That positivity? It may be toxic

Do you the pressure to be positive no matter what circumstance you're facing?  The pressure to put on a happy face could be endangering the joy of your soul.  How do we live out a life of faith without being fake?  Join Aimee Copley Mulder to discuss practical ways to take every thought captive without being fake.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Do you feel a pressure to be positive? Since you met Jesus, has been there, this pressure to everything's good, nothing's wrong with me. I got this. I know Jesus. I have no problems. That is rooted in toxic positivity and not the powerful scripture that we have been given on how to know God. This is the All Glory to God podcast. This is Amy Coughlin Mulder. I am coming to you and we are going to talk about the pressure of positivity. That positivity, it may be toxic, coming at you now. All glory to God.

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Doesn't matter if you're rich or poor. Doesn't matter if you're young or alive. All that matters if you answer the door when Jesus comes to change your life. All the glory to God.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Do you feel the pressure to put on a happy face and be positive in all things? If you don't, I just want to give you glory for not caving to the pressure. But I don't know if it was where I grew up in the church or just a message that I received inadvertently, but I'm pretty positive no one said to me, You must be positive at all times. But boy, is that pressure there. No matter what's happening, you have to say, well, but God will use this for his glory. Like we have to have answers. So we can't ever have a bad day. A lot of us are born with a positivity streak. A lot of us have sunshine coming out. God gave us that. Some of us are more mercurial and surly. No matter what circumstance we're facing, God is always working. But it is toxic to have the pressure to make everything positive. Because there are some things that happen to us that are hard to spin. The social media highlight reel that we give people, and I fall privy to that. I do try to say when I have a bad day, but mostly it's just my children and isn't this good. And, you know, I most of it is the highlights. It's not me saying, good grief. I couldn't do anything right today. It isn't any of that. So are we living in a culture with when you put it all together with social media and everything? Are we living in a culture where we just have to be positive? You know, people, people kind of don't want us to bring the party down. You're bringing us down. We just want to think about the good things. But a true life and faith is able to talk about the things that got us emotionally, is able to be vulnerable and true. And real friendships, relationships that are rooted in the realness of being human beings together, real friendships can handle a bad day. Toxic positivity says there's no room for complaining, suffering in your relationship with God, because if God saved you, you have to be good. And that can feel like a pressure to completely never need God again because once you were lost, now you are saved, and so you have to be all good. I don't think this pressure is identifiable. I think it's an invisible force that's that tries to squeeze us into a mold of fakery. It's pretty fake to say once you met Jesus, you never have a bad day. And toxic positivity denies your true experience. Now, I want to be clear. I'm not promoting just being in a life of complaining. What I am saying is we cannot tout or proclaim as Christians, once you met Jesus, you never have a bad day. And if you have a complaint or a worry or a struggle, you are less holy. If you are truly spiritual, you would say, you would say, nothing has ever happened to me that I have to talk about because I have God. And because I have God, there's no struggle that is worth mentioning. It is just a really damaging way. What we're encouraging people to do when that's in the air, it's like in the atmosphere. What we're encouraging people to do is say, once you meet Jesus, you gotta turn on a personality because who you are is not enough to be walk around with the victory of Jesus. And that is not scriptural. It is not in the Bible anywhere that we are to always be walking on the sunny side of the street and never know that the shadow is coming. I have just seen so many people suffer with this toxic positivity pressure. Something happened to me at a women's conference where I was just really, really in a heartbreaking moment. My son was sick. The church was, I was having trouble with the church, and just emotionally, Devin and I were not communicating well in our marriage because of all of the pressures up above. So we we were kind of taking it out on each other instead of coming together at that moment. She said, Amy, how are you doing? And I kept a smile on my face. And I said, I am really struggling. I really don't know how I'm standing up in front of you right now. Kept a smile, said the thing. I'm done, I've had it. And she went, Great, and kept moving on. And it's kind of unfair to her to test her like this, but I just admitted the truth while I was smiling and faking it. That is not how I want to live ever again, and it's not how we should be promoting people to live. There is a pressure on social media to have it all together. Like, look at my adorable family. And my family's pretty cute. We're less cute now that we're older. You know, the boys kind of become big, smelly men, but they're still adorable, in my opinion. But um, but there's this pressure, like, look at look at our best days. Look at our best days. And that is too much to live up to. Nothing's bothering us. We're good. It's too much to live up to. And then if you are in the habit of scrolling and looking at how everyone else is doing, you're gonna be like, well, everyone's doing way better than us. And then that danger comparison comes in. And so