPEAKER_06 1:45

And in our next meeting, we just need to improve this.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:52

Ew. You'd really pick that, not a baby voice. Yeah, that's just creepy. What if they like it?

SPEAKER_02 1:57

Then they're in the kids in the career. Red flag. Red flag. Okay. Um, would you rather date someone with no relationship experience or too much relationship baggage?

SPEAKER_06 2:15

Oh, what the fuck? None.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Yeah, I agree. Same answer.

SPEAKER_06 2:19

I can train them. Exactly. Good boy. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 2:28

Okay. Would you rather have your crush see you fall or hear you fart?

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Oh, see me fall.

SPEAKER_06 2:35

Yeah, I would choose the same. So that they can come to my rescue. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

That happened to me one time.

SPEAKER_06 2:42

It fell in front of somebody. I did. If you saw a man fall, would that give you the ike?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Um, I mean, if he was like hammered, annihilated, and just like sloppy as shit, probably.

SPEAKER_06 3:00

That would give you the ick. That's expected, I fear.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Yeah, but I don't know. If they're just walking and they slip and fall on ice, I'd die.

SPEAKER_06 3:10

So what if you had like a huge crush on somebody and you were walking behind in the hallway and they kind of just like stumble their like shoe stack and they didn't completely fall, but they like you know, yeah, like the trip.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

I can't do it. I'm just not gonna chair squeeze. Oh my god. It's kind of a sounds really good. I would do a baby voice, I think. Really? Come here, Jamani.

SPEAKER_06 3:43

Then be freaky.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:48

Yeah, I'd rather fall. Hear me fart. That's so embarrassing. I don't do that anyway because I'm a girl, but exactly.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Yeah, that would be no, absolutely not. Um, okay, let's see here. Would you rather date someone super jealous who never or who never gets jealous at all?

SPEAKER_06 4:13

You don't either. No, you have to pick one. Never gets jealous, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Same.

SPEAKER_06 4:20

He's such a nonchalant king. Period.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Same.

SPEAKER_06 4:25

I like that. Yeah. Because too jealous, you won't be able to do anything.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yeah, that's too much.

SPEAKER_06 4:35

I don't like that. Okay. Would you rather be the reason a couple breaks up or the one who gets left for someone hotter?

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_06 4:43

Girl, there's nobody hotter than you.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Oh, thank you. I would rather. Oh, you're gonna hate this answer. I would rather get left for someone hotter, Jessica. I would feel so bad if I broke someone up.

SPEAKER_06 5:01

Yeah, but like you're almost doing justice to the woman because obviously if they can leave you for somebody, then they never wanted you from the jump.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

No, so even if I break up a couple, yeah, but then I'm gonna be stuck with this guy and he leaves another woman for me.

SPEAKER_05 5:16

What if that's your person?

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Um, all right. If it's my person, then fine. Sorry. Sorry. You know then sorry to do it.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

I guess I'm never finding my person.

SPEAKER_06 5:27

I would rather be the reason a couple breaks up, and I'm a girl's girl to an extent, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I would have to be the reason. I could not be left.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Yeah, I don't know. Would you rather date someone 10 years older or 10 years younger?

SPEAKER_06 5:45

Older. 10 years younger? That's a felony. You know, I had like that. It's greedy. It said, would you rather hook up with someone twice your age or half your age? How do I answer that? Obviously, twice my age and not a pedophile.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Yeah, I mean I dated someone 10 years younger. But oh my god, this one I think this time around it would be 10 years older.

SPEAKER_06 6:15

That one's hard for me, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Because your age.

SPEAKER_06 6:18

All right, well, 10 years older isn't bad. No, I'm 25, 35. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:24

No, that's fine. No.

SPEAKER_06 6:27

Would you rather pee your pants on a first date or throw up in their car?

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Um pee my pants. Me too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:37

Because what if they're like a huge car person, like they love their car, their car's their baby?

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Yeah, but then you gotta get in it with piss pants.

SPEAKER_06 6:44

Oh my god, that's true. Keep your pants off. Yeah, there you go. Just pretend you give out on the first date.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Oh my god. Yeah, definitely pee my pants. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_06 6:54

What if you had like asparagus that day though?

SPEAKER_03 7:01

Then that's debatable.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Yeah, that'd be disgusting. Um, okay. Would you rather date someone who overshares everything or never opens up emotionally?

SPEAKER_05 7:22

Overshares to who? Just me or everybody? Yeah, uh to you. Okay, overshares.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Okay, yeah, 100%. I can't have someone who's not willing to open up emotionally at all.

SPEAKER_06 7:35

And then you know what I'm really good at doing, like just thinking about other things when people are talking to me, so I can just like go off into lawland while they're oversharing.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Just like nod your head.

SPEAKER_06 7:44

I'm really uh for sure. Yeah, totally. You who got it, big guy. Okay. Would you rather hook up with someone who cries after or someone who gives you a Yelp review after?

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Oh my god, like cries because it was so bad. Like cries because they're so emotional, cries because a yelp review anyone can read. That's horrific.

SPEAKER_06 8:15

Yeah, and I feel like I would not want them to say something bad. Yeah, I guess cries, and then I would never see that person cries. That's so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Oh my god. Would you rather date someone too clingy or too independent?

SPEAKER_06 8:32

Too independent, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

I think so. Because that's fine, too clingy is like suffocating, yeah. It's too much, or you can just leave them.

