21LA Podcast - Episode 2 | What bringing these projects together feels like

We talk about how creating these projects feels like grabbing wet mud with little particles of dirt and that dirt is what's becoming 21LA. 

Let's keep going team.

21LA <3

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Ho Okay, it's up. Okay, welcome to I guess podcast episode number two. Oh yeah. We're gonna drop you down all the way. Okay, so. So. No, it's like uh it feels like trying to bring these ideas together. It feels like trying to grab very watered down dirt. If that makes any sense. Multiple times a day. That's fine. It's like multiple times a day, I and okay, so there's like there's like frequent bouts of what the hell am I doing? How am I gonna make this that happen, you know, throughout the day. And then there's like some intense moments of it where it's like truly like, what are you even doing, bro? Every seven to fifteen days. Um but we were just having one of those. It's the name of the game. So, we started ready. Okay, committing to the process. What's the practice that I want to commit to? The creation of these songs leads to a better understanding on this world and my place in it. Practice committing to the process. Okay, so let's define that process. You see it leading to a film. So, let's break down what needs to happen to get there. And this is the interesting part. I wrote one is discovering the idea. We continue to gain perspective on the idea through experience and conversation with others. That is living the life that I want to live. One. Two, writing stories. Bringing the experiences, ideas, and conversations into tangible form through writing. Three, turning formless into form. There isn't an answer on what to do next. How to do it, we actually have no idea. We commit to our above two practices and trust we will figure it out from there. Let me give you an example of this. Max walked in and I was just talking with him about it. So right here, we have Ralph McDonald under this really cool light that's lighting Ralph McDonald. I just want you guys to take a moment to see this. This. Oh my gosh, like it's just it's just beautiful. But how did that happen? Okay. I didn't plan on this light being here writing Ralph McDonald. No. What happened was I was simply living my life authentically to me. Was from my grandparents' old house. And it's from my grandparents' old house. And I um find it inspiring. It gives me Pixar vibes, it gives me memories, it gives me just like I don't know. It's something that felt like I wanted it to be here. And then Ralph McDonald. Ralph McDonald. I don't know why. There's something about the way he's looking at you that kind of just always kind of tells you what's up. And those two steps of me getting those, I commit to the process of being myself. Led to those being in my life. Now, those two things are right there with each other, creating that moment above my desk. I can't plan for that. Because I don't know that I'm going to get a lamp from my grandparents' old house and a vinyl of Ralph McDonald. But what I can do is commit to those first two things. Of being present in the moment, committing to the practice that aligns with what I think this life that I want to live is. And when I get to that third step of being in that arena, and I don't know what's gonna be there, I get to trust myself. And I get to rely on me committing to those first two steps. Trust my instincts that I'd figure it out. And that relates to these projects as well. Like We Are One Body. This song has gone so many places, and I actually don't know where it's gonna go next. Even the idea of it going somewhere next freaks me out because that means there could be more versions of it. It has roots of an electronic song that I made when I was in Costa Rica to impress a girl I was talking to. That was one of the first songs I made where I was unintentionally writing about the headspace I was in at the time. A fragile headspace where I wasn't dealing with the things that I know that I should be dealing with and I was running away from them. Which led to a six-month bout of me not allowing myself to work on any other song but this one until it was finished. And it led to me questioning why am I making music and yeah, not good stuff. Which then led to me making the song, led to me making these studio sessions with friends and these videos about those studio sessions, which then led to me thinking of this fictional world of these two parallel lives, one version of your current self and this other version of yourself that never makes a decision out of anything that isn't morally aligned with who you truly are. And the moment those two paths cross, and you're sitting there overwhelmed, and you look up and you see a different version of yourself sitting there like this, and that moment of those two lives crossing, and the story about those two lives. And that concept of seeing those two lives, a lot of it got brought about from looking into black hole theory and astrophysics. And I take a lot of inspiration from black holes with that story. And now I wrote an abstract about like a fictional made-up science paper talking about the feeling that I was feeling in that moment over first writing the song. See? The watered down dirt that it feels like, it's these little things that are spinning. But they're spinning around like this. And I just want to continue to like pull down this like gravity around these ideas, and that gravity comes from me just chopping wood and carrying water, I think. Um yeah. Um it's fun. I I was talking with my cousin recently about the feeling of like not knowing what the fuck you're doing and what you're gonna create. And we were talking and we got to a point where we realized this exact feeling of discomfort that we're in right now is literally exactly why we do these things. Because this feeling of discomfort is exactly that thing that we're working on discovering what it is, and not through thought, through hyperbole, I don't even think that's the right word, but through d through actually sitting in it, through looking it in the eyes and being in the arena and choosing to be there with it. And just being like, alright, dude. I don't know what you're gonna look like. I don't know where you're gonna be. I don't know if you're gonna be a four-headed dragon, if you're gonna be a little wiener dog, or if you're gonna be literally my younger self looking at me in the eyes. But I'm gonna show up and we're gonna figure it out when we get there. And uh that's what we're gonna do. What is it gonna lead to? I don't know. But I'm starting to experience a feeling of excitement sitting in this discomfort because I know what it leads to. So on that note, 21LA, spread love, it's possible. And um just be you. It works. We're gonna pretend that we stopped recording then. Um we're gonna pretend that we stopped recording then because we are going to uh other cousins and that's so fun. We're gonna read the uh the We Are One Body abstract right now.

unknown 10:14

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

We are one body. Abstract. It has been observed on many accounts, subjects describing a physical sensation of weight located on their chest. Other symptoms include rapid breathing, excessive uncontrollable worry, trembling in the hands, fatigue, irritability, and sleep disturbances. When asked the cause of this feeling, subjects are unable to identify a single reason. Their response was to distract themselves through miscellaneous activities, disregarding the feeling to the best of their ability, leading our original study to end inconclusive as to what this feeling is. However, amidst our research, we noticed something. There were certain subjects that inspected their symptoms. Cases that would not disregard the feeling, but would search for the cause of it. We noticed in these specific cases their condition began to deteriorate. Their symptoms increased. Their thoughts began operating in a direction that caused them to compound. One thought bred another, and that thought two more, and so on, until there was what seemed like endless thought, and they began to spiral into what we are calling the cognitive singularity. In this paper, we discuss our findings. We show a theory that we have tested on one of our subjects that was inside the cognitive singularity. The data is incomplete, as we are unsure if there is a complete cure to this. It may just be the nature of whatever this is. However, it is certain we have discovered something. We are one body. The feeling by Jackson Jackie.