Episode 6 | Generations W/ Ethan Cox

Join us for a special family conversation on Cultural Connections as we sit down with our 19-year-old son, Ethan Cox. Ethan shares his real-life experiences navigating Gen Z culture — from Christian school to public high school sports teams, building authentic relationships, witnessing to teammates, balancing friendships, mental health struggles, secret sins, and discovering what true servant leadership looks like in ministry.

This heartfelt episode is packed with practical wisdom for parents, teens, young adults, and anyone who wants to reach the next generation with the Gospel.

**Timestamps:**
- 00:00 - Welcome to Cultural Connections
- 00:47 - Introducing Ethan Cox
- 01:38 - Family context and Easter weekend
- 02:37 - Ethan's transition from Christian school to public school sports
- 04:22 - Being "the only Bible" some people read
- 05:06 - How "normal" Christians appear to non-believers
- 06:17 - Conversations & debates at public high school
- 08:09 - The power of relationships and parents befriending kids' friends
- 09:37 - Balancing influence without being influenced
- 12:26 - Making your home the fun, safe haven
- 16:04 - Rules without relationship = rebellion
- 17:02 - Key perspective shift: "I'm here for them"
- 20:12 - "Man's Search for Meaning" & having the right 'why'
- 21:52 - Standing for Christ in Christian vs public school
- 25:39 - Mental health struggles among Gen Z
- 27:44 - The secret battle with pornography
- 33:15 - Ethan's ministry calling: Servant leadership
- 36:56 - Final advice to his generation
- 38:23 - Closing thoughts

If this episode encouraged you, please **LIKE**, **SUBSCRIBE**, and share it with a parent, teen, or young adult who needs it! Drop a comment below: What stood out to you most?

#CulturalConnections #Generations #GenZ #ChristianParenting #FaithAndCulture #ServantLeadership #MentalHealthAndFaith

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Welcome back to Cultural Connections, and uh we are so glad that you're tuning in with us. We are having conversations, and so we pick up the conversation today and talking about generations. And so, Marie, we are joined by uh a fairly notable person in our life. So maybe you want to introduce our I hate to say guest, that would be disrespectful, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

This is our one and only son. We have three daughters, but this is our son, Ethan. Um, he's 19 years old, and honestly, I know parents probably really say this about all their kids, but Ethan is a very, very good son and a very good person. And we thought this was a a great guest to have on here because he's someone that really is in the culture, he's in this generation. Um, he's experienced it really from kind of both sides. He was raised in a Christian school for most of his grade levels, and then he did play sports for public schools in high school. Um, he also played on secular um sports teams when he was young. But then for his last semester in high school, he went to a public school to finish out um as we moved here back to Florida. So he's kind of been in all these different areas. So I thought he would be a great person as well, just to kind of talk to.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

So he's home for the weekend. It's uh Easter weekend as we were recording this, and uh, I'm really glad you're home uh for a couple of reasons. One is um when you went to college, it was your mom and three sisters, and so there's a lot of estrogen flowing through the house and uh conversations I personally don't feel comfortable uh being privy to, and so it's just really good to have another dude around that uh lightens the mood. We get to talk about guy stuff. So glad you're home this weekend. Gonna play guitar a little bit uh tomorrow. And um, okay, so you you did a great job kind of setting up kind of where we're going. So maybe talk talk through the difference between we had a Christian school in New Smyrna, and then you were playing uh sports as a private school student for a public school uh sports team, and then you graduated from Lemon Bay High School. Maybe talk about some of the adjustments or maybe the shock value. What was what were those transitions like for you?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Yeah, so like you said, I attended our Christian school since second grade, all the way through high school. I was in a Christian school until my senior year. Uh when I was in ninth grade was my first kind of experience of really being around a lot of like not Christian people. I played on the golf team at New Smarta Beach. And I went out there and the guys figured out I went to Space Coach Christian Academy, and they called me the Christian space cadet and kind of made it a joke around my Christianity. And so for the first while, like first weeks, maybe first few months, I was kind of the kid that got made fun of for it. But I was just happy to be on the team around cool kids. I just I didn't really allow it to affect me. But the more I was on the team and the more the guys saw that I was normal, so to say, they started asking questions. And after one guy would ask a question, another guy would ask a question, and it was something just as simple as like, like, who is God? They didn't even know. I was shocked that someone said who's Jesus. They didn't know they never heard of Jesus. Um, there was one of the guys we were playing in an actual match, and he had asked me about Jesus, and he what he said to me stuck with me. He said, There's something that you have that the rest of the guys here don't have. And I don't really know what that is. And that really hit me. And I explained it to him, and long short short, uh, he ended up trusting Christ as a savior on the golf course.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

