How to Attract the Love of Your Life

Ready to call in the relationship you've always wanted? In this episode, Brooke Benevento and Danielle Griffiths pick up where they left off in their dating series and dive into how to truly attract the love of your life — not by chasing, but by becoming.

Brooke introduces her "Boomerang Method" — the idea that your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are constantly being sent out into the world and coming right back to you. She explains how to use this principle to shift your dating reality, from getting clear on what you want to living as if your ideal partner is already part of your life.

Danielle shares the beautiful story of knowing her husband Mark was "the one" since middle school — and how letting go of the pressure to find someone is exactly what opened the door. Both hosts get real about surrendering the outcome while still actively preparing for the relationship you deserve.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Brooke's "Boomerang Method" — how your thoughts and beliefs shape what comes back to you
• Why you must become the person you want to attract
• How to get crystal clear on the qualities that matter most in a partner
• The power of acting "as if" — practical exercises like making two cups of coffee
• Why surrendering the outcome actually accelerates results
• How your subconscious mind can't tell the difference between real and imagined
• Danielle's story of knowing Mark was her person since age 12
• Why authenticity is the ultimate magnet for lasting love
• The importance of self-worth in attracting the right relationship

Resources mentioned:

• "Mind Magic" by a neurosurgeon — the science behind visualization
• Episode 13: Dating, Healing, and Finding the One
• Episodes 1–4: Social heredity foundation series

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: themissingpeace26@gmail.com

Have a topic you want us to cover? Want to be a guest on the show or sponsor an episode? Reach out — we'd love to hear from you!

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who's ready to attract the love of their life!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Sometimes what I'll tell my clients when you're making a cup of coffee, make two cups of coffee and get that feeling of, oh, I'm making this cup of coffee for my partner or for my husband or for my loved one or for my boyfriend or whatever, right? And you're making two cups of coffee. Again, it sounds silly, okay? But what it is, it's the action of doing it and it's the feeling behind it. What would this feel like? Going fantastic, having a great day. Happy to be here. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

I'm doing so good. Like so good. I I love this time of year. I love, you know, 4th of July. I'm a big uh USA Patriot fan. There's so much going on with uh with uh the World Cup. And it's just it's neat to see our nation getting ready to celebrate a birthday. So I'm doing great.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah, yeah, it's exciting times for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

This is episode 14, and we are going to pick up where we left off. Last episode, we were talking about dating, and we we really want to kind of bridge the dating and the marriage. So Brooke is going to share her expertise about. Take it away, Brooke.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

