Seriously... Speak Our Language

This week on Seriously Just Girls Nikky & Celeste put their love language to the test. They guess, they take the quiz, and lets just say... not everyone knew themselves as well as they thought. Find out what the girls really think about love languages. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Hey girl. Hey, how are you doing? I'm doing so good. How are you? I'm so good. You're having a great day.

SPEAKER_03 0:18

I am too. Really? Yes. Any day that I spend with you is a great day.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Wow. When I asked how your day was going, I was like, what if she said it's not good? But how can you not have a good day when we're filming, doing what we love?

SPEAKER_03 0:31

I'm sure there will come a time where I have to say not good to bring it to the pod and let them know what's going on. But that that's not today. So the day is not today. Blessings.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

The day is good.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

How's your week going? It's going really good. I'm having a fabulous week. Really? Yeah, and I have an exciting weekend coming up. And yeah, I'm just excited. What about you? I'm having a good week. Oh. Are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:00

No, I am. It's a good week. It's a good time. The sun is shining. I have gotten back into reading. And it just when you are just so sucked into I don't know if you've ever been so sucked into a show where you just, oh my gosh, I wonder what my characters are doing. That's me with this freaking book.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

And I need to finish it because I need to know how it ends. No, that used to be me when I was in middle school and I first watched Wintry Hill. You've never watched it. I need you to watch it. No, girl, you have your friends mistaken. Oh. I love what you're watching. Drive Haley's the one that hasn't. Yes. I went through a little phase where I rewatched the show like five times. That's my comfort show. Same. But I watched it for the first time in middle school, and I remember I would run home to like be able to watch it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Hey Lucas, what are you guys up to today? Let's move by book.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

I remember when Dan when the dealership got set on fire. I just want to know what happened so bad, and I was like, that was the season of cliffhangers.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

They were starting to get too. Sometimes I watch a show and it's a cliffhanger, and I'm like, oh thank God the whole season's out. I can't believe there was a time where we had to wait seven days. I know.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

I mean, you guys have to wait seven days to hear from us.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Yeah, I bet you must be on edge. Wondering how they're doing. Just wondering what's next.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

We just had a yogurt bowl and it put me in the best mood.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

I was hungry. If not, you guys would probably hear my stomach growling.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Yeah, that was so good. That really hit the spot.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Well, here we are. Here we are. And today's episode, I'm really excited about. I am so excited. Me too. And I want to talk about love for 45 minutes. Just kidding. I don't know how long this will be.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

But I think it'll be for a while. But whatever.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

I could talk about this forever and ever.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

So Nikki and I are gonna talk about love languages.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

And if you don't know what love languages are, let me pull up what the five love languages are and their definitions because I don't want to get this wrong. The five love languages are acts of service, quality of time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch. What do you think is your love language? All of them.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

I need a little bit of each.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

I think my main one is gonna be acts of service. But it's almost tied with words of affirmation. I am like, tell me you love me, tell me I'm beautiful, tell me you want me, but also show me that you just think I'm irreplaceable. What do you think your love language is?

SPEAKER_03 3:41

I think mine is definitely acts of service and physical touch. Ooh, what do you think?

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah, girl, yours is physical touch.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Yeah, but yeah. Asked and answered.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

I think yours is receiving gifts. That doesn't make you materialistic. I just think but I think you value someone who puts thought and effort into a gift for yourself, something that you've been wanting, thinking about.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

A million percent. I can't believe that was not the first one to come to my mind.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

I don't know why it wasn't. I feel like it was pretty clear.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Anywho, I do love gifts, but I don't think that's the only thing I need in a relationship. I think that's why I picked the other ones. Because you can buy me a lot of gifts, but if you don't tell me you love me, I can't do it. So that's what I think mines are. We did take a test, but you said yours is physical touch. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Let me tell you why.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

Like, yeah, why? I'm like, what do you know?

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Me and Celeste like to have sleepovers, and it's a good time.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Like, here's the thing though, we start on like Celeste has a big old bed, and we start on opposite sides of the beds, and somehow I wake up and this girl's like he's on my shoulder, like she's trying to spoon me.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

I'm like, okay. My girl's hot, and I always wake up like you really love me.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

But you always sleep with Christian, your godson.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

So I can't be near him though. He we don't cuddle. What? Wow. He is a kicker. So and when I'm around Chris, I kick too. I don't know why. But we kind of like end up on like opposite sides of the bed.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Maybe you and maybe it's because you sleep too similarly.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Probably.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

No, you didn't kick me. You just like I wake up and I'm like, all right, I can see your head, I can see your head. Like I'm the man. I'm like, okay, baby. So yeah, that's it. I think yours is physical touch a thousand percent.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Yeah, I do. I do feel very loved when there's some physical touch.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yeah, and you're so sweet. Like every time you greet me, you like hug me, a little kiss on the cheek. I'm like, okay, hey girl. Should we see what our test says? We've been waiting to answer the last few questions because we want to get our honest, raw life reactions. Yeah. Okay, I had to answer these.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

What's your result?

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Mine is receiving gifts. You wanna know what mine is? You wanna know about mom's? You wanna talk about mom?