But there was something about uh my testimony that they had never experienced or never seen before. And it wasn't long before that that you were preaching one time and said that oftentimes we are the only Bible that people will ever read. And after that interaction, what really stuck to me was the way I handle myself around other people.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Even those guys on that team, um a few times waiting in, passing around vapes and all of that. Um, they were good kids, but that was just normal to them. And uh they even knew not to offer it to me because deep down I never told them it was wrong, but they knew that I didn't take point.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Yeah, my pastor used to say if you ever want to know how a saved person is supposed to live, just ask someone who's lost. Um, so I want to tap back into something. You said um they said something about you're you are normal. Like, what do they mean by that? What does an unsaved person need to know about how normal Christians should be? I I almost said are, but but should be. What were they what are they really talking about?

SPEAKER_00 5:06

So I think to them, like when you say I'm a Christian, I think their immediate reaction was they thought I was gonna judge them or not have conversations about golf or talk about the day. And I went out there and I never forced Jesus on them. I never made made it conversation, I just allowed it to flow naturally. And just talking to the guys about sports or talking to the guys about golf, like I think it took them by surprise that I was kind to them, even though I was living completely different than they were. And obviously that stuck out to them because they kept following up with more questions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

I would say too, um, and Lemon Bay, I know you talked about some kids like having debates with you in class. So maybe my question for you is what do they think about God? Because they obviously have some kind of an idea in their mind. Hence as a Christian, they think there's something weird about you or something. I think if we use the word unknown, because the unknown scares people a lot. And so for them, God is unknown, therefore his followers are are unknown.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Um, so maybe share about some of the encounters you had at at the high school, really just kind of debating back and forth of the Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

So that's my senior year, the second half when I went to a public school. And one of the guys I sat next to in class, uh, he asked me why I transferred in as a senior second semester. And I told him my dad was pastoring a church here in Englewood. And his first reaction was kind of like taken back, and then he started to ask questions. He was like, Oh, so you believe in God? And I was like, Yes, I do. And he said he reads the Bible and he his his words were, I'm religious. And so when I began to ask him about it, he didn't he didn't really understand. And he said that he didn't feel the need to go to church because he could get that same thing reading his Bible. But he didn't understand really the application of what it was to apply it to your life. He just thought that, you know, God is just a kind of a set of rules, so to speak.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Or maybe something to be studied.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

I think your generation um has oftentimes struggled with what they call organized religion. So if a person says they're spiritual or even religious, they're trying to exist outside the perimeter of an organized system. And I don't really think they know what they mean by that definition. Uh, but that kind of takes us to a second topic, which is I've observed, you can tell me if I'm wrong. You can't always tell me if I'm wrong, but you can't right now. Um your generation, I think, is highly relational. So, what's the advantage for us in saying, here is, here are the walls of Calvary Baptist Church, here is the doctrinal statement of Calvary Baptist Church, here's the history of this church, there's membership, there's ordinances, there's leadership. That that's what I think they mean by organized religion, but yet I observe that your friends have been highly welcoming of my attention in their life. So maybe talk us through what relationships do to break down some of those walls.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Yeah, so I could take an example back when we lived in California, and a lot of the the whole football team would come to our house and you would feed them, and we'd all just hang out and fit 25 guys in a little hot tub. But one of the reasons why they always said, like, you have you have the coolest parents. Like so many guys in the team told me they would have done anything to trade parents with me. At the time I didn't really understand what that meant because it was just normal. Like how you guys parented me was just normal. But the guys talked to me, and I and I asked them one time, I was like, What is it about my dad and my mom that you guys like talk about all the time? Like, you remember we'd be walking to practice and you'd be walking to your office, and the whole football team is screaming Big D. And they just I don't know what their dog is. I love all loved seeing you. And I asked them and they just said it's because you were someone of prominence, so to speak, there, but you still took time to know their names, ask them how their day was, show up to their games, and and that was just something that they hadn't really experienced. And so, even to take it back to when I was playing playing at Lemon Blay or playing in New Smyrna, those guys only listened to what I had to say about Jesus because I was their friend first. And I've seen the same thing happen in those friends' lives with your relation to them because the intentional friendship first is what allows them to let you speak into them.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

