The Catch Window

Why Doing What Feels “Wrong” Is the Only Way You Win

• Omega Stallworth • Season 1 • Episode 6

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0:00 | 54:32

Most people think success comes down to strategy.

It doesn’t.

It comes down to whether you’re willing to do the things that feel uncomfortable… even when they don’t make sense.

In this episode of The Catch Window Podcast, Alex breaks down why fear of rejection is the real reason people stay stuck, how discipline is built through action (not motivation), and why the people who win are simply the ones who don’t quit when it gets hard.

If you’ve ever felt like you know what to do… but aren’t doing it, this will hit.

We also dive into:
• Why rejection isn’t personal (and how to stop fearing it)
• The truth about confidence and self-trust
• Why fitness and discipline carry over into business
• How to build leaders and scale a team the right way
• The real reason most people never reach their potential

This isn’t theory. It’s what actually separates people who win from people who stay stuck.

Connect with Alex:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexfcoaches
Website: https://CFNSFL.com

Connect with Omega:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omegastallworth
LinkedIn: Omega Stallworth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheFitnessEmancipator

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SPEAKER_01

All right, welcome to the catch window podcast. Excited to have our guest here, Alex. Most people think success in finance comes down to strategy or just products, but at the highest level, it's really about people, who you bring in, who you trust, and when you act. On the show, we call that the catch window. It's where the moment preparation meets opportunity. I'm excited to have you on, Alex. You might stare with uh, you know, the listeners, talking a little bit more about you and what you do.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, definitely. I'll try to keep it to the cliff notes, but just a little bit about my background, and it does tie into why I think that I work the way that I do is I come from an immigrant family. I'm the only person in my family born in the U.S., Hungarian father's side, French mother's side. My my father's side from Hungary, his mom was actually an Auschwitz survivor. And so they emigrated out of Hungary in 1957. Without going into all the details, just an unbelievable story of perseverance and, you know, ultimately moving to America to pursue the American dream. And so I don't take opportunity for granted. I think there's a lot of people that work hard all over the place, but I think immigrants just kind of sometimes see opportunity differently. I mean, I was born in New York City. I'm an American, but I have that in my blood. And that's a big part of, you know, how I am and how I am the way I am and who I am. Moved from New York City to South Florida when I was a young kid, probably like three years old. That was my hometown. Played sports, went to a really big high school in South Florida called St. Thomas Aquinas. They've been, they've been, you've heard of them? Yeah. Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I'm from Pensacola.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, cool. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of people in my class that have played in the NFL, have actually won Super Bowl rings. Then I went to the University of Florida. And if that wasn't enough, you know, T Tebow was in my class. So two football championships, two basketball championships. It was an unbelievable time. You know, I didn't realize how blessed I was until after the fact when we started sucking a lot. But hey, their basketball team is starting to look good again, right? After winning last year and again. But but yeah, you know, that was, even though that all sounds kind of cool, I didn't really know who I was and didn't find like a structured path until a little later on in life. You know, I I switched majors from finance to Chinese. I took a study abroad program and lived in Beijing for two summers. Really, really good experience. Got me kind of out of the Florida environment. And just sometimes it's good to remove yourself from that hometown environment. Um, and then so fast forward a little bit, it just the corporate world was awesome. I was learning a lot, but I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I actually joined the military, wanted to be a Navy SEAL, and was shipped to Coronado, where they have like buds training, and I didn't make it through training. And so I got out, I was I was in the civilian, I was in the civilian world after just a year, like less than two years. And I finally was like mature enough, in my opinion. You know, as a 21-year-old, I don't think I was mature enough to be a in a prospecting business and talking to people about money. Several years later, after coming out of the military, I was finally ready, right? I had some structure and some discipline and I was a little more mature. And I just really went all in. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I was coachable. I always had a drive. I just didn't know where to channel it. And man, I went all in. You know, I had a mentor that told me that if you are smart enough to be dumb enough to do what you are taught, you will be successful. That sounds simple, but a lot of people don't do what they're supposed to do. But if you do that, I'm telling you you'll be successful. And so in a cold city, I had no relationships, but lo and behold, within a couple of years it was going well. Then I moved into management. After building up a successful practice as an advisor, I went into management, which is where instead of selling, I was recruiting and starting to build and lead teams. And I did that for I was at that company for about 10 years, one of the large, I'll say the name here, one of the largest, most successful financial planning firms on earth. It's called New York Life, been around for 180 years. And uh, you know, led really, really successful teams. And then just after about 10 years, I just got the itch to do something that was more truly mine, right? Instead of being part of the corporate structure, which no disrespect, great training, but it wasn't mine. I didn't own it. And so to find an opportunity to take all the skills that I had learned and the drive and the entrepreneurship and apply that in a similar industry, but in a model that is truly entrepreneurial was just an awesome fit. And so that actually happened within the last three months and um have been building rapidly and have not been this pumped up in a in a very long time. Wow.

SPEAKER_01

What a story. He's lived a lot more lives than what most can say. I'm being honest with you. I mean, like, talk about twist and turn. I mean, I didn't know that that is just so cool. You just I mean, such a journey from where you've been at. And I gotta, I gotta say, go gators. Like I grew up a gator fan. I have to I have to stop to say that. All right, cool. I'm not gonna say ages, I don't want to make you feel feel old. I I was I was watching that as a young and seeing him him dominate. So that's that's that's pretty cool. I mean, I mean you're you're also doing something really special right now. You're fired up, you're passionate about it. When you're I guess when you're building these teams since you're doing something kind of similar, but this time on your own in the entrepreneurial phase. What what do you what actually determines who you who you kind of bet on and bring into your organization?

