Episode 11: The Sequel Nobody Asked For: More Icks

Unfortunately… we’re back with MORE icks. From oddly specific habits to crimes against humanity-level behavior, we’re exposing the tiny things that instantly make someone unattractive. Some are valid. Some are absolutely insane. All of them will make you rethink your entire personality

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everybody, this is Jess. And this is Ashi. Welcome to episode 11. Woo-hoop. So we're gonna do uh ick part two. We thought of way more.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

We have so many ickes, it's gonna be in one episode. For real.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Okay, you wanna start us off, baby?

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Yes. Okay, my first one is hospital bracelets. And you know those people that will post they'll post like their fucking hospital bracelet, but like nobody asks me what's wrong.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Yeah, why are you even posting? It's like a selfie of them in a hospital bed. It's like, don't ask me, just don't ask me what happened.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

It's so OD. And then oh my god, or like wearing them like in public.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Yeah, oh, are you okay? Or speaking of like social media, like another one for me is when like I'll I hate Facebook, but I'll go on once in a while, and uh I'll see like these dudes that like post about like fuck so and so. If I see you, I'm gonna fight you. And I'm like, dude, come on, it's so it's it skews me out like really bad. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Or the guys that call out their fucking ex-girlfriend, like this one guy. That was my next one, and he uh they haven't been dating for a while now, and he'll like he made a slideshow of her.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

It's like I loved you so much, and then hashtags her full government. I'm like, oh my god, I got it. I'm assuming she blocked him because he couldn't tag her in it, but right. I'm like, oh my god, that's so cringy. Yeah, I don't like that. Oh my god, it freaks me out.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Um okay, so one for me is this is gonna go to a sexual, sexual idea.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Oh, we're all about that.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Yeah, we are men who receive but don't give.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Ew. That's giving selfish.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Listen gay. If you do not like to eat, pussy, cringe, cringe, I don't like it, freaks me out. But if you're like, yeah, I'll take some head.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

No, what if somebody was like I don't like the texture? A guy not liking a texture freaks me out. Like what I have one on here that's like a really piggy eater.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Yeah, yeah, I know, seriously.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Oh like, oh my god, that's so cringe.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

But I yeah, if you only expect and you don't give, I that's just selfish as well. It's so selfish and it freaks me out.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Yay, okay. One that I have is somebody who sends a question mark if you don't answer fast enough on text. Like questions, question mark, question mark. Ew, give me a second.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

So I yeah, I mean it depends on how quick that is. If it's like immediately, like within like a minute or two, then yeah, it's like hold the fuck up. I know, but if it's like after a little bit, that doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

But even just question mark, like just a question mark, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

It doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

Not like a hello, are you fucking there, bitch?

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Like, dumb bitch. Oh god, that's cringy to me. Okay, I have another sex one. Oh fuck yeah. Men who just lay there during sex, like if there's no like moaning or like you know, yeah, but then again, he's star pitched, he's the pillow princess. Does that mean like I suck? No, it's never happened to me, but I'm just saying it would freak me out. Like, if you're just like laying there and you're like trying to talk or like you know, get into it and just like star finish out on the bed.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

He's like making like weird constipated faces or oh my god, yeah, that's fucking cringe. Like, yeah, don't even put yourself out there to do coitus because you're embarrassment, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Um men that only like one position too.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Like, what would be the worst one that they could pick for you?

SPEAKER_00 4:47

I don't think there's a worse one, but like if it's only one. That's boring, yeah. Like if they only ever want to do just like missionary, or like only cowgirl, or only from the back, you know, just one.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Yeah. That would that's boring. Yeah, or that's like the ones that don't adventure with it, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Like slip a finger in, yeah, you know what I mean? Put a pinky in the butt.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Smell my finger. Stings your fucking finger.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

I would die. I would fucking die. I would lose my ever-living shit if that ever happened to me. I'd throat punch him and get him fucking lay him out on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Ew. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

That is nasty.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Could you imagine? He's like cutting it from the back, he does that, and then he just reaches around like fish hooks, yeah. Ghost owners. I don't think I would ever admit that that happened to me.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Don't take that to the grave. I would have to take that to the fucking grave.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Actually, I would probably like be like giggling. I'd be like, oh, I have to tell you something. You'd come in and tell me. So actually, this happened. Oh my god. Ew. Oh my god, that's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

Oh god, that's so gross. Take it off. Or like oh that's cute. Like that. Yeah, half naked is on your boobs. It's hot in here. It is kind of hot in here. Like, yeah. I always am used to being so cold in our other our old room, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Um, or if they don't talk or make any sounds in their mouth, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Like dirt sexy means, yeah. That's what I mean. Like if they just like lay there and they don't like moan or like do anything. Even our present, really. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Like, what do you do just staring into each other's eyes?