I I have a question if it's okay. Um because that that kind of leads me to another topic where I think sometimes Christians, you know, teenagers and also their parents struggle with where's the balance to allow you to have a relationship or or you know be friends with someone who doesn't carry the same values or even knows Christ as or savior, right? So sometimes there could be influences that are obviously bad in a way. So how do you balance out having a relationship with someone that doesn't know Christ as or savior, or maybe even someone that their standards are just well lower than what yours are, but yet still having that influence? How do how do you balance that? Because I think that is where there's a struggle with Christians in your age group.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Are you saying relations with authority?

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Uh no, with with like teenagers your age, you know, let's say that like at the public school, they want a relationship with you. Um, but maybe their influences are are pretty worldly, we would say, and things that you don't agree with. So how do you balance being friends but yet not being influenced?

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah. Um when I was really involved, because now obviously I go to a Christian college and it's different, but when I was involved as the only person trying to live right in an environment like that, uh, I I think back to what you told me when I was going into playing on public sports teams, you said there's there's three types of relationship. There's the people that are in it for a season, there's the people that are in your life to teach you a lesson, and there's the people in your life that are your lifelong friends. And those people in your lives that are for a season, say knowing I was only gonna be at that high school or on that team for a little bit, um, I use that opportunity almost as a as a chance to, you know, not take part in the things that they do. As in, like when I went to the public school at Lemon Bay, I the first day I was there, I sat down at a lunch table with random guys, and they invited me to go to their bonfire. And uh not just the bonfire that was gonna go on there, yeah. But was that just in the wrong way? And uh I thought I was like, no, I don't go to that type of stuff. And that guy ended up coming to the youth group every week. Wow after that. And I think it's just when when people my age see someone that's living different, at first their their reaction is to make fun of it because it's different. But then deep down they respect it. That's what I've seen with those guys as they didn't see why I lived the way I did, but they respected that I did it, and not to act like I was some perfect model because there was times I could have stood up more than I did. But I think being straight up with my age, like they really respect that, but still being kind to them. And he ended up getting saved here at the youth group. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

I was gonna say if uh maybe a parent's watching the temptation sometimes is to put maybe people in our children's lives at uh opposition to us. And I think one of the things we tried to do is your friends would be my friends, um, because I didn't want there to be a tension between, oh, you can come to the house, dad's not around, or you can come, nobody's there. Like, no, your your friends were our friends. Um, if Sawyer's watching from Chicago, I was thinking about Sawyer. Uh Sawyer would sometimes drive me crazy, but I I really tried to be tried to be Sawyer's friend. And um, yeah, family members as well, that were just they were there all the time. But tried to, as you said, uh I don't remember saying that to you about three types of people, but that was good. I'll have to put that in my book someday. Um, but it's true. I mean, maybe you can speak into that. We try to make our home like a haven for our our children's friends.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Yeah. So I would say part of as parents, how we we tried to make sure he was able to influence people without them influencing him in a negative sense was things happened at our house. So in order for that to happen, we had to make our house the really fun house that people wanted to go to. Right. So whether when they were younger, it was the giant trampoline or we we lived on like a large property where we could play manhunt well into the night, right? And and we were playing with them. That was part of it. So it was the fun place to hang out. So we didn't have this conflict of Ethan or one of our daughters saying, you know, we want to go over to this person's house. They're gonna do something really fun because our house was the place where we were gonna have fun. And we could just keep an eye. And and I agree with what you said. We made sure that they knew that they could they could come to us like parents. I mean, for a lot of them, they would say, You're like, you're like a parent to me. And that was our goal. Sure. Um, to make sure that we were influencing those who might have some influence on our children. Yeah. Um, so just making sure that that we can just just see and and guide, because that's really important. Um, I remember, did you want to say that?