So today we're gonna be talking about how to attract the love of your life. And I'm really excited about this because this does go into a lot of the sort of co-creating that um I coach from and you know, this whole um using sort of your mind and who you are and everything to really attract who you are. So um I'm really excited about this. And um, I have done this. I did this with my husband, um, and Danielle has told me kind of how her and Mark met and the things that went on. And back then we did not know what we were actually doing, um, really just sort of manifesting. Yeah, manifesting, uh uh attracting, kind of calling in um our future husbands back in the day. We didn't we didn't know what that looked like. But now that we um have more information about um attraction and uh mainly like the law of attraction and calling things in and uh really knowing your worth and things like that, we understand now that okay, this is this is possibly what we were playing with when we were doing this. Um and so uh it's interesting when you start to realize that the proof is right in front of you. Um when you start to kind of do the work that you and I have really started to do in our lives and we start to see it um come to fruition into our reality, and we realize, oh my gosh, I've been doing this my whole life and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I just wasn't focusing in the right direction. So um I hope that this is gonna help a lot of uh a lot of people, men and women, to really start to attract the type of person that you want in your life. Uh, I get a lot of clients that come to me and say, I'm in a terrible relationship, or I attract guys like this. Why do I continue to attract guys like this? Why do I, you know, have such a problem finding the love of my life? Are they out there? Dating sucks right now, all these things. And so we really start to use some of these. And I want to um give you some of the these things to start doing. Um, and of course, if you need more help, you're always more than welcome to call on on me and and ask, you know, how else can I do this? So um, so let's kind of jump in. Um, I wanted to go over something that I don't think I've talked about on the podcast yet. And I don't even know if I've even really explained this to Danielle yet, but after I explained it, I think Daniel, yeah, I think Danielle will understand. Um it's something that uh I uh other people call uh what you your thoughts and your beliefs, they call them like boomerangs, right? You throw them out. So I've named this the boomerang method. I I don't know if anyone else calls it this. I just like to say I like to call things methods because it is sort of a method that you use. Um, but the the the the whole basis behind it basically is that when you think of something and you throw it out into the universe, out into the world, you throw a thought, okay, when it's backed with a belief, it gets even stronger. So you throw it out there, and then what happens is it kind of stays out there and then it boomerangs back to you. So everything, all your thoughts and your feelings um are boomeranging out into the world, and then they're coming back to you. Okay, so that's basically how uh a lot of what we teach works. And so dating is kind of the same thing. So kind of start imagining it like that. All right. So um, and we we find that sometimes in a few days you you you will start to see uh your reality really shift be just by changing the thoughts that you're thinking, the words that you're saying. Um what it is is it's it's really just physics, you guys. I mean, we're we're throwing something out in the universe, we're getting it back. Okay, this is just something that um even in science you can read about this, and and it's um the basis of it is really that just a boomerang. Think about it, throwing a boomerang coming straight back to you. Um, okay, so the best way to attract the right partner is like we said in the past episode, was to be the kind to become the kind of person who is ready for the relationship that you want. So I always use this kind of analogy is let's say you're a woman or a man and you want to date a really fit person. You want this guy with this banging body or this girl with this banging body, okay? But you're sitting on the couch eating chocolate chip cookies and lace potato chips every night. Danielle, do you think that the person that you are creating that you are wanting are going to be attracted or wanting to do the same thing that you're doing, eating potato chips and keys on the couch? In that situation. Right, in that situation. Okay, probably not. So um we would say that you are not attracting that same person because that other person is probably in the gym. So if you wanted to meet somebody that like that, that you're thinking, oh, I want someone that has this incredible body or or whatever, it looks like this. Well, you might you have to step into that same sort of environment or thinking or process to attract that same person. Okay. So that's that's one way. So we have to start becoming the person that we want to attract because if not, that person is never going to come into our lives. All right. Yeah. Okay. So first up, get super clear on what you want. Danielle briefly talked about this in the last episode. She was like, okay, well, I dated and I figured out what I didn't want, you know? And so along the way, as you, and I always tell people this, I'm like, listen, uh every time you date somebody, it's telling you more and more about what you like and what you don't like. And I always tell them, keep a list. Yeah, yeah, keep a list. Keep a list. Say, I like that he did this, I like that he did that, right? How did it make me feel when he did this or she did that? Okay. Like you're really looking at the character of somebody. Okay. So really start getting clear on what you want. Write it down. Um, and instead of really always focusing on appearances and status, you know, we want to look more at the qualities that matter most. And that would be integrity, kindness, emotional maturity. Uh, what are your shared values, your faith, your growth mindset, things like that. This is what you're gonna be looking at for somebody, okay, when you're when you're really trying to find the love of your life. Now, also when you are live as though you're sort of preparing for this relationship, uh, you want to start asking yourself things like, Am I emotionally available to have a partner? Okay, this goes back to loving yourself. Do I communicate well? Have I healed from my past relationships? Am I creating a life that someone would want to join? Right. And so, kind of like what Danielle was saying, that we're always, you know, kind of looking at, well, what are you bringing to the table? And it's like, well, what are you bringing to the table? Both people need to be saying, hey, if I want to attract somebody that has the same values and morals that I do, then I have to have integrity and stand in and who I am and and make sure that I'm living that life. I am being that person. I'm not just saying I'm this person, I'm actually being that person and I'm showing up in ways and in environments that shows that I'm actually that person. So I want to kind of kick it back to Danielle real quick. When you were, when you had kind of said, I'm done dating, I'm never getting married, blah, blah, blah. I'm not doing this, you know? And then here comes your now spouse. I think for you, did you was there ever a point when you were like, okay, if I am gonna find a guy, he's gonna look like, he's gonna be like this? Like you knew what you didn't want.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

