Seriously... Girls Are Forever

In this weeks episode Celeste & Nikky talk about their most cherished possessions; their friends. The girls discuss the green flags everyone should look for in a healthy friend and the friendships break ups they're still mourning years later. They unpack the growth that comes from both healthy and challenging friendships that has helped shaped them into the women that they are today. 

Transcript

unknown 0:12

Hey.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Hi.

unknown 0:14

How are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Always every time we start. I never know what to say. It's too much pressure on the hip. I feel, yeah, maybe. It's like it reminds me of when we first started. Slash would be like, I've been practicing, I've been practicing. I'm like, oh my gosh, tell me. And she goes, Are you ready? Like, yeah. She goes, hi.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

She goes, hi. You know what's funny?

SPEAKER_02 0:42

You have never said hi like that ever. Yeah. You're probably right. No, that was really funny. That's what it reminds me of. Every time we start, I put it does feel like a lot of pressure on the greeting. Yeah. I want to start off and be like, welcome back to Seriously Just Girls. I want that to be like the first thing that gets said. Oh, okay, okay, okay. You know? Do you want to say? Redo, redo. Alright, alright.

unknown 1:02

You go.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Welcome back to Seriously Just Girls. My name is Celeste. And my name's Nikki. And we can't wait to chat with you. Yay. Okay. I feel like that's cute. That is really cute. Let us know. Yeah, let us know. Do you guys like that? When we greet each other, we always say hi. Yeah. Duh. No, that's not true. That's not true. Because I have friends that we don't say hi, we just start the conversation. But I do like that we greet each other. It's just cute. Yeah, we always give each other hugs though. Yeah. Kiss on the cheek. We're touchy filly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that we're like that though. Me too. It's the It's a tradition in us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How's your weekend? Really good. Was it really good? What did I do? Oh, I worked a lot this week. Oh, you've been working so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

Thanks, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

It's what I want, not what you want.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

No, I worked at 12 on Saturday and I just came home, talked to my mom, knocked out. And today I went to a market in Dana Point with my friends, and it was like a it was like a small business, vendor, vintage-y kind of deal. It was huge. It was a couple it was a couple blocks along. Really? Is it just this weekend? Yeah, it was just today. Oh, I'm sure that they do more other things. Yeah, but it was like that was the big one today. I can't imagine that they wouldn't do something for summer. But I had a really, really good matcha. It was so good. It was called a sasha matcha. Strawberry. It was a strawberry matcha. Okay. So good. Speaking of matcha, I was put to work this weekend. You were? I'm saying they are my sister and my niece's business. And Gabby, usually it's Gabby and Vivi that go out there. Gabby had school or some some shit going on. I had to step up.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

I'm so proud of you. No, I think that is so cute that you went.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

I was in there with my pink apron and I was making I made like four different matches. And Vivi made a lot of coffees. And Vivi was telling you what to do. Yeah, she's telling you what to do. At one point, I think I was just really nervous. Like she has a brevel, okay? So she pulls out the brevel, and you know how it has the espresso. What's that thing called? The espresso. I know what you're talking about. It's where you plug it in, right? Yeah, you put the espresso shot. You have to turn it, ask it into plate, lock it in, and then it brews. So I was making a round shaking espresso, and I put the sugar, I put the cinnamon, or I put the sugar into the cup, and then I'll be telling her ingredients. It's okay. Everybody does this part. And I put the cup under, and then I just press the button. I don't I don't switch over. I don't switch the espresso thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Yeah, it's so it's just hot water.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

So it's just I it started making a noise, and I was like, Bibi, I was like, is this what it's supposed to be doing? Is something wrong? And she was like, God, you forgot to put the cup in there. She's like, there's no espresso to brew. I was like, uh, my bad. That's so funny. It's okay. It was like cleaning the machine. It's so funny though. No, yeah, I was dying. It was fine though. Okay, Barista, what else did you do this weekend? I just did a whole lot of self-care, I guess. Really? Yeah, I had a pretty chill weekend. I got my nails done on Thursday. They look really good. I'm like actually obsessed with them. No, I think they're so pretty. I did like a French tip with pinky. I think next time we'll go a little bit more pinky, but keep the French tip. Yes, I love a really, really pinky base. It just gives me like early 2000s. I don't know. I really love that. I really like what you have on your nails. Oh, number 27. I don't know why. Everyone has been complimenting this nail collar at work. And so I just kept have been saying, like, oh yeah, number 27, number 27. And they're like, number 27 on what? I'm like, I don't know, the DD, DG nail brand. Like.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

So funny of you.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

I know, but and what about it? I remember the name. That is so funny of you. Number 27. I don't remember the name, I don't remember the number. I either want to do that for Mexico City or keep these. But I think these are so classy that I might just do. I don't know what I'm doing for Mexico City. I kind of want to do like silver. Oh. I don't, dude. Silver is I have you ever heard of those shoes Oni Suku Tiger? Mmm no. Okay. I need a pair. I need a pair. Oh. Oni Suku Tiger Mezzico 66 in the silver colorway. Oh my gosh, I need them. I think I'm gonna get them for Mexico City.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

No, one thing about Nikki is she's gonna put in some work into those outfits for her trips. Oh, 1000%. I was actually feeling like I'm kinda lacking, like it's two weeks away, and I don't like I had a clue and then I just stopped thinking about my outfits and now I'm like, oh, I have to start. I wanna go thrifting actually for my outfits because I want to wear capris. Oh yes. But I'm not I'm not buying a hundred dollar capris. Like they're so trendy right now that these people are freaking putting their prices up, and I'm like, I'm not doing that. Yeah. But I need to do some thrifting.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

I'm kinda I wanna be a thrift girl, but I just don't know if I can. Like it just takes so much patience.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

It does take a lot of patience, and you know what I realize? I don't like to go thrifting with people. Okay.