I am encouraging you this day instead of to double down in toxic positivity, like I gotta be good. I really want you, as a Christ follower, to just realize that the only thing that we are called to do is completely surrender to God so that we need him and he lifts us up and we walk with him. Now that's a big matza ball, because how do you how do you know if you're following God? How what do you do? But this pressure to just be a certain way, this pressure to should, and if you're a mama there holding a baby, or like kids are running around making your house a mess, or you just let everybody off at school and they all hate you, whatever your situation is as a mother, I just want to encourage you that you do not have to fake it. It is time for you, it is time for you to just admit when things are tough. Now, not everybody needs to know your business on Front Street, but if you feel that toxic pressure in a friendship that everything's good, nothing's wrong, I got it good. Isn't life wonderful? I'm happy. No problem. I know Jesus, I have no problems. If you feel that pressure in a friendship or a relationship, I'm not saying drop them, but please find people that you can be real and say, I think I'm wearing yesterday's underwear and I don't know what I'm doing at all. Because this pressure for positivity will steal your soul. Let's look at the Bible. Did God's servants, did the people that God used, were they were they always positive? Did they have it all together? Okay, so we'll we'll kind of I'll just kind of go through the survey. Let's look at Moses. Moses was a murderer. Moses used to be big stuff in Egypt, and he ran away from being a murderer and hid out in the desert. And one day God showed up for him in a bush that never burnt up. It was a wonder. It was an amazing miracle. And then Moses went, Well, God, since you burnt the bush up, I and it's not burning, and you're talking to me through the bush, I will follow you. I will never doubt you again. I will not. Oh, wait a minute. Let's look. He said, Who are you? And he says, I am. Well, what do I tell people you are? Well, I can't go. You got to show me some more signs. And then God does about 12 more signs for Moses. And then he says, But I stutter. And so, well, I'll take, I'll bring your brother. Do you see how Moses encountering God in this powerful way up on the mountain still needed more evidence or conversation or relationship? He didn't. He had a relationship with the God that encountered him in the bush that continued after he came down from the Ten Commandments, and then the people were worshiping a golden calf. And then he still went in the tent of meeting and met God face to face. And his face was radiant every time he encountered God that way. So Moses' radiance, Moses' positivity, Moses' glow came from being in the presence of God. While he was complaining about the people that God called him to lead. Maybe it isn't about never having a complaint. All right, so let's go on to Joseph. Joseph was put in a pit by his brothers to be, and he was lied about and he was sold into slavery. He worked his way up, got pushed down again by a wife that was gonna show him what was up, and then also worked his way up through the prison. I mean, Joseph's roller coaster ride was amazing. And even in the midst of God using him to interpret dreams and to say for the famine, when he meets his brothers, he says, God had his hand on me, and here I am. Come into relationship with me, brothers. Here's some grain. No, he gave himself time and he waited because he knew he had suffered long. And then he says the words that are the words that we could say what you intended for evil, what God used for good. Now that is intoxic positivity because it's admitting that the circumstances were tough, that suffering was a part of the journey. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, they were thrown into the fiery furnace. The furnace was so hot that the guards died. And when Nebuchadnezzar, and when Nebuchadnezzar looked in, he said, Wait, there's four. I thought I only put three people in the furnace. There's four before those children, Shadrach and Yeshach, and Abednego, which are the best names ever, were thrown into the furnace, they said to the king, We believe our God will save us. But even if he doesn't, still we will not bow down to your statue. Even if you see that's life with God. I serve God even if I don't understand the circumstances. I serve God even if life is too overwhelming in this moment. I serve God even if everybody misunderstands me. I serve God even if I don't belong and I'm looking for people that know me and accept me and keep me safe, even if, yes, I will serve God. That is the life of faith. And then when Jesus comes, we get a lot of encounters with God that show that Jesus looks at people that they are worthy. Jesus gives people worth and that doesn't mean that their life is perfect. What it means is that we have Jesus who is in the fire with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. We have Jesus beside us, and uh following Jesus following hard after Jesus, surrendering to Jesus is about so much more than what we do. It's about which part of our heart is open. And you can't get close to Jesus if you have to make sure that everything has a positive spin, and I'll be okay, and nothing is wrong. That's a relationship of falsity. Jesus is there, and he has his arms open and he's waiting for you to really tell him what's going on with you. Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthians, and he's trying to instruct them on life together, but he's also giving kind of a justification, sort of a support or a this is why I minister to God. You know, Paul went through a big journey, had a huge transformative encounter with God. But when he started serving the church and the new believers, the early Christians, they didn't believe him all the way. And his methods were kind of rough and in their face, and so that he just he they they struggled a bit with who Paul was. And so listen to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians. This is a second letter to them. So listen to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians chapter 10. And I'm just gonna read the first eight verses. I myself, Paul, appeal to you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ. I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold towards you when I am away. I ask that when I am present, I need not show boldness by daring to oppose those who think we are acting according to human standards. Indeed, we live as human beings, but we do not wage war according to human standards. For the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. We are ready to punish every disobedience when your obedience is complete. Look at what is before your eyes. If you are confident that you belong to Christ, remind yourself as this that just as you belong to Christ, so also do we. Now, even if I boast a little too much of our own authority, which the Lord gave me for building you up and not for tearing you down, I will not be ashamed of it. This is 2 Corinthians 10, verses 1 through 8. The every thought captive verse has been plucked from this scripture, and kind of what has been said is anytime you have like an uh a complaint or a thought, you need to give that to Jesus and have your thought be held captive. And that's not necessarily wrong. That is what this scripture is saying. It's what Paul's saying to the people. He's saying, your thoughts are important to Christ, and your thought being captive to Jesus may show how you live for Jesus. But when we look at that verse through this entire passage, Paul is saying, listen, we're humans. We don't get to act with human standards because we have divine power, because we believe in Jesus. And just remember that if you say you belong to Christ, just know we belong to Christ too. So it's this incredible thing of that you can tell through this passage that Paul is talking to people who are being told that how they're acting and what they believe is not the correct way, it's not important enough. You can tell that they are under a lot of um strain for living their life in faith. He's also admitting that he's less bold in face to face than he is in his letters. Like that could be quite a lot of us. Maybe I post more boldly on social media than when I see you face to face. But he's saying, listen, when we know that we belong to Christ and that becomes the rooted part of our identity, then what we face is nothing compared to the power of God. Now that is not, has not has nothing to do with, oh, I complained about so-and-so. So Lord, take that thought captive. That has to know with knowing who I am in Jesus. And I hope as a preaching mom or whoever's listening, if you're on the way to seeking Christ or you're on the way to seeing other things, what I hope is that you know to the core of your soul that you belong to Christ. And so when I know that Christ has a place for me at the table, that he has this big recliner that he wants to sit in with me, when I know that it's easy to give every thought to him. And think about this. Think about this. You don't have to gussy up your experience to be in a relationship with God. You don't have to reframe it, you don't have to, you know, put on a new dress. Come as you are to belong to Jesus. And if you have a group of Christians that you are in, keep reminding them that the Christ that you belong to is the same Christ that they belong to, that this beautiful life has so much to offer. And part of the wonderful thing about belonging to Jesus is recognizing that when we're in the fiery furnace, he's right in there with us. And we could come out of that furnace without even a hint of smoke. We could. Can I just tell you those things that you've experienced that are less than awesome, that are gut-wrenching, those words that you've had to face, like cancer, divorce, all of those things they are part of what makes you radically need God. So if you have a pressure to be positive, just remember those friends you meet in scripture. They aren't denying the trouble they faced. Those titans of faith are faith through a hole keep a doubt. And if you're somebody who feels uncomfortable when someone's having a bad day. If you're someone that feels nervous when people are complaining too much. If you're someone who wants to make everything better and wrap it in a bow and but it'll be better in heaven, and and and we don't we don't need to face it if you have that pressure. I really would like you to pray today and ask yourself if that is from the Lord, or if that's just from some random thing that you are clinging on to. I know Jesus, I can never have a bad day. I know Jesus, all things will work out good. We don't need to be fake. To be radically transformed by the power and blood of Jesus. We don't need to be fake to belong to Christ. And even if you just get real with yourself and say, Boy, there's some situations, Lord, I need your presence for because I can't do it. Even if you're just real with yourself in a room. There he is. Saying you belong to me. Complaints and all. And if you're someone that when someone is telling all the problems, you go, Well, you shouldn't be that way. Stop it. Just stop it. Do you have faith? You should be positive. Said no one ever. But maybe you'll be like Shadrach and Abendigo like me today. And say, even if we do not get saved, we will not bow down to your idol. We will not bow down to money. We will not bow down to having it all together. We will not bow down to anyone but the God we name. This is all glory to God. Get rid of that toxic positivity, my friends. And remember, you don't have to be anything but you to belong to Christ.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

This is Amy Copley Mulder saying, even if all the glory that's done. So it's done. It's the bad time to get up. So that's all the glory.