Episode 18: Ancient Freaks & Royal Kinks

This week, we’re taking a trip back in time… and trust us, history was way weirder (and kinkier) than we ever imagined. From bizarre royal bedroom habits to scandalous traditions and unbelievable historical facts, we’re uncovering the spicy side of history that definitely wasn’t in your school textbooks.

Join us as we react, laugh, cringe, and question how humanity has been this unhinged for centuries. If you thought people today were wild, just wait until you hear what our ancestors were up to.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Workwives. This is Ashi. This is Jess. So my favorite subject in school was history. Oh, really? Yeah. Was it really?

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Tell me yours was math. Oh I fuck that. I hated math.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

What was your favorite? Jim? Yeah. That's all that's all the boys say that their favorite was Jim. Like, okay. I actually really liked science. Science? Like what kind of science? Or just like in general?

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Just in general. Like um, just just all of it. I really liked it.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

So you want to do my chemistry homework?

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Okay. I didn't say that. I did not say that. Uh so this is episode 18. And we're doing an episode on kinky historical facts. Hell yeah. I'm I'm actually excited for this one. Some of these are pretty interesting. Do you want to start us off?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Sure, baby. So, my first fact is that the world's first microbiologist, Antoine Van, I can't even say his fucking last name, discovered sperm after putting his own semen under the microscope. Oh my god, really? Who would think to fucking jack off and then look at it under the microscope?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

I wonder how they came up with the name sperm.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Maybe do you think the sperm whale came first or the sperm? Like the name?

SPEAKER_00 1:30

I'm gonna say probably the name sperm, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

I don't like the word sperm.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Yeah, I don't either. It's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Keep saying it sperm, sperm, sperm. I like cum, not just yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Man milk. Yeah, that's your go-to. That's interesting. Okay, um, my first one is gonna be so King Edward VII had a custom love chair. Uh, the future king of England was a larger man with multiple lovers, and a French furniture maker reportedly built him a special design chair to accommodate his romantic encounters.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

That is awesome, and I'm pretty sure this fact that's why couch is called a love seat now. That's where it came from. Isn't that crazy? Okay, so if you have a love seat, you can only do sex on it, no setting. It's only for that. Interesting. I thought it was called a love seat because only like two people can. That's what I thought. Me too. Because I had that fact too, and that's what it said. Interesting. Okay. Ancient Egyptians believe that the god of creation birthed the world by masturbating and viewed it as a magical act. Really? So I'm not gonna say that I'm masturbating anymore. I want to say that I'm creating the world.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I mean, you kind of are when you think about it. I mean, you know, sparks fly.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

I'm God.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

It's like the Big Bang. Yeah, literally the Big Bang Theory. Oh, that's crazy. Um, ancient Romans had surprisingly open attitudes about sexuality. So public art and even household decorations often featured erotic imagery. Some bakeries even had explicit carvings as designs.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

I love that. Yeah, I think that we should be more sexually open.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah, I mean, to a degree, yeah. But there's still some art that is like that, yeah. Very sexualized, you know.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Well, since we're going off art, um, in ancient Greece, large penises were associated with foolishness, which would explain why so many statues have tiny ones. What have you ever seen like pictures of the phone? Oh, yeah, and they're like this fucking tiny. So if you're foolish, let me know.

unknown 3:53

Just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

So I wonder like what turns the page on people to be like, ew, if you have a small penis, you're gross.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Um, probably when it doesn't do anything for you. I guess. But like, I don't know, that's crazy, really. Isn't that funny? Like, you're foolish if you have a big wiener.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Could you imagine seeing like one of those statues that's just got like a schlong down to the knee? This foolish idiot over here.

unknown 4:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

So that means if I was to have a penis, mine would be massive. Had to wrap that shit up in a bundle.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Oh my god. Uh, Cleopatra reportedly experimented with pleasure devices. So one enduring uh story claimed that she had a hollow gourd filled with buzzing bees to create vibrations. Historians aren't certain it's true, but it's one of history's most famous spicy legends. So she put bees in like a hollow thing so it would vibrate.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

That's awesome. That's so innovative.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Yeah, it really is. It's very clever. That is really clever. That's crazy. Who would think really cool? Hold on, let me get my bees.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I know, I gotta go pleasure myself. Could you imagine they come out and fucking sting your click? Oh, that's fucking crazy. She's a smart girl. Yeah, the lengths we will go to for pleasure. Yeah, you're not wrong. I love that for her. Me too. During World War One, STIs were incredibly common, and some soldiers purposefully try to get infected so that they could be honorably discharged and avoid the trenches.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Really?

SPEAKER_01 5:46

I saw that one a couple times actually. No way, honestly, me too. I think I would try. Like a little syphilis. You know the clap? Yeah. That they would like they said that you like clap your genitals, and that's how you would get it out. Really? That's why it's called the clap. I think so. Yeah, I've never heard that before. What is the clap? Is it syphilis or chlamydia? I think it's chlamydia. So anybody that has chlamydia, clap your penis and let me see if it works. Let me see if it helps.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Does it come out? That's crazy. Um, the Kama Sutra isn't just about sex, only about 20% of the book covers sexual positions. The rest focuses on relationships, courtship, marriage, fashion, grooming, and living well.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Did I already tell you my Kama Sutra story? In class, yeah. Yes, so humbling.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Actually, you published on it. Yeah. Oh, okay. So I don't have to. Have you ever seen the Kama Sutra book? No, I want one though. I've never seen it. I've seen pictures of it, but I've never like actually looked at it. Like had it. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

But yeah, I haven't seen pictures, but I want a copy of the Kama Sutra.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Yeah, I kind of want one just to just to see it, like for what it really is.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Yeah, I want to see what it says too. I think it's interesting. Me too.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Because doesn't it talk about like what the positions like do for you?

