Episode 10: The Body Doesn't Lie and Neither Does the Medicine with Michelle Katz

This one goes deep. Like, really deep.

I sit down with Michelle for a raw, unfiltered conversation about the healing journeys that don't make it to Instagram… the ones that take years, multiple plant medicines, and a willingness to go into places most people will never even admit exist.

They get into 61-day juice fasts and the mucoid plaque nobody talks about. 

Parasites. 

Cholesterol dropping 100 points. 

Chronic fatigue disappearing on day two. 

The physical body finally catching up to the energetic work.

And then it gets ancestral.

Michelle shares what happened when ayahuasca revealed her father's consciousness had been living inside her body… a Holocaust survivor's trapped soul, his suffering, his fear and what it took to finally move him out. 

The death doula. 

The iboga. 

The third ceremony that broke her open completely.

I share about my own, dropping into psilocybin and landing back at 17, healing timelines of trauma I'd buried so deep I'd forgotten they were there.

They connect it all: the microbiome, the lineage, the Age of Aquarius, why we're being called to this level of purging right now, and what it means to be alive 

in this particular moment of planetary recalibration.

Oh, and there's a shamanic dog named Clark who's addicted to cane toads. So there's that. 🐸🔥

Also Michelle’s book is out, Awakening in an Age of Metals, scroll a bit further for the link to pick it up. 

And in the intro… our 1st episode together… Episode 126 Light Warriors Unleashed Podcast the first podcast Michelle and I reference in here can be found on... 

Spotify:  https://acesse.one/9cr63mv

Apple Podcasts: https://acesse.one/vb4m1gp

Michelle Katz is an author, documentary producer, and story coach whose work explores the intersection of trauma, awakening, and the mystical language of transformation. Her memoir, Awakening in an Age of Metals, traces a journey through life-altering illness, spiritual unraveling, and the profound initiation that followed. She is the creator and host of Broken & Healed, a podcast featuring conversations with healers, scientists, artists, and truth-tellers exploring the mysteries of healing, resilience, and personal transformation.

A former producer on award-winning film and television projects, Michelle has spent her career uncovering stories that challenge assumptions and illuminate deeper truths. She is also the founder of Story Is Medicine, a coaching practice devoted to helping others transform their life experiences into powerful written narratives. Michelle lives in the mountains of Idyllwild, California, with her wife, Cate, and their cat, Lou, where she writes, paints, and studies the subtle alchemy of change.

Michelle Katz Writer | Producer | Coach

Author of Awakening in An Age of Metals   

Broken and Healed on Apple Podcast

Broken and Healed Substack 

Michelle Katz IMDB 

@michelle_o_katz

Colleen Lindberg is a disruptor, a catalyst, and a soul-stirring guide for those ready to remember who they truly are. She leads powerful souls through the fire of transformation, helping them dissolve the patterns of conformity, reclaim their divine power, and rise as the leaders they were born to be.

Through her channeling, shadow clearings, and ancestral healing work, Colleen activates deep remembrance in those she mentors, igniting their unique soul blueprints, awakening their ancient gifts, and guiding them to reclaim their birthright of wealth and impact.

With over 16 years as a business consultant and spiritual mentor, Colleen’s work has evolved into a fusion of high-frequency strategy and deep energetic mastery. She’s guided thousands of spiritual entrepreneurs into higher visibility, authority, and wealth, not through grind and hustle, but through energetic precision, embodiment, and unapologetic self-expression.

A multi–5 figure per month entrepreneur for over a decade, Colleen now anchors consistent $50K+ months, guiding her clients to do the same on their own terms, in their own power, and with massive impact.

You can find her on Instagram
 https://www.instagram.com/thecolleenlindberg/

You can find her on YouTube as well
 https://www.youtube.com/@ColleenLindberg

Desire to Activate your Soul’s Mission? 

You can download a free light language activation here to do that.. 

https://lightpreneurs.kartra.com/page/lightlanguageintuition

And some of her current offers can be found here:

https://linktr.ee/lightpreneurs

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Welcome to the It's All Bullshit Podcast. You are in the right space if you are desiring truth to live in alignment, to live in your own sovereignty, and to literally connect in with messages, podcasts that are in that alignment as well. This podcast is going to expose it all. We do not hold back, we bring in all the concepts when it comes to the aspect of truth, and we call bullshit on all the things that are going on in that transparency in the world. So if you enjoy this kind of shit, welcome to the It's All Bullshit Podcast, hosted by yours truly, Colleen Lindbergh. All right, beautiful humans, welcome back to the It's All Bullshit Podcast, episode 10. And so I have a special treat for you guys today. So back in the day, last year, it was actually last year, Michelle Katz and I got together to record an episode on my other podcast called Light Warriors Unleashed. Some of you know the podcast, you were following the podcast. There's over like 130 episodes over there on that podcast. And we did an episode, it was episode 126, and I'm gonna have the links in the show notes if you want to go and listen to that before you dive into this one. You don't have to, but you can. And we had committed to doing a second episode, which we recorded, but I never launched live. And her book just came out recently, and I just sent her a message this week. I was like, look, are you okay if I move it into the It's All Bullshit podcast instead? Because we're dismantling health systems, we're talking about plant medicine journeys, we're talking about spiritual awakening and all the things that would be juicy as fuck for this brand as well. And she said, absolutely. So what I'm actually gonna do is I'm gonna merge the episode that never got launched from the Light Warriors Unleashed podcast into here. And so some of the things might be a little bit dated in our conversations because it was from last year, but her book is out. Uh, she was co-creating it then at the time. It's edited, you can buy it on Amazon. We'll have the links obviously in the show notes for you guys to be able to do that. But she is a powerhouse leader in connection with her own journey of health and the systems that she worked through and calling bullshit on all the infrastructures that were trying to contain her into her own illness journey, let's just call it. So this is a treat. I told you guys I'm gonna be launching into some guest episodes purposely chosen that really align with the brand of the podcast. But I can't wait to deliver her here to you today. So if you guys are watching this on video, obviously I'm filming this like a year later. So I'm even gonna be different, which is even gonna be fun for some of you guys to listen to in the space of my own evolution and where I am at today and all the things. So I'm so grateful for this. But no further ado, here you go. Episode 10 of the It's All Bullshit podcast. Let's fucking get it. Okay, so Michelle and I recorded a whole podcast at the beginning without hitting record. Let's put it that way. You know, like obviously I already did the intro. Everyone knows you're back. I'm excited to really lean into the conversation we're gonna have today through plant medicine. But we were you were just telling me about where you were when we recorded the last episode and some things that you've done. So I want you to just take the reins and go with that because I want to know, and I'm I'm sure the listeners want to know too about the journey you've been on. So go for it.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

So I I remembered as we were talking, and you were telling me about the parasite cleanse, which I'm very, very familiar with all kinds of a whole spectrum of parasite cleanses because I've been doing them for so many years. Um, but right when we did our last podcast, I was on, I'd say, day two or day three of my refeed from having done a 61-day juice fast.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Now, normally juice fasts like the one I did are only 40 days. That's like the norm for people to get all of the mucoid plaque out of their gut. Now, in the health world, mucoid plaque is considered the holy grail. Like if you release mucoid plaque, then you have done the thing. Like you have done the extraordinary thing that all people who have chronic conditions want to do because this mute and you really can't believe it until you see it. Like you, it's really hard to wrap your head around until it's like the parasite thing, until you're actually doing it, and you look at this material that has come out of your human body, and you're like, that is not cool. That is black and rubbery and tar-like, and it smells like many generations of death. And how has it been in my body all these years? Yeah, and I didn't know about it. So um I released um now this is like you know, you might want to put a warning of graphic content on this on this episode, but there's always warnings on these episodes, so you know, like in all different things. That's why I love this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

I could just like one while Yeah, every episode has an E, doesn't even matter. So an E in one way, an E in another way, it's all good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

