Blushing...Bartender?

Weddings are about family and friends coming together...not hitting people in the face.

Here's to us, here to you, and cheers to all, down the hatch!

Hold My Bee is two friends and some guest stars talking about the unbelievable things happening in their lives. Think of this as a form of therapy, for us at least, drinks will be shared, songs may be sung, and for the most part, the sarcasm is heavy.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Hi, I'm V. And I'm Morgan. And welcome to our podcast where we talk about truly random and sometimes unbelievable things that happen in our lives.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Mostly yours.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Today, not so much. We will sit here and try and get a buzz while you listen and judge. Normal life drama or straight up trauma?

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Trauma.

unknown 0:30

Maybe chemical T.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Not so much for this one, actually.

unknown 0:34

No, not really.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

But it does happen. So given that, trigger warnings. Include but are not limited to sarcasm, booze, swearing, sickness, mental health, physical health breakdowns, crash-outs, possible mentions of blood, vomit, and cheaters. This one actually has blood in it. You weren't there for that part.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

I was like, I don't remember that, but alright.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Um, I'm gonna also start it with yes, you know who you are. Yes, you know this episode is coming out. I already talked to you. You already know. Thanks for being a listener.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

This podcast is not suitable for children. If you are listening, those under 18, we recommend that you get them snacks and remove them. If you choose to let your child listen to this podcast, we are not responsible for therapy bills, explanations, or any other traumatic events that may arise due to their virgin ears.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Yes, and today we are drinking blue Hawaiians, and we have snacks, someone has gummy bears. Hi someone, someone needed a snack in between, so we got it. Don't chew those in the microphone. That was so bad. Don't choke either. Listen, this is at least recorded, so if you die, I get voters.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

And give no explanation.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

B died in a bear attack.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Oh just say I died from a bear. They don't need to know it with gummy.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

That's fair.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

That'd be the but see, everyone would believe me. I'm aware. In high school I choked on a single grain of rice.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

There are some things in your life that I'm very confused about.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

Only some.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Everything else kind of has an explanation.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

But like those things, not so much. Sorry, I took a really long brain pause to figure out where I was.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Stand by.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Sorry, guys. It's hot and I don't work very well in the heat.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

So you're gonna have to get over that real quick.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Um, speaking of heat, I will make you. I have things. Um, but speaking of heat, has you have you ever done uh a backyard wedding before?

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Yes, yes, I have.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Supposed to say no. Whatever. So we did um a lovely wedding this year, like three months ago. Not even, not even listen, all of the time has blended together.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

You're thinking of the season finally.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Oh, that one, yeah. Yeah, that's okay. We have permission for that one too. Yeah, so I we have enough permission for that one. Sorry, well, it's it's more of I'm excited to talk about them.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

I know um the couch. So kind of gummy bear.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

There's so many con okay. So this wedding was like three years in the making. Fair um of me meeting the couple, being friends with the couple, having a small falling out because um tease. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, tease is the way that things kind of went. Um, and then rekindling that friendship and like re-jumping back into it, and then going, so you're still gonna officiate for us, right? I'm sorry, what? I'm gonna what? Yes, I agree. I agreed already, didn't I? Yes, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I had their date in my calendar for like two years.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

I learned that the hard way.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you shouldn't have done that. Um, sober, sober agreeing or drunk agreeing is never a friend for the other side. Because it just gets you when you're burnt out. So I had lost my job, switched jobs, and then had to miraculously have this day off. I did. But like it took a bit, as you remember.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

I just showed up.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

No. Okay, you did just show up to the wedding early.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

I had responsibilities when I got there that I was unaware of, but I just showed up. Yeah, so I got it. It was more of a B. You need to be available on this day. I already have plans on that day. I don't care. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Please be available. I need you. Not that they not that the people there need you. No, no, no. B was my plus one.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

I was.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

I got permission. Not that I needed it, but I did get it. Just in case, because there are people who have grudges against B for some reason or another. Couldn't think of any of them.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

I'm gonna make myself a wanted poster.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Oh my god, that'd be adorable. Anyway. Yep, I hate it.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Tell us below, do you want to wear uh bee's face?

