SPEAKER_00: If you have a copy of God's word, go ahead and grab it.
SPEAKER_00: Turn to Ephesians chapter 5.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I did a wardrobe change.
SPEAKER_00: Because if I'm going to talk about marriage, I can't look like an idiot up here.
SPEAKER_00: Just throwing that out there.
SPEAKER_00: You're not going to take it or listen to anything I say if I'm up here in a vest that looks like I should be waiting in a river.
SPEAKER_00: And so Ephesians chapter 5 is where we're going to look this morning.
SPEAKER_00: We have been singing that song, Christ the True and Better, for over the last month.
SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you, it's a song that I actually has asked Alan if he would be willing to add into the songs that we sing.
SPEAKER_00: And you might like that song, you might not like that song.
SPEAKER_00: But the truth of this song is what we see all throughout Scripture, just as Jesus said, that we see figures in Scripture, but all of Scripture points to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And so we see people in the Old Testament, and we're not meant to go, look how great they are, but we're look, we're to look and see how they point us to Christ when He comes.
SPEAKER_00: That's why Jesus told the Pharisees that they searched the scriptures because in them they believe that they have eternal life.
SPEAKER_00: If I just live this way, if I just do these things, then I'm good.
SPEAKER_00: But those things in the Old Testament, the law, um, the sacrifices, all of them were pointing to the coming of Christ and the need for a savior.
SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful when we see that things in Scripture aren't necessarily meant to be taken at face value, but to point us to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And that is exactly what marriage does.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage is a parable of Christ's love for his church.
SPEAKER_00: And what that means is, is within marriage we see a deeper meaning in that marriage is supposed to point us to Christ because it's an example of Christ to us.
SPEAKER_00: So we're going to talk about marriage this these next two weeks.
SPEAKER_00: And I'll just go ahead and be up front with you right now.
SPEAKER_00: Paul started with the ladies, so we're going to start with the ladies this week.
SPEAKER_00: Men don't laugh.
SPEAKER_00: Because next week's coming.
SPEAKER_00: And your job is much harder.
SPEAKER_00: But we're going to talk about marriage this week and why God designed marriage the way that He did, and why God gave specific roles to the genders in marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Why it's not meant to be, and it's not presented as anything that is of lesser value.
SPEAKER_00: Both husband and wife have value within the marriage, but they both have specific roles that God has given them.
SPEAKER_00: And those roles are meant to not only honor the Lord, but be a depiction of the Lord's love for us and in turn our love for Him.
SPEAKER_00: I say all that before we get in because I know in your mind and in the passage that we're going to read, you're going to see one word, and you're going to stop listening.
SPEAKER_00: So here's what I'm going to ask you to do.
SPEAKER_00: Don't stop listening until I begin to pray us into a time of response.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to what I'm saying and what the word of God says, as the psalmist writes in Psalm 119, 18.
SPEAKER_00: Help me to see, help me to behold wondrous things from your law, wondrous things from your word.
SPEAKER_00: So that is my prayer that you would have this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, help me and teach me to see wondrous things from your law and why you have given this to us and what we are to do in response.
SPEAKER_00: So if you are able and willing, would you stand with me as we read we read God's word?
SPEAKER_00: And we're going to be reading verses 22 to 24 of Ephesians chapter 5.
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5.
SPEAKER_00: Verses 20 through 22 through 24.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
SPEAKER_00: Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
SPEAKER_00: May God add his blessings to the reading of his word.
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
SPEAKER_00: Father, I pray right now in this moment.
SPEAKER_00: God, that you would relinquish and disarm any attack of the enemy that would come into the minds of those that are in this room or watching online at this moment.
SPEAKER_00: And Father, I pray, I pray that our collective desire would be that you would receive honor and glory from your word.
SPEAKER_00: God, that we would not seek to dismiss or look over your word, but seek to understand rightly what you are saying within your word.
SPEAKER_00: Father, give us ears to hear and eyes to see.
SPEAKER_00: God, I pray that you would give me the words to say as I have prayed throughout this whole week, Father, that I would rightly bring your text before your people and that they would rightly hear your design for marriage as beautiful as it is.
SPEAKER_00: How it is not simply a construct, but it it is a way in which you show your love for us, and a way in which we show our love for you.
SPEAKER_00: Father, you are the head of your church, you are the bridegroom, and we are the bride.
SPEAKER_00: We desire to be ready for your coming.
SPEAKER_00: We desire to be a people that's prepared, a people that is seeking after you in anticipation of you coming.
SPEAKER_00: We see this all throughout scripture.
SPEAKER_00: Father, this moment we we see it in this passage.
