What Does Your Algorithm Say About You?

"You are your algorithm. You are the one that has built it." The average American adult spends 2.4 hours a day scrolling — 17 hours a week, nearly 900 hours a year, the equivalent of 37 full days. Danielle Griffiths and Brooke Benevento open with that number and then ask the harder question: if you got those 37 days back, what would you build with them?

Danielle starts with the history — MySpace, Facebook's 2004 launch, and the DARPA program called LifeLog that was shut down the same day. She's careful to say she's not calling it a conspiracy, just that coincidences have gotten less coincidental lately. From there it's the echo chamber we build for ourselves, the Pauline Kael quote about not knowing anyone who voted for Nixon, and why a feed that only reflects you back at you isn't information — it's a mirror.

Both hosts admit they're preaching to the choir. Danielle owns being "way above average" on screen time. Brooke talks about the bra ad that follows her around for five days, the marketing running underneath all of it, and her one non-negotiable for parents: if your child is in the room, put the phone down. They land on producer vs. consumer, the comparison trap, how to actually retrain your feed, and the question that stuck with both of them — if your screen time report were your bank statement, would you call it a good investment?

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The math on 2.4 hours a day — and what 37 reclaimed days a year could actually become
• LifeLog, DARPA, and February 4, 2004 — the story Danielle can't quite call a coincidence
• Pauline Kael, Nixon, and the self-created echo chamber
• Why the search bar is the fastest way to rebuild what your feed shows you
• Producer or consumer? The questions that tell you which one you are
• "A producer leaves value; a consumer collects content"
• Why opening your phone first thing flips the anxiety switch — and Brooke and Danielle's workaround
• Comparison as the deadly sin of social media — and why followers don't mean what you think
• Keeping up with the Joneses, 13-inch TVs, and the $588 big screen at Sam's Club
• Hero worship: naming every Kardashian but not the first president
• How emotion sells — the bra ad, the shared IP address, and the celebrity endorsement
• Being addicted to outrage, and what "don't feed the trolls" is really protecting
• Bots, paid influencers, and people playing Joe American from another continent
• The Matrix's woman in the red dress as a metaphor for every notification
• Practical resets: block the ad, unfollow, and rewatch what you actually want more of
• Brooke's mentor's habit swap — go drink a glass of water instead
• "If your screen time report became your bank statement, would you consider it a good investment?"

Mentioned in this episode:

• The Social Dilemma — the documentary both hosts recommend
• The Matrix — the woman in the red dress
• Mona Lisa Smile — brought up in the keeping-up-with-the-Joneses conversation
• Film critic Pauline Kael's disputed 1972 election quote
• The earlier perimenopause and menopause episodes
• The first few episodes on drama as the number one addiction

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: themissingpeace26@gmail.com

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — if you'd like to buy us a cup of coffee

Brooke and Danielle would love to hear what your algorithm says about you — drop it in the comments.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

The average American adult spends 2.4 hours per day on social media. 2.4 hours per day, people. Okay. Now, what does this equal to? 17 hours every single week. Over 70 hours every month. Nearly 90900 hours every year. Okay, that is an equivalent of 37 full days of every year you've spent scrolling on some type of social media.

unknown 0:41

And then they came up with families awards.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

How's your day going today, Brooke?