I I Mark doesn't believe this, but I knew I wanted to marry him when we were in middle school. Like, I know that sounds weird, but um, we first met when we were about 12 years old. And wow, he checked boxes that I didn't even know existed. Um I I mean, I could, I could go on and on about the love of my life, but it it obviously you're not ready to settle down and commit when you are 12 years old. And but I remember thinking like he's the he's the guy type of guy I want to marry. He and I think what really always got me about Mark, and it and it was absolutely true when you know, 10 years later when we actually started dating, is that I didn't have to pretend to be anyone but myself with him. And I had never done that before. I was always trying to um be feminine and you know, not show parts of myself that maybe I wasn't as proud of. And with him, I'm just myself. And I'm sure there's things I I do that bug him. If you're listening, honey, I know you're laughing. Um, but it's it's it's like he he is my person. And I I didn't know that until it actually happened, but he has just such a good energy. He's a phenomenal man. I just I could go on and on about him. But yeah, I think I was manifesting him without realizing it. Um, and in hindsight, I can see that. But at the time, it it felt like the end of the world. I was ready to just, you know, call off dating and focus on my career. I had just graduated from college. I was saving money to move to Los Angeles. And um it it it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks, but I I would not change a thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Yeah, yeah. And that's usually what you hear too, is it hit me like a ton of bricks because two things happened here, and and we'll go into we'll go into like kind of what happened. But one thing I think that you did too when you said, I'm never dating again, you kind of threw off the expectation of everybody else, and you really did just start, you were like, No, you know what, I'm worthy of myself and I'm gonna, I'm gonna be loyal to myself and I'm going to do what I need to do for myself right now, and I'm gonna be confident. And it sounds like you probably got a lot of confidence out of that. And you were just stepping into yourself and saying, Hey, it is what it is, right? Like, if I don't find him, then then that's okay too, right? And so we'll talk about what I'm saying. It takes the pressure off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes the pressure off. And yeah, and so when we are constantly thinking about something that is not there, what does that mean? It's not there. So we're constantly focusing, okay. I don't, it could be a spouse, it could be a relationship, it could be not having children, it could be not having money, right? If we're continuously focus focusing on what's not there, then what's gonna continue to happen? What's the boomerang, the boomerang effect that's gonna happen? You're throwing it, your thought process is throwing it out there that it's not there. All guys are, you know, are are this or that, whatever you want to say, or all women are this or that, and you're throwing that out there. Well, what are you getting back in return? The same thing that you're thinking. Okay. So one thing that I also have, and I know this is gonna sound a little silly when I tell you this, okay? You don't don't think I'm I'm crazy, y'all, but I this is just this is this works, okay? And I I have lots of people that can tell you this works. Okay. So one thing, let's say you want to find the love of your life, and so you have to start acting as if it is already happening. Okay, you have to trick what we say your subconscious mind because everything kind of comes from your subconscious mind. So you have to kind of trick it into thinking that it's already happening. Your subconscious mind doesn't know, it doesn't know if it's real or not, it just is being fed whatever. So sometimes what I'll tell my clients to when you're making a cup of coffee, make two cups of coffee and get that feeling of, oh, I'm making this cup of coffee for my partner or for my husband or for my loved one or for my boyfriend or whatever, right? And you're making two cups of coffee. Again, it sounds silly, okay? But what it is, it's the action of doing it and it's the feeling behind it. What would this feel like? Okay. Um, let's say and something else that we've I have clients practice is if you're inside cleaning your house, what are the odds of what are you, what is your husband going to be doing, Danielle? If you're if you're inside cleaning, what what are they gonna probably be doing outside? They're gonna probably be mowing the lawn, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yard work, right? And so you're going to you're inside cleaning, and while you're inside cleaning, you're going to imagine what it would be like for your husband to be outside cleaning the lawn, right? And maybe this is a lot of imagination. I know this sounds weird, but make a glass, make a glass of water for him, this imaginary husband, and take it outside and maybe sit it down and just sit outside and just feel what it would feel like to see your husband in your imagination, this person taking care of you. How does that feel to have that partnership, that connection? Okay. Um, buy some men's perfume, you know, cologne, spray it around. Yeah, spray it around. What does that what does that feel like when you come in and you smell that? Oh, my husband, right? This, what we're doing here is we're we're stimulating your imagination because, like I said, the subconscious mind does not know. And what the subconscious mind is made for is to hand over what you want to infinite, what some will call infinite intelligence, God, source, uh, whatever it is, you hand it over and you say, Here, this is what I want. But see, God cannot give something to you that you don't think is actually possible or that you don't believe can happen. All right. So what we're doing is we're kind of living in make-believe for a little while. And we're as we're doing this, we're also we're also creating our lives around, hey, this is what this would feel like. This is my, this is kind of how I would feel if I had the love of my life. Now, something else that you did, and this is gonna be kind of you're gonna say, well, Brooke, that's kind of saying one thing and then, you know, saying another. At the same time, we are releasing the need for to force the outcome. Okay, so yes, because if we act as if it's not there and we continue to like think of, oh, how is this gonna happen, or how is this gonna happen? We're continuously again saying it's not happening. Okay. So um, if you are acting, if you're acting and thinking as if something is missing, then something is missing. So what you did was this. You said you gave it away. That's what you did. You said, I'm never getting married, forget about it. I'm not even gonna worry about it anymore. It's not even gonna be something that I'm gonna do. Whatever. I'm releasing it. You surrendered it, just like you said, you surrendered it. So the act of wanting something, we have to surrender it, but act as if it's already there. Because if we're acting as if it's not there, we get up every morning, we're like, where's my husband? Where is he at? You know, when he when is he coming? And we're looking and looking and looking, that means that we're looking for something, which means we don't have it. So we have to act as if it's happening at the same time, surrendering the how it's going to happen. Because, like you said, it hits you like a ton of bricks. And that's what it feels like when you are not actively looking for something, you are just being that something. So that is really now, Danielle. Do you have any questions?

