Seriously... Lets Get Over It

Do Celeste and Nikky think "getting closure" is overrated? Absolutely. 

The girls discuss all the different ways they interpret closure and what it really takes to get true closure from a hurtful situation. Wether it be a back stabbing friend, toxic situationships or a relationship that went side ways find out how the girls recommend to get over it. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hello. Hello. Misty Besty, how you been? I've been great. I'm that good day. Hallelujah. Recording with you. Hallelujah. I'm so hungry, but I know that we're able to get a meal today. Hallelujah. I have to eat today. Yeah. Has that been a problem? I'm going to the wineries. Oh yeah, baby. We gotta get you some food. I need to make sure I'm well fed. We need to get you some starches. Yeah. What else are you doing today? No, I want to talk about you first. Okay. I didn't ask how you were doing today. Oh, I'm doing great. Yeah. Yeah, I've honestly I slept so well. I feel like I just I say this, I said this last episode too, but I've just been so tired lately. So I just feel a little well rested right now, and I'm happy to be feeling that way. That is so good. I'm going to the wineries today with my girlfriends. I know. And then after that, I'm going to a family party because a bunch of my nephews are graduating school. Oh, that's so cute. It's really it's it's graduation season, huh? Yeah, it's graduation season. So that's okay. A lot of my cousins are graduating high school. So, long story short, I changed my phone number back in February. I forgot to give it to my Nina and like my cousins and my family members. So they're inviting you to stop. Like, yeah, I probably Where's the invite? I'm always curious about that. I wonder who's been texting me off that phone because unless you follow me on Instagram or I mean, even then though, some people would hit me up and be like, girl, I've been trying to text you and I can't get a hold of you. And I'd be like, Oh, I changed my number in my bath. Damn, here it is. So I wasn't gonna go to this family party because I didn't know about it. And my sister brought it up to me and I was like, bruh, you're so fake. You could have easily taken out the old number, added the new one. Like, why would I not want my family members to have my phone number? I was just going through a rough time, but I'm back and I'm good. Had nothing to do with my family, so I was like, that's crazy of you. We're gonna do that tonight after the wineries. I mean, I'm pretty sure I was gonna be turned at my family party, but are you gonna be turned, sorry? Extra turnt. But I don't have to drive to anything today, so that's great. Oh, I love that. Are you going to the wineries again to Mechula? Mm-hmm. Love it there. It's so cute. I love it there. I think the weather's gonna be really good today, too. Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be kind of windy, kinda chilly, I think. Yeah, it's supposed to cool down a little. Yeah, so we'll see. But regardless, I'm gonna have a good time. Then tomorrow, I'm going to the beach. Oh my gosh, how fun. What beach do you know? I gave the man options so he can pick. Cute. But I'm really excited. Do we have to be? Yeah, I love the beach. Let's go to the beach. Beach, let's go get away. They say what they're gonna say. I'm trying, trink, drink, but that man is actually going to my family party tonight. Oh.

unknown 2:54

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

Pretty crazy, huh? No, it's not that crazy. Don't let it be crazy. You're right. It's not crazy. It's really not that crazy. It's just your friend tagging along. No, obviously he's a special friend, you know, cute. But that's that's the way I saw it. And don't be shy, but that's my boyfriend. Me and him were talking for a long time before he became my boyfriend, like six months. I feel like in this day and age, that is a long time. Yeah. And small. Yeah. And I had no problem. I was never shy or embarrassed to be like, this is my friend, so and so. I mean, obviously, they know he's a little more than a friend if I got him here. But yeah, like it's just fun, you know, it's just it's a nice way to get to know them in a different light. Yeah, I agree. I think it'll be really fun. I think it'll be super fun too. Really excited. I also like just like you, he can talk to the wall, you know. No, for real. He can, yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, but it'll be really fun. I'm really excited to see my cousins. I haven't seen my cousin's fiance in a minute go busy, but I'm really excited to see her. Um, and she's like my one, like whenever if I if she's gonna be there, I know I'm gonna have a good time. I know I'm gonna get quite quitter. That's like me with Jackie. Yeah. Oh, Jackie. I know it's gonna be a good time. Um, I would totally be there at the soccer games if I didn't have such a busy weekend. Yeah, just clearly.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