I I love it. So yeah, so I released released muid plaque for 51 days straight, which is really epic.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

And throughout that fast, um I completely got rid of this ringworm that I had had on my hand for 10 years. Um, I my vision got better, um, my skin completely changed, I lost 15 pounds, my chronic fatigue disappeared. And then when I took my next set of labs, I was able to see them back to back what my labs looked like while I was on the fast and what my labs looked like just recently. So while I was on the fast, my um cholesterol was still as it was, very, very high. It was 266. My LDL, which indicates bad cholesterol or possibly heart disease, was 187, which is very high. On the next set of labs I took, which was six weeks later, my cholesterol was 166. It had gone down 100 points.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

My LDL went from 187, which again is very high, to 102, which is pretty much normal. Yeah. And then I was coming off my thyroid meds very rapidly. So I didn't know what was going on because my TSH, which indicates um how your thyroid is producing thyroid stimulating hormone, it was still very high on the fast. It was 3.7, which means, oh, hey, you need medication, but I was already on medication, so I didn't want to go any higher because the idea is to come off.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

So I just let that be. But then when I took my labs last week, it showed that I had gone into hyperthyroid. So now the medication I was on was so much more potent than what I needed because my thyroid um was healing itself. So all of these incredibly oh, and I had chronic back pain for two years that went away day two of my fast. Yeah. It just I just and it never came back.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Yeah, so good. It's incredible what can happen. And these are the things that like Michelle and I talked in the first episode about her journey and discovering. And we just had a conversation about a friend of mine that literally purged cancer through parasites out of her body and the inflammation that was created through just worms and parasites and the shit that gets stored in our body. It's just like you, the purging through the juice fast. And it's like, I don't think people really recognize the power of what we have access to because all of this is holistic. It's not medicinal, like from a medicine of pharmaceutical companies. It's all from the earth. Like if you think about your fast, it's all fruits and vegetables that you use inside of a space of everything. Just like the parasite cleanse that my girlfriend used and the one I'm about to go on too, it's it's all from holistic parts of our land. Like, and to recognize that it's just crazy.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Yeah. I mean, you know, it was I drank two to three gallons of juice a day. And the enzymes in the citrus, because they're two different juices, one is a ginger green blast, which um really kind of cleans out your digestive tract. And one of them is a citrus juice, and the citruses actually break down that mucoid plaque so that you can just be releasing it. So all of the disease in our body essentially exists in this trapped place between the mucoid plaque and the colon. That's where the parasites are, that's where the lime is, that's where the candida is, that's where the fungus is. So when you start releasing the mucoid plaque, there's no place else for those things to go, but out. Out, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Yeah. And it's like I actually, you know, and this is the kind of a grossy weird part to me. So I was that kid that, you know, when I was younger, I used to go scrape my knees on the sidewalk on purpose so I could put peroxide on it to watch it foam. Like literally, that's the stuff I used to do. So, like, I'm about to go into this parasite cleanse knowing that I'm gonna be looking into the toilet to see what has been released through that because I want to see it, you know, and I'm just like, and it's I'm weird, but I'm also like, like the visuals are so intense, you know?

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Oh my god. I mean, I I have to say, I did like everybody else who releases mucoid black, I took pictures and I was like, uh, this is a foot and a half long, and it came out of me. It looks like nothing else you've ever seen. And what's really interesting to me is that I've had doctors and other practitioners say, I've never heard of mucoid black. So that is troublesome because again, mucoid black is the essentially, and that's not to say that there's no other way to get better, but when you are parasite cleansing or juice fasting, you are um releasing this stuff in one form or another, you know, like it's if your parasites are coming out, then at some point your mucoid plaque is coming out because they kind of have to, they go hand in hand. So that is the key to healing the body or removing the obstacles because once you start removing the mucoid plaque, then your body, like suddenly I was absorbing all of my nutrients and my hair started to grow like a weed and my skin like became like a baby skin, and my wife was like, What is happening to you? You know, like you're like a teenager again, and your vibration is like so incredibly high. Because think about when you're like six, right? There's nothing that's stopping what you take into your body from being absorbed into your system, into your bloodstream. You eat an apple, you eat a pear, you eat anything, or you have sugar. Like whatever it is is amplified. Yeah, it is. Because there's no blocks.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Well, and we were talking about this. So when, because this episode comes out after the the parasite episode that I actually launched, like back at the beginning of March. And um, and if you've never listened to that, you guys need to go back and listen to that episode. I think it's episode 124. It is like we talked about the spiritual, like literally the vibration when parasites are in the body, are dropping the vibration of the physical form.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

So it is more challenging for us to connect. We are like it is in the space. So when you release all of this out of the body, it's like then all of a sudden it just opens up the the the palate.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

So oh, there's such a you know, and and to to um connect it back to plant medicine, when um I first did my very first uh ceremony, I had been mercury toxic for many years at that point. I had only just started understanding and diagnosed. I was only just not long before the trip, maybe just a few months, I had been diagnosed for the first time in three years with something, with mercury poisoning. And I was able to actually take hair tests and gauge and see like what was going on. And it was really the testament, the power of the plant that I was using, the ayahuasca, was such that when I went to Peru, I already knew that I had very high levels of mercury, but nothing was showing up in the aluminum. It appeared like, oh, okay, I got off easy, all I got was mercury. No, when I finished my four ceremonies in Peru and I took another hair test, my aluminum levels were through the roof, which meant plant medicine was chelating. Yeah, yeah, just pulling the metals out from my bones from places no test can get to.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Right. Yeah, it's so powerful. I've actually I have a client of mine who loves to travel, and randomly last year I just said to her, hey, there's this retreat center, it's an ayahuasca retreat center in Peru that I've been kind of eyeing on Instagram. I'm feeling called to go in October of this year and go root into like a 10-day ceremony there and then go hike up Machu Picchu when we're done. So do like a two-week experience. And she says to me, I'm in. And I'm like, and she's like super cool, like very hippie kind of energy. Like she would just, it would be the exact person that you would want to do this kind of trip with. And so I I have never been to Peru yet. Um, it's part of like a calling of mine, and it's really fun that I had a clearing done from someone who doesn't know me at all. And she goes, Um, Manchu Picchu is calling you. And I was like, I know, see, I'm fucking been channeling this shit, you know. Like, and I'm just like, she goes, You had a lifetime there. And I'm like, I know I did. So I I get like the medicine of ayahuasca. I've I've already done ayahuasca once, and I knew the next environment would show up for me where I needed to revisit her and kind of drop into that space with her. And I feel like it's coming this year in a very tight container of energetics, not just a one time or a two-night, like it's like uh we're we're doing this together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Wow, that's gonna be, I mean, that's gonna be so powerful because the energy and the medicine coming through the Shepibo culture and the Shepibo shamans was I had never been exposed to anything like that at the time that I went down. And again, my body was so riddled with Western, not just Western disease, but Western spiritual disease. Yes. I had been, you know, at that point, I was, you know, in my mid to late 40s. I'm I was probably about 45 or 46 at the time. So I spent a lifetime um growing up in the culture I grew up in in, which was a very traumatized culture. My parents were immigrants, they are were Holocaust survivors. Um, we grew up in this steeped in this deep, deep ancestral fear and trauma. I took that on the road to Hollywood, you know, which is uh rife with its own kind of trauma.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

I got all the layers showing up.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

All the avenues for like spiritual poison, right? And I carried those layers and layers and layers of just cultural just sickness with me to Peru. And I thought, and I was sick, I was physically ill. Like, how am I gonna get to this place in Pucalpa? Like, I'm by myself and I'm still um, you know, my brain and cognitively, I was still in very poor shape, even though I had been chelating and detoxing for, you know, six or seven months at the time. But like as I said, unbeknownst to me, there were all these metals that were buried deeply in. I hadn't even begun the parasite cleansing. I was just doing the metals.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