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, that's such a good question. You know, you you think when you start out that you're looking for the person that has like a double major and like they had a 4.0 and they're like really good at math. And I'm telling you, it has nothing to do with that. It is drive, resilience, the willingness to be able to push through adversity even when it's uncomfortable. And IQ has nothing to do with that. I mean, there are people that ACSATs have a Harvard degree, are brilliant, but are just not resilient, you know? Um, and and there are some that are. But the point is, is the X factor is finding that person that has such a strong desire to do something great that they are not gonna be easily paralyzed by worrying about what other people think or if they run into a roadblock, that it's not the end of their story. And what's kind of difficult, but what makes it very lucrative is it's very hard to know that about somebody, right? Because in the interview process, everybody will tell you, oh, yeah, I'm resilient, I'm motivated, I'm driven, I can work really well in a non-structured setting. I don't need you to micromanage me every single day. And then you find out that most of them need a lot of accountability. And there's, you know, just a couple that do what they said they were gonna do. And again, I'm not bashing everybody. That's just that's why there are so few people as a percentage that go on to really be successful because not everybody's willing to push through that adversity. So that is the number one thing that I'm looking for. You know, sometimes you make a bet not truly knowing how they're gonna be, but you gotta give some people a chance and hope that it works out. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. But I'm really, really trying to ask good questions and find out is this person going to push when things are difficult?

SPEAKER_01

Wow, that is a tough decision to make. I mean, a huge, huge decision to make. I can't imagine the kind of like vetting and and pressure that goes into having to decide that. I mean, when you're making such a big decision like that, like bringing someone on, promoting someone, obviously, or just investing in a leader, because what's kind of happening internally, you know, in your mind in these moments?

SPEAKER_00

What I just said, right? Like I'm I'm I'm asking questions like, you know, tell me a time when you really failed at something. How did you handle it? What was your self-talk? And if they say a really, really difficult time was when I, you know, I didn't pass my exam in high school, in my mind, I'm like, really, that's the most struggle you've had. But if somebody says, you know, I've I had a drug addiction and I'm 10 years sober, or I had the most amazing job opportunity and I humiliated myself, but I just kept going, right? Like I'm like, aha, all right, there's some substance there. Not that failing an exam in high school is stupid. Like they deserve to be recognized that that was a hard moment. But but there's hard and then there's hard, right? And there's kind of a saying that I would love to hire somebody that has already been knocked down and already knows how to get back up because I know that they know how to get back up. But if you've never truly been knocked down, you might not know how to get back up. And what we know is that the older you get, the longer time goes on that you've never been knocked down, it's harder to develop that tough skin later on in life. You know, young people have the ability to build that muscle more easily and then it'll serve them later than not figuring it out until later. Because we're a little set in stone once we're, you know, in our 30s and 40s. It's not impossible, but it's less likely.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think that's good. I think that's honestly a really good point. And I think I see so much of it, you know, obviously in the sports sports world, my background, but also in currently in the health and fitness world and in the coaching consulting world, I think it is so much harder to your point when you get to a certain point of never having to deal with anything, never having to go through anything to try to build that up and get in a position in a place where you're willing to take on some things that are difficult or uncomfortable. And I think going through that at a younger age and kind of developing some of these scars, whether it's in your own personal health and fitness or whether it's in business or or in this, it's a lot easier to adapt into when you face struggles. I mean, you've been through this before. You've you know what it's like. And you don't give up. You know what it's like to be in an uncomfortable, hard situation. And you know the only thing you can do to get through this is to get through it and go through it. So the only way out is through. So I think that's it's that's super powerful. But speaking from your perspective, I guess with your role, it is, it is so crucial, obviously, and it's super important. It's one thing to be the advisor, it's another thing to be responsible, not just for your own results now, but for an entire team. What allows you to stay composed when things get high pressure or difficult?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, these are some good questions, man. Really good. Yeah, you know, it's I just gotta say that you've gotta make mistakes. First off, right? Like I'm a much better leader than I was when I was brand new on the job. Because similar to when I was an advisor, when I started as a partner, as a manager, I went through a whole new series of falling on my face. You know, you go from being like really, really good at selling and being glorified to then all of a sudden not being a good recruiter and having poor retention. But when you get knocked down and you know how to get back up and you don't quit, you just do it again and do it again. And so over time, you know, constantly having a growth mindset and having a good mentor, I had a great mentor. I would, you know, we would always have conversations. Okay, what could you have done differently? All right, so what could you stop doing? What could you start doing? And constantly reflecting, analyzing, refining, and then iterating again. Part of it is just experience, but I also think you've got to take care of your mental, physical, spiritual, relational aspects of your life because there's a lot of rich people that die of cancer, right? Have high blood pressure, have horrible relationships with their kids. That's not success, right? So even if it looks like it on the outside, if you on the inside are struggling in all those other areas, your fitness is horrible. No matter how good it looks on the outside, that person probably knows on the inside, in their own secrets of their own mind, they're not happy. They know that they suck in those other areas. And that's just super sad. So especially when you're leading a lot of people, having practices of whether it's meditation or prayer, if you're religious or spiritual fitness, is at least for me, has been really important in kind of having a calm, clear mind before you attack a busy day. Right. And everybody talks about this online. Like if you wake up and you're instantly scrolling and looking at like mindless posts on Instagram and you're not working out, you're not meditating, you're not praying, you're, you're, you're skiffing food, you're drinking four cups of coffee, and you're like already one little stressful thing pops up in the day and you go into panic mode. But if you got in a good workout, you've read a personal development book, you've listened to an awesome podcast like this, you've done something to create clarity. And goal setting is another thing. You know, like I'm not as religious about writing goals every single morning, but I am a goal setter. And so working on yourself habitually before the chaos of the day starts, I think is just something that everybody needs to do to be a high performer. And there's some exceptions. You probably know about Alex Hormozy and like how he says, I don't have a routine. I just wake up and I start working at 4 a.m. Well, that dude's unique, right? Not everybody operates that way. But in a way, for him, working is meditation. Like that's he's obsessed with it and good for him. But for most people, there needs to be like some kind of practice. So I hope hope that that long answer, but that's how I feel.

