Nobody Wants to Wait Anymore. Here's Why.

Nobody wants to wait anymore — and it's not laziness. It's that a lot of people have quietly stopped believing the future is real.

When tomorrow feels unreliable, delayed gratification stops making sense. Instant gratification doesn't just become tempting — it becomes rational. R.A. Thompson, author of Unbreakable Origins: Stair Pits, breaks down why patience and sacrifice are collapsing, and what it actually takes to build a life that moves forward.

In this episode:
Why delayed gratification only works when you believe the future can be better
How social media turns dopamine into a lifestyle and shallow validation into identity
Outrage and victimhood as performance — with no real responsibility attached
Participation trophies, losing, and why failure is where real self-esteem gets built
The difference between self-esteem from winning vs. self-esteem from responsibility
Sacrifice redefined — it's not giving something up, it's reprioritizing for something bigger
Why forgetting the past kills your ability to build a future
Gratitude, perspective, and what we're missing about opportunity

What's one thing you're willing to give up to move forward? Drop it in the comments.

📖 Get the book — darkly funny, raw, and impossible to put down:

👉 www.unbreakableorigins.com

Subscribe and share it with someone who still believes in the long game.

[00:00:00] Why The Future Matters
[00:06:39] Why People Stopped Trusting Tomorrow
[00:12:03] Social Media And Instant Dopamine
[00:19:06] How Lucky Americans Really Are
[00:27:12] Addiction Stories And Life Without Goals
[00:31:20] Use The Past To Build A Future
[00:34:33] Buy The Book And Subscribe

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

People aren't willing to give something up in order to go forward. The word I would use is future. At a the largest scale is what you're saying is we'll do something today and what we do today will make our future better or more possible. I think that people don't understand what they have because you're so focused on quote who you are. And if you're focused on who you are based upon what you want, that's cool because everybody wants a whole bunch of things. Shadow and light. It's something that happens in the stairpate zone. Thought I'd open today with what I think is a really good joke, and then we'll try to work into it. Please, absolutely. I don't know if I've ever told you this joke before. It's pretty good. So um this guy is uh sitting on an airplane, and uh light's supposed to take off. It's delayed a couple of minutes. And he's working on a crossword puzzle because that's like his hobby. He just loves doing crossword puzzles. And all of a sudden, down the gang plight, you know, the tube onto the airplane comes the Pope, the head of the Catholic religion. The Pope sits down next to him, and he can't believe it because he's very, very, very Catholic, and he's thinking, oh wow, I get to be with the Pope, I'll get to pray with the Pope. You know, maybe we'll get the Pope's autograph, this will be spectacular. Pope's exhausted and puts on his seatbelt and falls asleep. And the guy can't believe, oh wow, this the Pope is here listening to the Pope snore. This is fantastic. Pope wakes up, they have something to drink on, and out of the Pope's bag pulls out a crossword puzzle book. And he thinks, this is so cool. The pontiff does crosswords, I do crosswords. We'll have something to talk about, we'll become friends, I'm gonna buddy up with the Pope. Fly a little bit more, Pope says, excuse me. Um I'm kind of stuck here. I see you do crosswords, I do crosswords. I'm kind of stuck here. I need a four-letter word for woman ending in UN T. And uh the guy looks at him and says, Aunt.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

This is the best start to an episode, I think, that we have had so far.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

It's a pretty good joke. Impressive. Impressive.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Pretty good joke. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, keep going, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

So that that that's kind of pretty the whole joke. Yeah. Thank you very much. Tune in next week. Um, uh thank you for joining another exciting episode of Stair Pits, and I thought that uh I could at least start with an interesting joke.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

It is your podcaster. It is it.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

And I that's actually not my joke, it's somebody else's joke. Yeah. And I wish I could give them credit here, but I do like it. I think it's spectacular. For sure. And the nice thing is that you know it's as close as you can get to, you know, using profane language without anybody actually being upset. So it's kind of fun. So let me ask you this. Um I was thinking about this the other day. That what do you think? What do you think your generation's relationship is with delayed gratification? Let me back it up a little bit. What actually to you, what is delayed gratification?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

I think it's it's kind of that concept of making a decision. Kind of that concept of how do I say this? Um choosing between what you want now over what you want most, if that kind of makes sense. Where you're like, would you rather have instant gratification right now or delay it for a grander purpose, for the grander scheme of things? Um my generation's relationship with delayed gratification is possibly non-existent.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

I was gonna say it is, because I think my generation's my idea of delayed gratification is significantly different than that. Yeah. And so when you think about what is the what is the underlying thing that has to exist, what is the underlying condition that has to exist in order for delayed gratification to have any possible benefit?

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Uh the two things that come to my mind are sacrifice and patience.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Right. But that it's both of those things are important, and we'll get more into them as the episode progresses. But um let's take that a little bit more. There's something else that's a bigger picture that's missing from that.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

What would it be? I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Um You're playing football and there's six minutes left in the game. You're down by uh you're down by eight. Okay. Uh you kick you kick a field goal versus going for it on fourth and whatever. It's a makeable field goal, but you kick it. Okay. So at that point, what you're doing is you're you're taking what you can get at that point, right? And what is the assumption there? What are you assuming is going to happen?