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Like is I don't know like what it actually says. I wonder how much one is. Like if I was to buy one.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

I don't think they're super expensive.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

That's seven dollars at Walmart.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Really? I can't believe that it's only seven dollars.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Yeah. I mean, you can buy like a nicer looking one for 20, but yeah, they're not really that expensive. Interesting. I kind of want one. I know.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

I think I could buy it at Barnes and Noble. Well, I'm sure there's like obviously different copies of it as well. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like more in depth, maybe, or like bigger versions. I don't know. I would totally buy one. I know I kind of want one just to see.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Okay, your turn. King Tut was mummified with a boner. Get the fuck out of here. So I read another one where it said like when they were mummifying people and like they don't embalm what it's called when you like wrap them up. Mummify. Mummi mummifying it. Yeah. They used to like have sex with them as they were mummifying them. So like they were like the first necrophiliacs.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

What really well they're still alive, that's right. So that how do you have a boner when you know you're getting mummified?

SPEAKER_01 8:42

I don't know. I don't think well, they're dead, but like maybe they do something like where rigor mortis, like oh my god. But there's not isn't rigor mortis like with your muscles? Is there muscles in the penis? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So maybe it would like make it stand up or something. Yeah. By like, I don't know. So do you want to go to Egypt and break into King Tut's tomb and like see if he actually has got a I do a boner? Well, yeah. Do you wonder if he's well endowed?

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Or if he's yeah, if he's a fool.

unknown 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Are you foolish? Oh, that's funny. Um, let's see. Victorian England was full of contradictions. The era is remembered as extremely modest, yet it had a thriving underground market for erotic photographs, literature, and even specialty shops. Sounds like my kind of town. I know. I wonder how many people actually went under there. That's awesome. Yeah, it was like hush hush, big secret. But I think that's I think that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

I think that is too. That's awesome. I know.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Like all these underground.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

You know what's crazy to me? Like all these like other countries are so open about everything. Yeah. And like the United States is so like hush hush about it. Like sexuality.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Yeah. Uh see, I think it's very open for them and natural. Here, I think they do things. Like, I think it's uh how do I say this?

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Well, not like anyone, it is a natural thing. I think we're just a little trying to be a little prudish over here.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Well, that too, and I think, but I think they shove like the wrong things down people's throats. Like who? Just like everything in our world, social media, all that, like be who you want to be, like you know what I mean. But I think like I do, I think it's um a lot different than it is in different countries. Yeah, I I agree.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Because like when you go to Greece, like you go into a shop and they have like a deck of cards and they're like sex positions, or like they have the deck like just open right for everybody to see. Yeah, like you know, it's like normal because it is a normal thing, really.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

It is, yeah, a hundred percent. And like here, like sex shops, it's all like very secretive, windows are dark, yeah, yeah. It's mad and it's like smoke shop, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

It's like no, it's not adult world.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Seriously, huh?

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Ancient Egyptian women avoided pregnancy by shoving crocodile dung into the vagina. What the fuck? That's kind of smart that they even knew that would prevent pregnancy. Like, I don't know if that actually worked, but like tried to prevent pregnancy. That's like oh, okay. You know what I mean? So it was like a barrier, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Oh my god. I bet they had some serious stink pus, but like not only ooh, fuck yeah, they did, and like massive fucking like bacteria. Yeah. Oh my god. Ew. That is really disgusting. Ew. Pompeii preserved ancient adult entertainment. When Mount Vesuvius erupted, it froze brothels, artwork, and graffiti in time, giving historians an uncensored glimpse into Roman life.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Okay, so when I was a senior in high school, we went to Pompeii and we got to visit the old village. And I'll show you some pictures because it's wicked cool. But while we were there, there was like a bunch of vendors like with little booths and selling stuff. And this guy looked at me. I was 17 at the time. He looked at me and he was like, Are those real or fake? And I'm like, what? And then he's like pointing out my boobs. I'm like, oh, they're real, like in front of my whole class. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

I was like, honestly, period. That is such a like a also, I was like four million pounds. So of course I think big ass boobies. You were not that big. Stop. Okay. Oh my god. And look at they would just have like penises in the road. Penis. And then I don't remember what that is, but these are like sex positions that they had the wall in the brothels. Oh my god. What isn't that cool? This was like the bed in the brothel. Get the fuck out of here. That's a shower or whatever. Oh my god. That's classmate. That's wicked. Isn't that cool? Yeah, there's just like penises all over the place.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

It's crazy to think about like how long that's been around.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

And it was so weird. Like they didn't touch anything, they didn't preserve anything. So everything that was there is like the original. It's like original natural. I mean, they found like some like pottery and they would like put it into this like little warehouse and you could see it, but that's crazy. It was really cool though, like how they set everything up. Like the rock bed, think about like and the pictures. Like, who the heck makes pictures like that when they sit up there? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Like who and uh yeah, it was really cool though. Yeah, that's a cool experience, huh?

