Seriously... Trying Not to Take Things For Granted

Celeste & Nikky catch up and dish out their life updates. Not taking things for granted is easier said then done but something the girls really want to commit to. Nikky shares some insight on how she gained this perspective getting vulnerable about family matters. Get serious with the girls & stay tuned till the end to hear from a very special guest Haley Myerly. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome. Hey. Welcome back to the chat. Hello, hello. Miss you guys. I really did miss you. Guys. Oh. Dot dot dot. How are you? Um, we've been back home for a little while. I got fucked up. I don't know about you. No, I did too. We the ice got us. You didn't even have the ice, which is. I did one day. Remember that? I started a few days before you being sick, so. Yeah, not a good time. No, we were down bad. I think I'm finally feeling better. I feel like we really bonded over this, though. This was a trauma bond. It was a trauma bond. Speaking of, what do you think about trauma bonds? I'm just kidding. God me started. I already did a whole episode on that. But you're feeling better today? Oh my god, yeah. Thank God. You're a trooper, though. You may have been sick, but worse. I still saw you up and down and all around. Getting ready, going out. I had to go to work. I went out. No, same. It was rough. I had to go to work, and I was like. No, my dad was like, because I went to work one day, and then you guys know I have to let my dad know about what I'm doing. So I was like, I'm gonna go out with my friends. And he was like, You're sick, you can't go. I was like, but I went to work, and when I was little, that's how it worked. If you were sick, you couldn't go out. If you didn't go to school, you couldn't go out. Oh that's how it worked in my household. Oh rules. Don't know them. Can't relate. Just kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I started feeling better probably like a day or two ago. So we're on the comma. Yeah, I think we're on the same schedule, kind of. We are on we are really synced in more than one way. Right. So sisters. I was just thinking, well, I kind of brought it up to you before, right before we started recording, but I I feel like we would do so well living together. I think so too. We cohabitate very well together. Yeah. And I also think we both live such personal lives, but also such combined lives. We have like separate lives, but we communicate a lot and very well, I think, at this point in our friendship. Yeah. No, yeah, we're always talking to each other. That's why I think we were trauma bonded over this over how sick we were, because we were constantly texting each other. How are you feeling today?

unknown 2:27

Yeah, look.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Still in the trenches. Same. We couldn't even help each other because we could barely help each ourselves. Um, but yeah, I think we would love we have to do that once in our lives, I think. At least once, yeah. Even months or two. Yeah, even some. I was gonna say, even if it's just for the summer, even if it's just when we're right, right, right. Can't jinx us, can't get us. Can't get me if you don't know. Wait, who told us about that? I've always said that my lojo. Oh my keep it to yourself, especially when I first started dating my man. I'm like, I'm gonna keep it on lock. I don't share nothing. That's how you protect it.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

That's what I think. But you gotta find a balance in that because if you're in a bad relationship, you should talk about it. That's just my two cents. My mom's like, You guys have been laughing too much in your episodes. I'm like, stop laughing. Don't hate from outside of the club. If you want to join us, Laura, you can. No, she would be great on an episode. I gotta think of something special for her. Yeah, we definitely want to incorporate that soon. Eventually. We're just so busy with life. You have just been so busy, and I I want to make this a priority again. You know, I think it was just added so much. We first we started working heavily around the same time, right after we started the podcast. And then we'd just be saying yes to everything. I've been everywhere, you've been everywhere. We just haven't had time to like when we first started the podcast, we would have a full day or two to just talk about the pod and what we wanted to do and our plans, and we haven't really been able to do that lately, but we will. Yeah, I think we just want to invest more time and energy into like how because even my cousin oh my gosh, wait, let me tell you about this. So over the weekend, my niece was having her quintan alright, so she has a bunch of my cousins, my nephews and my nieces are in it. So I'm like going and making my rounds, and I was like, hey guys, and it's like my guy cousins. They're like, hey, seriously, just girl. Oh they were like, so funny about it. Anyway, I told them I would have them on an episode one day. Okay, sure. Um, when we went to Mech uh Mexico, my cousin, when he talked to my mom, he's like, Is Nicky there?

unknown 4:45

See?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

And he was like, seriously, just girls in Mexico. And I was like, just some girls traveling. No, it is so fun. No, that was so fun. Um, what was I talking about before though? How are you feeling? How are you? What's new? Uh anything new? Not really. Yeah. Just what? What are you up to? What are you up to these days? Um what am I up to? I'll tell you what you're up to and you tell me what I've been up to. Okay, what have I been up to? You've been doing a lot of actually you weren't working there for a little while. Um you weren't working there for a little while and then you went back to work. You were actually before Mexico you were in the hospital a lot. Prior to having answers. Um and you've just been doing a lot of traveling. Yeah. You have been hanging out with your man, I think. Sometimes. When I can.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Yeah, when you can, when you're not working.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