SPEAKER_00 6:04

By doing that, you're assuming your defense is going to get a stop and your offense is going to be in a position to score one more time.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Right, exactly. So that's predicated on what? Um trust. To a degree, but also something else, something much more basic. Assumption. Yeah, but even more than that. It's it's based upon something really fun. But see, this is the thing that's interesting about it, is because I mean you're a smart man, you're a brilliant man, but you're missing the obvious word. And I think that that goes a long way towards things. Yeah. The word I would use is future.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

Right. Because what you're what you're at a the largest scale is what you're saying is we'll do something today, and what we do today will make our future better or more possible. Yes. Okay. Okay. But that idea of not having a relationship with the future means the possibility of delayed gratification makes no sense whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Right. Does that make I mean the correct? I mean, if you because if you don't believe that the future is going to work, then there's what what the hell? Or you don't there's no sense that the future could be better. Absolutely. Yes. And what do you think what do you think has contributed to killing the future off? Because my generation, my generation all believed in the future. And I think my generation came from a couple of points. Um my parents missed participating in World War II, but they had sacrificed tremendously leading up to World War II, and that they were told that if they sacrificed, if we won the war, then we would magically the future would be better. And when people came back from the war, things were significantly better. And so I think that idea of sacrificing for the future rewarded and every one of them believed in it. Right? Yeah. Is there in your generation, is there something that you have that kind of seminal moment where all of a sudden you could look at something where waiting for the future, sacrificing something today in order to go to the future, what is the thing that's that's that moment for your guys' generation?

SPEAKER_00 8:43

I'm not 100% sure, honestly, because I I don't think we I would say there's there's many of us in my generation that do have an eye towards the future, but we might be the generation that has the least amount of people looking towards the future in a singular population, a singular generation. A lot of people might my age are eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die, right? A lot of us receive the instant gratification from social media, from things like that. I mean, you look at how quickly trends, you know, rise and die. You look at how how quickly social media cycles through different things. A lot of it is the information we have at our fingertips, I think gives people more, provides people with more despair than it does hope. Right. And so you know, you are almost more prone to find bad things happening in the world rather than good things. Also, you look at my generation two and where we sit, um, you know, there's an argument to be made that that, you know, there are, you know, to break it down super basic, right? Two sides happening in the country right now. And you could argue they've never been more divided or the line's never been more clear on your sit on one side or you sit on the other. And I think both sides look at each other and they see the true gap in between, you know, ideologies, and they say, okay, there's there's no hope because we're we're so far apart at this point. That side's not willing to come to the table and and provide something for uh provide a middle ground, and our side isn't willing to come and make a compromise. Yeah. So what left is there?

SPEAKER_03 10:30

That's an interesting thing because you bring up you bring up a couple of points there that I think are really interesting. Um that idea of wanting, you know, instant gratification, you know, that there's no sense of delaying for anything. When you look at if you were to go through the internet, social media, and you were to weed out, let's say the whole poll, the whole pie of social media is this big, okay, and you were to go through and you were gonna purge all of the things that are people screaming that they are victims of one kind or another, and then you were gonna weed out all of the things that are just idiotic. So you're gonna take idiocy out and you're gonna take victimization out. What is the reduction in social media? Probably 60%. 60? You think only 60? We have a totally different view of what idiocy is. Yeah. What do you think it is, Caleb? I'm gonna go with 80. Yeah, so 60A, we'll call it maybe 70 split. But I think that that would be I'd feel pretty good at about 70 percent comes out of it. But I think that part of that is I think it comes back to a a a root when I kind of look at it. Where when I was growing up, you would eat everything on your plate because there were, quote, starving children in China or starving children in Europe. And in 1958, there weren't that many starving children in Europe because the war thing had ended pretty much and they were building it up, but there were starving children in China. And the idea that if you didn't eat, then you know, you were showing ingratitude and that you had to be respectful of what was actually on your plate. And the idea that I didn't like it was never going to just believe me, you just cleaned it. You just had to eat it. Did you ever have to deal with that? I mean, it was your Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Yeah, I grew up. I grew up in a household where it was, you know, hey, the you know, think of all the all the kids who have it worse than you, right? I mean, who have to fight for every meal. You guys have the privilege of never having to go through that. So if I was you, I would, it was highly, highly suggested that we eat everything on our plate, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

I I think that when you go from like that example, that it was, you know, it never had to be explained more than once or twice that you just cleaned everything off your plate. And then you go from like the big issue of making sure that you had enough to eat, that was an issue. And if you go back to like Victorian times, okay, in Victorian times, people in England on a inflation adjusted lived on about $1.20 a day. Okay. So I mean, totally different world. I mean, you're legitimately I mean you're boiling bones to try to get something out of them.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

And the idea of thin gruel was something very, very, very real. So when the idea of eating and being, you know, regular and a consistent food supply, something brand new. And so it went, I think, from making sure that you could eat. Then I think that the next thing that came into it was making sure that you got a college education. When I was growing up, the single most important thing was you have to get a college education because that will get you out of poverty into middle class and a chance at upper class. That was the it's gonna affect you in college, it's gonna affect you in college, it's gonna affect you in college. I mean, high school counselors would give you the, you know, oh my God, you sneezed in class and didn't cover your mouth. You know, that's gonna cost you a grade point average, you'll never get into college and you'll it'll affect your credit rating and you'll die. I mean, it was just I mean, everything could die at that point, that's really what it was. But, you know, that idea that you had to do all these things was just college was the single most important thing that you could have, and all activity was based upon that. And you know what it went from like food and then education were the number one things. Food is solving today's thing. Right? Education shows a relationship with the future, right? Because you're getting an education because of the future. Right. What was the next thing? What was the next big cultural dynamic for changing for raising children?

