Seriously... Let's Be Friends

The girls are talking adult friendship this week because let's be real, making friends as an adult is hard... like, really hard. Adult friendships can feel like dating, how to put yourself out there, the importance of being the friend you want to have, and what qualities make up a dream friend group. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Good morning. Good morning. Hey, how are ya? I'm so I'm doing so well.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

You are?

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Yeah, how about you?

SPEAKER_00 0:15

I'm doing really good. I woke up on the right side of the bed today.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Hey. I'm really good. Me too, actually.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

I feel good every time I got a medical jersey on. I must say. How'd you sleep? What was your sleep score?

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Oh, you know what? I didn't even check. Did you check?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Um, I didn't sleep with my ring on.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Why not?

SPEAKER_00 0:34

I forgot.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

What's the point of a ring really sleeping? I know.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

I was so tired. I put it to charge. And I was like, okay, just 15 minutes and I'll put it on before I go to bed. Nope. Out. I got a 71. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

My readiness is a 77 though.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Oh. You know, I only got an 88 sleep score yesterday, even though I slept for nine hours.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

I feel like whenever I sleep longer, I just don't sleep as I miss my 97 scores.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, what's up with that? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

I really want the new aura ring.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

I really want the ceramic one. I want a pink one. Or the baby blue. So cute. Really?

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Oh. So cute. No, I want the gold one. I just like that it's slimmer and smaller. Yeah. Like mine. But I think I get over the bulkiness. Sometimes it overwhelms me a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Oh, really? I don't notice it.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I notice it, sometimes I don't. More often than not, though. Wait, less often than not. Wait, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Just move it on.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

You can say it in the morning. I don't know what you're trying to say. I should have got us breakfast. I am a little hungry. My stomach was growling on the way here.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

I would say Chick-fil-A.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

We're clocking in though.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Um before 10:30. I think it's possible. So wait, did you do anything exciting this week?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Um You did. I did. I went to Vegas with my mom. How was that? It was like a it was really fun. It was her Mother's Day gift. We went to go see the Wizard of Oz at the sphere. It was so cool. I was low key dizzy though. That was kind of crazy. Yeah. I was like, what? I felt like I was like drunk or something. Anyways. Halfway through the movie though, I kind of got used to it. I think I adjusted. Um, but it was so much fun. My mom was like a little kid in a candy store. My mom never, one thing about my mom, she never is like, oh, can you take a picture of me? Or she never wants to be in pictures at all. The whole time she's there. She's like, pull out your hands. Can you take a picture of me here? Can you take a picture of me here? He I was like, oh my gosh. Girl, do you want to go again next week? You are so happy. I'll go. I just want her to be happy like that all the time. Really? That's a crazy statement. So much.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

I love Vegas so much. I went one time. Any other times? Like one time we went for like a football game and then we didn't even go out. So it was just like yeah. Last time, oh my gosh, it was so much fun. I would do Vegas every weekend. Just kidding. You're crazy. No, you wouldn't. I would do it at least once every two months. If I could do Vegas for my birthday, I totally would.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

I think I'm gonna do Vegas for my birthday.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Ayy.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Yeah. I'm actually really excited about it.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

I'm really excited. I didn't really do much this. Wait, actually. What's today?

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Today is Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

I just feel like all I do is work lately.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Okay. Almost three days a week. Ayy, me too, but they feel heavy. They feel heavy. Especially because they're kind of spread out. Yeah. So you're like, what am I, what am I? Where am I? My days are together, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I just feel tired, but yes, yeah, it was really fun. It was my nephew's birthday, and everybody came over. We did cake and we just hung out and it was so much fun. It was a good time. I saw some pics. Gabby posted a pic. She didn't post a pick.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

I was like, cute, cute, cute. I was like, give me a matcha.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Oh my god, yeah, the girls brought a match. I'll take one too. They brought like seven. No, that's seven. Yeah, I saw there was like five matches.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Yeah, there was like a lot in that picture.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

I was like, they made some for me. And what's one more? My mom, my dad, my mom and dad drank that thing up. They love the matcha.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

I got um in Vegas. There's this influencer that I really like. Her name is Manana. Manana. Manana. And she lives in Vegas, and she's always posting this matcha from this coffee shop. And I'm like, oh my gosh, it always looks so good. So we went and it was delish. Their coffee was mid and it's called broken coffee. My mom was like, maybe their machine's broken. Because the coffee was not good. But their matcha, they really got me on the matcha. It was really good.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