And uh I I I honestly hadn't even scratched the surface. And and had I known the power of ayahuasca and what like uh well, had I known a lot of things, I should back up. You know, I mean, a lot of things were like I was oblivious to on that first trip because I was living in that very three-dimensional, um, you know, narrowly informed mindset, I should say. Um it wasn't that I wasn't educated, it wasn't that I wasn't, you know, um uh informed about the world. It was that there was a whole universe, a whole spectrum of things that I could never have even wrapped my head around.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

It's amazing what it does to just like like you can't even like, and some people are super scared in the space of it's like you get called to the medicine. You know, like because I'm sure like how Peru landed on your plate was an also a divine intervention. That how did it how did it? Like, let's talk about that just because I think that that's imperative for some people to hear too.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Oh, it was so bizarre, and um, I feel like this is like a whole chapter in in my book because it was so strange how it all happened. So I got super sick, I couldn't work, I had to um wrap up my house and move out and rent it so that I could like have some money. And I got it in my head. We may have talked about this, I'm not sure. I got it in my head I was gonna bali and find like a bali and healer and find somebody in a cave that was gonna like totally know what was going on with me. And I went to the East Coast, my mom was still living at the time in my childhood home in Staten Island. Yeah. Um, which, you know, my bedroom was still perfect, you know, all of the things were like still exactly they were when I was in junior high, um, lavender wallpaper, you know, a trundle bed, the whole thing. And I thought, is this how it ends? Is this how the story of my life ends? Is that I go back to my childhood home in Staten Island. So I went back there and I didn't really have um the funds or the resources to go to Bali for as long as I wanted to go there. So I ended up getting on a television show that was local that happened to have been being produced in Staten Island. And I worked on that, you know, and it was it was a little bit rough for me to work around like my physical stuff, but it was I was able to function just enough so that I could manage, you know, to handle the show. And at some point during the show, I think I was like walking around my neighbor, my old neighborhood, walking around my old grammar school, my junior high school, and I got a call from a friend that I hadn't been in touch with for many years. And I looked at the phone and I was like, this is weird. And I picked it up, and um, he had been an addict for a really long time and we lost touch. I remember and yeah, and he just was like, Yeah, I did this thing called ayahuasca and it totally healed me. And now I'm getting married. And I thought, really? Like, that is one of the more shocking things I've ever heard in my life because he was in really bad shape for a really, really long time. And it seemed like one of those stories where he was just caught in this loop and it was never really, he was never really able to find his way out. And I came home, I got online, and I said, like, what is ayahuasca? And and when can I go? Yeah.

unknown 19:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

And I found this, I found Nimia Kaya. Yeah. And I read all the testimonials and I booked my trip. Um, and I thought, I will find a way to get down there. Like, I will find a way to physically manage to make it down there. And I flew to see my mother and my niece in Florida, and then my niece took me to the airport and she said, I'll put you on my phone so that I know like if you disappear, you're kidnapped or something. Because I was like really paranoid about leaving. I was paranoid. I was like, I'm not gonna be okay. I'm gonna get lost in the jungle. Like, you'll never hear me again. And at that point, I was still so sick and miserable and alone that I was sort of surrendered to that. I was like surrendered to anything that might occur during these ceremonies, although I really didn't understand the gravity of like what I was actually walking into with the kind of um the kind of thing I was carrying on me. And did we had we gotten into the consciousness of my father?

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Yes, we did tap into that. Um, and um, but there's a story that you wanted to share in connection with plant medicine, I believe, with your dad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Okay. So this was where it got very, very deep and thorny um during during my retreat in in Peru. Um during the third ceremony, um, unbeknownst to me, my butther's consciousness when he died, I was only a few feet from him. It got entrapped in my body.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Um, I didn't know anything about what that even means. So all I knew was like I was, I was, I was just very sick, and I was as sick as I had been the day he died, you know. It was maybe a little bit better because I had been key laning, but not a whole lot. And so we got into the third ceremony, and um I did what I did the first two ceremonies. I took the, you know, the the correct dose that I thought for me. I set my attention. Um, I waited a while, you know. The medicine kicked in and at some point in that ceremony, somebody uh lit up a mopacho cigarette and blew a tremendous amount of mopacho into my face, which was a huge amount of smoke. And this triggered the reliving of my father's experience during the Holocaust when he was a child. Oh wow. So I smelled and I heard I felt on the deepest levels imaginable the trauma that he went through firsthand during this. And I and he had COPD, so the smoke um started to make me choke. Of course. And I was I was choking up and coughing up um almost like um big blocks of energy that felt like you know, physical.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Yeah. Well, only can he imagine, like let's just dissect that for a second, like yeah, his childhood being there and what he had witnessed and was a part of. And I can only imagine the smoke if if was he in a concentration camp?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

No, he was in the camp, but the he was hidden. He was hidden for two years behind a false wall.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Yeah. So like I I can only imagine what that would have felt like and the visceral experience of what he held in his body that he never moved out because we weren't doing this stuff back in the 50s, 60s, you know, like it just like it never consciously was brought forth and how it was so tied into you. Wow. And to be able to heal your lineage line through that experience of that energy too, like and all the spiritual aspect of this is powerful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

It was it was unbelievable. It's like when we first uh, you know, were they were doing the physical facilitation of like the things to do during ceremony, like if you ever run into problems, knock on the floor, stay in your own mat, stay in your own energy. You know, if you really, really are having a problem, we'll take you into the back room so you can have your own space. And I remember thinking to myself, hey, I would never ask for help by knocking on the floor. That's not who I am. And there's no way I'm so composed. No matter what's going on, I'm a really composed person. There's no way I would ever need to like be taken, you know, away from the room. And meanwhile, I was like freaking out, you know, screaming. I mean, they literally, I believe one of the male facilitators carried me into the back room so that I could not get, you know, scare other people and be infiltrated so much by the energy because I found that the energy from a lot of the other people was mixing in with my um my experience. And I was such an open portal that I was um I was almost transported to the places of trauma, uh, not only of my father, but of all the other people who were in um in the group. And the I can't even tell you how visceral the experience was. Like I um I was for the first time in my life in his shoes. I was in his soul because his was in mine uh for this period of time. So the theme of the five years that I spent doing plant medicine, starting from ayahuasca and going all the way through Iboga, including buofo and combo and all mushrooms and all of the things, the theme of it was really the um healing and the release and the sort of um transmutation of my father's um experience as a Holocaust child Holocaust survivor. That really was the the crux of all of these chapters. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

It's um the work, just like I just like you can't like, you know, the work I did with psilocybin last year, um, literally it's a year ago, like almost today, the day we're recording, that I dropped into ceremony because I was I felt like I was consciously being blocked in some way, shape, or form. And I dropped back into when I was 17, and I didn't consciously know this because I had protected myself where I had gotten gang raped. So I went, so psilocybin took me right back there, and I was like, oh my God, I remember this now, and all the pieces. And then I went and healed all these lifetimes of trauma and torture and other rape scenarios where I had been in all these multiple lifetimes. And literally after ceremony, and just me and a friend and our facilitators, just the two of us, and our facilitator was Peruvian, so she was a beautiful, she grows her own mushrooms, and it was such a sacred ceremony. But I came out of ceremony, felt like I went to war, and literally my hair had a ponytail like this, but it was like one little piece in the little like thing, and my hair was just like everywhere because it was like I was in war battling and yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

And you know, that's remarkable because if you if you experience that during psilocybin, which I've experienced and I know can be really possible, uh but if you experience that during psilocybin, I can only imagine what your experience is going to be uh when you go down to Peru and you're you're you're immersed because I found that the um Shepibo shamans, the pair, they came in pairs, it was husband, wife, and then brother and sister alternating ceremonies. Um when they came and sat at my feet, um, because they would come to each person during the ceremony and they would sing their own uh uh you know brand or their own version of the icaros, which was sort of tailored. My my under my experience of it was that that chapter of the icaros or that refrain or verse that they were on was like uniquely tailored to the journey that you were in. So they were singing, you know, the transformation and the transmutation that your soul was going through. And I was communicating telepathically with them, and the one of the shamans just bent over at that point it was my father, it really wasn't me. Yeah, of course. Yeah, and the one of the shamans just bent over and just started crying. And he was telling me telepathically that he was crying for what my family had been through. Been through, yeah. Yeah, it's and yeah, go for it. So I want to really know I'll be really intrigued as to like how deep, you know, your experience like will be if you were you're so open and energetic and tapped in that you can have experience like that, you know, and remove that kind of black block with psilocybin. What is gonna happen when you're immersed in the lineage of of those Shepibo shamans?