SPEAKER_06 8:45

That's always an option, just shoot 'em. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I've had it. I'm gonna give myself a respite after this one. Seriously, BA agents listening to me. Oh my god. Would you rather have amazing chemistry but terrible kissing, or great kissing but awkward sex?

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Kissing is so like important. I think being a good kisser is like yeah, okay. Say it one more time.

SPEAKER_06 9:17

Would you rather have amazing chemistry but terrible kissing, or great kissing but awkward sex? Maybe great kissing but awkward sex because you can always adjust so great kissing, and if the lights are turned all the way off and you can't see anything, how is it awkward?

SPEAKER_02 9:39

I guess the motion around it. The motion the motion is awkward. All right, would you rather date someone with a crazy ex or someone who is still friends with their ex?

SPEAKER_06 9:56

Hmm, that's a good one. I know friends or crazy ex. Well, I feel like the crazy ex would beat the fuck out of me. But if they're literally just friends with their ex, just friends, yeah, like whatever. Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Yeah, yeah. Unless you hit like a restraining order on crazy ex or something, yeah, but you can break that. That's true, yeah. So I I I'd say the same. Someone who's still friends with their ex. Yeah, not crazy ex. No.

SPEAKER_06 10:28

Speaking of exes, would you rather date someone who talks about their ex constantly or someone who thinks they're perfect? Not their ex themselves are perfect.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Um someone who thinks they're perfect. I wouldn't want to hear about their ex constantly. Yeah, that's too much. Plus, I can just tell them how imperfect they are. I can just kill their ego. Yeah. Shut that or how quick or have someone else do it for me. Would you rather date someone who love bombs you or takes forever to show affection?

SPEAKER_06 11:11

The faces you make every fun. Okay, well, love bombing, it's nice in the beginning and then just like stops, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Unless they do something wrong and then they love bomb you again, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:24

Um, or someone that takes a while to show affection. Yeah, someone that takes a while, I think. Yeah, although sometimes I'd be like, Oh, does he even want me? He didn't even show me anything, yeah. But I guess that's better than like I fucking love you.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Yeah, well, it's like if someone I don't know, if someone love bombs you, it's like and it's constant, it's just they do something wrong and then they love bomb you throughout the whole relationship, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:54

And that's just a bad tree, I think.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, uh, that's a tough one. That is a tough one because like I wouldn't want to be with someone either that's how about somebody that just loves me the whole time, yeah, just constant loving.

SPEAKER_06 12:14

Yeah, would you rather have mind-blowing sex once a month or mediocre sex every day? Oh god, um and no, you can't like get them better if they're just mediocre.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Shit. Um Damn. If I'm with someone, you mean like if I'm in a relationship?

SPEAKER_06 12:41

I think just in general. In a relationship or not.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

I don't know. I guess yeah, but what if I don't want sex every day? But it's but it's the option.

SPEAKER_05 12:56

Yeah, you have the option to do it every day.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

I guess the world so it's a colony. All right, me mediocre sex every day.

SPEAKER_06 13:04

Really?

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Yeah. If I'm with someone. But if you're not then once a month I don't really give a shit.

SPEAKER_06 13:14

But it's mind blowing.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

Yeah, but damn.

SPEAKER_06 13:21

I know that one's hard.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

I think mediocre every day.

SPEAKER_06 13:27

Yeah, maybe, yeah. Yeah, I feel like once a month is too like about the other 29 days.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Would you rather date someone who follows hundreds of thirst traps or likes their exes photos constantly?

SPEAKER_06 13:50

This is to rage bait. This is rage baiting. I know. I'm feeling rage baited, though. Hook, Ryan, and sinker. Um thirst traps, yeah, 100%. Thirst traps because those girls don't know anything about you, moron. No, so why are you doing that?

SPEAKER_02 14:11

They just follow them, like they don't like their stuff, they just follow them, yeah, or likes their exes photos all the time. No, yeah, agree.

SPEAKER_06 14:19

So that one's actually not gonna stand in my book, thirst trap or crap, uh would you rather only hook up in the morning forever or at night forever?

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Oh, maybe the morning, really, yeah, starts my day off around at the end of the day. I'm so tired.

SPEAKER_06 14:41

It's like you know, yeah, but like what if you go out and you're like super drunk and you're like, Oh yeah, we're about to get it on, and then you're like, fuck, I have to wait till the morning, so I have to drink all night to keep this.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Shit, good point. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 14:55

Very good point. I would pick night, yeah. Also, the lights are nice and dark. This is true, so I can hide my huge body.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

My dad, I would pick night, I think. Yeah, yeah. If you go out and you're like tipsy, yeah, and like and come home and want to hook up with it.

SPEAKER_06 15:18

Then I don't have like random eyes or like hungover, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Good point, hair greasy, oh god, almost showered makeup all over, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:31

A moo one.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

I don't even own one, I don't either, but I want one.

SPEAKER_06 15:35

Really? Yeah, I used to have this nightgown that I wore religiously when I was younger. Had a steo fucking cupcake on it, and like the sleeves are like kind of like puffed out, and it had um like no like cinched, yeah. I'm thinking about it now, it just sounds so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

But little house on the prairie, baby girl.

SPEAKER_06 15:58

That's me with my fucking bowl hair cook.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I had one of those too. A bowl. I had hair down to my ass when I was young, like it was so long. My parents, my mom never cut it, and right before it was like third grade or fourth grade pictures, she's like, I'm gonna take you for a haircut. Like, okay, my hair was chopped up to my chin. I hated her for that. I could not believe she did that to me.