I don't really like matcha like that, but I did drink yesterday's. Did you like it? Oh, it's good. It was sweet, but there's still that grassy aftertaste that I don't really. Anyway. You know what I love most in this life? What? It's making friends. It is my favorite thing to do. Went to Mexico. I was like, Nikki, all I want to do is make friends this trip. I left with no friends.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Let's get right into this. But why is it so hard? It is hard. It is really hard. I feel like it was not this hard because life just gave us friends, like in school, in sports. It was so easy to meet new people.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

But yeah, I just feel like it was so much easier to make friends when we were in school. Also, it kind of took me a while to make friends because I had to warm up to people a lot. But because I was it was the same people for years and years, finally I was like, alright, cool. Like we could be interested, you for three years. We can keep you. How are you doing? How do you think you make friends?

SPEAKER_01 6:04

I don't know. I literally just talk. It's weird. Like I almost feel like with new people, I'm almost like even more social, like more myself. It's weird. I just love to talk to people. I say that, but then I'm in the situation and I'm like, alright.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Yeah, I'm like, is it more yourself or is it more of a you're just being friendly? And like yourself is very yourself is like very chill, just you, like when it's just us. I feel like you're very chill. Like when you're at my house, and then when it's someone new, you're like, hey, welcome back. That was like an intrusive thought. Like I said to say.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

It's really funny. I don't know. I just I honestly I don't know the difference, but I just know I love to talk. I guess I love to talk all the time. Hence why we started a podcast. Yeah. But I think my favorite, I think it's really cool when you're like meeting somebody and you just instantly can talk about anything and everything, and you can just hit it off. Yeah. So I feel like if you know my lifelong story and you just know everything about me, like it's just because we like really hit it off.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Like Celeste will be like, hey, I'm Celeste. Do you want to know like the worst thing I've ever been through?

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Maybe it'll get them to cave and then we're bonded.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Yeah, and then they'll be like, Oh, I'll tell you my trauma too.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Yeah, like we have to.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

What do you trauma bond, trauma share?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

That's deep.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

That's probably not the best way to go about it, but no, I think it's bad to start relationships like that, but I think friendships, it's totally fine. Yeah, especially woman-to-woman, you know, like it's okay. Like, even though I'm funny and I'm pretty and it seems like I have so much fun, like I'm still a real girl. Yeah. Deep down, and like this is my truth. And then I think people, if people can relate to you, like they can be friends with you. And I think that is really beautiful. Yeah, it's a really good start to a friendship, too. I feel like I have gotten better at being more outgoing, like, especially like with my boyfriend's friends. I at first I think I was really, really quiet and really, really shy. Um, but now I'm just I'm just like, whatever. Let's just be friends.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

I guess.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

How were you growing up as a kid? You said that you took a while to warm up to people.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Yeah, I I don't want to be like a pick me, but I feel like girls did not like me in elementary school. They were jealous or something. I don't know. I don't know what it was. My mom was always at the school. My mom was always bringing us treats, always helping set up for stuff. My mom, if I had something coming up, or if it was a Friday, boom, new outfit. You know, I always had I was really cute. My mom did not let me go to school looking a mess ever. And there was this girl, I won't say her name, but she had the same last name as me. And they really pitted us against each other, I think. I think me and her honestly could have been friends. Well, maybe, maybe not. She was kind of a brat, third grade. But also, this was the start of my panic attacks, too. So girls were kind of mean to me at school, and then I had a lot going on in my personal life, and so I just kind of shut down between third and fourth grade. I really kept to myself. Um, it was really weird. I had a lot of online friends. I would play Farmville on Facebook with my friends in third grade, like third, fourth grade. Obviously, adult supervision. My mom had my logins, we were safe. Um, but my little boyfriend that I got in sixth grade, I met him before sixth grade. Okay, and mine defends we dated from sixth grade until junior year of high school. Okay. He was my homie.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Um, this was that guy.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, it was that guy.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