SPEAKER_00 1:10

It is fabulous. I'm really excited to talk about this topic today. I think a lot of people are going to get some awareness from it. I know that I am preaching to the choir today. I know you are too. So uh today we yeah, today we're gonna be talking about what does your algorithm say about you. Um this is mainly surrounded around social media and how we're using it. Uh we have said on this podcast before that the number one addiction really is drama. So this we're gonna kind of lead into how does your what do what is your algorithm saying about you, right? If we're all about drama, then I think that we can all understand that we are our algorithm. And our algorithm may actually know us better than we know ourselves. And so we feel that this algorithm is feeding us intentionally what it thinks we want to see. And uh so yeah, that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Uh, Danielle, what do you think about that so far? That this seems very intentional, what we're going through right now.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Right. I I think of um basically a self-created echo chamber. And I know there's a there's a quote, and it, you know, sometimes I go down these rabbit holes and it's like the quote was said by this person, but it was actually this. So there's a little controversy on this. But a film critic um named Pauline Kale, um, after the 1972 election, she allegedly said, and again, there's a little, you know, little uh discussion about if these were her exact words, but she said, I don't know how rich how Richard Nixon could have won. I don't know anyone who voted for him. And this was very telling because if you are in a pocket of people, or if in this case social media, where you are literally dictating what you look at, what you consume, it's very easy to create an echo chamber where you're hearing back what you want to hear. And these rabbit holes that we go down, I mean, I think you mentioned it in the first couple episodes. Creating your algorithm could be as simple as going to the search bar and putting in something positive. But too often people go down these rabbit holes or go get into these scrolling sessions that could sometimes last hours, let's be honest. And they are curating, if it's good, great. If you have great things that make your life better, that fill it with purpose and excitement. That's a good use of social media as long as it's not, you know, addictive and abused. But for some people, social media has become their digital soapbox where they go on and just unleash on people. And I'm not talking about civil debate, I'm talking about things that make your blood boil and impact your mental health. So yeah, I think this episode is is so timely. It's so when you people do studies about how many hours we spend on social media, it's really crazy. So I'm excited for this, and I think it's good to have that awareness of of what we're doing and what we're spending our time, time with.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And something that kind of came up in our little conversation that we have before we kind of do this podcast. We throw some ideas back and forth to each other. And you brought up something called D-A-A-R-P-A program, which I have okay, I have no idea what this is. So tell I want you to tell us a little bit about this, and then um we're gonna move into some kind of the history of social media, what was it made for, and things like that. But I want to start with this because I think this is really a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

It's fascinating. Um, because when I first really started getting into social media, I was trying to remember what came before Facebook. I guess it was MySpace. My space. Yeah, Tom. Yeah, a guy. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And and uh when when social media really started getting popular, I was a young mother. I I remember it was 2004, because that was the year I got married. So it's kind of a big year for us. And so there was something we need to kind of keep in mind. Americans really value our privacy to the point where we have an amendment in the Bill of Rights to protect our privacy. So I think people get very weirded out when they find out that our government or you know, the powers that be are listening. And I know we're gonna come back to this later, but basically DARPA, and without going too much into the weeds, it was a government program. Um, some people say it was kind of part of the CIA port, part of like the black ops thing. But they had a program called Life Log. And it its intention was to gather information down to the details, favorites, foods, vacation spots, pretty much everything about the American citizenry. Now, if you think of it from a nefarious type of, you know, um train of thought, people didn't like that. They didn't want to willingly give the government all this information about them. I mean, maybe it's gonna be used for marketing, maybe it's gonna be used for something else, but lifelog was not very popular. And so it ended again because people didn't want to be giving so much of their information to the government. It ended on February 4th of 2004. Now, Facebook was created on February 4th, 2004. And I was remembering back to when I first logged into Facebook. And what's one of the first things they do? They ask you about your favorites. I don't know if you remember all the lists that would say, you know, your favorite ice cream. I know. And we willingly were like, I'm gonna copy and share. And so everyone out there in Facebook land can know what my favorite ice cream flavor is or my dream vacation destination. So think about that. And am I saying it's a conspiracy conspiracy that one started on the same day that it ended? Possibly. But I think the larger, the larger theme here is that things are not always what we think they are. And even though it may have seemed that it was organic, I don't think it was. And I would love to believe the story that a couple of college kids were in their dorm room and decided to start playing a game that led to one of the largest social media platforms on the globe. But in my recent experience, last five, six years, coincidences are not nearly as coincidental as I used to think. So take it for what you will. But yes, same date that lifelog ended, Facebook began.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Interesting. Very interesting. I found that to be, and I don't believe anything's actually coincidental. So uh yeah, there's that. That's just my opinion. But you know, take it or leave it, whatever. Um, well, you guys heard that, and uh, now that's kind of interesting. So yeah, go down the rabbit hole on that, see what you can find. Uh, I think it's always interesting. Take the information that we give you and then go research it, right? I mean, that's why we're giving you the information. Um, I think something that leading into kind of Facebook is that in 2004 when it started, its mission was basically basically around connect. It wanted to have this feeling that we were connecting with friends and family. So early marketing centered around building community, sharing life updates, like, hey, we got a new dog, we had a kid, you know, staying connected with people that uh you cared about or someone you felt cared about you, and then eventually other platforms. Not even getting paid for our time, but but marketing, their marketing dollars, they're making billions of dollars for our time. And so when I started to kind of research this, I was like, okay, this is kind of a a time reality check, really. Okay, this kind of blew my mind what I'm about to tell you, okay? So the average American adult spends 2.4 hours per day on social media, 2.4 hours per day, people. Okay. Now, what does this equal to 17 hours every single week? Over 70 hours every month, nearly 90900 hours every year. Okay, that is an equivalent of 37 full days of every year you've spent scrolling on some type of social media. So the question is, Danielle, what should we be doing with these extra 37 days that we could actually get back in our life? Like what would we create with them? You know, and it's unbelievable. I mean, that's just that's just facts. That's factual stuff there.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

