SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: If you have a Bible, go ahead and grab it.
SPEAKER_00: Turn to Ephesians chapter 5.
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5 is where we will continue this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Last week we looked at what a spirit-filled wife looks like, what a spirit-filled wife is called to look like.
SPEAKER_00: This week we will look at what a spirit-filled husband looks like.
SPEAKER_00: As we see that all are called to be spirit-filled who are in Christ Jesus, and all are called to serve one another, who are spirit serve one another within the church.
SPEAKER_00: As someone who is spirit-filled, we also see in our different stages of life how we are called to submit and serve one another and how that looks within the home.
SPEAKER_00: So we will look at the husband this morning.
SPEAKER_00: If you're able and willing, would you stand with me in honor of reading God's word?
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5.
SPEAKER_00: We're going to start in verse 25, and we will read all the way to verse 33.
SPEAKER_00: This is the word of the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
SPEAKER_00: In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
SPEAKER_00: He who loves his wife loves himself.
SPEAKER_00: For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
SPEAKER_00: This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
SPEAKER_00: However, let each of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
SPEAKER_00: May God add his blessings to the reading of his word.
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
SPEAKER_00: Father, we come before you this morning, and God, I pray that we in here this morning would see your word as good, and that God, we would seek to honor you through how we are obedient to the instruction that your word gives, Father.
SPEAKER_00: As I've prayed throughout the week, I prayed for every husband in this room or those desiring to be husbands, God, that you would show them what their role and responsibility is within a marriage and how vital it is.
SPEAKER_00: How necessary it is to not only the spiritual growth of his wife, but to the proclamation of the gospel within his home and to the world around him.
SPEAKER_00: Father, I pray that you would give all of us in here ears to hear and eyes to see from your word this morning.
SPEAKER_00: And I pray, God, that you would give me the words to say.
SPEAKER_00: Spirit, we pray that you would move among us this morning.
SPEAKER_00: We pray that we would allow you to permeate every area of our life, including our roles as spouses and as followers of Christ.
SPEAKER_00: We pray this all in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: You may be seated.
SPEAKER_00: As I said last week, if you remember at the end of chapter, or at the verse 21 of chapter 5 says that um those who are spirit-filled, which is what we are called to be, in verse 18 of chapter 5, verse 21 says, Those of us who are spirit, those who are spirit-filled uh submits to one another out of reverence for Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Philippians chapter 2, verses 1 through 5 says, So if there's any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves.
SPEAKER_00: Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interests of others.
SPEAKER_00: Have this mind among yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Every follower of Christ is to, through being spirit-filled and being humble, serve one another.
SPEAKER_00: And that works its way all the way into marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And what I said last week is this mystery that Paul is talking about about marriage, is that marriage is supposed to be a parable or depiction of Christ's love for his church, his body, his people, and vice versa, the people's love for Christ.
SPEAKER_00: That's what marriage is meant to be for.
SPEAKER_00: That's what marriage is.
SPEAKER_00: That's why, if you wonder why us as followers of Christ should be so passionate about the institution of marriage being for a man and a woman, it is because through a husband loving his wife and a wife loving her husband, that is how the gospel is proclaimed within our families.
SPEAKER_00: Can I get an amen?
SPEAKER_00: Okay, good.
SPEAKER_00: We're on the same page because this is significant.
SPEAKER_00: That's why the institution of marriage is so fundamental to our understanding of the God of the Bible, our understanding of scripture, why he has designed his creation the way he has designed it, and all of it is meant to point back to him.
SPEAKER_00: That is exactly what your marriage is to be.
SPEAKER_00: And husbands, I said last week that your day was coming, and your day's today.
SPEAKER_00: Bill just said that so he gets points.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's but it's true.
SPEAKER_00: Uh our role and responsibility within the homes is to be an example of Christ Jesus to your wife, not just an example, to be an embodiment of Christ Jesus to the point to where if your wife needs a reference of what Jesus would be like, even in a broken, sinful state like you and I, she would need to look no further than her husband.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if I were to ask your spouse this morning, is your husband the closest depiction of Jesus that you have in this life?
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, what would her answer be?
SPEAKER_00: Now, even me staying saying that statement is convicting for me because I'm the one that knows how I have spoken to my wife, how I have treated my wife, the same as you.