SPEAKER_02 14:30

No, I was just gonna say one of my favorite memories in California was uh, as you said, there probably I think there were 18 guys in the hot tub, actually. And there was that big vat of ice cream floating on the top of the water with the community spoon, actually more more like a spatula. And I was a little frustrated after the guys left because uh yeah, there were popcorn kernels and all types of things in the hot tub, but you guys are doing safe things, um having a good time, nothing irreverent or irreligious or anything like that. Guys just being being being dudes, having having a good time in a safe environment. Uh man, I think that's so important because one of the things I think you helped me with this. I didn't help you with this. Uh, I was probably Captain No uh early on, because no is easy, I think, right? It was no. Well, why not? Well, just no. We and you've always been a why person, uh, which is a thinking man's game. Like, why do we do this? And so offering alternatives is kind of where I was going with that. Uh it's even Easter season, and so there might be conscience issues that people deal with. We tried to not ever take anything away from the kids that we didn't provide a safe or adequate replacement for that because we didn't want our kids to say, Well, I can't do that. Well, why can't you do that? Well, I'm a Christian, or I can't do that because my dad's a pastor. Like that and we didn't talk about this. Did you feel like you lost out on a lot of things? Or do you feel like we tried to replace those things maybe with travel or spending time together?

SPEAKER_00 16:04

No, not at all. Um, when you guys started the Christian school, remember all the time uh you would say at the school, rules of that relationship read rebellion. And I think that's been one of the biggest components to our relationship as parents to child, is that I never felt like I was missing out because there was that relationship there. And I deep down there, not all the time, especially when I was younger, but I knew that the reason I wasn't supposed to do certain things was because of my respect for you guys. Because I knew you weren't just saying no just to like you said, you never just told me no without a reason or an alternative. And I think that was huge in the like wanting the relationship. And when I felt like there were times I disappointed or didn't do what was right, it harmed me more than than I think a lot of times would have because I felt like I hurt the relationship first.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Are you gonna take the uh conversation a different direction?

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Well, um, I was kind of going back, but I mean I can go ahead and say what I was thinking about saying. Um, I remember one day you had been going to the the public high school here for I'm gonna say it was probably uh maybe maybe four weeks, maybe that would be a fair statement. And I remember you were struggling a little bit with loneliness because you came from a large Christian school in California, you know, football team winning all kinds of offensive player of the year, I think, or something, something great. Bragging mom moment. Um, but you came from that where you were like highly respected. You're you're in this group, you have this big, big group of guys that you're just your butts. And then you come to a place where it it was really hard for you to have actual friends. I mean, and I remember your dad said to you, you need to change. Well, I'll let you say what he said to you.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Yeah, um, I don't think it was four weeks, I think it was about a week and a half. And the whole basketball team, because I I transferred here to play basketball, and the whole basketball team purposely would mention things in front of me that I wasn't invited to, just it was just to be rude. And it got to me for a while because I did go from being, you know, one of the guys on the football and basketball team at a smaller Christian school compared to the public school, then going to someone that felt like they purposely leave me out. And uh what you said to me when I was talking to you was that my mindset was wrong and that they weren't there for me, but I was there for them. And that day changed my whole outlook. I mean, even today. It wasn't what I could get out of them, the friendship that I get out of them. It was a friendship that I could put into them.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

So, how did that change your perspective? How did that how did that one statement from your father change the rest of your experience for for until you graduated?