SPEAKER_06 16:29

Wait till I show you this patty.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Oh my god, it was so bad. Do you have a photo of it? No, probably somewhere, but not on my phone. I would have been so sad. I cried, I didn't want to get my pictures taken after this haircut that I got.

SPEAKER_06 16:45

Oh my god, I'm embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 16:49

I wish you guys could see pictures.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

I would totally show you guys this. Oh my god, that's yeah, that's literally like what mine looked like. My mother used to cut my bangs with the kitchen scissors.

SPEAKER_06 17:02

I'm not kidding. Just me, my fuck ass Bob. And do you see that like romper that I have on? Yeah. Okay, so they're from Walmart. Yeah, okay. In this picture, I'm probably like 10 or 11, and I had one that was blue and white. That was red and white. I would only wear those until they didn't fit me anymore.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

I was the same way ever wore. My mom had like this crazy 80s romper for me, and it had like triangles and shit on it, and it was like funky color or something. I loved this romper, I wore it all the time.

SPEAKER_06 17:35

Like, I'm looking through these pictures of us in Greece, and it's oh my god, here's that fuck ass nightgown. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Wear it outside, yeah. Nature girl. Oh my god. Okay, how about this fuck ass Bob? Oh my god, horrible, they're higher than Capri's.

SPEAKER_06 18:02

You and what my shoes are like fucking, yeah. I'm stepping the party. Oh my god, that is so penny loafers, and then this Christmas photo. I look like I'm about to teach like the eighth grade history.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Oh my god, that's horrible. The one with the khakis is hilarious.

SPEAKER_06 18:21

I really thought it was doing something with that outfit.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Oh my god, that's so embarrassing. Amazing.

SPEAKER_04 18:30

Oh, that's hilarious. Oh my god. Why would my mom do that to me?

SPEAKER_06 18:36

That's so hurtful.

SPEAKER_04 18:37

Stop putting my hair like that. That's so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_06 18:40

Oh my god. But then she won't cut Leo's hair too short. Like when she takes him to get haircuts, she won't cut it too short because she doesn't like it too short. But mine was a fuck-ass bob for a majority of my life.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

I know that feeling. I know that feeling. Frick this. Frick this. Sound like my kid. Frick this. Would you rather date someone bad with money or obsessed with money?

SPEAKER_06 19:04

Obsessed with money. Please don't be bad on money. Yeah. That one was way too easy.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 19:11

And if they're like obsessed with money and they're always trying to get it. I think that's okay. Yeah. Do they spend it or no? They're like frugal. Uh we'll say they're frugal. How frugal? Like they steal like packets of ketchup from like the McDonald's. Put bread in their packet.

unknown 19:32

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

I'm sorry. My grandmother used to do it. Put bread in her pocket?

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Not her pocket book, she used to call it. Oh, we're not. But I'm thinking of a guy. Like a restaurant. If she didn't eat it all, she'd wrap it up in a paper towel or a napkin that she put it in her pocketbook.

SPEAKER_06 19:50

That's kind of cute. Yeah. My cousins in Greece, they said that when they took my grandma to um like a buffet, she brought a little Tupperware.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 20:00

That's so adorable. She's so cute. That's hilarious. Honestly, that's a great ass hocking idea. Yeah, she would literally that's a really good idea. Take bread. I don't think we're allowed to do it here though. Probably not. That's so cute, though. It's like her leftovers.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

Yeah. That's adorable. And she'd eat it with her coffee the next day. Uh what kind of bread?

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Like Italian bread. Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:26

Was she Italian?

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Uh no, she was not. Oh, is she? Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 20:33

Australian? Austrian. Austrian. Yeah. Okay, period. Yeah. What was her name? Jean. Oh, really? Oh, we already did this one. Would you rather hook up a sauna? Whatever. Would you wear it?

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Yes, I would.

SPEAKER_06 20:48

Would you rather hook up in rain or the sauna?

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Oh, rain.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Really? Rain over the sauna? Yeah. That dude, have you ever been in a sauna?

SPEAKER_06 20:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

You're you can barely breathe in there.

unknown 21:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 21:03

You're like you can slip around on the floors. You can do that with the rain. Pretend you're a snake. Rain water. But what if it's cold rain?

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Yeah, then you go in and warm up by the fire.

SPEAKER_06 21:16

Yeah, but like you're freezing and you can't concentrate because you're just shivering. Then you grab a blanket. Then you have a sopping wet blanket. I would pick the sauna. That's so steamy and sexy.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

I'd be like passed out on the floor.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Won't be able to breathe.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Alright. Let's see. Would you rather date someone who never apologizes or apologizes but never changes?

SPEAKER_06 21:50

Never apologizes. Because if you apologize and then you just keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:56

That's just as bad as not apologizing. Yeah. You might as well just. Save your breath would be I'm sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

I think I'd rather have someone who never apologizes and actually changes. Right. Then apologizes but never changes and just keeps doing the same shit. Is it hard for you to apologize? Um when you're in the wrong. Sometimes. Me too. Or or I will apologize, but it's like not good enough. Like it.

SPEAKER_06 22:24

Yeah, or I just like sometimes I feel like I apologize because I feel like I need to, but I don't actually wanna, you know that Drake song, I'll admit I'm sorry when I feel I'm truly sorry.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

I say that a lot. Oh my god. It's good lyric. It is a good lyric. It's perfect for us. I like it.