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Oh, that's how it goes. Words of affirmation. Like I said. Really? Yes. I need you to tell me you love me. I think mine is gonna buy something. I feel like I didn't click the gifts one. Do you like when someone goes? You really don't like gifts or something? You love gifts.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

You were crying when you were reading your birthday cards.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

Are you sure? You're right, actually, you're right. I don't know. I mean what the other one gives.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

So less is disappointed.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

Why do you think it's wrong? I think that mine is acts of service. Or physical touch.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

But it's okay, I do love gifts.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

I said I like them all.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

So I do like them all. So really none of them are wrong. That way. So I'm done with that. No, I love words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Like I need you to just tell me how I feel. Tell you how I feel.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Wait, tell tell you they tell you how you feel. They tell you how they feel. Goddamn. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Precisely. But also, it's not just that, but I also want to know like how you feel about yourself and how you feel just in general, yeah. Yeah, and what you think about us and what future plans you have for us. Like, I just love letters and all that shebang. I do think that my follow-up would be acts of service, because I did a lot of those questions that were saying they go run an errand for you when you're super busy or overwhelmed or whatever. I do be liking that.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Well, I guess mine is gifts.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

But I love that's alright, Celeste. Some of us really like gifts. No, I love it. What do you mean you went and got some flowers for me? Yeah, you knew that I was talking about something and you went out of your way to get it. Thank you. You're right. I love it. It doesn't mean pissed.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

I'm not pissed. I just thought it was something else. You thought you knew yourself. I thought I knew myself, but no. That's not so fun about those quizzes. Yeah, my love language is receiving gifts. So if you want a shot with me, get me gifts.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

You're like my Amazon wish list will be linked below. My Oritia. No, mine's is my gift giving is definitely up there. Like, I made a list for my birthday and Christmas. And because like I know what I want. Let's not play games.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Money is tight.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Let me tell you what I want. I don't want you to waste your time and I don't want you to waste mine.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Kidding, kidding, kidding. I don't know anything. That's funny.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Okay, let's rank them. Because I think I love all the ranges.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Let's just pull them up.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Yeah, pull them up. Let's pull it up. Okay. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Okay. My favorite is physical touch. No, it's not. My favorite is acts of service because I think if you're doing things to constantly make my life easier, that's so thoughtful of you. And I love when things get taken off my plate. And then it's definitely gonna be physical touch. I love everything about it. I would feel so cared for when someone just holds your hand, when someone gives you a forehead kiss. I don't know. I just loved it. I feel like anytime somebody, even like when we're driving and their hand on my lap, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Just nothing crazy, but it makes you feel it's a really nice way to reassure your partner and acknowledge their presence. I agree. It is really nice.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

I really love physical touch. And I even with like my nephews and like my nieces, like I just love hugging them and Christian and like the little babies. I love holding their hands because it's just so cute. My next one, I think, would be words of affirmation. I love to hear it. I love to know exactly what you're thinking. I want to hear how you're thinking, I want to hear how you feel. And then I think it's gonna be receiving gifts and then quality time for me. That's my ranking. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

I think mine is gonna be words of affirmation and then it's gonna be acts of service. Just help your girl out. But also I love I love seeing a like a man not just help me, but help someone else out. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

You're so attentive, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:01

You're so generous, like so helpful, like and then I think I want to say receiving gifts, but I actually think quality time, just because me and my partner right now don't get a lot of that, and so I just crave it more. Like I I really don't see that man that much. Love you, Pookie. But because it is so rare that we get a ton of quality time, I just crave it more.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

I think it depends on the relationship and on the situation a thousand percent. You're right. I didn't when I was going through something and I didn't see the man a lot, I feel like I craved the quality time. Yes. So I think it just depends. But I didn't mind when I would get flowers on my door, so period.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

So I think quality time and receiving gifts. Receiving gifts go hand in hand. And then I think physical touch. I love it. I love being acknowledged, reassured, and just I mean, I like I like it when we're around people and they just like they just want to show that we're together and that he's proud of me and happy with me and you know, all that good stuff. But I could do without it too. No, you know, if I look into that, then I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Really? Yeah. I feel like you're a very like need my space type of girl. 1000%.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

I'm not. Even if we're in an argument, I don't know, get on your knees, starting like I'm just kidding. That doesn't even relate to like what we're talking about. Even if we're in an argument, give me a hug. I don't know. Make me feel appreciated, loved, even if we're fighting.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Yeah, I think which is actually funny because I well, it's not funny. It makes sense. The only time I really am affectionate is with my partner. I feel like it takes a lot for me to be affectionate with my family and my friends, and I've I've gotten to be more affectionate, but there's a time when people would call me like cold or distant. Yeah, because I just Okay, I also have a problem with germs, and I think that is a big reason why it's not my favorite. Like, that's okay if you don't want to kiss me, like wash your wash your mouth. It's okay if you don't want to hold my hands. I I saw you touch the railing. Oh my gosh. Yes, I notice all that, and so it makes me not 100% comfortable sometimes. Yeah, okay. So yeah, that's why that's at the bottom. I don't think I'm a germophobe to that extent. You didn't have to call me any names.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

Because I'm a germophobe too, and I feel like we're the same, but I would never it's different with your partner. Yeah, I think so. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Like, don't come near me. Like, I could do with that. Do you think that there's like a big difference between like your love languages and your relationships and your love languages in a friendship? For sure. What's your ranking in a friendship?