And I think you've been shopping a lot. That's about it. I have. And you've been cooped up at home. Yeah. It's been nice. What have I been up to? You have been I feel like you have been hanging out with like all of your friends, little by little, reconnecting with people. Oh. Yeah, it's been it's been like cute to hear about it and stuff. Yeah. Um you have been spending a lot of time with your nieces and your sister. Wow because of the skineta that's coming up. You guys are locked in right now. You guys are about to lock in even more. It's it's coming up. We're getting nervous. You guys are getting close. Everything will work out. It'll be really fun. It's gonna be so much fun, and no one's gonna notice the things that you guys think they're gonna notice. Lots of making it happen and just surprising me. And you've been working. Yeah. I feel like that's been your life, your family, your friends, and work. And honestly, that sounds really beautiful. That sounds like a beautiful, beautiful life. Yeah, yours sounds like a beautiful life too. It is a beautiful life. It's because we're in each other's lives. Oh, period. So let me debrief. And this kind of is gonna kick off what I would like this episode to focus on. So, in today's episode, I really want to think and talk about not taking things for granted and just how the power of positive thinking and positive energy can have such an effect on you. Because um, a few weeks ago, my dad started having fevers, and one night he got really, really sick and was having a lot of pain. Um, so I took him to the ER and he ended up having to get surgery. Everything was fine after the surgery, he felt good for like 20 hours, and then he had to go right back to the ER because he was having really bad fevers, ended up being a really, really serious infection. Actually, a series of infections. He went septic, he was just not having a good time at all. And it was really, really, really, really, really hard to see my dad like that. Because my dad, I mean, I've talked about him. He is just he's everything. He is my family, he is what makes us a unit, you know. I really do feel like my dad is the leader of the family. And glue. Again, he's a glue and he's the strength, and he obviously he's the provider, he just does so much for us. So it was like so humbling to flip that script and then let us take care of him and have to be there for him and be the glue that kind of holds them together. And a big thing was like positivity. My dad would say, I don't want any negative energy, I don't want any negative thoughts or comments. We're all gonna get through this, everything's gonna be good, we are gonna be good. And he is home now after two weeks in the hospital, which is crazy. I think it was it was under two weeks. It was like 12 days in the hospital, I think. And he's still he's still not completely cleared yet. He has um some home health care that he still has to do that's kind of keeping him cooped up here. But yeah, it's been really crazy. I think it's so like to have that thought. What's gonna happen if I lose my parent right now? What's gonna happen if I lose my dad right now? It was it was so hard to think about, but like you have to be realistic, you know. It's so hard because I feel like I know a little bit of healthcare, so I know like how bad things can go in one night, you know. We did not leave that man alone. We're spending the night there, we were there all day, all night. Like we did not leave him alone because I love healthcare, but I don't trust anybody with my dad. I trust myself, and um, yeah, so that's kind of like I feel like it has changed my perspective so much on life. So well, I'm even more grateful, and I'm even more passionate about positivity. Um no, but there was like something in specific I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