SPEAKER_00: We pray that you would be the head, that you would be overall, and that our desire would be to seek to honor you with our lives.
SPEAKER_00: We pray this all in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: You may be seated.
SPEAKER_00: Last week, towards the end of our passage, we we got the desire in the beginning, in the towards the end of our passage, we got what God desires of us to be imitators of Christ and to be spirit-filled.
SPEAKER_00: Now, all of us upon salvation are filled with the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_00: That term to be spirit-filled means to allow the spirit to permeate and move through, have influence over everything in your life.
SPEAKER_00: And that is why the apostle Paul kind of went through that path of to imitate after Christ, to, and he gave us some compared contrast.
SPEAKER_00: Don't do these things, but instead do this.
SPEAKER_00: Don't walk in this way.
SPEAKER_00: Instead, ex you know, walk in this way.
SPEAKER_00: And this is how he walks us through.
SPEAKER_00: And then we got to verse 18 that that is the culmination of being on guard.
SPEAKER_00: Look for yourselves, this darkness within you.
SPEAKER_00: And he says, Don't be drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but to be filled with the spirit.
SPEAKER_00: And he gave us those attributes of being filled with the spirit, which is addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00: This is a heart that's spirit-filled, that humbly, that is a heart that's humble and worshipful unto the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Now, we didn't focus on verse 21 last week because I wanted to, it's going to bring us into this week.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 21.
SPEAKER_00: Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
SPEAKER_00: All of us are called to submit to serve one another out of reverence to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And this is modeled for us in Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And this is the example that we have in Christ as being imitators of Him.
SPEAKER_00: Philippians chapter 2.
SPEAKER_00: Starting in verse 1, Paul says, So if there's any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
SPEAKER_00: Here's verse 3.
SPEAKER_00: Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
SPEAKER_00: Let each of you not look only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
SPEAKER_00: And the apostle Paul will go on and say that this is what Christ did, who humbled himself in the form of a servant.
SPEAKER_00: But Christ also says that he came in the form of the servant.
SPEAKER_00: Matthew chapter 20, starting in verse 25.
SPEAKER_00: But Jesus called them to him and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.
SPEAKER_00: Listen, words of Jesus here.
SPEAKER_00: It shall not be so among you.
SPEAKER_00: But whoever would be great among you must be your servant.
SPEAKER_00: And whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus says, the authority that the Gentiles have over people, they lord it over them, but that shouldn't be you.
SPEAKER_00: Even if you are great, like Christ, with the example we have in here, Christ is great.
SPEAKER_00: He was a servant, even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve.
SPEAKER_00: All of us are called to serve one another as spirit-filled followers of Christ, to serve one another or to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, out of a regard for Christ, to be a servant.
SPEAKER_00: We will see that Paul will address really four areas where this happens in our day-to-day life: wives to husbands, husbands to wives, children to fathers, and employee or slave to master.
SPEAKER_00: He starts though with marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Now, of those four things, really, when it comes to marriage, this is a voluntary, not an involuntary service.
SPEAKER_00: And here's why.
SPEAKER_00: You didn't get to choose who your children were.
SPEAKER_00: That's who God blessed you with.
SPEAKER_00: In this day and age, when it came to slaves, slaves didn't really get to choose a master.
SPEAKER_00: And so this is the only realm that Paul gives where this is a voluntary service.
SPEAKER_00: When you enter into this union as a spouse, as a wife, you are volunteering to submit under the headship of your husband, who God back in Genesis chapter 2 gave authority to submit to him as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: So here's the main idea that I want you to see this morning.
SPEAKER_00: A spirit-filled wife is one that serves her or submits to her husband.
SPEAKER_00: Now that word submit, you're sitting there going, I don't know if I like that word.
SPEAKER_00: Look, stay with me.
SPEAKER_00: Let's look and see what God means by that, because He's called all of us to submit.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands are gonna serve their wives.
SPEAKER_00: That's the other thing that we see.
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna submit to and serve their wife.
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna serve their wife like Christ loved the church and served the church, gave himself up for her.
SPEAKER_00: And so this serving and submitting is a twofold thing, but he's gonna start with the wife first.
SPEAKER_00: And a spirit-filled wife is one that serves her husband.
SPEAKER_00: Now, the reason why we get uncomfortable with this is because it is contrary to progressive radicalism that we see in our world that would say marriage is a bad thing.
SPEAKER_00: It is a, you've heard it's a modern form of slavery, but that's not what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_00: So let's let's see what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_00: The Bible calls marriage a good thing.
SPEAKER_00: It was not good that Adam was alone in Genesis chapter 2, and so God made for him a helpmate, someone to come alongside and pick up where he falls short.