SPEAKER_00: And you would probably feel like Paul tells us in 2 Timothy that he is the chief of sinners, especially when it simply relates to you, you being like Christ to your wife and in your home.
SPEAKER_00: But that is what you are called to do.
SPEAKER_00: That is the responsibility that you have been given.
SPEAKER_00: That is what you will be accountable for within your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: You'll not only be accountable for the discipleship within the home, you'll not only be accountable for the worship of God within your home, you will be accountable for how you have loved your wife as a representation of Christ to her.
SPEAKER_00: The week of my wedding, I got a lot of advice.
SPEAKER_00: Most of it was unsolicited, some of it was unneeded.
SPEAKER_00: I just didn't need to have that conversation with you, brother.
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you feeling obligated, but I'm I'm good.
SPEAKER_00: Only one person in all those conversations I had told me that that my role within the marriage would be to love my wife like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: But even in that, the details of that will were left out because it is such a massive task that comes with so many implications.
SPEAKER_00: But it is the main point of this passage in verses 25 through 33, is that husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
SPEAKER_00: It's your main idea for today.
SPEAKER_00: This is our calling, husbands, or those that desire to be husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you remember what I said last week, Paul said, wives, you are to love your husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, you are to love your wives.
SPEAKER_00: So let's figure this out first.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, you are to be like Jesus, not only in how you live, but most importantly, the main person that you should be like Jesus to is your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Nobody else.
SPEAKER_00: Now I say that because unfortunately, us as men feel like we have to be a husband to all the other women in our lives.
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00: Who you are called to be a husband to is your wife.
SPEAKER_00: Who you are called to serve is your wife, who are called to be like Jesus to is your wife.
SPEAKER_00: This is the call that we have.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, verse 25, and gave himself up for her.
SPEAKER_00: You and I are called to reflect Jesus and how we love our wives.
SPEAKER_00: If the wife's standard in marriage is the very high standard of loving for and submitting to Christ, to Jesus Christ, the man's standard is to be even higher.
SPEAKER_00: He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
SPEAKER_00: This is a display of the gospel within our marriages.
SPEAKER_00: And this morning, the husband, as we will see, are to be a picture of Jesus to your wife.
SPEAKER_00: Let me, I keep saying that over and over again because husbands, that is your job.
SPEAKER_00: That is not a responsibility to delegate or outsource.
SPEAKER_00: Your wife must see Jesus in how you treat her, and you should be the clearest depiction, as faulty as you are, of Jesus to your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Nobody else, not even her own father, should look more like Jesus to your wife than you do.
SPEAKER_00: You are called to look like Jesus to your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Do not outsource that responsibility.
SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, again, as I like I said last week with wives, husbands are not to go into marriage thinking that marriage is all about your happiness.
SPEAKER_00: The first thing that Paul says about loving your spouse like Jesus is to love the Christ, Jesus, love your spouse like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for.
SPEAKER_00: So let's look at the first depiction of that love.
SPEAKER_00: It is a sacrificial love.
SPEAKER_00: This is how God designed it.
SPEAKER_00: It is a sacrificial love.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, marriage is not about you marrying a trophy wife, living like you're single, and only worrying about the one responsibility that you have, which is maybe taking out the trash.
SPEAKER_00: It is to sacrificially serve your wife in the same way that Christ Jesus served the church, in the main way that he served the church is he gave himself up for her.
SPEAKER_00: We said last week to love someone is to give of yourself to them.
SPEAKER_00: To sacrificially love your spouse is not only to give of yourself to your wife, but submit to her needs above your own.
SPEAKER_00: This is the sinner of the gospel that Christ gave himself up for us, that Christ came, lived a sinless life, and died on the cross so that you and I might have new life and the salvation that he offers to us by his blood.
SPEAKER_00: This is the gospel that Christ came, lived, died, gave of himself so that you and I could have new life.
SPEAKER_00: And so when it comes to serving our spouse, we are to also give of ourselves to our spouse.
SPEAKER_00: And just like Jesus, we are to do this despite and in light even of her own sin, even of her own unworthiness.
SPEAKER_00: Because in the same way, even with our sin, what does the Bible tell us in Romans chapter 5?
SPEAKER_00: In this is love.
SPEAKER_00: That even while we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly.