SPEAKER_01

No, I think you hit the nail on the head. I mean, literally, I mean, you've I think you covered every possible like lane someone could walk down to succeed in this level to handle composure. And not just for honestly for business, but I think just for life in general. I think a lot of the stuff you touched on, people struggle with. And they, you know, we're we're in a society where people are more anxious than ever, people are more burnt out than ever, and they don't realize that their dune scrolling and their 80 billion milligrams of caffeine are what's like attributing to this. I think it's just something's wrong with their mental health. But it's like, no, like, I mean, to your point, I mean, how you start your day is everything, right? I mean, even physiologically speaking, I mean, our circadian rhythm, the start of our day is where we have the most energy, we have the most clarity. Why not put that time to good use and use it to work you said, to work on yourself and to build yourself? I mean, it's something that I harp on so much. And for people like yourself who are in such a high level of business and success, I mean, it makes all the difference. And I guess from a mentorship standpoint, you know, you have a lot of people you're helping and you're pouring into. And you've obviously at this point over 10 plus years worked with a lot of advisors, a lot of agents. Why why do you what would you say is the reason why most people don't succeed in this space, you know, even when the opportunity is there?

SPEAKER_00

Fear, fear of rejection, I would say more than anything. And people will tell you that there's different reasons. I believe that it's usually disguised as something else, but it's fear of rejection. I mean, I don't like being rejected. Human beings are social creatures. We want to feel like we're part of the tribe. When somebody says, you know, I'm not interested, leave me alone. Naturally, we're all gonna hate that. But you've gotta be okay with that to be good at anything in the business world, right? That is something that you get to a point, and I think you can only get to this point by doing it. I loved how you said the only way out is through. When you push through rejection and you do it again, and it's hard, but you just don't quit and you do it again and you do it again and you do it again, you realize you learn psychology. You realize that all these people that rejected me six months ago, they're actually being nice to me right now at the happy hour mixer. They're liking my posts. Oh, wait, they actually don't hate me. They just said no to my service six months ago. Interesting. So now I feel a little more confident to reach out to people because it's not personal. And then you learn that even more and more and more. What's so ironic is that if you quit because you're scared, you never learn that about human psychology. And so it's this demon that lives in your mind that will forever paralyze you from taking risk. But if you would have just known that if you would have done the thing, it would have cured you of the syndrome of fear, right? I mean, and it never a hundred percent goes away, but it's way easier when you understand how human beings are wired. And I think sales is one of the coolest ways to learn about human beings and learn about psychology. You learn so much more about the human mind and you learn about yourself and you learn about communication. I think you learn more about that than you learn about the stock market, right? Or that more than you learn about an insurance policy. You learn about that stuff too, but I think the real juice, right, is learning about hu humanity.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's so good. I think you're you're probably the first person I feel like that really speaks to that, that side of business so much of the psychology and what makes you a great salesman, what makes you a great business person is understanding at that psychological psychological level how we work as humans, how we process, how we feel, how we think, and and what kind of lays into our buying decision. And even like the point of psychology, like how we deal with rejection. I mean, I you made such a good point because I I remember being that guy, right? You know, you think, oh, because someone said no to this thing that you have that they'd hate you or whatever. And it's just like, no. I mean, like, and sometimes a no, often not sometimes, oftentimes a no now is not a no forever, too. To your point. I mean, you you keep they keep liking, they keep engaging with your stuff, you keep giving value. And I think that, you know, to your point of the psychology, a lot of that is just that's how you really earn people's trust and earn people's favor is by constantly showing up and not quitting and and constantly pursuing. And I think so much of psychology plays into the sales part. But even for someone like you who's who's the leader of a team, I think it even plays into how you manage people, you know, whether it's keeping people aligned, motivated, growing, you know, as a as an organism and as a business. What is, I guess, what does that look like, you know, when it comes to leadership and retention? How does how would you say psychology plays into that?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Well, just to kind of wrap up our previous question, but it'll tie in is I think most people need to know that like you're not that important. Like, I'm not that important. People aren't sitting there thinking about us. They're busy living their own lives. They've got kids, they've got jobs, they've got parents that are sick. Like we overestimate how important we are. We're like, oh, they're probably, they're probably so annoyed with me. They're probably like, gosh, when is he gonna stop calling me? Dude, they're not thinking about you anymore. They're already dealing with something else. And so when I'm motivating and leading, you know, I try to teach these things, but again, like I told you, I could tell a new advisor a hundred times, they're not thinking about you. You're not that important, don't take it personally. You, if you persistently follow up and you're pleasant, it will turn around. I could say that a million times, but you will never learn theoretically. That person has to make the call, get rejected, do it again, do it again, and then see for themselves three months later that it was never personal, right? Like it's very rare that somebody can learn this kind of a thing from reading a book. You have to do it. It's the only way. And that's why, like I said earlier, it's kind of ironic that doing it is the cure that everybody's looking for, but they just are too scared to test it out. When, you know, motivating a team, I think a really big thing, and a lot of good leaders would agree with this, is you have to understand the social styles of everybody that you hire and mentor. And there's no formulaic system for mentoring everybody, right? Some people are recognition driven. They are, you know, really motivated and pumped up when they win a trophy and they get to stand on stage. Other people don't care about that at all, right? Some people are money driven. Some people are driven because they feel like they're making an impact. And all of those people need to be led a little differently. And so I think it's the leader's job when they're first working with somebody is to really learn like, why are you doing what you're doing? What, if this were all to work out and you were to achieve all your goals, what would that do for you? Tell me more. Like, what's your main goal? Like, why are you doing this? If a good leader does a really, really good job of finding that out, and it's not always easy, right? Because some people don't even know why they're doing it. They'll tell you, it's because I want to make six figures. But that's really usually not the reason. Maybe they don't even realize if they've never taken the time to think about it, but