Paradigm Shift Podcast: Relationships & Dating In 2026

Join Rob & Jesse as they explore the problem for both men & Women when it comes to dating In 2026, The Issues On Both sides can be very strange, Don't Miss this deep dive into dating & much more

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

All right, guys, welcome back to the Paradigm Shift. We had a little bit of a hiatus as I was on a little bit of a business trip out in Las Vegas for about nine days. I am back now. I am Big Rob, of course, back with Jesse, my partner of crime. What's going on, buddy?

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Hey man, just been uh holding it down while you were away. Um ready to go for today's episode. I know this one is a bit of a loaded topic with a lot of opinions, a lot of views, and we're here to hurt some feelings. So let's get it going.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

All right. So we're gonna on we're gonna kind of expand on the dating world in 2026. Um, now there's a lot of there's a lot of, you know, he said, she said stuff that's going on. I mean, there's a lot of speculation on the fact that men have essentially walked away from dating and marriage, and they're focused on uh themselves for the most part, right? Uh now that is an effect of a cause. And on the flip side of that coin, um, it is very stereotypical, and again, we don't want to glaze over everybody, but uh there is a stereotype for women that they have started to view dating as a financial transaction instead of trying to build a family, trying to build uh turn a house into a home, right? And again, just like with men, that is a cause. What is the effect? Why is this stuff happening? Or sorry, that's an effect, not a cause. I had that backwards, right? What's the cause of men and women approaching dating in 2026? What's the cause of these effects? Because for every uh action, there's a reaction, right? What's the root of the problem? Uh, where should we even begin? Should we start with men?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Sure, why not, right? We're guys, we can start there.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Exactly. Um, for me personally, uh we're fortunate, by the way, because we're both in relationships that uh that we got into before these problems kind of started, right? Um so with men, what I'm what I'm seeing, every I see a lot of content on this stuff, right? Men have essentially said that there is no benefit for a man in marriage anymore. Right? You go into a high-stakes relationship where you put everything on the line financially, you get to lose over half of what you have if it doesn't work out on the whim of a woman. If she decides one day because her friends tell her she should just divorce you, uh, because there's bigger, there's better things out there, you lose half your shit, uh, you lose custody of your children, and at the end of the day, divorce affects men on a mental and emotional level far greater than I think women realize. That's why probably one of the one of the contributing factors to um the higher on a live rate when it comes to men. Right?

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

We have to say it that way, otherwise, you know, the algorithm won't uh like us very much. So what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Um, you know, I would have to think of my well, I I would have to first think of my friends that have been divorced here or there, right? Um I know in one of one of the relationships in that scenario, he was kind of the golden goose. And you know, it would I don't know if you've seen this in your life, but you see it sometimes where uh one of your friends will pair up with a chick and she's like crazy and she like alienates him from everybody friends, family, everyone, right? So, so my particular friend, he had um uh somebody like that, and they got married and they had a kid, and on top of that, their kid um had some special needs, right? So there was always kind of this stress. But the weird thing was is he was traveling all the time, and so the relationship kind of went on, I think, because he wasn't there, right? And I've I've seen a few of these where the relationship will go on and on and on because they're really not together, you know, very often. And um, in that scenario, it just it got worse and worse and worse, and you know, every everything he did uh irritated her in that scenario, and uh, and finally he filed for divorce on that one, and that was probably five to let's say eight years ago, and in the time sense, um that this is this is how well she made out on that deal, okay? He paid her like three to four hundred grand, she got half of their house, paid off Mercedes, all these things, right? And uh, and in the time sense, she took him to court and they're still in court, and and they just keep going round and round and round and round. And you know, they're her attorney will file something, and then his attorney has to respond. And, you know, it's probably already cost her 75 grand, 100,000 or more. I don't even know what they're arguing about at this point. And with him, his attorney says stuff like, hey, well, if you pay me a 50,000 flat fee, uh, then that incentivizes me to get your case done, and and you won't have to pay more, right? You know, and of course he's paid it. So, you know, between the two of them, they're just like flushing money down the toilet. In the meantime, you know, they have the kid that they share custody of. Um just a uh train wreck of a relationship, I think, on that one. And in the meantime, he actually got remarried. And when he remarried uh because of the kid with the special needs, the new wife had to get certain certifications or whatever to be around her. And the old wife is even more mad, hence the lawsuit. Um, all I gotta say is thank God I'm not in that situation.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Uh well, there's a there's this there's something my wife refers to as parallel play. Right now, I'm not sure if you know what that is or not. And I didn't before I met her, I'll tell you that much. But basically, as a relationship grows, right, one of the problems is that people are constantly, especially nowadays, looking for that dopamine hit. They're looking for that the lust honeymoon phase of a relationship. And when it starts to fizzle and it starts to kind of retrace to parallel play, which essentially is being able to have your own interests and your own kind of hobbies or whatever it is that you do, being able to go go away from each other and come back, be able to trust each other that you're going to be loyal and all that stuff when you when you go out, when you go do whatever it is you're going to do, or even if you're in the same building, if you're in the house, you don't necessarily constantly have to be in the same room together, right? Uh, you could be downstairs watching the movie, and she could be upstairs doing something as well. And that's called parallel play. And when you start to kind of evolve into that stage of a relationship, that's where the instant gratification people of this generation start to bail and go, Well, I mean, I'm not just not important anymore, so I'm just gonna go. Not realizing that actually what's happening is your relationship is deepening and evolving to a point where uh you don't necessarily always have to be around each other, but you still have each other's backs, you're still there, you're still building something together, right? Um, and I I wasn't familiar with the term parallel play before I met my wife, and it makes all the sense in the world now. Like we spend barely any time together during the day, and I'm not saying don't spend any time together, but we're perfectly fine. Like I said, I just got back from Vegas for nine days, she didn't give a crap, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Not in the real you weren't there because the door is always shut, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Exactly. Right? I'm in my office, but but it's like you know, she misses me while I'm gone, and we'll talk while I'm gone and stuff like that. But we have that healthy relationship where you know it's like I I just got back from Japan, and then I went to Arizona, and then I went now, I just got back from Las Vegas, and uh, you know, it's not well you're you're never here, it's it's never that. It's you know, I come home to my favorite meal, I come home to a clean house, I come home to a welcoming family, and you know, I'm not coming home to another battle. And I think that that's that's I think what women don't understand about men is that men need two things in a relationship, that's it, and they're different things than women need. Men need your husband needs respect and appreciation in his own home. That's it. Right if he has those two things, he will move mountains for you. The minute you start to disrespect him and not appreciate him in his own home, his own home becomes no longer a sanctuary, and he starts to seek that respect and appreciation somewhere else, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Yeah, I can see that. I can see that, you know, and my buddy who was the golden goose, that that's a hundred percent true. And it it just where it would really go bad was when they were both there together. Like I said, like when he was gone, everything was fine. But but then then when they were together is when it went really bad. Um, but I think, you know, I think today, and some of this is cultural, right? Some of it's technology based, I think, truthfully. Like, you know, everybody's got a short attention span now, right? You know, I mean, no matter what it is, it's like you're you're scrolling endlessly. You only can look at something for like 10 seconds, you're done. You know, I think I think we have a really um we've got like a throwaway culture, you know, it's like use it, toss it, get rid of it, you know, onto the next. And I don't know if a lot of people really do hard work anymore. You know, I mean, like I I try to I try to emphasize that like at our house, like, you know, when the going gets tough, we're we're gonna get right in the middle of it. Like, let's let's go. Like we're not we're not drawing the blinds and getting in bed, and you know, we'll worry about it tomorrow. Like, no, like like we're gonna roll up the sleeves, we're gonna get this thing knocked out, and then we'll be better on the other side. And I think I think that's true in relationships, it's true in dating. I mean, I I think if you can get past those challenging times, and usually the other side is even better, you know.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