SPEAKER_00: Your sacrificial love and service to your wife is not performance based.
SPEAKER_00: It is not, well, as long as she does these things, and remember, this is the tendency for both spouses.
SPEAKER_00: I'll only submit to serve my husband as long as he looks like this.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, I'll only submit to sacrificially love my wife as long as she only she does this and speaks to me this way and doesn't do these things, but that's not the gospel.
SPEAKER_00: The gospel is that in light of your sin, Christ came.
SPEAKER_00: And so, even in light of the sin of your spouse, you're still called to honor the Lord by giving yourself up and to love and serve them.
SPEAKER_00: The standard of love within your home is Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Your love for your wife is not based, again, on how she talks to you, on physical intimacy, or any other expectations that you have.
SPEAKER_00: Her performance is not the prerequisite for your sacrificial love.
SPEAKER_00: The love of Christ is your prerequisite.
SPEAKER_00: His love that he has shown you through salvation is all the motivation that you need to then turn around and display and be like Christ Jesus by sacrificially loving your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: This is contrary to how our world views love today.
SPEAKER_00: To love someone, it's not only seen as an emotion, but it also doesn't involve sacrifice.
SPEAKER_00: That's why divorce rates are high.
SPEAKER_00: That's why 50% of marriages and that rate is continuing to grow, because at some point the sacrifice was not enough, wasn't necessary, it was optional.
SPEAKER_00: And so, because of that, it's like, well, I just fell out of love, or I didn't feel like they were meeting my needs, or I didn't feel like all of these things.
SPEAKER_00: Do you get the main basis of that?
SPEAKER_00: It's emotional.
SPEAKER_00: Love is not an emotion, it's an action.
SPEAKER_00: It's it's what we do.
SPEAKER_00: And as we love like Christ Jesus loved the church, men, it is a giving of ourself.
SPEAKER_00: When you don't feel like it, when you're tired, when you're overwhelmed, it is still to sacrificially love your wife.
SPEAKER_00: Relational love, like in marriage, as we see in scripture, is displayed in surrendering your selfish desires and serving the one that you love.
SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing we do in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: When we put on this new self, when we are spirit-filled, we lay aside our old sinful desires and our own selfish ways, and we seek to serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: We seek to honor the Lord, we seek to love the Lord in the same way.
SPEAKER_00: You lay aside your selfish desires and your desire to live life however you want, and you seek to lovingly serve your spouse, to love her.
SPEAKER_00: So you might be sitting here this morning as a man.
SPEAKER_00: How do I sacrificially love my spouse?
SPEAKER_00: How do I do that?
SPEAKER_00: Like what do I do?
SPEAKER_00: To sacrificially love your wives means you must understand how Christ has sacrificially loved you and gave himself up.
SPEAKER_00: He has sacrificially loved you to the point of death on the cross.
SPEAKER_00: What love is this that we see that we might become children of God?
SPEAKER_00: This is the love that we have seen.
SPEAKER_00: So if you want to be a husband that knows how to sacrificially love your wife, then you must be very much well aware and understand the sacrifice and the depth of the love of Christ that he had for you and going to the cross and dying for you.
SPEAKER_00: If he is to be our example, if we are to be an imitator of him, as we saw in the beginning of chapter five, then we must look to that example.
SPEAKER_00: And when I understand what Christ Jesus has done for me in salvation and how he gave himself up for me, I that is an easy, transformative desire then to love like that, especially to my spouse who the Lord has given me.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage is not about how your wife, what your wife can do to make you happy.
SPEAKER_00: As much as maybe that has been the stigma in our culture.
SPEAKER_00: Again, I served in young adult ministry for a few years, and I and it was so interesting to talk to boys, and I'll call them boys.
SPEAKER_00: They thought they were men.
SPEAKER_00: They got out of mom and daddy's house, but they still acted like a boy.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but talk about what they wanted in a spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Hey man, what do you want your spouse to be like?
SPEAKER_00: And it was, oh man, I want to find a girl that treats me good, that that you know lets me go fish and play golf and hang out with the guys, and and then basically just someone, and I would always say so, basically someone that just serves your wants and desires.
SPEAKER_00: Well, not really.
SPEAKER_00: I was like, brother, that's kind of what you're telling me right now.