unknown 6:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Because I'm like a I mean we could go because I think me and you shop well, where I don't feel rushed and you don't feel rushed, and we just do our own thing. But I used to romanticize it. I swear I put my AirPods in and listen to music and just go through every single thing. Yeah, because you literally have to go through every single thing. You have to go through every single item and like really item. Yeah, you have to really think about the item. And I think it takes critical thinking, I swear. Yeah, no, it's difficult. And then you really gotta piece it together with other outfits and see if it works. Yes I give you props because I just don't have the patience for that. And I have ADHD, so I'm like, I feel like I don't have the time for that right now. Right. But I need to because I have a vision. And the vision is halter tops with Cabriz. Yes, cute. That's what I'm saying. I love halter tops. I took my favorite little sh top to wear. I have a few. But they're like baby halter, like you wear like halter halter, and they look really cute, but I feel like I Oh really? Yours are like smaller, maybe? Like mine's aren't backless halter. Oh. You know? And I I need to get a few backless half. Yeah, you do. You're cute with your hair up. Yeah. I totally get what you're saying though, because I'm totally lacking on my outfits for Vegas. I'm going to Vegas this weekend. Not one outfit picked. Oh no. We'll see how we get that. A shop in Kaylee's closet. Yeah, maybe. I'm gonna have to shop in people's closets. Yeah, you have a lot of friends. Yeah. We'll figure it out. It's not a big deal. Reduce, reuse, and recycle, baby. So this week we want to talk about specifically female friendships because we are females. Just navigating female friendships and how fun it can be to be a part of a group, but also how challenging it is to balance friendships and go through different life scenarios and experiences and stages and phases and how difficult that can be outgrowing. And I also feel like you know, in regular relationships, they always say you have to continue to choose your partner. I feel like it's like that with friendships too. You have to continue to choose your friends because they're gonna piss you off sometimes. That's just the truth. It's hard to talk to someone every day if that's the type of friendships that you have, and not get annoyed with each other sometimes or emotional or sensitive or whatever. So that's what we want to talk about this week. And we'd love to know your guys' input on this. Because I just think it's so fun to talk about. It is. We're gonna jump right in. Have you ever experienced a friendship breakup? Yeah. Yeah. I remember when I was nine. No, I was probably like 20, 21. This girl that I was really, really, really good friends with broke up with me. She was like, I don't agree with your life choices. Mind you, I was moving in with my boyfriend in Oregon. And she was like, I just I think you're dumb for this. I can't be your friend. And I was like, But she didn't communicate it like that. Yeah, so you took a little bit different. Had she would maybe, I would have respected a lot more, but she like totally went at a weird angle, very like toxic, protective. But now that it now that it's been a few years, I'm like, you really could have just said that. Maybe things would have been different. But anyways, yeah, I did go through a breakup with her, and it was like weird because it was very like just cutting each other off, not following each other, she stopped sharing locations, did not talk at all. So it's like a little weird. I wasn't that sad, but it was like a breakup. Have you? Yeah, I feel like I've been through a couple, and they always make me really sad. One one that really, really, really, really made me sad was my friend that I was really, really close to. She was like a like a younger sister to me. She was like three years younger than me. Three or four, maybe three. I don't know. Actually, maybe even actually she was five years younger than me. Wow. Yeah, but she was super mature. We honestly just had a great time together. And this makes a lot of sense that she's five years younger. Really? No, but I honestly I like I thought she was really mature, and I like I loved her. Like I really saw her as like my little sister, and we had a different dynamic. And so this friendship kind of just we started off as really good friends, and then it spiraled because we made different connections. She met people. Yeah, yeah, so we were really good friends, and then eventually somehow both of our lives and just relationships. Your personal lives, personal lives got really intertwined, and I think that that led to a lot of miscommunication, just like weird, like a weird friendship, honestly. It's just a comparison game. Yeah, I honestly I never felt that way. Like when I tell you, I literally had so much love for this girl, like I had so much love for her. Still to this day, I have so much love for her, and I wish that we could be friends the way that we were, but I think because of where I'm at in life and where she's at in life, that's never gonna happen, which is it really sucks coming to that understanding. But yeah, she was she was someone that I really loved, and it still makes me sad. Like to this day, I'm like, damn, that was a good friendship, but things like don't always work out the way they need to, or sometimes not even like bad situations, but kinda yeah, like bad situations just kind of show you that like maybe you guys aren't supposed to be in each other's life forever, and it's just like just for phases of life. I don't know, it was weird, but that was probably the one that has hurt me the most like the most like gut crushing. Like still you still think about it, it almost feels worse than a breakup. I mean, not even like that, because you guys know I'd be going through it when my heart gets broken breakup, but right, but interesting. Yeah. Other than that though, I feel like I've had like childhood outgrowings where we're just not as close as we used to be. Like I had a really good friend. It's bittersweet, but it makes sense. Yeah, bittersweet. Exactly. So I like fell out of this friendship with a girl that I've been friends with since like childhood, like elementary school. And I feel like we were just on different paths. Like she was very lust to party, and you know, I love to party too, but it was just successful at that. Yeah, like I just you you know, you like realize that you're just not using paths in common. Yes, nothing in common. I think that's when it sucks the most. It's like, what do we even talk about? What do we talk about? Like, we don't even relate to each other anymore. Yeah, we're so different now. But it's not even thinking the same, where it's like different opinions. Like, we really are not the same. Yeah, like we do not have the same morals, we do not have the same thinking patterns or decision making. Like, it's just too different where you're at the point where you're like, dude, like I just feel like I'm criticizing you all the time, and I don't want to do that. Exactly. Or I feel like you're criticizing me and I don't want you to do that. So yeah, like I feel like even at that point, I was like at a point where no, I I was in a relationship, so obviously I didn't really go out, and like I was she was the opposite, she was single, so she was going out, and it was just like we just not even just in that aspect, but just so much in life, like that was so different. Not aligned, yeah. Not aligned. Yeah, those are hard because it's like sad because you're sad for the younger version of you, but it just makes sense that you're not friends anymore. I have I have had friends like that too. Yeah, but I don't know. I used to think that I was a red flag because I didn't have a lot of female friends like growing up. I just I just I love that you're like I used to think I was a red flag. Yeah, I know I'm not. I'm like, don't worry, I corrected that thinking really good way. Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm like, I'm not a red flag. I'm like, nothing's wrong with me. That's a red flag. But no, I just didn't really connect with a lot of females friendshipy things when I was in high school, middle school. Like I had girlfriends, but not the way that I have girlfriends now, and I didn't cherish the girlhood like I do now. Me and Celeste are in a friend group situation. Wonderful. I love it so much. Our group chat makes me I laugh at it because it really feels like a council meeting. Like, it is so much fun. I'm like, okay, we're voting today. Do we like my outfit? Yay or nay. We're voting today. Is Celeste's date cute or not? Literally, it is so much fun. I I love it so much. And it's so nice to know. No, it's so funny because I feel like I used to keep a lot of my emotions in, but a lot has happened in the last six months, and maybe it's not a good thing, but I feel so much more comfortable now. Like if I say something and they don't respond in two seconds, I'm like so you can hate this of me. No, she literally said that this last weekend. No, but you fucking hate me. No, I didn't say that. I said, I said, so you guys are tired of hearing me say the same thing. That's right. We're just crazy. Neither of you are talking about the same thing. Never. So babe I was busy.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