SPEAKER_00: That's what that's what wives are supposed to be a helpmate.
SPEAKER_00: There's no greater value in the husband, there's no greater value in the wife.
SPEAKER_00: They are equal, they are helpmates of one another.
SPEAKER_00: God's creation of the woman, as one commentator says, was the completion and perfection of his covenant acts.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage was the great good that topped creation.
SPEAKER_00: It flows then that marriage is good regardless of what we make it.
SPEAKER_00: God saw it wasn't good for man to be alone, so he made of help date, helpmate.
SPEAKER_00: And again, Paul is gonna show how the gospel completely changes how marriage is meant to be viewed because in verse 20 or 32, Paul's gonna go on to say, this is a mystery, this marriage mystery.
SPEAKER_00: And what I'm saying is it's a depiction of Christ and his church.
SPEAKER_00: It proclaims the love of Christ, and it's to be a depiction of Christ's love for his church and the church's love for him.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage is not a derogatory service, it isn't a chore, it isn't self-serving.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage is meant to display Christ's love for the church and the church's submission to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: This is how God designed marriage.
SPEAKER_00: That the husband is responsible for the family, that he is the one that we be held accountable before God.
SPEAKER_00: That is why when Eve ate of the tree, it is on Adam that she did so.
SPEAKER_00: This is the responsibility that God has given to your husband and husbands in the room.
SPEAKER_00: This is your responsibility.
SPEAKER_00: The discipleship of within your home, how your family operates, how your family lives is on you.
SPEAKER_00: This is why next week we we will hit this hard.
SPEAKER_00: That this is the responsibility you have been given.
SPEAKER_00: And we see this in scripture in different areas.
SPEAKER_00: Specifically, we see this within the church.
SPEAKER_00: Because if marriage is supposed to depict the church to the Lord, then let's see this novel idea.
SPEAKER_00: That's why God put put men as pastors over the church because they're the ones that will be accountable, just like they are in their families.
SPEAKER_00: They're accountable within the church.
SPEAKER_00: This is how God has designed it.
SPEAKER_00: It's not meant to be any kind of subservient view, it's not chauvinist.
SPEAKER_00: It is his design because that is that is how he put it together, and all of it fits within.
SPEAKER_00: There's not one that's viewed less and one that's viewed greater.
SPEAKER_00: Each of them have a responsibility and a job to do given by God.
SPEAKER_00: Paul is talking about biblical marriage here.
SPEAKER_00: And what I mean is this Paul is not talking about the caricature of traditional marriage as we know it, where there is division and there is dominance, where the man goes and works and the wife uh sits at home or stays at home and cooks and cleans and does laundry and is kind of uh of this uh lesser than.
SPEAKER_00: That's not what marriage Paul is talking about here.
SPEAKER_00: He's talking about a biblical marriage where each serves the other, each submits to the other, and each seeks to be an example to the other.
SPEAKER_00: The wife is to be an example of a person who submits and serves the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: The husband is to be like Jesus to his wife.
SPEAKER_00: Both of those tasks are extremely difficult, but both of them have been assigned by God for you to carry out if you are married in this room, if you desire to be married in this room.
SPEAKER_00: Dominance and division is exactly what we would see in the Roman household during this time as well.
SPEAKER_00: What Paul will do with the next three examples is he will flip them up on his head.
SPEAKER_00: And with the last example of slave and master, he will flip it so hard that he basically will make it null and void to be serving in this slave master role because of how they are to treat one another to where it completely undermines that system.
SPEAKER_00: But within marriage, he flips it up on his head to where it is culturally, culturally in Roman in the Roman world.
SPEAKER_00: If a wife were to cheat on her husband, the husband could take her out and stone her and nothing happened.
SPEAKER_00: If the husband cheated on his wife, if his wife said anything about it, he could take her and have her thrown in jail.
SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're talking about here.
SPEAKER_00: Paul is flipping this on its head.
SPEAKER_00: One's role is to be an example of a person who serves the Lord, the other is to be an example of the Lord to his family.
SPEAKER_00: So let's look at the first thing.
SPEAKER_00: We've already talked about a little a little bit.
SPEAKER_00: For wives, marriage is a voluntary submission.
SPEAKER_00: You volunteered when your husband said, Will you marry me?
SPEAKER_00: You said yes.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: This wasn't an arranged marriage, this wasn't a you don't have a choice.
SPEAKER_00: You submitted or you volunteered for this role of being this man's wife.
SPEAKER_00: This example of service that Paul gives is the only one, again, that is voluntary, and that's in marriage.
SPEAKER_00: But but look specifically, verse 22.
SPEAKER_00: Wives submit to your what's the word there?
