Why I still Love the Church (Part 2)

Aimee Copley Mulder continues her reflections on Why she STILL loves the church!  Join us to talk about the beautiful messiness of caring for each other and the hope that transformation is possible.  The Church is a messy and beautiful thing!

Transcript

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All glory to God. Why I still love the church part two. This is Reverend Dr. Amy Copley Mulder. Why do I still love the church when she's broken my heart? Join me now.

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All the matters if you answer the door when Jesus comes, change the life. And I'll go to God.

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Welcome to the All Glory to God podcast. I'm Reverend Dr. Amy Copley Mulder, and this is my continued episode on why I still love the church, even though she has broken my heart. I'm just so incredibly thankful for the function of the church in my life, but I have been wounded. Just like I talked about last week, the beautiful nature of the church intergenerationally, and we can, the older people can love the younger people, and we're all in this together kind of beautiful ethic of the church. That's an amazing thing. There still is opportunity for us to hurt each other's feelings, to wound each other, to misunderstand intentions. And as a pastor of a small local church for 20 years, and it's just been two congregations, there have been moments of misunderstanding. And you have to work through those. The good news about the church is the power of the Holy Spirit is just this wonderful thing that helps the bride of Christ work together. And Jesus didn't like ascend into heaven and said, Hey, the comforter will come and hopefully y'all get along. The Holy Spirit came on the day of Pentecost and the church was born in order to help us live life together and walk closer to God together. So the church is an intentional emergence of the Holy Spirit of God. So we want to make sure that we don't just cast it aside. I'm sure many of you have heard people say, Well, I love Jesus, but not the church. And I understand that the church has done some weird things to me, and there's been weird instances and just moments of great pain and hurt. But guess what? In the midst of moments of great pain and hurt, there are beautiful moments, and that's why I still love the church. Now, last week I talked about the intergenerational situation of the church, that we have it's one of the few places where we have all of the generations together to help each other. And it's a beautiful thing to have it. And so to continue this and complete this thought about loving the church, even if it's wounded me or I have been hurt by people in the church, and basically acknowledging that life is messy together, but it's worth the effort. I just want to say that one of the things I absolutely love about being a member of a church and leading a church is the nature of helping each other. One of the things I really love about being a pastor of a local church is watching people care for each other. And sometimes as the leader of the church, I have had a hard time letting people take care of me. I have wanted to, you know, pretend like I have it all together and I don't need care, but there have been moments where God's people have really taken care of me and my family. And those moments should be louder than any feelings that got hurt or any issues that I had. So the caretaking nature of the church is an incredible aspect and a beautiful thing. When we went to our first church in Texas, and just to remind you, there's two churches that I've been pastor of. So there's not, it's not an extensive list. Our first church in Texas, there was a wonderful member that helped me and was such a vibrant part of the church. But I remember thinking when we interviewed and met her with all of her energy and joy, I remember thinking if we ever tick her off, or if she is ever upset with something we do, we pretty much are done here. And it wasn't that she she was just a really gracious lady, but she just wanted to make sure things were done her way. So it was kind of like a power broker situation where she wanted to make sure she was in charge of what the church did, I think. I there was an instance where I had to push back and say, this is what we're going to do. I cannot have you do this. It was after a lot of prayer, and it was something I should have, as the pastor, stood against. We're not doing this thing. And over the phone, I remember I was picking up my oldest from preschool. And I remember being in the car and hearing the words, I have always supported you. And if you make this a thing, I will not support you anymore. You know, kind of where this warmth and this beautiful thing of this individual just made my blood run cold. And I just knew that I had to take a stand and just what will come will come. And in that moment of kind of being called out, and don't you dare go against what I say situation, knowing I had to stand up and then knowing that this lady wasn't happy, I just felt kind of crushed, you know. And so I went to Vernon, Vernon and Eileen Cootie's house. And