If and I I also kept thinking, I know my dad is really, really sick right now, and things are scary, but there are people who deal with illness their whole life. Their parents are sick their whole life, their sister is sick their whole life, their brother, their son, you know. Like my heart really goes out to you because that is the worst thought and feeling in the entire world. I feel like honestly, nothing that I have ever been through, and I feel like I've been through some things, has come even close to that. You know what came to mind? What? It's um I'm very proud of you, by the way. Thank you. It was a lot. Those two. It was a lot, and thank you. Thank you. Celeste was checking on me every day, all day, asking what I can do for you guys, how can I help you guys? How can I support you guys? Not just me, but my mom too. You reached out to her. You were such a good friend. I was like, oh my gosh, really do got a best friend. You guys are my family too. That's how I feel about my best friends, like and their families. Yeah, no, but you really showed out. All my friends reached out to me, but I feel like you in specific. Like, my mom was like, Dang, she just wants to come home. Like, yeah, should we let her? I think she wants to be in the room with us. I was like, you can come spend the night too. No, I really do think that that's the most important time, especially because I've been through stuff like that too, where it's like you're just constantly at the hospital and it's like, No, you can't do anything for me, but it's really nice that you asked, or it's really nice that you just are thinking of me. Um so I that's I don't know, my whatever. Not in the point. But what I saw one time, and it was like it's really important to pick your partner. Oh, because one day you're gonna lose your parents, and like you need to make sure that your partner is who can be there for you. And so that's just what came to mind. I know that is really true, though. Yeah, I know that you know we love, we love there's no question to that. I just wanted to bring that up. No, no, no, you are right, and he did show up for me too, and I was like, You checked another box. It just felt like I don't know, I don't know a lot. It there was such a blessing in disguise because my dad was a hard ass, okay? He really is, he's not super affectionate, he's not a softie at all. I know my dad very well, so I know that I'm his whole world and his family is his whole world, but he doesn't really tell us that. That's just something you gotta put two and two together on. You just gotta assume. You just gotta assume based off the actions. But I feel like it was such a blessing in disguise for my dad to grow as well. I feel like my dad has grown a lot because of this, and it's been so beautiful to be like, wow, you can still grow even at 58, you know, like you can still change.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Your dad is 58.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Is that old? No. How old is my dad? I think my dad's 56. Oh, they're very close in age. Yeah, I wonder if they did it all. Maybe. Continuous. He has an accent. My dad loves everybody with accents. My dad has an accent? Yeah. My last month actually has been very challenging. Like very um testing. Like, I feel like I've been tested a lot this month. I don't know if I passed them or not, but I got put on administrative leave at work. This was like the first time I've ever been in trouble at work in my whole life. Like this. It was not my fault. There was a miscommunication. That's all I'm gonna really say about it. Hippa. No, I live. No, this is so funny because when I got put on leave, I'm like, guys, I literally got put on leave. This is the worst day of my life, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Celeste and Haley are like, What'd you do? What happened? I was like, I got into a fight. So they're like, What? What do you mean? Like, what kind of fight? Yeah, wait, what happened? Call us, call us. But I couldn't call them right away because I had to call my parents right away. And eventually I was like, just kidding, I didn't get into a fight. It was ended up being something very dumb and minuscule, but I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it. I don't know how that works, you know. Yeah. That's fine. But, anyways, it was a blessing in disguise because right after my dad got out of the hospital, I went to New Orleans and then I went to Mexico City. Mind you, these were all trips that were paid for. I tried, especially the New Orleans trip. I tried to refund it and I couldn't. Um so it was nice to be forced to stay home and just spend even though it was a couple days, it was so nice to spend it with my parents. Yeah. And also Nelly didn't leave when her dad was like because if not, we would have let the trip go to waste. Oh, yeah. If my dad was doing good, yeah. If my dad was not okay, I would not have left at all. I would have they took us to the airport the first time. Yeah. Oh, and Mexico City. Yeah, my dad was doing a lot better. Yeah. He was able, him and my mom took us to the airport, which was really nice.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Any other updates? That's my main ones. Those were like my challenging ones. I um I set up boundaries with a really, really close person in my life, which was really hard for me to do. I've never really done that in my life. I usually just cut a person off if I feel negatively about the situation. But I'm 25 and my brain's developed, and I realize that's not how I want to move in my life. Because I don't want to take anything for granted. Period. And I want to be positive. Full circle moment for Nikki over here. So, yeah, that's been my month of May, June. I hope you're a lot nicer to me. I think it will. It's a lot more chill this month. It's a lot of a little fun activities, I think. More wholesome and just not these crazy things. Because I do think traveling, I love to travel. But I do think it's so stressful and it's so that's how I feel right now. Like I'm just happy