"It Didn't Start With Me: Breaking Family Dysfunction & Generational Sin"

Some cycles don't start with us-but they can end with us. In this episode, we unpack family dysfunction, generational sin, and how to finally break free through truth, healing, and Jesus! What ran in your family can STOP with YOU!

Transcript

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Well, hello, everybody, and welcome back to Honestly Speaking Alone Together, a place where real conversations happen. Life isn't always neat, polished, or easy, and here we're not pretending that it is. This podcast is about faith, grief, healing, truth, and the moments that shape us. It's about speaking honestly about the struggles we face, the ways we learn, and the hope we find along the way. Some conversations may challenge you, some may encourage you, and some may simply remind you that you are not alone. So take a breath, settle in, and let's talk about the things that matter most. Hi, I'm Eric Sparks, and this is Honestly Speaking, Alone Together. Well, welcome back, welcome back, you guys. Um, so glad that you are here, and um, this is gonna be a deep, deep conversation today that we're going to have. Um, you know, there's so many things that we look at in this life that are generally passed down. So that is what this episode is gonna be about. It didn't start with you breaking family dysfunction and generational sin. Some of the battles you're fighting didn't start with you, but they can end with you. It stops with me. You ever look at your life and think, why does this keep happening in my family? The addiction, the anger, the broken relationships, the silence. But what if I told you you're not crazy? You're confronting a pattern, and today we are breaking it. So family dysfunction, you know, is it it is it is always loud. Sometimes it just looks like we don't talk about that. Um, love that feels conditional, normalized, chaos, emotional neglect, masked as being strong, quote unquote. But just because it's normal in your family does not mean it is healthy. No, not at all. Not at all. So patterns passed down, they can be addiction, abuse, abandonment, control, poverty mindset, learned behaviors, and spiritual strongholds. Um, Exodus 25, it talks about iniquities being passed down, but it balances it with hope in Ezekiel 18. You are not bound to repeat any of the patterns or generational sin. You may have been born into it, but through Jesus, you are not bound to it, friend. So this is, you know, a personal testimony of mine. Um, a lot of you have already heard some of my testimony. Um, you know, I've been addicted to meth, crack, and crack cocaine. Um, the environment that I came from, you know, um, there was emotional um neglect. Um, affection was not really big in our home. Um, my mom and dad, we know that they loved us dearly. They were awesome parents, um, but the emotional availability just was not there. And so I started seeking that affection outside of the home. And it led me down some really, really, really dark paths, you know, um, the drugs, drinking, um, some marriages and relationships that were just not good for me at all, um, that were abusive. I've been through domestic violence a lot of times in my life, and that just that set me down up, I mean, a lot of different treacherous paths, you know. The moment you realize this is a cycle. Like so many families back in the day, you know, let's just be honest. Some things they want to stay hidden, like secrets. But if we understand, secrets keep us sick. I want to know what's in my lineage, so I know what devils I'm fighting, what demons I'm slaying. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, we need to know what's in our family, you know, lineage and history so that we can stop the cycle. And and somebody's gonna be brave enough to stop it and say that this ends with me. You're we're we're not polished here. We're gonna be honest because things just need to stop. Cycles can be stopped with the power of the Lord. You know, I didn't just wake up addicted, I walked into something that had roots before me, and I'm pretty sure the same is with you. It felt normal until it started to destroy me, literally destroy me. I thought that I was numbing, I was numbing, but I needed to get to the root because addiction, there are there is a root. It you just don't get addicted. There is a root, and there's so many people that can say, oh, you made that choice. Yes, I did make that choice. But sometimes we have to understand that there are roots, there are roots, and addiction is just the symptom. It's just we're we're numbing. We're numbing a pain that we feel that needs to be that needs to be numbed because we want it to stop hurting. But any of these things, addiction, um, sexual promiscuity, alcohol, any of this stuff, gambling, you know, shopping, it's it's not gonna take it away. It's not gonna stop it. You have to stop it by taking it to the Lord and and allowing him to reveal to you what it is in your family lineage if it's not being told, you know. Um, so a lot of times, you know, we recognize ourselves in the dysfunction because it disguises itself. Um, a lot of people here hear and say that's just how my family is, you know, loyalty to toxic patterns, fear of breaking away, and then also guilt for choosing healing. But let me tell you, don't ever feel guilty for choosing healing. Because if not, if you don't confront it, you're gonna pass it down to your children. So it gets to the point of who's gonna stop it? Who's gonna confront this dysfunction? Breaking cycles can feel like betrayal, but it's actually freedom. And I know this all too well. When I wrote my first book, um there were some people that didn't like what I wrote, what I had to write. But the thing about it is that God brings light to certain things, situations, cycles, so that they can be broken and that healing can start to take place. So the cross didn't just forgive sin when Jesus, when Jesus was crucified, it breaks chains. And you are a new creation, according to 2 Corinthians 5 and 17. You, you, you, hear me clearly, can be the turning point in your bloodline. What ran in your family can stop with you. So, you know, the practical steps that God has given me to help in this area, to breaking generational cycles and sin, the first thing that we have to do is we have to acknowledge it. You can't heal what you won't name. We have to stop normalizing the dysfunction. Call it, call it what it is. It is what it is, but we have to stop normalizing dysfunction, set boundaries, yes, even with family, renew your mind daily with the word, prayer, and truth, and then get you some support because healing is not meant to be done alone, just like I stated before. Jesus and therapy can coexist, and then replace the pattern, don't just remove it, rebuild. So this is what I want you to say. Repeat it with me. I am not bound by what was before me. I am not a prisoner of my family's past. Through Jesus, I am made new. The cycle stops with me. What tried to break me will not define me. I choose healing, I choose freedom, and I choose a new legacy. A new