SPEAKER_00 15:18

Give me a time period.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Sixties happened early mid eighties and continued for about twenty years. You know you were probably a victim of it. I don't know. Okay? Participation trophies. Really? You couldn't lose. Okay. Right? Yeah. When I was growing up, if you played on a sports team and you won, that was good. Yes. And if you didn't win, then your coach thought you were pathetic and you'd be yelled at that you didn't do it. Yes. But the idea that you were ever supposed to, quote, have fun was immaterial.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

That you should have, you should win. Yes. And that was the entire thing. I mean, drills weren't particularly fun, but you did learn how to do things and you learned how to do things correctly.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

See, that that that's a that's a really interesting concept because for me, and I and I I believe I'm sure I fell into it even looking back, you know, yes, the focus was as a kid, you know, have fun, hopefully you win, you know, things like that. But it's funny because my generation looks at the generation younger than me, and we say they're the the participation trophy generation. It has gotten worse.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Yeah, no, it's gotten worse.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

From the time that I was younger, but I'm sure I was victim to it as well. Yeah. Um, but uh, but yeah, because for me it was hey, living and dying by the winner, the loss, nothing else matters. I don't want to see a trophy, I don't want to see a plaque if I win if I lost, right? Right. Um, but now, yeah, there is a total emphasis on let's just make sure everybody has fun, let's make sure everybody, you know, thinks that they won, things like that. Um, and I will add a caveat to my generation in the future as well, where the the people in my generation who do have hope or focus or look forward to a future specifically are the ones who have kids. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Like that, that is their total focus, is is prepare, trying to prepare a world, a future in which their kids can be functioning, successful adults. And so um my comment beforehand was me thinking as someone who doesn't have kids, whereas it is, you know, the I have a lot of friends and family, of course, that have kids that are forward-thinking and futuristically, you know, hopeful and optimistic, I would say. Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

I would agree with you because all children are. Children is just a bridge to the future, right? Because if you don't the second that you have a child, you start thinking about, well, what about tomorrow for the child? Yes. Right. And I think that that's where you get into a huge problem with things. That when you go from winning, when you go when you go from spending all this time practicing, all this money on a uniform or sports equipment or whatever it was, and you're gonna write that off as it doesn't matter if you achieve any goal. We're just doing it. It's just it's cosplay, right? I mean, we're getting you, you know, a pretty hat, we're getting you a pretty shirt, and you can go do whatever it is that you want to do. And if you win, that's fine. And if you don't win, that's fine, but nobody cares. And you know, you ask the kid, well, how did you do today? Well, I uh, you know, we lost 27 to 9. Okay, well, did you have fun? I don't know, we lost 27 to 9. And then they tried for a while, they tried to keep keeping score out of it, you know, so the kids wouldn't be stigmatized. Right. So then the answer is, how did you do today? Oh, well, we lost, we don't keep score. No, we lost 27 to 9. Well, uh no, we don't keep score. We lost 27 to 9. Okay. And that there might be some kids that were looking for grasshoppers on the ground that didn't know what the score was, but virtually everybody else on the team knew what it was. Yeah. And I think that takes us to the second problem that comes into things where you look at it went from you couldn't lose to you had to feel good about yourself, that not losing wasn't enough. And then you get into this concept of self-esteem. And when you get into self- Well, let me ask you this growing up, how would you define your self-esteem?

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Uh, pretty low. Um, mostly because of the adoption and things like that. Like mine was more more had to do with my self-worth, was tied to the fact my mom gave me up as a kid rather than you know, I was beaten down in other aspects of life.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

But how did you but how did you garner, how did you get any self- self-esteem? What was what was your path to it? Winning in sports. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

My whole personality was tied into finding something I was good at. If I won that day, that valued that I I have value as a person. If I lost that day, I don't matter. I don't have any value as a human being because I lost a sporting event. Because my whole identity was tied to that.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Then what would happen on so on the day after you lost? What happened the next day at practice?

SPEAKER_00 20:43

There was never I I probably still had tears in my eyes. Right. Um, and was was much more determined to become a better player than what I was the day before.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

So a little bit higher effort.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

A little bit maybe greater interest in listening to what the coach might have for telling. So there was a sense that you could make those things that that that losing actually made you better.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Yes. Oh, 100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

No, I and I tend to agree with that. I I think one of the things that's interesting whenever you interview somebody, you know, it's always like when you ask great questions on interviews. One of my personal favorite interviews questions is tell me something you didn't succeed at. And the person that can't tell you something that they didn't succeed at never tried anything. Because the reality is everybody failed. If they said you couldn't, I never, you know, I never failed at anything. So what you're telling me is that you stood up and walked one day and never fell, that you didn't need diapers, you immediately understood how to work a toilet, you know, that you never got a speeding ticket, you know, no one ever told you no to anything. You've been a hundred percent perfect. It's like you in Christ.

unknown 21:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Right, okay, so it's I mean, it's cool if that's the case, then then there should be infinitely more messiahs based upon that assumption. But I think that well, let me ask you this. When you look at the the underlying thread, the underlying substance that lifted you up, what was the what was the fabric of your self-esteem um carrier?