to be home. And I'm excited that I don't really have anything coming up for now. You could just chill for a little. Yeah. Yeah. But um, I don't really feel like I have any updates in my life. I've been having like crazy dreams. Really? Yeah, like I've been having crazy dreams about very specific people in very specific situations. It's so random, too. And the thing is, is that I don't have vivid Haley has crazy vivid dreams. My dreams are like movies. And she oh, you do? Yeah. Well, Haley just tells me about her dreams then because I don't hear about yours. Sorry. But no, hers are like very vivid though. It's like and she has great memory when she tells them. So she's she's also they're like also a little premeditated sometimes. She's had crazy intuitive dreams about movies. They're very intuitive, that's the word. They're very intuitive. But when she tells me and we're having the conversation, sometimes I forget that she's telling me it's a dream, and I'm like, wait, what did she say? What happened? And I'm like, no, no, no, it's a dream, it's a dream. It's not that. But yeah, I've just had crazy dreams lately. And you know, got people that you don't want to think about. Mm-hmm. That's usually how it happens, I think. You stuff it down, it can just come back up. But it's weird. Like you can go days without thinking about a person and then boom, it's in your dream. Yeah, and you're like, ah, jump scare. It's like, why? Um other than that though, I don't really have anything, which is crazy. I just feel like I've been like on a slow bre it's because I've been sick. It's really because I've been sick. I'm like, you went out, you went to work. No, but I was sick. I'm down. You did not have fun? Not really. But it's because I was sick. Yeah, you're uncomfortable. Like, I just don't also like I think I like have really I love to be the person, and we know this. I love to be the person that says yes. I love to be the person to be at everything and interact with everybody, and I don't I don't really feel like my social battery ever dies. I feel like I always want to be on the move. I feel like for the last month, like last like probably a year, I've just been on the move every single day.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Even when I didn't have a job, I was like on the move. Seriously, you made moves. And now I'm just like, I just don't want to do anything. I just want to be at home. I think that's good. And do nothing. I think that's a good thing. I think that's like really good. Yeah, my parents would be really, really happy. Cause like here's the thing you're still not home that much, but you're home more than you were. Right. And that matters, right? And that counts. While we were in Mexico, I actually had a little bit of an emotional mourning one day. And I was like crying, like at a coffee shop or on the side. You burned the Uber. We're in the Uber and I'm crying. Nikki's like, are you okay? No, I was like, Are you crying? And she's like, I was really emotional. Basically, my sister has just been working her ass off and just hasn't had we just haven't really talked, and it makes me really sad because that's my best friend, you know? And so I think I called her one night that we were gonna go out and all pissy. I was like, so I don't even think you love me anymore. What's going on with you? Whatever. And then we had a whole conversation, caught up a little bit, and the next morning it's me and Nikki at this coffee shop. We're sitting down, and I was like, you know what, Nikki? I don't even think she wanted to talk to me. Nikki's like, okay, relax. Like she's just a mama five. She works a lot, she's like working hard for the skin set, like she's trying to make Vivi happy. Just shut up. That's fine. But your sister shows up. Like it must run in your guys' bloodline or something because she does so much for her nephew's school performances and events. She's so involved. That takes so much work. Like, how exhausting. Yeah, that day that we were referring to, she literally woke up early in the morning. I think you had FOMO because you were there either. Maybe because I kept watching that video of Christian dancing and his school performance. I was in love with it. I just kept look, look, and then I heard it in the background like getting ready. I'm like, again. But yeah, um, and then she I basically just texted her. I was like, you know, this isn't a live stream, right? You've already seen it. Not gonna change. Um uh I just feel like I also don't want to take life for granted. I feel like now that I've been working more and just like having to say more like having to say no sometimes, it really makes me thankful for all the activities I've or for it really makes me thankful for everything I've already lived and done, you know? I don't want that to stop. So even though I love like not wanting to go out and wanting to stay home, I also don't want to say no to things. I just want to keep saying yes. Yeah, yeah. I feel like everything with my dad just taught me that like life is really short and you cannot predict anything. If any like everyone who I told, like, oh yeah, my dad's in the hospital right now, they're like, What? Like he's the healthiest guy I know. Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter. Like, illness does not care who you are, what you look like, how old you are, like, it will come and get you if it's meant to come and get you. Like, you just you just never know. So you just gotta keep everything with a balance, like I always say. Keep saying yes to things, but also take care of yourself and don't overexhaust yourself. Like, I feel like you're so tired because you just like hanging out with people, like you give your energy to them, you know. That's exhausting when you constantly do that. I think if you give it to the right people, it's not as exhausting. Because they give it back. Because they give it back. Interesting. Lots to think about. That is a lot to think about. But yeah, I just feel um I am just like exhausted. I don't know. Yeah, you look so tired. Yeah, thank you. You just look like I like burnt out. Yeah, you were in the sun all day though. And I've only been working for a little bit, so I'm like, damn. I'm so excited for it tonight. Summer starts today. This is it. This is the start of summer. Like summer may start in June. What end of June? June 20 something? Starts today. Today's the day. Today is the day. Today is the season premiere of Love Island USA. I am hosting a watch party. And I am so excited about it because I just it's just such a fun, dumb show. I think some people really took it serious last year, though. They took it too far. It was pretty crazy. People were like, we're writing for some crazy toxic people, and some people were believing some manipulators. It was crazy. But it teaches you a lot, though. No, about yourself too. Yeah. I was like, I can't believe I misjudged you. Episode one, I thought you were a snake. But then I love them. Or I would love a character and then they would like to show them say something, and you're like, oh, huh. I guess I don't know. So you're a mean girl. That is crazy. That's why that's what I've had dreams about. Mean girls. I've had like vivid dreams about it's weird. It's weird. I think this is my second night that I've dreamt about her. Anyway. I've just had bad dreams about mean girls. I don't know why. So I feel like overtaking my nightmares. I think it's also when you just like, well, whatever. Anyway, yeah, you learn a lot. You also learn a lot about people who like support those people. Remember last year we were like, oh, this is telling. You like her. You like him. Yeah. Yep. I think my intuition is right though. Every time I've thin I've thought that person is toxic. They are. I I have really learned to trust my gut this year, which is really nice because that took some repairing. Me too. I really want to talk about this. Basically, my dad was talking about a certain person. He was like, Yeah, I never liked him from the first day I met him. I never liked him. And I was like, huh. I was like, well, why don't you ever tell me? He was like, because you have to figure that out on your own. And I was like, oh, okay. I was like telling him, I was like, well, can I just bring every guy that I start dating? Can I just bring him to meet you? And he was like, no, why would you do what like why would you do that? And I was like, because it'll save me time. Literally just a thumbs up or down. Like, that's all you gotta do. I'll listen, I promise. That is so great. That's what I told my parents too when I started dating. I was like, no, seriously. You need to tell me what you think. Obviously, with a valid explanation. Yeah. But I need and some evidence to back up your point. But listen. I will I will listen to the facts. Yeah. And so I was telling my dad about that, and he was like, Yeah, he was like, you know, if that makes you feel better, sure. I'll meet, I'll meet them. And I was like, okay, get to that. I guess. Give me more work. Um, but my dad's a pretty good person about that too. Like when he says something, like, oh no, that's not a good person. He's usually on the spot. So is my mom and so is my sister. I feel like I'm not like that. I wasn't like that. Oh, so everybody was just rainbows and sunshines. And I don't think that I think the worst of people, first off, I don't. Like, I don't assume the worst in a person, but I feel like I I'm not as forgiving with warning signs and red flags in a person. If they do something and I clock it, I'm like, it's gonna take a lot for me to unclock what I just clocked. You know, I'm like, no, I kinda made my mind up about you. I think that's it. I don't wonder as much about people as I used to. I'm just like, no, I think this about you, so it's probably who you are. Yeah. And they end up being like that. Yeah, I've been pretty good about that. There's a couple people that I hope prove me wrong, but they're not going to. Oh. I know. And I know it. I watched the movie Obsession. Uh triggering AF. I'd be so. If you have listened to our toxic episode, then you understand why that movie would trigger me so much. It was so bad. I started crying in the movie theater. My boyfriend felt. I think he felt so bad that he took me to go see that movie. He's like, I'm so sorry. I did not think that it was gonna scare you that bad. I'm like, no, brother, that gave me deja vu. That was sound scary. Took me back. It was a time. I don't want to watch that movie. No, I don't think you should. I I don't think you should, but I I really actually admire the message behind it. And it's really interesting because of course after I watch a movie, I like to look it up on TikTok, see what other people think. And one thing I've noticed that it was the director's first movie, and it's doing so well. And so people are like obviously want him in the interviews, and he's actually taking the interviews and like actually I love when a director actually tells you like what he's thinking and why he did certain things. I hate when other directors are like, Well, it's up to you to think what you think. No, girl, I want to tell me what you're saying. You think what your message, what your exactly, so I could respect it more, and he has just been. I love him. I want him to make more scary movies and more regular movies. I like scary movies. I don't. I know. None of my friends do, not one of you guys. I will watch comedy movies and act comedy. I love Batman and Spider-Man. Like, I love Marvel. I watch, I think because my brothers, like, we just watch them growing up, and so I just grew to love them so much. Yeah. Can I be also just gonna say, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I am in such a bad mood, and I'm really happy I'm here because I know that like being with my friends is gonna put me in a better mood. But like even though you want to take things, you don't want to take things for granted, sometimes it's really fucking hard. I'm just gonna say my thoughts here. I don't know what's going on, what's in the air, what I'm feeling. I don't know how to describe it. I just feel off.

