Don't Tell the Kids… The Struggle Is Real (and Never-Ending)

Hey mama — this week we’re catching up over coffee and getting real about what it actually takes to build something from scratch. Mel opens up about the messy behind-the-scenes of her supplement company — the two-year (and counting!) journey, the frustrating formulation delays, and why she started it in the first place: nobody told her that ten years on birth control was quietly depleting her nutrients. If you’ve ever been on the pill, this one’s worth a listen.

Then we spiral into the thing we all feel — being so over our phones. Why does scrolling leave us empty? Are we living for the moment or for the post? And why is it so hard to just be present? No answers, just honest talk from two moms figuring it out. Grab your coffee and hide in your car — we’ll keep it between us. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Need a break from your endless to-do list? Welcome to Don't Tell the Kids. We're two busy moms sharing the real, messy, funny conversations about life and motherhood. I'm Mel, mom of three, wellness nerd, an entrepreneur, figuring it out as I go.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

And I'm Shabon, single mom of two, usually barefoot, and always saying yes to life. No advice, just honest conversations on and off the mic. So grab your coffee, hide out in your car, and don't tell the kids. I didn't need to have coffee the other day. Like a topics, serious thing. Well, we have our coffees. We have our topics. So we're good. We do have a topic. Do we need a topic? Well, I feel like we need to talk about, I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Yeah, we could definitely catch up. But but we're gonna- Has it been more than a week? It's been a long week. Actually, you know what? I think that our schedule's been all wonky, so it might have been a little over a week.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I feel like school ended and then I went into a wormhole. I don't know where the time went.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Now we're like back here in the real world. What have you been so busy doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Oh, yeah, we're leaving that we're leaving in a couple weeks, so just try to wrap everything up for work.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Yeah. My dad was here.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Will you still be working when you're gone? One of my goals to be done. I have two decks that I have to finish. I just finished the one and I'm trying to finish the other. And I need you to design something. Does that kind of work? Yes. Yeah, but my saving grace with yours is that your packaging people are so slow by the time they give me the info, I'll be back from my vacation.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Probably true. Terrible. I know I just had a conversation with them yesterday. I'm like, we have to get this moving. Like, oh my gosh. It's like stuck. I mean, part of it's my fault too. I recognize that, right? It's like I was gone and then just trying to reintegrate, trying to figure out what which way was up for like a week.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

I feel like this formulation process has been Forever.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Well, the gummy formulation process has been forever. Forever. Literally, I just said to Chris yesterday, I'm like, I'm like, do we have a lawyer like on retainer? Because I'm just so frustrated by the fact that I gave a company $2,500, which I know is not like a ton of money for a small business, it's a lot. Yeah, it is. In December, and it is now June, and I have had zero samples. Zero. And every time I've act I've just told them, like, just let's just cut our ties and like give my money back, essentially. But they're like, we spent a lot of money on this, but like the communication has been terrible. And they haven't spent a lot of money, what more money than you put in? That's what they said, which they might have, but honestly, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

And then how do they make that money back? You owe them more, or when you start selling, they get a part of it. Essentially, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

When they when I would make an order, of course, they have more. And then once I've heard that small runs, they really make hardly anything. It's when you grow that they make money. But regardless, it's not my fault that they couldn't get it get it. Like I've I'm I was supposed to have three sample, three different variations of samples. So I'd get one sample and I'd be able to give feedback, they would change it, and I have not had a single one. I'm like, this is unacceptable.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Why do I feel like this is actually a very interesting topic? Have we even ever talked about this on here? What? Your company. Oh. Like what you're doing. And why and what I mean? I feel like it's a Yeah, that's fair. We haven't. Um we had like a topic we meant to talk about, but we also can save it for next next week. Yeah, perfect. I feel sometimes I feel like because we're so new at this podcasting thing. Like when I was thinking about our podcast last week and we revisited that like list of why reasons like people don't want to have babies. And later I was like, oh, that was boring as shit. Like? Uh, kind of. And then I'm like, oh, we talked about this. Don't mind us, guys. We're rambling right now about trying to figure out life and work. So maybe you guys can relate to this because it's like none of us know what we're doing as we're going through it. But I do feel like your company you started. How long ago? Two years now? Can you believe two years?

