"Forgiveness"

What if the person you're refusing to forgive is the very thing keeping you from peace? In this episode, we dive into the power of forgiveness-why it's so hard, why it matters, and how letting go can begin to heal even the deepest wounds.

Transcript

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Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you guys to Honestly Speaking, Alone Together. This podcast is a space where we talk about the real things people carry, the silent battles, grief, healing, faith, purpose, and the moments when life doesn't make sense. Now let's get into this topic today. Today we're talking about forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we've ever been asked to do. But when someone hurts us deeply, it's like everything inside of us wants to hold on to that pain. But what if the very thing that we're holding on to is what's keeping us stuck? It's not the easy kind, forgiveness. Not the just move on kind, but the kind that comes after deep hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and sometimes loss. Forgiveness is hard because the pain was real. So one of the biggest misunderstandings about forgiveness is that people think it means pretending something did not hurt, but that's not the case. Forgiveness doesn't erase the pain. If anything, forgiveness requires us to acknowledge the pain fully. Someone said something that wounded you, someone betrayed your trust, someone walked away when you needed them the most. Those things leave marks on the heart. And when people say just forgive and move on, it can almost feel dismissive. So real forgiveness doesn't ignore the wound. It begins by acknowledging that the wound exists. Holding on feels powerful. But boy, can it sure be heavy. When someone hurts us, holding on to anger can feel like control. It can feel like justice. It can feel like protection. But over time, bitterness becomes heavy. Why? Because God never intended on us carrying these weights. It shows up in ways we don't always notice, like stress, anxiety, resentment, emotional exhaustion. The person who hurt us may have moved on, but we're still carrying the weight that's heavy. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened was okay, y'all. It doesn't, it doesn't it doesn't excuse it. It simply means you're choosing not to let the pain control your heart anymore. And forgiveness is often a process. Yeah, a process. Sometimes we think forgiveness is just a single moment, but often it's a journey. You may forgive today, and tomorrow the pain resurfaces again. I know in my life I have dealt with unforgiveness, and God has shown me these areas. And what He has shown me to do is every time this person crosses my mind and I get angry again or is laid on my heart and it just makes me just so frustrated, I release it again to God. I say it out loud, out of my mouth. God, I release this to you. God, I give this to you, this person, this unforgiveness, I give it all to you. I release it, and I feel lighter again. So if it surfaces again, that doesn't mean you failed, friend. It means healing is happening layer by layer. And some wounds are deep, and deep wounds take time to heal. And God is patient with our process. Forgiveness is more about your freedom. Forgiveness is not always about restoring relationships, though. Let's be clear. We can forgive, but that does not mean that that person or people have access to us anymore. Sometimes the relationship cannot or should not be restored. Forgiveness is about releasing the hold that pain has on your heart. It's choosing peace over bitterness, it's choosing healing over resentment, and it's saying, I refuse to let what happened to me define the rest of my life. That's powerful. So one of the powerful things about faith is that we're reminded that God understands pain. After all, he lost his son. Jesus himself experienced betrayal, rejection, and suffering. And one of the most powerful points in the Bible is Jesus on the cross, giving his life for you and I. And in the midst of doing everything that they were doing to him and crucifying him, Jesus with an humble heart said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. That's powerful. So we think about Jesus walking through all of that. Yet in the middle of that pain, forgiveness was still spoken. That's powerful, y'all. That's powerful. And it shows us powerful. Forgiveness isn't weakness, it's strength, actually. It's strength, it's strength. It is so much strength in forgiveness. So if you're listening today and forgiveness feels impossible, you are not alone. Sometimes wounds take time. Some wounds require prayer. Sometimes you're gonna have to pray this thing out because there have been times that I've been able to just freely forgive, and then there have been times that I it has been downright hard. Let me tell you. And that's where I got to take it to the Lord. Lord, I release it. I release it again. I release it again. Yeah, it happens like that sometimes. And then sometimes forgiveness starts with something simple as God help me want to forgive. Even that is a step toward healing. Forgiveness does not erase the past, but it can change the future. Unforgiveness doesn't just affect the heart emotionally, though, it can also impact the body physically as well. So when someone holds on to anger, resentment, or deep hurt for long periods of time, the body often stays in a chronic stress response. So here are some of the physical ways unforgiveness can affect you. Increased stress hormones. When we replay hurt or anger, the body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this can lead to tiredness, fatigue, headaches, tension in the body. Also, it can mess with our blood pressure, cause higher blood pressure. Chronic anger and bitterness can keep the nervous system in a fight or flight mode, which can contribute to elevated blood pressure and heart strain. You want to know why they call it a silent killer? That's why. Silent killer, because all this is pent up, all this anger and bitterness in the nervous system having to be in fight or flight mode, it contributes to the elevated blood pressure. And then what happens? Stroke or heart attack. We don't want that. Sleep problems. People holding on to deep hurt often struggle with insomnia, restless sleep, racing thoughts at night, because the mind keeps replaying the pain. Weakened immune system. Long-term emotional stress can weaken the immune system, making someone more vulnerable to illnesses. And we know we look, we don't want to be sick. So if you got somebody to forgive, I encourage you to forgive them. Let it go and let God. Muscle tension and pain, unforgiveness often shows up in physical ways as tight shoulders, jaw tension, stomach problems, chronic body aches. The body literally, literally stores stress and unresolved emotions. So you may be feeling some of these things right now. And I would ask Holy Spirit, show me what reveal to me if I have any unforgiveness in my heart. And then lastly, mental and emotional exhaustion. Holding on to resentment takes energy. Over time, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and emotional burnout. Unforgiveness doesn't just live in the heart, it lives in the body. The stress, the tension, the sleepless nights, sometimes the very thing we're holding on to is quietly draining our peace and our health. Now I want to say a quick prayer over you because I truly believe in the power of prayer. And if you are someone that has been holding on to pain and unforgiveness in your heart, then I am going to pray for you. So, Heavenly Father, you see the wounds that we carry and the pain that still lingers in our hearts. Forgiveness can feel impossible when the hurt runs deep, Lord. Today I ask for your help for my dear friend. Soften the places in their heart that have become hardened by pain and give them the strength, Lord, to release what they've been holding on to and the courage to trust you with the healing process. Replace bitterness with peace, Lord, and resentment with freedom. Lord, help them walk in forgiveness that you've shown to us. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. So I thank you guys for tuning in. I want to give you some encouragement as well. Forgiveness can release the weight. If you feel like you've been carrying a weight, forgiveness can release the weight that you've been carrying for far too long. And sometimes, let me tell you, the freedom you've been searching for begins the moment you decide to let go. So I want to thank you guys for showing up today and being here with us on honestly speaking, alone together. And remember, even when you feel alone, friend, in what you are carrying, you're truly not alone. And so, guys, I'll see you back next time. Bye.