I agree. I think that men and women have different strengths, and it always irks me when people, you know, are like, well, we're equal. We're not. We're we're we're equal, but in different ways.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

We're complimentary, you know.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Yes, exactly. Thank you. It's you know, women are like, you know, you some women are like, Well, I can do anything, but we do you're not supposed to do what a man can do, right? I'll give you an example. You know, men are in their when when you have a women, a woman who's standoffish with her man, you're entering, you're you're entering a level of masculinity. When you're getting in your man's face and you're arguing with him and you're fighting with him and stuff, he doesn't know what to do with that, right? Because you are designed, you are designed with femininity, right? That is your superpower. And my wife has it in spades. When I'm upset about something, whether I'm angry or you know, at her or somebody else's situation, she has this magic ability to just walk up, put her hands on mine, and talk softly to me, and I it just goes away, man. It's just I'm not angry anymore, right? Uh, whether I'm if I'm even when I'm wrong, and she just but the way that she delivers it, she's flexing her femininity, her her gift, right? What makes her special as a woman, and she's designed that way. All women are designed that way, they have that ability to control a man and his emotion like that, right? We're built that way, man.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Yeah, yeah, I think I think so. Um I like that way of looking at it. Like, I don't know if um, you know, I I I know both of us are you know on X Twitter, you know, here and there. I don't know if you've noticed this on X, and maybe it's just X, or maybe it's cultural, or I don't know. It's kind of hard to say. But there's a lot of content on there that's like that manosphere type of shit. You know, you know what I'm talking about? Like it's it's like uh that Andrew Tate, like he's like, you know, the biggest British asshole there is, or wherever he's from, you know, somewhere in Europe. And there's kind of like this like this like meat head uh what's that?

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Obey me type attitude.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Yeah, in a way, you know, it's it's just like this this weird like meathead mentality of just sort of treating somebody like crap and then they'll want to be around you even more. And the the the psychology major in me, like I can, I can see some of that, right? Because it is kind of a competitive thing. And you know, like if you give somebody everything, then you know what are they desiring? Like nothing, right? Because it's too easy, right? So I I can kind of see that side of it, but at the same time, the other side of it, just this constant like like meat head machismo stuff, is is very off-putting to me. And like on X, it seems like every like fourth or fifth post is that shit now. It's it's just like everywhere. Is that just me?