I can say their names because I have absolutely nothing to say, but probably the best people ever. So Vernon and Eileen Cootie. They're 95 when we they're 93 or something when we started there 20 years ago. They're now in heaven. And uh I went, we went over to Vernon and Eileen's house, and she had put dinner together or made us cake or something, and I was just kind of sad. And the boys were playing in her backyard, and I sat on the swing with her, and I just kind of started crying, and I didn't want to talk about it, and I didn't. I didn't talk about it with her. But in that moment, my boys are playing in the backyard, and I'm with this person that really loves me. She just took my hand and said, It'll be okay, Pastor. It'll be okay, Pastor. First of all, she's a 95-year-old lady calling me pastor, which was a beautiful thing in Southeast Texas. Thank you, Lord. Really validated me as a leader. But I just needed someone to reach over and say, I'm here, I'm with you, you don't have to talk. And as I left there, I didn't tell her the problem, I didn't vent, I didn't process it with her, I just needed love. And she knew that's what I needed, and that's what I got. So caring for each other is a beautiful thing that the church gives us. And another time we got cared for. There are amazing people at our church here in Michigan, and their names are Larry and Diane Brown, and they have loved us and loved our family beautifully for 15 years. And when we came here, we thought that if God was so clear about us moving up here, I don't know what Devon thought. I thought if God was so clear that your boys will graduate from the high school across the street, and that's exactly what they're doing, if God was that clear, then God would be that clear and make it easy for us. If God was clear, then the ministry here wouldn't be difficult. And what we walked into was a really beautiful club that really was trying to hold themselves together without Christ being in the center. And so when we kept pushing this group of people, which is a good group of people that was trying to serve God, but they wanted, they weren't really used to having leadership. And they thought pregnant pastor with the other pastor that they wouldn't be leaders, they would just kind of go along with what we were doing. And it was just struggle, struggle, struggle. Everything we did, I thought we did well, and then there was so much pressure on us. Uh we had a glow-in-the-dark Easter hunt and we had like 300 people, but that's what they said they wanted, and then that wasn't good enough. And it was just, I felt like we were just behind the eight ball. Like there was just all these stories and weird things. It just was horrible the whole time. And we had a new baby, and they just, but there was there were people. There was Larry and Diane Brown that had my little boys around their table. And just to remind you, they were four, not yet two, and baby, and they had a beautiful table set for us, and there was venison. And my two-year, not yet two-year-old, like downed that venice. I think he still loves venison this day because of Larry and Diane Brown. And Larry and Diane knew the story. They had been a part of this church. They knew that there was some weird stuff happening. And let me tell you, out of the 40 people 15 years ago that were at Breakwater, a lot have passed away. But Larry and Diane are pretty much the only ones left from that beginning. There's Larry and Diane and about a couple of older people. Um, and Larry and Diane have loved my family. Larry will show up at the church and just take care of something that everybody's been talking about needs to be fixed or repaired. But he doesn't want anyone to know. He's just one of those people that saw my sons and knew he was a pastor's kid, and he was gonna take care of us. And I don't have any trouble letting them take care of us. They knew the story, and I'm gonna claim it for you. We've grown, and there's been a lot of people in and out of our church building for this 15 years, but I feel like our church at Breakwater is on the precipice of a lot of growth. And part of the reason we have this good foundation and we're gonna be okay. Part of that is because of Larry and Diane just being faithful and steady. And that's what Amy and Devin Mulder and our boys needed. We needed steady. And we don't agree on everything, and there's been disagreements, and there's been, there's been emotions in that relationship. You know what I mean? Like it hasn't been like we've always been on the same page. But there is such a there is such a steady. I've got your back no matter what. I hope I'm like that as I keep getting older. Because I've had 15 years with Larry and Diane, and there's so much joy. And this care for each other is what I hope that I try to do for my people. I try to care for each other. I try to care for us. I try to, and and what's been neat to happen lately is I've been seeing my people, at least the last three or four or five years, really take care of each other. I don't have to lead the charge. There's a system of care in my congregation. So if you live in Miskegan, Michigan, and you come to Breakwater Church