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Let me look at this again.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

What's your number one in a friendship?

SPEAKER_03 13:57

Receiving gifts. No, I think it's definitely quality time with my friends. Cause I think we have the best time together, so it's like I just want to hang out and be able to talk. And if I had to choose another one, I would say words of affirmation. I think it's really nice when your friends are telling you they miss you, like they want to see you, you know, trying to figure out times to hang out.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

I don't really be telling you that.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

I almost started telling you that. I was like, what? I miss you every day. What about you? I think is acts of service too much. Go up to my door if I'm not doing well.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

No, that's good. I would. Yeah. And you do. Oh, thank you. I don't I was like, I'm trying to I was trying to think back to if I had ever showed up.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

No, I've never needed. Okay, that's the problem. I don't think I'm an extremely emotionally needy friend per se. I think I need to work on that where I I don't express myself enough in the moment. Afterwards, I'll be like, yeah, a month ago I was doing terribly.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

I feel like you'll tell me after the fact. But maybe that's my fault, and maybe I need to check in on you more often. Oh my gosh. Girlhood. I do check on you though. Like you talk a lot.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yeah, you're like, hey, what's up? How you doing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

Yeah. But I need to do bitter about it.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Okay. Yeah, and then I think if I had to pick another one, it would probably be quality time, but I feel like that's such a given. Duh, I want to see you. Duh, I wanna have a girl's night. Duh, I wanna eat together. That is the best part about being friends with my friends, is that we do fun things together. And if you just see something, you think I'll go ahead and pick it up for me.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

I feel like I like giving gifts too though. Yeah, I love giving gifts. Love it's so much. If I had a gazillion dollars, everybody would be receiving receiving receiving gifts. Receiving gifts all the time. But I don't have a gazillion dollars. And unfortunately, I spend money too fast sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

You just are so good at that.

unknown 16:01

Bipping.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I don't know what category this would fall into, but I really love when someone like commits to something. If they say, Oh yeah, I'm gonna take you on a date on Friday, or let's hang out. They follow through. They follow through.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

They show commitment, they don't flake. Yes, I don't know if that's girl. I am passionate about this. You are so passionate. I hate when someone tells me they're gonna do something and they don't do it. Yes, like don't make the reasons like not valid. Oh my god. Bro, I'm chilling. If I don't need you to do anything for me. The minute you tell me you're gonna do something, if you show me you can't come through with what you said you were gonna do, dude, you're not a man of your words. Like, you suck. I'm sorry. I'm also such a yes person that I want to do everything for everyone. So sometimes I'm like struggling to make all these things happen, but one way or another I have to figure it out because I hate when people don't follow through.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

You are very good about following through. So I think it's good that you have high expectations for that because Celeste is very she could have five million things to do, but if she said she was gonna do something, she's like, okay, like I might be there at this time instead of this time, but I'm still gonna make it happen. And I think that's really important. Just be accommodating. Yeah, my problem is I just say yes to two things. Yes. One of my words for this year was yes. Period. Uh I'd be double booking though.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

I just get so excited.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

I'm like, yeah. And then I'm like, do you guys want to do it together? I'd be trying to combine my friend groups. Same. It's just fun. I just want to be with everybody. But I think you are more than valid to have high expectations with that because you are, I will say, you are really good at that.

unknown 17:39

Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

And I really appreciate it because it just makes me feel like I can count on you.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Thanks. Oh, it makes me feel so good. I also sorry, I don't know where I was going with that.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

Looking at these five languages definitions, I love that it says like the primary language, the identifying language, and the application. Like, yeah, period. I'm bilingual. Do you want me to touch you and tell you that I love you? I'll do it. I'll do it. I think it's so funny. Do you think that a relationship can work if the love languages are different?

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Yeah. I think yeah. Mm-hmm. I think it depends on which ones, though. I think there are ways for us to teach each other and show each other how to be loved, but I do think if you only give me words of affirmation, but you don't give me anything else, or you don't give me or you give me everything else except access service. Ooh, yeah, yeah. You know, I feel like I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

I feel like there has to be a balance. There's no way that it can only be one. Yeah. That just does that wouldn't work for me.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Because you could buy me a ton of gifts and I love it, but if I never see you, what are we doing here? Yeah. Like at this point, you're just my personal shopper.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

I do think that they can they can work. I do think. Yeah. Especially when you want to be with somebody. Oh. You're gonna make it work.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Yes, and I also think like you like how we said it's based off situations. So if you're with a guy, like quality time maybe wouldn't have been my number one pick a couple years ago, but now I cherish it so much more.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

But let's say I saw him every single day, maybe it would be different. Yeah. Maybe my ranking would have been different.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Yeah, I think it just depends on the relationship, on the environment, how often you're seeing that person.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Also depends like how good someone is at a love language will make me love it more, if that makes sense. It's if you're with someone who's a very affectionate person, you will crave it more and you will just be more comfortable with it. Or I mean, with anything with words of affirmation. I used to get uncomfortable sometimes with words of affirmation because my family is not a very verbal family. I don't think that's anyone else's love language in this house, but it's mine. But maybe it's because I lacked it growing up. I I don't know. I think it's it's so situational and it can change.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Yeah, I think with how you grew up says a lot about it too. I don't think my parents my parents were definitely very definitely gave a lot of words of affirmation. But I don't feel like I got a lot of like physical touch. No, I was gonna say quality time. I feel like we hung out a lot, but it wasn't very like intentional, if that makes sense. At least with each kid individually, maybe. So I think that's I mean that wasn't one of my top, but could be.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Yeah, and I think I'm so comfortable with quality time because I do spend a lot of quality time with my family. We're growing up, not maybe so much anymore, because we're just older and everyone's busy and they got their own thing going on, but growing up definitely. My dad was like, no one's allowed to hang out with their friends on the weekends, it's just us.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Dad, it's a birthday party.