it's that they, I don't know, felt like maybe they were overlooked in the middle school and high school, and they have a chip on their shoulder and they want the world to know that they're actually really, really good at something, but they were never given the right platform. And when they succeed, everyone's gonna know their value. I mean, that sounds kind of like a negative chip, but whatever, whatever it takes to kind of hack your mind and push through the fear, but that same person, if you ask them why are you doing this, they probably wouldn't tell you that. They would say, because I want to buy real estate. And so again, like I when you really dig down through good coaching and find out the person's why, you can then use that when they run into a struggle and they're not making the call, they're not doing the follow-up, they're scared. You've got to remind them of their why. Right. You know, you mentioned when we first started that if you were to succeed, you'd be able to go take care of your mother and you'd be able to pay off her house because I know that it stresses you out that she's not financially secure. And by succeeding in this, your mother will never have to worry about that ever again. You got her taken care of. If you don't do the uncomfortable work, like think of how that's gonna affect everything else in your life that you said was important to you. And that person might be like, oh yeah, I forgot. That is important to me. Thanks for reminding me. All of a sudden, the desire and the purpose to do the difficult thing starts becoming more important than the fear for not doing it, right? Because if all you're doing is focusing on the scary thing, then it seems very big. But if you have this driving force that you focus on, that's why writing goals and all the thing we talked about earlier in the morning routine, when you're really, really focused on all the goals and things that matter to you, it just starts to outweigh the thing that you're scared of. And I think not enough people understand that. And that that is kind of like a skill, right? Like you have to practice that. Not everybody's born good at that, but you can actually train yourself to become better at that. And that's something that I had to do, right? Like in the beginning, I was scared to do things that were uncomfortable, but I had to ask myself, like, why am I scared to do this? Interesting. That's why I'm scared. Okay, how can I like when this happens again tomorrow? How can I not react in the same way? Because I don't want this to happen every day. So it's almost like you start being able to plan in advance. When I run into adversity tomorrow, which it's gonna happen, how am I gonna best prepare myself? So when that curveball comes, I overcome it instead of being scared. And then it becomes kind of like a like a you know, it can almost come. Like become like a fun game that you play with yourself. It's hard though to do that with others, right? Same thing is I could teach you all the skills that helped me and worked for me, but they might not work for you. Or they might work for you, but you're just not going to apply them because you're you and you're not me and our brains work different. So again, I know that's kind of a complex answer, but it's understanding everybody's different with their social style, understanding everybody's motivated differently, and then being able to find out what makes them tick so that when the going gets tough, you can revisit their why, which makes it much easier to push through the fear.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, man, I think that's amazing. And I think you reflect something that I've learned a lot. I mean, from being an athlete, from playing the sport and being a coach, you know, a consultant now myself. Great leaders listen and even greater leaders lead by example. I mean, it is very clear that doing the things, being, you know, sitting with your thoughts and thinking through the things that make you tick and and and meditating and growing and reflecting and finding ways to improve yourself, it is very clear that that's a huge priority for you. And it shows up in the way you lead and it shows up in the way that you're able to, to run your business, to run your company, and to and to help, you know, your people. And maybe for a younger business owner, a business owner who's not younger, but has not prioritized these things the way that you have. Do you do you think, you know, the business owner like yourself or the business owner who's not like you doesn't show up as sharp or as energetic or as certain, do you feel like that changes how the team will kind of respond to them? Totally, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I I it really trickles downhill, you know? I mean, that's why I think big organizations, or if you're hiring people to run franchises, or if you're recruiting is like the king of all the skills, right? Any, any really successful person is trying to find leaders that they can hire so that they don't have to manage an entire company. They just can find a leader and then just train that leader, and then that leader can run the company, right? That's like how you remove yourself from the day-to-day. And it is, it is a full-time job to find good leaders. I mean, it's really, really hard. But I would say that if somebody's not as energetic or they're not, they don't show up the right way, you know, they've got a limited amount of time. You you gotta figure that out. Or maybe leadership isn't meant for you. Because I was told that when I went into leadership, and this was kind of inspiring. Some people might view it as scary or, you know, intimidating, but I think it's motivating and inspiring is when you chose to go into leadership, you lost, lost the ability to have a bad day. You're not allowed to have a bad day. You're not allowed to wake up and be like, I don't feel like it today, or I'm gonna just, you are literally not allowed to do that. And that might sound very hard and like, oh God, I would never want to be like that. But is that a bad thing? Or doesn't that make your life so much better that you form this habit of not allowing yourself to be the victim just because I mean, and think of all the funny excuses that people use as to why they have a bad day, right? Like they one little thing goes wrong in the morning and then all of a sudden you have a bad day. You didn't have a bad day, one little thing went wrong, and you allowed that to destroy your mindset for the day. So I just think that, yeah, you know, not every leader has to have the exact same charisma, the exact same energy level, but you're not allowed to have a bad day, right? And so I think there's different variations of that. And if you can do that in a way that's unique to you, there are there are different ways to do that.

SPEAKER_01

Heck yeah. Wow. I mean, what what an amazing perspective. Like, and I I talk so much to about perception. And I think, you know, when it comes to how you take care of yourself mentally, physically, and when it comes to how you lead, I think perception plays such a huge part in that. Like that perception of like someone hearing, oh, I I can't have a bad day, and it's seeing that, taking that negatively, but no, that's a great thing. Imagine being able to shift the way you view things, as in everything works out for the better for my good, and it allows me to lead in in a way that's positive, in a way that improves my team and improves my life. This is I feel like this is such a powerful thing. I don't know how long it took you to learn this or where you learned this from, but I mean, it is in the I'm still learning.

SPEAKER_00

It never stops. It never stops. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's a that's amazing. Where where the where's this thought process? Where does this version of you come from? How how has this evolved over the time from, you know, starting off as an advisor yourself to where you're at now?