You met him where but I met him through Facebook before middle school. We went to different elementary schools. Girl. Girl, I know, all my friends. That's how I met my friends. It was so weird. Um, yeah. So I feel like it was just easier for me to talk to people. I mean, I still had friends, I still communicated. Um, but it was there was definitely like a big change. That's when I started reading a lot. I would spend my recesses in the library, my lunch, my breaks. I was not hanging out with people in my class. That's how I met my boyfriend actually in school. Yeah, he um was sitting behind he was like a bad little kid, and he kept getting into trouble. So they would make him come and sit in my class, and he would pull my freaking pigtails and kick my feet from behind. He ended up being my friend, and now he's my boyfriend. Yeah, now he's my man. But yeah, I was really quiet, really to myself. Middle school, really quiet, really to myself. I relied a lot on my relationship in middle school, which sounds crazy. But all his friends became my friends, and then those were my friends, and then in high school, all his friends were my friends. And probably not until senior year when I met you in Sutsu. I like started making my own friends, and then I had a couple other friends. So yeah, I was kind of a late bloomer, but now I feel like having more girlfriends has helped me be a lot more outgoing and friendlier, and also just like having more confidence and I'm not shy to be me anymore. Good. Yeah. But that has a lot to do with self-esteem. I think it's really scary to make friends as an adult because rejection is really scary. What if I want to be a friend and you don't want to be my friend? I hate when I smile at a girl and then she's like, I know, it doesn't smile back. I'm like, don't do that. You're so pretty.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

It's one thing about girls that they're just if they're mean, they're mean. I'm like, why do you want to be friends with them anyways? That's usually how I feel. If I like uh yeah, I feel like if somebody ever doesn't want to be my friend or like I try being really nice to them or anything like that, or anything like that, and they're mean to me. If they don't smile back, or anything like that along the lines of that, I'm just like, eh, you're you're a bitch.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

I don't want to be over anyway. You're like, never mind. No, seriously, yeah, that is a good point because you do not want to be friends with a mean girl. No, no, ma'am. Or I know you're friends with people like this, because we've talked about this, but it's also really hard to be friends with a mean girl that's only nice to you.

unknown 12:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Because I'm like, girl, soften up. Please embarrassing me. No, but it's so funny because those girls are like, I also have you ever met a girl that comes off so mean and so rude, but it's just because she's very direct, she ends up being like the biggest sweetheart ever and the most giving person ever. I have met people like that, they're usually a little older because they're like they're just rough around the edges, but inside they're really, really soft. I really like people like that too. Cause I'm like, oh girl, I was wrong. I love being proven proven wrong. Yeah, but I think you do have to put yourself out there as an adult more than you had to just in our young adolescent lives. Adolescent. Um, and it's not easy, but I think I'm trying to think of like where you could meet friends. Well, I remember when I was doing the Pilates classes, I would just start complimenting people and they wouldn't be they'd want to be my friends, and then they follow me. Yeah, that's a good way. Um when we started the podcast, I would just tell every girl I walked by. I'm like, Do you like podcasts? Here you go. Here, scan this.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Um, I know how I make friends. I'm trying to think of a recent friend that I've made. She has her Lulu group, her aesthetic group, yeah, her school group, her chick group.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

Like one thing about home is where the paycheck is, huh?

SPEAKER_01 14:23

One thing about me is I'm not gonna be bored at work.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

I'm gonna know. You know how you would say, Um, I know Nikki's at work because she can't answer my call or she can't text me back. I never know if you're at work because you're always available to me. And I love that. I hope my boss don't hear that. No, guys, do not disturb always.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

I'm never on my phone at work. Never. I'm a studious, no, I'm a hardworking girl. My studio is too. Thank you. Um, that's a weird thank you. Thank you. Um, I feel like I just besides that though, I feel like I just try to make friends. Like when I go out and I'm a little tipsy, half of my followers come from oh my gosh, let's be friends. Oh my Instagram. I was in Vegas. I made 10 friends. And I was like, here, let's be friends. They all follow me. I am um and I usually don't get unfollowed. So they're interested. They like, yeah, they like your pics. Yeah, I hope they look listen to the pod. I hope so too.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

They could. I don't know why. Like, I'm the first thing I'm thinking of is like when you are when you were on your birthday, when you were like a little tipsy and that girl was throwing up in the bathroom. You're like, oh, you okay? You threw your trash in the bin that she was throwing up. Okay, so we went to go use the restroom and I'm washing my hands already. Celeste comes out and then she's about to wash her hands, and the girl runs in with her friends, and then she starts throwing up in the trash can. And I like, I can't do that. Not me. I had to look away, I had to dissociate for a second. So I give my trash to the lady that's there panning out. You know, there's like a lady in the bar or bathrooms always. And I looked at her and she's like, It's okay, you can give me the trash. And I was like, Okay, thanks. And you look at the girl and you're like, Oh, are you okay? Then you just threw your trash in there. He just smiled at the girls like sex with us, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

No, because what was wrong with me?