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Yeah. Well, I stopped looking at people, what they could offer me. I stopped looking at those guys as like what fun we could have. Um, and it was it was more just about I'm only here for what 15 weeks. You know, what difference can I make in these people's lives? That is, I mean, far past the, you know, hey bro, what's up? You know, want to come hang out, run at a gas station, like the just the intentionality.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

And it was just like as we're called to do as Christians, it was much more of what I can help with than what I can take from it.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

And I would just, I would just add, especially if there's people watching maybe struggling in in a similar situation, that perspective is everything. Right. So in one tweak of your perspective changes not just your emotion, it did, it changed your emotion, but it also changed your direction, your actions. What are you going to do now? Because you had a different perspective. And once you realized they're not here for me, I am here for them. Now you have a purpose, right? And your purpose is to influence, and that will change, that will change everything.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

So your friend Kasen told uh Zen up, you told me yesterday was uh conducting a leadership meeting, and he asked the guys if they read a book, and you're, I think, the only one that read it. So maybe share with the audience that book, and I think it ties into what mom's talking about.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

So I was in an Usher meeting at college, and there was about 40, 40 guys there. And the the guy Kasen Britt, who was leading it, uh, said, Raise your hand if you've read the book Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel. And I raised my hand really quick because I was super excited, but I was kind of embarrassing because I was the only one. I felt like a nerd. And um, my dad made me read it when I was in like ninth grade. And the book is about a man, he was actually a uh psychologist who was in a Nazi concentration camp. And he wrote a book about his experiences there. But the main line from the book, which is what the guy was was talking about in my class, was a man can overcome any what if he has the right why. And it's just about having the right purpose. And when when you gave me and charged me with the with the right purpose, because I was going to you, you know, looking for some like encouragement, but instead of just like you know, giving me what I wanted to hear, you actually flipped it on me. And and that's exactly what he was talking about. There is when you are living with a purpose, then the little variables and the what's don't seem to matter anymore because there's a bigger goal in mind.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

If I might switch it just a little bit because a lot of what we talked about is really your influence among like lost people or like in a public school setting. But I would I would think that there's also this going on. Well, I know because we talked about it at home, maybe even in a Christian school or in a Christian college. So what is it like they're trying to be the person with the right influence when you're surrounded by people who call themselves Christian, whether they're not whether they are or not, is it more difficult than in the public school? Is it easier? How would you say it's different?

SPEAKER_00 21:51

It's very different. Um the the Christians at the Christian college, they all have the right answers. Um You know, they all they all could ace a Bible test. But at the public school with guys who've never opened up a Bible, um, you know, they they have no idea what that consists of. But the common variable between them is that my age and especially even younger can really spot genuineness. And um that is the biggest thing. And I think that's why you guys had such a big influence on my friends, is because you genuinely care about them. And I think that's what guys my age, even me, like really long for. It's just someone that cares.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

So really kind of what you're saying is it's kind of the same, whether you're in a Christian environment or a public school environment, they're all searching for the same thing. Um, is it harder to stand up for what's right in a Christian setting?

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Shockingly, I would say it is.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

That's what I would think. That's why I kind of asked it that way, because I would think that would be the answer. So maybe Cher, why is that the case?

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Well, I think um in the in the Christian environment, like in a in the Christian school, um you get, I would honestly say, like when I was in a Christian school in high school, you would get made fun of more for trying to stand up against everyone else than at at the public school. Um, and I'm not too sure why that is. Maybe you guys could speak more into that.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

I I have my thoughts on why this button.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Um I think the word Pharisee is the scarlet letter in our world. I don't think people want to be known as the nanny state uh pharisaical, legalistic person. I also think you're dealing with people who know what they're supposed to do and are not doing it. Like if you're at a public school, everyone does wrong because they don't know there's a better way many times. But in a Christian setting, we would assume most people do know the right way. And I've always said the most miserable people are not people who don't do the will of God and do not know it. People that know the will of God and do not do it. Those are truly miserable people. What what would your answer be?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I would say maybe in the public school, there's there's sort of this respect for something that's different, right? So they're seeing you, you're different, they're like, wow, I kind of I kind of like that. And they're kind of almost respecting something different. But I I would piggyback on what you said in the Christian school. They know what's right, and so there's part of them that that they know they're supposed to be doing the right thing, but they don't want to. So then they're gonna flip it into a into more of a judgmental, you know, outplay or whatever. So it is it is more because now you're with people who really are your peers, right? We're we're all kind of the same. Sure. But that definitely would make it more difficult, I think.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