unknown 20:51

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

He's invite them over. Oh what do you think is your weakest love language? As in showing someone.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

I this is gonna be so cocky. I think I'm a perfect girlfriend. I think I do really well with words of affirmation. Like I'm being serious.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Maybe as I talk through this, maybe I'll realize a rounded love, loving person.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Yeah, but maybe as I talk through this, maybe I'll realize oh no, I actually lack in that. But I feel like I was really good with words of affirmation. Like I love to tell somebody what they mean to me, and I was very like cheesy in like some way. And quality time too. I love hanging out with my partner. If you're my partner, I love hanging out with you. I feel like I did a good job at giving gifts or like getting things that were thoughtful for that person. Access service, I feel was my biggest one. I was always very, very if you need something done, I get it done. If you need me to do something for you, I get it done. I feel like I'm very good in that. And physical touch is my favorite, so I'm always I'm always touch and kiss and I'm doing the whole thing because I love it. So honestly, I think I'm perfect. Period. That sounds bad.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

I think that I I feel like I I am a very loving person, so I think I'm very well-rounded too. I definitely I think I used to be too good at all of them. And I feel like I needed to dial it back. Like, why do I need to be everything to a man? You're right. I just I guess maybe that's just with evolving. And now I think I'm like through the trauma, it's just I'm not as strong as I used to be. I'm getting there again, and that just is coming with time and trusting my partner. But I think that I I think that I could probably work on the acts of service that comes. And I mean, don't get me wrong, I help my partner. He's not like, hey, can you help me with this? And I'm like, heck no, you're on your own, buddy. But I just there's that little monster in my head that's like, be careful who you overextend yourself for, be careful who you bend backwards for. Yeah. And that's just my part that's not just my partner, that's with friendships too. Like, I I do worry about being everything to anyone and then not gonna just being broken in the end and just being disappointed.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

Right. I do feel like I really, especially like just with that last relationship. One thing that I really have tried to like dial into my brain is I'm not gonna let someone affect the next person's experience with me.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

No, I think no, that's awesome. My therapist told me that. Don't let these experiences dim your light. And that's not at all, but I do think like we could learn a little bit and we could be like, okay, not too much.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

And I think I definitely have you know understood that too. But I want not too much too soon. Yeah, not yeah, definitely. That's you're gonna get everything if you're reciprocating and you're doing everything I need as well. But yeah, you're not getting everything within the first day or two, like every week.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

More with anyone, like when I make a new friend, I am so selective, but I think it's because more than with a man, my friends, like you, whatever you need, girl, I'm there for you, and I will do it for you, and I will figure it out. And I feel like you know that saying, I'll go to hell and back for you. I feel like I'm very like that with my friends.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

I think you are too.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

And I'm like that with my partners too, but I'm like, why are you taking me to hell with you? True. You should not be taking me to hell with you, but that it's the same for friendships too. Like, we should not be doing that. Absolutely not. And that shouldn't, I I don't want that to be like a normal or healthy thing at all. It's not, but I would like to be better at acts of service for everyone in my life because I think that is a really good way to just show up for people.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

I love it. I'm trying to think what I lack in friendships. What do you think I lack in friendships?

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Uh I would probably say words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

Okay. I'll tell you more. That I love you.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

And it's it's not, I don't know. It I mean, I obviously I like to hear it and I love all that stuff, but I think words of affirmation also upon yourself, maybe. How what do I want to say? I I think maybe if there is one that you're a little lesser than the others, it would probably be words of affirmation. Yeah. But just because I think we skim over that, we're just having too much fun to be sappy, you know. The most sappy we are is on this pod. I know. Because we're just so excited, and it's just like us on one conversation. Because when it's when we're not recording, we're like hopping from topic to topic. Literally, and there's no time.

SPEAKER_03 25:44

There's no time to say I love you. Like I would say the same for you. Yeah. But I think it's because I and I don't think that we necessarily need it because we show up for each other in other ways. Exactly. Quality time. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

We're so strong in the other ones that it the some don't even matter. And maybe like my I have a I have a long distance bestie, and I feel like words of affirmation is more, and ours, like, I will tell her, like, dude, I miss you. I wish you were here. I love you. I'm really happy that we're friends. Because it's means it literally is lacking the distance. Right. And so I think that everything's so situational. There is like not, it's not one size fits all these love languages. I wonder, I'm like, you listening right now, what's your love language?

SPEAKER_03 26:31

Have you ever felt like you ignored your own love language or your own needs because someone else's love language was different than yours? No. Never? No, and I don't think that you should.