of the Nazarene one time, and like you have surgery, people will show up with a casserole. Or if your kids are sick, we will pray for you and or or show up with care. There's a system of care. And although there it's messy sometimes, and there's problems and issues and struggles. Every person that's left our church in the last three or four years, the first question I asked as they're telling me they're leaving. I said, Did you feel loved? Did you feel cared for? And all of them said yes. So even as this person is leaving the church family and saying we don't want to be, we don't want to be connected in this relational community anymore, they still were cared for. And I just don't know many organizations like that. I still love the church for the care. And the last thing I want to mention why I still love the church. And I just want to let you know that part of this hurt that I have felt from the church as I've been trying to lead the church. No, I haven't been trying. I've been leading. I've been leading. I'm not sure everyone's followed all the time, but I've been leading. The other thing that the church brings is transformation in Jesus. I have seen people change their lives and fully embrace the life of Christ being in the center, the beautiful life of Christ being central and them still being able. Where you put Christ in the center of your family, Christ in the center of your relationships, Christ in the center of who you are. And I have seen extreme transformations. And I just always want to believe that if people are in darkness, that the light of the church can lead them out. And I don't know any other organization where the goal is that you would just be able to become more peaceful, become more filled with God. That's a beautiful thing that the church does. And it's what we believe in. Now, there may be millions of times where the mark is missed, where people join a church because they just want to come to the potluck, or people join the church because they like to go fishing with the pastor, or people go to the church because it has a good nursery, you know, equipment. I don't know. There may be numerous reasons why people join the church, and they may not be correct, quote unquote, the right reason. But I still love the church because I know that transformation is possible. I know that you can come and your life can be changed. When I met Kirk, he was about 50. And he was a part of our church in Texas. And he was playing guitar for the church. He was a single man, had worked on and off. And in his youth, he had, you know, experimented with drugs and and gone different ways. I think there was a deep story of pain within his life somewhere that I never got to be privy to. When I entered the church and he was playing guitar, I got to talk to him and help him. And then we kind of figured out how can we work together and how can we sing together and how can we work together. And I just can't even tell you how much I love Kirk. What's incredible about Kirk is that he found God later in life, and God was so real to him, it was the beautiful thing of childlike faith. And while we were getting everything ready for Sunday mornings, he would play with little Ford and they would pretend like the floor of the church was water, and Ford was running from sharks, or maybe Ford was a shark. I don't know because I was doing a lot of things, but Kirk kept my kid busy and it was beautiful. And he kept little Cooper busy when Cooper came along. And it was just, he was just one of the people that I will never. I wish I could fly him up here just to get encouragement from him. And people started taking care of him. You know, Kirk dealt with depression and addiction. He was like, Yeah, that's when I saw Jimi Hendrix. One time he was talking about, you know, he's a guitar player. And he's like, one time I saw Jimi Hendrix, I said, Kirk, you saw Jimi Hendrix play? How was it? And he goes, And he said, Well, Pastor Amy, I was pretty stoned, so I don't really remember. And, you know, that's where I kind of kept learning about Kirk's journey. When Kirk's mama died, he wanted to be in the room when she passed over to heaven. And he just could, he, he just couldn't believe that he she waited until they had left. I actually I think I don't know, like people had just gone to the restroom where they were talking to the doctor or something, and that's when she actually passed. And he said, Oh, I wanted to be there to see her meet Jesus. And I just said to him, You were Kirk. You know, I don't know where Kirk would be without the church loving him. He was encouraged to use his musical talents for the Lord. There was just a beautiful, sensitive, warm, caring person that he had tried to push down all his life with addiction and pain and working and trying to be someone that he wasn't. And when he let Jesus transform him, he became the warmest individual I've ever known. And my life will forever be believing that Jesus can transform a life. When Kirk was still in addiction, his sister kept saying, Someday my brother's gonna play on the church platform. That's what she believed. And what's so beautiful? That's what happened. I also believe in the