SPEAKER_00

You want to give credit where it's due. I've had some unbelievable mentors. And there was a specific mentor that was when I was at the New York Life Organization for 10 years, the guy that hired me and that had one-on-one coaching sessions with me. You know, I believe that I have certain talents that if I work hard and this and that, I can achieve things. But I don't think I would have been able to do what I did without his mentorship. You know, it's it's and he had a mentor that did the same thing for him, right? And and that guy before him, right? It's like that's the beauty of mentorship is, and I tell people that I hire, and it's funny because I actually stole this quote, but I tell them I don't have an original idea. Like I'm not coming up with crazy creative ideas about finance. This industry has been running full steam for almost 200 years. I don't need to have a lot of new creative ideas. I mean, with social media marketing and stuff, that's where you use your creativity. But walking a client through a process and finding out how to help them with retirement planning and how to overcome objections and how to make a phone call and how to close, I didn't invent that stuff, right? I just was coachable and I had somebody that I knew if I just leaned on their experience that it would work. And so I think it's a combination of working on yourself. Like we all know when we're doing something wrong, but not everybody, when they realize they're doing something wrong, not everybody does something about it. That's on you, right? Like you have a response, you don't need to be a genius. You're you're you have a functioning brain. If you know something is wrong and you don't do anything about it, that's a decision that you've made and that responsibility is yours. But you can you can be somebody that knows something is wrong and you choose to do something about it, which is awesome, but you still don't have a good mentor. And so I think it's a combination of trying, being determined, but really trying to put yourself in environments where you can meet people who are better than you. You know, I was I was blessed that I just happened to find this mentor, but there are some people that maybe don't have that person in their life, but you can find them if you asked. And what I found is it's so, so not what people would think. Some of the most successful people in the world, if you just ask them, listen, I look up to you so much. I I know you're busy, but I would do anything to be mentored by you. I mean, I'll work for you for free, I'll help you with your administrative tasks. I just, I would do anything to be able to learn from you. They actually might say yes. The only thing they're gonna do first is they're gonna make sure that you're not full of crap first, right? Because a lot of people, just like when I hire people, a lot of people say, Oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, but they don't always do what they say they're gonna do. So that mentor might vet you and might screen you a little bit. They might make you do a couple of uncomfortable things to prove that you're actually resilient. But once you go through that little proving ground, I'm telling you, like, if somebody didn't work for me and wasn't in my industry, but they came up to me and said, I admire you so much, I would do anything to learn from you. I'd probably say yes, right. If I thought they were serious, it would just like it feels good to help somebody who really, really cares. And I think that there's a lot of people that feel that same way. So that, you know, and I'll just wrap it up, but that's why I think it they use that cliche, right? You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with. Or well, whatever. There's a hundred variations of that. It's a cliche because it's true. And it it's it's not as hard as you think to find people that are awesome at what you want to do and surround yourself with them. It's not hard, but again, some people just don't do it because they don't want to get out of their little comfort bubble. And if they don't, that's on you. That's not on me.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, I think that's so good. And the power of a mentorship, I mean, I feel like that's something that I've steamed in. Like I think about everything you're saying, and just people who've achieved just high levels of success, they talk about the importance of of having mentorship and and what that does. I really feel like it really condenses time. I mean, all the lessons, all the scars, all the the wisdom they have being instilled into you. So you don't have to walk those same paths that they had to to figure out the things that they had to. I think that's such a powerful thing. I think when I think about younger people or people who are in their 20s or maybe even 30s, like early 30s, this illusion that we have time, this illusion that we have this, you know, I think about the catch window, you know, the name of this podcast, this this opportunity that that's just gonna always be there. Do you think people underestimate like how small this window really is to really build something meaningful? And not just like financially, but like in terms of impact or leadership or or what you're saying, right? Like even understanding the power of mentorship.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You know what? I think it's like I could answer it both yes and no. And I think both of them are right. It's like, is there a small window of time right now that if you don't seize it, you're gonna miss out on an opportunity? Yes. There's so many opportunities right in front of your face that if you don't do anything about it, you will miss the opportunity. However, for somebody that's 52 years old and has never pursued their dreams and is living with that little seed of doubt and regret in their mind, they still have time, right? Like it might not be the opportunity that you missed out on three years ago, but there's some opportunity that if you just get out of your own way and just bet on yourself and believe in yourself and push your ego down and are okay with, you know, not not caring so much about what other people think. Like this is also so cliche, but like Colonel Sanders in KFC, the dude started the company when he was so old. Like, clearly, you don't need to be in your 20s or your 30s to make a name for yourself. You can do it in your 70s. It's not as common, but it's possible. So that's why I would say yes and no.