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Yeah, no. I think that I've been patient and I've been understanding and I've been willing to teach. Right. You know, because I think a big part of relationship is communicating. Yeah. You know the person a thousand percent and you can't read their mind, you do have to communicate about it. So never subtle. Like I I think that if it's so important to you and you're always gonna lack that for the rest of your life, it's not worth it. I'm sure you can find someone that matches you better. But if you find someone that you they have so many qualities that you love, and maybe they're just not super comfortable with a certain sort of affection, that's something that can totally be worked on, I think. And as long as they're open-minded to it, I think it's fine. But no, I have never compromised.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

Do you feel more understood in friendships or relationships? I think Wow, that's a really good question. I think in this time of my life, I feel more understood by my friends than a relationship. I feel like a relationship's in this moment it's not what I'm like looking for, I guess, or it's not something I'm like putting so much effort or attention into. So my friends right now, I just feel I don't know. I feel like even when I was in a relationship, I now looking back looking back too, I just felt so understood by you guys and how you guys made me feel, you know? So that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

That is a crazy question. Do I feel more underst what the question was if I feel more understood by my friends or my relationship? I don't know why this is like gagging me right now. I think I feel very understood by my friends and I kind of always kind of always have, I think. But my problem with relationships in the past is that I've been very naive and I've been very I feel like they understand my love language and because they have they got so good at it that it blinded me to other things. So I don't think I ever felt misunderstood lovingly, but I I guess I'm gonna say my friends because it's been genuine understanding and it's been with genuine intentions, yeah, and not manipulation.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Okay, last question about it. Do you communicate your needs to friends or do you just expect it? I think I'm very communicative. I think I've gotten v really well with communicating. Yeah. I think I will let you guys know for sure. Yes. If I feel like if we really admire that too. If I literally, I hope he listens, and if he does not, but my friend Jordy, I swear, I feel like he does not appreciate my friendship. And I tell this man, I told him yesterday at dinner, I said, you know what? You don't appreciate our friend group.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

I just told one of my friends said, I was like, You are not a good friend to me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:30

And he was like, What do you mean? He was like, I don't hang out with any of my other friends, I only hang out with you guys when I'm not busy. I was like, Well, you make it feel It's not enough. It's not enough. And my other friends, Jazz and Willie, they were like laughing about it. And I was like, I'm being serious. You need to put more effort into it. Yeah. Anyway, we're going out this Saturday. We're going out this Saturday, so good for you.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

Good for you. I'm glad for you.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

I it's no shade. Like, I love my friends, so I hope they don't feel like I'm like, Jordy's a lawyer, he's busy. He always responds, so it's not like he's this terrible guy, but I just I need some more pal.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

I think I've gotten better at communicating, definitely. But my thing is that I think that I am too empathetic. I'm like, oh well, maybe they're just not doing this because then I get mad at you for that. I know you do. I feel like you knew what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

Like, I'm like, Nikki will literally Nikki has a very good heart, and so Nikki will be like, well, they're going through this. They're going I'm like, Nikki, shut up, dude. No, I'm going through this, and here I am at your door every single day. No. They just aren't a good friend, or they're not a good per oh partner? Partner, whatever the situation is, whoever they are.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

I have to set Nikki straight sometimes because I'm like, So I do think maybe I'm not as good at communicating my needs as I should be. Now that I take back what I said, I haven't gotten better.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

No, but I feel but it takes two. Yes, I was gonna say, I feel when someone gives you that energy where you can be honest and open with them, I think you are better about it. Because I feel like with me, I feel there was a time between me and Nikki where we we kind of beefed a little. Giggle, giggle. Awkward giggle. This is awkward. No, but there was a time where me and you we weren't really clicking for a while. And eventually, I don't know where it clicked. I think we did get into a weird fight one time.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Yeah, like because you were like, what is going on in your head? What are you thinking? What is Are you talking about this winter? Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about too. You called me because you're better at communicating, and you're like, let's talk. Tell me how you feel, tell me what you think, tell me what you need, like, how can I be a better friend? And honestly, no one had ever asked me that before. No one had really said those words, like, what do you need? And like, what is going on? And I just was like, Okay, this is where I need to grow, and this is where I need to stand and talk. And like I said, it takes two. You gave me the opportunity to express myself in a safe way. I was definitely not like that though.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

I would definitely keep things to myself. But Haley actually is very, she swears she's not confrontational. This girl. She's very confrontational, she could teach a class on it, yeah. And she has taught me how to be so, and she does it in a way. In a respectful role. So I think from her. And I'm glad. Isn't that crazy that we like I learned this from Haley, you learn it from me, but we all learned it from Haley. No, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Beautiful. That is beautiful. I love that. Was your parents' strongest love language towards you?

SPEAKER_03 32:40

My dad was always it's so weird because my sister says that her love language for my dad was receiving gifts. My dad always gave her gifts and gave her money. And I feel like I got gifts and money from my dad too, but I feel like I got more quality time from my dad. My dad was very like, let's go to the the store, come with me. I have to drive here, come with me, like stuff like that. Sorry, Roseanne. I think my dad just really liked to hang out with me. And as for my mom, my mom was definitely not words of affirmation. I really had to pull dad out of here. She's better now. I think my mom is acts of service for sure. Like when I was younger, my mom would take lunch for me at school, or you know, she would go pick me up and then we would go and do something like go shopping. I remember I was really sad over a guy one time, and we went to the mall and she bought me perfume. Yeah, like she was very that was her way of giving me love.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Yeah, I think my dad's for sure is was and is gift giving. My dad, he's a businessman, and I understand that. But I I try to take it out of him. I'm like, so dad, ask me about my day. Dad, what's your favorite thing about me? Yeah, I'll sit at the counter and I'm like, Yeah, literally. I'm about my day right now. Here's the thing about my dad. I think my dad's love language is quality time. My dad loves to go out to lunch together and breakfast, and who wants me to go hiking with him and camping? And I'm like, damn, dude.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

Why does it always have to be a physical activity?