SPEAKER_00 7:04

That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Just like, yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Please. Yeah. I'm going to come.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

I'm going to come now. There we've been in the MBI. Could you imagine? That's never happened either, but like using like catchphrases when they're about to finish.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

That's what she said the other day.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

I was trying to give her an ick about this guy. And just like giving scenarios of what could happen.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

It's gonna work. No, it didn't.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

What's another good one that they could say?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Blast off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

Blast off.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

I wonder if like men have aches about women like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

We need to get like somebody in a interview.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Yeah, like play them out. If a guy's like, you know, the same thing, like about women, like you know, like yeah. I wonder, yeah, yeah. I wanna I wanna like ask a guy.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Oh my god, if we asked Jason, he would have a list. We'd be here for like four hours. Oh god, he'd be like, they can't have a wobbly eye, they can't have no husband. That's dead.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Oh, they can't, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Oh my god, another egg, guys that find fault and anybody they talk to, even if it's like the little thing.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Yeah, don't do that. That's so cringe. He said something to me the other day, by the way. He's like, I heard you guys uh mention to me. I go, who said that? He was, I don't know if someone told me that.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

I'm like, he's like the same thing, he comes in all sly. He's like, just like looking at the round, he goes, So pretty guys are talking about me on your podcast. I'm like, guess you'll have to listen to find out.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

I know that's what I told him. I go, maybe you should just listen.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

And then I was like, Oh, who said that? And he goes, Somebody, my okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Another ick, don't ask us about the podcast, and they'd be like, Well, I have to download it.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

Ooh, or don't come in and ask us about our podcast if you don't fucking listen to it.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Yeah, like I go, it's free, just download Spotify.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

You know what's so funny? When we were talking about doing this, wasn't he like kind of all for it? Or like, oh yeah, that would be good or something.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Yeah, and now he's like no, because at first he was like not for it. He's like, Yeah, okay. And then he's like, Yeah, you guys should.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Oh yeah, because I stopped talking about like yeah, because he was doubting us, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

He was 100%.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Oh my god, is that biggest hater? He is, he hates women, he's gay. He is gay. Sorry, sorry, Juice. You're gay, but we love you. My gay dar is flying off the handball. Do I have one if I'm not gay?

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

You can have a gay dar if you're not gay.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah, of course. And then we're gay for each other, so I guess that counts. Yeah, that's true. We're pretty fucking gay. Oh my god. Okay, your turn.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Okay. Guys that think they give off big dick energy, but they don't.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

So when we were going to the gym, there was this one guy, and uh, he he was like huge, he was like tall, he was like not like super jacked, but he wasn't like fat, but he was weird in between. And he used to wear these like cut-off shirts, and he would just like if he would go to a machine, take it and fucking chuck his draw, his drawstring bag, yeah, just chuck it, and I'm like, and then he would like to carry around a gallon of water.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Oh I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_02 10:43

And then he would do a machine for like two minutes, and then he would walk away and do the same thing somewhere else. I'm like, I think you're giving up, like you're so mysterious, and you have huge dick energy, and you I'm just scream scared. Small, small penis. I'm like, oh, I'm trying to think of another thing that gives off big dick energy, like a situation I've had where guys think they do and they don't. Oh, yes, I was in class one time and this guy comes in and he was in my class, my psychology class, and he walks in and hands the teacher, he was like 15 minutes late, hands the teacher his homework. Then he walks out, she goes, You're not gonna save the class. He goes, Why the fuck would I do that? And walked out.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Mind you. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

The first, the first class we had ever, he was wearing this, like oh my god, he was like he was so cringe, he was like short. He wore a leather jacket and then um converse and like not like baggy jeans, but like straight jeans. And he we were talking about cigarettes, and like I have no idea. He goes, I love smoking. She goes, like weed, and she he goes, No, cigarettes. I love cigarettes so much, and he just thought he was so cool, and he would like make like little comments and think he was so funny, and he and these like cringe girls on the side would like laugh, and I'm like sitting there and like like this is my face the whole time. I'm like, ew, it was just cringe disrespectful, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

He literally walked in and said, Why the fuck would I do that? Turn around and walked out.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

That side at the front of the class was like, You're so fucking rude, like that. And then uh she's like, It's okay, like you don't have to do that. She goes, No, I would fail his ass. I'm like, oh my god. The drama, the lore behind that fucking what's he going to school for? I don't know, but he might as well just put himself in prison. I have no idea. Probably something stupid. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

People are fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Their mouths are wild, and he thought he was just so cool doing it. The way he walked, he like, you know, you know those like 80 movies where like the jogs would walk like so weird.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Like that's what that reminded me of when you said he wore a leather jacket. It reminded me of um the fuck is that movie? Um oh my god. Oh my god. Um Greece? Yes, thank you. I could not think of it.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Um he I would just cringe so fucking yeah, that's what that reminded me of. And then he whenever she would do like not like presentations, but like she like a demonstration, he would always volunteer for it. I'm like, can you sit the fuck down? And then he doesn't need a staple glass. It doesn't even say I'm like, you're so rude. That was so cool, and you're just like a fucking.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

I just remembered a dream. Sorry, I'm like fucking 80 right over here. I just remembered a dream I had. I had this dream that I bought this new purse and it was really cute brown with this really pretty bow on it. That's cute. It was so cute in my dream. Sorry, I didn't tell you that.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

That's okay, baby.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

That was funny. Um the word chub.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Don't ever say like he's like half chub. I didn't make that word.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Don't ever say the word chub.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Chubbed up. Like chubb isn't chubby or like no.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Yeah, penis way. I have a chubb.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

I'm all bricked up.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Yeah, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Contrary to popular belief, I do not have a penis.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Don't ever say the word chub. Chubbed up.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

I love that one. What if he was like chubbed?