I clearly do hear her.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Yeah, because I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

She has this and that, this and that.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

It was so cute though that she was like, in my saline. I know. I was so honored. I thought that was so sweet. I would totally be there.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

But she doesn't want to. I'm just kidding. No, she's a busy girl. You have to like ask her a week in advance.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

But I'll be there next time. Slay. Send me the schedule. That's what I always tell her. I'm like, send me the schedule. But she just lets me know, like, when there's a game in Norco or to Mekula area, then I'll go. Nice. What do you have going on this weekend? Um, well, I'm gonna go to my little niece's talk three game. And then I think after Poppy, do the brunch at my house, and then I feel like I could stop there on my way back and eat. Pull up with all your friends. Hey, chillaquiless. Ah, you're making chillaquiless. No, I don't know what we're making. Oh thank God. Don't get out of yourself. Like, don't tell me you're making chilaky less. Or you said we're making the spread. I'll see a picture of the spread. Yeah, I'll send you a pic. Um, but yeah, we're gonna have a little brunch and then I have plans in the afternoon. I just can't remember what they are. It's with my family and my boyfriend. I think we're gonna go out to dinner. And then tomorrow we're gonna go see. What am I doing? How do you not know what you're doing? It's not on your calendar. Uh no, this weekend's not because I don't work. I just know that I have the game and I'm just gonna spend time with my family. Tomorrow I really, really want a scrapbook. I have been wanting to scrap book for weeks now, and I just have not had the time. Yeah. So I think tomorrow I'm gonna scrapbook, and my family and I and my boyfriend are gonna go see the sheep detective movie. Oh, I didn't even know that was a thing. Yeah, it's so cute. It's like this guy who is like a sheep handler and he reads murder mysteries to his sheep before they go to bed. And then he dies, and they're like, he's not just dead, he was murdered. So then the sheep are trying to solve his mystery. It looks so cute. So we're gonna watch that. Basically, guys, I let me give you guys some insight. I'm at the point in my relationship where I think there is a lot more blending that is happening and a lot more like my boyfriend's always been involved in my life and my family events and my family parties, but now it's are you gonna be a part of the intimate moments too? Of us just like having dinner and like having family time. So it's really cool. No, it actually makes up it actually makes me really, really happy and gives me a lot of um like security and happiness. So yeah. That's really good. I'm happy you're at this stage of your relationship. Thank you. Can only go up from here. Period. Yeah, so just like a wholesome weekend, honestly. I mean, last week we went to Vegas and this week, who knows what I'll do? Who knows? Oh, I'm going to Boston. Oh my gosh, I'm so jealous. I've been wanting to go to Boston for years. I told my friends that because they were trying to go, okay. So when we were in Mexico, my my loyal friend, he had Memorial Day off. And then my other friends were like, Well, we're down to go somewhere for Memorial Day. Celeste, where are we going? And I was like, I can't that weekend because I'm gonna be in Mexico City. You're like, don't go anywhere. That's what I told them, and they were like, No, Celeste, I have the day off. I have the whole weekend off. I have to be, I have to go somewhere. I was like, Alright, fuck, whatever. Go anywhere but Boston or um Chicago. Like, those are the two places that like I've been dying to go to, and I told them those are absolutely off limits. Absolutely off limits. That's so funny. Like, here are the rules. Yeah, I was like, you guys can't go there, can't go there. So they planned this whole trip to Seattle. I don't know if they went or not. I have to ask them. How do you not know? Do they not post? Those are the three friends that I don't share locations with. I because now they're now two of them are there right now, but the other one didn't go. I don't know. Whatever. That don't really make sense. But basically, those are my three friends that I don't share locations with, so I don't really keep up with them on that level. I have to wait till they post and stuff. But um, yeah, I told them that they weren't allowed to go. Where was I going with this though? Um, that I'm going to Boston. You're really excited about that. I'm really excited that you're going to Boston. I wish I was going to Boston. And too, what, two episodes ago? You're like, I think I could live in Boston. I'm like, you've never been, babe, but okay. No, I okay, I do not want to be like that because it is such a blessing to be able to visit someone new, somewhere new. But it's gonna be raining every day. Every day, and we're supposed to go