SPEAKER_00 16:29

No, you're just so friendly. You I'm sure you really were hoping she was okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Like, no, but I'm extra friendly when I have a couple of drinks with me.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Yeah. Yeah. You are. It's fun though. I like it. I think it's so fun. I like feed off that energy.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

I have more courage to go out and liquid courage. Liquid courage, yeah. As a kid though, I am trying to think if I was social. I don't know if I was. Really? I did have a lot of parties though. Like really? Yeah, like my sister would throw us like pool parties. I remember for sixth grade, my sister threw us a promotion party and all throughout middle school. My house was the place to go. We would go swimming and so not just for birthdays, other stuff too. Yeah, like we would always have to be around.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

I feel like I only had birthday parties.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

I'm like, who would go to my party? Like a family. Sure, I have pictures with Tiffany from like when we were really younger. Like a lot of people. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have pictures together. I have to go through my sister's Facebook. She's got everything on there. That's so funny. We would throw parties all the time. I remember one time we threw a party for my birthday, and this kid, this was in high school, this is like freshman, maybe sophomore year. We threw a party for a kid. No, no. I did though, I did throw two parties. I was very for other people. Yeah, and my sister, like, at the time, like much down. Yeah, I think it's because she had less kids and she was really involved with my friend group. So for my friend Monique, we threw her a birthday party, we threw her a going away party. We threw I'm pretty sure we did something for my old best friends at the time. They're gonna be like, oh my gosh. But my two guy best friends at the time, we threw parties for them too. Everybody was just really that was a really good friendship, like back when I was in high school and stuff. That's funny. Yeah, it was really fun. It was crazy thinking back now. But I'm pretty sure I was pretty social then. I don't know. I gotta ask my sister. Now I'm curious. Did I make friends with them? You're like, who was I? Because I feel like in high school, like I don't think you weren't as bubbly. I don't think it was bubbly.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

I feel like you were quiet. I remember how we met. Like we met because we were sitting next to each other. And I feel like we talked, but you weren't like, hey, I'm Celeste. It's like how you are now, you know? She's referring to my boy. Anyways, yeah, I made a new friend at work. Oh, yeah. And I love her. I also love her, and I don't know her. She really She's that girl. It's yeah, she really is that girl, and she's just so funny because she has sisters. She's an older sister, and she is mean. She's not mean. I shouldn't say that. And she is just really funny, but her humor is crazy. Um, no, yeah, she's really cute. She is really cute. I like her, but it was like so funny because she's one of those people that comes off very direct and comes off very to herself. So pretty that she's intimidating, you know. I don't even know how we started being friends.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

I know.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

But it's so fun when you you, it's like you crack a good joke and it's boom, that's my girl. If I'm clocking in and she's not there, I'm like, boom. I was like telling her, I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna start school. I think I need to step down a little, be pretty much or not work, and she's like, no, we're gonna make it work. Like, no, no, no. She's your work bestie. Yeah, cute, and I feel like I but also just even CNAs, I have made it a point to get to know almost everyone that I work with. Oh, where are you from? Especially nurses. I'm like, so where'd you go to school? Do you like working here? I like asking questions. Yeah, and I think I think I'm very helpful at work, so I think that has made me friends, but yeah, I didn't realize that I made such a mark on people until my dad was in the hospital and I was coming in my outside work and ever outside clothes, and everyone was like, Oh my gosh, hey, how are you? What are you here for? He's okay. And I was like, Oh, you recognize me?