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Wanted four sarcasm. Dang it! I wrote the merch myself just now. I hate you. Alright, so it was a really nice outdoor wedding. However, this wedding had lots of drama. And not between the bride and groom.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Again, it's another one where the bride and groom are.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

We're not the problem. No, okay, so they were not unaware.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Okay, the other wedding, they were blissfully unaware.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah, blissfully unaware on the other one. This one, they knew what was going on, and they did their damnedest to like quiet it the fuck down until I was in the house, in the middle of the house, yelling at everyone.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

This must have been after I left.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

This was before you even got there.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Or that.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Because someone had turned on the oven, which was gonna mess up the food and dry out the food because it was homemade brisket. So then we had to turn off the oven and not open the oven so the food didn't dry out, and then we had booze wasn't moved to the right spot, and then we had the groom arguing with the ant, and they were going back and forth, the yelling and yelling, and I was like, Okay, that's enough. So I sent the ant out, and then the parents, uh, his parents were out, and then they decided they were gonna argue with the ant, so then they were going back and forth. Meanwhile, the group and I are uh at his personal bar taking shots because I was like, this is gonna be a really long day. We're taking shots. What are we taking shots of? Our own bottles of soju.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

I brought shots.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

You did, you brought lemon cello. It was an okay bottle.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Um, I was talking about I know I also brought pink whitney.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

We like actual shots.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

We did have a bucket of pink whitney. That went very quickly. Because I was just supposed to be the officiant. I need to stop going to weddings early and just be like fashionably late. Because I ended up doing hair and makeup and writing a speech and making sure that everyone knew how they were gonna walk down the aisle and how they were gonna do all of the things, and then do some pictures, and then make sure that everyone knew that there was a little app to use. So, like, I was working with the DJ because then we needed a song what they were gonna walk out to and what they were gonna dance with, and I was like, Oh my god, why am I doing this?

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Because I have no control and I'm a Virgo because your emotional support areas hadn't arrived yet.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

That's true, because that was even before you got there or before Fee got there. Um, and I was like, oh my god, the people I need to be here are not here, and I need my emotional support and my no. Hey, this is my no, because if I don't have someone to do it for me, she won't do it. I won't do it.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

I've literally looked at people after she said yes, and I'll be like, she won't be doing that.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Yeah, she already agreed to it.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

I know. I said what he said, she won't be doing it.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Yep, and then I have Fete who's like, okay, well, you actually need like right now to like make it so you are in control of yourself. She's like, here's this band, here's this thing, and I was like, I need you to go out there and get everyone in their fucking seats so I can send the Grim out and get the fuck started with this. Because we had a wedding party, it was very small. Thank god, thank god it was small, like three people because they counted me for both sides. They didn't they didn't know which side to put me on. They're like, Do we put you on this side or that side?

SPEAKER_02 9:56

I was like, Well, I mean You're the officiant, it didn't matter, you weren't in the center.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

That was before I was the officiate. Oh they were arguing who got me.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

I was very confused. I was like, Do you do you realize that's the officiator?

SPEAKER_01 10:09

So I told them I was officiating and I could do this thing, and they went, perfect, you're in the middle. I didn't agree to that, and then I eventually did.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Where were you planning on standing with dormant?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

I was just gonna stand where I was told to stand.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Yeah, but as the officiant, they stand in the middle.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

I wasn't officiating at that time, I was just supposed to be like a groomsman or a bridesmaid.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Oh god, I'm really glad that you officiated because somehow I would have been the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Yeah, you would have we would have thrown you in there.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

And we're like, wait, what?

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Yep. Surprise! It's okay because I got to do the funniest marriage speech ever.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

I don't know why it was there.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Have have have you guys ever seen the princess bride?

SPEAKER_02 10:56

She did the lisp.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

I did, I did my wedge is what wings us here today, and it wasn't just that piece. Oh no, no, no. She did the whole thing, the whole thing, because both bride and groom agreed that we were doing the whole thing, and then they said I do with the lisp too, and then you left me.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Listen, there's one thing you need to know about your girl. She had tickets to a hockey game.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

I'm aware, I'm not as important.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I got out of my fancy ash dress with my wedding makeup, and I switched into my little avalanche leggings, boots, and jersey.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Didn't you have like four outfits that day too?

SPEAKER_02 11:44

I did. I did. Oh yeah, because I had to work.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

So I had a work outfit, I had a wedding outfit, and then I had uh the hockey outfit, and then I I had to do something after the hockey game that I can't think of, so I had I had that outfit. Yeah, like you had when I said I had plans that day, I was not lying, and still you managed to fit that in actually.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

You did, um, and then I watched as everyone got progressively more drunk, and I just kind of sipped, mainly because I was handed a baby all throughout the night. Not my baby.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Oh no, yes, but it was your baby, yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Yes, not my baby, but but is my baby.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Yeah, I was like, do we need to talk about kid? I was like, okay, Meredith Gray, let's not kidnap a baby.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Okay, if I was gonna kidnap a baby, I would kidnap that baby.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

I'm aware.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

However, that child came to me willingly.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

The parents both knew don't don't don't say that in your court case. I swear, officer, it's not kidnapping if they go willingly.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

It's okay because the cat, the cat. Okay, clearly I need more sleep. Uh, but the kid, the kid basically um throughout the mom's entire pregnancy heard my voice. So, like, immediately knew who I was and just continued to go to me anyway. Like, she get free of whoever had her and like her parents, and fine, and I was like, What are you okay?