But it's kind of bridge a gap to mental health. Uh, we were talking before the show about other statistics. Um Vance Havner said there were three types of statistics white lies, black lies, and statistics. Um, but statistics can say whatever we want them to say, but we do see there is a mental health. I don't know where this was, and so I can't attribute it. Um, someone was talking recently about spiritual mental health, and they put spiritual on it because for some reason in the Christian world there's a taboo against talking about mental health. So they called it spiritual mental health, which is like I kind of thought was funny. Like when you become a Christian, talk about being normal, like when you become a Christian, you don't cease to have a brain or a mind. But anyway, that was a rabbit trail, but at least I I got I'm back on the trail now. Okay, so mental health. Um, at the Christian college, where do you see um your classmates? Um, we've talked about anxiety, so we don't have to go maybe too deep on that. But uh your your friends struggle with mental health issues in some ways.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Um, I would say that a lot of my friends that I talk to, um they've it's hard for me to speak about it, but a lot of them have gone through a lot more than I have. Like my closest friend, or one of my closest friends, I'd say, at college, lost his brother not long ago at the college we're at. And they struggle. But even in that, like in their struggles, when you just sit down and talk to them, or just intentional. Like a lot of the guys, when I first got there, I was like, that doesn't seem like a very good guy. Like he's closed off, he wouldn't talk. But then you see him in the day room, just sitting there on on our on our seventh floor in the in the dorm, and you just talk to them and you ask them how they're doing, and you know, everyone says good. And then you pull up a chair and ask them how they're really doing. And they'll and they'll speak. And I mean, I've seen the biggest thing for me is those people that that take the time to actually talk to you and actually see how you're doing. I mean, it makes the biggest difference in the world, and for me as well. And like to my shame, sometimes I'm having such a bad little season, but I see that guy coming, the guy that's gonna be intentional with me. And I kind of avoid them because I don't really want to open up. But those are the people that make the biggest differences, and they're the people that aren't in positions of leadership. It's just people that actually ask you how you're doing. I don't know if that answered your question.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

No, I love that. Yeah, you've shared with me uh a number of uh younger men, they're older than you, but younger men who have been intentional with you and um made you made you accountable to them in some ways. And I I think that's really healthy. I think it's super impactful. Is there a common, so mental health is an umbrella, is there a common thing a lot of young people deal with? Is it discouragement? Is it what you'd call maybe anxiety? What are they anxious about? What are they frustrated about? Would you say there's kind of a bottom line? You're in college, so maybe they're all frustrated about maybe work issues or class loads or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Um, I mean, a lot of people my age really feared like the unknown, the future. Um, and I was talking about a few guys about this the other day, and this is a whole rabbit trail on its own. But I was talking about like secret sins amongst people my age, and they struggle with it so much because the devil convinces them that they're all by themselves. And I was actually talking to one of one of my uh good friends, Reagan Lewis, I think she was there, and um a kid who's been through a lot. And we we were talking, and I said, Reagan, if there's if there's 75 people um on our dorm floor, how many of you guys do you think struggle with pornography? And uh and he said, I'd say probably 68 out of 75. And my number was 73 out of 75.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

And the more people I've asked, uh, the higher the number gets. And so I think one of the reasons they struggle with with so much anxiety or pressure is because the devil, the devil has a hold of them, he's convinced them they're all on their own.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

And I and I say often, especially when I'm counseling someone who's maybe struggling with addiction, that um sin has so much more power in the dark. Right. So when you convince yourself that you're the only one here and you're the only one struggling with this, then you stay in the dark because you're afraid to bring it to light, you know, or even seeking for help from someone. And it has so much more power there. But when I can get them, even in the counseling room, just to say, just don't don't beat around the bush. I want you just to say in full, obvious terms, what are you struggling with? And even in those moments, you can see like the weight lift off of them because and they'll say to me, You're the only person I've ever said that to. Yeah, the only person I've ever said that to.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

But it's like the freedom in just speaking it out loud, and so the devil does that. He he convinces you where you're alone, and we see that in scripture all the time, right? Where he has even Elijah sitting there, or I always put Elisha sitting under the I'm the only one. Did I say it right?