SPEAKER_00 22:38

The fabric of my self-esteem carrier.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

Yeah, like what was the thing that you that defined you had a r you had a particular um attribute attribute to the rest of your team. What was it that you had?

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Black skin.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

No, no, no, that works. No, cool. No, yeah, so token. I mean, so that's really what it was. Just like your job here, you check the box.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. Um, probably just like um um growing up at least, you know, in my in my more adolescent years, it was my it was being competitive.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Right, being competitive.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

I I was all I was usually, you know, I I tried to be at least the most competitive person in the room. I mean, I'm the guy who whether it is checkers or whether it is a full football game, like if if I win, no one will be happier. If I lose, tables are getting flipped, you know, maybe there's gonna be grappling on the floor afterwards, no matter what it is.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

So stereo.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

So I I looking back, I should have taken stereo. I should I should have started down that path earlier. Um, but uh, but yeah, probably just my my competitive drive for greatness, which again simply had to do with hey, I have to prove that I am good enough in life. And in my head, the only way to prove that was the wins and losses on a scoreboard. Right. So I had to put in every ounce of effort and energy that I had into producing something that I thought was was good enough and worthy enough that people could look at it and say, yeah, I think he's good enough.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

And so is uh maybe another way of looking that is that you had responsibility to your team. Did you ever feel that way?

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Oh, 100%. Yeah, like every every every time we and it's funny because I look back as a young kid after playing in college football, I realized, oh yeah, like you know, I can be as good as I want to, but it takes other cogs and the clock in order to be successful on any given play, let alone in a full football game.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

But when in my younger years, I'm like, hey, if we lost, hand up, boys, that's on me. Like that, I like that that was because I wasn't good enough today.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

That's why, you know, even if you know, I had a really good stat line, but we lost the game, I could always look back and say, yep, I can pick out three or four things that I could have done better to affect the game in a more positive way that could have led us to a win.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Right. But I think the way of looking at that is that that is that's the sense of responsibility. 100%. Yeah. That if you're committed to doing something, then it's much easier to do that thing, right? Because at that point, there's clearly defined examples or steps that you can take to become better. Yes. And I think that if you live in a world of immediate gratification, since all that matters is exactly what I need today. You know, what I need today right now is an incredible hit of dopamine. So what I'll do is I'll take out my phone and I'll see, you know, if somebody sent me a text or if there's something that will make me happy or something that will elicit some emotional response in what I'm doing, versus deriving a sense of the value of a handshake that we might have at the end of this show, of saying that, hey, we put on a good show. Okay. And I think that when you look at it, what are the responsibilities that a person has whose life is based upon um immediate gratification? What's the only responsibility they have?

SPEAKER_00 26:40

Finding the next sense of gratification. Right. I would feel like.

SPEAKER_03 26:43

Yeah, absolutely. It's like, what is the next thing I can do that will give me some immediate sense of value?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

And I don't know, in your universe, what is that? I mean, within the universe of young people today, what is that? That's a great question.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

I mean, I think it would be a lot of it tied to what's the next thing I can put on social media to get likes, to get to get gratification from maybe people I don't even know, right? And to just just be out there on the internet in the ether to get likes, get rec, you know, um uh recognized, get um praise for whether it's something itty idiotic that I did, whether it's something in the sports realm, whether it's something that I said talking into a microphone that might have been somewhat profound, the people might might have found was cool. But I think the the number one instant gratification is our activity on social media to get likes and praise for anything that we put out there.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

But I think that the the key piece on that is it's likes and praise from people that don't give a shit and will never look at you. Yes. You know, like for instance, um, you know, if I had a great clip, and if I looked into and said, you know, I'm 68 years old, I'm successful, and I have a right to be proud. And you put that out there, no one gives a shit. Right? Yeah. If you look into the camera and say, you're 68, you're white, and you're happy to be proud, people will think that you're lying.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

It might get a lot of clicks, though. It would get a lot of clicks. People would be like, just try it. People be like, We got a camera. I know, I know. People would be like, Man, what the hell is it? Just try it. All of a sudden that you I'm 68 years old, I'm Caucasian, and I'm very successful, and I'm proud of that.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

See? That's gold.

unknown 28:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Hopefully that doesn't turn into a clip there.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

Of course it's going to be. No. Caleb, is that is that is that one more of the sequence circled from clip bait? That's that's the one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

That's the one we don't need out there. No, that's not so.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

But but the thing is, it proves a great point. Right? The great point is that if you say that on it, people will think that it's a joke and they think it's ridiculous. Yeah. But the reality is you looking into the camera and saying, I'm 28, I'm black, I'm successful, and I'm proud, is just as stupid because who the hell cares? Yes. So here's a guy that's proud and is successful. Yay. Yeah. So someone's going to take, I don't know how many calories it takes to, you know, hold your phone. Let's say you hold your phone in your right hand, and then you take your left hand from your side, and you go up and you click the right button and then you go to the next thing. So is that like more than 20 calories?