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Yeah. That's fucking hilarious. Don't ever say that. This just sends me. Chubbed. I can't wait to use it tomorrow. Chubb, I don't like it. Such a gross chubbed. Just say I I I have heart honor, I'm hard. Ew.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Really? I have a woody.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

No. Oh, I want to know if you could hear that call.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

That was a good one. That's a really good one. I like door chub. Comment if you like the word chub. Comment if you're chubbed up right now listening to us.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

We get so many comments. Or we're just choved up.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

I had a chub right now.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Fuck yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Okay. Okay, guys that I think their cars are their babies. And what I mean by that is like they take pictures of it and that's all that you see on their social medias. Just their fucking pictures.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Just their cars. Just their pictures.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Just their cars. Yeah. Uh-huh. And you're like, are so delicate with it. Like they'll fucking beat it to shit on the road, but then they'll like wipe it nice.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Or they like won't let you like even sit in it or like touch it.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Ew, that's cringe. And a lot of them are like trucks that look like they need to go to the like I'm scrap your arms.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah. I'm all for like the guy being into cars. But like, you know, when it's like, this is Rhonda. This is my baby Rhonda.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

And then it's their cover photo.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

And you're like five feet from it, and they're like, don't get near it. Don't touch it.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Or they park all the way at the end of the fucking parking lot so that nobody scrapes it.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah. Although when I get like a new car, I don't park at the end, but I'll park in certain spots. I do that at my apartment. I'll park in like certain spots because you know it's a new car. I'm like, who wants to scratch? But like these guys that like I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Maybe it you know what I did during the winter?

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

I was trying to scrape snow off the car and I used the fucking snow shovel and I scratched up my hood. Are you serious? There's a huge scratch. I'm like, what the fuck is a scratch room? It's for me. You know I have a snowbrush. Good lord. At the time I did not. So my shovel. She's got like a big ass metal shovel. Oh my god. I was like trying to scrape it off. Oh, but in my car. Oh my god. I'm so tight B when it comes to those things, like cars.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Well, some people just don't give a fuck. Except when I need an oil change, I'm like. Oh, like I'm paranoid. It's gonna blow up as I can get. For real.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Scary world out there.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Um, yeah, I know. Chewing with your mouth open.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

I think we discussed that one all the time.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Did we?

SPEAKER_02 17:39

I'm kind of notorious for that, especially if I'm chewing gum.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Okay, gum is different. I do that. I'm doing that right now.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

I like it. But like chewing with it.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Gum is different, but like yeah, when you're like eating food. Well, I mean, we did discuss eating a donut with cream filling.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Oh my god, but his mouth wasn't even open. It was like closed and I could still hear like yeah, but he eats weird. It was like that. I'm like, oh literally. I was already on one. I'm like, do you think you have to do that in here? I know. Like, can you do it in a like your own full of space? Seriously. Oh my god, it was horrible. Or like, I just thought of this one, it wasn't on my list, but like when guys just burp out in the open. Alright, that's bothered me because I burp. No, like belch. I do that at work. Okay. It's so bad.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

It's like yeah, it's really bad. I mean, I I burp. I do. I definitely am a burper. I don't burp or fart. And some of them are loud burp. I don't sneeze. Oh my god, you're just a I don't pee.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

I don't poop.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

I'm perfect. And just evaporates out of your body.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

I don't sweat.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Through your pores.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

The only thing I can do is cum.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

The only thing my body knows how to do is cum. Oh my god. That's how she gets it out, folks. You heard it your first.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

Yeah, it's just like all mix of everything.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Oh my god. Could you imagine? Oh my god. Oh my god. I swear to god, you make me gag at least once on every episode. Is that a good thing? I mean, no.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

I mean, fuck no. Um, okay.

unknown 19:45

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

This is like, doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, but like if you're texting on your phone. Can you hear me? Like, do you see how it's like not even going anywhere?

SPEAKER_00 19:55

It does that sometimes though.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

Okay, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

You know.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Like if they're holding your phone in one hand and text with their pointer finger. Like my mom does that.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Oh, so like holding it like this and then going to this, boop, boop, boop.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Or typing on a keyboard.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Yeah.

unknown 20:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

I don't even have to look at the keyboard when I'm typing.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Just like I know. You're always. I usually don't. It depends on what it is, but for the most part.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Unless it's like I get classica! I'm gonna pull it just up. She's a gagger, everybody. Jesus! I just said it wasn't it. That wasn't on purpose, probably.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Oh my god. That was fucking amazing.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

That was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

You slew. You slew. Oh my god, that's fucking hilarious. I'm sorry, that was so funny. I meant for you. It was perfect timing. Alright, not wearing socks with shoes.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Um you know, I saw this one too, but it was only dress shoes. As a man, you should be wearing socks.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Yeah. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Like, please put some socks on. I can't even wear shoes without socks.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

I can't either. And I don't like it even ske it like actually skeeves me out. Like, I'll even like get skeeved out with the girls if they go to put shoes on. I'm like, ew. They don't do it a lot. Yeah. But like once in a while, like she'll throw like my uggs on. My ug slippers, I don't wear socks with. I have to, even those little like footsie ones.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Yeah, no, I saw them poking out the other day. I was gonna say something. I'm like, I'm gonna let her have it. That's an egg. If I can see your no shows, I just have them in my staring at your feet. My name is literally no show. So no show off shake that ever again, please.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Oh my god. That's so humbling.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

No, sometimes okay I'm notorious for this too because there I had like a pair of no shows and they're like pink with hearts on them and they're like a little bit longer on the top so like sometimes you can see it but yeah. Do you hear not shows up or fling off the back of your feet?