SPEAKER_00: You you want another mom.
SPEAKER_00: You you you you just want a maybe even a servant to where, like someone that lets you do all the fun stuff that still acts like a single person, but under this covenant of marriage, which you get to have physical intimacy as a bonus.
SPEAKER_00: Husband, some of us still still operate like that.
SPEAKER_00: Like, I just want to go do my own thing.
SPEAKER_00: I just want to, I just want to be able to go over here, and I want to be able to go do these things, and I want to be able to without without what?
SPEAKER_00: Well, without my wife saying anything.
SPEAKER_00: Without having to hear complaints, without but what are we saying in that moment?
SPEAKER_00: That our desires are are are much greater than than the desire than our desire to serve our wives.
SPEAKER_00: And and our our submission and service to our wife is meant to be sacrificially to the point to where our needs come after hers.
SPEAKER_00: To love your wife like Jesus loves the church is to put her needs above yours.
SPEAKER_00: It's saying, before I even think about what I want to go and do, what does my wife need?
SPEAKER_00: What does she want?
SPEAKER_00: Man, your wife's needs come before the deer stand, they come before the tea time, and they come before the couch.
SPEAKER_00: Hate to say it.
SPEAKER_00: To love your wife like Christ is to put your desires aside and say, it isn't about me.
SPEAKER_00: And that's hard.
SPEAKER_00: That's really hard.
SPEAKER_00: And before you start sitting there going, well, then like, what's in it for me?
SPEAKER_00: Because men, I know that's probably what you're thinking now.
SPEAKER_00: So what so I just can't have no no no, hang on.
SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you what this does not mean.
SPEAKER_00: It does not mean that your life is now boring and devoid of hobbies.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, hear that too.
SPEAKER_00: Your husband's life is not to be boring and devoid of hobbies.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that he's not to have any hobbies and his only thing is to serve you.
SPEAKER_00: He should serve you, he should be um about making sure your needs are met.
SPEAKER_00: But as we serve one another, our desire then is for the other to feel like they're being served.
SPEAKER_00: I know my wife is seeking to serve me when she asks if I want to go play golf.
SPEAKER_00: Because I know that that's a surprise to me.
SPEAKER_00: When usually it's like, hey, I'm asking, like, you know, hey, hey, babe, I love you.
SPEAKER_00: Um, can I go play golf, please?
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I tell the time and I tell when and where and all these other things.
SPEAKER_00: Because I I don't want to seem selfish, I want to make sure that.
SPEAKER_00: She served, but I know my wife is serving me when she goes, Hey, do you just want to go play golf?
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm like, Yes.
SPEAKER_00: This serving one another is not meant to be one-sided, and it's not meant to simply be about seeking my own happiness.
SPEAKER_00: But it's saying, rather than seeking my own happiness, I want to at least know if I go do this, is this okay?
SPEAKER_00: Are you okay?
SPEAKER_00: Do you need something from me?
SPEAKER_00: Do you need me?
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes my wife has said no because she said, hey, listen, um, this week has been crazy.
SPEAKER_00: You haven't been home.
SPEAKER_00: I need time with you.
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I say in that moment?
SPEAKER_00: Will I need time to myself?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: I say, you're right.
SPEAKER_00: You do need time with me.
SPEAKER_00: That's not her being selfish, and that's not me being a pushover.
SPEAKER_00: That's hearing the needs of my wife and going, listen, if if that's what you need, then as Christ Jesus, I want to come and I want to I want to serve and I want I want to be about meeting those needs.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, if there's something that your wife needs, don't begrudgingly do it.
SPEAKER_00: Because Jesus didn't begrudgingly serve you.
SPEAKER_00: He served you even to the point of death, even death on a cross.
SPEAKER_00: Do it unto the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Serve her the way that you have been served in Christ Jesus, and watch what happens to your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Watch how that that sacrificial love becomes reciprocated in her.
SPEAKER_00: This also doesn't mean that this is really easy, that you're not going to have hard times.
SPEAKER_00: There will be moments where sacrificially loving your wife is going to be difficult.
SPEAKER_00: Seasons where you're tired, seasons where you're overwhelmed, seasons where you don't know what to do.
SPEAKER_00: This is not a natural decision that you make, but it has to be a daily decision that you ask the Lord for strength for.