SPEAKER_06 22:49

Yeah. Would you rather hook up on camera or watch your partner hook up on camera?

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Oh, with another woman?

SPEAKER_06 22:58

Yeah. No, with themselves, just jacking it.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Really? No.

SPEAKER_06 23:02

Oh with somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

No, fuck. I guess on camera for me.

SPEAKER_06 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

Have you done that before?

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Not like a phone camera, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:15

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

It's weird looking at yourself though.

SPEAKER_06 23:19

You're like, ew, stop. I know. You gotta turn the volume all the way down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

So yeah. Definitely not watching him hook up with another woman on camera.

SPEAKER_06 23:32

That would be torturous.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Yeah, that would that would literally be like okay.

SPEAKER_06 23:37

What if somebody kidnapped you and put you in their basement? Oh my god, you're so dark. Sewed your eyes open. The only thing that was playing was the person you were so in love with hooking up with somebody else. That is torture. No, that's horrible. That's horrific. I'm really gonna get arrested after this opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_06 23:58

That would be horrible.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

Would you rather date someone who hates your friends or your friends hate them?

SPEAKER_06 24:03

Well, if my friends hated them, I'd be like uh like they are never gonna want to come and do anything. But if my partner hates them, I feel like I can still drag them along to do stuff, they're not gonna sell anything for their face. That's hard. That's a hard one.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Yeah, but like if your partner hates your friends, you're never gonna be able to like hang out with them. Like it's always gonna be a problem. But if your friends hate them, then they're not gonna ever want to come over to it.

SPEAKER_06 24:40

Yeah, oh my god, that's so hard. Um which one has your best interest? Good point, probably your friends, yeah. Depends on the guy though, like if they just don't want you to have any connections with anybody that's what I'm saying, yeah. That one's really hard.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

I know. I think maybe my friends hate him because at least they'll be there for me. I can still talk to them, yeah, and see them. And they'll, if they're my true friends, they'll just either accept that I'm with him and be there for me, or they're not my, you know.

SPEAKER_06 25:27

Yeah, no, that's that's good. Yeah, I think I'd rather have that too. Yeah, I didn't think about it like that. Would you rather have sex in an airplane bathroom or in the sleeping car of a train? Both.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

He's like, I've done both.

SPEAKER_06 25:42

I have not yet. Oh boy. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 25:47

Um, I feel like uh the plane one's illegal.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Yeah, well, the train one probably is too. Yeah, probably. But I think the train cart, because it'd be like more space, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:01

But would you do both if you had the opportunity? No, I'd probably be too scared to get arrested, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

To get in trouble.

unknown 26:09

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:11

What if it's a private jet? Oh, if it's a private jet, then yeah. I'd do it all over the place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

Cockpit. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Would you rather date someone always late or always controlling the schedule? Always late, that's me.

SPEAKER_06 26:31

I would probably want to date somebody that's always late.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:35

Because if they have control of the schedule and they're always late, then we're both always late. Yeah, that's right. But if they're always late and we're going together, at least I know I'll be on time.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Right. And you can always control the schedule and plans a little later because you know they're always late.

SPEAKER_06 26:51

Yeah, like tell them one o'clock, but then actually. Yeah. Would you rather roleplay as a famous combo or as a couple you actually know in real life? God, can you imagine that?

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Like I think a famous, famous couple.

SPEAKER_06 27:06

Me too, because we've it's kind of seen those people like the next day. Yeah, like, oh, we just fake you doing sex. That's weird. That's so weird.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Would you rather date someone who reads your text or checks your social media constantly?

SPEAKER_06 27:24

Check my social media constantly.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_06 27:30

But yeah, but and social media, like, are they going on like my like physical page or are they just looking at like my followers what I post?

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Um yeah, they're just like going on and seeing like well, you posted your followers.

SPEAKER_06 27:45

Yeah. Okay, that's fine. I don't care. All my pages are public anyway, so yeah. Are they? Yeah. TikTok. My Instagram's not actually public, it's private.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

No.

SPEAKER_06 27:58

Would you rather have sex in a wanted house or in someone's backyard while they're home?

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Um well, like, can we hide behind bushes or just like right in their backyard? Like right on the grass.

SPEAKER_06 28:20

Could you imagine looking out of your window and there's a few going out? Like the little cats. A couple just like sitting there doing doggy style in the backyard. Would you rather make out in the last row of a movie theater or the back of a taxi?

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Last row of the movie theater.

SPEAKER_06 28:35

Yeah, I know that's better. That's kind of sexy.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 28:40

Have you ever done anything in the cool free in a movie theater?

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 28:44

Um, probably.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

Not nothing like too crazy.

SPEAKER_06 28:49

What does that mean? Elaborate details too here.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Um, yeah, I think it was just like making out. I've done that, but nothing like, you know, too frisky.

SPEAKER_06 29:03

Yeah. Can you imagine? You know how they have like the um projector in the back and you're like jumping up and down, and you just see it in your head, and your fucking tits are going everywhere. Shadow on the movie.

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Have you ever seen a movie that's in like um like Cam, like on your TV? Have you ever so we I I have a um jailbroken fire stick and I have an app sorry, and I have uh an app you can use to watch like you know, movies that are still in theater, and sometimes it's called Cam, like movies that just came out, and you'll see like you'll be watching the movie and you'll see like a person get up and like their shadow because it's somebody literally recording it, yeah. You're just doing that. Oh my god, would you rather date someone who avoids conflict or turns every discussion into an argument?