So I'm I'm scrunching my face because I'm way above average on something I don't want to be above average on. And in my defense, you know, I I I sometimes people think Brooke and I like don't learn from ourselves. We absolutely do. Like she said, we're preaching to the choir today. I am way above average. And in my defense, I like to listen. I'm such a geek. I like to listen to congressional oversight hearings. Um, they are more drama than soap opera sometimes. Um, I really enjoy listening to podcasts while I'm working, while I'm doing housework, while I'm cooking. So it's not that I'm sitting there staring at my phone the whole time, although I do that as well. But you know what? It it I know we've mentioned this before. I think it really took off during COVID because we felt this isolation because we weren't seeing, you know, we weren't going to school, we weren't going to work, we weren't. I remember these Zoom calls with my family on every, every holiday, every birthday. It was just we were craving that human interaction. And I think social media gave us that. And I think it still gives us that. However, I like how you are posing the question about like our time and our attention as currency. It's one of the most valuable things we have. And as you mentioned, we are not getting paid. In fact, we're generating income for marketing, for advertisements, for the things that we buy. And the more self-aware I am about it, the more horrifying it is of how much of my time I'm actually spending looking at this little this little screen. So it's it's very convicting, but I'm I'm way above average. I need to work on that.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Yeah. And I think that this, I think that these numbers were actually talking about just scrolling. So it not even not even intentionally, like you're saying, using Facebook or Instagram or whatever, Twitter, whatever it might be, X, sorry, um, whatever it might be, it this is actual just scrolling time. Mindless scrolling. That's all it was. And so it just it it really did. It it took me back a little bit. And something that I want to say because I am in the family uh coaching world, I'm gonna say this. If you have small children, when your children are around, please spend time with them. Don't, don't try not to, if you can become aware enough to to understand that you're scrolling mindlessly and you're giving your time to something that doesn't even care about you, has no has no intention of making your life really any better. And you have your child there, spend some just put the phone down, spend some time with them. I promise you it it's not it's not worth it. And um a lot of times too, kids will come over and be like, mommy, daddy, what are you looking at? And they want to look at the screen too, and that tells you that they feel like that is more important than them. And so that's just my little bit on on social media and families, and just really be very cognitive of your if your child is around, be very aware of how much you are spending on social media or just scrolling, just mindless, you know, doing that. I I know that we need to veg out sometimes. I completely understand that. But if your child is in the room, try and try and just have some, yeah, just a little awareness. And I I get this a lot, you know, in in when I go into families and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