on a sailboat and like a lot of our activities are outdoors. So like it's not good. That's what it's about Mexico. I know. And it's I think it's gonna rain every day, but it doesn't mean it'll rain all day. So I'm just gonna take my umbrella and wish for the best. But I'm like, uh, I hope we see some sun. I think it'll be really fun. I love traveling with my partner. Cause I just I just turned it off. I made the itinerary, I sent it to him, and he takes it from here. Beautiful. I love it. That's that's pretty much the gist of my plans. I work so much leading up to the trip, but that's okay. I work like the next five days, but damn. Yeah, and I think Monday through Friday? Monday through Thursday. So the next four days. But it's a it's more than that because I'm gonna do 12s. So it's like But no, it'll be so much fun. That's pretty much what I got going on. I'm so excited to see that movie. What does closure mean to you? Is it real? Let's start there. Is it real? I think it can be. Okay, okay, so let's define it. But I don't think it's real. Oh, it can be, but I don't think it's real. So a lot of time people want to tell you what is gonna make them look good, and it's not really for your convenience. Like closure is specifically for that person. Like, yeah, if it's between me and you and you're the one who doesn't want to be my friend, the closure is specifically for me because you know why you don't want to be my friend. I don't know why you don't want to be my friend. I'd love to know, but it's like closure is for selfish people, yeah. No, I don't think it's for selfish people, I think it's for people who really cared. You know what I mean? I don't think it was like I need to know why you don't want to be my friend. I just feel like it's more of like, well, why not? What happened? type of thing. Closure is really just honesty about the friendship or the situation or what happened. I think it's just accepting a new reality of things. Yeah, I think it's a mix of that. You still have to understand that too. But I think what comes before that is always gonna be like the thoughts of like, why not? Why this? Yeah. Of course, yeah, of course. We're always gonna wonder about things, and I think that's human nature. I personally don't feel like I've ever gotten that big last conversation or explanation. I have actually, actually, let me let me take that back. I have gotten that, and it was like all for that person. It did not serve me at all, at all, you know, and I'm like, uh, I'm leaving this conversation more confused than it began. But it is what it is, and so I think closure is just you have to define what it is on your own. For me, closure is accepting a new reality and just moving the F on. That's what I think. Moving the F on, moving the F on, like just and here's the thing, here's the thing, because I have a friend who is really big on closures. I just want to know why, I wanna know why, I wanna know why. And I think that if you continuously chase that and if you give the other person power to want the why and want an explanation, let's say, let's say me and you aren't friends, and I'm like, I just wanna know why. I wanna know why you're not friends with me. I wanna know that's giving you all the power, yeah, for sure. And it's if you continuously give someone the power, you're always gonna lose. You're always gonna be unfulfilled, unsettled, uneasy, unhappy. And I think that it is such a mistake to communicate that you want closure first. Secondly, I think that sometimes the hard truth is like you're just you're gonna get over it. You have to want to get over it though. Yeah, and that's your closure. Just getting over with it. It's gonna take time and effort, but y'all get there eventually, eventually, but you will after everything happens, after you humiliate yourself, after you literally you can even beg somebody, like there is so much that happens before you get to that point, but you will get there, and you will get there. It's really not about how you get there as long as you get there, period. Do you think that blocking someone equals closure, or do you think that that's just being an avoidant? I've thought about this. Really? Yeah, because I definitely have lots of people blocked. Me. I love thank you for the block button. Yeah, that's a good button. I do think though that they're still in there, like they're in that block list. So it's kind of like uh it's like a gray area, huh? Yeah, it's like limbo. Yeah, I don't think that I blocked you because I'm an avoidant. I think it's because I don't want to see you anymore, and that does put you off on it to a certain extent. Like, but there is that gray area. But I don't know. The more I think about it, I'm like, do I really need to have you blogged? If I'm really over it, why do I need to have you blocked? Yeah, I'm like really kind of thinking about this right now. I'm like, am I low-key wrong? Yeah. Like, am I really should I not be proud that I have so many people blocked? For real. I'm like, do I need to go unblog people? Because the more that I think about it, it's like maybe I shouldn't block you. I