SPEAKER_01

No, I think that's great. Yeah, I think that's such a good perspective of that because I mean, to your point on one end, right, you and you have a person who kind of wastes his time, kind of beats around the bush, thinks that life will life, they can start life whenever they want to, and that it, that it's not just passing them by. But on the other end, there's that person who who may have ambitions, who may have regrets for not pursuing things they could have when they're younger. And if if you're still alive and breathing, you have an opportunity to make make something new, to start something new, to really build something for yourself or for your reputation or for your life and build a legacy regardless of what age you are. And hey, no matter how clear, I do think that's a great example. I remember hearing that story. I thought that was the craziest thing about the idea. I thought he was just like a logo on the chicken box, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Well, Omega, there's something on that. I this is something that a lot of people will use as an excuse. And I know, like, if you have kids and you have a wife and you have a mortgage and you coach baseball, like it's not as easy when you were 20 to start a company. You have a, you know, you have a mortgage, you've got childcare bills. Like, I get it. But oftentimes, in order to like take that risk and do something awesome that you've been wanting to do but you've never done, it requires a trade-off where you have to give something up. And that's hard for people, right? Like I could tell somebody if you still need to work your day job, and you probably heard this a million times, you want to build a business, but you can't quit your day job because your day job is your main source of income and you don't have enough emergency savings to start a business from scratch. Okay, well, once you're done with your day job, you then have to spend five hours on the computer at night building your side hustle. And then after 90 days, 180 days, you're gonna see money start to come in. And then you can replace the old income with the new income, but you can't go out with your buddies. You can't, you know, play video games every single night. You can't watch your favorite Game of Thrones, whatever. Like some people are like, I really, really want to be successful, but I can't give up my evenings because that's my time where I get to chill, and that's too important to me. That's also on you, right? Like, that's a decision you're making. And so if you were to give that up and do that trade-off just for a couple of years to build this new awesome thing, very, very soon, you're gonna be able to chill again at night. You're gonna be able to go out with your friends and you'll probably be able to go out and pay for the bill and be like the friend that is like down to cover everything because you were willing to do again. That's a great quote that my mentor that I was telling you about mentioned. When I first interviewed, and I'll never forget this, he said, if you are willing to do what most people are unwilling to do for two to three years, you will have what most people will never have for the rest of your life. And I've heard him say it, I've said it to people. It's something that I've used a bunch, but I so vividly remember when he said it 10 and a half years ago. Because when I heard him say that, I was like, I'm willing to do that. Like, that's a trade-off I'm willing to do. If I have to be uncomfortable, and this is gonna suck a little bit, but if I do it for two to three years, and in exchange, I'll be able to have a skill set and a type of quality of life for the rest of my life, that sounds like a pretty good deal, right? And some people are just not willing to make that trade-off. And that's just a shame because what happens is three years go by like that, and then five years go by and 10 years go by, and then all of a sudden you're like 45 years old and you really are not happy with where you're at. And now you start saying, like, well, now it's too late. Now it's really too late. And then the other excuses come in. So that is super important. Sometimes it's not addition, it's it's subtraction. You just have to remove certain things to create space for new things.

SPEAKER_01

Man, that's so good. Yeah, especially the subtraction part. I mean, so much I feel like I've been hearing about success is is I mean, it literally reflects exactly what you're saying, especially that part about subtract subtraction and then long term versus short term. And it's hard in this society. I mean, everything is so instant gratification. I can press a button and get a couch order to my house off Amazon in like two days. I mean, when could you have done that? Like everything this day is quick. It's it's instant, it's instant. You can stream anything you want. You can do it, and I think it's so easy for people to lose sight of the importance of being able to think in long term. He's not my mentor, but Tony Robbins did say this. You know, he says, you know, specifically speaking, people like in my generation, you know, you overestimate what you can do in five years and underestimate what you can do in 20. And I think it it echoes your point of, yeah, you know, I might not be able to watch my favorite show for the next year, two years, three years. But think about the freedom and lifestyle that I'm creating by sacrificing this time right now for greater gain later. It's always, I think that'll always be the condition of this lifestyle. Either play now and work hard later, when you're more tired, have less time and energy, or you can work really hard now and play hard later when you have all the years, all the time to do whatever you want. So I completely agree with your point. And I think I think a lot of it has to do with mindset and I think even some physicality. And this is coming from the coaching, consulting standpoint of like seeing how people build habits, how people process in their mind, even things concerning exercise, like why do people put that off? Why don't people do that? Well, you're not gonna get a six-pack tomorrow, right? But think about how this is gonna start to change the way you feel and how you look and how your body operates and the energy and the vitality and the longevity that it gives you. You know, when you think, I guess think about the habits that you've clearly built that have allowed you to achieve the success you have, mentally or physically. How have those habits helped you consistently show up, you know, as the leader that you are so your team can rely on you?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I like that you bring up the whole physical, you know, six-pack example because I do think that no matter who you are, if you go to the gym every single day and eat clean and you see like a body transformation, you've already demonstrated your ability to do something that involves delayed gratification. And some people would even say that getting into really good shape for some people, it's harder than building a business, right? Like, like they'd rather make sales calls than go do cardio. Some people are not like that, some people are. But the point is, is that I do think that, yeah, physical health and habits for working out, and it's just a perfect example of delayed gratification. And I love that when you see somebody that's like shredded, you know that they couldn't just buy it. You can't like order that online, right? You you automatically have a respect for that person because no matter what else you know about them, you know that they were disciplined over a prolonged period of time. And so those people, I think, just have an easier, it's not always 100% success rate, but those people have an easier time applying that delayed gratification to something that's unrelated to fitness.

SPEAKER_01

Man, that's such a good point. So true, man. You know, I heard this a while ago, but all principles are kind of microcosms of each other. So to your point, right? I mean, if I can apply this discipline, not always, like you said, but typically if I can apply this discipline in the gym with something that's hard and grueling, I mean, how much, how much easier or how much, you know, I guess, applicable is it for me to take that same principle and apply it into business or into relationships. I mean, it's very success always closes. It's very often that you see someone succeed in one area and that can carry over to other areas because it's it's the same discipline, the same mentality. I I feel like, you know, in your position, being someone who's who's lived so much life, who's gone through so many things, I mean, heck, trying to become a name still. I mean, I I've I mean, I don't know how you can speak to it for me, I don't know how true American sniper is, but it looks like some pretty crazy stuff. I mean, I don't think I have it in me to even attempt to do what you've attempted to do. I mean, how how much does that translate to the young people? I think about someone who who sees where you're at and they're like, man, I want to get there. How much do you think they need to focus on kind of like the the systematic side of becoming a better advisor, becoming a better business person versus becoming just a better person, developing themselves, becoming someone you can trust and, you know, and rely on?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, I I hope I'm understanding the correct the the question correctly. Are you saying, is it more important to focus on the business skill or more important to focus on the well-rounded human part? Or is one more important than the other? Is that kind of the question?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. For someone younger who's kind of, they're obviously not where you're at, but they're seeing where you're at. Which one you would you say they should prioritize more?