So but yeah, I think establishing some some boundaries. Like I I think when we go out to eat, my husband and I went to a con uh a comedy show and we went out to dinner before, and I was looking around a very crowded restaurant, and there were some tables where every single person at the table was on their phone. They were, you know, four or five people sitting, not interacting, not talking. And I'm not, it's not a judgment as much as it's an awareness because I know I get annoyed, and I'm sure I do this to people and annoy them when I'm trying to talk to someone and they're looking down because I feel like they're not paying attention, they're not listening to what I'm saying, but then I do the same thing. So we're in a brand new world that even if it's not brand new, it's new to our generation. I know you and I are technology immigrants. We didn't start off with it, right? No, um, there we're not natives like our kids are, but it's it's it's and you know, I I did want to mention, um, I read somewhere that if the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is to pick up your phone, it's almost like you're flipping that anxiety switch. Like, okay, let me see what I missed in the hours that I was asleep. And, you know, we're we're we're so we're FOMO. We're fear of missing out. We don't want to miss anything. And so I've tried to kind of thwart that by opening like my Bible app first, you know, try to set the stage with something positive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Yeah, because you know, everything a lot of things is are is on the phone, right? It's on the phone. And so I I think that's actually a great idea. Is instead of going to Facebook, Instagram, go to the Bible app, or you know, get up, go to the bathroom, do your thing. And then because I I do find sometimes, I mean, especially maybe on the weekends when I do have when I don't have somewhere pressing to be, I can open Facebook and I can be there for a good 20 minutes, and then I'm like, what are you doing? Like, you need to get up and do something. So, no, it's definitely, yeah, take, take, open it up with intention. Pick up your phone with intention. Uh, something else that uh I always like to talk about with social media too, is whether we are, and I don't even know who I heard this from, but when I heard it, I was like, oh wow, that's really enlightening. Was um, are you a producer or or are you a consumer of social media? So, how would you know if you were a consumer? So a couple things that you would ask yourself was do you open social media without knowing why you're doing it? Do you spend more time watching than you actually create on there? Do you know more about influencers than you know about your own family? Do you scroll when you're bored? Do you feel worse about yourself after getting off social media? Like, do you feel like a failure or like I've just wasted my time? Um, have you ever lost track of time while scrolling? I have totally lost time scrolling. Yeah, for sure. Like, where was I for the last 20 minutes, right? Um but if you're if you're a producer, you're gonna do more things like do you create content uh that that serves others? Do you educate in your content? Do you inspire? Do you entertain people? Uh, are you building relationships with your with your content? Are you trying to grow a business, right? Because a lot of what's on social media now, people are are trying to get out their businesses. They are trying to let you know what they do. Um, are you leaving people better than you found them? Right. So what we have realized, and I I don't remember who said this, but a producer leaves value, a consumer collects content. And more people these days are consuming than producing.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