don't care. I'm good. You know? Yeah, no, I agree. My thing is I'm very big on just closing the door and locking it, and then putting a dev bolt on it, and then locking that, and then putting a couple nails and never opening that door again. I am very good at that. It obviously I'm trying not to do that as lightly as I used to do it. But with that comes with blocking. Like, why do I want to give you access to talk to me at all? I'm over it, I'm done. I don't even want you to think of wanting closure from me or think about wanting another conversation with me. No, our last conversation was the last conversation me and you will ever, ever, ever have. But I think that there might be some people that are blocked that it's I'm so over it, and it was not the situation was not that bad where it's like I have to go to that extent. It does make sense, but I don't know. It's just hard, but I think if they're blocked, leave them blocked. Yeah, I'm not gonna go and like unblock. But eventually one day it's like, what does it do for me anymore? You know, who cares? type of thing. I don't know how accurate or how much that'll change in the unforeseenable future. Yeah, and when I say block, I don't mean on Instagram, I have numbers blocked. Oh I also have numbers blocked. iClouds blocked. Wait, no, I actually have numbers blocked too. Yeah. My ex-boyfriend, he's blocked. He doesn't even have my new number, but I was like, if he ever gets it, yeah, that's how that's how I am with my ex-boyfriend. I don't feel like I'm reaching out to me. They don't have my number, they are blocked. They are You're gonna have to email me probably to get a hold of me. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you never got closure or like the typical definition of closure? Yeah. So many times. Really? Mm-hmm. What'd you do? Like, how'd you deal with that? Well, you know, my biggest thing is that fucking breakup. Yeah. I did not any I didn't get any closure from it. Sometimes I still think about it and I'm like, that really sucked. Yeah. And I'd love to really rude. Yeah, that was really mean of you. And I'd love to know what was going on in your head. But I think I don't need it to like get over it. Like I think, I think a lot of the time when people say closure is within the actions, like closure really is within the action. Like as much as I would but I'm just that kind of person. Like I just love to know what people are thinking. Like, even like when people meet me, let's say my crush right now, like I'm just like, oh, what did you think about when you first met me? You know, like I just like to know that. That is just like my favorite thing. But as far as like closure with people who have done me dirty, it really is just within the actions. It's like, yeah. I know you think you're a terrible person. What else do I need to know about it? Like, you know, you fucked up, you know you did me dirty, you know you were a mean guy, you know you were a mean girl. Yep, yeah, more do I need. I agree. Accept like narcissistic people who don't think they do anything wrong. It's really hard for you to like accept that. Yeah. That one is really, really hard. But I also think that once you get to a point where you're just like, I know that no matter what I say, you will never recognize your wrongs. It's like you have to let it go, or you will go crazy. That's how I feel about one of my exes. Like, I'm just like, you don't even have the capability to be self-aware. Like, you don't even have the emotional maturity to understand the effect that you have on people. That's deep. Yeah, it's true. And I like I don't feel bad for them, but I just know that they're not even capable of it. So it's like, how can I expect them to give me anything? So yeah, I think that you can try all you want with some people, but they will never look. People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves. That is such a true, true, true statement. You gotta do the work on your own because if you guys could do the work together, you probably, if it's your family member, you guys probably would still be talking. If it's your friend, you guys would still be friends. If it's your relationship, you would still be in a relationship. Clearly, you guys can't work things out. So you gotta do the work on your own. Closure is a self-discovery, yeah, a self-journey on your own by yourself. Mike job. I'm really sp in wisdom. Do you ever think closure is necessary, like for certain situations? No, I mean it might be necessary for the person, but like you always guarantee that. So how is it really necessary if it's not something you're ever gonna get? I just love to know what people think. I think that's what it is. I love to know what was going on what was going on if I've ever fucked up, I'm thinking to myself, what was I thinking? Like what genuinely was going through my mind where I'm like, what would make me think that's okay to do it to somebody? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Yeah, I haven't done anything crazy. Yeah. So I can't I haven't as of a debate.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