SPEAKER_06 30:01

Avoids conflict, yeah, and all arguments hit your brothers. Yeah, would you rather handcuff someone to a bed or be handcuffed to a bed by someone else? Ooh, it's kind of kinky.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Um, if it's not someone I trust, could you mind? Leave me there for days. I think I'd rather handcuff someone. Really? Yeah. But if it's someone like I'm really intimate with and like I trust them, then me.

SPEAKER_06 30:31

Okay. Yeah. You would have to eat like the heavy duty ones, because the fucking shit bag ones that you can get from the adult stores, they're so terrible. But she's like, I have a bear and they're not that I know. They just like come open, like they give you keys, but you don't even need the keys, you can bust right out of them. Well, have you ever done rope?

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Rope? Yeah, like rope, like used rope?

SPEAKER_06 30:56

Yeah. No, like be tied up with a rope.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

I haven't.

SPEAKER_06 31:00

Me neither. What's that like hog tie you?

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Oh my god, that's horrific.

SPEAKER_06 31:05

No, that's embarrassing. No, I would really feel like a hog.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Yeah. Yeah, no, that's too much for me. Would you rather have a partner who makes great money but is never home or is home but always broke?

SPEAKER_06 31:19

Never home makes great money. Yeah, same. Like I do get to see them sometimes, right? Oh, that would be hard. Because I feel like a part of me would be like, you know what, don't even bother working. Just stay home with me all the time.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

I don't know, but I mean shit.

SPEAKER_06 31:42

I don't know. That's hard. Yeah. But now I have like a lot to keep myself busy. Like when I come home from work, I could do my homework.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:51

And like work on the podcast and stuff. So I could keep myself really busy. Yeah. I guess. I don't know. That one's too hard.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Yeah, that's a tough one.

SPEAKER_06 32:01

Would you rather have a partner who loves dirty talk or a partner who wants to be quiet during sex?

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Partner who loves dirty talk.

SPEAKER_06 32:09

We do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

That's weird. To be completely quiet. And you just stare at each other.

SPEAKER_06 32:19

No moaning or anything.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Dead silence from both of you.

SPEAKER_06 32:23

I wonder if that's how my Barbie spell when that would be good fun.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Oh my god. You didn't make noises for them? Hell no. I didn't know how to. No, you know how to make the fuck but not make the make out.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Oh my god. Would you rather marry someone your family loves but you're unsure about, or someone you love but your family hates? I know my answer. What's your answer? Um someone my family loves but I'm unsure about. Because if you're with someone your family hates, that makes life miserable. Horrible.

SPEAKER_06 33:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:17

No. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_06 33:21

That's a hard one.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

I don't know. Because like if you're in sh if you're unsure but your family loves them, you know, I think your family would have your best interests. But like if you're unsure, you can always work on it. See.

SPEAKER_06 33:40

And then yeah. What if your family hates them for like no reason? What if they were like super like by the book? Like, oh, he's gotta look like this, he's gotta do this, he's gonna with this, no like no problems whatsoever. Because you know, some people can be like you tell them like maybe not something bad, but like they hear something and then they just have like this pre pre-notion thought then, right? You know what I mean? Right. So I would have to be dependent on the situation. Yeah, I don't know if that makes sense what I just said.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

No, it does. I yeah.

SPEAKER_06 34:17

I feel like I'm not answering this question. I don't know how to. I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah, I I see what you're saying.

SPEAKER_06 34:25

Would you rather always finish in one minute or never be able to finish?

SPEAKER_02 34:29

Finish in one minute. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 34:32

No, if you are a guy and you say that finish in one minute, yeah, that's a never be able to finish. That would suck. And I'm not a guy, so I don't have to worry about that. One con chump? Can you imagine that? Would you rather I just can't put on my hand? Would you rather have sex with a one con chump or someone that has to go for like six hours at a time?

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Oh god. Six hours? It'd be broken.

SPEAKER_06 35:04

Yeah, but you would get off like 85,000 million times.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

True.

SPEAKER_05 35:10

But yeah, that would hurt after a while.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

Yeah. That's a tough uh I mean that there's other ways. They're just a walk-up jump.

SPEAKER_05 35:20

There are sacred ways.

SPEAKER_06 35:24

I feel really good about myself. They were open jump.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Yeah, I know, right? Would you really have a partner very private or very public about your relationship?

SPEAKER_06 35:35

Private. Wait, as far as what? Like they never post you that private.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

Yeah, like very private. Like you don't you've never met any other family or friends, and like they don't post you on social media.

unknown 35:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:52

But then what if they're so public that they go on and they're like, Nina, she had a a conversation this day about our finances. We got so mad we started fist fighting each other.

SPEAKER_03 36:02

That would be pretty bad. Like that public?

SPEAKER_02 36:06

No, just like maybe not that public.

SPEAKER_05 36:12

But they're like okay.

SPEAKER_06 36:14

Yeah, public. Public. Yeah. Would you rather hook up an absolute silence or hook up with the same song playing on repeat?

SPEAKER_02 36:21

If I get to pick the song, and don't ask me what song because I don't know, but if I get to pick the song, um the song on repeat.

SPEAKER_06 36:29

Do you have any any idea what the song would be? Well, like silence, like you guys can still talk, there's just nothing going on in the back.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

So it's not complete silent.

SPEAKER_06 36:44

Like you can make noise. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

No, then silence.

SPEAKER_06 36:50

But your mom's listening. No. Oh my god. Alan? Alan, you're on the podcast. What's she saying to me?