SPEAKER_02 14:53

No, you're right. I think that what's happened, uh, now you know I'm a Christian, right? Yeah, so I think I think what's happened is uh people have taken the traditional roles of a of a relationship in a household and uh contorted them and twerked them into something that they aren't, right? Now, we have a traditional household here, right? We both wanted a traditional family. So what that means is as a man, I think, and I think that this is kind of what happened with women where they took a left turn when it came to their attitude towards men, is that men today, most of them, don't understand, don't want to understand the responsibilities that they have in a family dynamic or in this world at all, right? Me as a man, it is my responsibility to keep everyone safe, financially secure, and you know, making sure that my wife has all the means that she needs to run a household properly and effectively. When you don't do that as a man, well, you're not providing the woman with what she needs to turn a house into a home. Right? And you're that's that's on you, whether you like it or not. This world can be a cold, callous place. And as a man, it is your responsibility, especially a man with a family, to provide, right? And to take the the abuse, not necessarily abuse, but be able to shoulder and carry your family, the weight of that, right? And most men today don't want to. They want an easy way out, right? They want to they want to be feminized and whine and complain, and things are too hard. And what do you mean I gotta work eight hours a day? Right, you know what I mean? Like that's I think that that's kind of part of the problem. Uh they don't want the responsibilities of a traditional household, and you can flip the coin and say the exact same thing for women. You know how many times I I listen to these those podcasts like you're talking about, your Andrew Tate's uh your whatever podcasts and stuff like that, where they have these women on, and they these women say, I want a traditional relationship. But really, what they're saying is I want the benefits of a traditional relationship, i.e., I want a man to financially provide for me, buy me a car, buy me clothes, buy me a house, make sure I have everything that I want. I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean, I don't want to have children, I don't want to make a house a home, I want to go on trips with my girlfriends and I want him to pay for it. Right? Behaving like you're single is not a traditional relationship, right? As a woman, if you want a traditional relationship, if you want a man uh who is financially able to provide for you and you don't have to work, you have responsibilities as well. Just going off and doing whatever you want whenever you want is not a traditional relationship, right? You gotta take the crooked with the straights.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

So I just think that both sides, men and women, of today on the majority, they they all want the benefits of a traditional relationship. Men want a loyal woman who only looks at them, who only spends time with them, who you know, who who spoils them and sleeps with them and all this stuff. But they don't want to take care of that woman, they don't want the responsibility of shouldering a family, right? And providing for her everything she needs. And same thing with women, like I said, they want to act like they're single women, but they want somebody to pay for them. That's not a boyfriend, that's a father.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

So, okay, so what do you think about um you know, I I think kind of what you're highlighting is more of like the traditional household, let's say, right? But I do think there are strains and pressures today, especially financially, that you know, everybody's sold, hey, you need a new car, and you know, the price of a new car keeps going up, up, up, up, up. Hey, you need a you need a house. The price of a house keeps going up, up, up, up, up. And so my point in saying all this is that all of your expenses have gone up, you know, it drastically, right? And you know, I I know I saw a post the other day where it was like, it was a it was like a joke, and it was like, I can't believe that, you know, uh one salary used to buy all this, and it was like, you know, that 1950s stereotypical family in front of the house and the car, you know, and all this stuff, right? But I mean, the reality is today is you do have a lot of uh uh relationships where both people work, right? And then then you go into this battle of whose job is more important, right? Is it is my job, is it your job? And then I think the the kids kind of get left behind in that sometimes, right? And you know, I know I I've seen this in our family where there's different views on it, right? Like one view is well, somebody should be home with the kids and they're gonna be raised better. The other view is no, we both need to work, they'll go to daycare. And I don't know about you, but you can see a daycare kid a mile away. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Yeah, not a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Yeah, so you know, I mean, I can see those challenges that it exist today um uh on that front. Now, kind of going back to younger people and the manosphere and dating and all these things, um, you know, I I think the current generation, truthfully, just needs to get off the phone and get out in the world, you know? And I think when they do that, they kind of go, oh, yeah, I guess we can do this. I guess we can we can kind of fall into those those norms that you know existed before the cell phone, before we were all you know, playing Fortnite 24-7, um, you know, all these things like that. So there's that. But you know, the other thing too is I think they're very reliant on dating apps versus real life just meeting people, right? And again, like it, you know, I I can even think of uh this is not really having to do with dating, but just driving through my neighborhood, right, in the car. Some people wave at you, other people do not. And so so I've taught my son, I'm like, hey, I'm like, when we're driving, we wave at everyone, and then if they don't wave, they're gonna they're they're just gonna eat that and we're gonna keep waving at them every time we see them. We're just gonna irritate the hell out of them, you know. And you know, I mean, that's kind of like the point. It's like, you know, you're in the real world. Time to time to be become a real person. Like you're no longer like in this little insulated bubble in your room where you're shielded by everyone and everything by technology. You know?