I can't imagine sitting there and being like and someone else's shoes. Damn, I treated this person this way. I just can't imagine how they would feel. I don't think I've ever treated somebody terrible. I don't think anyone can say that about me. That I was malicious or mean or abusive or anything like that. You could try, but you'd be wrong. Um yeah, exactly. Nobody could really say that. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. I don't think I don't think that um for me. Mm-hmm. It's necessary. It's necessary. I think that because they're living with it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

I think a different perspective on that though is I think you have to give yourself closure though. I think you have to like accept I think like for your own sanity, I think you have to give yourself closure. But I think you're right. I think it's probably never really necessary to expect that from someone else. I will say the only thing that I think is like family, but it's because I'm so like family is everything. But you know what? I do have extended family that I'm like, I know where I stand with you. You live your life, and I'ma live my life, and it is what it is. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess maybe not necessary. It'd be nice. Wouldn't it be nice?

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Wouldn't it be nice?

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Wouldn't it be fantastic? Do you think anyone's ever chased you for closure? Why'd you do this? Why'd you leave? Why'd you stop talking to me? I don't think so. I think I've been chased for closure. So am I like the bad guy because I didn't give it? Well, would you have wanted it? World reverse. I'm very like how you said earlier, like the answer is in the actions, you know? Like, I if you if we're getting here's my thing like if you are getting to a point with someone that it's like it is not working, you cannot be in their life, they cannot be in your life, what words is gonna make that okay? What words is gonna cover that up or make me feel better? And I think the person who wanted Closure for me wasn't like worth me going back in my healing journey. Does that make sense? I had already worked so hard on certain things, and I had already been beaten down so bad by this person. Yes. And by the time that they were like, So what happened? I was like, uh, I don't want to go back. I don't wanna because I just even when I think about things and I can talk about it so lightly, there is a part of my body that hurts still, like when I talk about certain things, and there is a part of my heart that feels it and I can ignore it, you know. But as the day goes on, I will still feel it. And so when this person just wanted to know why, I did try to tell them why. You know, I when I ended things, it's about my ex when I ended things with him. There had been multiple times leading up to that where we had had a conversation, so by the time it was like the final day, I was like, No, we're not gonna talk about this. He was also like not receiving anything that I was saying, it's a really long story, but I feel like for days, for weeks, he chased closure out of me, and I think there was selfishly, there was nothing more I wanted to give him. I had already given him so much. I think that makes sense. Yeah, maybe that makes me a bitch. And that's okay. I do think maybe roles reverse, and maybe he had realized I don't know which X this is. I don't need to know. Maybe it'll change my perspective, but I do think that maybe once things become official or that realization really hits, then it really is just damn I fucked up, and now I just I want to know more from her. Yeah, it's not always for the best. Have you ever been in a breakup and it's like you're expressing all your needs and your wants, and you're like at the point where you're just like, I don't even want this from you anymore. I don't even want this, and this is when they want to do a big change, like when they're like, No, no, no, I'm gonna be different, I'm gonna do this, this, and this. It never lasts, it never lasts, like yeah, because that's not who they are. You're over here, like, you've never been in that, but I think I was in that. I think with this last boyfriend specifically, I think I did, but there was a point where I was like, I'm pretty sure we broke up one time because I was like, I don't want to do this no more. But I was like, Ik, JK. Yeah, I was like, JK, like I can't let this go. You know, that was that was my mindset on it, and then I'm pretty sure I was like, this just isn't, I'm not happy, we're not doing what we can do anymore. But yes, then it's good for two weeks, yeah, and then it just goes right back because that's the homework. Yeah, so that's what I that's how I think. I'm like, dude, it's not even worth this battle. Yeah, I think closure is a myth. The typical definition