SPEAKER_02 37:04

You're on the podcast at the moment we're recording.

SPEAKER_06 37:08

No, no, I want to be on the podcast. Okay, everybody, we have a special guest. Alan.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Would you rather date someone amazing in bed but emotionally unavailable? Or emotionally amazing but bad in bed?

SPEAKER_06 37:28

Great in bed.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

Really? Okay.

SPEAKER_06 37:32

I think that's a maturity thing though. Do you pick the other option?

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Um, I think so because if they're bad in bed, you can always work, you know, do your you love to fix people. I feel like if someone, if you're really into someone and they're not emotionally available, I don't know, fuck.

SPEAKER_06 37:56

Okay, pretend like I'm a guy that you're seeing and I'm terrible in bed. Tell me how you would approach that. Like practice, roleplay.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

I okay. If we're gonna be doing the dirty and you just suck, I would be like, wait, don't do that. Let's try it for a second.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

Wait, stop, not like that to the left, yeah, a little faster.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

But they're emotionally amazing, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:30

Yeah, I so I guess if they're emotionally amazing, they will be able to take that constructed criticism. Yeah, hopefully. But what if they're just insecure and then they never want to do sex again?

SPEAKER_01 38:41

No, let's see ya.

SPEAKER_06 38:45

Period. Would you rather have your toes sucked or try to stimulate a partner with your feet?

SPEAKER_02 38:51

My toes sucked.

SPEAKER_06 38:55

I've got to practice. What job? I know. Oh my god, that would kill my calves after a second. I feel like my feet would cramp up.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Your toes start like curling off funny. I look like I have arthritis in the toes. Oh my god. Would you rather fall fast and get hurt or never fall deeply at all?

SPEAKER_06 39:19

I thought you meant off a building.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

No, I'm like in a relationship, yeah. Fall fast and get hurt, or never fall deeply in love at all.

SPEAKER_06 39:30

Never, yeah, yeah, never. Then I wouldn't know what hurt is like. Exactly. Ignorance is bliss. No, uh so you want to be hurt? You want to be have your soul crushed? No, that would eat away at me.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

Yeah, never fall deeply at all.

SPEAKER_06 39:50

Yeah, easier. Would you rather show your porn search history to your best friend or your partner? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

Um probably my partner.

SPEAKER_02 40:07

You have a search history, yeah. Of course.

SPEAKER_06 40:10

No, wait, like search? Like a porn search. Like where you're searching porn? Yeah. Well, we'd be in it. What would you look up? I'm sorry, are you walking into your phone right now?

SPEAKER_03 40:29

Oh, you gonna look? No!

SPEAKER_06 40:31

Wayne.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

It's nothing like, you know, gross. It's like normal. Yeah. Vanilla?

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Yeah, vanilla. Okay. Plus, I don't watch porn like that. That much.

SPEAKER_06 40:52

Me and my friends used to watch it to laugh. Like old granny porn.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Ew. Oh my god. I've done that before with my friends. You watch porn? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:04

Like what kind? Was it like weird or it was like normal?

SPEAKER_02 41:07

It was like, oh my god. Like, you know, when when you were younger and people would like talk about certain porn and you'd look it up, like to watch it. Yeah.

unknown 41:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:19

So, like, give me an example of one that you watched.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

Oh god. Um, we used to look up like in this was with like guy friends, or you know, my girl. What my no, don't look at like a group of friends, guys and girls. I'm saying they'd look up like two girls, or like a fucking girl with like four guys.

SPEAKER_05 41:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

Or like taxicab confessions.

SPEAKER_06 41:53

Taxi cab. We should get um a black leather couch in here, a new casting couch.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

That'd be cute.

SPEAKER_06 42:04

What? Adorable. That would be so cute. Make our guests sit on the casting couch. Yeah. Look at pimps. Oh my god. Granny porn. That's so disgusting. Yeah, that's gross.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

Or like really fat people. Oh, like huge people. Yeah. Or like really hairy people. Oh. Ew. Ew.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Yeah, though.

SPEAKER_06 42:42

Oh my god. Would you rather only be able to make barnyard animal noises during sex or only be able to speak in a SpongeBob voice during sex?

SPEAKER_02 42:52

SpongeBob. Mm.

SPEAKER_06 42:58

Oink oink. Yeah. Yeah, SpongeBob. Somebody told me my laugh sounds like SpongeBob.

SPEAKER_04 43:06

No. Does it? I don't think so. Wanna play Spongebob laugh really quick? Here'll let me hear this. SpongeBob laughing for an hour is an option.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 43:27

Who said that? No. Somebody in high school. They told me my lap sounds like Spongebob.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

I'm not even close.

SPEAKER_06 43:33

That's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

They were fucking with you.

SPEAKER_06 43:37

What if they weren't?

SPEAKER_02 43:38

They were.

SPEAKER_06 43:39

Maybe you're just being nice. I gotta listen to it a little more time.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

No.

SPEAKER_06 43:52

I'm crying.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 43:55

Oh my god, that was fucking gold.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Would you rather date someone everyone else finds attractive or only Only you see the appeal.

SPEAKER_06 44:02

Only me see the appeal. Unless they're like dog shit. Yeah, like that's the thing. And then I probably won't see the appeal. Well, do you ever like have a crush and you show your friends and they're like, really? So then yeah, I think I'd rather just have somebody that not everybody thinks is attractive. Uh look at me not being vain. Yeah. I guess.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

When you make that face, it looks like it'd be the SpongeBob lab.