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Maybe, if that. If that.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

I mean, it's nothing, right? So the fact is that somebody looked at it and they're virtuing signaling and they're clicking it and they're going forward. That somehow has meaning to people? I mean, that somebody thought enough of you that they use their index finger, you know, to be able to touch a piece of glass to make, you know, that's the same thing of like when you were two years old and you know, the pastry case was there, and mommy said, which one do you want? You know, that's the same answer.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

That is very true. I never thought of it like that. That is very true.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

You just you tap in the pastry case and oh, goody, goody, goody. And then, you know, because you know the guy's bringing you the different one. No, no, I want that one. Well, congratulations, dude. Your life is really stepped up. Yeah. Versus the other thing of you know, somebody tells you that they have their own business and they're doing it and they can't, you know, they can't go out and do something with you that weekend because they have to work. Does anybody, you know, upclick that one?

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Probably, I mean, depends on the business. But but the but the butt but in the in the gener in that general. Okay, well, so Santa Claus is going to get an upclick. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

You know, you know, Max, I'd oh, I'd like to uh go out and but I've been working my ho ho hoes and uh reindeer are all pretty much grooved.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Can't do it on the 25th, maybe next week.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

Okay, so Santa obviously has to kind of deal with that for sure. But most people, I mean, if you have a uh window washing business and you can't do it because you're washing windows, you don't get a click for that. Who cares?

SPEAKER_00 31:31

Yeah, yeah, I don't care. Like that that that is life, yes. And and and I will say too, I mean, as someone who who is part of the generation giving my opinions on what it is, a lot of this is I've fallen victim to this too. Oh, everybody has. I mean, I mean, where it's like, hey, you know what? Let's see how many, you know, my gratification comes on likes and clicks and views and and and things of that nature. Like, like, I like don't don't don't at all think that I am I am immune from from from that. I mean, you know, I I'm on social media all the time. I'm active, I see what what people are putting out there, and and it is it is so interesting because a lot of us is I know there are some people that might not, but a lot of us sit there and we know that hey, social media is fake because 99.8% of us only put the best version of ourselves out on social media, which that's not really who we are, right? There, there's a whole other side to everybody who puts themselves out on social media that it's like, okay, like that, like that's really cool that you are good at this or that you're funny, or that these things, but also there's a backside and a hard side to everyone as well. And so it's kind of like you sit there and you're like, you know, a lot of it is oh my gosh, like, because you know, it can become poisonous from the fact of you envy someone, right? You envy different people that you see on social media that might be viewed as popular or successful through whatever lens you might view popularity or success through. But, you know, what was it? Was I think it was Mark Twain who said comparison is the thief of joy, right? And we are comparing ourselves to someone that is only showing the best parts of themselves to us. Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

I would even say I would boil that down a little bit more. I would say you're comparing yourself to someone that's trying to manipulate you.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

I respect that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

Right. Because if you look at it, the professional victim person who's crying about whatever it is or who's just screaming because they're so upset about something. In my generation, if somebody would have screamed about whatever it was that they were just screaming in some unadulterated, you know, 20-second, you know, ah scream on it, I mean in my generation, the child that tried that behavior would learn the taste of the back of the hand extremely quick. For sure. It just wasn't going to happen. And now that you have people that are much older that are just the only way that they can do something is by screaming. Well, if you're that incapable of doing something that not having your way is going to cause you to scream uncontrollably, well, you know, honey, just, you know, I'm sorry that that's really bad. We'll bring you an extra special apple tomorrow. You know, that's all you can say. It's just, I mean, you can pity that person more than anything else. Yeah. And I and I think about that like what what kind of responsibility do they have? Is there a responsibility to be permanently upset? I mean, is that is that a con is that a relationship that anybody enters into? Like, hi Max, I was thinking, you know, we have a good time together, but what I bring to this relationship is being permanently upset. Are you gonna sign on to that? Doesn't sound very enjoyable. What if I promise to be more upset on some days? Sounds less enjoyable than the first one. What if I'm too upset to even respond to that? There's not a lot left to say, is there? I'm gonna sulk. That's the other thing I do. I can be upset or I can sulk. For sure. Okay. So, but but the answer is no one in their right mind would do that. Yeah. And what are you raging about today? Honey, don't rage. Go out and do something. You know, and I think I think that that sense that going back to one of the things you said, like what is the future? I think that one of the problems is people don't understand where they're sitting and what they're getting. For instance, if you live in by definition of living in the United States of America, what percentage of wealth are you at on the entire planet? I have no idea. Uh yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Percentage of wealth?

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Yeah. Like the US as a whole, or you as Max Christensen III, or as I like to say, 1103. Thank you. Okay. So 1103. Yeah. Okay. What percentage of wealth do you represent when in comparison to the other nine billion people on the planet?