I'm pretty sure that were you ready.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Oh you were you were on Instagram. No, I said it because I sent a bunch of stuff. No response. Angular Celeste sent you a DM. I was like, uh, I'm pretty sure I was driving home from work. That's worse. I'm pretty sure on my drive home from work, you could have sent his voice. No, you're so random. You're so and I said, I'm sorry, babe, really, I love hearing you talk. I just had a bad, I didn't have a bad day at work, but I was like driving home this morning. Exhausted, yeah. And so my brain was exhausted. I literally I didn't listen to anything. I listened to our podcast because I was like, this will make me feel better. Yeah, like the last 10 minutes of the drive, and I was like, this will this will help me feel this will make me feel better. So you're getting mixed up because this was in the morning because Hayley was getting to work. No, yeah, she was getting to where she goes, so I was just pulling into my school parking lot. Oh it's okay. You were having a bad day. I wasn't sure you were, yeah. You were like not in it that day. I was having a bad day. But it was so funny, and then they gave me their beans, and I was like, okay, not too much now.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

Quit it.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

I was like it's getting a little real. But it's so funny. I love it. Like, it really has helped me a lot grow into myself and be more self-aware, more self-accountable. But it has just brought so much like laughter in my life, so everything else is okay. But that's one of my favorite parts.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Being in the friend group, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

I think also I know we always talk about this, and obviously we're like really emphasizing on it, focusing on it right now. But I I am so thankful for my friendships. Like, yeah, me too. I just love I know I would love my life. I don't know. I don't know if I would love my life as much if I'm just didn't have you guys. What would I do in my free day? Yeah. Like my friends, I my co-workers, it's so weird because they're so like HR, right? With the freaking ants the questions that they answer me. Like one manager one day was like, So what do you do in your free time, you know, when you're not working? They're like, girl, what do you think? Yeah, I'm like, what do you do? And then I feel like I have to come up with a really cool answer, you know. I'm like, uh, well, I have friends, like I hang out with them, I talk to them, I have a dog, I got a man. They call me the personality hire this weekend, and I was like, Oh, that is a huge compliment. Thank you. I think that is a huge compliment. Yeah, this girl was like, You are such a personality hire, like, you literally make my day better here. Yeah, that is the sweetest thing. I'm telling you, you have that, you irradiate that. Tell my manager that, thank you. Tell him tell them to give me a raise. Yeah, like just for making everybody's everybody's day better.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

No, like that really made me blush.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

No, I always tell you that though, like, I feel like you're just like so bubbly. Oh my gosh, really? That is like not a word that I would use to describe myself. I think it definitely takes some getting used to. Like, you definitely only do it with people that you like fuck with, but yeah, you are very bubbly. I feel like I feel like actually off the bat, I feel like I'm very bubbly, and then as time goes by, we're like I get less bubbly. Yeah, I feel like I I just get bored easily. So then I'm like, alright, I don't want to talk to y'all no more. So funny. Back to friendships that dwindle and whatnot. Have you ever reconnected with a friend after some time apart? Mm-hmm. I have too. I actually reconnected with the friend that we don't have much in common.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

We reconnected, we fell off pretty bad. Me and her fell off around my quince, actually. Because she like am I gonna say this? Do you remember her? Do you remember that? Did I tell you about tell you about this? That she like left with one of my chambellanis and left my party early.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

And never told you about this?

SPEAKER_00 19:49

So this is why you get so mad when people leave your parties early. Yeah, it makes so much sense. Oh my gosh, guys. You know what? I never even put that. Chewed me out.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

I never chewed me out one time at a Halloween party because I was trying to be a good friend. Two of my friends go to both their Halloween parties, and she got so mad at me. I was like, girl, what? I never even put that, put two and two together. No, that makes a lot of sense, Celez. That makes a lot of sense because you get buttered in people think they're so. I really do get buttered. Yeah, she left my party and she left with me. She took my two guys. The trauma. She took my two my two best friends and went to the beach, and I was like, oh and I I think I don't even know how I found out. They didn't tell me until like maybe a week or two later. Like, I don't remember. I was 15.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Why did they leave?

SPEAKER_02 20:38

They just wanted to go to the freaking beach. No, what did they tell you why would they were leaving? I don't remember. They just said, okay, we have to go. Bye. I literally couldn't tell you that was early to you. Because early to me is different than what's early to you. No, I'm pretty sure it was early to you. Unless I'm tired. I had every right to feel this way because I remember my sister being pissed too. So if Roseanne was pissed, then like I don't think I was I was invalid. And and it was my ginse, so like these people were in my party. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. It's like a bridal party. Yeah, like they were supposed to come back on the bus with us and they did not. You go to party bus? Yeah. I had a party bus, I had a limo. My uncle provided. My uncle has a limousine company, and so my you told me you broke down. No, no, no, that was Gabby's. That was Gabby's. Providing everything was good. No, yeah. Gabby. Honestly, have we ever gone through my this is so off topic, whatever, I'll tell you about it later. But no, you gotta show me all that stuff later. Yeah, because my uncle, yeah, we'll get whatever happened. But yeah, and so that's what happened. And that makes a lot of sense now, too. But did you guys stop being friends for? Probably like a year. Okay. Maybe two years even? I don't remember. She's she was the one who texted me. She had a traumatic experience, and she just wanted to reach out, tell me that she's sorry, and that she really missed me, blah blah blah. And we got close for a little bit after that, because I was like, okay. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know, miss you two. And we were pretty close for a little while and then eventually we just fell out again because we didn't really have much to do. We were just on different paths. But yeah. Yeah, other than that, I don't think of a friendship that I don't think I've ever reconnected with somebody after. I have. Really? Yeah, and it's it's weird reconnecting with people and they'd be like, oh, this is why like we're not friends anymore. You know? Like you it's not that there's beef or that you have a problem with them or that something is wrong. It's just, oh okay, we ain't got nothing in common. But then it's also nice to find common ground again with friends that you disconnected with and just been like, you know, maybe that we don't have a lot in common, but we appreciate the same things. Yes kind of, you know, or the same type of things. And so that was really nice. I just reconnected with a friend. We started talking for three or four years. That's a long time. Three or four years of inconsistency, but probably a year and a half of absolutely no talking. Still follow each other, but not texting or calling each other. And it's been really nice. It's been slow, but it's been nice. Because I think it did hurt her that I was absent in her life. Because I'm not perfect either. I my mom is the first person who brought this to my attention, but back in middle school, when a girl and me would stop being friends, even a guy, but it was mainly girls with stopping friends, it's like they didn't exist to me. I remember there was this girl, we'll call her Becky. And Becky was dating my friend. And when they would break up, she wouldn't talk to me. And now that I'm older and I don't take it as personal, I'm like, okay, that makes sense. Maybe it hurt her to talk to me. But at the time I was like, You're only friends with me to be friends with this guy. Because me and him were really, really, really close. So finally I told Becky, if you guys break up again and you don't keep talking to me, we're not gonna be friends. What did she do? They broke up and then she stopped talking to me. But my mom was like everyone's mom, and one time she had to help take her home. Literally, didn't look at her, didn't speak to her, didn't even acknowledge that she was in the car with me. I was so mean. And my mom was like, Nicole, that's really not nice, you know. Nicole, yeah, like she her government name. She goes, Michelle, that's not nice. You shouldn't do that to people. And I'm like, why not? My reasoning then and now still stands. It's not that I'm mean or that I hate you, it's that I don't care about you. That I just have no it's worse, you know, when I don't hate you because I'm just indifferent. I'm like, I don't care if you live or die, girl. You do you boo? No, seriously, it is so bad. But it takes a lot for people to get there. Okay, it doesn't happen in my life. Valid, valid. But that's how I am, and that's how I've been with my exes too. Once I'm there, I'm like, okay, I don't care about you. I'm over it, whatever. So I actually never reconnected with that friend. I hope you're doing good, Becky. Becky.