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Yeah my my heels yeah oh my god that's so fucking funny yeah why do you have to wear those with other slippers because I don't like my feet sweaty like that. Your feet don't sweat in socks no no not really and if they do like I don't know I feel like plus not to mention your shoes fucking reek if you don't wear socks.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Yeah they fucking stink like my outfits that I have I never wear socks with them unless I'm wearing like bag like boot cup not boot cup like you know not like leggings. Yeah I'll wear socks with those but sometimes I don't wear socks with them they kind of stink if I'm gonna be honest. Yeah but like with anything else I have to wear socks. Yeah I do too except for like sandals obviously well yeah do you imagine me pulling up in like flip-flops and I just got these fucking tube socks on my you know do you remember they used to make the socks that went in your toes oh my god I had to of course I mean I did too when I was younger but yeah they had pangles on them and up at the top there was like a fur cuff. Oh my god yeah I didn't want to wear them in public I actually probably wore them all at once yeah I I didn't like them I didn't like how they made my feet feel like my toes you know what I had on your what so my mom always used to make us go hiking with her friend from college and their kids yeah so I was like I want a pair of those toe shoes oh my god you had a pair oh my gosh how embarrassing yeah but were they comfy I heard they're really comfortable they are but they're ugly to look at they are and then I was fucking wearing shorts like down to my knee. I got a picture oh fucking yellow t-shirt that could be a few sizes up honestly it was horrible I just read something about a girl who went on a date with a guy and she's like shopping toe shoes no but he had like these long cargo shorts on and a bright yellow shirt made me think of you made me think of me oh you just said that oh my god that's funny yeah I was just so humbling what about men and caprice ew my house or oh my god like when you see bikers and they're wearing like those leggings or biker shorts men and bikes when I worked at the grocery store this my brother wears those sorry sorry for his wife um there used to be this guy and I he would drive so I don't know why he would wear these but he would wear these gray biker shorts and you I mean he wasn't well endowed yeah but I'm like oh why are you just holding up in those and then he would sit at the customer service house for like 15 minutes I'm like get away from me with those where was this when I was working at the grocery store oh my god it's fucking funny it's a nightmare people who wear a mask in the car by themselves or out in fresh air yeah that's stupid as fuck my neighbor does that really yeah literally he walks outside every day and wears a mask by himself or drives in the car every time I see him he has a mask on he probably fucking sleeps with it eats with it has sex with it oh my god can you remember aspirate probably oh my god um I when we were supposed to be wearing masks I wasn't even good at wearing masks it would be under my nose oh yeah swinging from one ear yeah I fucking hated it I I'll never do it again I only had to when I worked in medical but oh my god yeah but don't do that don't ever do that I woke you think the mass for the loadie the what mass for the loadie yeah 100% and then what it just goes away I know like that's weird that's a whole conspiracy theory that's that's a next one with the COVID 19 yeah like it it's killed people like that I know like um a friend in priest his dad died from COVID but like we're I don't know I just think it was yeah anyway that's the topic for another time literally we're on the same page there it's my turn yeah okay um guys that are newly into religion and have like their bio was like what is it called like a s like what are those paragraphs called and they're like da da jeremiah one dot dot one oh yeah what are those calls psalms is that what it is like a psalm from like an like a quote or an excerpt yeah yeah that's cringe or they're like I don't they just like openly post that they're like about Jesus Christ now yeah that cringes out that cringes me out why like you just like one day picked up yeah love religion yeah it's all about you now it's all about you that's your whole personality I mean I agree with that being the whole personality I agree with that but I don't know it's just if someone finds Jesus good for them I just don't like it being all up yeah like all in your face about it all their captions on their photos are one of those yeah or they get them okay like the tattoos fine whatever some of them are yeah some of them are actually but like I don't know that's just yeah why are you doing all that now in your old age maybe they're a recovering drug addict or maybe they okay I'm gonna bring up like a there was this girl in school and she her family was really religious and this guy liked her and he all of a sudden started going over church was so yeah like he was like some people do that they convert like if they you know yeah really like doing all that for what but yeah I don't know it's just how do I explain this I don't know maybe like if it ever hits you like that you'll understand yeah you know they like post that I'm reading the Bible like come on yeah come on yeah I hear you I'm not the antichrist sometimes but like sometimes sometimes I am uh I don't know um guys that use like personal things against you like when you open up to someone that you might be talking to and then they slam it in your face and they after yeah and they throw it in your face after that sends me into outer space yeah I cannot fucking stand that shit. Yeah because I don't really open up very often to a lot of people I've made that mistake a few times. And if I do and you throw it in my face I will kill you with a gun yeah or if something happens doesn't matter if it's a man woman dog fish cat if something has happened in their life and then every time they're like doing something like you call them out for doing something they use that as an excuse. Um yeah I know I know I know that feeling yeah like oh my god stop stop doing too much like because your fish died when you were seven months old 12 since I can do a recent now for the job so canceled yeah one for me is guys that get a new girlfriend every five minutes and then post them and it's already saying I love you.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah like uh or like this is my this I I'm seeing someone this is my girlfriend and like they're like having their kids meet them and five minutes later they're not together or like they're they get into a new relationship and they're posting and then they break up and they post about the breakup and then they get into another new relationship it's like stop just you like how do you even know that you genuinely like that person if you were talking for one second and then you're the next all of five minutes yeah it's it's so annoying that is really annoying and also we can't keep up yeah and also why don't you take some time for yourself yeah and also your day I think that I think that's important. Take some time for yourself or or I hate when men do this on like social media but like I'll never find anybody you know oh my god the dating pool is just so hard out there how about stop looking for it yeah because if you stop looking for it that's when it comes for real and also if you're posting that who the fuck is gonna want to reach out to you yeah I like Jessica pretend I'm a man oh women are such bitches I can't find anybody that loves me for me scroll exactly scroll exactly seriously when I go on social like social media like Facebook and I see that or you know like a guy who's constantly bad mouthing like their ex or their baby mom or whatever and it's like oh my god it's like why would you even want to get involved yeah or like you said posting like pictures of and just calling out it's like don't do that it's so mature I don't like that I don't like that me either it's just sends me it's like ew that's so cringy to be like your relationship isn't real because you guys just met each other I know I don't I don't like that okay men that only use Snapchat as communication oh my god that are older than fucking 23 even at 23 you're just trying really hard to be a fuck boy Snapchat yeah like I'm I'm cool with Snapchat like I use it you know and I'll post on it and like send pictures video you know like back and forth the inter whatever I'm not against Snapchat but if that's the only means of communication that you like to talk to somebody you're just a fuck boy that's giving you forgot to pay your phone bill and you can only use Snapchat on that's giving I don't know like I use Snapchat too like I have group chats on Snapchat stories whatever but if it's literally your only communication line yeah fuck no no I agree that's cringe unless it is what's the point because after a while when you don't have anything to talk about and then they just send you a random picture of something and you're like cool hey thank you heart reaction like don't even bother at that point no I think it's not a reaction like obviously if you are if you're friends with somebody on Snapchat and you don't have their number or why are you looking at me like that you don't have their number but you're friends on Snapchat yeah okay yeah then that's okay but like yeah but like if you're like actively talking to them yeah no no I agree I agree um people who lie about like health issues or like our hypochondrics oh my god I have such a good one when I was like freshly graduated high school right this guy was like hitting me up and I he was like but I was like eh whatever I mean I'm like all right fuck it we ball and then one day he goes I'm having liver failure I'm probably not gonna make it and never heard from him ever again he was totally fine oh my god I had someone lie to me and say they had cancer once oh my god so many people in high school used to and then also that they broke their back because he got his back blown out by another man gay oh my god um yeah I don't like that at all I don't like that yeah hypochondriacs yeah like I just I it it it's like it's like I have a scratch on my finger oh my god I'm gonna go sepsis oh my god my finger like okay I don't like that like don't be a hypochondriac I have worried failure I'm not gonna make it never heard from him again okay honestly period oh my god that's horrible that's hilarious that's horrible that's stupid you couldn't have pegged a better one i know you get him on like your fucking fat and ugly by honesty period yeah thanks thanks thanks oh your turn okay this is an emoji one guys that use the monkey emoji like the covering the eyes one or they're like show me something covering eyes monkey emoji i'm sorry that's disgusting we have the face one the face one is fine but the monkey one ew the monkey you know the one yeah like the monkey if you're a man please don't use the emoji ever i don't think anyone's ever done that to me so I'm okay you want me to do it to you right now you're different you can send me anything baby that's hilarious um guys that piss on the toilet or the floor don't clean it hmm yeah right like clean up after yourself yeah that's a mirror I just I don't know like men that even if you're in a relationship or single that are just like not clean and don't give a fuck yeah like I get it you know even if you're single it's like a bachelor pad whatever but if you're pissing and you like pee on the toilet and you don't clean up after that it's fucking gross.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Yeah because then it gets sticky and there's like a smile yeah it's like just don't be dirty don't be that kind of dirty yeah that is dirty it's fucking gross how about streak marks in a toilet ew my dub okay scenario you go into a guy's place uh he's got like a thing of soap by his sink except it's like so he like put water in it it's just like water with a little bit of bubbles as a soap now what that means he's not washing his hands properly especially after you take a shit oh like water down soap okay those are a dollar at the dollar store yeah literally or you know I went to my friend this my friend was talking to this guy one time and I asked and I went with her to like whatever we were in his area and I was like can I please clean your kitchen and I did his dishes he had a fucking tub of fermented pancake mix and it smelled like toe gunk disgusting I had to throw the whole thing away I'm like there's no way I can clean this yeah it's oh my god it's fucking gross oh my god it was really gross he goes I want to make pancakes and I forgot for days yeah for a month because sometimes like if I make pancakes and I have like a little bit left yeah he'll say that no oh if I just no I'll just like leave it by the sink and like I'll get to a little oh yeah today or whatever scrum me and um I it doesn't even smell like how long was it sitting there for it to be it was so bad so bad I could have died I'm like we gotta go because that was disgusting it's like yeast yeah and it you know what I mean and that yeast smell when you let that sit it's fucking disgusting that makes me want a really fucking fat pancake right now that's all good hawking logies I fucking violating oh my god I'm telling you right now that shit is so fucking disgusting I oh my god this shit makes me gag it's yeah that's so disgusting or even the sound to get the loogie like I don't stop it's so bad that is fucking oh my god it fucking I will I will never oh my god do you think that when men are socially awkward that's a nick yeah that's as a grown man yeah fuck the fuck up yeah when they're just like so awkward because we're we're I don't know maybe it's because we're just so out of pocket I know and like we just say the craziest shit to literally anybody and we're fucking hilarious so maybe that's why we feel that way maybe we're intimidating remember when I said like that's yeah it's not an intimidation thing but when like you're talking to somebody that's so out of pocket I guess that could be intimidating sex actually I'm kidding you're a pussy we have a vagina you have a vagina yeah but seriously like or men that like um if you like flirt with them and they're just so awkward about it like he he he's if a man goes he he he to me absolutely not but like a man I don't know when there's something super attractive about a guy that can like go back and forth with you.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