SPEAKER_02 22:17

Well, that's exactly it. And that's what I was gonna say about the whole, you know, the price of everything is has gone up so much and stuff. And yes, it has, right? And the but that's not a crutch at the end of the day, in my opinion, right? Um, what I mean by that is that you know what? The world is a lot of things, it's not fair, and it's never gonna be, especially for a man, right? Like uh, like I think it's who was it, Chris Rock or somebody who said, you know, men are the only ones in the face of the earth who are not who are only loved conditionally, right? Based on what you can provide. That's not going to change. That has always been the case, and that's not going to change no matter how much you feminize yourself as a man, no matter how much you whine, no matter how much you complain, right? It's not going to change. The world is the way that it is, our government, we've gotten into it, how they've screwed our economy and stuff like that. Yes, it is hard. But that's your responsibility as a man to figure it out, right? That's what we're designed to do. Uh, from the from the dawn of time, when they went when man had to hunt woolly mammoths, did they go, yeah, but it's hard. Right? I don't want to. It's hard. Can't the mammoth just die so that I can eat it? Like, why do I have to do it? Right? It's not the way the world works, it never has been, it never will be, right? People, I and especially men, I think they need to realize no one's coming to save you, no one's coming to do it for you. You have to get up and do it yourself.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Okay, so let's talk about the idea of role models in this situation, right? Like whether whether it's from the female side or the male side, I do think that I think role models exist, but I think pop culture highlights the wrong people constantly, right? And you know, I can think of this in terms of you know, you see some of these celebrities, and you know, they're they're all out at, you know, some party trying to look cool, some club, you know, throwing away money, being reckless, you know, all these things like that. And um, I kind of look at that that whole posture of a person, and it it's like you're you're just like a facade, you know, like like none of that's real. Like, where's the real person in that in that whole thing? You know, like I don't even know who I'm looking at, you know, and I I think about like like personally, you know, I I don't drink, I don't really party, I don't do any of these things. Like, I yeah, I've got plenty of hobbies and things that I do. But when I when I see a group of people doing that, it's it's like you're you're just projecting like sloppiness and you know, like like bad decisions, and you know, you're you're making poor choices, and and and you know, the TMZ or whoever is making it look like like, yeah, like this is what what you should strive for. And it's like, probably not. That's probably not what you should strive for. Like, that's probably the opposite of what you should strive for. And you know, like I look at uh like for example, you know, I think of like the Kardashians, right? Like and the jenners, right? The like that whole group, okay. So, you know, obviously the the dad was an attorney for OJ. Okay. And, you know, and then Kim had the sex tape, okay. And then now they have a you know, a TV show, uh, I guess. And and then, you know, it's like they keep parlaying it into something else, but it's like, is are these people really like a role model? I mean, really, you know, and like another one I see like that all the time. I see uh what's her name, Cardi B, right? Every time I see her, it's like, well, Cardi B is married to a new guy, you know, and she's got another kid on the way, and you're like, what? And and you know, like I can remember um back in time, this is probably like a decade ago, watching uh, I think I was watching ESPN at one point, right? And they were they did a little segment, it was like a 30 for 30 on these basketball wives, and it was these women that purposefully get pregnant with a basketball player because every pregnancy is like 150 grand a month for the rest of your life. So you so there was like a few of them that they had like kids with like like three, four, five different basketball players, and they're basically millionaires forever. But the the kids are the ones that take the brunt of like their piss poor management of of their life and body and choices. And at the end of the day, you know, like I always tell my wife that we're classical traditionalists, like I still kind of have like a classical view of things, and and that's like way outside of it. Uh, but but this is who's marketed to you know our kids and who we're seeing on like Instagram reels and TikTok and you know whatnot.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

I agree with you. Celebrities uh definitely there's a couple that are decent out there. Chris Pratt is definitely one that uh that I don't mind. He's a Christian, he you know, he's always putting that narrative out there that you know the traditional family and you know, a man's responsibilities and you know, put God first and all that stuff. And I think we've lost some of that, even if you're not religious, right? Um you know, you still have to have some sort of moral high ground when it comes to you can't just be all about yourself in this world, especially when you start to have family. There's so many guys out there, for example, that you know, that ditch their families. And I don't want to dive too deep into this part of it because I think it we could go on forever about it, but you know, and the government incentivizes that, it incentivizes removing the man from the house, right? Financially, and um I think that a lack of role models is definitely a thing. I mean, we we had great role models before, manly role models before um you know the 80s and stuff like that, and you just you just don't anymore, right? Um, the internet could be one of the reasons, but at the end of the day, I think it boils down to we've sissified society. Men don't want responsibility, women don't want their responsibilities, everyone just wants the dopamine hit, they want the instant gratification, they want the benefits without the responsibilities. Don't want to work, don't want to put your family first. You know, I I want to do what I want to do. Well, guess what? I got a family, I I never get to do what I want to do, and you know what? I'm fine with that because I take pride in watching my wife and son do whatever they want to do because I uh I provide their ability and their freedom to do that. That's where I get my sense of uh pride from, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:51

So what do you what do you think about these dating apps? So let me let me give you some scenarios, right? So, you know, my divorce buddy, when when he was still divorced and not yet remarried, you know, I would hear his stories from these dating apps, and it was like it was like a battlefield of blown out people, right? It was like, you know, unemployed flight attendant, unemployed bartender, unemployed bartender, unemployed nurse. It was just like like a graveyard of of people that are unemployed. Unemployed. Yeah, that's that this is true. This is true. They were definitely unemployed. But you know, like, you know, one of my biggest gripes of watching watching that when he was doing all that was I was like, I kept chirping in his ear. I'm like, dude, like none of these people are on your level, like none of them, you know, and it was just like it was like, you know, picking the best piece of rotten fruit, you know, like like, you know, and you think you got a unicorn in there, like you don't, you know, like they're all kind of they've all got problems and issues, you know. Like my old boss used to say, the one common denominator in all of his failed relationships was him, you know, and that's true, right? And I I think a bunch of those people kind of flock to to these dating things, you know, whereas like, you know, like when you're younger, um, one of the reasons you make so many friends when you're younger and not really as you're older, is that you're with this group of people, you're all around the same age, you're all kind of doing the same thing, you're in the same place at the same times. You have all these things in common. And it's like you really can build like some great relationships out of things like that, you know. Or likewise, like if you're in um high school or college, you know, and you're in like a club or sports or you know, you're connected in the community or whatever. As long as you're connected, you can meet like-minded people, and there's tons of them out there. But, you know, I think that today there's like a lot of people that just get so isolated. They get so isolated. And it, and you know, like I see these posts like all over Reddit where it's just like endless loneliness of yeah, you know, I I go to work, I have no prospects, I just do this over and over and over again. And it's like, get off your ass, like go out there and like what are your interests? What are they? Like, go go find people with similar interests. Oh, that's so hard. Well, it's because you've made no effort. You've made no effort, you've chosen to give up and get in bed, and now you're an adult and you suck, you know.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