unknown 25:17

Becky.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

And you know what's funny? That girl, that guy, maybe he's a common denominator. Jed, if you're listening to this. Are you the common denominator? Because another that other girl, the first girl that I told you about that we broke up, she broke up with me. Also was dating him six years later. Oh my gosh! He is someone that I also reconnected with, but we have actually stayed friends and really good friends, and now we have adult friendships, and his partner is cool with me. Yeah, and he's cool with my partner and stuff like that. Nice. But we're talking about female stuff. Yeah, you might be the problem. He listens to this. So funny because he'll slide up, he's like, You put the music too loud at minute 42. I'm so dead. Does he really? Yes, or he'll be like, You need to speak clearer. Well, hey Jed, can you start texting me too? Because I need I would love constructive criticism. Yeah, just slide up on our story. Yeah, let us know, please. That's actually so sweet of you. Yeah, he works nights. So he says, like, when he does rounds, he'll listen. Yeah, he'll just listen to He has a cool job. Yeah. He's really funny. Yeah, he loves his job. Yeah, he is really funny when I met him. He had me rolling a little bit. Me too, girl. I what do you think are some green flags in a friendship? A big thing for me has been when they just make your life when they just improve your quality of life. Honestly, like you guys really improve my quality of life when you hang out and you leave feeling better than when you got there. I was having a really hard day a couple weeks ago. Me and my Matt were beefing. Really? It's the truth. We're honest on here. We're good now, but I struggle. I struggle a lot with communicating anything about my relationship, good and bad. Like, I really struggle with it. I don't like to talk about it. So I was anyways, I was trying to cancel on our plans. I was like, guys, like I'm not feeling good today. Like, I'm just I'm not fun to be around with right now. And I didn't think that I was. They're like, no, who cares? Like, just show up. Like, you don't have to be your best funniest self. Like, just show up. I was like, no, I don't know, I'll let you guys know. And then I was like, no, I should go. They're literally telling me and communicating and reassuring me, I'm not gonna cancel, I'm not gonna not show up. So I showed up anyways. It ended up being like the best day of my life. You guys will find out too. But it ended up being like a really, really, really good time. And I remember leaving and being like, Thank you, God. Like, I'm so happy that I came and I'm so happy that you have put these people in my life. I think that's a green point. That is a really, really I'm like speechless. No, yeah, we were in the group chat and we were like, Nikki, no, seriously, shut up. Please just come. Like, we missed you, we haven't seen you, please just come. And she's no no. I was like, bitch, you want me to beg? Like, no, I need you here. I mean really similar in this way. When we're not feeling good in the heart, it like affects our whole body. Like, we literally feel sick. Yeah, and that's how I was. Like, I was like, no, guys, like maybe I'm getting sick. Like, I don't know, I'm just not feeling good. Yeah, you didn't say, just lay down. It's not even Celeste's house. And she's like, you could just come lay down. Like, it's okay, we'll take care of you. Haley's probably like, um, so I don't want to get sick. Nah, Haley does not care. She doesn't. I love her. She works with kids. The opposite of what I am. Opposite of the both of us. Yeah, because me and Celeste are germophobes. I think I take a clinical step. I always say though, there are certain people that I'm not germophobes with, and it's you and Haley that I'm not. I just don't care. My sister, I don't care, and the the kids my sister I don't care, but because she has kids, I'm really mindful of that.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Because she doesn't care with her kids. Be no no no because their germs or what?

SPEAKER_01 28:58

No, because I want to get them sick. Yeah, like in the case that there's anything ever wrong with me, I don't know. You never know. You literally never know. That's why I'm super careful when it comes to my sister and the kids, and I don't share stuff with my sister anymore.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

Real.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

But not that I don't care about you guys.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

I'm like, that's so funny. I don't have exceptions with anyone.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Um, you've definitely shared with me before though.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

I have it very, very, very rare. It's not consistent. Don't get your hopes. Haley's my one friend that she don't give a fuck. And for some reason I feel safe with her. For some weird reason I feel very safe with her. Speaking of safe, I think you also need to feel safe being able to communicate how you feel. That one's really hard for me because I think I'm just not a good communicator. Once I start communicating, I'm good. But for me to take that step, yeah, and get there.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

Oh my gosh, I delayed, delay, delay.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

We have talked about this a little bit. When me and you had beef in the winter, and you're like, no, talk to me, tell me what you need. And I was like, No one has ever asked me that before. And I I know that now with my other friendships too. Like my long distance friendships, like we were talking about in our long distance relationships, like you really don't beef, you really don't have that many problems like you would with people that are in your closer proximity with because they're so far. Like, you're not gonna focus on the negative, you're gonna live in this fairy tale, which I don't think me and my friends are. We've gone through like real stuff together, but I do have two friends in Oregon that I'm really, really, really good friends with. And same thing, like I know that if something is really going on in my life, I can go to them. Yeah, and they're gonna be there for me, no questions asked, and that's how I feel about my friends right now. Those are some some pretty green flags that I would recommend everyone to look for.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Yeah. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, okay? Oh, because it doesn't work for everybody.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