of closure, like one last conversation, one last hug, one last kiss. That's not a thing. That is just keeping the door open. Yeah, and I think it's a little immature. Yeah. Hot take. I used to want to be like that and be like, no, no, no, we have to see each other one last time. We have to this, we have to do that. Yeah. For fucking what? It is done. Yeah, sometimes the best thing that you can say is it is what it is, it is what it is, and it's time to move on. This is my new reality, and it's not what I want. It's really not that fun, but it'll be an It'll be okay. Yeah, it'll be okay. Your new reality will come around, and you're literally gonna be so happy and you're gonna be like, holy shit, like I would have never been able to do this shit had I been with this person or whatever. Sometimes I think closure comes with time too. A lot of time, but time. Yeah. I mean, I Especially with friendships for me. Uh-huh. I feel like it's definitely taken a lot out of me to not want to reach out to somebody and be like, what have that explanation? Yeah. But I will say that with time, a lot of things just kind of like I feel like God kind of just I feel like over time, God really just instills it into your brain that you don't need it from that person, or He kind of like opens your eyes and like explains things or gives you new perspectives on things, yeah. Tries to get you to understand things in a way so that you don't need that closure anymore. You don't think about it or you don't wonder why anymore because it's like God kind of already told me why. If that makes sense. That's beautiful. Oh, thanks. No, I think that is very true though. I think time with time, like you mend yourself, and I think also like experiences just I think a big reason for you why you wonder so much is because like you're just not capable of that type of behavior. And I think like it's hard for you to understand because you're like, I would never have done this to you. I would have never treated you this way. And that goes with a lot of like friendships, relationships, family members. I think like you're just so like, how did you even how did you even get to that point of doing that to me? You know what I mean? Like that that would be okay, exactly. And and you know what? Like, good on you that you can't even understand that because one day that will be so amazing for you. Your kids are gonna really love that one day that you could never do that to someone, you know what I mean? You'll see. But I feel like we're all like that. Like, I feel like my the people that I'm close to, like I think the reason why I don't wonder is because like I just stop caring. Yeah, I think I unfortunately I don't think I could ever stop caring about certain people, yeah, but like it really has to take a lot for me to get to that point. Yeah, it doesn't take much for me. That's just the truth. It doesn't. Three wrong moves. Bye. Three wrong moves. Yeah, you get three strikes. Have you ever reached back out to someone just for closure, looking back? Were you actually seeking closure, hoping for a different outcome? No, every single time it's hoping for outcome, it's hoping for a different outcome every single time. Um that's why too. It's if what what do you really want closure for? There's not you want closure because you want things to work out. It's not because you're sitting here and you're like, uh. Yeah. You know, because when you really don't care about a situation, it's like whatever, it is what it is. Yeah, yeah. That's what I think. And that's what I think with him. Like when he wanted closure from me, dude, we're not like we're not gonna work this out. Too much has happened. This is not gonna go anywhere, anywhere but the end, like anywhere but the finish line. Anywhere it would have happened a little while ago. Like it wouldn't have just happened right now. Exactly. So that's why I was like, no, we're not gonna have one last conversation, we're not gonna have one last talk. You know what's crazy? This is just coming back to me. This is so crazy. So I really do want to do an episode on the last relationship that I was in because there is just so, and not even the relationship itself, it's more like the after, because the after sometimes is more monumental than what it was, than the now in the moment or whatever. Um, but we were in a very, very serious relationship and it ended, and I was good when it ended. I was like, this is the right thing. Out of the whole relationship, this ending it was the one thing that felt the most right to me. Moved on, right? And um I was changing my life. I was moving away, I was gonna start over, you know, and I was thinking, you know, this was such a serious relationship, and we really went through really hard times together, really good times together. I don't really feel anything for him anymore. I I know I didn't love him anymore, romantically or unromantically. I