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Elijah, Elijah, you shouldn't doubt yourself.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

I always looked at him like Elijah's.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

She was just mistaken.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

But same, you know, he's he's convinced he's all alone, and God has to run your number one. This is a positive.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

When he goes to a solitary place, yes, he went out of community, he left the revival meeting, and he went into isolation, and it's at that place he says he was the only one, which he did confess that on Mount Carmel, but then he he goes further into isolation that it's it's enough, Lord, take away my life. He will die in that place. And so God has to nourish him, eat this bread, drink this water, go back, find Elisha, and anoint him to be prophet in thy room, and anoint Hazel to be king. It's in community that we find deliverance, but the devil doesn't want us to find deliverance, and he doesn't want us to find community. So it's in friendship, it's in accountability. Um, I just said to a dear friend who, in that moment of temptation, I said, You need to call me. I couldn't do that. I said, You have to. Like, this is the way. Like, God provides a way of escape. And bringing someone into that place is so true. And Christianity, if I could just say, Christianity has learned to adapt to isolation, and it's a bad form of community. James says, confess your faults one to another, that you may be healed. And that doesn't mean we turn our collar around and become a Catholic priest. It means there's not, if I can use the theological word, expiation. It's not that if somebody comes to me or I go to someone, they can't atone for my sin. There's deliverance in bringing that to bear, bringing that into the life. It's everything spiritual about that, that you may be healed. The effectual, fervent prayer. Then he goes to Elisha in James 5. He was a man of like passions. Everybody has a everybody has the same feelings, emotions, and even temptations. But Paul says there's a way to escape. And God brings people into our lives. If we will be the person in temptation to go to that rescue, if we'll be that person that people can come to for rescue. And maybe that kind of brings the conversation full circle. You talked about being on the golf course being a safe place where people could ask questions in a non-judgmental way. I think the way forward for Christianity is the balance between grace and truth, holding extremely strong convictions, biblical convictions. Now, not reading those into scripture, and I think that's where our movement, for lack of a better word, really transgressed. We added to scripture what the Bible did not specifically say and made that equivalent to what Jesus said. But truth grounded in Scripture and grace saying Jesus not only will shed uh grace upon you, I will be a gracious person. I will be an extension of Jesus' grace and mercy to you because I've looked in the mirror and seen a broken person too. So you're training for ministry. Um, we're super proud of you. I want you to know that. What um what do you think God has for your life? Um, as in like, where do you think God's leading you? Like uh you're you're you're studying ministry. What are you interested in?

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Well, I'll say I think God's leading him back home start there.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

So Holy Spirit has spoken in my favorite class. It's called ministerial class, because my major is a pastoral degree, and it's by Pastor Redlin, who's the pastor of campus church. And the main theme, I'd say, of the whole year last minister in this semester, um, has been being a servant. And um, one of the guy or Pastor Redlin, he's talking in one of the lectures, and and he gave this long story, and I won't give the whole story for time's sake. But his job was to clean up trash, and someone threw trash on the ground, and he didn't want to pick it up because he was like, Oh, this person saw me picking up trash and threw it on the ground so that they could just throw it away. And and he said, in that moment, God convicted me so much because I'm here. That happened to him when he was in college, and he said, and I'm here studying for ministry, and I'm upset that I have to pick up someone else's trash. When in reality, ministry is just picking up people's trash for them, it's just being a servant. And he said, Being a pastor is not about speaking on the platform and everybody knowing your name and having you sign their Bible. But he says just washing people's feet, and that's obviously what we see Jesus do in scriptures, just washing people's feet. And so I was talking to Pastor Redlin a few weeks ago, and he was like, Are you a pastoral major? And I was like, Yes sir, I am. He's like, Oh, so is that what you want to do? Do you want to be a pastor? And I do, and and I said, Yes, sir, Pastor, I I do want to do that. But from your lectures, I mean, at the end of the day, I just I want to serve. I just want my life to count for something that's bigger than myself. And before when I first ran into preaching, I thought that that meant preaching to big crowds and seeing a lot of people saved. But after just going through my freshman year, I learned what it actually is is just washing people's feet and being there to talk to them. Just being personal. And those are the people that have made the biggest differences in my life. And so I don't really know what God has for me after college. Um, but I do know that like I just want to help people, no matter how big or how small.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Yeah, that's really good. I mean, and that's that's kind of what we tried to instill in all of our children is just what does God want you to do with your life? And I mean, I I think we could both say this. We just expect our children just to serve God, whatever that looks like. That's what we want. And um, and by the word serve, we mean be a servant for God. And if it means pick up trash, pick up trash. If it means clean the church building, then that's what we want you to do. And we've tried to instill that, and we're we've not we're not perfect parents by any stretch of the imagination. But um it just it it really does my mother's heart good to hear you say that because that really is that was our goal is to make little servants for Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