But I do think that if the girl has sisters, they're just like automatically green flag. Green flag because they if you don't have sisters, I feel like you're really good at it.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

You're you're not you're an exception to this.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

But I know girls that don't have sisters and they just they just don't know how to be a good friend, they don't know how to be a a nice person. You know growing up, I was mean. And I was cutting these girls off, and I had no compassion, I had no grace. Well, it's not that I didn't have compassion, I didn't have a grace for people, I didn't have patience and I didn't have forgiveness for people. And maybe that's because I didn't have a sister, I didn't have someone that I was arguing with and then making up with.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Yeah, because my sister and I, we definitely fight a lot. We're actually beefing right now. I'm like nodding my head. I'm like, hey, I really, really miss you if you're listening to this.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

She's not mad.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

But I really, really miss you.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

She will eventually though.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

No, and you know, really quickly while we're on the topic, like when I fight with my sister, even when I fight with my friends, when I fight with my friends and my sister, oh my god, I feel it so heavy.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Like I feel anxious.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Oh my gosh, I cannot.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

I have been anxious all weekend because I've been I've been fighting with her and like I I think it's a different kind of anxious than how it is with you and like Hayley.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

It's a different guilt.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

It's a different Yeah, and I just oh it just Especially because you're in the wrong? Especially because I'm in the wrong. Right, right, right. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it because I don't like being wrong, but my sister and I just I just feel it.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Oh so I've just been trying to give her space, but I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

But I'm showing up to her house.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

I'm gonna knock though.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Space is over. You're gonna knock. Yeah, good idea.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

You better knock, bro. Because I just walk I'd just be walking in that in that hoe, but not anymore. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Start using the doorbell. Start I'm gonna start telling her I'm on my way.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Yeah, you need a heads up.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Anyway, I really do miss you, sister. Lise, if you miss me at all, call me.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

I think you have to make sure that whoever you're friends with or whoever you're investing your time in is also investing their time in you as well. And I think it's so unfortunate, and obviously it's not always gonna be balanced, like sometimes friendships, it's not always 50-50, it's 60-40, 80-20, like just depending on what is going on in your life, yeah. That's why communicating is so important. But I think make sure that you're friends with someone that you're not always the one reaching out, you're not always the one making plans, not always the one that is sacrificing or going the distance for this friend. Like they are matching that energy as well. I think that's really, really important. When I was in Oregon and I ended my very serious relationship, my friend Meredith like really took me by surprise because this girl is not an affectionate or like carinosa person. I love her, but she's not. But dude, like I could not eat from the stress of it that she would like always take me at my favorite food, take me flowers, like just like really did a lot of like gestures that were really, really, really nice. And I'm not saying she never went or anything that I couldn't show up for her like that, but I just don't feel like I matched that at the time. And so now that we're like the distance, I'm like, girl, what do you need? Like, yeah, let me help you out, or I mean I we don't spend birthdays or Christmases together. But sorry. I make sure she's able to come see me in California. She's coming this summer. Oh she is? Yeah, but it is really it's really nice. I'm like when in July. I do want to do something. I want to do like a bonfire. I think that'd be fun.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Okay. I'm just thinking because I'm like, damn, like I see Nikki a lot, so I'm like, damn, somebody's gonna have her for a week.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Like I gotta make plans with my other friends. No, I no, I really love that we obviously we love to do this podcast, but it's so funny because it's nice to have an excuse to always see each other every week no matter what. But we're also getting to that point where we're like, okay, we wanna hang out and like not have a microphone in between us, you know. Like I just want to sit down and talk to you and have a meal. And I feel like that's why I'm like, oh, why have I been working so much? Because it's just so much fun to just be with each other, film, edit, have three meals together. I know. Yeah, okay, we need to do that again. Yeah, we need to do it again. We just I just have a couple trips going up, but it's so funny. Yeah. Because going back to this, like matching the energy is like Celeste will be like, Okay, when are you leaving? When are you coming back? Let's find what we're gonna see each other this week. Let's make sure that we get our time in. And just I love it so much.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

I just love my friends. I on that note, like you how Meredith was there for you. Like, I don't think I would have been able to get through my breakup this last time if I wouldn't have had you guys. And I think I think you because I think this breakup was a lot different than any other breakup I've ever experienced. It was with the same guy, like I've only ever had breakups with this guy. But I think like me and you becoming friends when we did was really God's plan because we were really like really close.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

I think Nikki and I were like very much on the same wave, and so I just was r I just was really close to you. Like I would just want to talk to Nikki. Yeah, we both had a lot of time. We had a lot we were very available to each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah, we were available to each other.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

Very deep, deep people. Like we just feel things so deeply, and I'm like, girl, I get it. Yeah, I get it that you feel it in your bones. I understand.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

But I just could not have been able to do without my friends, and I think it's so important to have the girls that you do and appreciate them. I think like at a time you just don't take it for granted. Yeah, don't take it for granted.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

Like, I think even in the past, and I try to tell I try to tell my nieces a lot of this because I want them to like really learn from my mistakes and know how important it is to have a girl group, but don't forget about your girls.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Like, I think it's a guy over here. Yeah, that is a huge red flag. Huge red flag.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Don't set false expectations. Be very consistent with your friendships, and yeah, don't take it for granted. And don't let that stuff change. Like, of course, when you meet a guy that's like worth it, okay, like balance, you know, figure that out, time manage, do what you have to do.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

I remember at the time when I was first dating this guy, I would choose my friends over him, and he would get so buffer, and I'd be like, dude, like these are my friends.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

Yeah, because you always want to see us, but it's like you also want to see him, but it's like it's hard. Yeah, he's not available all the time. And then I work and I'm just like it's just really hard.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

Yeah, but I it I tell the I tell the girls, I'm like, you guys need to like really appreciate your girlfriends, and like when when the guy, because the guy, unfortunately, I hope not. I hope my nieces never get their heart broken, but a guy will always leave.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

He has two feet and they run, so I'm like the wind. Like the wind. So you just gotta pick your friends. Like, I know it's so hard.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Like, I feel like I've been in that situation too where I'm like, well, this guy's been good to me and whatever, and I really want to make this work, and you know, sometimes I gotta pick him.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

But girlhood is a forever. Yeah, and maybe that's really toxic of me. It's not forever, like you know, we're sitting here and we're talking about friends that we have had and and no longer have, but it they serve their purpose. And I'm not saying men never serve their purpose. Maybe I am, but it's important to be a good friend because you will attract good friendships. Because just the same way I deserve good friends, I think everyone deserves good friends. But it takes a lot of effort. That is really good though.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

You attract, like you need to attract good friends.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Yeah, it's like you have to be a good partner to attract a good partner. You have to be a good friend to attract good friends. Like you can't be bad and then be like, no, I deserve this and that. No, it doesn't work like that.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

Do you have any friends or have had any friends that you feel like you've been in a serious competition with, or you feel like they feel you're in competition with, or you just can't have something.