SPEAKER_04 36:36

Half of a percent.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

Yeah, so the top one half of a percent. Sure. Caleb, what's your number? I'd say top ten percent? Yeah. The correct number is like top three three-tenths of a percent. Really? Yeah. Top three-tenths of the percent, and you're bitching that somebody else, the top two or the top one-tenth of a percent, are somehow better off than you.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:03

I mean, go to some place where people are truly I mean, well, if you look at this, back when you were on your mission, did you I mean I mean, if you had your choice of going back and living there or living here, would I notice you I mean, I don't know, you have gonna show up next week or do you already borrow your playing ticket or yeah, yeah, no, I think I'll I think I'll be sitting right here in in this happy chair next week.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

Yeah. Well, particularly if you look at it, we went to great extents to get a globe. Absolutely. Fake plant and a lot. No, wait, the new backdrop's awesome. Yeah. No. Now we have two flake plants. I mean, that one's a real plant, probably. So I have a fake plant and a real plant. It's pretty good. Just like in the show here, fake plant, real plant. There you go. Yeah. Um but the I think that people don't understand what they have because you're so focused on quote, who you are. And if you're focused on who you are based upon what you want, that's cool. Because everybody wants a whole bunch of things. One of my personal favorite responses when I would babysitter when I would try to work with young people and they would tell me that they would want things. I have the great answer to it. Would you like to hear what it is? Yeah. Tell me that you want something.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

Um I would like an ice cream comb, please. How does it feel to want? Pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Then we're there.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Yeah. See? I mean, yeah, it feels feels much better to want than to need.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

Yeah, absolutely. Right. And that's just but the answer is it's so good. Everybody wants things. Congratulations, get in line. Yeah. You know, and I I think that the the sense is that people don't recognize that being responsible is the only way to actually make yourself even remotely happy. Because if you're responsible and you're able to do something, you're able to successfully play a role, then you will naturally be happy. Right? And then, furthermore, if you're responsible and you recognize what needs to be done, it often involves the thing that you said earlier, which is correct, which is sacrifice. That the number one thing that people don't understand is that you have to sacrifice to go forward. And people tend to think they don't know what sacrifice means, first of all. And what let me ask you so what does sacrifice mean?

SPEAKER_00 39:33

I mean, I think it it you know, very simply giving up something that you want or need. I think it can go it can go either way.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

Something that you want or need. So if I give up my desire to be the first emperor of Neptune, that's a sacrifice.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Very basic. I could argue I could make an argument as of yes, but no.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

So so wait, wait, so wait, so you're saying Hey, the first emperor of a planet that no one's been to. Yes. Okay, that's not really a sacrifice. Yeah. And we agree that that's kind of just yes, yeah. So I don't think that necessarily giving up what you something that you want isn't necessarily a sacrifice. That's just refocusing. Okay. And I think that, see, I think the part of the problem is that people conflate words. You know, that retargeting isn't necessarily sacrificing.

unknown 40:39

Right.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

But I think that that's the problem, that people don't put it together in the right way. So what is a sacrifice?

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Giving up something that you desire. Nope. Giving up something that you need. Giving up some I mean, I mean, giving up, I mean, or even, I don't know, um. I think sacrificing can also be um doing something that you don't want to do, but that you know is that you will benefit someone else in a better way as well.

SPEAKER_03 41:15

You know Is that charity or is that sacrificing?

SPEAKER_00 41:26

I think I think that's charity is is doing it when you want to. Sacrificing is doing it when you when you don't want to, but you do it anyways.

SPEAKER_03 41:41

Let me give you a different version. Okay. And let me think what you think it is here. Is sacrificing reprioritizing? Yeah. And I think at its basis, right, that's what sacrificing is. That, you know, when you look at the sports example, that you know, you could blow the guy up in front of you and get into the backfield, but if they're running wide, I mean you're in the backfield, you knock the guy down. Congratulations, it didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

Okay. However, if you stay with the guy and string him up, or if you keep the guy in a position where the the other guard can't pull, then you've done something where you've you've reprioritized your behavior to achieve a different goal. And I think that's what pra what sacrifice is. And then if you reprioritize correctly, you recognize that there are things that you don't need and other people could benefit from having those things. And I think that, you know, the simplest way of showing that people have a natural capacity to sacrifice, if you were holding, you know, a turtle in this hand and a bowling ball in this hand, and all of a sudden, you know, I threw you know a pound and a half bar of pure gold at you, you would drop one of the two and catch the the gold. Yes. Okay. Buy both.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

Yeah, probably. Yeah, that would be it. Yeah, right. That would be it. Yeah. If you're if you're slinging gold bars around, yeah, right, yeah. Hey, I can buy another turtle. I can, you know, I can give it away.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

The answer is this, but you would figure it out at that point. I mean, if this flu kid's turtle, you might drop the bowling ball. For sure. You know, if it was somebody who didn't like's turtle or just, you know, a turtle that was currently defecating on your hand and you catch it, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Unless it was one of the turtles out here in the desert that are precious turtles, yeah. You'll you'll get, you know.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

Yeah, you pick it up and vacate, I think is the word they use.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

You'll you'll you'll you'll get your house uh foreclosed on if uh yeah if uh you run over a turtle out here.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

So yeah, because yeah, vacate is a much better word than piss all over you. There you go. Which is like many words, but it's the same concept. But but I think that I think that's where a lot of the things come down to is that people Aren't willing to give something up in order to go forward. And an example is that if your self-gratification is the single most important thing in your life, and you're not willing to give that up to accidentally help someone else or to serve someone else, then you will never be happy because then you're, oh my God, I didn't get enough clicks, oh my God, I didn't get enough likes, or somebody else, you know, screamed louder and longer than I did, or somebody else has, you know, more exotic looking hair than I do, or whatever else it was that I did, that that's never going to work because you're just chasing, you're chasing more. You're chasing something. You have a basket that doesn't have a bottom to it.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

So you need to put things in it and it just goes straight out the back side. Or the worst is that, well, I gave this person 47 clicks up and I posted something and it's been 18 minutes and they haven't upgraded, they haven't clicked me positive yet. What's wrong with them? They hate me. You know, and it's not the fact, well, they, you know, might have been in an accident or they might be going to the bathroom or something, and it's they might have had an accident in the bathroom. There's all sorts of things that could happen. Just not one. But um but that idea that you get into that phase that you don't necessarily you can't see a relationship, you don't have a relationship with the future. You don't see a way that you can go forward, you don't see a way you can do anything. And I guess the reason I kind of want to bring that up, if you look at Stairpook's the book, there's the example that well, I mean when you look at it who of the character of either my mother or stepfather in the book, which one of them had uh did what did you feel their relationship with the future would was?