SPEAKER_00: If you're going to be like Jesus, men, as we'll talk about here in a second, you have to continually be growing in faith to be made more like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: You can't give away what you don't have.
SPEAKER_00: That is why your time in the Word is necessary.
SPEAKER_00: My children know in the morning, as early as I might wake up, there are some mornings wherever it beats me to it.
SPEAKER_00: My children know that the most important thing in my house at that point is not me dropping everything to go and serve him.
SPEAKER_00: It is to submit myself to the Lord first, so that he can do that work in me, so that I can then go do that work within my family.
SPEAKER_00: If that's not happening and you're going, well, it's just hard to be like Jesus in my home with all these things going on, again, I say the reason it's hard to be like Jesus is because you're not becoming like Jesus in your own personal walk.
SPEAKER_00: And if you're not becoming more like Jesus, you're not going to be good at displaying Jesus within your home.
SPEAKER_00: It is hard work that takes a decisive stance every single decision every single day that I am going to do these things.
SPEAKER_00: I am going to choose to serve my wife and love her like Christ loved the church.
SPEAKER_00: Now, again, most men are probably sitting here, maybe you might be sitting here and saying, Well, then what does that mean for me?
SPEAKER_00: I don't seem like I get anything out of this.
SPEAKER_00: On the contrary, it is for your bitter betterment that you do this.
SPEAKER_00: Really quickly, most men hear this and they don't understand that what what Paul is getting at, what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell us in this moment, is that when we serve our wives like Christ loves the church in that service, she also is being sanctified, which is for your betterment, the same way that Christ Jesus loved the church and gave himself up so that he could present her as in as purified in his splendor.
SPEAKER_00: Look very quickly at verse 26.
SPEAKER_00: That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the words, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
SPEAKER_00: In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
SPEAKER_00: He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
SPEAKER_00: Paul, right there, is quoting Genesis chapter 2, verse 24.
SPEAKER_00: Remember what happens in marriage.
SPEAKER_00: The two come together, they become one flesh.
SPEAKER_00: Now, what is for the betterment of your spouse is also for your betterment.
SPEAKER_00: Wives, as Paul said in 1 Peter chapter 3 last week, if your husband is not being the spiritual leader in your home, you serving him like you serve Christ Jesus and building him up and honoring him should then push him to be that spiritual leader which is better for you.
SPEAKER_00: So you might say that sounds selfish.
SPEAKER_00: Well, then is that not what we've received in the gospel?
SPEAKER_00: Let me think.
SPEAKER_00: Lay aside your sin, put off this new self and all this sinful desire, and or put off the old self, all this sinful desire, and put on the new self that you've received in Christ Jesus and what you've received in Christ Jesus: um peace, love, joy, satisfaction.
SPEAKER_00: You're giving up something to get something even better, and it's the same way in marriage.
SPEAKER_00: I'm serving to serve my spouse to get an even better version of my spouse and how God intended my spouse to be within the home.
SPEAKER_00: Look how beautiful this is.
SPEAKER_00: That's why there's nothing more beautiful than to see a loving wife and a loving husband serving within the home, seeking to, within their roles, honor the Lord because it gives us the best depiction of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And we see two people that are being made more like Jesus as they understand that me and how I serve within my home is meant to be about not only the betterment of my spouse, but to the glory and honor of God.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 26, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, that's that's our responsibility.
SPEAKER_00: Just as Christ Jesus is about the sanctification of his bride, that that she would be without blemish, ready for him when he comes, that the Holy Spirit would continue to work in her and move her.
SPEAKER_00: You are to be about the sanctification of your spouse, as you see on the screen there.
SPEAKER_00: It is a love that aids in her sanctification.
SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility is to aid in her becoming more like Jesus as you're treating her like Jesus, which then leads her to serve you as she's serving Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And look how beautiful a picture marriage is then.
SPEAKER_00: Look how beautiful a picture that we that we have here.
SPEAKER_00: That's why Paul said this mystery that that's been hidden.
SPEAKER_00: This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church, this mystery of marriage, of what it's ultimately supposed to be about.
SPEAKER_00: It's supposed to reflect Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: It's supposed to reflect the gospel.
SPEAKER_00: That is why we don't go into it half-heartingly, half-heartedly.