SPEAKER_02 4:15

I know it's crazy. Actually, it's been longer than two years. It's been two years ago, over two years now, that I actually had a physical product. But it took me Really. I mean, eight months prior to that.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

And then how long before that did you really start thinking about this project?

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Well, years probably. I mean, the idea actually first came to me when I was in nutrition school, which was when I went back to school to become a holistic certified holistic nutrition consultant when Maddox was a baby. Maddox is turning 12 very soon. And that is when I first heard the term drug-induced nutrient depletion. And I was just like, what the fuck? I mean, literally, I remember saying to Chris, like, for me, it was all about birth control because I was on birth control for 10 plus years. And had a horrible experience. And honestly, yes and no. I hate to say it that way.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

So wait, before we keep talking, because I feel like some people might not know Melanie has a supplement company that it basically supports your nutrition deficiencies when you're on pharmaceutical drugs. Exactly. So our talking point right now is that it's been forever. It's an incredible idea, the path that it's taken to get here, and the fact that it's like still a work in progress. 100%. So maybe like the idea, if anyone has any amazing business ideas, you know, this maybe this podcast will let you realize it's super hard. You're not the only one that's probably struggling through this.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

No, I was just talking to another uh new founder like last week at a baby shower, funny enough. But anyway, and she was saying too, she's like things just take a long time and like it just especially when you're small, because we're not that important, right? And so if you are a big company with a spending a lot of money that buys you, you know, time and and line time, and you become a priority. But when you're starting out, you're not a priority.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

But yeah, I think companies like Neutrophil, for instance. Yeah. Do you know their backstory? Did they start out super small and then they started to get popular and they got money and funding and then things take off?

SPEAKER_02 6:15

I don't actually know of a supplement company that has started. I'm sure there are vital proteins. Didn't that guy just like start it or he had money to get it? I mean, Kurt is a friend of ours, and so I know his story, but I also don't know like all the ins and outs of it. But I do know he started that company. I don't know when they took funding, but it's pretty rare to start a company, a supplement company, without funding. So we are self-funding ours, and so the you know, the space is really like so saturated, and people spend a ton of money in marketing.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

And so how do you do that without a big budget? Which is always, you know, which is part of my problem. I have lots of them, but yeah. And that's one of them. But um, and so I do know that they they took money, but I don't know at what point or if he's self-funded for how long, or you know, what that looked like.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Yeah, but it's interesting when you look at all these supplements, there's so many that I feel like say they do the same thing, and none of them that say they do what yours does. Yeah. No. So I didn't mean to cut you off, but I felt like instead of having you keep talking about your the process, people need to know what the product is. Yeah, no, no, no, that's what she's talking about.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

So important, yeah. So essentially, yeah, it's exactly it. And the idea is to create different lines for different pharmaceuticals. We started with one, which is for birth control, specifically because of my own journey with birth control. And I just felt that it was so important for women to be educated about this because I'm like, I saw so many doctors during that 10 plus years of birth control, and not a single person mentioned to me, like, hey, this might be depleting your nutrients and disrupting your microbiome, which is why you now have irritable bowel syndrome and anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Well, it's funny because I feel like, you know, we're one of what two countries in the world that are even allowed to have pharmaceutical ads on TV. And when they list all those symptoms, first of all, you're like, well, is bleeding out of my butthole really worth not having the pimple? I don't I don't know. Right, right. I'm just being facetious there. But it but really when, you know, obviously you and I are very into holistic health, where it's like, okay, those are the symptoms, but why are they happening? Yeah. Like, oh, you're on birth control and the symptoms might be, you know, X, Y, and Z, and you can name them all. But it's like, wait, there's a reason those symptoms are happening. This isn't just by chance, and if it's depleting you and you can fix that, then maybe your symptoms won't be as worse. But instead, they're they usually are like, oh, that's your side effect? We got another drug for that. Oh, you're nauseous? Okay, then take this here with another drug. Or it's just part of it.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