unknown 27:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I don't know if maybe it's because I've just been like on the go, go, go, go, go, and I really haven't had time to chill. Today, literally, all I had to do was like get my life together, and I feel like I did an okay job. I'm not done. So that's why I'm like not allowing myself to stay here past a certain time because I need to go home and get my life together. But I just feel off today. Yeah. Really? Kind of moody than a bad mood or what? Yeah. But that's an already past. We'll talk after. I don't, I just wanted to say that, give some context because I feel like usually I'm more talkative. Usually I have like lots of things. I'm over here, like really holding the episode on my back. But if you don't want to talk, I'll talk. Like I've got tons to say about this. Listen, this is this is what I think. I think not taking things for granted. Having a bad day doesn't mean you're taking your life for granted. Let's start there. It's okay to have a bad day, and it's okay to have a day where you're just like, I don't know. I I mean this in the nicest way. Like maybe because of how you're feeling, like, this is one of the times where it's okay to say, like, you know what? I think I just need to stay home and like take care of me and not do. No, but I wanted to come. I know, I know, but it would have been okay too if you were like, guys, like I need to like not do anything. Not do anything, you know? That's okay too. Like, especially because you never really have, you never, that doesn't really come out of you. And I personally would take it very seriously and not hold it against you at all because I know that that is very unlike you. So I'd be like, okay, she really gotta get it together, you know, and that's okay because you have been go, go, go. Yeah, and that that is not taking your life for granted or not wasting your yeses, like you know, it's okay to take care of yourself. But I do think people, there are people who take their life for granted, and I think it's selfish. Oh, I do, because it's like God really did all that, and you're gonna just throw your life away. You're just gonna not participate in society, you're not gonna make your parents' sacrifice worth it, you're not gonna do anything, you know. I I think that that is really, really, really selfish. And I never want to be like that. And maybe I take it too far, I don't know. Maybe I maybe you take it too far, you know, because you don't want to take anything for granted, you don't want to waste any possible memories that you could be making. But everything, everything in a balance, I think. I uh I think traveling too has opened up my eyes a lot. I just want to go everywhere. And I was like telling my dad where I want to go, I want to go to Antigua, and my dad was like, You're dumb. If you think that I'm gonna let you go to Guatemala, and I was like, I said Guatemala, not Colombia, it's nice there, and my dad was like, No, absolutely not. But I want to hike the volcano. I really tell him to go. I did tell him that, and then the next day he was like, you know, I've always wanted to go there. Oh, okay. But I didn't question it. I was like, Yes, sí senorta, let's go, you know. Better for me if he goes. But I really want to challenge myself to something like different fit. Last year I did a half marathon. This year I haven't set my mind to anything physical. Oh my gosh, I keep thinking about that um 5k that Haley wants us to run to, and it's only three miles, but like just thinking about it. I'm just scared that I'm gonna get a stomach cramp and have to walk in. We'll be like, guys, I'll meet you there. I'm very excited for that. No, you don't have to be a little bit more. We're not excited for the heat. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Well, it'll be in the afternoon. And it'll be by the beach, it'll be fine. Yeah. I hope. I hope. Is there anything that you've like been unhappy with? Unhappy with? Oh. Um, probably my job. Really unhappy, actually. It really frustrates me. I think I could talk about healthcare forever because I think that so many people do go into it with the best of intentions and they just want to help people. And I think that the system fails them. I think that they get crazy ratios. I think that they have really, really bad um staffing shortages. I think that management like micromanaging is exhausting. I think that there's not enough mental health care for healthcare workers, like resources. And so I think all that eventually over time creates burnout, which then just makes nurses and doctors and CNAs and even the lunch ladies just all grumpy and just angry and short-fused and unhelpful and rude, and that is just such a bummer, and I do blame it on the system. Um, I think who am I to really judge if I haven't really, really been in those shoes? I don't even think it's because my dad was in the hospital, but obviously it makes it even stronger on this point. Like at the end of the day, if it were your mom, your dad, your son, your daughter, your friend, your brother, your sister, whoever, someone close to you, I think you would want them to be treated with the utmost kindness and empathy and compassion. And I really did not see that on the other side of it. And that made me really, really sad. And I feel like I'm really unhappy about it. And I feel like a lot of positive came from my dad being in the hospital, as crazy as it sounds, but a lot of things also, too. I was like, uh oh. The world is very angry, and I don't like that. I feel like I'm unhappy about that. Is there anything you're unhappy about? I know there's at least one. Your quietness. I really don't know. I think I think I've been really unhappy with like the idea of change is really exciting, but it's also really nerve-wracking, I think. And I think a lot of that has to do with like me and like my own insecurities. So I just feel so much of my own body changing, and I feel so much of like how I think changing, and just so much of my life changing, and while it's so good, I think the idea or like the concept of it is so scary and it puts you off. So, like, even though all these great things are happening to you, you're just constantly in your head and you're just like, Oh, that's a great point. Yeah, a lot is happening, and it's really scary, and then it makes you scared because then it's like, Do I want this to happen? And you like fight it, yeah. Do I want this to happen? You know, you're like constantly in your own head. So I think that's what I'm unhappy with, is like my brain lately. I feel like I'm just like in this constant, like weird state of mind where I don't really know what I want, how I feel, or anything like that. That's tough. You know what's really funny? Before this episode started, Nikki and I were texting this morning and we were like, what do we want to do, what do we want to talk about today? Usually we have like our topics and like we're ready to go, but like we really none of them weren't resonating, yeah. And we really just have been so busy, and just like when we have time to pod, we have time to pod and we make time for it, but we just have so much going on lately. But before, I we were like, I want to keep this one light and positive and happy because and this girl shows up grumpy as a mother. In my defense, but you know what? We're all humans, yeah. And in my defense, this is only my second episode where I show up grumpy, so that's good. So I have two. Yeah, I get two. Someone's been telling me that I have an attitude, and it's just been making me mad. Oh yeah, because it's like I literally don't have an attitude. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. I do not have an attitude. She said with an attitude. Alright, never mind. Let me just shut up. But like, I don't mean it like that. I swear. I'm in a good mood before that. Anyway, no valid, valid. Do you feel like there's something that you used to take for granted that you just don't anymore, that you just like really appreciate? Maybe working. Ooh. I feel like even now I dread working. I dread it. I hate the idea of like working for someone, even though I know that that's what my life is gonna be. Like, I know exactly what I want to do in this life, and unfortunately, like I'm always gonna be working for somebody, but um what is it, working for the government? That's scary. That's scary. But I think um I think I definitely took working for granted. I love the stability of it and the routine that comes with it, and I love waking up, having breakfast, having lunch, and coming home and like you know, um, and so yeah, I think that's something I took for granted for sure. Wow. You're like, not me. I loved unemployment. The best year of my life. No, and I did too. But it's really nice to like not. It's really nice to have something to do. Yes, something to look forward to, something to be responsible about. Yeah. Yeah, goes towards your career. I feel like what did I take for granted? I'm working on something that's going towards my career, and that makes me really excited. Something that I took for granted that I appreciate a lot more now is I don't know why. Like the first thing that comes to my mind is like my anxiety. I don't know why. That's like the first thing that comes to mind, and I'm trying to like think about why that's coming to mind. But I just think like I just think that my anxiety has just really protected me from a lot. And I really appreciate medication for anxiety. I really appreciate my therapist. I really appreciate how deep it's made me. Um, and I feel like maybe obviously I didn't take anxiety for granted. I wanted to get rid of her and stuff like that. Well, I guess that's what that means. But I I don't know, I just appreciate like how how it shaped me. I like me now. I used to really be hard on myself growing up about it. And even just a year ago, I feel like I would talk down about my mental health and my anxiety a lot. Like be like, oh well, I'm a square, I'm this, I'm that, I can't do this, I can't do that. But now I'm like people seem to appreciate like how it shaped me, like how you appreciated my itineraries, and like I feel like my boyfriend really appreciates like how appreciative I am, and I feel like my parents also just appreciate they probably appreciate how clean the house is and those are. Yeah, I think I I'm really thankful now for it. That's beautiful. Yeah, that might change, but right now I feel appreciative of it. Um do you think that one way of taking I don't know, because some people taking things for granted is also not appreciating what you have in the moment, right? It kind of goes hand in hand. I feel like our generation really struggles with being present in the moment. And I used to feel like that about you, and I used to feel like that about myself sometimes. And I feel like we have been a lot better about being in the present. And I feel like that's one way that you cannot take things for granted, right? Yeah, we're a little nervous right now. We have a live audience for the first time, and I don't like it. Okay, okay, okay. What are you so seriously serious about today? Um, Haley's gonna be really proud of me for this one. Ooh. But I'm really serious about um getting all my dental and my doctor's appointments in. You have all that appointment is really good. I did have a doc a dentist appointment a couple months ago. Two months ago, and that was fine. But I had a doctor's appointment that I have two months ago, and I got a referral for it because I've been having like some scary sharp pains and stuff that I've been telling my friends about, and they've been so worried about me. So worried. And yeah, I'm going this Friday to get that checked out, which I'm like really happy about because I hope you get that figured out. Me too. Answers are peaceful. I think you can find some peace in answers. And I'm also really, really serious. I know I've said this before, but I need to get back in the gym. I've never felt, and this is really vulnerable for me, but I've never felt so insecure about my body and my weight, which is like crazy. But it's if that's how you feel, that's valid. I told you that in med school. If that's how you feel, yeah, you're valid. And so I just need to even though girls would literally pay 50 grand to look like you right now, you're still valid. You know what it is too though? Like when you don't work out, you don't feel good inside. That's true. So I think that's a lot of what it is. Like I just don't feel good. You think if it was muscle, you'd be like, oh yeah, I'm strong right now. I don't know, because even when I work out, I don't feel like I gain any muscle. Well, maybe now you will because you got something to work with. True. And you you're eating, sleeping, you know, drinking water, like a oh yeah, that's another thing I'm serious about. Okay. I'm like, dang, I guess so many. You're really serious today. No. Um I am giving up soda for row for roll. Because my skin is so bad. That's another thing I'm so insecure about. There's just so many things I'm insecure about right now. Yeah. My skin has been doing so bad. My eczema is doing so bad. I feel it when like especially, I don't know. Think of it of if you don't have eczema, think of it as like a dry, super dry rash on your face, and it just makes you feel so uncomfortable. Like when I smile, it hurts. When I sneeze, it hurts. When I literally do anything around my face, it hurts. So I'm just over it, and I don't know what else I could do besides drink water. So yes, that's what I have to do. I also cannot handle soda as well as I used to. It's anyone people can't hold their liquor as well as they used to. That's how I feel about soda. Because it hurts my tummy. It really, really does. I'm not that serious about that. Sometimes I'll do it with the pain. I already can't have gluten. Like, what am I gonna do? Could I soda Lex? That's crazy. That's embarrassing. No, that's my worst fear, but um back to how you're feeling though. I feel like I have uh said this at least once to all my friends because we're all just girls, okay? And we all have insecurities. And but the number one thing is I think we notice things about ourselves a million times more than other people notice things about us, especially those things. I've had a friend who has dealt with acne, and I feel like I never I didn't look at her and be like, oh, there's acne. That is just that's just who you know. I didn't see that, and I don't look at you and say, like, oh, she has eczema. Like we don't, I don't notice that, you know. I don't You got eczema. Um you got eczema crazy, you got eczema. So I think that nothing is wrong with being a little critical of yourself because that's just another way for you to grow. Yeah, you always want to be your best. Be healthy with it because I love you exactly as you are. But if you if you feel like there are things that you need to approve on, then you probably do and you should. Simple as that. There's always room for improvement. Exactly. What are you so seriously serious about today? I am so seriously serious about you got nothing. No, I do. You know what I'm really serious about, and it's actually been um like something weighing on my chest, is that I need to like suck it up sometimes. I need to be serious about like just sucking it up and like doing what I have to do because my first thought, like when something doesn't go my way, or I'm a little frustrated, like right now, frustrated with my job. I just don't like the way things are going, I disagree with a lot of things. My first thought is like, well, I could just get another one. And that is true, but I also need to put everything into perspective and realize that this is a good gig and it is convenient and it's more beneficial than it's not. So I'm serious about having some discipline and having some like hard truths with myself and been like, yeah, maybe it's not your favorite thing in the world. It doesn't mean that it doesn't have its purpose in your life, though, you know? I'm really proud of you. That's really that's really good. Thank you so much. No, I'm really so proud of you. Yeah, I just want to be really disciplined. I have a friend who's really disciplined, and we really want to have her on an episode to talk about it eventually. But for now. But for now, we're just an after what she's so seriously serious about. Drum roll, please. We have Haley Miley.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