SPEAKER_00

I think it's all connected, right? I think that you can focus on just sales skills and business skills and become good at it, but still royally screw up the rest of your life. But if you focus on being a well-rounded person, you're probably gonna be good at business. And so I think it, I think it's a smarter trajectory to focus on the overall package because business is one of the pieces of the package. But if you only focus on right, I again, and I know everybody's a little bit different, but I think that that, yeah, it's it's you gotta focus on the whole thing. And and especially in like if somebody has a day job where they get paid $20 an hour and they're just making calls all day, that's not really as entrepreneurial of a role, right? That's just a job. So that person might not need to utilize all these different life skills and mental skills, not saying that that job's easy, but it doesn't require as a person that has as much substance and depth in all of these areas. But if you're in an entrepreneurial, if you own a business or you're in an or you're in an entrepreneurial industry or you're in a performance-based, commission-based, high-paying sales role, which is kind of like owning your mini business, those are industries where it takes a toll on your mind, right? And it takes a much bigger toll on your mind if your mind isn't healthy. But when you work on all these other areas, your core essence is just much stronger. And I think that, so yeah, I would say that it in advisory, if we're talking about like my industry specifically, it's so much more than a job. You're you're you're juggling a hundred plates at any time. You're you're the head of marketing, you're the head of sales, you have to deal with back office, you're doing the follow-up emails, especially when you're new and you don't have, you don't have an assistant yet. Which in when you're new, most people don't have an assistant. They're doing it all on their own. And so, yeah, that that's kind of my thought on that is start with the whole package and it will trickle nicely into the other area versus vice versa.

SPEAKER_01

Man, that you make such a good point. And what you're saying specifically really resonates with me. Funny story. Because that's that was kind of, you know, my journey in my area of business. You know, I came in like, man, I'm gonna be super integral. Not that this stuff doesn't matter, but to your point, right? I came in like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get you create honest business and I'm gonna be the best trustworthy person. But not knowing a lick about how to actually build or scale a business, it's like that's not gonna, that's not gonna pay the bills. That's not gonna put food on the table, right? I mean, like if you don't know how to to to market or how to to do the technical sides of your business or your profession, I mean, like people don't care about your your problems. They don't care about what you you're wanting to solve and how passionate you are if you don't know how to put systems in place that allow you to succeed in these areas of business. So to your point, like being someone who's been on that side of like I come from more of the you know personal growth, like let me become the best version of myself, one without the other, is it's still inefficient, it's still ineffective. Um, I think it's so important to have both. And I mean, we see the same parallel in health and fitness, right? You have people saying, this is 80% nutrition. I don't care what percent anything is, right? One without the other is just not gonna work. I mean, I can eat as clean as I want. If I'm not moving my body and building muscle, I'm not gonna be my best. And the same thing if all I'm if I'm eating KFC and and and Caesar's pizza every day long, I'm hitting the gym hard. Both won't work, you know, to your point. I think that's that that's so true. Now, I know you you said you you kind of started doing your kind of your own thing about three months ago. And I I can see, obviously, from just the wisdom you've in you've instilled in this call. So far and the growth that you've had personally, whatever you set your hands to is going to do well. And that's not me, me brown nosing, but just from this conversation, I can tell as you're looking to scale and continue to grow and build um, you know, your business, what are some things you feel like you're having to tackle for those young people out there who are listening who want to do the same thing to allow yourself to continue to grow and scale?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, really, really good question. You know, it's there needs to be a strategy, right? It's not just um just hiring a bunch of people, although I am doing that. I mean, we've hired I've hired close to 20 people in the last 30 days. So I'm I'm moving. But what I'm really focusing on is building an infrastructure where I need to find people that are gonna also be leaders, right? Because if I'm the only experienced leader and I hire 50 people, you might say, like, wow, that's a really good, that's great recruiting. But I might not have the infrastructure to lead 50 people if I'm doing everything. Because I gotta now manage 50 people, but then I've got to run all the client meetings with all the people that are new, and then I've got to have one-on-one coaching sessions with all the people, and I've got to create the training curriculum for all the people. There's not enough infrastructure. And I'm with an awesome platform where I'm getting like support from this is a unique opportunity. And I we can get into that another time, but like I'm not alone. I was took over an agency that I have ownership in, but where I have access to systems and resources and support that's I'm so grateful for, but that's not enough, right? So I'm finding people that have been doing it for seven or eight years, right? People that can be like mini leaders that when I bring in a crop of 10 advisors that are new, some of my mini leaders can help with the joint work, can help with a training class, can help do some of those one-on-ones. And kind of like I told you in the beginning, finding good leaders is so important, right? So, like I'm being really, really meticulous and managing my time that a portion of my week must be spent looking for that one person that's gonna be the equivalent of me hiring 15 new people, right? Seriously, if you hire one really, really good leader that can do all those things and help me remove myself from all the day to day, that one hire is the same value as hiring 20 people that are brand new and don't know what they're doing. But think about how much time goes into interviewing 20 people and hiring 20 people and onboarding 20 people. And just with hiring that one right leader equals the same value as all that other time. So that's, you know, that that I would say that's probably the most important thing that I'm doing and it's going well. So we've uh we're identifying a bunch of a bunch of solid candidates.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, man, that is awesome. Huge thing to focus on. I think for people who are obviously aren't quite where you're at. I think something that you lean into a lot is the importance of of finding and developing leaders and and how much that plays into the success of a business and and the ability for a company to run smoothly. I guess this is kind of my personal question. When you think about what a good leader looks like, I know we talked about, you know, their ability to handle adversity, but on more of a, let me go more like I guess like tangible, like when it comes to like physical, how they look or how they handle things mentally, like does that kind of play a part in like what you consider a good leader? Like I know we talked a little bit about the importance of taking care of you.