SPEAKER_01 14:11

And then we took a class picture of us jumping up in the air, and I was wearing a dress and nothing underneath it, so my fucking pussy just out in the picture. You're lying. Uh okay, I had underwear on.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

I was gonna say you're not wearing underwear.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

Where's the fucking class picture, dude? I'll have to show you because I still have it. It was out. Oh, I think it's in me. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

That's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Yeah, and my teacher, his wife came with us, so she's like, I deleted it because we took the picture of us on his phone. I'm like, thank god, dude. Because that was so humbling. I'll have to find you didn't even have underwear on. No, I did, but they were like laced, so you could see everything through it. Oh my god, it was so bad. It was fucking hilarious. Oh, here we go. Oh, underwear just ow.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

It doesn't even look like you're wearing a dress. It looks like you're wearing a shirt with just no pants on.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Honestly, since we were visiting Pompeii, I think that's pretty acceptable. And they just happened to get the photo at that exact moment. I'm like, come on, and why am I who would let me jump like that? Like, we every place we went, we like jumped up in the air like that. Like, why are we doing that? I wish you guys could see this picture. Oh my god, that was so humbling. Okay, it's your turn. Oh fuck, I did I close my phone like a dick bag.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

It's funny.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Male Chinese practitioners of Taoism during the Han Dynasty engaged in sex without ejaculation as they believe semen was the essence was the essence of life, and they didn't want to lose too much of it. So that's called edging.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

I was just gonna say, so also there's a lot of talk with like um uh like energy centers and like kundalini and things like that. And like if you especially a male, but women too, but if you um do not ejaculate that that goes back up to your um pen pene oh my god, I can't say it. Your penal gland? Penial gland, like it does something for your body and like your energy and like your um colostrum and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

That's crazy. Wouldn't it make your fucking penis just hurt?

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Well, I would think so. I mean, unless you're celibate.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

I'm like, I've never had one, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

But um, yeah, I guess and there's also something with if you every three days like your the colostrum goes down and then back up. So, like if you don't um ejaculate, it there's like powerful things, really, yeah. That's so cool. I know it's pretty interesting.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

So I don't ever want to hear any person say that they need to see one because you don't, you need power, you need power, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Um, Marie Antoinette's bedroom was practically public. Royal bursts were often witnessed by dozens, even hundreds of people because producing an air was considered a matter of state.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Could you imagine like hundreds of people coming in the bedroom and just watching you like vag all out and a fucking head crowning out of your vagina?

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Honestly, I think I'd rather them watch me give birth than fuck. Yeah. Because what if you poop? They probably love it. They showed up their vagina so they can get pregnant. They don't have to go through away. Maybe they're one of those 99% of people who have a poop kink. Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

I wonder how many people we pass like a day that have like a weird fucking kink.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

I know. I wish I could read everybody's kinks in their head. I know. I know that'd be that would be my superpower.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

If I had one, that would be just no everybody's kink and like what they want. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Like there would be like a thought bubble above their head with what they like. I'd be like, that's awesome. Jessica, just a big turd.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Alaskan pipeline. Yeah, just an Alaskan pipeline. Just in there, big fat turd in a cotton in the breeze.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

And it has like flakes on it because it's frozen. It's so fucked up. 15th century prostitutes would shave their genital region to combat lice. Then, in order to hide the signs of syphilis, the pubic wig was invented. Ew, what the fuck? So I don't know what syphilis looks like, but can you tell you have it if you're completely shaved on there? I think so, yeah. Oh, yeah. But when somebody's entering you, they won't be able to tell.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Well, I think it's like a breakout. I don't know. I'm not too privy to information on STDs. I'd rather not be. But maybe that's a good thing. I think like um, I think it's like I wanna say, like I could be wrong, so don't quote me. We'd have to look this up, but I think it also affects like discharge and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Oh yeah, like I think it like and I wonder if it like makes you have spots burns and like yeah, so you probably just have the reddest cooch in America.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

No, I think it's more like well, probably red, but like sores. I think, I think, I think.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Oh, that's horrifying. The yeah, I'm gonna get a pubic wig. Not because I have syphilis, but because I'm interested.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Also, how would they take care of that? Like, how would I wonder how they with a knife, like a sword?

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Well, like shave, yeah. Yeah, probably like like a knife, like a small knife, or like a razor or something.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

They ain't got no razors.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Well, yeah, they just went through their local target, picked up a chick.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Is that what it's called? Chick. Is that the brand? Shik razer, unless it's chic, but it's s I cick. No shit. No chick. No chick. Um, ancient Egyptians wrote love poetry that sounds surprisingly modern. Some surviving poems include lines about longing, attraction, and missing a lover that could easily fit in today's love songs. Oh, who's gonna write one about me?

SPEAKER_01 20:50

She I know who is yearning for me.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Oh, baby. I have the same question. Who's yearning for me? Really? Okay, period. No, who's gonna make a love song for a love poem?

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Yeah, oh a Victorian cure for hysteria was masturbation. Say it one more time. A Victorian cure for hysteria was masturbation, which is crazy because like you remember all those sanatoriums that they had, yeah, with the crazy people. What if they were just like masturbate? That would be like the stickiest place ever.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

I've I've seen stuff like, and it's even like been in movies where people like with um I guess hysteria or like you know panic episodes, yeah, like them doing that. Really? Yeah, and I feel like uh I guess I mean you release a lot of endorphins when you do it.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

So I guess they said that hysteria they classify it as anxiety, nervousness, or Or irritability. Oh my god, I cannot talk.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Um, or not endorphins, but like um serotonin or whatever. Oh yeah. Dopamine, dopamine. Yeah. Uh for especially for a male. And then like a lot of men crash really hard after because their dopamine spikes and then it drops so quickly.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

And orgasms are responsible for a variety of medical benefits. I I could see that. Helps your skin. If you put it on the skin, no, if you semen.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Really?