transformative of the power of the church for kids and adults and teenagers. We've seen so many teenagers in and out of our ministry, and sometimes they come back to church, and sometimes they go away and come back, and I just wanted them to know that the door is always open for them to come back and still just be a part of things. I used to be, you know, incredibly sorrowful that there wasn't a youth group, more of a youth group for a church. Because my boy, as my boys got to be teenagers, my my goal was in Michigan to there was gonna be nothing but growth and there would be a youth pastor, and then I my I wouldn't be alone and trying to teach my boys scripture. And you know, unfortunately that didn't happen. So my boys have only had Amy and Devin teaching them scripture. So just like Kirquist changed, I have seen transformation here at Breakwater. When my son was going through a hard time his freshman year, there was this member of our church that just kept praying for him and kept praying for him. And so when he finally, when stuff was revealed and he finally came and trusted God completely like he does now. It's because of that person caring. The church is a beautiful, glorious thing. And I have been transformed. I think I've spoken most of my life and operated most of my life from the gifts that God has given me. I am I am here, I can sing, I can speak, I can look at me, I'm fun, I can plan a party, all of the gifts that God's given me. And the journey here in Michigan has been that your gifts are not enough, Amy. But you can trust God and and praise God, and the gifts are not enough, but you can trust God enough that He can transform your heart. So what has happened in this 20 years as a pastor is I've gone from this performative person, and I wouldn't have told you that. Like, look at what I do for God and have become someone that is that just really tries to submit to God daily and say, God, what are you how could you use me today? Lord, give me conversations where I can speak about God. Lord, may I never forget the blessings and the goodness you have given me. You know, I would be in genuine it would be disgenuous of me to to talk about the church and not recognize that people have said very hurtful things to me. Um they have said that I shouldn't be a pastor, that I should be quiet. Um Devon's been told he's he's loud and nothing but all you are is loud. And you know, um people have said that our marriage has an abusive element, which isn't true. Um just so you know, people have criticized their children. Um I don't know. No, there's just been a lot of junk. People have lied and said we did stuff that we didn't and said we didn't do stuff when we did it. I mean, it's there's been a journey. But I know that through the power of the church and the beautiful way the church can work, that there can be transformation. And so even in the midst of mess, and even in the midst of when people are not the kindest they can be, even in the midst of that, I still have hope that God will use the church I pastor to change someone's life today. And I pray for the opportunity. I look at my congregation every Sunday as I look out, as I'm preparing to preach, I'm thinking of them this Sunday. And I know and I think to myself, maybe this will be the day that so-and-so quits worrying. Maybe this will be the day where so-and-so decides to get up and break the bounds of their own limitations. Maybe this will be the day that so-and-so isn't battling, you know, depression, addiction. Maybe this will be the day that forgiveness is celebrated in that person's life. And so when I look at my local congregation, I have nothing but hope. And the moments when I feel wounded and I'm annoyed with people, and those moments when life is messy, I want to let you know that I will cling to the hope that transformation is possible. So, yes, my friends, you can love Jesus and not be a part of a church. You can. But in a church, you can see the generations connect. You can believe that transformation is possible, and you can see the beautiful offering of care for each other. She's a glorious church. And as I work hard to be a servant to God and a servant to the church that I lead, I submit myself once again to the power of the hope of the resurrection and say, Lord, use me for transformation and help me point to the power that only comes from serving the resurrected Jesus. May the power of God go with you. May you walk in the power of the resurrection. And if you have been wounded by the church, I want to tell you, I am sorry. And that you can come to God and God can heal your wound so that you can serve and live in a church body where life may get messy, but it also is beautiful. This is Amy Coughlin Mulder saying, All glory to God. Grace and peace with you. Join me next week for our continued study on the Sermon on the Mount. And next week's Thursday moment will be about trying to have it all. Why I still love the church. This is Amy Coughley Mulder saying grace and peace and transformation. And most of all, may I leave you with hope.

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So it's done. It's done that time. So that's all the glory to God.