SPEAKER_00: Say it louder.
SPEAKER_00: Own husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so any other man that comes to you trying to act like your husband, no, that's not that's not his role, and that's not your role.
SPEAKER_00: Again, this this is going against what that culture would be, which were men were more dominant, men had authority, so it wasn't even if even if it wasn't your husband, you had to listen.
SPEAKER_00: What Paul is saying, so wife, submit to your own husband, like serve your own husband as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Serve to serve your husband the same way that you serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: The wife's submission is but another aspect of love.
SPEAKER_00: As one commentator put it, what does it mean to submit?
SPEAKER_00: It means to give up of oneself to somebody.
SPEAKER_00: What does it mean to love?
SPEAKER_00: It means to give up of oneself to somebody.
SPEAKER_00: The wife is to lovingly give up of oneself, which goes back to submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, which goes back to a humility that comes with being spirit-filled, to give up of oneself for somebody.
SPEAKER_00: You you are saying I I give up of myself to you.
SPEAKER_00: Let's think about traditional marriage vows.
SPEAKER_00: I enter your name, take thee, inner his name, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward for better and worse, for richer or poorer, and sickness and health, to love and cherish, and to obey.
SPEAKER_00: Some people take that word out, and to obey till death do us part.
SPEAKER_00: Your the passion of that service was not being old-fashioned, and he wasn't being a chauvinist.
SPEAKER_00: He was pointing you to the biblical example of what God is calling to the wife.
SPEAKER_00: This is a biblical calling for a spouse, and this is where God's design for marriage differs from the world that we live in.
SPEAKER_00: This is why marriage, if you look outside the church, and even inside the church without an understanding of what marriage is, that's why it's in disarray.
SPEAKER_00: In some cases, you have a husband that are absent emotionally, spiritually, sometimes even physically from the home.
SPEAKER_00: And so you have a wife that has to feel like she has to cover all the duties.
SPEAKER_00: You have a man that's not taking responsibility for what he has, and so the wife feels like she has to come in and do all of it.
SPEAKER_00: Then on the flip side of that, you have a man that's trying to lead his family, trying to To honor the Lord, and you have a wife that's trying to uh butt heads or jockey for position on who's gonna have the ultimate authority in the marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And and then you have two spouses whose sole purpose is in marriage is just making sure that the other spouse makes them happy at all times.
SPEAKER_00: It's self-serving.
SPEAKER_00: In his book, The Meaning of Marriage, I have it here, I'll reference it in a second.
SPEAKER_00: Tim Keller says one of the greatest epidemics when it comes to singleness in America and people that are getting ready to be married is there's two things.
SPEAKER_00: You have two different things that happen.
SPEAKER_00: Number one, uh, everybody has their list, we'll talk about this in a second, their list of attributes they want from the their spouse.
SPEAKER_00: And you have to measure up to everything that's on this list.
SPEAKER_00: If you don't, on to the next one.
SPEAKER_00: But you also have looking for this perfect person that is going to satisfy every single need that you have.
SPEAKER_00: And that is not the biblical view of marriage, because the biblical view of marriage is two individuals that submit to serve one another and honor the Lord by how they treat one another.
SPEAKER_00: And for the wife, the job that the Lord is given is to submit and to serve her husband, who has been given headship over that house, meaning he is responsible for that house.
SPEAKER_00: God has spoken to how marriage is meant to be, and he specifically designed marriage how he desires it to be for the wives.
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't desire marriage to be self-serving or dismissive of her husband's leadership.
SPEAKER_00: She is meant to be supportive, to serve her husband, and to respect her husband.
SPEAKER_00: But this is not meant to be done begrudgingly.
SPEAKER_00: This is meant to be done worshipfully.
SPEAKER_00: That's the second thing that I want you to say.
SPEAKER_00: It is a worshipful submission.
SPEAKER_00: Look back at verse 22.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: You you were to serve the Lord, to serve him faithfully, to serve him with a glad and heart, to sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs as you serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: And so this is an act of worship to the Lord, is how you submit to your husband the same way that all followers of Christ are to submit to one another.
SPEAKER_00: Wives submit to their husbands because they want to glorify Christ.
SPEAKER_00: One commentator I read this week says, the godly wife sees this duty as part of her Christian discipleship.
SPEAKER_00: The motive is not to fulfill some societal role or cultural expectation.
SPEAKER_00: The motive is love for Christ and desire to be conformed into his image.
SPEAKER_00: The Christian wife who submits to her husband is allowing the Holy Spirit to conform her into the image of Christ and to be who God has called her to be.
SPEAKER_00: What God has called her to be.