SPEAKER_06 44:44

I don't even know how to do it. I don't even want to draw in versus.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Blindfolded.

SPEAKER_06 44:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 44:56

I agree. I'd rather be blindfolded. Oh my god. Would you rather give a rim job or receive a rim job?

SPEAKER_02 45:04

Oh, receive.

SPEAKER_03 45:08

I am not putting my mouth near anything like that. Especially on a man. Men are disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

No. Um, would you rather run into your ex on a date or see your partner's ex on a date?

SPEAKER_06 45:31

Run into my ex on a date. A hundred percent. Not my partner's ex.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

No.

SPEAKER_06 45:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:37

God damn it. It's killing my ear.

SPEAKER_06 45:41

Would you rather have anal sex every day or a threesome every time you have sex? Oh.

SPEAKER_03 45:52

Oh my god. This one's easy.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

For you. Um I guess anal.

SPEAKER_06 46:05

If you say it like that.

SPEAKER_03 46:08

Yes, anal. No.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

I got I guess anal.

SPEAKER_06 46:16

But what if threesome was like two hot guys?

SPEAKER_02 46:19

Yeah, but every time. Am I in like a throppo with them? No.

SPEAKER_06 46:31

Really? Alright, I'm shocked that you said that.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

I don't wanna I don't know. I don't wanna have to deal with two at once every time.

SPEAKER_06 46:45

Yeah, but then they you can just be like a rotisserie chicken.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

I look like one too.

SPEAKER_03 46:57

Just smagging it, flipping it around like a piece of lemon pepper on you.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:03

Oh my god. Would you rather watch strangers have sex or have strangers watch you have sex? Watch strangers honestly, if I don't know them either. Or do you ever look at a couple and you're like, I kind of want to watch them have sex?

SPEAKER_02 47:20

No, I've looked at a couple and been like, I wonder how they have sex.

SPEAKER_06 47:25

Yeah, I get that too. Sometimes I see couples and I'm like, ugh, I want to watch them have sex.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

Yeah, yeah. Um, would you rather accidentally like your ex's photo or send them a drunk text?

SPEAKER_06 47:46

Accidentally like their photo. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_04 47:54

I think that's better.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:58

Oh my god. Will you rather give five blowjobs per day or have anal sex once every couple of months?

SPEAKER_02 48:05

Anal sex once every couple of months. Oh my god, who would say the ladder?

SPEAKER_03 48:12

Jesus Christ, lock jaw, five blowjobs a day. Good god.

SPEAKER_06 48:21

I feel like I would get really lazy and then I would have to get like those things that they use when you get your braces put on to claim your lock over.

SPEAKER_03 48:30

I just feel like go to town. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 48:38

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_03 48:39

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Would you rather see your boss on a dating app or your coworker? My co-worker. Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_06 48:48

Because if I see my boss on the dating app, yeah, for some reason I'm on a lesbian dating site because my boss is a woman.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

No, what if she's looking for a guy?

SPEAKER_06 48:58

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

Well, I'm a girl. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 49:02

Or if it says like okay, yeah, no, my co-worker for sure.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_06 49:09

You're gonna fucking die with this one. Oh god. Would you rather have sex with a goat and no one finds out or not have sex with a goat, but everyone thinks you did?

SPEAKER_02 49:21

And not have sex with a goat, everyone thinks I did. Oh my god. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 49:30

What is wrong with you? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 49:37

Oh my god, do you want to know when I heard on TikTok the other day?

SPEAKER_03 49:40

Uh probably not.

SPEAKER_06 49:41

Okay, well, they ask men, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. Would you rather be in between your parents and if you move forward, you go into your mom? Or if you move backward, your dad goes into you? What would you pick? Say it again. You're in the middle of your parents. Okay. You go forward and you're in your mom, or would you rather go backward and your dad's in you?

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Ew. Someone really posted that forward.

SPEAKER_03 50:06

You would go into your mom. Well, I don't have a dick. But if you did, oh god, I this is just no. No.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

No. Ew, someone really posted that?

SPEAKER_06 50:21

This guy then he was running up to random people in the supermarket asking questions. I think he also asked one like, if I kidnapped your mom, would you suck my dick to get her out?

SPEAKER_03 50:31

Oh my god!

SPEAKER_04 50:34

He's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

Ooh. Good lord.

SPEAKER_06 50:48

Would you rather drink a shot of semen or a shot of pea? A shot of semen.

SPEAKER_04 50:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Yeah. So there's ten. I've heard. I've heard that too. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 51:06

Oh my god. Would you rather come randomly in public for the rest of your life or never be able to come at all again?

SPEAKER_02 51:17

In public. Yeah, that was easy. Yeah. You're crazy. Would you rather have someone who only has like slow sex, like really slow? Or someone who just fucks really fast all the time. Like a bunny rabbit? Yeah, really fast all the time. Really fast all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Like sloth slow. Yeah, really fast. I don't know. I feel like that would feel good.

SPEAKER_06 51:51

Would you rather date somebody with a micro penis or somebody with a huge OG mud bonecock?

SPEAKER_02 51:58

Uh huge.

SPEAKER_06 52:02

Look terrifyingly huge.

SPEAKER_02 52:04

How long you can just use the tip. You sound like Jason.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

No, like girl, come on. Oh that's horrible. That's weird.