SPEAKER_02 39:24

I personally have never felt like that. I think when I was younger, my mom would kind of comment and think that. But nothing it never really came to light. So no. Yeah. But I know people who have friends like that. And I think that's crazy. Gotta continue to keep that far away from me. Because but I also just don't feel like I'm very quick to be like, oh, you like my shirt, here you go. Oh, but I think it's because I just didn't have sisters. You like this? Oh, you can have it, you know, you can borrow it. I don't ever feel territorial about stuff like that. Or if we post similar things or like similar. I don't know. For me, it's just another level to bond over. But maybe it's because I've only felt like that with really good people.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

You know. But I have you?

SPEAKER_01 40:13

Yeah, I feel like I definitely have.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

And I feel like uh Izzy, bleep.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

Bleep. Yeah, she was probably the one person. It sucks because I really had a lot of love for her, but I definitely I feel like she thought I was in competition with her, and we it really didn't need to be like that.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

She was competing with herself. She was mad about it. Girl, we could all I don't know. It was it was hard because I feel like roles reverse, I would probably maybe feel the same way. Like maybe. No, you don't have that heart. Oh no, thank you. But yeah, I just it was not compete, like just make each other better. Yeah. I want my friends to be at their best, look their best, feel their best, do their best. Like it was like if I can help with that, I'm gonna help with that. Exactly. That's exactly how I felt.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

I wanted to look I wanted to look out for this person, so like when it came to talking good about her, I would talk good about her, and I would find things out about her talking bad about me, and I'd be like, hmm. Interesting. Or sometimes I would find out that she would tell people, certain people, things I said, and I'd be like, Well, I didn't say it like that, or just things like conniving. Yeah, a little bit, and it was it was unfortunate, but I I think that's my only friendship that I've ever felt that way with somebody at like some sort of competition or anything like that.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

I don't think I've ever had any other friends that yeah, no, I've never felt like that, and I really hate that. Like, whenever my friends have friends like that, I'm gonna call it out every single time. Yeah, I'm mad about it every single time. We said this in the intro about how we went wedding dress shopping with Haley, and it was such a privilege, and it just felt like such an honor to be a part of something like that. Well, I'm gonna be her bridesmaid. So Celeste, hey, turn up. I'm so excited. But it feels like in relation to this, sometimes when someone works really, really hard, like my dad, like my mom would be like, you know what, but we're enjoying the fruits of the labor, and that's how it feels with this friendship. It feels like a gift of the years of hard work of being a good friend and living that life with her while she was like I said, not all friends are 50-50, 60-40. Like sometimes you have to put a little bit more effort, and while she was in grad school, just I don't know. Sometimes me and Haley, she could be so busy that I'm like, Hey, are we still friends? You know, are you thinking about me? I feel a lot more confident in our friendship, but for a while there I'd be like, I hope she loves me like I love her, you know? And it just felt, oh my gosh, you do love me? Yeah, like I love you. And I and again, I think it's really hard because some people are really just so busy. Yeah, she's such a big one. She's so busy, but she's still she's a good friend, yeah. She is such a good friend. Now that I have seen her in her big girl job and like just have more freedom and liberty to be the friend that she wants to be. That girl is a good friend. Yeah, she's a really good friend. I love her. So can't wait to support my bride. And see, guys, like when you have those kind of relationships, you could all be bridesmaids. I think that's so sweet. I almost grieve how our dynamic might change one day. Because right now, yeah, hey Lou's getting married. I'm in a relationship, you're gonna be in a relationship, I'm gonna be in Yeah, you are. I don't I'm not saying about this person that you're entertaining, I'm just saying relationships, yes, will take us away from their friendship, but I don't know, sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, when we have kids and career It's kinda hard to get three girls in one room. Yeah. It is not easy sometimes. And so I kinda agree. I just want to cherish the dynamic that we have for as long as possible because it's not always gonna be like that. I agree. No, but I one thing about me is I am never losing sight of my friends.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

We need to be friends for life. I don't know. I will figure out how to get you I don't know. I don't know what I would do. But there is no way that I'm not seeing my friends once a week. I know sometimes we get busy here and there, like we can't do each we can't see each other every week, but that's not something I'm like willing to compromise unless I live super far. But I don't plan on moving super far from my friends and my family.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

My partner doesn't have an understanding that absolutely that these are our experiences, so of course I I refer back to Haley a lot because that is, I feel like, our closest friend, you know. But for example, Haley, we literally go over and Robert is just we just make Robert one of the girls. He is considered one of the girls. Yeah, yes. Let's Haley entertain her friends in their home. Like he's okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

We usually he joins us for the meal and then he's like, Alright, bye.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

And we're like, where'd he go?

SPEAKER_01 44:55

But that's exactly what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Like, because he supports her having time.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

Yes, and you need to find those people that support you and support your friendships and support you want to be happy.

SPEAKER_02 45:04

100%.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

Oh, life is good. I just be thinking about it, and I'm like, ugh. Life is good when you have friends. But you gotta be a good person to have friends.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

You can't put bad and expect good.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Yeah. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

Big, big, big thing for me personally. First, I think I have friends that understand my mental health and have a lot of compassion for my mental health because I'm a very anxious girl. I have a lot of things that I feel like I am working through, and well, everyone does. Everyone has something that they're going through, working through, whatever. My friends are very, very, very all of them, very understanding of it, I think, and very open-minded. Why are you laughing? What are you laughing about? I love that you appreciate that because yeah, I feel like we're like No, it's important because I have had friends that don't understand it. One really big thing, I you guys didn't really experience it that much, but my friends who really experience my OCD tendencies, which only get bad when my anxiety is really bad. But one thing about me, my OCD is crazy when it comes to my driving. Really? I said to get off here. I'm like, I can't. My family will die. I'm late to something because I'm like, no, you don't understand. I had to get off on this exit.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

My OCD told me to. No, it's so crazy. That happened to me a lot in Oregon because I was under a lot of stress over there. So I'd just be late all the time.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

But I would leave really early. That's really funny. Or I have my friend Sam. She's an orange. So anytime something's wrong with me, I'm like, Sam, are you awake? What do you think about this? Do you think that I have tachycardic?