SPEAKER_00: This is the role that God has given the wife.
SPEAKER_00: This is to be done worshipfully because this there is great gain in serving the Lord in this way because he's making you more like Jesus and depicting you more of who Jesus is in the way that you serve.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Timothy chapter 6, verse 6 says, Godliness with contentment is great gain.
SPEAKER_00: As you go into your family to serve, maybe you're in here and you're engaged, maybe you're in here and you're just married, maybe you're in here and you're about 20 years in.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're in here and you're about 50 years in.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're in here and you're single.
SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, the goal of marriage is not to find somebody that will meet all of my needs and satisfy my heart because, spoiler alert, that ain't gonna happen.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but but it is to worship the Lord alongside of one another, who He has made you compatible with, He's He's given you a desire to love and to be with, to serve Him by being a servant within your home with contentment.
SPEAKER_00: The wife is satisfied with what God has called her to do.
SPEAKER_00: Next week I'll say it in reverse.
SPEAKER_00: The husband is satisfied in what God has called him to do.
SPEAKER_00: Let me speak to both parties for a second while still focusing on wives.
SPEAKER_00: This worshipful submission is not based on feelings.
SPEAKER_00: Can I get an amen?
SPEAKER_00: Because there are some days in marriage where you don't really feel like being Jesus to your family, men.
SPEAKER_00: And there's some days in marriage wives where you don't feel like submitting to him like you do the Lord because I don't feel like he's earned it.
SPEAKER_00: Praise the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: His faithfulness to us on the cross did not come with feelings.
SPEAKER_00: Because if so, about two with two minutes into his ministry, he would have peaced out.
SPEAKER_00: But what did the Lord say he had on those that were that he saw as he went throughout these villages?
SPEAKER_00: That he had compassion on them.
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't based on feelings, it was based on what God had called them to do.
SPEAKER_00: That you serving your husband and having that role within your marriage is worshipful, and the worship of the Lord is not based on your feelings, it's based on what he's called you to do.
SPEAKER_00: We don't think of this.
SPEAKER_00: You serve the Lord in your individual life, not just when you feel like it, but every day because that's what he's called you to do.
SPEAKER_00: To love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
SPEAKER_00: That's a daily task, that's a daily sacrifice to do those things.
SPEAKER_00: It's serving him daily.
SPEAKER_00: And this is what we do.
SPEAKER_00: We serve in marriage not based on our feelings because your heart is deceitfully wicked.
SPEAKER_00: There are moments while you'll be frustrated.
SPEAKER_00: There are moments when your spouse will not talk to you the way that they would talk to Jesus, and they would talk to you the way Jesus wouldn't talk to you.
SPEAKER_00: You're still supposed to serve and submit because that's what God has called you to do.
SPEAKER_00: And his calling supersedes your feelings.
SPEAKER_00: Our serving the Lord is not contingent upon how others serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Our serving of the Lord is not contingent upon if your neighbor, I'll only serve the Lord in this way because that's how much my neighbor does.
SPEAKER_00: That doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_00: Waiting to honor the Lord in your marriage for your spouse to make the first move is not what you've been called to do.
SPEAKER_00: You've been called to serve one another as you would to Christ and as Christ would to them, regardless of how you feel.
SPEAKER_00: But also regardless of the situation that you find yourself in.
SPEAKER_00: Serving and respecting your husband is not based on the season of life you're in now.
SPEAKER_00: Whether you have kids or not.
SPEAKER_00: Side note, your husband comes first.
SPEAKER_00: Here's how the hierarchy goes husband first, kids second.
SPEAKER_00: If your husband needs you, kids, I love you.
SPEAKER_00: Hang on.
SPEAKER_00: I need to go talk to my wife.
SPEAKER_00: I need to go talk talk to my husband.
SPEAKER_00: Whether you have kids or not, there's still supposed to be a serving of one another.
SPEAKER_00: Is that hard?
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00: Because are you tired?
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'll go ahead and answer for you.
SPEAKER_00: You're tired.
SPEAKER_00: But God's desires for marriage is even in the situations we find ourselves in life, that situations then don't dictate our service to Him.
SPEAKER_00: And situations don't dictate how we serve our spouses, whether life is how you want it to be or not.
SPEAKER_00: Your husband doesn't have the right job, or he doesn't, he didn't buy you the right house, or it's not the right income that you want, you're not driving the right car that you want.
SPEAKER_00: His job is not to meet every single need that you have or request like a genie.
SPEAKER_00: His job is to be like Jesus to you and to serve you as best he can in whatever situation you find yourself in.
SPEAKER_00: And he is worthy of your submission and respect, even if the situation is not exactly how you want it to be.