You're just supposed to suck it up because that's what it what happens.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

And yeah, I think that you know, there's there's a variety of things that happen when you take pharmaceuticals, and drug-induced nutrient depletion is one of them, but it's an easy one to fix, right? And so for me, it's like I never want to shit on birth control because I am thankful for it. Like I would take it again if I were 19 years old again. Like personally, I just yeah, it allowed me to plan my family the way I wanted to. However, if I could go back and supplement during those years, I would have had so much of a less hard time than in the like the decade after. Like, I literally think it took me a decade to undo all of the health issues that I created during that 10 years of being on it. And so I think that it would have just made that process so much easier.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

That's interesting. You know, I'm kind of nervous. I think I did on birthday when I was like 16, except when I went off it to have babies. Yeah. And then after that, I had an IED put in. Right. Hormonal or copper. That's hormonal. Hormonal. Yeah. Yeah. I never noticed like mood swings or anything like when I was on it. Yeah. But then part of me is like, well, how do I know? I've been on since I was 16. Maybe this isn't even me.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Maybe this is all maybe we're about to meet the new Chevron.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

If I take this thing out.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

And you know, you wouldn't really know. Like the nutrients it's depleting, like, you don't generally like feel that until it's like to a point where you're really at a deficit, right? But there's no doubt, like, that has an impact on your body all those years. And and by the way, like I've talked to people that girls have started as young as 10 years old. I mean, the average age is 16. And women stay on it for a very long time. A lot of women now are told by their doctors that if they're going through perimenopause, to just stay on it. And so you're thinking, like, holy shit, like 20, 30 years, some people are on birth control. Like that is affecting your body, period.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Have you seen that? Like some women saying the way we've gone off it, that they're like, I don't didn't even find my husband attractive anymore. Like something about your hor like your actual like hormones, not just like whatever side effects you're getting from nutrient depletion.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Yeah, there's actually a book, Dr. Sarah Hill, who actually did a small pilot study, um, not her specifically, but at the university that I worked with, that she wrote a book about all the changes that happened within your body when you're like you're on birth control, and it's wild. Like it affects your brain 100%. Like some people do not find their partner, you know, at all attractive anymore. I mean, that's the thing. What do you do?

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Put it back, like get back on birth control or get a divorce.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

That's the answer there. I don't know. That's a hard one, right? Maybe go back on birth control if you have kids and you love your husband.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

Anyone that started hating their husband, we just found your answer. No.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

That's the case. Oh my gosh. Or get a divorce and don't pick any partner while you're on birth control. I don't know. That's so I mean, crazy though, right? And like some of that stuff, like, there's no easy fix for, right? Like, I'm not claiming that motive is my supplement. It used to be called Ally. It's motive. I'm not claiming ever that like motive is gonna solve all your birth control problems or your marriage or your marriage problem. Yes. It's not gonna make your husband look like a stud if you don't think he's a stud. But it's like very low-hanging fruit. Like, let's fix the easy part. Like let's fix your microbiome and your nutrient depletion, you know, so that you can at least like not worry about that part of it. So many things. So many things to think about.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

But and what's the next one that after birth control that you were doing? I forget.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Your antidepressants best friend, which are the formulas ready. It's just um a matter of well, the forever long formulation process and the gummy formulation is ready for that one? I mean, I have the formula made, like that formula written out ready. Yeah. How interestingly, the gummy process has been so interesting because like I have a very high nutrient load in motives capsules.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

And originally I was just going to stop making capsules and make it into a gummy because I heard from so many people that that's what they wanted. And you know, a lot of these girls are new to supplements and they're young, and you know, so I was gonna just do a gummy form. Well, first of all, to make a clean gummy with that high of a nutrient load, like the serving size would be ridiculous, and it's really hard to ni for it not to taste like vitamins. And so my formula will not be exactly the same in a gummy versus a capsule. How many gummies do they have to take? Two? It'll be three, which is three capsules, three gummies, but like literally everything will be essentially shrunk. Like how much of the nutrients you'll get, which isn't necessarily a negative.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