SPEAKER_03 34:13

Why can't we just watch Twilight together? No, seriously.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

But no, we used to watch a lot of movies growing up, so I think he's very consistent with gift giving, but I think truly it's quality time. And my mom, she is the epitome. Epitymum? Epitome? Epitome. My mom I don't know which one it is. Epitome of love. That girl is love on all four sides of her. Um, but not consistently. It's really funny. She goes through phases. My mom goes through phases, but she's so sweet because a couple months ago, I don't know how it came up, but I was saying, you guys never hugged us growing up. My mom never hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, never really, really truly cuddled me. And the other day I was really upset about something, and I cried and she came up and she rubbed my back and played with my hair, which is like not something she would usually do. Yeah, she usually would just start crying with me, but she didn't this time. And afterwards, I was like, Oh my gosh, it's because of what I said a couple months ago.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

So she's such a sweetie pipe. Yeah, one time my parents, I was really upset too. And then I was I was standing, they were all busy, and I was like, Can I just get a hug? And they all came and hugged me, and I just bawled, I sobbed. It's so good to be in that though, to just be hugged by your parents.

SPEAKER_01 35:31

Oh my gosh, it is a game changer.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

I was like, we never do this. We should do this more often. That's so funny. Based on all these love language, do you think that you are easy or hard to love?

SPEAKER_03 35:46

I think easy. I think easy too. For yourself? Yeah. For sure. I think it's not hard at all to give me all that.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Wait, I I think I just lied. I don't think it's that easy to love me.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

Really?

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Yeah. Cause I require all the love languages.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Oh, well, so do I, but how hard can that be to give?

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Period. Period.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

No, yeah, I think that I think it takes quite some effort to love me. But you know what? You're just gonna love me so much, it's in it. You're just gonna want to. Yeah, you're just gonna want to. You're gonna be like, I love this woman and I want her in my life forever. Period. So let me let me learn how to do everything.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Let's play a game. Let's we love games on this pod. I actually got a DM from a very good friend, and she was like, I was listening to your pod with my sister. You know who I'm talking about. And she was like, We were playing the game with you guys, and I was like, Ah!

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Oh my gosh!

SPEAKER_03 36:58

I was like, girl, I'll get you on the show.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

I'll see you next Wednesday.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

I thought that was so sweet. So we want to definitely start implementing more games like this on. I love these little segments. So the game that we're gonna play is is it love or are you being gaslit? First one. He never posts you, but always checks if you got home safe.

SPEAKER_02 37:21

I think that can be a love language. You think? Hey, wait, wait, wait. You know how last episode was about red flags? Someone texted me and was like, is it a red flag if he never posts me? I'm like, girl, I can't believe I left that out the episode.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Hell yeah! Hell yeah. Damn. We did forget about that. Mm-hmm. That's that's definitely a big red flag.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

You're right. This is you're being gaslit. He never posts you, but always checks you if you get home. He might just be nosy. Yeah, he's nosy.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

He randomly sends you money just because green flag. And yes, that is his his love language is gift giving.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

Yeah, for sure. Just make sure it's not the only one.

SPEAKER_03 38:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

But other than that, we love that love language. Apple Pay me right now. Zell me right now.

SPEAKER_03 38:13

He doesn't text much, but plans full thoughtful dates. That's a love language. Yeah, I think so too. Some people just aren't texters. I actually love a man who's not on his phone. And I also like when I get to see you the next time and it's like, oh, like we actually have stuff to catch up on.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

Yes, that has been definitely the silver lining of my situation going on. There's so much to say. Yeah. He compliments you, but only when you look really good. That's kind of a backhanded sentence. Yeah. What do you mean when you only look really good? Like he doesn't compliment you and you have no makeup on, basically. You're being gaslit. AF. Wait, he wants to cuddle 24-7, but avoids deep conversations. So he's an avoidant. And you're being gaslit into thinking he likes you. Because he doesn't. He does not. He doesn't like you.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

He remembers small details you told him months ago. Oh my gosh. Of course that's a love language. That is so sweet. He buys you gifts but doesn't spend real time with you. Oh. Yeah, not. He doesn't like you lover. Yeah, he doesn't like you. Yeah, he doesn't like you. He always invites you to everything with his friends and family. I love that. Gaslet. Are you serious? Oh wait.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

Sorry. Love. He supports your goals but isn't affectionate. He's just underdeveloped, but he likes you.

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Yeah. Especially if he supports your goals. Yeah, he loves you. How is he supporting your goals? Is he putting money into your goals? Is he what is he doing?

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

He sends you long paragraphs instead of calling. I don't like that. I'd rather be called. But what if that's just his personality?

