The Call: God's Voice in my Life (Part 2)

Join Rev. Dr. Aimee Copley Mulder as she continues her story of being called of God.  Are you wondering how to be called of God?  One step in front of the other and keep going!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

All glory to God. Welcome. Today we're finishing the discussion of the call. And I'm telling you my story of how I've been called. So join me now on All Glory to God, Reverend Dr. Amy Copley Mulder, The Call, Part Two.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

All the glory to God. Take three because I messed up the words last time.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Doesn't matter if you're young or alive. All that matters is you answer the door when Jesus comes to change your life.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

And I just give all the glory to God.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

And let's give all the glory to God. Let's give all the glory because He gives us His life time. So it's done, it's the bathtub. So let's give all the glory to God.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

When we last talked last week, last Thursday, I had told you a little bit about my initial calling when I was 15, until when I had gone to another country, Kyrgyzstan, Creative Access Country number two in the Church of the Nazarene, and I was teaching, and God really dealt with his calling on my life then. This continued conversation, you're going to hear about what it was like when I had to leave that country, Kyrgyzstan, because of what happened on 9-11, and just sort of the emotional impact of that. God's redemption always came as He's called me then, called me now, and is continually calling me. So continue to join me in this story of the calling. And then I went to the first voluntary missionary young people meeting, and then there was this guy, six two blue eyes and dimples. And I thought to myself, well, Lord, this is why I came to Kyrgyzstan. This is why Kyrgyzstan, I am in Central Asia to meet the love of my life. And it's got to be this handsome, built, blue-eyed, dimpled person. I kept serving. I kept trying to know who I was. And I kept reading into every word of this young man. I'm sure he means this when he says this. I'm sure when he says, Amy, you'll have to wait till you'll be married, you know, until you know what it's like, that I'm sure that I was thinking, I'm sure he's saying that he wants to marry me. It kind of makes me nauseous now that I'm talking to you about it, that I just really linked my relationship with guys in obedience to the Lord. But the Lord transformed me as I was teaching there in Kyrgyzstan. I um learned more about myself. I learned Russian pretty well. I was able to disciple women that had to sacrifice a lot to become Christians in a Muslim-dominant country. And I became very settled spiritually and peacefully following the Lord. This guy that I absolutely thought I was in love with, and there's a journal full of that love, baby, in my basement, just a journal full of love letters to this gentleman. I never said a thing to him about my feelings. I just kind of brought them to the Lord and laid them at the altar. And I had to evacuate. I didn't get to say goodbye. I just flew back to America. I was deeply angry that I was being evacuated from a place that I considered home, that God had been using me, that I had been stretched beyond. But I was quite damaged by the whole experience. So on one hand, it was this beautiful thing that I had obeyed God more than I ever had in my life. On the other hand, I was trying to fit myself into a box in order to follow this calling of being this kind of missionary on this field. As I came home, I felt a calling again on the British Airways plane. God said to me, as I was angrily pouring out, why did I have to leave? Why did you have me experience this incredible thing and then have to leave it? My heart was breaking. Watching the towers go into the buildings on my you know computer didn't look like anything but a bad movie, and I was so disconnected and just completely in anguish. And God said to me very quietly, Amy, you always said I was all you ever needed. Were you lying? I settled in what do you have for me now, God? And God said to me, You need to get ready and you need to go prepare and you need to be a preacher, a pastor. That is what I have called you to do. In my head, I was getting officially qualified to go back to Kyrgyzstan to fulfill God's mission there, because of course that mission had to have me in order for it to be successful. I came home, lived with my parents for a while, substitute, taught, and then I drove to Kansas City to start my seminary journey at Nazarene Theological Seminary. I hadn't recovered from this grief of having to leave this country I loved and how everybody was mad at me for not leaving sooner and, you know, being an adult, being 24, 25, and you know, I hadn't recovered from any of that. So when I started classes in January, I felt completely inadequate to start any kind of theological education at all. My first meeting at seminary, which I had qualified for, got a scholarship, and you know, I could have studied there. They accepted me. But my first meeting, the the dean talked about ecclesiology, epistemology, eschatology. Um, what's the other one? Excat, I don't know, eschatological. I don't know. I'm like, what are all these big words with E? We're studying something with E. What is theological education? I do not belong here. And as I can't and I started my class, I wanted to get my hair done so I would have a good impression. Unfortunately, I went to my Nana's salon and they stripped my hair bright white. So I looked like some sort of freak show starting my theological education. In the back of my head, I hoped that maybe I could be faithful, but it felt like an absolute, just uncomfortable sweater. Who are these people? I don't know anything. And I know that I talked too much, tried to prove too much. I was just in a bad headspace. And yet I kept going, I kept studying, I kept turning in papers. When I was in a class in Romans, we had to read a lot of books for Romans with Dr. Roger Hahn. I was also the receptionist at the seminary and waiting tables. When I saw Dr. Hahn at the receptionist desk later on that day, I looked at him and I said, Dr. Hahn, Romans is too hard. I'm never gonna preach from Romans. And he looked at me and said, Why do you think you don't belong here? And I started to cry. That time in seminary preparing for the calling of my life became more beautiful than anything I could tell you. I happened to meet a husband who fixed my car and is a brilliant theologian. Thank you to the Lord. And as I was we were driving away one day, I'm like, oh, I asked too