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Yeah, it was cute. You're like, duh. Duh they recognize you. You're making an effort to speak to everybody and talk to everybody. Of course they recognize you.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Yeah. But I think I need to be like make it a point, like when I go out or travel and stuff, so introduce myself to people more.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

That I don't do.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

However, it is really hard. I feel like I've always actually thought that was pretty easy. And this time that we were in Mexico, I feel like I wanted to talk to people and just make friends. But I feel like you can kind of just tell when you when they don't want to be bothered. You know, you look so cool. I love your vibe, I love your look, I love whatever. I want to compliment you so badly, or whatever. But I feel like some people just really give off that vibe. And while everyone was in Mexico and they're all very friendly, I feel like we talked about that a lot. We do feel like they're very friendly. At the same time, I feel like they're friendly but don't want to be bothered. They have their group already, they have their person, they don't need anybody else.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I also feel put yourself in their shoes. It is even though you're cool, it is hard to travel in a different country and you don't want some rando coming up to you ever. Because you never know. Of course. Yeah. How do you think you keep a friend? That's a good question. I think you need to check yourself and make sure you're a good friend before you check your friends. That's what I think.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

I think I'd try like at least checking in, but I think this year especially, like, I really struggled with that. Like being a bigger friend. But with a couple friends, I feel like they've told me that they miss me so much and we don't really talk anymore, and that makes me sad. So I think I just need to be I need to not forget that I have so many friends because I do. Sometimes I think do people think that I'm a fake friend because I have so many friends?

SPEAKER_00 22:18

You do have a lot of friends. You need to write them down on a list. Well, I feel like I talk to everybody pretty often.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

They're all in my we all have groups, you know? But if we're not in a group, I feel like yes, I do need to write that down.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I agree, me too. I am um I am like your guys' best friend. Because like I am the best friend to you guys. I do sometimes feel like I may lack in other friendships. And that's something that I'm I've been working on this year. I've been like, no, like that is so inconsiderate and rude to not respond to someone for a couple days. No, like I was thinking about that literally yesterday. That is so unthoughtful.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

I text so many people, or so many texts come in, and then that text moves all the way to the bottom, and then I forget to like go and again.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

And like the truth is it's because they're not the priority. That's just like the hard truth. The hard truth is that everybody got a lot going on, and you're just like constant because you're always on your phone and you're always texting people back. I'm always on my phone, I'm always texting people back. And like for me to miss a certain text, it's because I'm like, oh, I'll just respond to it later. Yeah, sometimes it's like I really am busy and I'll read something and then I just forget. But for the most part, I'm like, I also don't feel like let me backtrack a little. I do feel like I don't respond to a lot of people, not just even you guys. Sometimes I think I'm not the best at getting back to people. My boyfriend says that too. Why aren't you responding? And I'm like, I'm just like busy, just call me, you know.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Just call me, no for real. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

If you really want to talk to me, just call me. Like, I'll I honestly will always answer. Yeah, I think I will too. Even if I'm like, hey, I can't talk right now. Bye. Yeah, same. Because I just like the fact that you took the time to call me and like, thank you, love you. Yeah, what's the prob sometimes? So I think like just learn your friends and learn like their preferred communication styles.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Yes, I think that's so big. Like when I tell you that, like that one time that my friend texted me and she was like, I just feel like we never talk anymore, and this is happening, you haven't seen me this entire time. Like great communication on her part. Such great communication. When she said that, I was like, ah, fuck. You know, because that's someone I love in such a sweet way. Yeah, and that's someone I love, and you know, as much as like I want to blame it on like being busy or like whatever, you know, like you're never too busy. Exactly. So I made sure to drive out to see her and like I try to like text her more often. She's just she's just really busy, she's a bit she's a she's got a big change in her life. So I have to just be patient with her.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

But I think also with adult friendships, it really is a two-way street on everything. And we've touched on this before where it's not always gonna be 50-50, it's not always gonna be like 80, 20, 30, freaking 70, you know. I just think that a friendship really goes both ways, and I think you need to make sure that it's not always the other person making the invitations that you're also making invitations to things. Um, I think that it's important that it's like yeah, you have friends that are like constantly. I had a friend who constantly was calling me and it was like really sweet. I always answered, but then I kind of realized I should probably call them first sometimes too. It probably would make them feel good, like for me to do it first. Even though I I they never seem to mind the fact that they were always calling me first, but I kind of realized it one day I should probably start doing that too, or texting too. Sometimes I sit there and I'm like, this person never texts me first. But then it's also like you don't want to keep score with your friends, yeah, you know? You don't want to do that. I just think it's healthy every once in a while to just reflect on the friendship and just say, hmm, everything going good. Yeah, if everything's not going good, kind of think about why before you like go at your friend, like, yeah, why aren't you doing this, this, and this? That's just like we're adults, you know?