I think I think the dating apps is is boils down to the other the same problem I talked about earlier, and that's the instant gratification, the the the the dopamine hit, right? Uh you you've got people on uh like what is what is it called? Uh where you where you swipe left or right the dating app Twitch or what the hell I can't remember what it's called, but uh those are very popular now, and it's just like it's like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Like you're just you're literally just swiping through hundreds of women or men, you know nothing about them.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Right? You the you probably swiped left or whatever, right, whichever ways no, right? You probably swipe that way on someone that could have been the perfect match for you had you taken the time to get to know them. Right. But you're just like, nope, nope, nope, nope, not gorgeous, nope, nope, nope, nope. And it's just you're just judging people on their pictures. It's literally don't judge a book by its cover, that's literally what you're doing, right? Like you could find all the physical parameters in a picture, mind you, that I mean, probably was taken 10 years ago or something like that, right?

SPEAKER_00 34:03

The picture's always misleading, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

It's always a catfish, right? Yeah, um, so you know, you're judging everything on that. Could be, you know, it's like a for all you know, whether if it's some gorgeous guy, it's probably a fancy elevator ride to nowhere. He's probably an imbecile, right? And the same thing with women, right? You got the oh, she's yeah, she's physically, she looks exactly like perfect. She probably just wants your bank account, right? Right? Like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 34:29

You were thinking of Tinder, that's what you're thinking of. Tinder, yes. Tinder, because you know what this just reminded me of. I don't know if you've seen on Netflix the Tinder swindler. Have you ever seen that? It's like a documentary, right? So this guy, he's like a a professional shipbag liar, and and he makes it look like he's he's like uh Bruce Wayne or something, you know, like he's got a private plane and you know, he's flying off to do deals, and you don't you don't ever really know what he's it's all a lie. It's like a pyramid scheme where each girl he goes and sees, hey, and by the way, can you just loan me a little bit? I just need a little bit. And so he's he's getting them to like they're not only loaning him money, but it's like, yeah, here's my life savings. And they're like, he really likes me, but I don't know, I'm kind of nervous. And then all of a sudden he just sort of like disappears, right? Yes. In this dude's picture, I used to see his picture on X all the time, especially on a lot of crypto accounts. They would put this guy's picture on there and make it look like it was them, or you know, they were like off in their private jet, you know. And and it's so funny how a lot of people, I think, today have a really hard time discerning from what's going on in front of the curtain and what's going on behind the curtain, right? Like everybody just goes, No, that's how it is. It's like, uh, no, that's not how it is. This guy isn't rich. That isn't Bruce Wayne. He's making his entire existence on lying to women just like you and flying to see the next one, you know.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

Yeah, I mean, you have to think about it like this. If you like for the ladies, if you if you're looking for um a successful man in most aspects of his life, uh, you know, his career, his finances, uh, his physical well-being, like he takes care of himself, all these things. If this is what you're looking for, uh, and is a good ethical moral man, you're probably not finding him on a dating app, right? Because, you know, he's probably doesn't have a problem meeting somebody in his day-to-day life who is a good match for him, and you can say the same thing about women, right? So, what are we doing at the end of the day? It became it became weird to approach people in public and try to have a conversation. I remember, I'm sure you probably feel the same way, remember the same thing when I was growing up as a teenager. It was okay. We used to go to the mall just to talk to girls. We used to go to the mall just to go to girls who pretty girls and ask for their phone numbers so we could go back home, call them on the phone, and talk to them on the phone, usually for hours on end until your parents were yelling at you to get off the damn phone because someone needs to dial up internet for something, right? Yeah, what happened to that, right? I don't know. Why is it creepy now to start a conversation with someone? Right?

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Yeah. So that's a good point. You know, it's like things are like labeled now, right? It's like, oh, well, if you if you go talk to them, you're weird. It's like, are you? You know, really? Is everybody weird? I don't know. You know, sometimes I tell my wife all the time, I'm like, when you think we when you think that everyone's like us, like go out in public and you realize that no one's like us. Like, are we the only normal ones? Like, what? There's gotta be other normal people here somewhere, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:03