I think to me though, taking three pills is easier than chewing three gummies. Like I don't want to eat three gummies. I could barely get one gummy down. The only reason I ever eat the gummies is because there's weed in them. Because they're fun. Well, or they're delicious.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

So we're making ours so that they're cravable and delicious, and you want them. I tasted them the other day, they smelled good too. Yeah, and that's not even the final we're gonna make them. There'll be better than that. So uh, but you know, like some people gruns or groons and they make it. Like those ones are a whole packet. There's like six gummies or something in there. And stuff for kids? Both adults and kids. Honestly, that's what I actually when my Chris was taking ally and like was said, like he feels better, he's more energetic. And then one day I see that we have gruns, gruns, whatever at our door. And I was like, hmm, this is interesting. And so I asked him about it, and he was like, Yeah, you know, he's like, I saw them, I wanted to taste them, and and he's like, I like that it feels like desserts. And so I thought I was like, gosh, it's like that's there is something to that, like about like I think the capsule is for the people who are really serious about like health and nutrition and like really want to go there. But for people who are like maybe just like like the idea of supplementing, but it has to be fun and easy, like that's what a gummy is for. I think it's a different customer.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Is it worth parallel pathing it and seeing what sells better or how much money does that cost? Sometimes I look at it, I'm like, are you just cannibalizing your sales? Well, I might, but I'm gonna do both for sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

I think that for me, I mean, we also did a pilot study uh with the capsules, and like 50% of the people who took it, took, took it for 28 days uh were happier, like statistically significantly happier, which is so interesting, right? Yeah. And so I'm like, I don't want to get rid of the capsules, and so I mean that's a whole another problem finding companies that do low, it's called minimum order quantity, but I but we found someone. So we're gonna do a small run of both and see what happens. And maybe, maybe it's cannibalism, but I don't think it really is. But I don't know. I don't won't know until we know. And by the way, there's like a billion things, right? It's like it's like motherhood, like there's a million decisions every day, right? And being like a solopreneur, like there's like a million decisions every day. And it's hard because I don't know. I've never been in the space. Like I have the nutrition background, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

But that was interesting, like it was a couple months ago or so we were talking, you're like, I just don't know, like I don't know about marketing. I don't know about and like, yes, a lot of being an entrepreneur is like learning those things, but sometimes it's just like how? How am I supposed to learn this? Or learn it, learn it enough to a point where you're actually good enough at it to help your own business.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Yeah. Which takes forever, by the way. Like I've I've spent entire days trying to figure out how to effectively do things on TikTok shop where I accomplished nothing. You know, it's just like a learning curve.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

All that tech stuff is awful though.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

I mean, for me it is.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

And I feel like I'm pretty tech savvy. And when anyone like our clients, or if I have to go try to figure out like meta, meta ads, whatever, I'm like, I I just can't. I know. It's horrible for me. I don't know who designed that back end there. They should be fired immediately. Why is it so complicated? Why is connecting things all like it's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I totally agree. I don't enjoy that part of the business at all. But you know, I think that I've learned a ton in two years, and I've learned what I've done wrong, and I also realize like where I need to to bring some people in to help with some things, and so I'm I feel like I'm set up for success more this time than I was originally, which feels good.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

But also when you think about like the life cycle of a company, two years, it's like it's like an infant still.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

100%, especially considering like we had no budget, like the marketing, there's like I mean, 99.9% of the population has no idea what we are still, you know, that we even exist.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Like that we and the dot like the money that people spend on ads. Yeah. And yes, obviously, the more you spend, usually your return is higher. That's the goal, right? But it's so much money. It's like it feels like such a gamble. You're like, all right, this month alone, I'm gonna put $200,000 into meta ads. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

And I'm like, that's more than I had to do everything.