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Like I agree. Sometimes we forget and we forget to just like we forget that we're not kids anymore. Yeah, we don't we even as kids you shouldn't be talking to your people like that.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

But we got big responsibilities.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, and it's not the time to be talking to your friends like that. Ever. Wait, now that I'm like really thinking about it, I'm like, I really do hope because I feel like a friend to all is a friend to none.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

No, Celeste, I think about that all the time, and I've wanted to say that before on the podcast, but I never wanted you to feel attacked.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Oh, well, I don't think I'm a friend to everybody.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

I'm not a friend to all. Yeah, I think that's it. Especially this year. I think you've really set boundaries with people.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah. I think I have too.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

But with the quote, a friend to all is a friend to none, how do you think like how do you think that you relate to it?

SPEAKER_01 27:26

I think I relate to it, and I also think I do a really good job. I think I relate to it in ways of if somebody does my if somebody does my friends dirty, I do not mess with that.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Yeah, I'm not feeling like that too.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Yeah, it's no, you did my friends wrong. You did one of my good friends wrong. I don't I don't do that well with that. And it really sucks if you have a good friendship with that person, but at the same time, it's if they did if they're this way with this person or this way, act this way with that person, treat this person this way, they're they're capable of doing that to you. Yeah. And I totally understand that some things are very situational and you don't always know what happened. But if you're my friend, you know what happened and you're like in the loop about everything. So, especially me, I feel like you know what happened with that person, you know why we fell off, you know that they were weird, they moved different, you know exactly why. So I think when situations like that happen where I'm not friends with the person and they are like I don't feel as in tune with that person anymore. That actually happened to me this year.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Ooh. Mm-hmm. No, that is really I do not like that at all. But also, a friend to all is a friend to none. I also think being friends with someone who is terrible to everyone else doesn't make you a good friend. That I feel like I relate more to the quote that it's like you are who you're friends with.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

And I really struggle with that because I feel like I am so different. I am so I have found my people, but for a really long time I did not. And I would I really struggled with that quote because I'd be like, but they're my friends, but they're like so different than me. But then it's well girl, maybe that's why those friendships didn't last. Because you really were different. And I mean by that is different, like you have a different moral compass, different values, um, different like family orientations. I don't know, just like very, very different internally, and not just like personality traits. Yeah, whatever. Like everyone can have different personality traits. But I was friends with people who like they were doing some bad stuff. They were my friends, we laughed together, you know? And my mom would say, Your friends are a reflection of you. You need to choose your friends very carefully. And I'd be like, Mom, I'm still my own person. Like, I would say that too.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

I'd be like, mom, that does that doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

But my friends were like thudurbops, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Like, what's a butrobop?

SPEAKER_00 30:00

A thudurbop? Oh, a thuder bop. Like a young hoe. Like a thudorbop. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

I've never heard that term. Like a bop.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

You've never heard what a thudubop is? Never. I love saying thudubop. I've never heard you say it.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

I don't, because I don't really need to call women that. But I was surprised with a couple of girls like that. Yeah, I yeah, I do not like to call girls. You know that quote, I support women's rights and women's wrongs. Unfortunately, like I do. I'm like, yeah, obviously. Hold on, side note. Let me go on a little tangent. It's always a man at the root of every woman's problem. I swear to God. So yeah, I never blame the woman. Unless she sleeps with her friend's boyfriend.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Does something really crazy?

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Yeah, then does something really betrayal and really crazy. Then I'm like, oh, she's a bad girl. I gotta judge her.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

I gotta judge her.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Yeah. But I really, really try not to judge women. Anyways, back to my piece on you are who you are friends with. I think that's really hard to stick to that when you're adults, because you're like, you don't align with anything that I believe in. And you don't make me a better me.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

That is really hard as an adult.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Um I think like when it comes to that though, like when I think for me at least, I think it's really important to just check them. Yeah. Especially if they're saying some outlandish type of thing. But it's really easy to figure that out. Once you really start feeling it in your heart, we don't belong as friends. Like you're gonna just feel it and you just have to go with it.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