I know I agree. And I I think that a lot of people don't feel that they have the ability. And I used to be like this like, I don't know how to make a reel, I don't know how to how to talk into a camera. I mean, what do they say that public speaking, which I would argue being online is similar to public speaking because you you are putting yourself out there, you're being vulnerable. But they say it's right up there with like, you know, showing up to school naked and prepared for a test or something like that. Like, you know, it's it's a nightmare scenario for some people where they do not want to do that. So I get, and I don't want people to feel like, well, I'm not a producer. Does that make me a bad person? No, not at all. I think it's the awareness of why we're getting online and is it benefiting our soul? Are we getting a good boost? I've started following a gal, I don't know her name off the top of my head, but she she does like the two characters and it's a lot about manifestation. And she's fantastic. And I love how her her side, she has like her side and then the universe, her side is so honest, where I feel like she's saying a lot of the things that we say to each other, we say to ourselves. And so I I don't want anyone to feel bad if you're not a producer, a consumer, whatever the case is. It's not about feeling bad, it's about being aware and really spending your time wisely. And I know we've referred a couple of times to the movie The Matrix. And for anyone who's seen that, there is a scene where Keanu Reeves, as Neo, is walking and it's almost looks like New York. There's a lot of people, and all of a sudden you see the beautiful woman in the red dress. And I think of that scene because there have been times where I have something important to do, and all of a sudden I see a notification on my phone that will take me to a video that will consume the next 30 to 40 minutes of my life. And so I think the the notifications and you can turn them off. I did learn I had a certain app that was ding ding and it got out of control. And I went and turned it off and I went, oh, there peace.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Yes, peace. I love it. Yeah. And I think the other thing, kind of the deadly sin of social media, is that the comparison factor. And see, oh, comparison is the worst because it really takes us out of who we really are and trying to, you know, keep up with other people. And back before social media, I mean, you know, even like the Bible says, don't, you know, your neighbor, you know, don't be looking at your neighbor and wondering, you know, don't be jealous, right? And so back back when there was no social media, I mean, we were just really comparing ourselves to our classmates or people we worked with, or our neighbors, or you know, maybe a friend. But today, now we are comparing ourselves with millions and millions of people, you know, and we're constantly saying, oh, that person's, you know, fitter than I am, that person's more successful, that person's prettier, the richest person, right? And so it just we can make sure that when you're looking at people on social media, don't fall for that deadly sin of that person's better than me, or that person has more followers. Followers do not mean anything, y'all. They really don't, they don't mean much. Some of people will follow you, or it could be a bot, or they'll never see you again, you know, and don't feel like you're behind or you're not enough, or they're doing better than me. You know, we have to be able to stay and Who we are and understand that we may be serving, you know, 20 people. They may be serving 200, and that's okay. Right. And you brought up a great one too was about keeping up with the Joneses.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Yeah, I was gonna say there's a a movie called Mona Lisa's Smile with Julia Roberts and some some really great young actresses. And it talks about the actual Joneses that were this family on the East Coast that people were trying to keep up with. And before there was social media, I mean, I remember a lot with vehicles, like, oh, did you see so-and-so's new truck? Did you see so-and-so? Because it was something you could see. Or you might uh have someone go, oh, you have a 13-inch TV, which by the way, I used to have a 13-inch TV. Watching football was like watching ants. And I remember we'd kind of sit kind of close so we could see what was going on. Now they have like 85-inch televisions that are actually not as expensive as they used to be. No, and so I no at all.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

$588 at Costco or at Sam's Club right now. When we walked in the other day, I was like, that TV's $588. Telling Seth, he's like, I know it's ridiculous. And it's huge, thousands. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't even you couldn't even imagine even getting yourself a TV like that. Yeah. So yeah, don't yeah, don't keep up with the Joneses. If someone has that TV, honestly, that TV is way too big for me. I couldn't even that TV is way too big for a room.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Something that you mentioned about people comparing themselves with with all, you know, millions of people. I think that the the hero worship, the idol worship has really gotten kind of out of control. And I love those like man on the street videos where they go and ask people questions. Um, and you know, there's some people that'll say, yes, that's correct, even if the answer was completely ridiculous. But it's amazing to me that people can name the Kardashian sisters, they can name sports heroes, they can rattle off statistics, but then you ask them who our first president was, they don't know, or how many states there are in the union. Now, granted, I'm a history and politics person, so I enjoy that type of stuff, but yeah, we need to get to back to the basics of our nation, the civic virtue. Like we're gonna lose it if we're more worried about media influencers than we are our own souls and the souls of those around us.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