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Because Danielle's like, no, no, I think this is fascinating. And I think, you know, we we could take this in a bunch of different directions. Um, I love what you're saying. I just keep thinking, I I I relate a lot of things to sports. I was an app multi-sport athlete growing up. And, you know, they they talk about the greats, the Michael Jordan's, Kobe Bryant's, and they visualize just like you said, as if it's already happening. And I I'm reading a book called, I think it's called Mind Magic by a neurosurgeon. And he's flat out saying, like, like you said, your your brain, your body doesn't know the difference between something that's real and something that you're seeing. So if you're playing a sport or dating or trying to find a job and you're constantly thinking, don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up, you're thinking about messing up versus I'm gonna get this job, I'm gonna nail this interview. Like, and so it's something so simple, but I'm telling y'all, if you listen to Brooke, um, I I she's changed my life. And and yeah, I everything you're saying is is uh it makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Yeah, yeah. And we can use this with anything, anything. And it that's the same, the equation is the same. It's just really starting to understand how it all works together. And I have had countless people come to me and say, I am done dating. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And it's like, okay, that right there. We have to, first of all, we have to actually sit down and think about what is it actually that we want, you know? And I I know I ask this question all the time to you guys, like, what do you guys want? And and sometimes that can be the hardest question because we've never been asked that question. You know, we're always being told what we want. Well, sit down, write it out. Uh, when I when I feel like things just happen to us.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Sorry, I interject, but like I feel like a lot of people just are waiting for things to happen versus taking the the wheel and saying, I want to go here.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Yeah, yeah. With at the same time also letting letting God take the wheel too and saying, okay, we're going in this direction, right? And I'm surrendering this direction, but I'm gonna think in a forward thinking, I'm not gonna think backwards, I'm gonna think forward thinking. I'm gonna expect, I'm gonna expect to see these things happen. I don't know how they're gonna happen, I don't know when they're gonna happen, but I know they're gonna happen because all I have to do really is just trick my subconscious mind and ha hand it over to infinite intelligence, knowing that I'm worthy. But that's the key, is knowing that you're worthy to have these things. Because if you don't think you're worthy of having it, or you don't think you have the the ability to co-create with with the infiniteness of what we're in, then it's not going it, it's not gonna happen. And if it does happen, it's it's normally by fluke and it won't last because you didn't really think you earned it anyways, or you are you or you, you know, were able to accept something of it's like a gift, right? All the things that we get in life are little tiny gifts from God. That's all they are. It's it's like you ask for it and then and then you get it, and then we complain about it. So, so be very you know, be very particular. Even, you know, you know, you you guys are you guys are dated. There's people out there that have dated, like me. I've gotten married, and yeah, sometimes I've complained about my husband, but guess what? I manifested him. I I I called him in. I I asked God, God, give me a man just like this. I mean, before him and I we found each other, I was just like Danielle. I said, I'm done. I'm done with it. And I wrote out a whole list of a guy that I wanted, and I I was like, if he doesn't have all these things, I'm I'm not even gonna bat an eye. I'm just gonna say nope. And