That's how I feel about it. I think as an adult, you need to be friends who celebrate your wins and cry your losses with you. And I think that you need to find friends that build you up and lead you to a right place because I think we're in a crucial. I don't want to dismiss any stage of life because I honestly think every stage of life is so crucial to prepare you for the next stage. But right now in our 20s, this is when we're creating our lifelong relationships, this is when we're creating our families, when we are starting careers, when we're like really laying down our roots and our foundations for the rest of our lives. And so I think that who you are front with in this phase is so important because you can really go through some really, really, really hard times. And if your friends don't check you, or if they don't build you up or keep you on a good path or support you, I think it can really be detrimental. Yeah, I agree. To your life. It's pretty crazy. That's what I think. That's basically my gist on friendships in adulthood. I think check yourself before you check your friends. I think you need to be self-aware, but also read the room that you are in with your friends. Okay, we haven't hung out in a really long time, then it's a little bit she has this going on and this going on and this going on, and yeah, she needs to find a balance and she needs to make time for the people who are important, but it's also like compassion and empathy can go a really long way in adult friendships, I think. So yeah, that's my little two cents. That's my little two cents. If you could build your dream friend group, what would what would it look like? I have it. Oh so cute! That was like no hesitation.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

I have all my friends in my crap. Um, they're all my dream friendships. I feel like I have we can go out, we can go stay home, we can sit by the pool, we can literally do nothing, we can hang out with my family, we can hang out with literally whoever. We can go on trips, we can literally do whatever. What more could you ask for? Me yeah. Me too. I feel like it's so big when at least for me, it's so big when I'm able to bring my friends around my family. I am such a big family girl, and I love to be around my nieces, my nephews. Last night it was so much fun with my family, and I know that if my friends could come and just spend time, I know they would do it. They weren't busy and they would just come and have a good time and like that's just so important to me. And I feel like I can do that with all of my friends. So I feel like I win. That was good. You do win. We win. I love it. That's good. What are you so seriously serious about?

SPEAKER_00 35:08

I am so seriously serious about being on time or being early.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

You know what? I have never been that bad about that. I don't feel like it. At least. I don't think I've been bad about it. But lately, within the last like month or two, I've been so bad to things. I'll show up late. I'm just like not planning accordingly.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Yeah, I agree. With me. No, I don't know if I really okay. Here's the thing. I I feel like I'm really chill on start times. It has to be something like an appointment or a reservation, or guys, I cook dinner and it's already hot. You need to get here right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

I feel like I'm really chill. If you're five, ten, fifteen minutes late. I don't really care. You know, as long as you're like in the reasonable time frame, which I feel like since I'm like that, I expect people to be chill with me about that too. But the truth is they don't have to be like they said to be there at four, you agreed to be there at four, so be there at four.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

So I need to work on that. It doesn't bother me when you're like five, ten minutes, you know, late. Okay, nice. I it doesn't bother me at all. When you're pushing 30, 40, hey girl, be considered.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

So like I'll go, I'll always say I'm off at six, but like I'm off at this time, but I just have to go home. It's with the show. Yeah, I don't know what time I'm gonna get there. I'm I never make this like definite plan, but it's always okay, I'll try to be there at this time. And I feel like that's where I mess up by telling people, like, okay, I'll try to be there at that time.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

And it's like, Yeah, you need to like add an hour to it or something. I got too much going on to just pull up right after. Yeah, same. But I feel like I need to be, I've been a lot better with work. I was starting to slip a little and get there right on the dot. And I'm like five minutes early. I mean, I'm not any earlier than they let you clock in. They only let you clock in seven minutes early. I don't need to be there any earlier than that. That is ridiculous. But I also shouldn't be there right on the dot or like a minute late, you know? It's just like irresponsible and it's not a good habit to have. But now, like, even with my family and stuff, I'm like, okay, let's go to breakfast, let's leave at 10. And then it's like 10:30, and then we're like, oh, let's go. I'm like, no, we should have left at 10. And that's partly my fault. So I'm so seriously serious about making an effort to be on time. I think the worst person I am is with my boyfriend. If you're listening, I'm so sorry. I do not take your time for granted. And I that's what it comes off, though. It's like well, I feel the same way. Like with men specifically, I feel like I'm just like, eh. Yeah, but I get there. Exactly. But it's also like it's their time too. We shouldn't abuse their time. I agree. Especially men who work so hard and take the time to have the night off to like because that's how it is with my boyfriend. Like it really is like such an effort. So I'm gonna be better about that. I absolutely need to be better about that. So that is what I'm so seriously serious about today and moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

What are you so seriously serious about today?