I think that's well, and I think this leads into like the another thing that we wanted to talk about was um, you know, uh the our attention, right? And so like engagement, right? They want to, they emotion sells is sell when you sell something, you want to they want you to emotionalize with it, right? So it a lot of these algorithms uh algorithms are based on this kind of content, again, time and attention. And uh what they're using is they're using these very famous people who you uh idolize or look up to to sell you something in in an emotional way to try to get you to buy all of these products. And so again, uh you know, I really understand that the the that Facebook well or Instagram or a lot of these ones, the ads is what's making all of this money, and they need you to stay on the platform to make sure that you are going to hopefully buy something. Um, I I I can tell you that I will scroll and I'll see an ad for a bra, okay? And I'm like, man, that bra looks really comfortable. You know, I might I might actually like that bra, you know, but I know if I click on that ad, I will only see that bra for the next four or five days, and they will grind my my algorithm with that bra or and other kind types of bras until either they give up and they realize she doesn't want to, she's not gonna buy a bra, or I buy the bra. And then guess what? After I buy the bra, the ads go away. And so imagine if I was really, you know, obsessed with Taylor Swift, and Taylor Swift was selling a bra. When I buy the bra, I probably buy the bra the first time because I idolize this person. And when this person says, Hey, this is a good product, hundreds of people, thousands, millions of people are buying this bra. So that's something, I mean, that's just a little story, but I know if I click that, and then what ends up happening too, I don't know if this ever happens to you, but because my husband and I are on the same IP address, IP address, right? Yeah, they um he'll start seeing stuff and he'll be like, Are you looking at bras? Because I'm seeing bras. I'm like, how are you seeing, you know? And so it's just really interesting. Like sometimes stuff will come into my IP add into through the IP address, and I'm like, what is this? I don't even, I don't want to buy a motorbike. And I'll ask Seth, why are you looking at motorbikes? Is Reed looking at motorbikes? Who's looking at motorbikes? And he's like, Oh, I'm looking at motorbikes. I'm like, Yeah, that's why they're in my feed. I was like, get out of my feed. So yeah, it's just it's it's it's all of these things is very interesting when you start to learn how all of it's really connected and that they are 100% marketing to us all the time. I mean, you are being marketed to every single every moment you walk into a grocery store or a store or you get online or you're driving down the street, we are constantly being marketed to. And so I think it's really important for us all, including myself, to be aware that I am being marketed to and that maybe I don't even need that thing that they want to try and throw on me.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

And I I like how you you pointed out the emotional connection to that because I I would argue that controlling emotions in the 21st century, with everything that's being thrown at us, we are addicted to outrage. I know we've already talked about this. We're addicted to drama. We are being told that to be hip, to be trendy, we have to be addicted to our phones and to social media. And I think what where I see people really living, you know, what I would call their best lives, it's not that they turn off social media, but they have an awareness about it and they are intentional with how they use it. And I think that's something you've really taught me going into anything is the intention behind it. And I think for me, I can definitely go back to our paramenopause episodes. There are times where I'm like, oh, I'm in it. I can feel that my emotions are, you know, if my husband looks at me the wrong way, I'm gonna you start crying or something. It is a horrible feeling as a woman to be aware of it, but not be in control of it. And so I for me, that's one thing that I'm trying to really do is be aware of why do I feel this way? Did I just spend an hour on social media and now I'm annoyed because I'm arguing with something about probably someone I don't even know about something that doesn't really matter? Is that a good use of time?

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Yes, yes, yes. I've done things like where I've said, okay, I'm gonna put my phone down for an hour. I'm not gonna look at it for an hour. Now, of course, I might come in and just check it and make sure I don't have any messages from friends or clients or anything like that, but you know, or my kids, that's mainly why I really keep track of my phone. It's mainly on silent majority of the time. So I have to go in and check. But I'll check and I'll be like, nope, all you're doing is checking this and you're getting out. The amount of things that I get done in that hour or an hour and a half is actually incredibly amazing because I'm not being distracted. I'm like, just put on some music and just go do the things, right? And you can get so much done if you just if we just like put our phones down. And I I'm telling you, I have to sometimes do this and say, okay, I have to disconnect from the world for a minute so that I can get this long laundry list of things that I need to get done. If not, I'm gonna, you know, be sucked into something else. Uh yeah. And I think something that we we came across was a saying that said, uh, if your screen time report became your bake bank statement, would you consider it a good investment? I loved that one. Danielle loved that one because she's in the financial world. And she was like, No, no, I wouldn't. I was like, Yeah, I probably wouldn't either. Um, even though I I feel as though I am a cons I I am a producer. I do produce things. Obviously, here we are producing this. This some of this stuff is gonna go on our socials. We we we do have an obligation to go in there and like it and share it and do all those things, right? And we have intention when we go do that. But a hundred percent I am still a consumer. I still consume other people's stuff, their content. Uh sometimes my husband and I do. We we scroll together and we watch videos and we laugh our butts off and we have fun with it. And, you know, and it's just kind of a sometimes a thing that we do or the kids and I will do it together. But but yeah, I mean, you know, everything is a balance, you know, balancing out it's balancing everything, you know what and and I think at the end, if it makes you feel good, do it. But make make be aware that if it's not making you feel good, then yeah, switch it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