I feel like I always hear you guys talk about me, so I feel like this is my big break.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

I am this is gonna be such a beautiful surprise.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

I can't wait till I'm actually on an episode.

SPEAKER_01 45:24

Yeah, we're gonna do a for a like a real episode soon, soon, soon.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

How close do I have to be?

SPEAKER_01 45:28

You're fine, like you're fine like that.

SPEAKER_00 45:30

Okay, cool. Oh, I'm so seriously serious about communicating with your friends. Oh, because I'm not very good at that. Well, I feel like I pick and choose when I'm good at that.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Oh, yeah, you do too. But yeah, great way to put it.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

But I noticed that with my fiance, I have no problem communicating when I don't feel 100% confident in that relationship. But then when it comes to my friendships, if I don't feel 100% confident in them, I tend to like recoil into a shell of a human and just not address it, and then I end up feeling really terrible. But today I had a really good phone call with a friend, and I just communicated all my feelings that I've kind of been suppressing for the last three months. And it anytime I communicate with a friend, it goes better than I always think. I feel like I always think worst case scenario. I always think worst case scenario, and it's like okay, they're your friend for a reason, and it's not because they're gonna chew you out. So yeah, I'm so seriously serious about that.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

We should all be serious about that.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

Thank you, everyone.

SPEAKER_01 46:36

You heard it here first. Be serious about improving yourself and your friendships and sucking it up sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 46:47

The only way to get through it is to go through it.

SPEAKER_01 46:50

Exactly. Yeah. I hope that resonates with every single person listening to this today. Thanks everyone. Bye. I'm Nikki, and I'm Celeste, and I'm Haley. Ciao. And this is seriously just girls. Thank you. Bye.