Yeah it's fucking hot yeah that is nice you know who like knows what to say and how to say it it's just like how to say it should have been a video on it should have but yeah I don't I don't like that like if they're just like yeah lol or you know that would send me lol Jessica sent me lol last night you know when I did to our center like eight of them in a row do you remember that you're like lol I'm like I'm like no somebody sold your car lol lol lol lol and that just sent me through the room oh my god but yeah oh my god yeah there really is something cringy about that yeah it is men that are just super awkward like can't have a conversation or like they're just so awkward like or like they don't match your energy but then you have to be careful too because like you never know what offends them yeah true but I don't know yeah I don't I don't know I don't I don't like to admit you know what I have to do when I'm talking to somebody I have to ask them beforehand are you easily offended yeah I I have to it's a serious morning I know I know yeah that's probably smart saves my ass make them sign a documentation that's suspect they can't report me fucking cease and desist and DA um littering oh my god I have that on my list I fucking hate littering I have to simply stop and go pick up what they threw out the window I was fucking with it I was giving a friend of mine a ride home one day and he fucking went to throw something out the window I said don't you fucking dare he's like what I'm like no no he would do that too yeah I know man it really like I it seriously that irks the fuck off it pisses me the fuck off so bad and those are the first for people to be like oh my god it's so dirty over here I know seriously like where I live one night I was walking the dog and I normally when it's like really dark out I won't go in the back because there's no lighting over there by like the dumpster. Oh yeah so I won't go back there and I can't remember why for whatever reason I did kind of go around there and it was dark out and there was a car and uh I don't even think they live there and they were acting really fucking weird. They pull around past they literally pass the dumpster pull up and then they throw a fucking brown paper bag filled with fucking food and trash out the window.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