unknown 46:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Yeah, she's like, you're gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

You're fine. And going hand in hand with that though, is I have some dietary restrictions. I can't eat gluten. And my friends are very considerate about that. They didn't really know what it was for a woman. No, the amount of times that I'd be like, wait, is that gluten? Nikki can't have that. No, we'd be ordering latte. She goes, Milk is okay, right? That's not gluten.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

I don't know why I was so confused. Gluten is gluten. Dude, like I would Google that shit and be like, okay, I think I got it. And then we would go out and I'd be like, wait, is that gluten? Is it bread? Pasta.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

No, no, no, but it'd be like other things.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

Like random ass shit that I'd be like, so is this gluten like? So this is fish. Peanut butter. I'd be like, so is this gluten? Does it have gluten? I just could not I could not understand the concept of gluten. And then I thought what would confuse me was the gluten free. Gluten. Like I just, I really am a dit. Free from gluten products. I really am ditzy. I will be honest. So can you have it or not? It's okay, girl. At least you were asking me no and then every time we pick somewhere to eat, they're like, did you look at the menu? Are you sure it's okay? Or they'll call. Haley will be like, hey, you're got gluten. See it. Like, y'all like that. There's been multiple times where she's just, no, no, no, wait, let me call. Let me make sure. Like, okay, girl, thank you. No, because if not, you're not gonna eat. And so, like, that's fucking awkward. And then I'm miserable and saying, Exactly. And you know, some people are very like, no, no, no, it's okay, don't worry about me. Then I'm not like that. There better be upset. Because you gotta eat. You gotta eat, baby. And my mom makes me like that too. My mom, especially right now. I'm like, mom, I just feel bad because I can't eat this. So if they love you, they'll want you to be bad. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Like when I go hang out with my man's family, which they are especially his mom. She was she'll be like, I found some gluten-free snacks and I stock some. How sweet. It is really, really sweet. And I'm like, Thank you so much, girl. Yeah, that is really sweet. That really means a lot to me.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

Okay, cool. I love that you think that that's a green flag. Like, genuinely. I think for me, my green flag 100% is when my friends get really involved with my family.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

That is my green flag. I love when you guys I feel like very instantly too, like you guys just do really well. I'll talking to my nieces, talking to my mom, my dad.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

You're definitely so cool.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

My sister, yeah. Oh, thank you. Yeah. And I just I love that. I love when my friends, I think that's a huge green flag for me, or like when everybody's like talking to the babies and Christian and Ellie, like you know, the younger ones. I think that is really, really sweet. Huh. I did I did disconnect with somebody recently.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

Like maybe two, three years ago, because of an ex-boyfriend, I stopped being this person's friend and it was my fault. I take complete accountability, like it's my fault. And we reconnected, I forgot about that. Yeah, you know. And yeah, we've been cool.

SPEAKER_02 50:03

I love that I know. I love when I know my friends.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:08

I really, really love that. And I love when they know me. Like when they say something or they consider something, I'm like, mm-hmm.

unknown 50:14

You remember that?

SPEAKER_01 50:15

Yeah, I just thought about it because that friend specifically was very, very in tune with my nieces. Like my younger, my well, back then they were like five, so like my younger nieces.

SPEAKER_02 50:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

She was really in tune with them and had create like she had really good connections with them. So but that's what I thought about her.

SPEAKER_02 50:31

I love that. That's very sweet. Alright, well, what are you so seriously serious about? I'm asking you first because I don't know what I'm serious about. Okay. What are you so seriously serious about? Okay, this feature pisses me off so freaking bad on iPhone when you screenshot.

SPEAKER_01 50:50

That too, but there's a way to turn that off. I just haven't done it. But no, when I go to a conversation because there's a picture in there that I know we sent in the group chat and it's not there. What the I literally pay for the two gigabytes. What do you mean I don't have storage?

SPEAKER_02 51:04

Like it should everything should be like it's in iCloud. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, It's stupid. What am I paying? iPhone, you are almost how much is my freaking phone? Almost two grand. Because of the storage that you bought on it? Yeah, this is how I turn that off.

SPEAKER_01 51:25

This is like $512, I think. I don't know what it is actually, but regardless, $200, even if it's $200.

SPEAKER_02 51:33

You'd be surprised what you can turn on and off on settings. Maybe I just need to look into that. That pisses me off so bad.

SPEAKER_01 51:39

Like I know I know that if I go to the links because I know that we say each other something, it should be in the links, but it's not. And then I'll go in the messages because I'm like, okay, well, this is a couple weeks ago. Let me just scroll. And I'll find it. And I'm like, okay, so I wasn't tripping. It is in here, and it's just not in the what you call it. So that just really pisses me off, and I wish Apple would have fixed that.

SPEAKER_02 51:56

Yeah. I am seriously serious about that too. My favorite reconnection. I had this friend when I was in fourth grade. And it was so funny because this friend would get in trouble, so they wouldn't be able to go to Reese's. And so Reesus? Yeah. Recess. Recess. Okay, grammar police. Crazy coming from you. Anyways, this friend who wasn't my friend at the time, they would get into trouble, and so they would have to go sit in my classroom because they were a grade above me. Wait, he's a year older than you? Sorry. Okay. Keep going.

unknown 52:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

And they would kick my feet and pull my my pigtails. Are you? And just like bug me. And we became best friends after that. Oh, really? And then we stopped talking. And now he's my boyfriend.

SPEAKER_00 52:55

He's my favorite reconnection.

SPEAKER_02 52:57

Love you, boo. But it's so funny, that's how we met. He would get into trouble. He was like a little gremlin, which is so funny considering like what he does now. But he was a little gremlin. He's a bad kid. He was a bad little kid. Why are you pulling on my friend's pigtails, dude? He was a bad little friend. He would go on the tips of my hair. That is definition of um he'll be mean to you if he likes you. No, seriously, childish. Come on. My mom would be like, he likes you, he likes you. I'm like, no, he doesn't. I don't think. He's so mean to me. He was actually my first hug with a bow. Oh. Yeah. It was Valentine's Day. And he brought me a bear. I don't know why we exchanged like stuffed animals. We're like best friends. Our parents like set it up somehow. Like they knew it was weird. Yeah, that's weird. And so he like came to bring me a teddy bear and my mom gave him a hug. And I was like, you're like, you want me to give him a hug? Me do this right now. I'm gonna lose my hug virginity. I don't want to hug him. And so I hugged him and then I cried after. Because I was like, Mom, I wasn't ready to hug a boy.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

No, that's really cute. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

No, they they have cute baby pictures together. Like younger stuff.