SPEAKER_00 45:59

Not great. I think they they had a lot of focus on immediate gratification, on personal gratification, right? Because as a lot of alcoholics and addicts do, right? Where it is, like you said, uh in the past episodes, not a lot of food in the house because the priority was cigarettes, yes, cigarette and and and beer.

SPEAKER_03 46:19

Yeah, cigarettes and liquor, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

Yeah, and so which is instant gratification. Yeah, absolutely, right? And so so I I think their their relationship in the in the with the future, my guess would be was pretty dampened. Was was they they were kind of seeing one step in front of them instead of even though they had kids, yeah, right? Even though they had kids who had a chance at having a future, they were just looking at the ground, making sure they didn't step, you know, into a pothole, maybe in the with their next step rather than, hey, I gotta look a hundred yards in front of me because I got a kid I gotta take care of.

SPEAKER_03 46:55

One of my personal favorite things was when they would get down to the end of um a bottle and there wouldn't be enough for a second drink, that they would just leave the bottle on the counter for somehow the magic liquor genie to come and fill it up. And then they would have fights about who had to go get the next bottle. Really? It was just spectacular. Wow. And then later I learned something um that was really kind of interesting about it was um at an office, I worked in an office for a while in uh San Francisco, and from my desk I could see um the guys that were street people or bums that had a drinking problem on it. And what they would do is they would go to bars and they would get all the bottles that the bars had thrown out for the day. They'd have them like either in bags or, you know, stolen shopping carts or whatever, and they'd bring them someplace and they'd have a fire going. Then they'd get a little bit of water, they'd put it into it, they'd swirl it around, and then they'd use a coat hanger to put it over the fire to try to get that to get the liquor with the water and warm water loose enough that it would then, you know, would then come down because there'd be residue on the inside of the bottle, right? They'd get that all of it off of it. Then they'd have this bottle, they'd then get a towel, right? They'd hold it with a towel so they didn't burn their hands. They'd then take the towel around their neck and pull it into their mouth and bring it back so that they could drink. They're burning the shit out of their lips. Yeah. But that got enough liquor into them that they could stand up and do something. Oh my goodness. And it was like there's a genius pathos that goes to that. That's, you know, at a certain level, the fact that no one taught them how to do it was kind of amazing. Somebody figured it out, and then, you know, that that community all learned the shtick of how to deal with this right. And at the same point, that lack of the future, I mean, and again, somebody at that level has no future. It's like, well, what am I, you know, their future is, well, I'm still alive, that's kind of amazing. Yeah. Four seconds later, hey, I'm still alive, kind of amazing. See if I can go maybe eight seconds without looking to see if I'm still alive, but hopefully I will be. But when I look at my parents, same kind of thought, that it would never occur to them that, you know, they were down to two cigarettes and they just took one. So that meant once that last cigarette was taken, we'd have no cigarettes.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

And that might be the time to go to the store if you're gonna buy more cigarettes, to just buy more cigarettes, right? But that occurred when, what do you mean you took the last cigarette? What do you mean I well, I want well, you weren't it's like what you couldn't see in the future that there was a fight, right? There was a fight that was gonna occur. You couldn't get to it. And I think that if there's a value in my book, and it's always hard when you're looking at things to determine what is the value of things, but I think that the value of the book is it shows a couple of contrasts. One is it shows what happens, what is the potential for happiness or calmness or family or anything when you have no relationship with the future. And I think it also shows, on the other hand, if you're just trying to figure out something, if you're just if you have a goal, if you're trying to do something, then the chances of you having a life go up tenfold, because then at least you can say that there are goals along the way. And I think the story, the first book, the story is that all of a sudden I kind of have goals. And there's no example of anybody really providing me what goals are, but there was a certain understanding that there was an effect from everything that I did. And I think that's I think that's like a universal truth for all people, is that when we're not you know, if we're not doing something, we'll invent problems. And if we are doing something, we have enough problems to keep us busy. Right? And I think that's the answer that if you're just sitting around looking for a reason to be pissed off, you'll find reasons to be pissed off. And I wonder what what could be the thing that that could drive people forward? And I think one of the things that drives people forward, when you look at when you were saying the number of people that believe, well, everybody has everything else and there's no way I'll ever have it, and the chances are will you be as rich as Elon Musk? Probably not.

SPEAKER_00 52:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:23

Will you be as rich as Bill Gates? Probably not. But if you look at this example where if everybody who saved um an hour by using some piece of Microsoft software, if they had to give Bill Gates one penny for every hour that they saved as a result of having a computer doing it versus them doing it, would Gates have more money or less money?