SPEAKER_01 22:32

If you sperm. Just like coming.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Helps your skin.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Yeah, and like boosts your mood.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Um that I agree with.

unknown 22:42

Huh!

SPEAKER_00 22:43

I mean, I've heard semen's good for the skin.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Oh, I'm gonna look up the benefits of orgasming. Yeah, you shouldn't have a semen face mask.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Um, okay, well, you look that up. Uh, Henry VIII had an obsession with proving his masculinity. He kept detailed records of hunting, sports, and his health, and rumors about his romantic life spread throughout Europe. Okay, egotistical narcissist.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

I mean, he's already the king. I don't really know why he has to do all that. Small penis problems, maybe? I don't know. I got a little dick energy. Yeah. Okay. Orgasm helps with stress relief, better sleep, pain relief. Yeah, if you have a headache, that's what they said you should do.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

I have heard that before. Have you tried it? No. Okay. About to my next more migraine. It's gonna be my office.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

I gotta get rid of this migraine. Oh my fucking god. Um, improved cardiovascular response, pelvic floor health, sexual well-being, relationship bonding. Boring, lame, relationship bonding. I thought I was gonna say makes you skinny, natural, ozempic. Benjamin Franklin had a large number of mistresses and suggested that he preferred having sex with older women because they were more experienced and grateful.

unknown 24:10

Oh, period.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Thanks. Okay. How old are we talking? Uh, ew, okay, never mind. That was who, Benjamin Franklin? He wrote a letter called Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress. He recommended having oh my god, I can really not talk today. You were saying it fine. Having sex with old women rather than young ones, as they were the most tender and useful. Ew. There's no hazard of children, the sin is less, and they weren't virgins. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Okay, then now it's like a flux if you like hook up with a virgin.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

I know you're not. That's creepy.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

That's really creepy. No, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

There's not a lot of things that creep me out, but that's what it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

I it's fucking weird. Um, okay, this one's kind of boring, but it's interesting. The world's oldest known your mom jokes are thousands of years old, some date back to nearly 3,500 years to ancient Babylon. Humans have apparently always loved inappropriate humor. I could see that. Period. Babylon was no fucking joke.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

I'm an old soul.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

You are. I agree with this. That's crazy. Your mom jokes. Yeah, your mom. I wonder if they actually really said that.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Oh hell yeah, poop kink. Wolfgang Mozart, a composer, obviously Mozart, had a fondness for the scatological. In letters to his cousin and possible love interests. Mozart wrote, I shit on your nose so it runs down your chin. Oh my god. And blow into my behind. Oh my god. It's splendid food, may it do you good. And blow into my ass. Bullshit. And he composed a musical piece titled Lick Mick and Arch. Lick my behind. It translates to.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Ewah. Okay, apparently someone's fucking DNA.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

That's crazy. That's your love enters in her like eat my ass. Well, they did a lot of that back then. But eating ass or their cousins? Both. But family members. I would say that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

But like a lot of um royalties. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

They kept the bloodline.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Yeah. They want to keep the bloodline so they stay within the family.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

That's why. Who was that king? And he was like so fucked up looking like he had like huge lips, like a huge tongue.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Yeah, fucking incest, dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

It's fucking so inbred. Yeah, very inbred. Uh, the Romans had dating graffiti. Archaeologists found messages carved into walls expressing crushes, flirting insults, and romantic boasts. Basically, the ancient version of social media comments.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

No way. That's fucking cool. It's it reminds me of, like you know, in high school, and you'd write on the inside of the stalls. Yeah. Call me for a good time. 911. That's awesome. I don't think we're I think we just modernize everything, but everything that they used to do, we do now. Yeah, I agree. That's so cool though. I know it's just technology is different now. So if me and Jess were in the olden days, I think we would have like soap boxes and just tell people.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Like just talk to each other in front of people. That would be our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Tell us their deepest, darkest secrets, and we would just talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Yeah. Then we'd probably get like hung or stoned to death. Because I think we're witches.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Yeah, I was gonna say hung and set on fire or stoned to death. Do you imagine being stoned to death?

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Would you rather be stoned to death or set on fire?

SPEAKER_00 27:57

I think stoned to death. I think stoned to death. Just give me one good hard one in the face, and then I'd knock out and I don't feel the rest. I can imagine being set on fire.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Fuck no, me neither. Nope. That's horrifying. Nope. Hung? Yeah, actually, just hang me.

unknown 28:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Yeah. I can pretend I'm a bird for a little bit while I'm up there. Yeah. Just seizing the fuck out of her. Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, lost her virginity on top of her mother's grave. Ew. What the fuck? Kind of makes sense that she wrote Frankenstein. Not that it was like a disgusting movie, but like it just seems gory like her. Yeah. She seems a little gory. Why would you want to lose your virginity there? Maybe you want to keep your mom involved. Maybe that was her king. Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

People she made a bubble above her head, and that was your superpower. I know, dude.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

I think everybody should just come out and tell me what they are, so I don't even have to like. I think that's a great idea.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

The Marquis de Sade gave us the word sadism. His controversial controversial writings in the late 1700s inspired the psychological term, and his name became part of the English language. What was his name? Sadism?