And I'm like are you fucking serious? The dumpster's right there like it it just if you fucking litter you're nasty.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

One time I was getting out of the car and it was like really windy and a receipt flew out of my car I chased that thing down. Yes I Morally could not let it be. I know. I even though it's paper and it's like biodegradable. Yeah, and it could go pretty fast, but like still.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

I just I'm the same person that fucking if you I don't buy soda, but you know, if you ever buy those plastic, yeah, I clip those because oh my god, it's so fucking bad.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

Even like cigarette buttons.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

Yeah, I used to smoke and I I mean, you know, I definitely would if I was driving, throw them out the window, but it got to a point like where I was like, eh, I can't even I can't even do this. Like I can't just like I would put it out and put it not in my car, but if I was somewhere, I would put it out and then throw it in the garbage.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

For somebody who's so holistic who smoke cigarettes. I did like that one makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

I know. Well, I don't want more, and that's all that counts. What?

SPEAKER_02 44:50

I love a good bogey here and there. Good bogey. It smells good. I love walking behind a smoker.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

Really?

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Fuck yeah. I love the smell of cigarette smoke. Not when it's tailing on your boat.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

Yeah, when someone's actually yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 45:04

Oh my god, some I'm gonna sit in a car like 10 smokers and just have them fucking teach me in there.

SPEAKER_00 45:10

That's a lot, and then you're gonna smell disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

Yeah, I'm so glad I quit smoking. Yeah, but even when I just speak like a fucking chimney.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

The cigarette butts have that like um filter thing, yeah. The filter thing, and that's like plastic.