SPEAKER_00: Because God calls us to the same things.
SPEAKER_00: Your season of life might be hard right now, your season of life might be difficult.
SPEAKER_00: You don't know what you're gonna do, how you're gonna walk through these things, but that doesn't mean that you don't have to serve the Lord while you walk through those things.
SPEAKER_00: That's not what we are to proclaim.
SPEAKER_00: Remember, marriage proclaims to the Lord someone who loves the Lord and who someone who loves like the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: If seasons dictate how you talk about your husband when he's not around, then what are you showing those that are around you about someone who serves the Lord?
SPEAKER_00: A fair weather servant who only likes to serve the Lord when he does everything that they want them to do.
SPEAKER_00: But the moment that he takes them to where they don't want to go, they just throw in the towel and say, Man, forget this.
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe he's doing this to me.
SPEAKER_00: Your marriage displays to the world who the Lord is.
SPEAKER_00: It's not based on expectations.
SPEAKER_00: Here's another thing, too.
SPEAKER_00: If you didn't take premarital counseling or you are getting married and you aren't going to take premarital counseling, do it.
SPEAKER_00: Because one of the things that you'll learn in premarital counseling is not to have unsaid expectations.
SPEAKER_00: Because one of the biggest fights that you will have in marriage is unspoken expectations that are not being met.
SPEAKER_00: And serving your husband is not contingent upon if he's meeting your expectations or or not.
SPEAKER_00: Again, I uh talked about this list that we have.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, when I was in college ministry, I would hear all the time about these lists that these females had, and it was their red flag list.
SPEAKER_00: And it was if if he is any of these things, then then I'm I'm not doing anything with it.
SPEAKER_00: If he's not at least six foot, if he doesn't have a good job like this, if he doesn't uh have blonde eyes and blue or blue hair, blonde eyes, that one, I'm I'm dyslexic, okay?
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, if he if he doesn't meet these things, then he's not husband material.
SPEAKER_00: What you are professing to the world is that you know nothing of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Because marriage doesn't serve you.
SPEAKER_00: In marriage, you are volunteering to say, I will serve someone else.
SPEAKER_00: I will submit to love this person, to where his needs or her needs will supersede mine, and his desires or her desires will supersede mine.
SPEAKER_00: Now, also, really quick, this is not a service where it is completely just wherever, whatever he says I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_00: If the husband leads you into sin, number one, he's not acting like Jesus, but number two, your your job is to serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: If serving the Lord then conflicts with how you serve your spouse because your spouse wants you to do something that's not serving of the Lord, we have a problem, we need to sit down and talk about that.
SPEAKER_00: We're not talking about this right now.
SPEAKER_00: What we're talking about is is serving the Lord, regardless of if there's something in me towards like, well, I thought he was going to be like this when I wanted to marry him, but he's not anymore.
SPEAKER_00: The other thing that Keller will go through in this book is that, you know, we have this myth of the one.
SPEAKER_00: And as long, and when you find that person that's the one, that's when you know you're supposed to marry.
SPEAKER_00: And most married people will know you're on your third or fourth spouse, even though you're married to the same one because they changed.
SPEAKER_00: Personalities change, dispositions change, interests change, not with you.
SPEAKER_00: But like when you married him, maybe he wasn't really into, you know, he was more into working hard and stuff like that, and maybe he's transitioned into something else, but but they they change.
SPEAKER_00: You're not saying I do to your expectations being met.
SPEAKER_00: You're saying I do to laying down those expectations.
SPEAKER_00: You go, I just want to serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: What are the expectations you should have of a godly husband?
SPEAKER_00: Um, that he is filled with the Holy Spirit and desires to serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Whatever his hair color is, however tall he is, that doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00: Does he love the Lord?
SPEAKER_00: Is he spirit-filled?
SPEAKER_00: Does he desire to honor the Lord with his life?
SPEAKER_00: That's your green flag list.
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's a really good quality to have.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage becomes an idol when you desire your husband or your wife to meet every expectation or desire that you have.
SPEAKER_00: And what we hate about idols is when they don't live up to those expectations and we quickly toss them aside into someone else.
SPEAKER_00: That is not how marriage is meant to be viewed.
SPEAKER_00: What a beautiful thing it is to see an example of a godly marriage.
SPEAKER_00: What a beautiful thing it is to see an example of a godly wife, because again, as we've said, they are a model of how one is to serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: This is your last part I want you to see.
SPEAKER_00: This is the emphasis.
SPEAKER_00: You wives in the room, look at me really quick without daggers in your eyes.
SPEAKER_00: Look at me really quick.