Yeah, it's weird that you think it's weird. How about that? But going over to the woman side of things, when and why did women start treating dating like a financial transaction, right? Um and and this is coming from somebody who money's not an issue in my life, right? But what I would say is that if I was in the dating scene and a woman says to me, uh, I need you to take me out and spend hundreds of dollars on a dinner on a first date with me, because coffee's I'm just too good for coffee. Listen, when you are dating somebody in the beginnings of a relationship, first date, fifth date, tenth date, whatever, right? A couple months in that person, whether male or female, is presenting to you the best possible version of themselves to convince you that that's who you want to be with because they like you, right? That's the best they will ever be. When they get comfortable, it's gonna kill me downhill from there. That's the peak. Exactly, right? So, for women, if on the first couple of dates you're trying to get me to spend tons of money on you, I'm thinking down the road. This is the best version of you that you're presenting right now. You are not two years down the road, you are not gonna be someone I want to be with. You're not the type of person I want to build a family with, right? Because on the inside, you're ugly. It doesn't matter how much you did your hair and your nails, and you know, you got butt implants or whatever the case might be. It doesn't matter, right? You've shown me you're kind of a shitty person, you're just after money, right? And I'll tell you right now, ladies, listen up. Guys with money want to date someone who likes them for them. They don't want someone who wants to date them for their money because you're dating their bank account, you're not dating them, right? So when that's what you represent, when your response to what do you bring to the table is I am the table, you've already lost interest in the guy. Unless he's a simp, right? You've lost all and at the end of the day, let's be honest, if he is a simp, that's that's a feminine man, right? That's not going to be able to protect you and provide for you in the long run anyway, right? Any real man out there who respects himself, when he hears, I am the table, your perky personality is not the table, right? Right? It's just not. A relationship is two people coming together to improve to make something better than each one could do on their own, right? And when you're not bringing anything to make something better, besides your personality and your your go-to attitude, right? And it doesn't have to be money, right? But again, it leads back to if your attitude is uh I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean, I don't want to make a house a home, because I truly believe in the old saying that whatever you give a woman, she will multiply and give back to you. That's another one of a woman's superpowers, right? You give her a house, she makes a home, right? Um and and I I truly believe that. But when you don't want to, you when you want someone to provide everything to you, but you you don't want to you don't want to do shit, right? You want to act like you're single, you want to go out with the girls, you want to go clubbing, you want to go to Vegas on a girls' trip and stuff. You you think we don't know what that means? Right? You know, like and it's fine to want those things. No one's saying, you know, nobody's saying that you can't want what you want in life. You're absolutely free to want whatever you want. But don't go around saying there's no good men out there, or you know, uh yeah, just there's no good men out there. Don't go around saying that kind of stuff when you're not actually looking for a good man. And at the end of the day, good men, I'm sorry, they're looking for good women.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

I know, I who'd have thought who'd have thought it, right? You know, I I think I think that all the time where you you see um you see these women that are like, are are all guys just bad? And it's like, no, but you you literally pick the shittiest personality type is for whatever reason what you keep going after. Like I, you know, like a like a I've always thought, you know, it's like men can read men just like women can read women. And you know, it's like I I can I can see this, you know, this personality a mile away. This guy's a piece of shit, you know, and it's like that's what you're into, like this one ain't gonna end well, you know. Yeah, like you're gonna be on the next one here before you know it. Um, that's coming around the corner. Yeah, I remember uh one of my friends when I was younger. We were talking about this at one point, uh, you know, dating, and he was like, first date McDonald's. We were like, what? First date McDonald's. He was like, he's like, yeah, he's like, because that's that's when you can tell, you know. He was like adamant about it. And we were like, hmm, okay, first date McDonald's. What does that say about you though?

SPEAKER_02 43:55

Yeah. Well, what one of my best friends that I grew up with since we were kids, little Little kids. Um he's actually one of one of 40 uh specialized anesthesiologists in the United States. There's only 40 people that do what he does. Very specific, uh believe he's an anesthesiologist for children, for sick children, right? And uh heads up his own ward in Arizona and all that stuff. Uh financially extremely successful. Extremely successful, right? And I've been around for all of his relationships and stuff like that uh throughout his life. And he came to me one day when he met his current wife, and she is a big wig CEO, right? She dwarfs what he makes, and he makes a lot of money, right? But she dwarfs what he makes. We were sitting around the fire pit in his backyard when I was out in Arizona there a couple months ago, just two of us having some drinks, and he says to me, you know, it's good to be in a relationship, like he's they're married now. He's like, it's it's it feels so good to be with someone who I know is not with me for my money because she has more than I do, right? And I was I was so happy for to hear that because that that peace of mind for a man, right? Is uh and listen, she's more successful than him financially, but she wouldn't have been because he took all of his money from his career and helped her buy out this company, buy out the other owners, right, and take control of this company and grow it out. He risked everything he had financially to help her grow this company, and that's why I say that two people they come together and they build something phenomenal together. It's not about one person just supporting you and you sitting on your ass, right? And now she's a massive successful CEO, and you know, she dwarfs his income, but she wouldn't have without his help, right?