SPEAKER_02 54:07

It is really cute.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

Like that boy in his tank tops and fucking and beanies.

SPEAKER_02 54:14

It's so funny because we had the cringiest pictures together, and it's so funny to look back. But yeah, sometimes it's good to reconnect. I will say. Reevaluate your blocked list.

SPEAKER_01 54:26

I am I'm not going in there.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm yoking. Oh my gosh, I always have a little bit of time left. What am I so seriously serious about? I am so seriously serious about my morning routine. I did not play about my morning routine.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

You were serious about that, like the first or second episode. So that's really cute, full circle.

SPEAKER_02 54:47

I really said that.

SPEAKER_01 54:49

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

I was serious about my hatch alarm.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

Not about my hatch alarm. You've talked about your morning routine. You definitely talked about it. Well, I'm still serious about it. I'm pretty sure it was in our uh in our for International Women's Day. That's what she talked about. Her eyes are twitching, she's pissed. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

I've never been thinking about what I'm serious about. Anyways, I am so let me let me I'm not gonna remote myself because I'm ever changing, okay? Never changing. So I'm so seriously serious about my morning routine. I will give myself an hour and 20 minutes in the morning. Mind you, that means I wake up at 4 40 in the morning. But it's because I like to take my time. I like to drink my water while I'm getting ready. Take my dog out. I make my coffee for the day. I like to watch a movie. I have talked about this because I talked about the Twilight movie.

SPEAKER_01 55:50

And the candle. Yeah. I was like, maybe I just know her so well that I remember this course, but no, you did. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:57

So I did, but you know what?

SPEAKER_01 55:59

It doesn't change.

SPEAKER_02 56:00

It doesn't change anything. So I am very serious about it and I'm very consistent with it. Yes. Even though I'm really, really tired. I could literally have four hours of sleep. I will still wake up an hour and 20 minutes before I leave. But it, you know, I had this instructor one time for a class tell me that back when I was really anxious, he's you know, maybe you need to have a routine in the morning. Don't just wake up, get ready, and go. Like wake up and take some time for yourself and prepare yourself mentally for the day. Be very intentional in the morning. And so I've tried to be very intentional in the morning. When I take Charlie out, I actually go outside and I stand outside with her. I really just try to Okay, the first thing in the morning, I'm like outside in the universe. Yeah. And I'm like preparing myself, especially working in a hospital. Things have been really heavy lately.

SPEAKER_01 56:44

I'm like Yeah, we've gotten a few texts from Nikki in the last maybe two weeks.

SPEAKER_02 56:48

And she's just I'm like, so this is really deep. This is really happening.

SPEAKER_01 56:52

Really?

SPEAKER_02 56:53

I really did witness this, which is crazy because I worked in an ER and I thought, well, nothing could really top this. Yeah. And I'm like, it's just a different, it's just different. But yeah, that's what I'm really serious about, and I'm still serious about it. I guess I'm more serious about being intentional. And that's the person that comes to mind my morning routine, but I'm trying to be inten I'm journaling again.

SPEAKER_01 57:12

Nice. I need to start that.

SPEAKER_02 57:14

It's so funny. I love journaling because I like rereading stuff and I'm like, okay, drama. Okay, drama. Remember when you felt like this? Yeah, I'm like that's what I'm saying. That's cute though.

SPEAKER_01 57:25

I need to start doing that. I'm like, you're sensitive. I used to do that with my videos. I feel like I don't record my feelings anymore. Wow. I really think my feeling good. That's why no, I think my frontal lobe has really developed because now it's like, why am I gonna do that? Why do I need to record that? It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 57:44

I do feel like they weren't joking about that.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

They were not.

SPEAKER_02 57:49

We used to think I I believed it.

SPEAKER_01 57:53

I did not.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

I was like, yeah, but I believed it. I was like, no, I think for real. And I do feel like for I feel like my decision making has been a lot more clear and thought out. I'm not as I feel like mine has too.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

I feel like I have a lot more rational. And I have a lot more self-control.

unknown 58:12

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

I have a lot more self-control. 21-year-old me would have done some bad things, but So that was you a couple months ago. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

Okay. That's so true.

SPEAKER_01 58:24

Anyway. Bye. No, I actually have one more seriously serious. I want to be more intentional about God. I want to go back to church and I want to just know more about I don't know. I used to be so I used to be so I would always go to church. Every Sunday I would never miss. I feel like I still prayed God a lot and I still have a lot of faith, but I feel like I really fell off. And for the reasons being, God, I don't think you I don't think you can blame me for real because I was really down bad. But I went on a date recently and we ordered food, we ordered appetizers, and I go and I pick up the fry, take a bite out of the fry. And he's like, You don't have to, but I'm gonna pray. He's like, You don't have to though, don't worry. And I was like, I literally dropped the fries so fast I almost wanted to spit out the fries.

SPEAKER_02 59:14

I was like the chicken stomped. You just open it in your mouth and pray.

SPEAKER_01 59:19

He's like, I will not swallow until I say I won't have food, I promise. I'm gonna take a bite. No, but it was crazy. I literally I dropped the fries so fast, and I was like, Oh. And the crazy thing is that my mom prays a lot. And so my mom does pray before food, and even then, like sometimes I do say, Oh, thank you God for this food, amen. Blah blah blah, you know?

SPEAKER_02 59:38

Yeah, I've tried to be a little bit more at least say a thing. Yeah, at least, but this man, I just felt so clocked right there. I was like, Oh, I should have prayed. Anyway, but I had already been feeling this way. Like, I told you guys it to me. Yeah, I told you guys months ago that I think we've all been saying, like, no, we need we need to get into it. Yeah, we need to go to church together, and you know, but sometimes that feels more like uh I don't know, because I feel like I have a pretty good faith, but it feels like a like a self-disciplined thing to do, like to make that sacrifice, like to put that time and be intentional about going.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:13

I get that, bestie, I really do.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

We went to breakfast today and I stayed I stayed real quiet. I didn't touch the food, nothing. I was like, I know what's coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:21

How beautiful. Imagine you do find a man who leads you though. Like in the batha is really beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:28

We'll see. Yeah. We'll see, I don't know. I'm just going with the pillow. This was so much fun. It was. I had the best time. Yeah, this was really fun. We should do this again.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

Yeah. This is fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

Well, this is what we're gonna do next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:44

My name is Nikki.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:46

And I'm Celeste. Seriously, just girl. We'll talk to you guys next week. Bye. Bye.