Well, I think uh I we've talked a lot about being reactive to stuff. And that's I I've learned that's an exhausting way to live. And you know, with with finances, uh 68%, based on the last stat I saw, of American families don't have a budget. And that's a lot of people just being very reactive. And for me, once I started controlling my finances, knowing where the money was going, seeing where I was spending too much, or you know, just realizing I needed to invest more, whatever the case was, it really does bring a sense of peace. So if we apply that to social media and to our algorithm, is our algorithm, what does your algorithm say about you? And I would love anyone watching to look at whatever Instagram, Facebook, what does your algorithm say about you? And if you want, share it in the comments because I'd really love to hear what types of things show up in your algorithm. And were you intentional about that? Or is it just a happy accident that, you know, the the recipes that that you're using or the gardening tips or whatever it is that you are attracted to and that you're you're looking for, what is that doing to your life and to your peace? Is it giving you more peace? Awesome. If not, it might be worth taking a look and you know, maybe not watching some of those videos that that make our blood boil a little bit and ruin our day.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think you you said it right, you know, we you are your algorithm. You are the one that ha has built it. So, and and there are ways that we can reset it too, you know. Like you said, go to the search bar. If if you if you start to become aware of what's in your algorithm and you don't even like it, you know, get rid of it. Something else that I do too, and I'm gonna tell, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but if you see an ad and you don't like the ad, you can unfollow that person or block that person. I block ads all the time. I'll go in there, I'll be like, block this per block this person that's sending this ad. Or do you like this ad? Like go in there and say, no, I don't want to see this anymore. Because it seems like every what, every two posts maybe is now like an ad or two. I mean, I feel like I see more ads than I even see. And I'll tell you what, I don't see my friends or family anymore. I see, you know, sometimes very random things. And sometimes I do feel like it, they're trying to push it in my face. As many times as I I have said, you know, I don't want to see Travis Kelsey's podcast come up on my my feed. Somehow, someway, it it they're there. And I'm like, I don't want to see these dudes on my podcast or on my my feed, right? I don't want to see this, and so I just have to continuously tell it, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see this, I don't want to see things about, you know, certain people. I'm not gonna name names, but certain things about certain celebrities, okay? And I just say, I don't like this. So really go through it and like clean it up and start to unfollow people. And the other part that you can do is anything that you really, really like, comment, share it, and like it and and and re-watch it a couple times because then you're training your algorithm to say, oh, I okay, I like this, I shared it, I clicked on it, I wanna, I wanna see more of the content that this is. And that really is the best way to do it, to really change your algorithm. Um, again, the search bar is great. Um, yeah, I mean, these are just ways to to to change your algorithm. And if you if you don't like it, you know, and it's okay also, I mean, you can also block, like I said, block ads, block people. Just it's okay. You don't have to engage in everything that you know social media is throwing at you.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