SPEAKER_00: You are a model to your family, to your husband, and to the world around you of a life that lives to please the Lord through how you serve in your home.
SPEAKER_00: That is the job that God has given you, to be a light to the world, to show what it is like to live a life that submits to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: That's your job.
SPEAKER_00: That's an important job.
SPEAKER_00: That is a vital job.
SPEAKER_00: That is an equal job that you have alongside of your husband.
SPEAKER_00: Your role is to show the world what a life submitted to Christ looks like.
SPEAKER_00: And the first people to see that is your husband and your kids.
SPEAKER_00: A wife that submits to her husband displays to her husband, her children, and the world what a life that submits to the Lord should look like.
SPEAKER_00: What a responsibility the Lord has given wives.
SPEAKER_00: What a great calling of the Lord that that He would see you as someone that is worthy to give examples to others of how we follow Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Turn really quick with me to First Peter chapter 3.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Peter chapter 3, Peter talks to this as well.
SPEAKER_00: We see this teaching in 1 Peter 3.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 1.
SPEAKER_00: Wives likewise be, or likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands, so that even if someone does do some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives.
SPEAKER_00: Let's stop right there.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, is your husband not spiritually leading your home like you desire him to do?
SPEAKER_00: Don't belittle him, don't undermine him.
SPEAKER_00: Love him and show them the ex his the example of someone who loves to serve the Lord and loves the Lord and watch what happens, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives.
SPEAKER_00: Food for thought.
SPEAKER_00: When they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and putting on gold jewelry and/or your clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
SPEAKER_00: For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and let you who are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
SPEAKER_00: Really quick, husbands, don't get any ideas.
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't have to call you Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Just because Sarah did to Abraham doesn't mean she has to do to you.
SPEAKER_00: What Paul is saying here is look at the examples that we have in Scripture of those whose conduct spoke volumes.
SPEAKER_00: Modeling submission in a marriage models how the church submits to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And modeling submission to your husband within the home shows your family how they are to submit to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you this question as a spouse, which should give us a baseline of where we need to start.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, do you treat your husbands the same way that you would treat Jesus?
SPEAKER_00: Because as you submit to the Lord and as you serve him, as you seek to honor him, as you talk respectfully to him, as you put him in the place of authority that God has put them, put him over the church.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says in the as you do that to the Lord, this is how you serve your husband.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 33 of chapter 5 of Ephesians.
SPEAKER_00: However, leach e let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
SPEAKER_00: That word respect is actually better translated to fear, and it's not fear in a physical sense.
SPEAKER_00: It's fear like an awe, the same way we fear the Lord, or an all of the Lord is the same way.
SPEAKER_00: Why did Paul use this term?
SPEAKER_00: One commentator wrestles with this and he says, I'm not sure, but one reason surely is that the husband will give an account to God for his leading of the family, and both should stand in awe of that as that assignment.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, that should scare you, that you will stand before the Lord and give account of how your family is led.
SPEAKER_00: You are responsible for that.
SPEAKER_00: He has personally given that to you.
SPEAKER_00: And in that moment, in that day, don't you can't be like Adam and go, well, the woman tricked me.
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00: The responsibility is gonna be given to you.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna give an account.
SPEAKER_00: Whether your wife is super active and you're absent, or whether you're trying to do all of these things, you will give an account to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, your husband will give that account, not you.
SPEAKER_00: That day is not gonna be fun for the husbands in this room because all of us are sinners, all of us will fall short.
SPEAKER_00: We will be one that takes the brunt of rebuke of how we let our families.
SPEAKER_00: As a wife, you should not want that position, number one.
SPEAKER_00: Number two, you should look at your husband and go, I do not envy that position that you have.
SPEAKER_00: When you fall short as a wife, who will give an account?
SPEAKER_00: You, yes, but also your husband.
SPEAKER_00: When your husband falls short within his home, he'll give double account.
SPEAKER_00: This is what God has assigned to the husband.
SPEAKER_00: There should be a respect for the responsibility the husband has and a respect for him, to love him, to pray for him, to empower him.
SPEAKER_00: This is what you are called to do as a spouse.
SPEAKER_00: A wife is to use her resources to empower.
SPEAKER_00: She is to be her husband's most trusted friend and counselor as he is hers.
SPEAKER_00: What a beautiful and difficult task wives have within marriage.
SPEAKER_00: So if you're single in this room, wanting to be married, if you're married in this room, you might be sitting going, then how do I become a wife that worships the Lord and models for my family a life that submits to Christ?
SPEAKER_00: Paul already addressed this in the chapter before.
SPEAKER_00: Be spirit-filled.