SPEAKER_00: That's why we don't just fumble our way through marriage or treat it as something that is give or take, you know, can we can either have it or not have it, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00: No, that's why it is sacred because it is meant to display the gospel of Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00: First to each other, then to our children, then to our families, and then outside of the home.
SPEAKER_00: What Paul is saying here will change your view of marriage if you let it.
SPEAKER_00: The husband's purpose of sacrificially loving his wife like Jesus is that in the process of being like Jesus to her, that she becomes like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And then there's nothing more beneficial nor attractive to a godly husband than a wife who is actively walking in sanctification, trying to be like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: But, husbands, that starts with you.
SPEAKER_00: Your wife's personal walk with Jesus is partly your responsibility.
SPEAKER_00: Now, hear me in this.
SPEAKER_00: Your wife still has her own decisions that she makes.
SPEAKER_00: Her sanctification should not be let go of without a fight from you.
SPEAKER_00: To encourage her to continue to walk like Jesus, to encourage her to be in the word, to read the word.
SPEAKER_00: This is your call.
SPEAKER_00: This is what you are are a part of in your household.
SPEAKER_00: Do not outsource that part of your responsibility within the home to your wife.
SPEAKER_00: We'll see next week.
SPEAKER_00: You're a part of her, you're a part of her sanctification, and you're you're a part of how your household runs.
SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, what we've done today is we've taken both of those things and we have outsourced it to other people, we've outsourced it to other uh, you know, women's devotionals, we've outsourced this to other people outside of the church.
SPEAKER_00: And and then we look at our families and we wonder what's what's happened.
SPEAKER_00: It's because they went down without a fight from you.
SPEAKER_00: That's your role, that's your calling, that's what God's called you to do.
SPEAKER_00: That's the responsibility He's given you, and that should not come lightly, and it should not be a haphazard, haphazardous work.
SPEAKER_00: It is intentional.
SPEAKER_00: It is how we are to be as husbands.
SPEAKER_00: A spouse that desires to be more like Jesus will display Christ's love, grace, mercy, and joy to those around them.
SPEAKER_00: And their spouse should be the first recipient of this spirit-filled new self.
SPEAKER_00: Really quick, third thing I want you to see.
SPEAKER_00: It is a love that reflects the characteristics of Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: I've already said that, but but uh let's be very clear.
SPEAKER_00: It's a love that reflects the characteristics of Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the temptation if you husbands are not in the word, or you wives are not in the word.
SPEAKER_00: You will be looking for a caricature of Jesus without truly looking for the character of Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_00: Do you get what I'm trying to say?
SPEAKER_00: Here's what I'm trying to say.
SPEAKER_00: If you're not reading the word, then you'll have an idea of how Jesus is supposed to love, but you won't really know how Jesus loves.
SPEAKER_00: You'll have a caricature of it, one that's that's has a little bit of hyperbole with it.
SPEAKER_00: Here's an example.
SPEAKER_00: Most people in our world today say that Jesus is love and he's non-confrontational.
SPEAKER_00: That person has never read the gospels.
SPEAKER_00: Does Jesus look at the woman who's caught in adultery and say, hey, listen, don't listen to those big bad Pharisees.
SPEAKER_00: Just go on living how you're living now.
SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: He tells her to get up and do what?
SPEAKER_00: Go and sin no more.
SPEAKER_00: Do you think the dinner party that Jesus had with Matthew and the other tax collectors was just like, hey guys, you're making money, I get it.
SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
SPEAKER_00: No, it probably went a little bit like Zacchaeus, where at the end of it, Zacchaeus goes, uh, I'm giving it all back, and I'm gonna give even more so back.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, when we're called to be about the sanctification of our wives, we have to have those hard conversations as much as she scares you.
SPEAKER_00: To lovingly go and say, babe, here's what I see.
SPEAKER_00: You you talking this openly about this, you you you speaking this way, it is not God honoring, and it looks nothing like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: We need to work on that.
SPEAKER_00: That is your responsibility to have with your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to present her to the Lord as one that you have sought to present to him as holy, to be about her sanctification.
SPEAKER_00: Those conversations are you to lovingly and gently have with your spouse, wives in the room.
SPEAKER_00: You got to be able to let him lovingly and gently come to you.