unknown 17:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Like that's just yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Like we were who are who was it? Michael and I were talking about it because oh, he has a friend that owns that electrolyte company, Salt of the Earth. And I think he was telling Michael, he spends, I don't know, whatever it is, $20,000, $30,000, whatever it is a month on ad spend. And it's funny, because Michael's like, oh my god, like, that's insane. That's so much money. And then he meets Devin, who has the ProMix, whatever, and they spend whatever they spend, which is like 20 times more than that. And he's like, holy shit. Totally. And then and then a friend of mine lives down the street, he actually works for Meta, but I think he does mostly South America like ad spends, like, you know, ad sales, whatever. And, you know, Michael's talking to him and he's trying to like connect Devin with this guy because he's like, Yeah, you know, my buddy, thinking it's a huge number. Like, yeah, you know, I don't think my buddy does like $200,000 a month or whatever ad spend. I'm just making these numbers up. Don't quote me anybody. And the guy's like, well, yeah, I mean, that's like on the the low end. I mean, you know, most people I work with spend like two million dollars a month or something. And Michael's like, what the hell? That's why it's like, don't get discouraged, people, if you're out there trying to like start something new and you know, I'm what, getting things to like go viral? And uh I just I'm so sick of it. I'm so over the phones, I'm over the ad stuff, I'm over the like I just want to go back and live in a corner of the woods and like cook things on a pot on an open fire or something. I think that's a little extreme, but don't you feel like a lot like that's like a consensus now? So many people are like craving the people and the connection, and like it just feels like we've been so disconnected.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

100%. I think that also it's like you know, I go on Instagram and I will go on Instagram to play most of the time. I mean, you know, motive is different, but like on my other account, it's just I go on there just to create, really, like to post things I want to. But what I uh get annoyed is I'm like, gosh, everything I look at, it's like someone's selling something. Yeah, of course. It's like like I don't I want to go ahead and do it.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

It's completely turned into that, and you know, through like Michael's journey of becoming Instagram famous, whatever. I don't even know. Does he have a million followers yet?

SPEAKER_02 19:34

I think so, but I'm not sure. Only Instagram is usually a lock.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

I don't even go on it. And but you know, he is such a like student of whatever he's trying to learn. You know, he like dives into everything and he's like it almost just feels so insincere and not organic anymore. Yeah. You know, like you go and you'll see somebody do a reel, or you know, these everyone call is calling, you know, whether it's it's like a oh, this trending thing on Instagram, and you're like, trending, that means somebody did something, you saw it, and you're literally just copying and spitting out the same shit everybody else is doing. Yeah, it's not even original. No, it's like it's original once, and then everybody does the same thing. And even Michael's like, yeah, you know, sometimes I go on the the discovery page and I'll put in, you know, I want to talk about strengthening my scapula, whatever. Some great he's like, and I find videos that are super popular and I remake them and put my own twist on it. And you know, he does great, obviously, and his are always super unique and he does his own thing. I think it's just for ideas, but I'm like, oh well, that makes sense. That's why everybody's stuff is just the same. 100%. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to watch like pranks where people take people's plates away from the table while they're still eating. They like tell the server to do it, or like the AI AI pretending that you've got like a hot shirtless plumber in your house and tricking your husband. But it's like over and over, and it's like the decline of just people being unique.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

It's so hard though, because here's the thing like as much as I push against like going on Instagram and it being ads, I'm also guilty of it to a certain degree, but it's like here you here it is. It's like, okay, I really think that I have a product that I want that I want women to know about because I really believe in it and I believe that can help them. And how do you get that message out nowadays? And like, how do you educate? It's like almost like if you're not willing to share something that's good, it's like you're doing a disservice to people. But by sharing it, you're part of the problem in a way. So y it's like a really tricky thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