SPEAKER_00 46:23

Right. I I and I think kind of what you're tapping into there is that in every good relationship is complementary, right? It's complementary, it's yin yin yang, right? You don't you don't like date yourself on the other side, you know, it's it's not the way it works. And you know, like you can I think when you're in the middle of these, when you're the one who's dating, it's hard to see that. But like when you get out of it, or if you see it in like your your friends or you know, um brother, sister, whoever, you know, you can see it pretty clearly. And usually it's like the the couples that you can tell right away are gonna last are very complementary of each other in multiple different ways. And the ones that aren't are almost like too similar sometimes, you know. It's like maybe they they became attracted because there was something there that they reminded them of themselves or something like that, but then it it quickly kind of fizzles out because it's not a complementary relationship, you know.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

Yeah, I think that part of you has to admire who the person you're with is on some level. You have to admire them inside, I believe, right? And I believe you have to be willing to, you might not ever have to, but you have to be willing to take actions, whether it's financially or otherwise, when you're in a serious relationship with someone that might not be in your best interest, but is in the best interest of the person you're with. You sometimes, and it might not be financially, it might be mentally or emotionally, right? Or you might have to put yourself and your needs aside temporarily because it's what your partner needs, right? Sometimes you have to take a step backwards in your own interests to take two steps forward in theirs, and that should be able to propel you both forward, right? And most people are not willing to do that. They hear something, this is what's required of me to help you, but it doesn't benefit me, so I'm not willing to do it.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

Yeah, I could see that, and then you know, I I think what compounds here is then when it goes south, then they resort to like this isolationist thing, you know, where like I said, the the easy thing is to just sort of give up to go back to your place to sort of, you know, yeah, I'm just living by myself. And that's how you get all these lonely people out here that are just completely disconnected, you know, but they're on their devices all the time, but they're really connected to nobody, you know, there's no foundation there.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

That's exactly it. I think we all just need to kind of you know take that step back and evaluate, you know, because so many people say, like, well, I'm a I'm a good man or I'm a good woman. Can you take inventory? Are you right? Are you would you date you? Right, usually the answer is no, right? Yeah, I'm an asshole. I wouldn't date me. Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

Okay, so so speaking of assholes, so back to the manosphere. So, what do you think about these guys that you know it's like the algorithm pushes them, right? They're getting the clicks, they're getting the views, but you're pushing this asshole. You know what I mean? What do you think about that? Like, I you know, I I think I think sometimes the social media, I get it that it's it's all math and it's it's trying to keep you invested and keep you watching, and it the you know that it knows that the longer you watch the video, it's gonna send you more videos of that type or whatever or posts. But at the same time, like culturally, like you know, like if I was leading one of these platforms, I don't know if I'd be good with that. You know, I think I would I would have a hard moral battle of, you know, why are we pushing somebody like an Andrew Tate on X? You know what I mean? And and even Elon himself, I mean, the dude's got 14 kids with like what like 10 different women? I mean, come on, man. You you are like the shittiest father on the planet, you know, like do we really need to keep promoting that guy?

SPEAKER_02 51:08

You know, I I agree with you. I think that it's I think it's people taking something that's true, putting a magnifying glass on it, and blowing it out of proportion, right? Like some of the some of the premise that someone like an Andrew Tate would say, like a man needs to lead his household, for example, right? It's true. You need to be a leader, right? And but the way that he leads, let's say leads very loosely here. Yeah, like when you're trying to lead with without respect and consideration, well, that's a completely different thing, right? Now you've changed it from leading. Um you know, that's the kind of leader like if you were in the if you were in the military, you know, your guy, your men might take a little bit, they might walk instead of run to save you kind of thing if you're in trouble, right? Yeah, so that's what I think it is, and I think it is exaggerated because it's clout, right? It's it's we live in a world where attention is currency.

SPEAKER_00 52:21

Yeah, I think I think being divisive gets clicks, right? Being divisive, but the the the problem with social media and especially with AI uh influence on social media is that everything is projected as true, right? And if you don't know any better, you believe it's all true, right? But the reality is, is I mean, half half of what AI spits out is not accurate. It does have errors, it is missing things, and you know, like if you just perceive all of it as true, um you're you're the train's off the tracks already. And I think, you know, when it when it comes to some of these influencer type people like that, like I said, what's going on in front of the curtain versus behind the curtain are completely different stories here.

SPEAKER_02 53:16

Yeah, I agree. I I think that there's a there's a lack of honesty as well. Uh people everyone seems to want to represent who they are and and how their lives are in a grandiose fashion on the internet, right? No one wants to um no one wants to be honest, men or women, right? And uh I think I think that's that's also a problem, but uh I I just I at the end of the day, I don't know what the cause is. I guess the way we've explored this is maybe it's a combination of uh social media, dating apps, uh, and and and that's kind of syssified our society, which has kind of been a chain reaction or dominoes where men don't want responsibility, they don't want to take care of women, they just want to sleep with them or become them, and women want to, you know, women just want money, they don't want a family, they don't want to be a homemaker or anything like that, and maybe we're doomed as a society, right? Who knows? I mean, uh every society, successful society in history is collapsed at some point, and maybe we've peaked, right?

SPEAKER_00 54:36

I don't know, I don't know. I I think you're being a little pessimistic. So I I think that what is being highlighted is like the worst stuff, but that doesn't mean that there's not good people out there, right? Like, you know, I I think I've told you before, like with music, um, you know, a lot of a lot of people that are, you know, like Gen X type generation, you know, that all the music today sucks. Uh there's nothing good, there's there's no good music. Yeah, there is. There's tons of good music. You're you're just too lazy in how you find it. Like, well, I I just listen to the radio and they just play everything from the 70s and 80s or whatever, you know, right? It's like, well, you you're sloppy and lazy about it. You're not actually searching out new stuff. And if you did, you would find that there's tons of good new stuff. And so, you know, case in point is that for every you know, shit bag andrew Tate, there's somebody really good out there who are not highlighting. You know what I mean? Which again kind of goes back to the algorithm in the clicks, highlighting all the wrong people, you know.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