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Like, oh wow, it's like so. I did my first ayahuasca experience with um a Brazilian tribe that came up from Brazil called the Yahuana tribe. And they're very well known in the world. Most people know them, like they actually have social media followings and stuff. Like they got, and I I didn't so just like you, naive, uh, literally on a Tuesday, my nurse came over to give me some of my vitamins through IV. And the last time she was over, we had talked about ayahuasca, and it never came into my awareness before this. Like it was just a thing, and I was like, Oh, that'd be cool. I kind of heard about it. I literally had no clue. And she said, Hey, they're doing a ceremony at this retreat center on Saturday. Let me see if they have space. And literally they did, and I said yes, and that was it. Like, I didn't do any research, I really had no idea what I was getting into. Like, I like I didn't even consider anything. I just said yes. So I get into this event venue and there's 50 people there. It's super tight too. Like, literally, the guy beside me was like on my mat. Like I had no personal space at all, and it was just a thing. And it was like uh I was the only person in the whole entire place that had never done ayahuasca before. So I got I got brought up first. I had a special blessing from the chief's son. Like it was, and everyone after was like, oh my God, I can't believe you got this blessing. And I was like, what do you mean? Like I'm just so naive, no clue. Later on, I go to look, they have albums on Spotify, like they're super well known and spaceable. And I I met ayahuasca and everyone told me it's such a beautiful experience. It's so beautiful. After the second medicinal dose, I was like, what the fuck is beautiful about this shit? Like I'm in the depths of the darkness. I'm seeing, like, I see it so crawling in tar, like I'm covered in tar, and I just kept hearing you need to let go. And I was trying to get it out of my body, and my body wouldn't get it out. Like I was trying everything to get it out, and I couldn't get it out. And then finally, when I surrendered and felt the energy of that, she just said to me, You need to go dance. And they played music all night, and I managed to get up, which is shocking. And, you know, to be able to like kind of dance like this until I was able to let go into my body, and then I started channeling all the music. I knew all the words because I had lived a lifetime in this tribe and done all these ceremonies with others, and I didn't realize it. And people after were like, How did you know the words to the songs? I was like, I don't know. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, and then I took the third, I did take another dose, and then I dropped into the creative side and an album came through and the mission I was on, and it was a beautiful opening landscape. But it's gonna be interesting to see where I go when I'm in a container, like held for a certain amount of days, and we're dropping into ceremony every few days to release it. And you know what's so fun is a heron just landed on the house across and is looking at us in the window now. Like it's almost like I haven't seen him in a while, and he's back and he's like, Hey, I'm here, and because I just saw his wingspan fly in, and he just like literally landed on the roof across the street. So it's kind of fun. Well, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah, so that's uh that that's a message for us. And as you were speaking, I was thinking, you know, I sort of uh because it's been a long time since I was in that um chapter, right? I mean, uh the last ceremony I did was last December, and I very much knew that it would be the last one for a while because I knew I was I was now transitioning into the physical healing, the the healing of of the body. Um but it just it sort of reminded me of especially the dancing part. Yeah, you know, it's it's like it reminded me of like that really liberated, surrendered, kind of just letting go, which is really where the magic happens, right? In the letting go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

I totally agree with you. And I think it's the hardest part. So it was almost like ayahuasca opened the door that way for me. And she was like, We like I went into the depths of me of like, you're such a selfish bitch, and da-da-da-da. And I saw all these moments, you know, and I was like, Oh my god, I can't even believe that I manipulate, like, and like you know, you go there, and then I could I could breathe again, and then I was like, okay, I could breathe again. And I'm like, I don't think I want another dose. And then all I heard was you need another. And I went, okay, I can do this, you know, like in the space of it all, because it is that like you we have all these layers that we're working on and all these energies, like your father's energy, you know, and that whole thing moving through. So uh it's just like the whole like you can't even describe to people when you're called, you know, and then you just show up and you go where you need to go.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

You know, the whole thing was it was so strange and it was so um, it was such a it was such a trap chapter in my life that I can always look back on because that was the beginning. That plant medicine, those ceremonies in Peru opened a door that I could never close again, right? Like I could never not see um the truth uh after I had been through the ceremonies. And it wasn't just the thought my and and the other thing is that it took me many, many years to realize that it wasn't that I was channeling my father, it was that his consciousness had become attached to me. And it took some work with a death doula to actually move him out of my consciousness and move that heavy. I always said I felt like I had about 160 pounds of uh uh of dead weight on my shoulders, and I didn't really even know what I was saying. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

But when once he moved out, and once this death doula experience, you know, she was very I wrote um a short story about it uh called The Red Tailed Hawk. And he said to me during the ceremony, you know, sometimes I'm in um in the form of a red tailed hawk, and sometimes I'm like in your body, and I don't mean any harm by it. He he said, but I didn't want to die and be with them. So he was talking about the people that had brought him um so much pain and brought his family so much pain because, you know, I I think the the idea is that when we transition, we all go into spirit form, regardless of what role, you know, what character form and what hardships you either took on or gave to other people, abuser or abused, right? You all we all kind of go into the same um the same sort of energetic uh space, but um with different lessons to learn about the life that uh we had lived and the things we had done. And so he had explained to me through this death duela that he didn't want to go there and he didn't want to be with them. So he chose to be in this uh limbo state, which meant being attached to my physical body. And so we kind of coaxed him, uh, me and the death duel, I just sort of coaxed him to go towards the light and sort of release himself. And when I went and did iboga, I sat down with them and I said, listen, this is the first ceremony doing since my father was released, and I don't know if he's gonna come back. I don't know if he's actually gonna be in me again because I I just don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

And they were like, it's it's okay. Iboga will not let that happen. I was like, well, I ayahuasca let it happen and and you know, Bufo let it happen and Kambo let it happen. So is it about the plant medicine? Does the plant medicine decide? But as it turns out, during iboga, he came, but he was only um an observer. So I was able to coax him out because he wasn't still attached to me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

I actually do work, um, we call them earthbound spirits. So I actually do work with this type of energy to help people clear stuff. I part of my work is called called dismantling the shadow. So, like I do a lot of clearing work that way. Even I play in the realms of demonic spells, curses, and stuff and releasing people from that kind of work. So when you say this, totally get it, totally understand all the dimensions of this. And I want to make one comment about um the souls on earth. So here's the thing about the earth experience is that we have duality. So we come to earth to learn things, so therefore, someone has to teach us or bring forth the opportunity for us to be taught the things that we're here to learn. So therefore, there is that duality, that shadow. But they've contracted that out, which means that they said that I will be the rapist or the murderer in this life so that you can learn that lesson because you need that to have happen. And it doesn't mean that their souls are negative souls. It just means that they said yes to the contract. And it's it sucks some days to think about it that way. But there's still a lot of people that we look at in power and office right now that are doing some shit and you're like, fuck that guy, and all the things. And it's like, wow, they're playing their role really well because you're now activated to actually step up and do something that that's part of your mission to be able to lead. And if they weren't doing that, then you might still be sleeper agents not moving around life because nothing's activated that in you.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

So I love so interesting.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

Yeah, I love how you brought that forth of like, it's true, like all the souls are there, and the ones that created this experience for your father for all these hundreds of thousands of people are over there as well. But there's a contract that came through. And it's like it's sad to think that we have to go through that and that people have so much pain, but it's also why we came to Earth is to move through that and to learn it and to shift energies, you know?