I feel like I guess it's one thing about somebody's job and you're like sitting and creating and you're making moments for that. But just listening to somebody talk about this, I don't know who it does. Why do I kind of feel like it was Matthew McConaughey, which is super weird. Oh, he's got cool some things to say, could be. But it was about the level of like uh gratification and like the thrill that we get now and how it occurs where before the phones, before this whole social media thing, it was the moment you're doing the activity. Right. Let's just use jumping off a cliff into water in Nigrill Jamaica. Whatever. You go cliff jumping. Right? The moment of gratification used to come from the moment of doing that action. And now that gratification, yes, you people still get that gratification of doing it, but the saying like the dopamine levels and that gratification you get when you share it and people like it is like giving people more gratification than the actual living of life. That's scary. That's that's what I feel like I'm trying that I'm like rebelling against these these days. Yeah, no, I get that. You know and we live in Miami Beach. So you see, you know, people constantly like filming themselves doing something and then doing it again and then making their friend do it again. And again, you're like, oh my God. Yeah. Like to try to get this picture perfect view of your life every day and posting it so people can see it and you're not living it in a true way.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yeah yeah I mean I I 100% agree with that and I think that that's really sad if the likes and the posting is more rewarding than the act of living.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

And I And who knows again it was Matthew McConaughey saying it. I don't know if it was a scientist but it seems like it was you know it's something that that when he said it I was like God that kind of makes sense. I could see that happening now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

The flip side of that and Chris talked about this with me and I was like oh this is an interesting point. He's like if on the other hand you do things that you wouldn't maybe do because you want to film it and post it that can actually be good to a certain degree, right? It's like take the leap off of the off of the cliff even though you're scared. And even if you're doing it for the wrong reason as long as you can be present in that moment and enjoy it, maybe that's not the worst.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Yeah but I feel like then are you doing things because people are watching. And then that goes back to the idea of like are you doing these even if it was real life with a phone or not a phone, are you doing things to impress people?

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

And I don't know maybe that's okay. Maybe you wouldn't have taken that leap unless someone was cheering you on and telling you to do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

The funny part is no one actually really gives a shit for the most part, right? It's like we scroll through things like so quickly. And like no I mean it's like sometimes things are like interesting but like it's not like you're having like a big reaction generally or like emotional attachment to what else brings you a whole nother issue.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

So instead you're you just set spent 45 minutes of your life scrolling through something that you're not even paying attention to. You're getting one to two second clips of things that people are putting out there that I don't know. They've got to have some kind of subconscious effect on you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

But you're not really getting anything I mean I think it depends and I think that yes. I mean I'm very aware of the fact like I don't do scroll very often I will go on and scroll and like often find something that I find like inspirational and share it. And I but I try to create more content than I consume as a general because I do think that consuming content A creates a lot of comparison which steals joy. It also is often mind-numbing and boring like and so I really I as a general I'm like always trying to create more than I consume.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Yeah I have I use that app um I've showed it to you before it's called minimal minimal phone launcher and I love it. It ha it one it takes all the icons off your phone so you have no like little all the colors and the buttons and the whatever it's just a list. Black screen white letters it says messages phone blah blah blah you know you've seen it and it also has a feature that has like this digital detox feature. So you can lock any accounts that you want to lock and if you want to go in it like if ever I want to go into Instagram to go have to look something that Michael did or look for work or just you know for I just feel like scrolling for a little bit I have to go in you have to unlock it. They're like are you sure? Are you sure and it's like this whole you have to like wait and then you click. So I have to I'm like anyone do this anyway. But I do find and this is like you know my issue with kids having social media it's like I find that I literally have an app on my phone to make me not go on social media. And then when I actually go and I get on it, I find myself like sometimes I go on it because I specifically like let's say Michael's like hey look at this reel that I did let me know what you think. I'll go on there before I even get to the reel because I've already forgotten what I went on there for. I'm you know 10 reels deep looking at puppy dogs. And I'm like that and then I'm like why was I even on here I came on here for a reason and then I don't have part of it's like what's a worse time suck that or rewatching Gilmore Girls with my daughter over and over. I don't know. I don't know what's worse. Is one worse is one better does it not matter but it's just to your point I get off it I'm like and I'm like I should have just sat there in silence for 20 minutes and meditated.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