honestly don't really didn't really care about him, but I cared about myself and I cared about what I went through and stuff, and so I was like, should I like reach out to him? Should I have a conversation? Should I sit down with him? Should I give him the closure that he wanted? But for some reason, like I just as soon as that thought, like it was a very fleeting thought, thought about it, and I was like, Yeah, no. And then you ever have a thought, and then you keep thinking about the fact that you thought about that, and you're like, why did I think about that? Like, why did that even that is so unlike me? Well, I brought it up to my mom. And my mom was like, Yeah, no, absolutely not. That is not a good idea for so many reasons. And I was like, Yeah, you're right, whatever. So the night before I move and change my life, and I was in such a good place with the decision that I had made to end that relationship, I was like, that was the best thing. I was in such a good, I still am. I feel really good about my decision, no regrets. But specifically that weekend, I was like, this is good. Life is gonna get better. There is hope. I went out that night with my coworkers, like a last hurrah or whatever. Mind you, this person had moved a couple hours away. There was no way in heck that I was ever supposed to see this guy again. I'm like, buddy, you can say hell. No, no, no, no, no. I'm really trying. I'm so serious serious about not cussing. No, but anyways, I was like, he wasn't even a thought at this time. Well, I saw him out at a bar, and he was with his friends, and I was with my friends, and he was so rude to me that I was like that that was my closure. My closure was that you're a shitty ass person. Yeah, like you do shitty ass things, yeah. You she can't cause, but I can't. You had you had months to change, to reflect, to grow. Six months. It was a long like it had already been a while, yeah. And you had it, and you were still this little angry person, and I was like, that that better be his closure too, you know, because that sure was mine. Like, I I didn't even know I was looking for that. Maybe subconsciously I was, but I was like, wow, that's what it is. That's my little story. I just that really made me think of that because there was a time in my life where I was like, maybe closure would be nice. Yeah, maybe it would be nice to close. My biggest thing is like move even now moving forward, I just I don't want to have beef with anyone. Like, I don't want to be bad with anyone. Life is really hard. I don't need enemies, I don't need bad blood, I don't need hate, and that's I think where that was stemming from. I just was like, why do we have to hate each other? Why can't we just coexist in this world together peacefully? But I think it's really interesting that you say that because I literally I just reached out to you guys and I told you guys something similar. Like, you know, it really sucks what happened, but like it happened. Yeah. And it is what it is. I don't I feel like I I think I told you guys, like, I just feel like I've been like so guilty with this feeling of like how I feel towards certain people and whether that's based off of their actions or just like how things ended, whatever. I don't want to feel that way. I just want to be good. You don't want to be angry, I don't want to be mad. Life is so good. Genuinely, like I have never felt like so excited about things and just why am I gonna sit here and hold grudges? But it's hard. I definitely said some crazy things in the past. I still kind of mean them. I'm not gonna take them back. I still stand by a lot of like how I felt because I think somebody made me feel that way anyway. But I do think that you can move on from it and feel grace and feel grace. No, you can move on from it and feel better and have grace with it, and have grace with it, have more love towards it, have more respect towards it too. Not that the person needs the respect, but maybe you need it for yourself so that you can move on. So that's a good thing. Sometimes being demure is more for yourself than it is for them. Yeah, it's more for your self-growth. So you know how we're saying like closure is kind of a myth, and like sometimes it just is what it is. Does that mean ghosting sometimes is okay? I feel like the fair answer is yeah, like I okay. The queen of ghosting. No, no, no. I don't think I ghost. I did ghost recently. I did ghost recently, but I tried to fix it, remember? I reached out and I was like, hey, you know, can we talk type of thing? He didn't call me. Yeah, he already knew, yeah, and I think I think yes, sometimes it is okay to ghost, but I think that's really fucking mean, which is why I don't do that. Yeah. So I actually, I'm like queen of ghosting, you are mistaken because I feel so bad when people if I were to be ghosted, I think I'd be so sad.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 35:17