SPEAKER_02 13:23

She found me at one point, which was really weird and uncomfortable, but then Morgan showed up and it was fine.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

It's like she knew, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

She's like, Oh my god, B, and I was like, No, and then Morgan showed up and I was like, She was like, Oh, Morgan, and I was like, Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Yeah, but it was one of those moments of we had a great night, everyone got really drunk. I watched people drink from bottles, and they had a fully stocked bar that was actually tended.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Then I was lied to about.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

What were you lied to about?

SPEAKER_02 13:53

You told me there was no bar. What do you think I brought?

SPEAKER_01 13:55

I won't be alcohol. I wasn't told anything.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

I was like, that seems weird given from what I know about these people, but sure, I'll get alcohol on the way.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Yeah, I I wasn't told anything, and then I got there and I suddenly knew everything and was planning and fixing and doing all the stuff. Because I ended up doing hair for the bride while someone else did her makeup, and then I helped do hair and makeup for one other, mostly just making sure that it looked good on her while we watched the princess bride because I had four different things to do that day.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

I did my own makeup for once, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

For once, and we were all very proud of you.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

And I did my hair, yeah. I actually curled my hair.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

Yeah, we were all very proud of you for doing your own stuff for once. You're normally someone's Barbie doll.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

That's what I'm saying. I did my own shit for that wedding, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Um, and then it ended up somewhere towards the end, and we were doing cleanup. You were already at the hockey game, as one is, and like the bar staff, which were his friends, were leaving. I missed how it happened, but suddenly one of the bartenders was bleeding. I like uh something got thrown, like they were trying to throw trash away and it hit him in the face.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Had something, something wanted to happen to me.

unknown 15:18

It's a good thing I wasn't there.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Yeah, because the man the man got like straight hit in the nose. Oh and it just gushed, like we had to hose off the porch is how bad it was. We're all like uh uh uh and the bride's dad is trying to help and fix it because he was in charge of cleanup willingly. The man chose to do it himself, and we all said, Yes, sir, what do you need? We're all still in our dresses. Uh the bride has changed and it has passed the fuck out.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

That would be me.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

I because I was like, You're still in your dress, why don't you go get into comfy clothes? Yeah, I'll go do that. She wrote she laid on the bed. What? She laid on the bed now.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

She's a mistake.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

She's out. Why did you I didn't let her? She she managed it, and now she's she's out cold. Oh, and there goes the maid of mom. Okay. Hoyle, everyone is out cold. DJ is still here, and that's how that one went. It ended with a bartender bleeding, but not a bean.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

That's what I'll win here.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

And um, there was gonna be extra mashed potatoes for you.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Wait, a mashed potato.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

It's not who blood.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Yeah, I don't want those things.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yeah, yeah, because they were good mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

They were, that's why I was like, wait, you didn't bring me mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

No, I couldn't ethically bring you mashed potatoes. We're not that you're you're not that bad. I don't know, these these could have a something in them. No, I would not do that to you. However, mom was very excited to plant a potato that's been growing roots. It's our beet plant.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

I love it. But yeah, uh, so what do we have next?

SPEAKER_02 17:15

We have to discuss if we want to do one or two more or just go straight to this the season finale.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Ah, yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

It's gonna be a quick season. But don't worry. Well, we're we're not done. We're not done. A lot of people got really sad when I said end of a season.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Oh god, no, no, no, no, no. Don't worry, there's more to come. Life is still happening. The end of the weddings, which is what we planned for. Uh, we just have to make sure we have the right weddings.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Yeah, so we're gonna discuss. We have a couple different weddings that we were also a part of, whether or not they're podcast worthy, and uh, so it'd be it will either be another random wedding or the series banana.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Bum bum bum.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

That one's probably gonna be a long one.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Um, yeah, that one you'll want to bring some popcorn for. Um, just because it will be long. It will be long and you'll want something to snack on.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Snack snack.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

And then we have an editor's corner coming up. But don't worry, we'll catch you guys up on all of that. Are you ready? Yep. Here's to me, here's to you, here's to us. Woo.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

See you next time. Bye.