uh, and then here he appeared, like, and he of course was already in he was already in my life, he was right there in front of me. Um, and then all of a sudden it was like, oh, he's interested. And it was like, huh? Like, where did you come from? I didn't even think this wasn't even like um something that could even happen, you know, you and I getting together. And so, and so just know that what you're asking for, you're getting in return. So treat it like a gift because that's really what that's really what all of this is. They're just everything you're getting in your life is a gift that you've ultimately really asked for. Um, so yeah, it's just a really cool experience. Yeah. And I really hope that this helps some people attract the love of their life. Really sit down. And if you're driving and you, you know, you were listening to this, go back, write, write some of this stuff down, um, and and start really implementing some of this into your life. And you're gonna see how you start to attract, you're starting, you're gonna start attracting more people into your life, uh, either whether it be a woman or a man. And then use, you know, then start to like watch them and say, okay, is is that what I want? Okay, if that's not what I want, then that's okay. This I'm practicing. Okay, let me go, you know, okay, just tell them no, thank you. This isn't gonna work out. And, you know, keep keep pretending that you're living um that life with with with your spouse and and the way that you want to live. So it's really a cool, it's really a cool thing to do. And it's actually a lot of fun. It really is. It's a lot of fun. And uh, I keep we keep saying, you know, um, we want you guys to find peace. And this is how you find it. This is really how you find it. Really starting to know what you want and thinking about, okay, I want this and really asking God for it and asking, you know, infiniteness and saying, hey, like I'm worthy of this. I really am, because we all really are worthy of having great relationships and you know, and and and and jobs that we love and and things like that. Like we came here to live a very peaceful, fulfilled life. I truly believe that. I know that um it can be hard to wrap your head around that sometimes, but I really do think that that's why we're here. I really do. I I think that this is this is an experiment, this is an experience and maybe an experiment that it is happening with you know with humans right now. And so really just start um, yeah, start asking for what you want and start um and and knowing that you're worthy, you're worthy of all those things, I think is is where it all begins.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

I would definitely agree. And you know, just to wrap up, I I I I a word that I keep hearing in in this conversation is authenticity. And I I feel like social media, Hollywood, the mainstream media, they make us feel like we have to only show the good things. I mean, that's what social media is about, right? Um, you're showing the highlights, you're showing this ideal life. There is someone out there who will love you exactly how you are, and that doesn't mean that you're not gonna grow and change as an individual. It does. But what what I really value about my relationship is he makes me better. He makes me better. And I can't say that about every every person that I've I've dated. Um, there were some that made me worse. And I'm glad that you know the those relationships ended. But being authentic and just loving yourself and love yourself and love will find you.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Yeah, definitely 100%. All right, y'all. Well, thanks for listening to uh this episode again. If you have um any questions or you want us to talk about um a certain topic, uh send us a message. Uh we also all the information is down below. Uh, we would love for you to like, subscribe, uh, send this to a friend that maybe you uh know that is looking to find the love of their life. Maybe this episode will help them. Uh yeah, and we will see you all next time. Bye. Bye.