So amen. Well, Ethan, there's a tradition we have on cultural connections, and that is um your mom always gets the last word.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

I just had it.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

It works better that way. Are you uh are you uh I'm willing to give it back?

SPEAKER_01 36:19

You're giving it back? I'm willing to give it back.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

All right, so Ethan, you get the last word today. Um Gen Z. Great potential, uh, relationship driven. They like authenticity, they like to ask questions, they're struggling with mental health, but they can find healing and community and fellowship and ultimately in Christ. So maybe just put a big bow on this and then uh we'll let our viewers go about their day. What's what's uh the takeaway from our conversation in relating to people your age?

SPEAKER_00 36:56

So if I'm talking to people my age, um the biggest thing I'd say, because I'm still working through it and trying to figure out you know all of that, but the biggest thing I've found is being genuine in what you do. As an motive behind what you do is so much more important than I ever thought. Because, you know, my thought was, okay, if I just need to be, ask people how they're doing, talk to them. You know, that'll help them. But at the end of the day, when I did that, it was kind of to get something back in a way. Like, God, I'm gonna, I'm gonna help that I'm gonna help one of your child, so I expect you to help me back in return. And you kind of just you kind of just run yourself into the ground that way, constantly doing things to get something back. And so if I was gonna give anyone advice that's my age or in college or struggling with a lot, um, the biggest thing I'd say, which is the advice that you gave me in high school, was don't look at people as something you can get from them, but look at people as what you can put into them with a genuine motive behind it. You know, I'm not putting into them because I expect God to give me something in return, but I'm putting into them because of all that God's already put into me.

SPEAKER_04 38:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

And so that is that is one of the biggest and most important things I would say, is just pouring into people and loving people.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

Awesome. Oh, the world awaits you, uh listener, to make an impact, to reach out. Don't live in isolation. And let me say this don't criticize the darkness if you're not willing to shed your light. And how we do that is not really on social media, is not really at a distance, but to come in contact as salt. Jesus says you're the salt of the earth. Salt is incapable of any purpose until it comes in contact with an agent. And come in contact with someone today. Um, for those of us who are parents who still have influence with our children, seize those golden moments in their lives. As grandparents, man, you have a huge pivotal role of acceptance and loving and just listening and being present. And as church members, friends, leaders, um, let's let's come in contact with a young person from Gen Z. Let's befriend them. Uh, let's be lifelong friends and uh let's let's make a difference. And I'm excited for your generation because I I can see that my generation maybe piloted and pioneered some things, asked some good questions. I think the future of the church, if I can use that term very broadly, I think it's very bright because I I think your generation is going to be very relational and very real and very authentic. And the only danger to that is being so authentic, we become a rule to ourselves and we're not grounded in truth. But let's stay together and pray together. And I'm looking forward to seeing what God does in your life as um you finish uh your education and and see what God leads you to do. And um you'll get back on a plane on Monday, and then it's uh me, Marie, and the three girls again, and we love that. So thank you for tuning in to the podcast today. God bless you. If you like the content, please like uh this episode, share it with those that um you'd like to see what's going on here, and we hope you have a wonderful weekend, and God bless you. Thanks again for tuning in.