SPEAKER_01 39:00

So it's, you know, it's such a powerful first of all, that's such powerful work that you do because I think one of the most difficult, and I have to admit, um, the evolution process is painful. And I can't really say on all days, you know, or even on a majority of days, I am as evolved, you know, as I feel like I should be, you know, with all of this work that I've done, because I'm still in the um rebuilding of my microbiome. I'm still in the physical healing of um being on this raw food diet, which um is the way that I've transitioned on this, on this particular path I'm on. I've transitioned from the juice fast, which is cleaning out the microbiome, right? And when we clean out the microbiome, we are releasing the trauma that lives for generations and generations and generations in that microbiome. So this was my way on the physical level of taking all of that I learned in plant medicine and actually translating it to my physical body. Okay, how do I actually cut this cord?

SPEAKER_02 40:10

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

How do I release literally ages and ages and generations of trauma that inform my psychology, you know, the survival aspect of it, the hunger aspect of it, the trauma and fear aspect of it? I'm honestly still, I'm still doing it because, you know, food is a big deal to me and into my culture. And it was very every day, every day is a little bit of a okay, Michelle, you can't really have anything that like is comforting, really. You can have raw fruits and vegetables, you can have nuts and seeds, but you can't have anything cooked, you can't have anything sauteed, you can't have a baked apples. Like this is really stripping. No wine, no, you know, coffee. Coffee.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah, coffee. Oh, yeah. Because it's roasted, so it doesn't even cut like you could go get the beans if you wanted, but like yeah, roast them. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Yeah, you could munch on them, not sure how good that would be, but I don't know either.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

But I've had I there's because I obviously live in Costa Rica, so like coffee's a thing, and there's this plantation, this beautiful family plantation that I've visited, and I go every week to the market to get their coffee because they literally roast the beans the day before they bring them. It is like I I'm a coffee snob now. Like I don't know how I would ever go back to North America and to drink to drink that coffee. I don't even know, you know?

SPEAKER_01 41:39

On a million, on a million levels, like when I was in Costa Rica, I really felt like I mean, I went there to do um iboga, but I really felt like um there was a level of freedom um and space, you know, that I felt in Costa Rica that I hadn't felt in the US in many years. And it was um it was a great place. That was sort of the end, the culmination. Iboga um was the culmination in a way of this chapter from 2018 to really 2024, basically, of of of plant medicine and the kind of the healing um process. But if you want, we can we can travel back to the the thing that happened after ayahuasca, which was bufo.

SPEAKER_02 42:30

Yeah, let's talk about that uh because I haven't I haven't dove into bufo on this podcast, but I do have like my dog. So I have cane toads that like they're really dominant here, and they're supposed to hibernate eight months of the year. They don't in my yard. And my dog is addicted to cane toad and the bufo medicine. It comes from the actual toad, right? And literally he goes out like so. Now we have a whole protocol, but he goes out at night and he'll find them, and then he'll lick the toad that has the protection, like the buffo seeps out of the fucking toad, and then he gets high, and he comes in and he's all high, but it's all toxic for the dogs. Within 15 minutes, their whole nervous system will shut down. So I've got a whole protocol that I have to go through of activated charcoal and raw milk and wiping his mouth, and he just walks like you should see him. He is out in the ethers, because you know it just goes boom and it takes you right out into the ethers, and it's like he's special, you know. I just want to say he's special, you know.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

So my god, so he's like this like shamanic dog who's having these um out of body, sort of like ethereal, like really crazy uh journeys.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

Oh yeah, yeah. And it's it's actually hilarious to watch if you weren't in a situation of like needing to save his life because he could die. And but it's like one of those things where I just look at him, I'm like, Clark, like his name's. Clark, right? So it's even better that his name is Clark. And if he's like Superman, and he just looks at you and he just like kind of waddles over. He doesn't know what to do. Like he walks around in these circles like he has no idea about life and he's trying to figure it out. But there's something about the smell. And even Lily, my other dog, isn't as dominant that way. If I call her back, she'll come because she just knows. But it's like he just has the itch. Like he's gotta go get it. Like he's addicted, like cocaine. Like he's like, I need, I need to go get my hit. It's crazy. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

Oh my god. I I I guess I didn't realize because I know that the snoring tog toad is um like um rare, you know, they're they're hard to find. And and there's like a whole actually thing, there's like a whole war going on apparently between the southwest and and Mexico in terms of being able to keep preserve the snoring tone toads because people are obviously using them to harvest the buffo. So yeah, I didn't realize that they were prevalent where you are.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

Yeah, they they're like everywhere, and some of them are like massive. So I don't know how like there's a process of obviously getting the medicine, whatever they do with it, to transmute it into wherever they're going with the medicine. But yeah, it's just really interesting to watch it all play out. But please tell us about Buffo and your journey.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

I had never heard, I never heard of it. I finished, so I finished the 10 days, yeah, came to the end of um my birth ceremony ceremonial experience in Peru, and I was altered in a way that I mean, I really didn't see much possibility that I was gonna live very much longer, not only because of my physical health, but because of what was going on with my mental health, because of the mercury. But that's something that's um it's it's so destructive that even on small levels, like even just small amounts of mercury that can come in through the air of water are so destructive, or vaccines or flu shots, but the levels that I had going on in my brain had created such trauma and such um uh you know uh crippling, you know, just crippling anxiety that I didn't really feel like I could move around in this space anymore in this in this world.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I was in a situation where I was just kind of waiting for the natural end. I just assumed that my body was gonna was gonna be shutting down. And and and so this ayahuasca thing was just like a last-itch effort to see if I could find bless you.

SPEAKER_02 46:38

Thank you. That was a release. That was great.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Yeah. To see if I could find some peace for my last few months, what I thought was my last few months on planet Earth.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

Um and and and if I could transition and with with some some um peace around what I had been through. That's really all the only reason I went to Iowa to to Peru. I didn't think for one minute that this was going to actually kill me in any way. I just wanted the peace to transition.

SPEAKER_02 47:12

Right. That's so crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Crazy. So when I came to the end of the 10 days, I just felt like I was born again. You know, it's it's it was really no other way to to look at it. Was like I had cried, I had laughed, I had made like some best friends. I mean, I hadn't had a new friend in a decade. I I was alone, kind of had become like isolated and alone and like very just um inwardly just nerf focused and just hopeless. And like so, when I came to the end of this 10-day period, I was wide open like a baby. And I went back to Florida to my mother's house, and I had a little bit of time between this trip and my next job, which was going to be in Boston. I had accepted a long-term production job there, which um was also kind of a big surprise to me. I was like, okay, I guess this is still what I'm doing. I guess this is still what's going on. And so I had this window of time in Florida where I was integrating and I was so open. And the shamans in Peru told me that I needed to do combo. And I was like, what's combo?

SPEAKER_00 48:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

And they were like, that's the medicine you need to begin to clear more of the heavy metals out. And so I went online, found a combo practitioner, called her up. She was in Fort Lauderdale, her name was Michelle, and she was actually from Staten Island.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

Of course she was. That's where it was. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

So I was like, oh my God, okay, it was meant to be. Yeah. So I drove down there. We did the ceremony, and I released what felt like decades of anger for my liver.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

I just looked in that bucket, she said, that is your anger. That is your liver.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:07

And I was like, I feel like a different um, I feel like I've just unloaded things I didn't even know I was carrying around that it didn't even appear in ayahuasca. Yeah. Like it was purely the toxic load.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

It's physical. It's very physical. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Yeah. It was like, and it was bright, like neon, neon yellow. And she said to me, you know, I have a shaman coming from Mexico who's going to be serving Bufo. And I said, What's that?

unknown 49:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

And she said, Oh, it's it's everything, Michelle. I mean, it's it's really everything. I I think that I think that you should consider doing it. And again, I was like, sure, you know, didn't why not?