SPEAKER_00 45:29

Yeah, that's fucking gross, dude. That's why you shouldn't throw them out. Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Yeah, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

If I knew where every cigarette butt was that I ever threw, I'd go pick them up.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

We can go on adventure. Okay, we'll vlog it.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

We have to find babysitters. Oh hurrah, cigarette buttons for a month. We just leave for a month and we document us going around the the whole town just picking up my cigarette buttons.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

Sorry, we need PTO. It's gonna take a little yeah, seriously.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

Oh my god, I'd have a sack like Santa. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 46:01

It's just me with the camera.

SPEAKER_00 46:07

Uh well, since we both have littering, but I said it, you go.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

Okay. Um people that post on social media as if they were influencers, like just constantly. I yeah, vlogging their whole day.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

I'm like someone that does that.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

And like that's cool if you're like trying to be an influencer, you're starting out, but if you have no like want or need to do that, like yeah, I agree. Like, I don't know, it's just OD. Yeah, it's like the moms on Facebook, they're like going to the park right now, going to take a shit later, and then we're gonna wash the dishes.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Yeah, I yeah, I don't know. There's a lot of influencers or wanna be influences is just like send me. Yeah, I'm like, ew, don't get out of it, don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

I kind of want to be an influencer, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:55

I know, be a millionaire.

SPEAKER_02 46:57

I don't know, those motherfuckers make good money.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

I also really don't like when influencers like when they set it up to make it look like it's real, but it's not. Oh, and then like fake it. Yeah, it's just so annoying. I'm always like, oh, okay, the camera was set up.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

Oh no, they're like get ready with me in the morning, and they're like getting out of bed. I'm like, you had your camera running all night. Yeah, seriously. No, you didn't. That would have died.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

I know they wake up and they're like wipe and crusty out of their eyes. Oh my god, I hate I hate that. I think it's fucking hilarious when the guy like there's guys that make fun of them, they have like plastic bags on their on their face and like saran wrap around their face, and then like you know, just all this shit, and they're like, come get ready with me. They take off the saran wrap off their nose.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

You're lucky if I take my makeup off every day, dude.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

I watched this woman, I just came across her page, and I'm not kidding you. She had on the fucking red light UV thing. I want one. Uh, so I don't have the mask one, but I have a red light UV body one. It's fucking awesome, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

We want one.

SPEAKER_00 48:08

Uh, and I can't find it. I wanted to use it the other day because my my shoulders hurt so bad. But I don't know where it went. But anyways, she takes that off, then she takes off the mask, then she's got another mask, then she's got these eye things on, then she's got the lip thing, then she takes off her bonnet, then she takes off like a cap, then she unrolls her hair. Um I should you not, it was like a fucking minute-long video of her just taking shit off her face. That would take me like and then there's these new things, like the sticky things or something, or like this thing to help with wrinkles in your boobs when you sleep. It's like some weird thing they wear, and it's supposed to help not get wrinkles in between your boobs.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

I'm sorry, people get those.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

No, I don't fucking know. I don't have them. I don't either, and it's like, come on. I the shit they make nowadays is fucking insane.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

It's because they know fucking stupid people will buy it.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Yeah, I'm yeah, I wash my face and I brush my teeth.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

That's and put I do put like cream on, but after I wash my face, start getting ready for bed as soon as I get home from work.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Yeah, if you had to do all that, I swear to god, they don't have kids, and it's fucking insane to me that they do all that. That is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

Um I'm gonna think of the one that I thought of the other day.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

I know this kind of relates to like being awkward, but like not asking questions and like lack of convo, like one-word answers. Like if you're actively talking to somebody or trying to, and they just don't ask you questions, and it's like a one-word answer. Oh my god, I can't I can't stand that. It's like meh.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Like when you're the only one asking questions about them and they thought about you.

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Yeah, it's like no thanks.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

That's cringe.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

No thanks.

SPEAKER_02 50:18

What? I'm reading this story. It said I made hard-boiled eggs and he couldn't figure out how to get the shell. Oh my god. How to get the shell off. So he put the whole thing in his mouth with the shell and ate it.

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Ew, what the fuck? He's missing. What do you eat sunflower seeds? Green cells. Um, I like them. I don't eat them a lot, but I like them.

SPEAKER_02 50:38

Do you eat the whole thing or do you just you have to like break them open and get the like little seed out?

SPEAKER_00 50:44

So I it's a lot of work it to break it open. Sometimes I'll eat the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 50:50

I eat the whole thing every day.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

Yeah, I'll suck. I mean, there's sometimes hopefully. I do. I do PSA. I do.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

In case somebody wants to know. You can sign up for an appointment on her uh on our link tree.

SPEAKER_00 51:06

Okay, so I have another one. I have a couple more. Um a guy who like talks a big game about like sex or whatever, and then just underperforms it or or like never ever follows through with it. Like um, it hasn't happened to me, but I feel like that would just be yeah, like underperforms or like, yeah, you know, it would be like, yeah, like I'm talking about this big game, and then like just doesn't do any of it.

SPEAKER_02 51:46

Like it would fucking side me. Oh my god, I would die. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

It's like a one pump jump. You just don't need to talk about it. One pump jump, and that's it. Okay, what about someone who's just really bitter on life? Like always negative about everything, everything.