SPEAKER_00: Because if he's to be about your sanctification, you know what that shows you?
SPEAKER_00: He's taking what the Lord told him to do seriously.
SPEAKER_00: He's not coming to point out your faults or for you to get defensive.
SPEAKER_00: He's coming to say, I see this.
SPEAKER_00: This is not what we see in Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And as I am seeking to become more like Jesus, we both need to be seeking to become more like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: This is what God has called us to do.
SPEAKER_00: This is how we are to love as Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus did not condone sin.
SPEAKER_00: He didn't just let it slide.
SPEAKER_00: He didn't say, Well, I don't know how to broach the conversation, so you know what?
SPEAKER_00: Let's just that we all have our vices.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: You will be held accountable and will stand before the Lord for the spiritual life of your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: How you lead within the home matters.
SPEAKER_00: How you love her within the home matters.
SPEAKER_00: And as you seek to become more like Jesus and to serve her, you know what happens when she sees you come lovingly and gently to her with something like this, she's gonna know he's just trying to be like Jesus, not he's just trying to cover up for his own faults.
SPEAKER_00: I think this is one of the most crucial areas in marriage that that that man, we we've we've really kind of let some guards come up and go, don't let anybody tell you about yours.
SPEAKER_00: Only God can judge you.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that's the point.
SPEAKER_00: That's the problem.
SPEAKER_00: And his judgment is much worse than any conversation you could have with your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Your desire is to be more like Jesus, then your desire should be to love your wife like Jesus and to see her become more like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And there is no greater desire for a husband than that.
SPEAKER_00: So he's to be about that that work within her.
SPEAKER_00: Here's another caricature that I have really quick, we'll move on.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus is not about your own personal happiness, and neither neither should your your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Let me let me let me rephrase that.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, you should seek to make your wives happy.
SPEAKER_00: You should seek to serve her, seek to love her, seek to to meet those needs.
SPEAKER_00: You should seek to make her happy.
SPEAKER_00: But your his ultimate purpose is not your happiness, it is to be like Jesus to you.
SPEAKER_00: What your husband should ultimately want for your wife more is for her to find joy in the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: A yes man husband that that that does nothing to serve his wife, or that does nothing to treat his wife truly how Jesus is, but to just give her everything that she wants doesn't actually serve her.
SPEAKER_00: It it actually points her away from Jesus and points to you and say, everything that I need, my husband can give me.
SPEAKER_00: And that's not true.
SPEAKER_00: Husband, your your goal is not for your spouse to be so codependent upon you on everything in their life, because you know what's gonna happen at some point?
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna die.
SPEAKER_00: Hate to break it to you.
SPEAKER_00: As Steve told us in our uh parenting class this pastor, we're all terminal.
SPEAKER_00: Just depends on how much time you got.
SPEAKER_00: What then will she rely on?
SPEAKER_00: You are to teach her to rely on the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: There was a pastor one time that taught his wife this prayer, and she would pray it every day.
SPEAKER_00: She she her prayer was, Lord, you are more sweeter to me than my dear Charlie could ever be.
SPEAKER_00: Her husband's name was Charlie, you get the point.
SPEAKER_00: This is what he taught her every day to to find her joy and satisfaction in the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: To to love the Lord more, because that is exactly what we see in the person of Jesus, who loved God with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all his strength.
SPEAKER_00: This is how how we're to love our spouse and point our spouse to.
SPEAKER_00: The fourth thing, really quick, is that it is a love that displays God's love to the world.
SPEAKER_00: You loving your spouse displays God's love to the world.
SPEAKER_00: How you husbands treat your wife like Jesus will be evident to other husbands, to your children, to your to your friends that you have, to those that are in your neighborhood.
SPEAKER_00: Man, I've never seen him raise his voice at her.
SPEAKER_00: I've never seen him openly belittle her.
SPEAKER_00: I've never seen him dismiss what she said.
SPEAKER_00: I've never seen him just kind of go off and not really care about what she needs.
SPEAKER_00: And he loves her.
SPEAKER_00: Man, that's convicting.
SPEAKER_00: That's hard.
SPEAKER_00: That is our job.
SPEAKER_00: That's what God has called us to do.
SPEAKER_00: This is how Paul can say that husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, and how husbands should seek to present her.