SPEAKER_02 39:57

He just doesn't feel comfortable. Man up. Period.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

I'm a little guilty of that. He drives to see you late at night but doesn't plan ahead. He comes over late at night. Honestly, all those are red flags. If he's just coming over late at night. Yeah, everything about that is like a He's a lustful man. Lustful, lustful, lustful man. No, but those are the worst.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

They are the worst. They are like, they're so how would you say dangerous? And probably ugly. The problem with lustful man is I I also think that we could get into a little bit how physical touch is so misunderstood. And I don't think physical touch is just, I mean intimacy is very important in any relationship, I think. But I don't think that that's all physical touch is, but I think some men do manipulate it. And they're like, oh my love language is just physical touch. Brother, when a girl says her love language is physical touch, green flag. When a guy says it, red, yeah, go away. What do you mean? Do you even know what the other ones are? Right. Uh I was in a conversation with a man. I was not talking to this little monster, but we were in a conversation and he was like, Yeah, my love language is physical touch. What's yours?

SPEAKER_01 41:20

Nothing you were lying to you.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

Blocking you, running away from you. That is too good. Who is this? Uh, it was this guy from ASU, and we had biology class together, and we were just chit-chatting because we had like finished our work for the day, and we were just talking about like relationships and stuff, and I was like, please remind me to like never be alone with you. Like teacher, yeah, move me. The thing is, I when you when a man says that I just know that that's the only love language he knows. Like, he doesn't even know what the other four are. Yeah, he's just no, I just love being affectionate, and it's like, no, brother, you're lustful. Get get on my face. Bare minimum or a love language.

SPEAKER_03 42:15

Texting good morning every day. Bare minimum. Right. Acknowledge me, brother. Calling you instead of texting, I think is a love language. Some people just text and it's boring and bare minimum. Yeah, and they call you feel like there's more. Love language. Yeah. Paying for dates. Bare minimum.

SPEAKER_02 42:34

Bare minimum. Opening doors. Bare minimum. I know some people, and that's a love language, but I'm telling you right now, ladies, that is bare minimum. Right.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Posting you on social media. Oh. It's bare minimum. It is. She's looking at me like it's not.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

I don't know. Like this is This is why I have trouble with it. It's because some people are very private. I don't care. Find a way to do it even if it's private. Private but not secret, right? Yeah, private. You're right. Bare minimum. Bare minimum. Remembering your birthday? What questions are these?

SPEAKER_03 43:14

Google. Picking you up instead of making you drive. That is bare minimum. That is that is not even bare minimum.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

That is like the bar is low. The bar is on the floor.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

The bar is down with the devil. If okay. If you guys have been together for a while and he's like, hey babe, like I'm I'm over here in this location.

SPEAKER_01 43:36

Actually, no, he should always pick you up. He should always.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Yeah. Making time to see you weekly. Bare minimum.

SPEAKER_03 43:43

Yeah. Why are we only seeing each other once a week?

SPEAKER_02 43:45

Saying, I'm proud of you.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

That's a love language. Words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_02 43:49

Yeah. Like some people don't say that, but then do other great things too.

SPEAKER_03 43:54

Sharing their location with you. For me, I think that's bare minimum. I also think that's bare.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

Why are you waiting for me and the girls okay? Do you remember? Oh yeah, when some guy shared his location with you after two in-person visits. Okay, buddy. I said, hey, turn it up. Hey, that's gaslighting them. The way he did it. And we shared locations for months.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

Yeah, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about a relationship. Giving you their password. That's dogsing. Don't give anyone your password.

SPEAKER_01 44:36

Yeah, never. Don't why did you do that? What you said, yeah, never. Okay, babe one, because you'll figure it out on your own. You know what? Too much. They always gave it to me. And they love giving it to you.

SPEAKER_03 44:51

They love me knowing everything about them. Cutting off other girls without you asking. Bare minimum. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 45:02

No, I'll do you one better when they unfollow girls and you didn't even have to tell them. They're just like, okay, I'm in a relationship.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

I think no need bare minimum. It's respectful. But still very bare minimum. Yeah. You should be doing that 100%. You're right, you're right. Do you do that in a relationship?

unknown 45:20

No.

SPEAKER_03 45:20

I'm kidding. I do unfollow. Like if I had a thing with that person, I do unfollow them.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

I do that too, but not when I'm in a relationship. When I'm done with you, I'm just like, what's the point in looking at my thing? I'm not like that. No, I'm like that. Especially when I was dating and single, I was like, okay, bye. No, I won't be. I'm very like out of sight, out of mind. I am too. Like, I am, but I wanted you to see. Well, yeah, I don't remove them. I just unfollow them. And half the time they don't unfollow me back. They're like, they want to see. Right. They stay right there.

SPEAKER_03 45:52

Have you ever called something bare minimum just because you didn't like them?

SPEAKER_02 45:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:01

Absolutely. I've also said something was like really toxic when it wasn't just because I didn't like it. No, yeah. So I was like, no, but the way they did this, like, that is such a red flag, and you just never know.

SPEAKER_03 46:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

I'm like, no. No, my when I didn't like someone, I would just be like, well, the potential of it going bad was really big. So I can't do that. That was fun. I'm like, let me get real comfy here. That was really fun. I love talking about love.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

Me too.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

It's just so much fun. I think that there's so many different ways to go about it. And I love that we talked about friendships too. Because that is those are some big loves in our lives. And I think it's so important. What are you so seriously serious about today?