SPEAKER_02 49:52

Yeah, I might be dying. So let's go. You know, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 49:55

Well, that's exactly what I was thinking. It was like those stories where you find out you're dying and you do everything and end up living, you fall in love, and you start dancing, and you know, you travel and suddenly like you're you're okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Yeah, that's like your whole life, you know. Like, isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's so crazy. Yeah, so crazy. I um the cool part about so I was expecting when I did combo, literally, I did it two weeks ago uh for the first time with um Abuela, a grandmother that came up from Peru, which is even fun more fun. And I could I couldn't integrate with anything else that they were doing while she was here for seven days, but I pretty much had a private ceremony with her to do combo one morning a couple weeks ago. And we didn't do it into buckets, we gave it back to the earth, which was even cooler. So we're on top of this mountain, literally like releasing back into the earth, which I thought was so fun. So I don't even know what left, and I didn't need to know what left, but I did a lot of womb work over two days, and I had started my bleed that morning, right in this period of time. So it was like my whole body was just like, we're gonna go. And I had gotten cramping down there, which I never get. So I knew that there was a lot of energy that was moving through my womb area on a physical level through that ceremony. And it was just like really interesting, the whole thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

Did you did you have a feeling in the um in the days afterwards of like what exactly you had released? Like it was was was the integration part like part of that?

SPEAKER_02 51:29

Yeah, I felt like it was more, I think it aligned a lot with the psilocybin journey. And I think I was actually letting go of the the energy, like a lot of the physical energy that I'd created in closing up that area. Cause even like now uh my sex drive is like completely shifted. I'm like, why do I need to have another orgasm right now? Like, I just don't understand, you know, like and where before, because I'm single, right? So it's like, so before it'd be like a couple times a month when my certain hormones would hit certain levels and I'd make sure I'd release and I'd do some aspects. But now it's just like maybe we should just masturbate. And I'm like, what is up? Like, you know, it's just so it's almost like I had that part of my body moved energy through that created that the actual opening that is innately ours as women to hold. And instead of it being clouded with the stuff that was there before, like the restriction of it. So I feel like that that's really the space. And I that's why I feel called to almost do it a couple because I asked her, like, how often do you do combo? And she told me the story of her grandfather who was literally bathing in a waterfall after he'd done some happe and the frog with combo jumped onto his shoulder and told him about the medicine. And that's how their tribe started using the medicine in their tribes. And I said to her, How often do you do this? And she said, once a month for three months in a row, and that lasts us the year, or you could do it three days in ceremony and then you're good for the year. But she said to me, during COVID, nobody took the vaccines. We just did combo every 15 days.

SPEAKER_01 53:03

Beautiful, right?

SPEAKER_02 53:04

And then she's like, there's something about that for me. And I'm just like, I feel like I I and there's I can't obviously go, well, I could if I wanted to Peru and tap into her, but I feel like who brought her in has a connection for me that's the exact lineage I need for the next couple months phases of this release in my body. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:24

Yeah. Well, I think combo is such a such an interesting and beautiful medicine because it you're still grounded, you know, you haven't left, you know, your body. There's no um interpretation, right? Because sometimes afterwards a ceremony, you're like, well, I think that this vision meant this, or I think I I I got this download. But sometimes like your interpretation of it as you come back into your body can kind of morph over time. Oh, but there's no mistake, you know, when you're purging gallons of neon green or neon yellow liquid into either the earth or a bucket, and you can correlate, you know, which color is coming from which organ. Yeah. And you know, on a physical level, even though it's the energy that you're releasing, you're you're releasing it in the form of toxins. Yeah. And so it's a very, um, I guess for my um, for my 3D brain, it's like a very, you know, like grounding medicine to hold on to because there's sort of no mistake, there's no interpretation. Like this is what happened and this is where it came from. And now I feel it in this part of my body.

SPEAKER_02 54:39

Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. So I'm like, yeah, I'm just curious because I didn't look down, you know, to be like, what color are you? Where are you coming from? You know, like, and now I'm like, okay, let's do it again and see what happens, you know, like imagine and imagine coming off of a parasite cleanse to then go into a combo ceremony. Like, what is gonna happen then? I know.

SPEAKER_01 54:59

Whoa, that's gonna be like I have a friend who's a combo practitioner who told me that she went to um uh certain areas of Southern California to do where the where they spray the chemtrails really heavily. Here they spray really heavily. Yeah, and she did in her um with her clients, she saw like purple. Wow in those areas. That's crazy. I'm not surprised at all. Right? Yeah. I mean, so we can see clearly how what we're doing to the environment and what we're absorbing in our bodies can be literally like coming out of us when we do these various medicines, whether it's parasite cleansing, um, combo, or what have you. It's like, I don't know. I it's I mean, what do you think about that? Like, why are we in this era right now of where the toxins emotionally, spiritually, physically, have gotten so um saturated in the human body that this is what we're doing now. This is what almost all of us are doing. Like, why? Why is this happening?

SPEAKER_02 56:10

Yeah, because we're we're in that massive shift of evolution of the light. So we're recalibrating back into the purity of our alignment. And in order for us to do that, we've got to go through the shadow dynamics of it all that we've all been living in with all these years ancestrally, and we didn't realize it. And when I swear it's like the age of Aquarius in February of 2020, when this started to shift, the timeline started to open up. We then were able to heal more prop prominently, we started getting messages more dominantly, and we moved out of the masculine era and into the feminine flow that all this started to move. And we all, you know, through the COVID mechanism and all that kind of uh jargon that went through the world, it's like we started to see the light. And then people started to awaken to the truth and then started to see that we were being poisoned everywhere, and they escalated it because they were like, oh my God, they're starting to awaken and see the truth. Okay, we've got to keep infiltrating them. So they're trying to battle with shit in our water, in our food, and all this like eat crickets and you'll be great or mRNA dumb bullshit and all the things that they're trying to get us to poison ourselves with, because they see the lights escalating. And if they can keep us diminished and keep this, you know, calcified and keep us in a low vibration, they can control us. And that's the whole mechanism, and we're seeing through it all. So that's why we're battling it so heavily because they've up the ante, because they see what's actually happening, but they don't realize that as they up the ante, the light actually ups itself because of the duality paradigm that works through the laws of the world. So when the shadow rises, the light rises too, because that's the duality. So as the light rises, the shadow rises, which means that we see it more now than we ever have before.

SPEAKER_01 57:52

So and and would you say because of the intensity of the light, our physical bodies are now unable to hold like the parasites and the sickness and the illness and the and the trauma and the um, you know, chemicals and and whatever it is, whereas maybe we just stuffed it down before.

SPEAKER_02 58:11

Oh, huge. Absolutely. So it's shining lights in all aspects of our life, including the body. The body cannot calibrate up to the vibration of what the spirit's doing or the energy that we've cleared. So it has to match. So we've got to, I say to everybody, the physical form is the last part. We do the energetic work, then we move within the mental and emotional bodies to be able to hold it to change our habits and choices. And then the physical body has to purge all that out as well. So as we do all that work, we've got to support the body. And that's why we're being called into this. That's why the disease is showing us itself now. That's why plant medicine's coming in to be like, I got you. Like the earth has everything we need to shift this. We've just never had to lean on it as much as we have now because we're coming back into like the purity of alignment, people say.

unknown 58:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:58

It's it's so mist, it's so so magical in some ways to be alive right now. I mean, I think if you told me that I would have had this 11-year healing journey and metamorphosis that included, you know, living through my father's trauma and um, you know, really sort of going into deep ancestral and lineage work and then possibly fasting um for many months. I I don't think that I would have believed it, but I think my story is lining up like with what you're saying because I really had to start with the deep spiritual work and the ancestral work. Like I had to do my parents, my grandparents, and those kinds of things before I could even get to my own body.