legacy. So this one is gonna hit a little different. Grieving the family you needed, but you didn't have. So before you can fully heal, you have to be honest about what hurt you. This is the acknowledging part, the family you feel that you should have had, the love, the safety or protection that was missing. You know how people minimize it. Well, they did their best, and that's truth. They may have done their best, but it still hurt. So give yourself permission to grieve, to feel anger without staying in it, to acknowledge the wound or wounds without dishonoring God. You're not weak, friend, for grieving, you're human. And healing starts with honesty. This is a moment where you will feel sane. So now we step into the forgiveness without reconnection sometimes, because sometimes is it's no more access, it's forgiveness, but no reconnection. So this is a necessary and freeing truth, especially for those of you that are stuck in guilt. Forgiveness does not mean access. You can forgive and still have boundaries, you can love people and not allow them to hurt you anymore. Forgiveness is obedience to God, not permission for abuse. Forgiveness, friend, equals releasing the offense. Reconciliation equals rebuilt trust. And that takes time and fruit, because if I don't see fruit, there won't be no trust to be rebuilt. And then that means that's limited access. So you can forgive and still choose peace over proximity. Let me say that again. You can forgive them because the Bible does tell us to forgive 70 times seven and still choose peace over proximity. So next we're building a new legacy. We're gonna build a new legacy because, hey, we said it stops with us, it stops with me. I am gonna be the one to confront the generational cycles in my family. Now we're gonna we're gonna talk about power, purpose, and forward movement. Hopefully, we're gonna be strong and empowering. We're breaking the cycle. That's one thing, but building something new, that's legacy, friend. You becoming the safe place you never had, changing what your children or future generations will experience, speaking life where there used to be chaos, and creating a new normal according to the word of God. We're gonna give practical visions about this. There's healthy communication, no more toxicity, peace in your home, consistency, and Christ-centered foundation. Let me tell you something. You're not just healing for you, you're healing for the people connected to your future. So, one decision, one boundary, one prayer at a time, friend, because you are rewriting your family story. Your last name may carry history. Let me tell you, I know mine did, but it doesn't have to carry bondage. You, friend, are the interruption. That's powerful. You are the shift, you are the one God chose to break what tried to break your family, and it ends with you. So I want to say a prayer over you guys, and I want you to take it in. Take it in, listen with your spirit, Father God. Right now, I lift up every person listening. You see their story, the parts they talk about, and the parts, God, that they've buried. You see the cycles, Father God, the dysfunction, the pain that didn't start with them, but somehow found them. And Holy Spirit, we ask you right now, step into every broken place where there has been addiction, bring freedom, where there has been anger, God, bring peace, where there has been abandonment, Lord be their Father. Where there has been silence, speak truth. Father, heal what was normalized but never healthy, untangle what has been passed down for generations, God. Father, give them the courage to confront what's been ignored, the strength to walk away from what's been harmful, and Lord, the wisdom to build something new. Holy Spirit, break every chain that has tried to attach itself to their life, not by their strength, but by your power. Let this moment, Father God, mark a shift, not just emotionally, but spiritually. And from this day forward, Lord, the cycle is broken in the name of Jesus. The past loses its grip, and freedom begins now. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. So I also have some declarations for you, friend. Um, you can repeat these, um, you can write them down. Um, but they're declarations because we're starting something new. We are rebuilding. We are rebuilding. Say this out loud, even if you cry, even if your voice shakes. Say these out loud, friend. Pause if you need to write them down, post them on your mirror, post them in your room, post them on your refrigerator, wherever you need to post them, and declare these. Declare, declare, declare, and decree. I am not bound by my family's past. I am not defined but by what I came from. I am a new creation through Jesus Christ. Every generational cycle that is not from God, it stops with me. I break agreement with dysfunction. I break agreement with addiction. I break agreement with fear, anger, and chaos. I choose healing. I choose freedom. I choose truth over what I was taught. I am allowed to grow, even if it makes others uncomfortable. I am building a new legacy, one of peace, one of wholeness, one of Christ-centered love. What try to destroy my family line will not continue through me. I am the turning point. I am the cycle breaker. And through Jesus, I am free. So I I want you to really, really take that in. Take it in. Take it in. And let God heal what needs to be healed in the dysfunction, in the chaos. Because let me tell you something. I thank God that every person that's under the sound of my voice, Lord, you see them. You know what they've been carrying, Father God. You know what's been passed down and what's been weighing them down. And right now, God, in the name of Jesus, we declare it stops here. Every cycle that is not from you, broken, every chain loosed, every lie, silenced. God, give my friend strength to choose differently, courage to set boundaries, and peace in the process of becoming whole. Heal them from the inside out, Lord, and let this moment mark a turning point in their life. Now say this with me. We're doing some declarations today, y'all, because we're breaking some things in the mighty name of Jesus. We're breaking them. It didn't start with me, but it ends with me. I am not bound by my past. I am not controlled by what I was raised in. I am chosen, I am called, and I am made new. I break every generational cycle that is not from God, and I step into freedom, healing, and a new legacy today. Friend, you didn't choose your beginning, but you do get to choose your future, the future that God has for you. And today, the cycle is broken. So I thank you guys for tuning in today. Um, this was a heavy one because a lot of times we we walk through these cycles and we want we want them to be broken. So I thank God for this section and you know this episode because it is is needed so so much. So if this has blessed you and if it has helped you, and you know of somebody that could use the encouragement and the decrees and the prayers of breaking family dysfunction and generational sin, I encourage you to share this episode. And until next time, remember that God loves you, and so do I.