So no. I I think it just depends on the person. I was a really big ghoster. Like, I believe it. Celeste, like, oh I really believe it. You would just never hear from me again. I've never ghosted it in a relationship. I've been like, okay, I'm breaking up with you, I'm over it. Yeah. And then that's pretty much it. I never speak to them again. But with friends and other people and talking stages and situationships, yeah, I've just ghosted. Yeah, I've just been like, alright, that was the last conversation. I don't want to do it anymore. It's childish, you know? It's also the fear of communicating. Like it really it's not, it's not something to be proud of. I think it all I think it also not it's not something to be proud of. Yeah, it could be because it it also just really depends on the person in the situation. So, like how much time, especially if that person invested in me, I'm like, oh yeah, they I I owe them something. I owe them an explanation, I owe them something. Fair, but it's not always like that. Have you ever been ghosted? No, never. It's like when you're consistently talking to someone and then one day nothing. Yeah. It's not, oh, they haven't checked in in a while. Yeah. It's old up, it's always a while. Yeah you know. So I don't know if that's ghosting, but yeah, I don't think I've been. Would you ghost me? No. Just kidding. Kidding, kidding, kidding. Okay. So final verdict is closure, is not always necessary. It's not always needed. Mm-hmm. Is it a myth? I feel like it is. I agree. I think it's a myth. Just because people are never gonna be honest. They're never gonna really tell you, hey, this is why we're not friends. Yeah, unless you're Edward Cullen, you're never gonna know what they're thinking. Right. And I don't know about you, but I'm not Edward. So and I can tell you that you're not Edward. Unfortunately, I don't have the powers he does. So yeah, I think my final verdict is I agree with you. Closure is overrated, not possible, not achievable. Not achievable. If you get it though, if you're looking from someone else. Yeah. If you I wonder if pe if you have gotten real closure from a final conversation from someone, we want to know. Prove us wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let us know because maybe that'll give me hope. This is what I'm saying. I don't think that people can really say that they have or haven't received it. Because it's like, how do you really know? That person could have literally just lied to you. So maybe the question should be have you ever given closure that you were like, I feel like that was good. I feel like that could really help this person move on from this, let go of this. I feel like period, we're just never honest, so you never really, really, really know. And that's my two cents. Dot dot dot. Seriously, just girls. XOXO. Okay. What are you seriously serious about? Saving my money. Oh, girl, don't even tell me about that. Not even if it's just a little something here and there. A little coffee. It's better than I was. Like, I I sent Nikki this meme yesterday, and it was like, mehora que me kedo. No, no. It was like this little kid tied up. Me kedo. Something like that. No, I walk outside like minimum $40. It's annoying. Everything is so expensive. I really don't need to buy anything. No, seriously, like I need a like chill. That, but okay, you know what I'm like kind of gold out on? It's like I will try my best not to eat out. Like, even if I'm starving, I'm like, no, we'll find something at my house. Really? Yeah, because like my parents buy the groceries. So, like, oh, I no, I know. Thank you, mom and dad. But I'm like, oh, I just that's at this point, it's like $20. Yeah. Makes me sick. $20. If I refrain from eating out like three times, that's an outfit. Sorry. That's true. Yeah. That's how I think about it. And that's I've been so this is the most I've saved in my whole life from a job. Good. It's not that much, but it's something. It's better than it was. So I'm so seriously serious about like just keeping some dimes and pennies in a safe place and not touching it. And just like because it's been nice. There's been like one or two emergencies where I like need money, and I'm like, oh, I've got it right here. I don't need to ask my mama or daddy for nothing. I got it right here. I got it right here. Yeah, I could do this. So yeah. That's what I'm so seriously serious about. I need a piggy bank. Yeah. You do. You need a savings account. You need an HOA. Nope. I want a HOA. Maybe I don't want one of those. What's it called? I'm gonna pay someone to tell me that I have to freaking high yield savings account. I do want a high yield savings account. I need one. Really, really want a high yield savings account. Okay, what am I so seriously serious about? I am serious about I am so serious about getting rid of stuff. I feel like I've been decluttering a lot, and I literally got rid of so many trash bags yesterday. Just throwing things away. I know, yeah, and I feel a little bit lighter. Like, hey, my room. I feel like there's more space. I have more room to shop. There's more to buy. That's also a bad mentality, but it's okay. The point is that I'm decluttering. So I'm really proud of myself, and I think that's something we should all be doing, not just spring cleaning or every here and there. Like it needs to be done often. But that's what I'm passionate about. I'm really excited to go get some wine today. That's gonna be so yummy. Yeah, I'm really excited. Well, thanks for listening, guys. I hope you guys had fun with us. I hope you guys resonated with some stuff that we were saying. Yeah, like honestly, this was like a little healing for me. Really? Just yeah, sometimes some of the conversations that we talk about, I haven't really done deep in them like we have on these episodes. I was just kind of realizing some things where I'm like, hmm, that's a good different perspective than what I had, you know? That's what's so fun about this. And then I'm also trying to have a general perspective because I want everyone to relate on a certain level, and then it just kind of makes me grow a little too. Yeah. I love it. It's beautiful. Love you guys. What a life. What a pod. What a pod. Thanks for listening to our pod. We I love, I love watching our listeners. I'm like, oh my gosh, you guys are still here? I'm like, thank you. No, literally, I'm like, the people from New York. We have had the same amount of people from New York for a while. I'm like, I wonder who you guys are. No, that's so funny. Yeah, we're in we don't know anybody in New York. Hit us up. Yeah, I would love to have friends in New York. We'll come visit. We need any excuse to go out there. Like when I see people from different areas, I'm like, how'd you guys find us? Yeah, I'm like, follow me on my personal Instagram. Let's be friends. I'm assuming you're women. If you're not, I don't want to be your friend. So, but as always, I'm Celeste and I'm Nikki. And we're seriously just girls. Thank you so much for listening. Bye. Bye.