That's the truth. But a couple things on that one is I like the extra steps because sometimes I know I'll pick up my phone to like literally go on like email and then I'll realize I opened Instagram and I'm like what am I doing? Like stop and then I'll get off of it and go back to what I was originally doing. Secondly like the Gilmargaros part is equally a waste of time except if you're doing it with someone. Like I think the problem with social media is that it's isolating and it's a false connection. Like you're not really connect to people. Yes you can keep in touch with people somewhat but it's still not a real connection.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

No. I talked my dad about that once my dad's like oh every day I used to come home from school and I would watch TV for two hours. Right. And I was like yeah dad the difference is you guys had one TV in your house there was maybe five shows to choose from and everyone would sit in front of the same screen in the same room as a family. Right. Which is still not great connection but it's better.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

You're at least like with another human like leave it to beaver and everyone's kind and nice like ripping apart the other political party or well that's the other thing is uh no two people's experience is the same on Instagram because our feeds are so different, you know?

SPEAKER_00 28:21

So I think not only is our feed completely different, obviously similar to like you know your boyfriend Claude who you were raving about on Instagram, your secret boyfriend I call him my best friend. It's like a yes man. Your algorithm is a yes man. Yeah. So if you believe you know in one political view it just it feeds you the same thing. Totally. Like there's no balance. Okay well here's another opposing view. So now let's have like you know I've always I always joked that like the phones you know just ruin the the art of debate also. Because you're like, oh you thought that movie came out in the 80s? No, I'm sure it's an early 90s movie. And then instead of being like yeah because it came out with this one then you talk things through and figure things out with people. Yeah yeah instead you just pick up your phone and look for the answer.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

It's true. No it is true. I mean that's why it's like you know it's not what we know anymore. It's what questions you ask because every answer is at our fingertips. Although I have put so many things in there and I'm like I don't really agree with this answer. And so I do think that we have AI you mean?

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Yeah. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

So we still need to have critical thinking and be able to have conversations about you know like the view that it's taking because it's taking from a database and giving you an answer based on that but there's always yeah things that don't fit into that.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

I was thinking of that from like a medical standpoint because I was talking to um Michael about rhythm you know they're like one more company and and they are have this like new kind of beta like AI of running your blood results through them. Yeah. And I was like well that's an interesting idea but is it like closed AI? Where are they getting this? Like who are they pulling it from? Because I, you know, when I go to search for something for my own personal health am I going on the FDA's website? No. I am trying to find like a holistic or a functional medicine doctor or someone so like you want to be able to curate where that information is coming from. So when you're looking through Claude or you're looking unless I'm sure there's probably very advanced ways that you and I don't know how to do it. It's fair but whenever I ask questions I'm like act as a holistic healer or a functional medicine doctor. Yeah totally not like the standard doctor down the street. And I mean don't get me wrong AI is amazing and it's super helpful and this morning I used it to turn my picture of my neighbor into a rooster with a with a mugshot. Like it's the best thing every what else did I do with my morning besides make turn my neighbor into a slash rooster getting arrested.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

We need to tell everyone here if you like our podcast, please share with another human because we're so bad at social media that nobody will ever find us.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

It's not that we're even bad at social media it's all my fault. I take full credit we are just have been very bad figuring out how to record ourselves hence our audio only. So trying to find things to post and clips of us has been very hard people.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

No for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

So coming from the girl who is supposed to be doing the posting and I just talked about how much I hate it until everyone unlock Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Now we know you can tell why there's no Instagram post. So we need your help spreading the word we need lots of hope in general but that would be that would be a good place to start.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

All right any final thoughts other than No, but I do appre I do like that our topic we're supposed to talk about was how much kids are on their phones. So it's a good segue to next week maybe because we've already started touching on social media stuff. Our tangents are never ending we love you guys.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Thanks for hanging with us thank you so much for hanging out with us today we're really glad you're here. You can follow the podcast on Apple and Spotify and we're on social at Don't Tell the Kids with a bunch of underscores. Hang in there mamas see you next week