And I think we we come from a generation where being a people pleaser and not rocking the boat, I mean, I think that that has definitely evolved, but you weren't supposed to start a debate. You weren't supposed to anger people. And I would just ask people to really look into. I love talking politics, especially on X. And there have been times where I've realized this person who's acting like Joe American, commenting on all these issues within the United States, you can go and look and see where they're at. Sometimes they're in Asia, sometimes they're in Africa. And I'm not saying that people outside of our nation can't have an opinion. Of course they can. But don't act like you are from Oklahoma and you're complaining about our government when you might either be a bot or you're a paid influencer who is paid. And we all know who those are on both sides. They're paid thousands and thousands of dollars a month to make people mad. To, and so I I've noticed lately on X people have started to say, don't feed the trolls, don't feed the trolls, don't get on there and comment because it's just making them money and fueling the division. And I think we're we're at a period we've talked about it in the last episode of Great Awakening. We're trying to heal this world, we're trying to heal ourselves. And so that I and you know, I think all of us have been in a situation where we realize we're arguing with a person who's either not real or I know I've I've encountered that and it's very weird. It makes me think of the Matrix and and the Social Dilemma. If if people haven't seen The Social Dilemma, it's a great documentary.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Yeah, just to see how blow that one will blow your ever-loving mind. I mean, the ways that the trickery that they use is insane. I I probably need I I I think I'm gonna watch it again, actually, because I did, I think I did take a small break after I watched that that one. Now, I can't take a small break nowadays. I've got too much going on on the, you know, in there, but I do feel like it could probably, yeah, I think it will help me um maybe. And this is all about habits, you guys. Like we continuously talk about this. It's all about the habits, right? Um, if you need to replace another habit, you know. I uh something that my mentor always says, listen, if you're about to do something and you that you you you actually become aware that you're gonna do something. So, like let's say you're gonna go pick up that that phone and look at that social media. Go take a uh get a glass of water and drink some water and it will go away. And you will consciously start to think about like, okay, I'm gonna pick up my phone. Why am I gonna pick up my phone? Well, probably because I'm bored. Okay, well, what other things can I do instead of, yeah, I probably don't want to do the laundry, but I'm I need to go do the laundry. And guess what? You're gonna feel so much better doing the laundry, going to the gym, going for a walk, playing with your kids, walking your dog, whatever it is, vacuuming, you're gonna feel so much better after doing those things than scrolling. Trust me, I know I do this. I have to, I'm, I become aware of it all the time. Like, you gotta get up. You gotta get up and go do something, right? These are usually days where I don't have much to do, like on the weekends. I'm like, oh, Sundays, I'm just sitting around, like, no, you gotta do, you gotta get up and do something, right? Don't just don't give your time and attention to this, this, this thing, this robot that we're all right, we're all attached to. Yeah. So well, I've really enjoyed this this conversation, and I I know Danielle, I'm gonna speak for her too and say that she has. So uh yeah, and and we are uh we are doing our best to keep this this podcast going. And so we again are going to say that if you did enjoy this, uh, there are a few things you can do to help us keep this going. You can like this, you can share this, you can comment, you can tell a friend. Uh those are always very helpful. Uh they they do take only a few seconds to do, and we really appreciate those, those things that all those things that you guys are doing for us. Also, we are asking that if you did get something out of this and you want to send a small donation to our Venmo account, uh, we will have it down in um the description. Uh, you are more than welcome to send something. You are more than welcome to reach out to Danielle and I at any time and say, hey, will you do this topic? Will you guys talk more about this? I'm really interested in this. We're always looking for feedback. Um, we, whether it's it's good, bad, ugly, whatever, we are here to uh to listen and um and help you guys through whatever it is that you need help with. Uh yeah. So, Danielle, you got anything else you wanna you want to say before we end today? No, I think you nailed it.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

A lot of people giving us really, I mean, every time we hear from people, whether we know them or not, it feels so good because we just want to help people. And as we've been saying since episode one, we were having these conversations, really enlightening each other with our expertise and thought we wanted to share that with the world. And I've had people say, I love your podcast. I get so much out of it. I can't wait for Wednesday morning. We love that. So please, you know, keep keep doing that, keep sharing if if there's someone that you think might enjoy this. And if you want to buy us a cup of coffee, um, our Venmo is in the uh in the description. And we're just looking forward to sharing more content and hopefully bringing a smile to your day. Yeah. Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

All right, y'all. We'll see you next time. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Bye.