SPEAKER_00: This is what we are called to do.
SPEAKER_00: God desires to be glorified in your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: He deserves it.
SPEAKER_00: Your marriage should be lived out to his glory and honor.
SPEAKER_00: Our kids are taught the gospel and discipled through what we say to them and how what we say and how we treat our spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Men in the room, you have a critical job.
SPEAKER_00: You have been given a helpmate for that job, but but you still have a responsibility that is God given for what you are to be within your home, and you are to be like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Your wife doesn't need a better breadwinner.
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't need uh someone that that is just gonna fuel whatever or fund whatever she wants to do.
SPEAKER_00: As we said last week, I'll say this week in closing: a spirit-filled husband is exactly what a wife needs.
SPEAKER_00: One who is spirit filled, who is humble, who looks to serve, who looks to honor the Lord, who looks to put his sinful desires aside, who looks to bring God honor and glory with how he treats his wife.
SPEAKER_00: And serves his wife.
SPEAKER_00: This is what your wife needs.
SPEAKER_00: This is what God has called you to do.
SPEAKER_00: This is why each and every day you must spend time in the Word.
SPEAKER_00: You have been given a divine calling from God that takes supernatural strength to walk in.
SPEAKER_00: And he gives you that supernatural strength through the indwelling Holy Spirit and through the teaching of his word that he has given to you to teach you about himself.
SPEAKER_00: In his word we learn more about how he loves.
SPEAKER_00: In his word, we learn more about how he is sacrificially given of his life for us.
SPEAKER_00: In his word, we see his gentleness and his kindness.
SPEAKER_00: In his word, we see that he's compassionate and gracious.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, if you want to know what it's like to love like Jesus, read his word, see his example, and follow it.
SPEAKER_00: You can't follow it if you're not in it.
SPEAKER_00: You can't embody it if you if you don't even know the characteristics of it.
SPEAKER_00: Your time in the word is vital.
SPEAKER_00: We're sitting here saying that God's called us to a great task and he has, but he's given you of himself and his strength in order to complete that task.
SPEAKER_00: It is to be your decision daily to walk in it.
SPEAKER_00: To live that task out.
SPEAKER_00: We love work examples, so let me give you this.
SPEAKER_00: What good is an employee who has been given all the tools and the and all the description of the job there to do?
SPEAKER_00: And just goes, well, when I feel like doing it, that's when I'll do it.
SPEAKER_00: We'd sit back and go, that's that's some that's someone's useless.
SPEAKER_00: What do we think God is going to say to us when we stand before Him?
SPEAKER_00: He said, What did you, why did you not do what I asked you to do?
SPEAKER_00: What do we, that was just too hard?
SPEAKER_00: I had too many things, other things going on.
SPEAKER_00: I was just too tired.
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: We'll be accountable for every word that we say, Jesus says.
SPEAKER_00: We'll be accountable for all that we do.
SPEAKER_00: And what will end up lasting and standing before the Lord is your effort in and to be how you were like Jesus to your spouse and how you were like Jesus within your home.
SPEAKER_00: Your 401k will not stand before the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Your retirement strategy will not stand before the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Your business will not stand before the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: But how you worked within your home and how you honored the Lord before your husband or before your wife will.
SPEAKER_00: Number one, seek the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Read the word daily.
SPEAKER_00: Read the word.
SPEAKER_00: Ask the Lord for strength and prayer.
SPEAKER_00: Pray every day before you put your feet to the ground or before you get going, before you do anything.
SPEAKER_00: God, give me the strength to be an example of you, to be like Jesus within this home and with every person I come in contact with, but especially to my wife.
SPEAKER_00: Father, fill me.
SPEAKER_00: Your spirit just permeate through me.
SPEAKER_00: Shine a light on all these dark, selfish areas.
SPEAKER_00: Make me more like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Be intentional with everything that you do within the home.
SPEAKER_00: I say this to myself: do not react, but respond.
SPEAKER_00: Allow the Spirit to give you self-control, which he does, and find the joy within how God designed marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs tells us, he who finds a wife, or Song of Solomon tells us, he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
SPEAKER_00: And he who created marriage has created a good thing for both you and your spouse if you will walk in how He intended it to be.
SPEAKER_00: As we respond to the word of the Lord, let's pray.