SPEAKER_06 52:15

But they can get like those, like a penis pump. And how long will that take? Or they can wear like a strap on. Or get a penis enlargement surgery. Do they do that? Maybe. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, a lot of these are good for like guys because this one says, would you rather have missionary sex with someone who has horrible breath or doggy sale sex with someone who forgot to wipe their butt after going number two?

SPEAKER_02 52:46

Ew. If I was a guy, I think I would rather do the bad breath. Because they can just turn their head.

SPEAKER_06 52:55

Yeah, but that's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_02 52:57

So is not wiping your ass. Yeah, but you can just like walk away. And you're getting like a whiff of shit every time you bump.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 53:10

Would you rather always finish blowjobs with cum in mouth or facial?

SPEAKER_04 53:16

Facial.

SPEAKER_06 53:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:23

I love how yours are very like classy and mine are just like dirty, dry anal or micropenis. Oh god. Oh my god, this one says would you rather give a blowjob to a micro penis or a dick so big that it maxes your mouth opening capability? Oh Jesus. Micro penis. Yeah. That's easy. You just have to.

SPEAKER_03 53:56

You could just like tackle your tongue. That's small. That's tiny.

SPEAKER_00 54:03

Did you see the god, do I want that?

SPEAKER_02 54:11

There's a guy on Facebook or Instagram or something, and it's an article. And he is the guy that has the world's smallest penis. Why would you publicly admit that? That's what I'm saying. But it's literally micro. It's like two inches. That's horrible. God messed up somewhere along the line when they made him. That's really sad. Yeah. And he like taught he like openly talks about it.

SPEAKER_06 54:42

I would never either. I would take my own.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

And how hard is for him to find a relationship and all of this.

SPEAKER_06 54:51

Did he think coming out about it was gonna be easier?

SPEAKER_02 54:54

Uh maybe.

SPEAKER_06 54:55

Oh. Or the guy that has the world's biggest national wiener, he looks like a goofball. Really? And I don't he also said it's hard to find love because the wiener's too big. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Would you rather every time you orgasm shout I love you, mom, or shout, long live the queen while saluting the queen. And you have to salute at the same time. Long live the queen. Would you rather have explosive diarrhea on your partner during sex or be the one who gets pooped on? Oh fuck. I'd rather be pooped on. Yeah. Explosive diarrhea on the other person? It's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

Yeah, but I do not want anyone else to shit near me. Yeah, but it's like just on your stomach. Really? Why would they shit on my stomach? What would we be doing? For them to shit on my stomach.

SPEAKER_06 56:02

Freaky ass shit. What if they're like you're in like 69 and he's on the top, right?

SPEAKER_03 56:09

Oh then that'd be right by your face. Yeah, but then he like it's like, oh, I'm just gonna be just down. No.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

I would rather sh I would rather oh my god, I'm crying the other.

SPEAKER_06 56:26

You'd rather shit on somebody? Explosive diarrhea on it. Oh my god. Yeah. Oh my god. Would you rather have penises for fingers or a vulva for a mouth? Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 56:47

If I had penises for fingers, I would just be walking around sticking in my fingers. I'd have I'd have I'd I would just do you know how many women would be like, yes, please? I don't know. You would be like a hot commodity. Yeah. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:10

All right, honestly, fuck yeah. Penises for fingers.

SPEAKER_03 57:13

And be like, here I gotta show you something.

SPEAKER_06 57:16

Huge cock on your fingers.

SPEAKER_02 57:20

Would you rather your ex date your friend or your ex date someone who looks exactly like you?

SPEAKER_06 57:25

Exactly like me. Easy. Do you prefer testicles that are abnormally small or abnormally large?

SPEAKER_00 57:34

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 57:36

Large. Really? Yeah. Small? They just have like this like decent looking wiener, and then there's like two Cadbury eggs right there. The mini ones, not the ones with the cream in the middle.

SPEAKER_03 57:50

I think small. Really? Yeah. I don't want some the little jelly beans. They get jelly beans. Little jelly bean balls? I don't want, I don't know. You heard it here, folks. She loves tiny balls. I mean jelly beans? I don't know. Oh my god. Would you rather have drunk sex or high sex? Uh drunk. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 58:21

Would you rather give up penetrative sex or oral sex?

SPEAKER_00 58:26

Ooh. Um oral.

SPEAKER_06 58:30

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 58:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:02

Would you rather go on a terrible date every weekend or stay single for a year?

SPEAKER_06 59:10

Stay single for a year.

SPEAKER_02 59:12

Yeah, I agree. Would you rather relive your worst breakup ever or your worst date ever?

SPEAKER_06 59:24

Relive my worst date.

SPEAKER_01 59:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:27

Because at least I know it's gonna be over. And then you won't think too much about it after, hopefully.

SPEAKER_00 59:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:35

Everybody, thank you for tuning in with us. This was a really fun episode.

SPEAKER_02 59:41

Very dirty.

SPEAKER_06 59:42

If you have some Woody Brothers that you guys want us to like answer.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

Yeah, you can actually now uh send us private messages under Buzzground.

SPEAKER_06 59:50

Yes, and you can comment on Spotify. And I don't think you can comment on Apple Podcasts, but we have TikTok and Instagram, so if you guys want to reach out there, you can. And please don't forget to listen to episode one, two, and three if you haven't already.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

And follow us on TikTok and Instagram.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:06

Period. Bye. Bye. Just a reminder this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed therapists, dating coaches, or role models. We're just two coworkers, microphones and opinions.