SPEAKER_01 38:17

I think I'm actually really serious about this episode, and I think that's something that really spoke out to me was being friends with people who are friends for you and with you, and not just friends with everybody and anybody. I'm really passionate, and I feel like now that I'm thinking back, I'm like, I got a lot of friendships that I may have to not reconsider, obviously, but be more aware of or self-aware of. Because if you're friends with the person who did me wrong or a person who was just mean to me, whatever the case is, and you're still deciding to have such a good close relationship with them, I think that's not something I want to really sit around and be there for. Because I think that's messed up. I wouldn't do that to you, you know?

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

That's what I'm seriously serious about today. I think you really have to be the friend that you want to be for yourself and to your friends. You just have to show up in the best way possible. And so sometimes you do have to make hard decisions and you do have to pick which one's a better friend. Oh, it's Nikki. You know what I mean? Always. So it's like, why am I gonna sit here and be friends with somebody who was like I saw this girl being mean to you? Like, why am I gonna put up with that? Yeah. I have to stand by you too, you know? Yeah. That's my two cents today. I'm actually really serious about that, and I think you all should be too, because you never know how that can make your friends feel, especially when your friends are like really writing for you or just like new friends quickly showing up to all your plans, going out, going all out for your birthday, going this, you know, going on trips with you, blah blah blah, whatever. They're doing that stuff for a reason. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

No, I actually have a friend that just told me that recently. She basically told me I I guess she had kind of been going through something similar in her personal life that I didn't I knew about it, but I didn't know too much about it. And she was saying, I've realized like how important loyalty is to me this year, and I've realized like how important it is to support your friends when they're in a vulnerable state. And so she told me, she asked me how I felt about a certain situation and was like, I'm gonna ride for you, you know, and I'm gonna be the most loyal to you because you have always shown me how loyal you are to me. And I was just like, Oh being a good friend will really get you places, being a good friend will give you really good friends, basically. And I think that's really full circle, and that's not easy all the time, you know. But I think it is really important, and I think that I think it's important for men to have friends too, and I think it's important for women to have friends. We are seriously just girls though, so we focus a lot on the womanhood of this, but I think this goes for everybody. I think everyone just needs to be a friend, you know, just needs to be kind and understanding and empathetic and compassionate. Um with balance though, don't get don't get abused or walked all over. Yeah. That's not fun either. It is really tough. No, it is tough because it's really sad, but you don't know people's hearts. You don't really know if they have the best intentions. Like only time will tell and life experiences will tell.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

And yeah, that's uh that's what we think about adult friendships. I think it's also so much fun to adult with your friends. Like being able to go on a trip, just us two, like that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

That or just like doing big things. Like, I feel like a lot of this year, like we've done so many big adult things. Like Hailey's getting married. We like when to go see her get her dress, you know, like so many little things. That's not my only friendship, but there's many other big achievements. But that's the one that stands out to me the most.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

Your friend who graduated law school, your friend had a baby, like no, that is so crazy. My friends who have babies, I'm like being able to see a close friend of mine become a mom.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

It's the coolest thing ever.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

It's really you just brought life into this world.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

You wait, that's my coolest friend. My friend specifically, she's so funny, but like the people she surrounds herself with are really funny. Really? They're so funny. And so she made a story the other day, and it's like of her little cousins. I think it's her cousins, or like they might be similar in age, but you know that googly eye Snapchat filter? Yeah, you were going around putting it on everybody, and then they went around and put it on the baby, and it was just so funny.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

No, that is so funny. Um be friends with people who make you laugh. Laughing is healing, like it really is so much fun. But yeah. And you guys do have a friend in us, okay? Always. You let us know if you need anything, and we will try our best. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Because we're seriously just girls together. And we are friends to all, but if people do you wrong, we won't be friends with them.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Yeah, so just let us know. Let us know your tea. Give us some evidence, all right? Don't make us look crazy. But if there's someone you don't want us to be friends with, just let us know. We're logical. We're logical sometimes. Okay, anyways, I'm Nikki. I'm Celeste. We're seriously just girls.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

And we had so much fun talking this week. We can't wait till next week. Bye. Bye.