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Yeah. No way. Yeah. I don't think I would want that word named after me though. Not like with that meaning.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

And today, yeah, I mean it's very dark and yeah. That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

Huh. Ancient Egyptians engaged in sex with animals, even serpents and crocodiles, because it was believed to be gods in the forms of animals.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Okay, that's fucking weird. I can see because there were animals. What was it? Snakes and what else? Snake snakes and crocodiles, I think I just do you even do that?

SPEAKER_01 30:07

I don't know. How do snakes lay eggs? Do they have a hole? Maybe that. Or like but they let them slither up their bottle.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Or like that.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Do you imagine getting head from either of them?

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Like rubber, maybe?

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Maybe. You know what I mean? But like then you're killing the gods. Oh, that's true. Oh god, that's yeah, they had like about they had animal gods, right? Yeah. Okay, yeah, I thought so. Oh not a s oh my god, I don't even like snakes. Well, I mean, if it was a woman, I could see how they would do it with a snake. Well, that's what I mean. Yeah. But for a man, I don't know. But a fucking crocodile. Yeah, you don't want a head from that guy. Oh god, people are tread your penis off, probably.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Imagine a fucking venomous snake. It's like I know, and then you just die from poison. Her penis just blows up like a big mumble. Oh, Napoleon supposedly wrote very passionate love letters. Many of his letters to Josephine were incredibly emotional, obsessive, and sometimes unintentionally hilarious by modern standards.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

And I wonder if she declined, because he had some LMS, little man syndrome, for sure. He was you know, you know what's funny? So we're all taught that he's like really short, and he was like 5'6, he wasn't even really that short. Like, was he actually 5'6? Yeah, he wasn't even that short, but I think he might have been shorter than all the other men. Yeah, so that's probably why, right? But yeah, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

That's kind of cute. Love letters, and they were hilarious, hilarious, emotional, and obsessive.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Oh, oh, oh, that got me. Do you imagine a bird flies through the window and you see it's another letter from him? She's like, Oh my god, throws it in the back. Oh my god. So the author of my favorite, well, now it's a musical, Lame is. Um, he had so many mistresses and visited brothel so often that when he died, they closed for the day to mourn his death.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

Really? So I had heard that he had so many mistresses and visited, but I didn't know the other part.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Yeah, that he mourned. That's great. They mourned him, yeah, because there goes all their money. Yeah, I know, right? I'd probably mourn him too. We're just gonna mourn him from now on. He could make love nine times a day. Oh, he had two wives at the same time, cheated on both of them. He cheated on them with even his son's mistress. Oh, okay. That is someone who is a sex addict. He died at 83. That's awesome. Holy shit. He lived that long. Sex workers in the city covered their genitals in black crepe as a sign of respect. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Then they're not a sex worker anymore.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

They're mourning it.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Oh, the day they die. Yeah, the day they died. Okay. Oh my god. Interesting. Uh, Victorians covered table legs. The famous claim that Victorians covered piano or table legs because they were considered too suggestive is a little bit exaggerated and could be a myth, but it's become one of history's funniest misconceptions.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

So they do all this other shit, but table legs is where they draw the line.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Right? That's where they draw the line. What the maybe it just was like a fad for them and everyone was like made a joke one day.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Well, you know, like those old tables that like the legs kind of like curve and that's like a foot.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

And they do, yeah. My grandmother had one.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

So I guess if you like spun it around, it could look like yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, a genital, but really that's where you're gonna draw the line. Yeah. It's like, and who is shoving a table leg up there? I'm actually not gonna ask that because it's probably happened before it has happened.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Or was it a situation where they just thought that it looked like a leg and it was like weird and creepy to them? Uh yeah, yeah. Or like two and I don't know. I think they had bigger fish to fucking fry and like you know, yeah, stockings and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

Could you imagine having oh, so like showing the leg? Yeah, like showing the leg.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

That would make sense. That's called a leg, you know, leg of a table, and it looked, I mean, they really were very fancy and looked like a leg and a foot. Yeah, that makes sense though. Like they the women have to cover their legs, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

The tables do. Yeah. Interesting. So you know how like a lot of the Disney movies are actually written by somebody else, and then they kind of like make it family friendly. Friend, um like do you know the story of The Little Mermaid? Oh, yeah, like the real story.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Oh no, there's like a dark side, uh, so kind of like with a siren, sort of, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Like I think so, kind of. So, like a bunch of Disney movies, their actual stories are really dark, right? And then obviously Disney came in and family friendly to whatever. So the real author of Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Anderson, he um kept a diary and he kept very detailed records of masturbation. He was unnerved by anything having to do with sex. His journals are surprisingly frank on the subject of his own body, penis sore. That's what he would write in his diary. Penis sore. Oh my god. What the fuck? And it would often it was often accompanied by a mark resembling a cross to indicate that he had masturbated. Really? When he visited Paris, he would go into brothels, he would not touch the woman, but speak with them, and then he would go back to his hotel and jack off, and then he would put it in his diary.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

I wonder like how they came up with like masturbation, like if someone just like touched their dick one time and was like, This feels really good, you know what I mean? Like, so I think humans are so fucking weird, and we've been around for so long. Like, think about that.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

I think it's weirder for women to find out how to masturbate more than men, right? And look at how far we've come. Because I feel like ew, this is gonna be a little TMI, but I feel like a lot of people think like female masturbation is just penetration, it's definitely not no, right? There's stimulation and stuff, yeah, right, yeah. So I think, like, how did they find out like oh that felt good right there?