SPEAKER_02 59:37

Oh, yeah. It's crazy, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

Yeah, it's totally um, it's totally crazy. And I think the the most for me, the the apex of like, whoa, what is going on here was my buffo experience because it was right after ahuasca and I was completely open. I had discovered already through ayahuasca that, you know, my father was at least channeling through me. I didn't understand he was attached to me. But um, I, you know, went to Florida and did combo and then came back a few days later for this shaman who had come from Mexico with some very powerful buffo, which again, I didn't really even understand what it was or where it came from or what it did. And um, he just sat me down. We did one person at a time. And I could feel before I went to the ceremony, I was starting to cough. So in looking back, I could feel my father was starting to kind of kind of show himself before right before the ceremony. And I was I told him, I said, I I think I'm very triggered by my pacho. So don't please don't light any mipaco during this ceremony. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:43

Don't blow it in my face.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:44

I don't blow it in my face, just like keep the mopacho away from me. And they said, Okay, um, what's your intention? I said, my intention um is is to really heal my physical body. And so I sat, you know, sat down and I took it in, and then he said, take another on. I took it in and he said, take another one. I don't know if I can, and I'm not really even sure if I did, because I can't remember because I was out.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:09

And then as soon as I went out, my father's suffering, like the level of uh pain and suffering existing inside his body was all there was. My my body was gone and I just started wailing, you know, just I wasn't like um in a personality because there was no personality and there was no physical body, but I was inside this um, you know, uh container, so to speak, of uh suffering.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

Yeah. You know, we just see you in darkness, that's it. Like just it's just dark. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:53

It was and it was it was like uh all I all I could do was be with it, right? And and and um and cry. And then what felt like maybe a few um decades of that rapidly came through. And then we went into my grandmother, which she had lived through World War I and World War II, so through some very major trauma. And so the suffering got amped up because she's a woman. So she had given birth and she had go gone through the pain of you know, seeing her children starve and be in danger, and her, you know, all of her stuff that she witnessed and been was been through, had experienced, we don't even know to what extent, because she's a woman. Yeah. Um suddenly the suffering had gotten amped up and I just became I just was I just recall in looking back that I was wailing without a body, just wailing. And then it went to her mother and her mother and her mother. It went very much through all the women um six or seven generations back, I want to say. Wow. Um, and it was like nothing, there was no other ceremonial experience I had that quite um gave me that uh perspective. And and I laid on the deck, we were in Florida, and there was like a canal in the back, and I just took a yoga mat and I laid in the back and I just cried for like two hours. Yeah, cry. Yeah. I couldn't even really piece it together. It took a while to integrate that. I would say I thought about that ceremony every day for about one year. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

Yeah. We don't realize um, because I I there's some people in the world that have addiction and then they go to plant medicine, and then the plant medicine becomes their addiction, and then it's like they can't stop doing plant medicine ceremonies because they're addicted in the space of it all. Um, but some of us, it's been a year since I did psilocybin. And I know I'm being called back into that space, which I'll probably do a ceremony, you know, somewhere between now and when I leave for Peru in October. I feel like it will come like not right now. I'm in combo energy, but you know, like somewhere in that space, it'll probably come back. But it's been a year since I've been with her, you know, it's been a year, it's been a year and a half since ayahuasca. So it'll be almost, it'll be two years and a bit since I've done a ceremony with her that when I go back, you know, in October to be in ceremony with her again, you know, and it's like we don't realize that it takes some time sometimes with some of these to be able to integrate and move through. Um, and to understand. And we I don't even think we ever understand. It took me like a year and a half, and one day I was like, oh, that's what that meant, you know, like you know, right, right, oh yeah. Together, like it's just yeah, it's yeah, it's crazy when we think about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

Integration is kind of everything, I think, when you're working with these medicines, you know, because it's so um baffling. It can be really confusing and it can be really baffling, especially if you're dealing with um complex issues like you know, sickness or addiction or trauma, you know, real serious trauma. Yeah. Um, I think the integration part for me was like I was on this very, very, it was unique, it was a real duality because I was still very sick, but I was also on a very high vibration. And and I think part of the work in my life is to understand how to be uh un to feel physically unwell and yet hold a very high vibration. And that is the work of a lifetime, and I still haven't quite captured it. But it's um, you know, I still have to work on it because I have my days that are not great.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:45

I bet you do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:46

Um, but you still want to be, you know, um the light, you know, because I don't want all of that work, even on the bad days, even on the sick days, even on the uh uncomf physically uncomfortable days or the herxing days. days, I don't want all of that work that I did to be lost in the shadows. So my my work, I feel consistently is to, okay, how do I hold both spaces at the same time? How do I feel physically ill and not so happy and yet hold the highest possible light I can? And that it's a challenge and it doesn't always work.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:20

But welcome to Earth. I just want to say that to you. So that and that's the thing, it's like that's the quest I feel like we're all on. We're all dealing with our stuff, but we're also this beautiful beam of light. And our job is to be able to still shine while we're dealing with our stuff. I say to people like all the time, I said this in one of the like I have a membership portal way that I teach in every week. And I said to them in January when I was teaching one week I was like guys I had the darkest year of my life in 2024. Did any of you guys notice? And they're like no and I was like I was dealing with my shit. So much of my shit was coming through so much healing. Like I was in it like you know we February was a psilocybin journey. I was like I was in my stuff but you didn't know it to be that because I wasn't sitting in that when I was in servitude when I was in the space with you when we were one to one when we were like putting like all the things you didn't see it but in the depths of the darkness in my nights or when I was by myself I was doing the work in the space of to move it through and it's like it's it's we choose it and we're not great at it every day. Like I wouldn't like some days it would be like where the hell is Colleen we can't find her. Yeah Colleen's fucking hermit and dealing with her shit over here, you know, in the space and stuff. But it's like because that's what's necessary and needed but it's like when when we find the groove and we just are vulnerable real raw then we can come from still the place of light while we're while we're in the physicality of it you know so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

And you know what I mean I really think I have like utmost respect for because that it's something I aspire I do aspire to do every day and I feel like oh okay well you know I'm maybe I'm you know seven out of ten you know maybe maybe I'm six out of ten ten days maybe but I really um am aspiring always to like follow the lead you know of the people who are really in their service work. Every day no matter what is happening um I when when I have to retreat um I go to my canvas you know and and and I and I and I paint. And that's really how I can connect those two vibrations the feeling the you know low vibration, the unwell, the detox symptoms, whatever they are and also the trying to hold the light so that at least I can kind of um be in a vibration that might bring beautiful colors or beautiful you know energy to other people. So that's kind of like my default place, you know, I sort of default back to the art studio.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

Well and we all have that like for me it's like we're I love to read. I love to be in a cozy container meaning whether it's my bed or my couch and I just like to drop into the space and dive into the places I want to go. And it's like I I know this about myself and I I used to rebel against it and then feel like you know disconnected and like how can you take time for yourself when you have all this work to do and now I'm just like fuck that shit. This is what I need and I've learned how to kind of calibrate in that space. So for me it's in that way and I'm being called back into my drum that's up there because I can keep hearing it all the time. It's like you haven't played us in a while we need to meet and the and I'm like I'm coming I'm I'm coming it's like we're we're doing the thing you know it's coming through but it's like we there will always be the days that we're not on nor should we have to be it's about life and living and understanding but still communicating that this is transpiring you know like I there's a pedestal some people put me on sometimes in my world and I've knocked it out so many times for people to just get I'm like look guys I'm a human doing this world too. And just because I can tap in in certain ways and I've done some of the work and I've been in this for 16 years doesn't mean that I'm not human. And it doesn't mean that I'm not okay too if I tell you that you know I had a panic attack yesterday because this and this was transpiring I am not saying it to you that because I'm asking for help right now. I'm saying it to you for you to understand that this is part of our journey in the space of it all. And one of my girlfriends and I have this like code she's like if you ever message me that you need a certain amount of minutes, whatever it is, we make it up all the time it used to be seven, four, two, whatever if if we get a text that say I need do you have two minutes that means I'm reaching out for help in the space of like I need some support whatever that is in the space of it all. But you know I just it's part of the it's part of the experience the whole mechanism of it all for us. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:50