SPEAKER_00 52:53

Probably more money.

SPEAKER_03 52:54

Yeah. And so you're bitching about a guy that is selling you one penny an hour. Okay? To me, that's jealousy. Yeah. Right? I mean, just kind that's kind of a get over it. For sure. And so it's yeah, people will have more than you. People always have more than you. They have more something than you, and there are people out there that have less something than you. So don't worry about that. Instead, look about what you're actually doing. And if all you're doing is just holding the door open for somebody and saying, have a nice day. There's something about that that means that's good. I mean, you're doing something for somebody else and you can see the results of it. And people say, Well, you don't get paid much for doing that. Well, you probably don't, because it's kind of a stupid job, and you could train a monkey to do it. And so who cares? But the fact is, do something. And you might not like it, but the answer is you're not going to go from uh degree in you know applied victimhood um to making, you know, a quarter of a million dollars a week. You're not that that's just not a realistic career path. But the fact is you could come up with something that you could do.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

And there's zillions of things that you could do. Like the guy that made a straw, and I don't even want to talk about the embarrassment of the straw, we'll have to come up with a better answer. Maybe your prize was a better prize. I shouldn't have cut you off. Now I feel bad. But no, but but the fact is, now I'm over it. That was like a really difficult two-section. Yes, absolutely. But I feel much better now. But you know, the guy that invented the straw did a great job. I don't know how much he made. He probably didn't make nearly as what she should have, but straws are an amazing thing, and somebody made them. And people make things all the time. Make something. Even if it's not particularly good, somebody might tell you that it could get better, figure out why, how it could get better. And I think that's the that's one of the fundamental things I think that my book does is it gives an example of what happens when there aren't goals, what is the result? And then it happens as to, you know, what happens when there might accidentally be goals or there might be something that comes together. And even um, well, like in one part of the book, one of my favorite things that I remember was my first experience with my stepfather, was you know, taking a toasted English muffin and trying to turn that into some exotic lunch thing was, you know, really? That's that that that's your secret, huh? You got bread, you toasted it, put peanut butter and jelly on it. Dude, you're like a scientist. Yes. You know, but I mean, at a certain point he's trying to do something, but the level of commitment that he made that, you know, he was going to be talking to, you know, his fiance's child on his first day with them, you might accidentally try to have spent five minutes thinking about what that experiment would be like or what that experience would be like, and there is nothing to it. And I think that's the those are the kind of things that you can look at it is what is your relationship to the future? How do you strengthen your relationship to the future? And that your the strength of your relationship in the future will give you some direction as going forward. And I think that one of the things, well let me ask you this, is people's lack of belief in the future, is that one of the tools that they use to discount the past?

SPEAKER_00 57:04

I think so. I think that you can you can definitely make an argument as to you know, you can discount your past by saying there is no future, so what I did back there doesn't really matter anyways. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 57:14

And there's no reason to even think about it. Yeah. Right. Because if the only thing that's going to bring me pleasure is logging on to Estonian polydectal, you know, dwarf porn, which is, by the way, really, really hot. Um polydactyl is people that were born with an extra finger. And I mean, until you've seen it, Max, I mean you're laughing now, but God, it's really good. Okay, but the um but the You're thinking, how can I get a subscription, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 57:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna reach out to a couple people for sure.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

Yeah, that's it. And and the Lithuanian's not as good. Okay. Yeah, they're just they're their hair is too stringy. But it's um but no, but you know, if you're gonna go out there and come up with something that's totally ridiculous, if that's the only focus that you have, then what are you, you know, what are you doing? And if you don't believe that there's the future, you can't have a past. If you don't have a past, then there's no capacity to learn to go forward. The fact that every problem that you have is a brand new problem. And that the, you know, history, the thousands of years of history behind you has no answer. No one else has ever had that problem before. No one was ever hungry before. No one was ever lonely before. No one was ever bored before. No one was ever hurting before. No one ever lost anything before. There's not a single person that's ever experienced that. And so as a result, all the crap that happened before means nothing. Yeah. First person that's ever, I mean, I am on the top of the pinnacle of emotional and, you know, experiential universe, and it's so rare up here that I'm the first person that's ever done it. And I think that the person that's never read, the person that's never bothered to see the value of the past, has no con has no self-awareness and has no sense of the future. Yeah. And as a result of that, that's why they're miserable.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

And a way to not be miserable and to gain a sense of self and to gain a sense of the future?

SPEAKER_03 59:27

By the book.

SPEAKER_00 59:29

Read stair pits.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

Very good.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

Bought at UnbreakableOrigins.com today.

SPEAKER_03 59:34

That's right. That's what you thank you very much for plugging the book. It made it seem like the whole philosophical thing actually ended in a shameless plug. I love it. It's the way the world should work. So, anyway, that's what we have. Max, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for tuning in. Uh, I hate it when people on website things, you know, or podcasts say subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. I think it's kind of stupid. So I don't want to say it. Please subscribe to this podcast. Um see, that's really what it is. That's the advantage of having a relationship with somebody that Max will just do the uns just the things that I can't quite bring myself to do. Absolutely. So thank you very much, Max, for encouraging people to subscribe, which is something that I don't think I would personally feel comfortable doing. No problem. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Have a good day.