many questions in class. He said, Aim, we're paying for these classes. And I never worried about asking too many questions again. We decided that God was calling us to co-pastor. We interviewed our senior year all over, and Port Arthur, Texas was the first church that we decided as pregnant with our first son the call. And there have been moments continually where I always say to the Lord, Are you sure? Are you sure you called me? Don't you know that I that I'm too bubbly, that I talk too much, that I don't listen well enough, that that people, you know, the Lord, why am I this pastor person? Because, you know, there's a lot of there's a big chunk of people that don't like me on site, God. I don't you want some sort of gregarious person that never challenges anybody? What about that person? Wouldn't they be better for the calling? And although there's been some shifts in what I see my calling as, because I will tell you, I probably started ministry thinking my calling was to keep everybody happy and then just read some scripture on the side. Now I know my calling is to follow God, to preach the word faithfully. And as I was ordained, pregnant with our third son, I realized that the calling of God was not just to follow, but it was to boldly take steps into a place I never thought possible. To boldly follow, not because God was calling me, but because he was equipping me every step of the way. When I was in seminary, they had us write up how do we know we're called, what's our calling, what are the nuances of what you're going to do for the Lord? What does it mean to be a pastor? Are you for pastoral ministry? Are you going to be a professor? Are you going to really serve God through compassionate ministries and work at the homeless mission and impact community and all of those questions? And I was so sick of it by the time I graduated. All right, all right, everybody. I'm called. I've written it down, I've memorized it, I've told you twice. I'm good. I know I'm called. And 20 years of ministry later, I have realized that the reason we had to grapple with it, the reason we had to wrestle with the call, the reason we had to continually open ourselves and surrender to the mighty power and calling of God. The reason we had to do that is because there was going to be a day when I doubted that God could ever call me, when I doubted that God could ever equip me. And I needed to know that there was a moment that God called my name and said, Yes, this is for you. And even on days when ministry is tough, when something happens that's heartbreaking, like a life circumstance for my people, or you know, somebody betrays you, or the teaching that you're trying to convey doesn't get the intention gets missed. When all that junk happens, you know, the enemy of our heart and souls wants to say, see, God never really could use you anyway. What were you thinking? And then I remember that there was a day when I was 15 that I knelt at an altar, and there was a moment in a chapel in Houston that I prayed, and there was a moment on the airplane where God said, Don't you forget that I have called you. And even when our best friends leave the church, even when life gets overwhelming, even when that bitterness creeps in when we look at how much we've been paid for ministry, God's still calling. And the question I have for you this this day, as you consider your calling, or if God's calling your name, or even if you're just wondering what God's voice looks like for you, the question is are you going to live your life step by step and never consider that God could have something for you that's over than what you asked or imagined? When I went to seminary to try to prepare for my calling, I was so frustrated and and downcast and I couldn't imagine like what God was up to. And as God brought Devin into my life, and we've been married for 22 years, all I could think of was really God, are you still calling us to continually surrender? Have you heard God's voice recently? Or have you just been listening to all the other voices telling you that the investment you're making by surrendering continually to God isn't worth it? Are you listening to voices that tell you that your abilities could not be used of God? Are you listening to voices that are trying to quiet your voice and shush you up because you're just a little too exuberant or you have opinions that they don't agree with? Do you understand that sometimes when we answer the calling of God, he is calling us to speak out. Sometimes he's calling us to shut up. Sometimes he's calling us to go be friendly with someone that's been mean to us. Sometimes that calling is just an overwhelming sense of just keep going. Do not stop. Keep going. Hold fast to the calling of God in your life. And if there was a moment when God called your name, do not forget that you do not have enough abilities or talents to serve God. But when you give abilities and talents in surrender to the one who created you, he can do more with little than you could do with much. And this beautiful multiplication that happens, when I look around me and I look at my sons and their friends and the school where our kids go and the community that I am blessed to be a part of, the friends I have, the laughter we have, when I look around, God is still calling. Amy, have you made that apology you need to make? Amy, have you gone farther than you want to in that relationship? Amy, have you forgiven lately? Amy, are you so convinced you're right you don't listen to anyone else? Amy, how have you loved people today? You see, when we talk about the call, it's about God calling your name and saying, I don't want you to stay in the status quo anymore. I want you to keep going, surrender everything, and I've got a beautiful plan. And in that surrender, we have to trust that God's beautiful, mysterious work could be done in us and that he could use us this day as you continue to hold fast and step quickly or limp along. I want you to feel the hand of God upholding you and know that he has more to do and say, Lord, what do you have to say to me? And then you will hear that whisper or you'll hear that shout of God calling your name. This is Reverend Dr. Amy Copley Mulder saying all glory to God.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Take three because I messed up the words last time.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Doesn't matter if you're young or wise. All that matters is you answer the door when Jesus comes to change your life.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

All the glory to die, and let's give all the glory to God.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

Let's give all the glory because he gives us his life time. So it's done, it's the bad time give it up. So let's give all the glory to God.