SPEAKER_00 36:48

Right, you know what I mean, and like even oral, like who would have thought she said seriously, who who would have thought that though? Like to go down there, like in like that spot, yeah, and like how to do it, right? Because like men with your wiener, you could just find a hole, dude. Anywhere that's a hole. Clearly, there has to be like some knowledge from some person from so long ago, like especially with like the Kama Sutra, yeah, and like knowing like about these different positions and where they what spots they touch, like internally, externally, like all that, you know, and like what stimulates what parts and things.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

Do you ever feel like we're in this like big ass fucking simulation? Yes, I do a lot. I think how does all this stuff like match?

SPEAKER_00 37:39

That's what I mean. And how do people figure that out?

SPEAKER_01 37:41

I feel like we're in a simulation where like what's a fucking movie that I hate, Jim Carrey movie? Oh, um The Something Show, The Truman Show, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

I hate that fucking movie, but if you really watch it and pay attention to it, it's kind of for film class. There you go. But it was boring. It it's very slow and dry, but and there was no sex. Most boring part of the whole thing, but yeah, I feel like we are, and we're just like a vessel, like getting watched.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

We're God's sperms that he nutted all over the place. Oh my god, that's how we came. He created the earth. Are you gonna go home and create the earth after this?

SPEAKER_00 38:24

I might now that we're talking about it. Um, 13th century goat eyelid cockerings. The precursor to the modern cock ring was invented in China in the 13th century. According to historical records, they were crafted from the eyelids and eyelashes of goats tied around the base of the member.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

So I'm familiar with cockerings, but I don't really understand like what the full purpose is. Somebody said it's so that they can last longer, but and some of them vibrate, so then I see that. Right. But I don't understand, like, if you just get like a normal cock ring. Well, what is it for?

SPEAKER_00 39:06

I think it's for both. It's supposed to, from what I understand, like some of them are ribbed, you know, so it's supposed to but it doesn't go in you, no, but it's supposed to stimulate the click, the click as you as they're going. It's interesting, yes, but for them, it get it goes down to the base, and it's supposed to put almost like this pressure on the penis to give more like blood flow, kind of. I like the way you're doing that with bringing my hand up and down like she's just like pulling a string. We should have videoed.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

We should um so it's supposed to supposed to put more pressure on them as well. No way, yeah, like give more feeling, I guess. I don't know anything about it, but that's what I've heard. Um, it's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Another author, his name was James Joyce. He would send raunchy letters to his wife detailing their sexual escapades, even though, like, was she not there during that?

SPEAKER_00 40:14

Was she asleep?

SPEAKER_01 40:15

And he seemed particularly infatuated with her farts. Oh my fucking I don't like when somebody farts around me.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

Yeah, uh that freaks me the fuck out. I mean, like, if you're kind of with somebody and comfortable enough and they do it, okay. But like if I'm like doing sex and you just like shake it. Oh, that's no. If ew. And that's what you imagine. Oh god, I know it's like rot bag. What does that smell? Ew. Um, butt plugs as a health remedy. In the 1800s, physicians peddled early versions of butt plugs as miracle cures for headaches, constipation, and insomnia. They were later banned due to the health risk associated with frequent use.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

They are my heroes. They are my heroes. You just walk around with a butt plug all day every day.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Should I? Maybe. Fine. She gets up and she's like, walking down the hall. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

Gotta get one to match every outfit just in case my pants were to fall down. Gotta make sure it matches. Yeah. So back to that one I was just talking about. They put a clip of like one of his notes in there. Matters. Yeah. He had written to his wife, you had an arse full of farts at night, darling, and I fucked them out of you. Big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks, and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. Okay, and who is this again? He wrote Ulysses. His name was James Joyce. And how old? How long ago is this? Like uh, he lived from 1882 to 1941. Okay, so 1800s.

SPEAKER_00 42:05

Was the word fart even around? Like, that's crazy. Well, here's yeah, little farties.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Little farties. If somebody wrote me this note, I would suck start a gun.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

Like, I can't even lie, I would die.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

I'm just gonna and why does she have that many farts?

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Let the girl use the fucking bathroom or something.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Like he's explaining that she had all these farts. Was she asleep?

SPEAKER_01 42:36

I don't he said it was a rather girlish noise, not like the wet windy fart, which I imagine fat wives have. Ew what the fuck? Ew. And then he said that he hopes that she'll fart in his face so that he'll know their smell also. Could you not smell it during that?

SPEAKER_00 42:59

Oh my god. That is cute. And this is why people are fucking weird nowadays. Ew. The English Vice, BDSM and spanking were massively popular in 17th and 18th century Europe, with England even earning the nickname the English Vice, due to the widespread uh nature of the fetish. Upscale brothels across London offered dedicated spanking services. That's crazy. That's fucking nuts. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

Spanking. Can you imagine grown ass man comes in and he's like, can you give me like four good spanks?

SPEAKER_00 43:43

I mean, yeah, there's shit like that now where men just want to be like dominated by women and like just beat the shit out of, which is fucking weird, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

That is really weird. In Prague, there's um museum called the Sex Machines Museum. Oh, they have a steam-powered dildo. Steam powered. Oh, I feel like that's a good idea. Do you know those like have you ever seen those machines that you like? They're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want one?