It is and and it's women I think sometimes it's challenging I find it challenging anyway to like ask for help or to say I need some me time like I I'm actually not going to work I'm not gonna work today or I'm not gonna be in that accomplishment moving forward mindset, the goal-oriented mindset. I'm actually going to turn inward and take a bath and listen to some music or like put my feet in the soil and hang out because it's a sunny day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:29

You know like it's really still uh a challenge for me to just allow my mind to slow down but I find that when my mind speeds up too much my body starts to take over and say uh uh uh uh no it's not gonna work no and we're like I really speak into this a lot is that we're coming out of the energy of doing all the time in being and when we are being we actually can create and expand in that where most people like well I got to do in order to make money I'm like look if you just be then the right actions will show up that will align behind your being that will collapse all the 500 million things on your to-do list and you'll take one action that will create everything that you need. But we've been conditioned to think it's the other way around. So we're dismantling that all the time right now and watching it transpire like it's just it's a beautiful beautiful landscape.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:22

So and that's the work I mean that's really where the work is and I have to tell myself that I'm in the editing process of waking awakening in the age of metals. So I am hoping um I'm planning for a release date of the fall of 2025. And the book basically spans um the 11 years from the moment I got struck down in the middle of Hollywood of what is happening to all through um the Peru experience and Buffo and Boston and then meeting my wife just sort of randomly um on right on location um and then into Los Angeles and COVID and Idlewild and I boga and then back to my physical body and ending with my um 61 day fast.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:17

So cool. I love it. I look forward to to getting access to the book I'll have to like send it to Canada and then pick it up someday you know because it it's challenging to get stuff here. We don't have addresses and stuff. Yeah we don't have addresses like it's the import fees are like really intense and you can't even get like holistic medicine into the country unless you have an MD sign off on it for shipping. You can bring it in in your luggages and do all the things so that's why whenever anyone goes outside of the country we're all like I'm headed to Canada send what you need there and we just keep bringing it back whatever we need for each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:52

So it's oh wow so so what about if you need to order like supplements or anything like that you have to send it to somewhere and get it picked up.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:04

I think we froze it probably my internet because that uh that is standard around here to see something there we go wait I almost got you back there we go we got you back now I think so well at least we got you in the sunshine those of you that are not watching the video online um there you are there we go I got you back yeah yeah right exactly yeah well I'll have to put the book in my backpack and fly on my next trip to Costa Rica drop it off come and come here I definitely want to get access to the book and I feel like this has been a really complete circle in our uh dynamics together Michelle and I'm just I'm really grateful to know you as a human on this earth and I cannot wait to see how this whole thing comes about in the space for you and how this next evolution of your mission gets activated through the book and where it's going to take you because I feel like it's just an it's the beginning of an opening that that you can't even comprehend yet, which is going to be really awesome to witness.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:05

I'm really I'm really like looking forward to it because it's brought me to you and these two days you know that I recorded with you were such great reminders of the possibilities.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:18

I love that. And I love that for those listening you know the dynamics of what we move through like yeah we have the story but there's so much layered in that and each person I think is going to take whatever they need from listening to us together and the co-creation that we got to do. But um yeah I'm just really grateful and who knows what'll happen. Maybe we'll have a part three somewhere down the line.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:39

I I hope so because I think after the book comes out, you know my prayer is that I get to connect with all of the women women out there who are moving through this kind of like deep dark sort of transformation physically and also like spiritually and energetically and that I get to um be a be some kind of guide you know in in a way either either just through the book or through working you know one-on-one or doing workshops or whatever it is I just want to be able to kind of like accompany like escort so many of these women and I say women just because our transformational healing contains some layers in it um that are a little bit um unique and different especially where it comes comes through the body and the endocrine system and the and the hormonal system.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:34

Yeah I just got a vision um I lost you again for a second but I just got a vision of us um I'm gonna be hosting apparently in the next couple years an event and you're gonna be speaking at it and I saw I just saw the room I saw me in it and you're gonna have a mic and you're gonna be on stage. So I'll let you know when that comes to life and we'll get you invited and we'll we'll align all the things whenever that's landing. I just got I got it and it's like and everything is pink which is really more interesting like fuchs and I'm just like okay so like that's part of my multidimensionality. I love fuchsia pink it's like an MO so I was like wow apparent but it's like a powerful like there's yeah so I'll let you know when that cut that's coming to life and we'll get that aligned.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:21

Please do and it's ironic you say pink because I um did a commission for a friend of mine who's very much like a a a medicine woman a soulful transformational character in my life who went through um many of the journeys with me including my trip to Iboga to Costa Rica to do Iboga we kind of went through that whole thing together and not long afterwards she said I really want you to do this sort of um commission for me. It's like a portal and these are the colors magenta, fuchsia, um you know mauve, lavender, these kinds of things. So I bought these like buckets, you know huge amounts of all of these colors and I'm still working with them.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:59

Oh I love yeah fuchs for me is like an activator like it is like it's in the branding of the podcast even with my name um so it's like yeah I love I don't know there's just something about that about that color for me. It's just like boom like black white and fuchsia like those are like yeah that's my MO. So it's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:16

Well I'm feeling I'm feeling a Colleen painting coming through. So so should that happen we'll figure out how to get it to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:25

Yeah or I'll I'll come by I'll fly in we'll we'll meet up somewhere in the ethers and do something together. Who knows what'll transpire but that would be amazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:33

Come up to Ivanwild it's 6,000 feet and lots of really interesting things happen up here.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:38

Well remember I told I I don't know if you remember this but I used to live in Palm Desert. Yeah so like I'm like I'm down for going back to California. There's a lot of energy that needs to be moved in that state anyway. So you never know what I can I can assist in. Seriously we need all of the help we can get yes I know I know so funny. Anyways Michelle this has been amazing. I know the listeners have taken like if they haven't taken anything then they need to relisten because there is so much that we got to serve within and I'm just like I'm really grateful for the experience.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:10

Thank you so much and I'm so grateful for the work you do and thank you to your listeners and I'm sending so much love.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:16

Yes me too I'm sending you guys so much love and uh we have Michelle's contacts again in the show notes. So if you guys want to reach out or just kind of follow follow along the journey of the book coming through and all the things I'm gonna highly encourage you to do that. And um she are you still taking on one-to-one clients right now and the aspects of like health and stuff. Yeah so like if you're feeling called and you're like I think that she can help serve me I'm just gonna say to you guys to to reach out to her for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:41

Yes and um I work with donations um so and sliding scales and all that stuff. So never let um money get in the way because I like to be able to help as many people as I can in whatever way ways that I can.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:54

Yeah I love that so good. But again Michelle thank you so much for shining your light bright and we'll see you guys all in the next episode. Bye for now.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:02

Thank you bye for now.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:05

Well I hope you enjoyed that episode and we just ask that if you feel called share this out on social, send it to a friend, help us promote the podcast the more hands this gets into the more conversations we get to have in the truth. And for some of you that have been inquiring, you know Colleen Limberg is a soul mission activator, shadow alchemist and she's also a really badass business alignment strategist. If you desire that kind of stuff in your world and you're like shit I want to have a conversation with her come find her on Instagram send her a DM send me a DM actually I don't know why I'm talking in the third person. And let's get her done then this is all about discovering the truth within ourselves and owning our power as we move through the world. So I look forward to hearing you seeing you feeling you doing all the juicy shit in the next episode together and let's do it