SPEAKER_00

I might not be as strict as Andy Elliott. I don't know if you know who he is. Like, like if you don't have a six-pack, if you don't have a six-pack, you're fired. I wouldn't say that I'm as strict as him, but I do think that so there's there's the you know what I'm you know, you know what I'm talking about, obviously. God is a trick. Yeah. And and I'm not talking smack. I mean, the dude's doing very well, but like that's that's a very strict example of like you must have a six-pack. I think that that's a little extreme. Although I get the point, right? And there's two sides of it. I think that that person, if they're not fit or healthy or taking care of their temple, they're not gonna be able to withstand all the mental, mental hurdles that you have to jump every day. But it's it's not only that, their perception by the 50 new people when they're being led by somebody who doesn't take care of themselves, that's a separate kind of negative, right? So those are two negative things happening together. And I think, I think maybe like 60, 70 years ago, you could get away with that a little more. Like if somebody was really fat and was really, really rich, not that it was like an awesome thing, but it was more like we're we're in a much more health conscious, fitness conscious society now than I think we've ever been. And for better or for worse, who cares what my opinion is? It's just the way that it is. And so people are going to lack credibility and trust with you if you look like a slob. I I I mean, unless you're like so rich where they all and all they care about is money, but like most people aren't like that anymore. Right. It's it's it's that that that'd be like a weird exception. Where if somebody is so unhealthy but they're a great leader, then maybe they just have like a superpower of charisma. But that's very rare to have that in the modern world, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, I I agree with you. I I think we're a much more health conscious society. And I think more socially intelligent in a lot of ways, to your point, of why it would kind of feel weird to be like, okay, like this person's successful, but they're they're they don't they're something's off, like their body's not matching that, and why, even subconsciously, why someone would would not take that person as seriously. Not in like in a f like it, not thinking they're less, but like it's just I think we're more socially intelligent, like how good of a leader can this person really be if they don't prioritize their own health. Um, I completely agree with that. And to your point, I I think you're someone who's obviously you have far more experience than just most people in this business world and dealing with these scenarios. For the younger people, if if someone could know that improving their physical and mental performance would make them a better leader, how seriously would you say they should take that?

SPEAKER_00

Arguably more seriously than anything else, because like it doesn't matter how good you are, if you find out that you're gonna die because you have, you know, heart disease, because your cholesterol and your blood, like if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. So I would say that that's more important than anything because it's the vehicle and the fuel that's gonna allow you to do everything else. But I can just speak from my own experience. Like I've always been into fitness, I've always been into sports, but I haven't always been consistent. I told you when I was younger, kind of going through the finding out who I am phase. Man, I was a troublemaker. You know, like I, you know, I partied in high school and then I felt guilt and then I got my stuff together. And, you know, we're all humans, we go through the adolescent years. And, you know, the point is, is that I, after being very disciplined and showing up to the gym, I mean, I'm up at like 420 in the morning. I'm at the gym when it opens at five, literally every single day. After doing that for a prolonged period of time, you kind of feel yourself change, right? You you just stand up a little taller. You have a better reputation with yourself, right? Like, and I think Ed Milette and some other people do a good job of talking about how when you are asked to do something for somebody else, most people won't bail out on that meeting. Like if your boss says shows up at eight, show up at eight, you'll they show up at eight. If they say, hey, we've got to do this meeting at one, most people will go to the meeting at one. But when you tell yourself, I'm gonna get up at 5 a.m. and the alarm goes off and you hit snooze and you don't get up, nobody knows about it. So it's a it's your little secret. But you know about it. And even if you don't realize it in the moment, it starts to eat away at your self-esteem. You develop a reputation with yourself that you're somebody who doesn't do what they say they're gonna do. And so you kind of stop trusting yourself. Anytime you say you're gonna do something, you kind of know you're not gonna do it. And so what's the point of even setting a goal? Because I'm probably not even gonna do it, because I never do it when I say I'm gonna do it. And that is like a disease that will just destroy your the potential of your life. And so that's one of the awesome things I think about fitness is it's one of the first stepping stones in developing that positive reputation with yourself and you becoming somebody that does what you say you're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01

Amen. Gosh. I mean, hey, you're speaking my language. I can't, I can't agree to that out of my mouth. I mean, it is you talk about being able to take control of your life because you may not, you may not start with a bunch of money in your bank account. You may not start with the nicest car or the best job, but one thing you can start with is moving your body. I don't care if you have a gym, I don't care if you have to go outside, you can move your body, you can start, as you say, start building trust in yourself. People don't know. I mean, like even the word confidence, I mean, that that root word means to trust oneself. So to your point, low self-confidence comes from you hear every lie you tell. You're the only person who hears every lie you tell, and you know when you're honest with yourself and when you're not. And that is what's killing the confidence and preventing you from taking the steps and doing the things that are gonna ultimately make you successful, so powerful. Wow. Wow. It's you got some great, great advice and wisdom. I I know I've learned a lot from this and grown a lot from this. I know there's gonna be people out here who are gonna want to hear more. If if listeners want to learn more about what you're building or connect with you, where can they reach you?

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. And by the way, you asked really, really good questions. You're bright, you're super bright. I think when we when you reached out to me, I told you I looked at kind of what you've been doing and I was like, I like this guy. So right back at you.

SPEAKER_01

Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I'm I do a lot of content and and marketing on Instagram. It's Alex F Coaches, literally my my first name, last initial, Alex F. Coaches. And then I'm the managing partner of Creative Financial Networks Nationwide Virtual Agency. It's I hire and mentor people that live in all 50 states. And that is the website is CFNSFL. You can see just a little bit about kind of our team, our support, products, and services. And CFNSFL stands for Creative Financial Network South Florida because the headquarters and all of my business partners are in like the Fort Lauderdale, Miami area. So those two, that's what I would say Instagram, Alex F Coaches, and then CFNSFL.com.

SPEAKER_01

Awesome. Appreciate you. And I'll make sure to put that in the show notes as well for the listeners out there. Um, thank you so much. No, we appreciate your time. Appreciate, you know, all the wisdom and advice that you have. And uh thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, thank you. It was really nice doing this. I appreciate it. Yes.