SPEAKER_00 44:12

No, but I maybe. But I feel like um steam-powered.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Like the engines, like train engines.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

It's like steam. What do they have to fill it with coal? Hold on, I have to get my coal for my dildo. For my dildo. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Ew. I mean, that's innovative. Yeah, for sure. Um, well, the tortoise shell condom to combat the spread of syphilis. People in the 16th century Japan used early condom alternatives crafted from tortoise shells. That's really hard. That's what I'm saying. Unless it was like a scraping. I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

I think I read somewhere too where they would use like intestines of like animals and they would put it on their wiener. You know what I mean? How they're like, yeah, like the kind of just reminds them like a hot brown coat of it or something. That makes more sense than a fucking tortoise shell. That seems like it would really hurt and be extremely like dry.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Ew.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

And how do you even feel a tortoise shell that's like a rock? Right. How do you even feel anything?

SPEAKER_01 45:24

And maybe that's why people are so against condomsile. I don't know. Oh god. Roman brothels had pictures of the prostitute's specialties above the door to their room.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

Really? So like their specialty position, or like if it was like blowjobs, or yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:47

What that's kind of cool. I wonder what they would put on mine. Do you ever wish we could like go into a time machine?

SPEAKER_00 45:53

Yeah, sometimes I do. As long as we could get back out of it. Yeah. I would definitely do it. That's crazy. Awesome. Except I'd so you just like walk in and like pick your pick pick your poison.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Yeah. What do you imagine? Yours is like hello princess and nobody comes to visit you. That'd be so sad. Talking.

SPEAKER_00 46:13

Yeah, talking.

SPEAKER_01 46:14

That would be fine.

SPEAKER_00 46:15

Talking, talking, talking. Um torture contraceptives. In the 12th century Europe, people believe that tying the testicles of a weasel around one's thigh or neck during intercourse would act as a contraceptive.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

No, what owl, first of all. Literally. How would you even be able to concentrate on like your stroke game? Because where do these people come up with this shit? I don't know. But I mean they're kind of onto something. As long as the what is it called? The van's different, the different or whatever. That's the tube that the sperm goes to the penis. As long as that's like cut off, I think. Obviously, the sperm can't get in there, but if you have any like yeah, but they would tie it around one.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Because that's what they cut when you get the neck.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

When you get a vasectomy, that's what they cut.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

Is that that uh yeah, like the tube thing almost or whatever?

SPEAKER_01 47:13

Yeah, I thought they just cut your whole balls off.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

They do that with dogs. I know that's why I thought for like men, that's what they do too.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Oh my god, that'd be weird looking.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Yeah, no, thanks. Uh that's fucking weird.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

That is really weird. Early colonizers of the United States use corn cobs as toilet paper. What Cleopatra liked butt stuff? Somebody said, well, she was of Greek heritage. There you go, girl. Greeks were heavily into sodomy on both sexes. Women were only required to be virgins vaginally prior to marriage. Oh my god. The loophole. The poophole is the loophole. Oh my god, I love that. The poophole is the loophole. So now all you Greeks just love anal. Yeah, that's like when I was like looking up like um like stereotypical Greek people are like stereotypes of the Greeks. That's what I found. Like that they love bud stuff.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

That's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_01 48:33

It's kind of crazy. Not mad about that. Also said we're like tax evaders. Oh my god. Yeah, that's okay. President Lyndon Johnson was obsessed with his dick and loved to show it to people. He called it jumbo. So President Johnson showed his Johnson.

SPEAKER_00 48:56

He showed his Johnson. That's awesome. Spartans had unusual marriage customs. Some ancient sources describe a tradition in which a bride's hair was cut short and she wore men's clothing before the wedding night. Historians think this may have symbolized the transition into married life, though the exact meaning is debated.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

If they cut my hair off, I would die.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

Yeah. Here's one about Greek. Greek symposiums could get wild. A symposium was an elite drinking party where men discussed philosophy, politics, poetry, music, and entertainment. Heavy drinking was common, and some gatherings became quite rowdy.

SPEAKER_01 49:37

Okay. Okay, they sound so smart talking about their philosophies and drinking at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Oh my god. Olympic athletes competed nude. The word gymnasium comes from the Greek word gymnos meaning naked. Competing without clothing was considered a celebration of the human body rather than something scandalous.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

I like that.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

So why wasn't the Olympics naked this year? That's crazy. Huh. I love that. Yeah. That's cool. Napoleon would ask that his wife, Josephine, not bathe for several days when he knew he would be coming home.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

So I think that's gross, but at the same time, there is something behind like pheromones with people. And like when you meet someone, like if they're natural pheromones, like you just that there is like that pheromone thing.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

I mean, I wouldn't do it, bro. I wouldn't either. Not, I mean, it's gross to think about, but like, if you think about it back then, you know, like the natural pheromones. They love that shit. Yeah. So I I I guess I could see it. I believe that. I think it's gross, but I believe it.

SPEAKER_01 51:05

Empress Wu T teen of China asserted her dominance over male officials by making them kneel before her and pleasure her orally. What? Okay. Okay, Queen. Okay, Queenie.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

God, I wonder how many times a day she did that.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

I know. That's a great way to assert your dominance. Why did I never think of that before?

SPEAKER_00 51:32

Just sit in your throne. Next. I know, right? And like for how long? Like until she orgasmed, or like, I would assume no less.

SPEAKER_01 51:45

What's one little look gonna do for me?

SPEAKER_00 51:47

I would need, yeah, but I mean, just just show you a headache. Yeah, the last one has to finish.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Last one in line. The last one gets the mouth. I would need a break. My god. Yeah. She had like fucking metal clit. Yeah, for real. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 52:10

That's fucking crazy. Cupid wasn't originally Roman, the Greek version of Eros, a powerful god of desire. Early depictions showed him as a handsome young man rather than a chubby winged baby that became popular later in Roman art. That's cool. That makes sense. Yeah, is it a chubby baby? I know. Yeah, it's fucking weird. It's creepy. I have this really cool uh Greek mythology book and it talks about him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

It's I remember he does.

