"Still Standing: Finding Hope After Life's Breaking Points"

In this episode of Honestly Speaking: Alone Together, we talk about life's breaking points through people pleasing, addiction, promiscuity, and grief. This is about brokenness, but also about resilience, faith, and finding the strength to rebuild when life falls apart. If you've ever felt lost, ashamed, or like you are too far gone, this episode is for you. You are not alone-and your story is not over yet!

Transcript

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Welcome back, welcome back, you guys, to Honestly Speaking Alone Together, a place where real conversations happen. Life isn't always neat, polished, or easy, and here we're not pretending that it is. This podcast is about faith, grief, feeling, truth, and the moments that shape us. It's about speaking honestly about the struggles we face, the lessons we learned, and the hope we find along the way. Some conversations may challenge you, some may encourage you, and some may simply remind you that you are not alone. So take a breath, settle in, and let's talk about the things that matter most. Hi, I'm Erin Sparks, and this is honestly speaking, alone together. Welcome back, you guys. We are back. We are back after a little bit. Woo! Had to slow up just a little bit. Was on fire there. But nonetheless, I am so glad to be back. Um, so glad that you are back. And you know, I just thank God for today. Today is good Friday. It can look a little dim because it's Friday, but I want to give somebody some encouragement somewhere. Sunday is coming. So we just thank Jesus right now for everything that He did leading up to this point that we are at today, right now. You know, and I just take some time to reflect on that. Um, not just because it's resurrection weekend, but it should be a thought that should stay in the forefront of our mind, 365, all year round. Not just when it's resurrection Sunday and resurrection weekend. Should always have that in mind when we're out and about doing our father's business, just what Jesus walked through. And he didn't take any detours. He met adversity, he met resistance, but he stayed the path that God led and laid out for him. So today, and today, what are we getting into today? What is the topic for today? Well, the topic for today is still standing, and we're finding hope after addiction, grief, and life's breaking points. Ooh, yeah, it's gonna be a good and pretty deep. You know, if you're here today, I want I want you to know something, you know, before we go any further. You know, you're not crazy for feeling tired, you're not weak for feeling broken. And I have to put that out there a lot because society has just beat this in us that we, you know, are weak if we're going through this or if we're acting like this, or if we're emotional, you know, that's not the case. God meets us right where we are, and you're definitely not alone, friend, even if it feels like you are, because the truth is so many of us can be silently fighting things that nobody sees addiction, grief, depression, shame, starting over again and again. Yeah, I've been there many times in my life, you know, and we can smile in public and be just unraveling in private. Um, because there's so much of a stigma, you know. Um, but here, that's that's why this was created, you know. Today we're we're gonna talk about what it really looks like to just fall apart and still find a way to stand back up with the Lord, you know. So the first that I mentioned, addiction, you know, and that's a big worldwide pandemic right now. Um has been, um, it continues to grow, but I know that there is a God that is bigger than addiction. You know, it doesn't always look like what people other, you know, other people think. Sometimes it's it's not a rock bottom moment, you know, it's a slow fade. And you know, addiction whispers before it even screams. It starts as an escape, a coping mechanism, a way to numb what hurts too much to face. And, you know, then before you know it, the thing you use to survive becomes a thing you can't live without. You tell yourself, I can stop whenever I want. You know, I used to say that many times, but deep down you know something has control over you. Whether it's substances, pornography, toxic relationships, or even self-destructive habits. Addiction, addiction, it isolates you. It can convince you if you're not careful that no one would understand that you've just gone too far, like you'll never change. But that is a lie from the pits of hell. The truth is, what holds you captive doesn't get the final say. And we're talking about Good Friday here. It is finished. Come on, somebody, come on. There is always a moment, not you know, that I think about even when I look back over my own life, you know, it's not always dramatic, but it's defining. It's the moment you look in the mirror and you don't recognize yourself anymore. See anybody feel like that today? I'm not okay, and I can't fix this alone. And that moment, let me tell you, dear friend, it's not weakness, it's the beginning of freedom. Because healing doesn't start when everything is fixed, it starts when you are honest. And let me tell you, grief hits different. It doesn't ask permission to enter your life. Grief is love with nowhere to go. It shows up in waves. Sometimes they're crashing waves, sometimes it's quiet. And just when you think you are okay, something reminds you a song, a date, a memory, a picture, and suddenly you're right back in it. Grief changes you, it changed me. You don't just move on, you learn how to carry it. And some days that weight feels unbearable, friend. But hear me, you can carry grief and still carry purpose. Now, what about when life is just falling apart and you feel like you're losing control? Anybody feel like that today? Well, I want to give you some encouragement. Sometimes it's not just one thing, it's everything. Does that ever feel like it's just when what they say, when it rains, it pours? Woo! Life has a way of stacking pain, loss, disappointment, broken trust, unanswered prayers, and you reach a point where you think, how much more can I take? And that's where many people give up. Not because they're weak, but because they're exhausted. And if that's you, I need you to hear this clearly rock bottom is not your ending, it's a foundation God can and will rebuild from. So, what does the rebuild look like? Sometimes it can be slow, messy, and real. Healing is not instant, it's not linear, and sometimes let's just be honest, it's not pretty. Rebuilding your life can look like just taking one small step when you feel like quitting, choosing honesty over hiding because secrets keep us sick. It looks like getting back up again and again. We used to have this in NA. Keep coming back. I need you to keep coming back, friend. Some days you'll feel strong, and then other days you may feel like you've made no progress at all. But healing is happening. Hear me clearly, even when you don't see it. But what does matter is consistency. Consistency matters, friend, more than perfection. So let's talk about that faith in the middle of pain. I've had faith of a mustard seed in this season of my life. But I still trust God, I still believe him, I still love him, I still magnify his name, even though my faith may be that small right now because faith still looks like showing up. That's still you showing faith. It doesn't mean that the pain disappears, it means you're not walking through it alone, friend. And there were moments that I didn't understand. I just didn't understand. God, I don't understand. Moments I I just I asked God questions. Why this? Why me? Why now? But even in the silence, God was present. That was for sure. Not always trying to fix things immediately, because let me tell you, God, he showed me that we were we were building from the ground up. My foundation was shaken. You know, God is present, and what he's doing is he is sustaining us through them. So the scripture, you know, it tells us, I love this. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and I have lived that scripture, not just heard it, I have lived it. So this is where I tell you that your story is not over, friend. This is actually the turning point for you. I'm speaking that over your life right now. You may feel like your life has been defined by addiction, loss, mistakes, trauma, but that is not your identity. This that that's not your story. You know, it's not the ending to your story, but it is your story. The thing that God will use for his glory. Your story is still being written. The very thing that tried to break you, dear friend, can become the thing that helps someone else survive. Your pain, I need you to hear me clearly, has purpose. It has purpose. So when I think about my personal, you know, my personal story, you know, the real one, you know, I need you to stay with me because I'm still standing. And if I can stand because God kept me, so can you. I didn't just struggle in one area, friend. I had layers. And this last loss of mine, you know, with my son, has even opened up some other areas that God is is using to heal and reveal, you know. And I didn't understand that until I walked through this type of grief that it can open up a can of worms. Let me tell you, it has brought back some things that I thought I was healed from. And God is saying, here we are. Yeah, here we are. Let's open this up. And that's where the layers come in. I was addicted to things that looked completely different on the outside, but were rooted in the same place inside. You know, I I chased the high of crystal myth, you know, and behind that, you know, it was battling crack cocaine as well, you know. And if I'm being honest from the layers, let me make that plain, from the layers that I was needing healing from. So, you know, if and if I'm just being honest with you, you know, I also was addicted to validation, people pleasing. How many of you walked through that? I was promiscuous, people pleasing, needing to feel wanted, needing to feel enough. You know, I lived a double life, pretty much on the outside functioning, but on the inside, falling apart. And the hardest part, most people had no idea. No idea. People pleasing almost destroyed me, and it doesn't get talked about enough. God gave me an out with this loss, this last loss. Let me tell you, me and God is working through some things, and that's what that look, that's why I love y'all. I love God, that's why I love Him so much. Because we working through some things. Do you hear me? We working through some things. I said yes when I, you know, should have said no. I gave when I was empty. I showed up for everyone, but abandoned myself because deep down I believed if I can just make everyone else happy, maybe I'll be finally enough. But the truth, you can lose your identity friend trying to keep everyone else comfortable. I did. And then came the pain that no parent should ever have to carry. The loss of my son. There are no words big enough for that kind of grief. It's just not sadness, it's a tearing, a silence that's so loud, a space in your life that can never be filled, but by God. And some days it feels impossible just for me to even breathe, some days. Other days you function, but your heart is still shattered. Grief didn't just visit me, it moved in. So when everything collides, let's talk about that. Addiction, broken identity, grief, you know, it collides. And there are moments that you may think that you won't make it through. Moments where the pain feels louder than your purpose, where escape feels easier than healing. Even God sometimes for some people. But there's something in you, friend, I want to tell you, even if it's small, don't give up. Don't give up. There's a turning point. Healing doesn't start when everything gets better. It starts when you get honest. Honest about the addiction, honest about the pain, honest about the mask that we wear. Because you cannot heal what you keep hiding, friends. Secrets keep us sick. Remember that. And for the first time, I stopped pretending I was okay and let God in. Rebuilding my life did not happen overnight. Let me be honest. It looked like getting back up when I wanted to stay down, choosing differently, even when it was hard, letting go of who I thought I had to be. Some days I still struggle, let me tell you, because I ain't perfect. I this last loss, whoo, I'm not perfect. Some days grief hits out of nowhere, and let me tell you, it hits, but I'm not who I used to be, and that is what matters. I would love to tell you that I've always had strong faith, but like I told you, in these last few months, years, that faith was as small as a mustard seed. You know, there were moments that I didn't understand. How could this happen? Why my son? Why this pain? But even in those questions, y'all, God never left and he never leaves. He meets us in the broken places, not with quick answers, but with his presence. And sometimes that's what carries us through. That right there, friend, is what carries us through. So if you're listening right now and you feel like giving up, please stay. You don't have to have it all figured out, you don't need all the answers, friend. You just need to take one more step, then another, then another. And one day you'll look back and you'll realize you made it through something you thought would destroy you. And not only did you survive, you became stronger because of it. That's powerful, isn't it? Yes. If you're listening to this as well, and you feel like your past or what you're walking through right now disqualifies you, like your pain is too much, like you've gone too far. I need you to hear me. I've been there. Addiction, shame, still grief, brokenness. I'm still here, still healing, still growing, still standing. And you can too. Your story is not over, friend. And the very things that try to destroy you can become the reason someone else survives. So I thank you guys for tuning in today. And I want to let you know this is honestly speaking, alone together, where we don't hide, or we stop hiding, and we start healing together. Remember that God loves you, and so do I. Enjoy your good Friday as you reflect of all that Jesus did just for you. Jesus thought you were to die for.