SPEAKER_03 46:55

Gonna give out some free promo right here. Miss Loves Cafe. Oh, their cocoa pebble, cocoa pebble iced coffee. It's so good, you guys. I literally drink it in two seconds and then I eat the freaking cocoa pebbles. It's an experience. It's an expert I take everybody. Like Nikki, we have to go. We have to go again. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

I I have that place once a week because of this. No, the banana matcha was really good. I didn't love the Lucky Charms all day, but I did love the matcha.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

I haven't tried anything else because the cocoa pebbles, or it's not pebbles, it's cocoa puffs. Yes. It's like the Disneyland. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

The things about I think ordering anywhere is don't fix what's not broken. Just keep getting what we're checking. Keep getting what we're doing. And that's what I need to do.

SPEAKER_03 47:43

Yeah, so I literally drink it in two seconds and then I scoop it out and it's like cereal. Gosh, it's so good. Like I think about it every morning. I need to figure out how to make it just. My favorite bowl of cereal. It's my favorite bowl of cereal. She likes a little bit of coffee with her cereal.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

What about you? What are you so seriously serious about? I am so seriously serious about this ground beef and veggies bowl you're gonna make me.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

I am so seriously serious about getting tan this summer. I've already started and I feel like I'm a little tan. We need to go to the beach.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

I wanna go to the beach. We need to go because I'm I feel my best when I'm tan. I feel ten times more beautiful. Like attractive. I feel so good about myself when I'm tan. I'm a self-tanner, but I haven't self-tanned in a minute. And also this last trip, I didn't get to self-tan.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

I I think I look healthier.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

Yeah, I look healthier.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

I think that's my biggest why I like looking tan is because I just look healthier and I know it ages your skin, but I think I look younger when I'm tan.

SPEAKER_03 48:52

Me too. I just look I feel better.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Yeah, I just feel better. And I I just feel young, youthful, and full of life and full of vitamin D, and I just love it so much. My friend, she's an as aesthetician, and she getting so mad at me when I'm suntanning. She's like, that is so bad for you. It's so bad for your skin. Like, girl, that's all you're for.

SPEAKER_04 49:15

You'll answer me later.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

You'll give me all the skin treatments I need later. Right now. But you know, I love when people have wrinkles and sunspots, and you just know they enjoy their life. Obviously, do it safely. I put sunscreen every single time, and I only tan for like an hour maybe. I don't do it for that long and I don't do it every day. But I I just it's not gonna bother me if at the end of my life I look like I was outside. Yeah. I love it. So that's what I'm so seriously serious about. I'm gonna go sit out on my next day off. I'm serious about that too.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Because I love being tan.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

I made I had carrot juice this morning. Me too.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

I had some too.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Yeah, I'm gonna tell the story.

unknown 49:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Um was making us breakfast and I was telling Sulliz, I was like, You want carrot juice? She's like, mm-mm. I'm like, it's gonna make you tan. She goes, Alright, I'll have a cup. Which it technically it tints, it like tints your skin, I guess, or it something.

SPEAKER_03 50:14

It tints everything. I'm about to have carrot juice every morning though, because I want to be tan. I want to be so tan.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

But I've also heard that about kale, like I think just food with a ton of what's the word? Pigment also helps you get pigment. That's kind of what I've heard, but who knows if it's right or if it's wrong.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

Well, that's good. I'm very serious about that too. And maybe I'll come join you. Imagine she's not inviting me. I'm like, I actually like to do it alone.

SPEAKER_02 50:42

I'm kidding. No, it was so fun. We went suntanning two weeks ago with our friend Haley. Mm-hmm. So fun. Yeah, we need to do that more often. I literally felt so good. I did not feel good that morning. We're laying out there. I'm like, guys, I'm literally am revived. I was I felt like a freaking eucalyptus. Sometimes you I did. I had like photosynthesis.

SPEAKER_03 51:03

Sometimes you sometimes you just need vitamin D. Yes. That's all. And that'll make you feel better. That's why I think the people that live in Newport Beach or by the beach are just so much happier because they have to be outside.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Like, how could you not be outside? I agree. Speaking of being sad and happy, when I was young, I I was kind of a sad kid, my mom said. And so my mom would like I know she would just go put a blanket outside and tell me to lay outside. So I'd lay on the floor like a starfish. And she'd be like, the sun, it's making you happy. That is so sweet. No, it is so sweet, and it helped. Like I eventually got blood work done and I was low on vitamin D. Yeah. So it made sense.

SPEAKER_03 51:45

You just told me. She knew what you're gonna do with my kids. That is so cute.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

Yeah, like my mom would be like, The sun, it's making you happy. And I'd be like, the sun is making me happy. And so now, like when I'm having a bad day, my mom will tell me, like, maybe you need to go sit out in the sun. If I'm really anxious or sad or whatever, she'll just go sit out in the sun. And I do. And it does make me feel better because that day I was feeling a little anxious. And I was like, like I said, a eucalyptus plant. Well, ladies, as always, at the end of the episode, we hope that you got to know us a little more, and we want to get to know you guys.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

So let us know what your guys' favorite love language is or what your least favorite is. But thank you guys so much for listening, and we just had so much fun with you guys, and we love you guys. Bye. Bye.