SPEAKER_00 52:41

He looks all jacked and hot.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

All the gods do.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

I know.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 52:46

That's why they're called gods and goddesses.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

I know. What goddess would you want to be? Ooh. Which one's the one of the animals? What is it? Um what the fuck is her name? Artemis?

SPEAKER_00 53:00

Not Aphrodite. What the fuck is Artemis?

SPEAKER_01 53:02

Yeah, she does like the hunting and the animals. Oh, yeah. And then Demeter is like, she does like the harvests and the crops and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

There's a lot of them.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

I'm gonna take a quiz who I would be. Well, that's a good idea. I would want to be Aphrodite.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

I know. It's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

She's sexy.

SPEAKER_00 53:26

Yeah. Armpit apples in 19th century Austria. Before perfume and dating apps, women at Austrian balls would place apple slices under their armpits to soak up their sweat during a dance. If a woman fancied her partner, she would hand him this sweaty apple to eat. Ew!

SPEAKER_01 53:47

That's fucking so gross. And what if they declined your offer? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

That's a great fucking question.

SPEAKER_01 53:55

Napoleon's penis was preserved and sold for around $45,000 to be displayed in a museum of the purchaser's home. $45,000.

unknown 54:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 54:07

Edward II of England was a suspected homosexual and rumored to have been killed by having a red hot poker shoved up his anus. Oh my god, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Yeah, that would really hurt. That's fucking horrible. Catherine the Great employed foot ticklers to get aroused. 18th century Empress of Russia, Catherine the Great, knew all about the seven erogenous zones, and she wasn't alone. Um they had full-time employees in the form of girls and enocs, and their only job was to tickle their feet to arouse them sexually.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

I didn't we talk about it what an Enoch was? No. The people who would they would cut off their male appendages. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:55

I think we talked about that in an episode. The foot ticklers were also tasked with telling their employers obscene stories so they could get in a steamy sex with their husband or lover, and were reportedly well paid for their services and foreplay.

SPEAKER_01 55:12

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 55:12

I don't if somebody was tickling my foot, I definitely wouldn't get aroused. I mean, maybe like a lick of the toe or like a sock, but like tickling, I don't feel like that would I feel like that would just piss me off.

SPEAKER_01 55:27

Yeah. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 55:34

That's fucking weird. A German actor claimed Hitler begged her to kick him for sexual gratification.

SPEAKER_01 55:43

I read that one too.

SPEAKER_00 55:44

I wouldn't be shocked. He was a fucking weird ass fuck. Oh my god, some of the first sex toys were made of stone. Is that where hard as a rock came from?

SPEAKER_01 55:59

Maybe, actually. You might be onto something. Bricked up, maybe. Yep. The Enox. The entire penis and balls was tied off and completely sliced off. This basically left just a hole behind that they peed out of it. It would be really prone to infection for the rest of their lives.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

That's fucking crazy. So back to like the thing you were saying about farts. Apparently, farts caused erections. Keen for a sexy night in the castle. Apparently, chowing down on some bean stew before your nuptials will rock her world. A bizarre myth of farts causing erection likely comes from modern misinterpretations of ancient text. But it says that it suggested the ancient Greek physician suggested that erections were caused by a formal by a fart, a vital air breath entering the penis. Ew.

SPEAKER_01 56:55

I think next time you're like out and about and you want to have sex with somebody, just fart next to them. So they just pop a chub.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

Oh my god. Ew. Medieval chastity belts were a go-to accessory. An outrageous ironclad contraption designed to stop women from having sex with anyone who wasn't their husband. Um, apparently it was like mandated. Jesus, that's fucking crazy, and they're fucking crazy looking. The old chassis belt.

SPEAKER_01 57:26

Yeah, they are like who the fuck wants to wear that? Looks heavy. I think I'd be yoked though. It's kind of like having like those weighted vests that people use now. Yeah, right. For real. The ancient Babylonians practiced religious prostitution. Every Babylonian woman had to attend the temple of Ishtar slash Inanna and agreed to sex with any male that asked her. Once she performed this ritual, the male visitor gave her money to donate to the temple. Oh my god. Vagina is a Latin word for a sheath for a sword. What? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 58:07

Really? It's probably because our vaginas make them hardest swords.

SPEAKER_01 58:12

I knew it. So for our viewers, if you were a prostitute, what would be above your door?

SPEAKER_00 58:18

Yeah, I'm curious. Me too. I'm definitely curious about it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 58:22

Let us know in the fan mail section of this podcast. Well, everybody, thank you for listening to episode 18.

SPEAKER_00 58:29

18. Wow. My frontal lobe developed. Yes, Ashi had a birthday on Friday. Happy 26th birthday to my baby.

SPEAKER_01 58:38

But my maturity didn't. Hell yeah, babies.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

Don't change a thing. Don't change a thing. Change is for the worst. All right. So these are some pretty fucking interesting facts. They are really a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 58:56

I had no idea about this. This was pretty cool. I feel way better about myself. Oh my gosh. I know, right? Literally. Well, everybody, thank you so much for listening to our episode of kinky historical facts. Tell me your kink so I don't have to guess. It can be anonymous. But if it's not, it's okay too. Just a reminder this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed therapists, dating coaches, or role models. We're just two coworkers with microphones and opinions.

unknown 59:27

Perfect.