SPEAKER_00: Allow the spirit to move and fill you in every single capacity, including in your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: That should bring a humility to where when conviction comes, it's not to deflect, to go, well, I would do this better if he would do this.
SPEAKER_00: A spirit filled person says, if it is me that needs to change, then God, change me.
SPEAKER_00: If it is me that needs to submit to you more than God, break me.
SPEAKER_00: If I have error.
SPEAKER_00: Where I need to grow, God move in my heart.
SPEAKER_00: Submit to the work of the Holy Spirit in your life and allow him to transform you, to shine a light on those dark places that you try to hide from the world and you try to hide from others.
SPEAKER_00: Allow him to shine that light to bring you to a humble place where you can not only submit to one another and as out of reverence to Christ, like verse 21 says, but you can also do what verse 22 says.
SPEAKER_00: A spirit-filled wife is exactly what a husband needs.
SPEAKER_00: The last thing I want you to take away from this morning your husband needs a spirit-filled wife.
SPEAKER_00: Your desire should be to be a spirit-filled wife.
SPEAKER_00: A wife that delights in the Lord and delights to serve the Lord in every capacity that He has put you in, including within marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Now you might be sitting here and saying, What if my husband doesn't treat me like Jesus?
SPEAKER_00: What if this isn't reciprocated?
SPEAKER_00: Pray for God to give you strength.
SPEAKER_00: Honor the Lord and how you serve.
SPEAKER_00: Again, this is not an all-encompassing service.
SPEAKER_00: If your husband is leading you into sin, hey, let's cheat on our taxes this year, we get more money back.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, if we embezzle this money from over here, we can use it for here.
SPEAKER_00: You don't follow him into that.
SPEAKER_00: But if your husband is faithfully trying to honor the Lord and serve the Lord as he serves you, though he is a sinner that will slip up, your desire should be to still honor the Lord and how you serve your husband.
SPEAKER_00: Seek the Lord in prayer, more, learn more about him and his word, and allow the Lord to convict your heart and to humble you.
SPEAKER_00: Have a heart that says, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 20.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're single in this room.
SPEAKER_00: You're like, okay, so what do I do?
SPEAKER_00: What do I do with this now?
SPEAKER_00: Be spirit-filled.
SPEAKER_00: Like, like, be spirit-filled.
SPEAKER_00: Seek to follow the Lord, seek to allow him to work in your life, to prepare you for marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Because there's no such thing as married people problems.
SPEAKER_00: There's single people problems that we bring into marriage.
SPEAKER_00: So if we can work on those single people problems in this state and and take the eyes off of my desires and what I want and put them on what the Lord wants for me and what he desires for me, then as I go into that role, I can go into it spirit-filled, going, This isn't about me, this is about serving the Lord and however he's called me to serve.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're an older woman in this room.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're you're a widow.
SPEAKER_00: Python tells us in chapter two.
SPEAKER_00: He calls older women, older men to train up young men, but he calls the older women to train up younger women.
SPEAKER_00: He says, starting in verse 3, older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.
SPEAKER_00: They're to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure.
SPEAKER_00: Serving my husband is hard in and out of seasons.
SPEAKER_00: We had Marilyn Logis' funeral in here the other day, and I was talking to somebody after the funeral, and they said one of the greatest impacts that Marilyn Logis had on my life is she taught me how to love my husband, even when she lost her husband.
SPEAKER_00: This is what we were to do, to continue to disciple, to train up to be about serving the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're married in this room and you're sitting there going, so how do I do this?
SPEAKER_00: What do I do?
SPEAKER_00: Allow the Spirit to permeate through you and serve the Lord and how you serve your husband.
SPEAKER_00: You were created by God to be equal with your husband as far as uh as far as value, to be a helpmate.
SPEAKER_00: Encourage him when he falls short and celebrate his victories, be an example to someone else of how you serve the Lord with your life and how you serve your husband.
SPEAKER_00: This is a hard teaching.
SPEAKER_00: It's hard to preach.
SPEAKER_00: I've gone over because I I want to try to make it abundantly clear how we view this because this is such a prominent attack of the enemy currently in our generation now, is to undermine the home.
SPEAKER_00: But what he's actually doing is he's undermining the proclamation of the gospel through marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Don't allow him to do that in your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Don't allow the devil a foothold into how you share the love of Christ with those around you through your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: If you're a wife in this room, know that I have prayed for you all all week.
SPEAKER_00: If you're a husband in this room, know that I've prayed for you all week, and I'll be praying for you this next week because we're gonna have fun.
SPEAKER_00: My desire is that you would see how God has designed you and the roles that He's given you so that you can live your life to His honor and glory.
SPEAKER_00: And my desire is that is what your desire is as well.
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.