SPEAKER_02 52:08

Absolutely not, because I'm not like that.

SPEAKER_00 52:09

No, me neither. Like just someone who's always bitter.

SPEAKER_02 52:14

I always like to see the bright side of things, yeah. And somebody that was like, or somebody that constantly thinks somebody's attacking them, or like everything is like tricky.

SPEAKER_00 52:24

Like you can put something and then they're like, I could be like the grass is green, but like man, the fucking grass, like I have to like I know, um like oh my god, I know seriously, just constantly bitter outlook on life, like everything is just like negative. I can't have people like that around me. It's so it's bad, it's draining as well. It's bad energy, or somebody who every problem they have is always someone else's fault. Yeah, it's like you did this, you did that, this person did this to me. I don't have this, I don't have that.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

It's like, oh my god, yeah, that's take me out, please.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

To the back of the house and shoot me. Literally, like old yeller, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

Oh yellow, literally. Do you have that anymore?

SPEAKER_00 53:18

No, baby, I don't men who are super rude, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

I think we covered this last with like customer service people, yeah. But just men who are rude all the time, or men who actively lie. Oh, yeah, about literally everything, everything, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:39

Why that's cringe, that's cringe. I don't like that neither. Or someone who can't do anything without drinking. Oh like if you can't see I know if you can't do anything without have like having a drink in your hand, uh is uh no, no, that's cringe, and also oh my god, that was a Larry Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

So we're at a party one time, and there's a group of people that were smoking weed, and somebody went up to them and they were like, hey man, like can I get a hit or whatever? And they're like, No, like that I got the ick from the person who was asking because would they like you don't even know them, yeah. And they're like asking, yeah, yeah, with them, and they're like, No, like that's so cringe. I was just so embarrassed. I know. I thought I was that's the end of my ick list. Yeah, mine ended. I'm sure we'll find more when we're at work, we'll have sooner. But oh, that was tough to get along. We'll have to do part three, four or five, six, and eight.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

Yeah, oh my god. Uh well, thank you for listening to our like I feel like this flew by.

SPEAKER_02 54:49

I know it's only fucking 2 30. We started it after 1 30 because somebody was late.

SPEAKER_00 54:56

Me? I don't know. I'm a psychopath. She misses me. Everyday baby. What about men that bring their own cups to the bar? Why are you doing all that? I saw some guy last night. So he orders a drink, he gets the drink, and he pulls out this big ass tumbler and pours it in there and pours it in there.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

That's fruby, that's fruity.

SPEAKER_00 55:24

And I was like, what the fuck? And it was all it had like ice in it and everything. And I guess I get like keeping it. It was a roll soda, yeah. Uh maybe, maybe, but I was like, what the fuck? Don't do that. Don't please don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Sometimes, or like when guys are like wicked and abriated, that's kind of like.

SPEAKER_00 55:45

Yeah, I don't, I don't like that. It's it's kind of um sloppy. Yeah, like I'm all for like, you know, getting a good buzz and like having fun. But if you're like falling down or you're just like startling, yeah, yeah, that's cringe. I don't and like guys that like are that hammered at the bar, and they come up and they're like rubbing your back and they're like in your face, like talking, and you're just like, ew, stop, stop, please don't fucking do that. Please get the fuck away from me, kindly.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

Yeah, yeah, I hate that. That's cringe. Like, you're supposed to be the protector, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:22

Not the person living in the ambulance, or guys that get into fist fights at the bar for no reason. That's stupid. I can't fucking stand that.

SPEAKER_02 56:29

That's like male bump.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

If you cannot handle your alcohol, do not go to a bar. And I get it if you're defending somebody, or if somebody's doing something stupid and you just like lay them the fuck out. I'm cool with that. I'm I'm okay with that. I can fuck with that. But if you're just like that hammered and you're like bumping into everybody and you're like, yeah, man, fuck you, and then like you get into this ball, it's like ew.

SPEAKER_02 56:56

That's yeah, don't do that, or people that only go to the bar to look for fights, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

Like for what? I it please grow up. That's so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

So, in other words, just be normal, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:13

Don't drink.

SPEAKER_00 57:14

What is normal?

SPEAKER_02 57:17

Remember every ick that we had?

SPEAKER_00 57:19

Just don't do any of those.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

Then you're normal. Then you're normal. You're welcome. We're gonna make a book on how to be a real man.

SPEAKER_00 57:29

And we postponed our porn episode just so everyone knows. Yeah, just got her period. I did not so lame. Um, yeah, we had to find some good ones first. Some good porn episodes. Episodes, videos, episodes, videos like a whole or clips, they're adult movies. Yeah. Okay, well, I guess that's a wrap for episode 11.

SPEAKER_02 57:57

All right, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

Happy flies when you're having fun.

SPEAKER_02 58:00

Hell yeah, and happy mother's day to all the mothers out there.

SPEAKER_00 58:03

Yes, I meant to say that in the beginning. Nice, maybe. Fuck. Happy Mother's Day.

unknown 58:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 58:12

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

SPEAKER_02 58:17

Quote of the day. Just a reminder this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed therapists, dating coaches, or role models. We're just two coworkers with microphones and opinions.