Well, I there there's a fad I've seen that's been going around, something that's been uh trending lately. And it's women talking about going to church to meet a good man, to meet men, right? And uh what I see all the time is like, well, there's no good looking men there though, right? They're not my type, they're not what do you want? So you want a good I like I don't understand. I like the idea of going to church to meet a good man, right? The premise, the the concept of it is good because it's it's a great place to meet a good person, whether it's a man or a woman. But if you're only there treating it as a dating opportunity, what does it say about you? Yeah and you know, the guy that you find, is he is the relationship gonna work long term when he finds out that the only reason you were there in his house of worship is to find a man, not to show respect, and and you're you're not actually devout, so to speak, right? Because that's who he's looking for, someone devout, someone he can share those beliefs with, right? You're coming in there under a false premise. What does that say?

SPEAKER_00 57:11

You know, yeah, yeah. Do you remember? Um do you remember that book, The The Secret? Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_02 57:20

No.

SPEAKER_00 57:20

Okay, so this came out like gosh, probably 15, 20 years ago, and it got real popular for about a year. Like it, you know, the whoever wrote it was on like Oprah and you know, the whole book tour and all that stuff. And the the premise of the secret was basically like like reaffirming like a mantra, like like if if your goal, let's say, was I really want to drive a Lamborghini, you know, whatever, then you would kind of tell yourself every day, I'm going to drive a Lamborghini. I'm gonna drive a Lamborghini. You're constantly reaffirming it, right? And the trick of it, it was like a psychological trick. The trick is what you're actually doing is you're programming your brain to recognize opportunities. That's what you're doing, that's what the secret is. And so, like the the point is is I think you could apply that same logic to dating, to marriage, to relationships, that if if you're looking for a quality mate, then in your brain, you need to be able to recognize opportunities of where quality mates are. You know, like you're not gonna find this. Um, you know, you're probably not gonna find this person at spring break and Daytona, right? Like, like it's just not gonna happen, you know. You, you know, I mean, there's certain places where you're probably more apt to find somebody, and you may even be surprised at where they are, you know. Maybe it's like the grocery store or something like that, you know. Maybe it's um just just somewhere where you naturally kind of are and you're just sort of being you, you know. That's what's attractive, right? Like, you know, there's there is there's far too much of putting on a facade to try to pretend to be somebody else when in reality everybody just wants to see who are you actually? You know, which is why I was saying, you know, with like a lot of those celebrities, I look at them and I sit there and I go, Who are these people? Like, who are you actually? Like, is there anyone real in this whole group, or are all of you just completely fake?

unknown 59:32

You know?

SPEAKER_02 59:33

Yeah, I agree. I think for me, what it boils down to is men, first of all, everybody put your phones down, right? Put the dating app down, put the social media down, and men, if you see that girl at the beach or at the pool hall, or you know, at the malt shop, wherever it is, right? Go say hi, right? Be respectful and polite and get to know, get to know her. Women when a guy approaches you, even if he's not doesn't have the triple sixes, right? Six packs, six figures, and you know, like all this stuff, whatever, you know, maybe give him a chance and get to know him. And let let's get back to uh let's get back to normal, normalizing, having conversations and getting to know people because you might be swiping left on a great opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:35

Well, that's a fantastic way to look at it, right? It's being open-minded, being open-minded to anything could happen and you don't know everything. You know, like one of my favorite lines that I repeat all the time is that everybody's an expert and no one knows what they're doing. I think that's 100% true on this front, right? I mean, everybody is an expert. You know, everybody's given each other advice, no one knows what they're doing. And it really, you know, again, open-minded, recognize opportunities for what they are, and see what happens. You know, like I don't know if you remember that movie, uh Yes Man with Jim Carrey. Like that was a great movie, right? Because he had to say yes to everything, and he was the guy that always said no to everything. He starts saying yes, and it was like his whole world opened up, just crazy things are happening, you know. You found a relationship, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:29

Life experiences and it changed them. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree with you, and that's a great example of you know, maybe say yes a little more often, stop worrying about what people around you think, and uh seize the opportunities out there because again, you're probably missing out on some amazing people. Me and my wife, we didn't meet on the internet, right? We met in person because we were just happening to be around the same the same place. We we're actually we worked together, right? And um 15 years later, here we go.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:02

15 years later, there you go. See, I've been married 15 years too. Same deal, met in person, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:08

Yeah, met in person, there you go, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:11

So well, uh you know, one one parting thing though is I do have a really good friend of mine that I refer to as Jim Carrey from Yes Man. But equally it will be like, Hey, I've I've got a really great idea. What do you think? And he'll go, Yes. And then somebody will come along and go, Hey, I have a really terrible idea. What do you think? And he'll go, Yes. So I can backfire. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:35

Well, yeah, you're not gonna bat a thousand, but nobody does.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:38

No, no one bats a thousand.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:42

So yeah. Um, any any final thoughts before we wrap things up?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Nah, I think we pretty much covered this one. I think uh, you know, if anyone uh has any more thoughts, leave them in the in the comments. If you're seeing this on YouTube, if you're listening to the podcast, check us out. We got more great content right around the corner.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:02

Yeah. Swipe right on opportunity. See you guys in the next one. God bless.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:09

Shift out.