Body Changes After 40: How to Set Goals You Can Win

Body changes after 40 can make aging feel like a fight you keep losing. If you've been searching for how to look younger, this episode is a different way to think about aging gracefully through perimenopause and beyond.

A comment from my husband while I was getting dressed changed how I think about every workout and every meal at 45. In this episode, I share the four decisions that let me train five days a week, get Botox, and feel genuinely calm, if even excited, about getting older. If your clothes fit differently, your weight is settling somewhere new, and every body goal you set leaves you feeling further behind, this one was made for you.

In this episode:

• The one word hiding inside your body goals that sets you up to fail after 40
• Why the mirror is the worst reason to keep training through perimenopause
• What I do when hormonal changes move weight to my stomach (extra cardio isn't it)
• The one question to ask before Botox, filler, or any anti-aging treatment

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

💪🏼 The Strong Core Method: my 4-week at-home core program for women over 40, built for every level, even if you've never worked out a day in your life. 12 guided workouts per level with video demos, 20 minutes, 3 times a week, to build a stronger, more defined midsection.

📝 Grab the FREE Fat Loss Formula Workbook to calculate your exact calorie deficit and maintenance numbers.

🎯 Take the FREE 'What's My Metabolism Type' Quiz to identify your unique metabolism type and get a personalized plan to manage your weight confidently.

💌 Stay connected: join my BTB Newsletter for weekly insights.

🎧 Listen Next: Why Losing Weight After 40 Makes You Look Worse

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👋🏻 ABOUT ME:

I'm Andrea, a double-certified NASM Nutrition and Fitness Coach and founder of Behind the Body. For 20 years, I under-ate, avoided weights, and lived on cardio chasing skinny, and none of it gave me a body I was proud of. In my mid-30s, I changed my approach: more protein, real strength training, and a plan that fit my life. I lost 20 pounds, and 10 years later, at 45, I'm still maintaining it through perimenopause. I help women over 40 simplify their approach, build real strength, and get results that last. Every week, I cover the science, the strategy, and the honest truth about fat loss and maintenance for women over 40.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER:

This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider before making changes to your diet, exercise, or health routine. Results vary. Andrea is a NASM-certified Nutrition and Fitness Coach, not a doctor or registered dietitian.

Transcript

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I'm Andrea and welcome to Behind the Body. If you're over 40 and trying to lose fat, build muscle, or take better care of your health, you're in the right place. Every week we'll tackle the questions women over 40 are asking about nutrition, fitness, metabolism, and aging, helping you spend less time doing what doesn't move the needle and more time focusing on what does without the extremes or the all-or-nothing mindset. From friend to friend, even if we've never met before, I need to tell you this. You are not going to win a fight against aging, no matter how hard you try. And I am saying this with all the love as someone who works out five days a week, who gets Botox, who is obsessed with skincare, and feels way better at 45 than I ever did in my 30s. So if you've caught yourself in the mirror lately and you felt that little drop in your chest, if your clothes are fitting differently and your first instinct was to declare war on your own body, or decide that you might just have to stop caring altogether, that it's just downhill from here, then this one's for you. Because in this episode, I'm gonna tell you how to set body goals that you can win at the age you are right now. And the one goal you should drop that keeps making you feel like you're losing. And I'm gonna tell you what my husband said to me while I was getting dressed a couple weeks ago because it is the whole reason that this episode exists. So here's what happened: I got out of the shower and I was getting dressed, and I was complaining to my husband that I gained a little weight and my shorts were feeling a little tighter on my stomach. And he said to me, it's going to be hard for you to keep getting older as your body changes. You're not going to be able to look like that anymore. And I get why he said it to me. I mean, he watches me train, he watches the way I eat, and he assumed that the whole reason I do those things is how I look. And that's the part that stung a little bit. Not the aging comment, but the assumption underneath it. Because yes, I want to look good. And I'm not gonna pretend that that's not part of why I do what I do every day. But what I told him and what is true in my soul was that I'm not trying to look younger than my age. I just want to look like the best version of myself at whatever age that is. And when I said it out loud, I realized like how liberating it is and how much freedom is in that mindset. So I want to share the four ways I've developed this mindset in hopes that it can liberate you and set you free as well. These are the four things that I do that let me work hard on my body and look good without having to be at war with my age. And they build on one another. By the fourth one, you'll be able to set a body goal for yourself that you can win year after year. The first thing I'd ask you to do is to say your body goal out loud and listen for the word younger or any version of that. Like get my 35-year-old body back or fit into my genes before the kids were born, or look like I did at our wedding. Like any goal that points backwards is a moving target. Because every single year, that gap between you today and that past version of you widens. You get further away from the person you used to be and look like. So you can be making actual real progress in your health and fitness and your body and still feel like you're failing. And that feeling is exactly what makes women quit, hate their bodies, or feel so discouraged, like they're never going to be able to hit their goals. So, since we don't have a time machine to go back, rewrite the goal for your current age. I don't need to look like I'm in my 30s. If I can look and feel my best I possibly can at 45, that's literally everything. And it isn't settling. You're just trading a goal that gets you further away every single year for one that you can hit year after year after year. And to me, that's exciting and that feels really good. Second, attach your training and your workouts and your food to how they make you feel the very same day because that's what keeps you going when motivation dips. Exercises change how you feel literally in the moment, and especially right after. You get more energy, you're in a better mood, you get better sleep that night. And that's true at any age. But the mirror or the scale as a measurement can take weeks or months to change. And after 40, it changes differently than it used to, or they're not so quick to reward us anymore. So if the mirror and the scale is the only reason that you work out and eat healthy, then there's a good chance that you'll quit more easily. And this is the piece that my husband got wrong about me. The reason I've trained so consistently for over a decade, and why I rarely skip a workout is how it makes me feel. It gives me confidence. It gives me encouragement that I can do hard things. I have a ton of energy, I sleep better, I can carry all my grocery bags in in one trip from the car, or put the luggage in the overhead bin when I travel on my own. Like looking good is a bonus that I absolutely enjoy. But the feeling good part is the reason that I keep showing up, the reason that I can't not work out, the reason that I can't go binge eat whatever I want. So find the feeling that your workout and your eating healthy gives you on the day that it happens. Recognize that feeling, think about it, memorize it, internalize it, and keep chasing that. Third, when your body changes in a way that you did not choose, don't punish it. Perimenopause and menopause shift where your body stores fat. And now more of it than ever settles around your stomach, even when your habits haven't changed at all. The old version of me would have responded with extra cardio and doing a bigger calorie deficit. I don't do that anymore because that response, that intensity costs muscle, it costs energy, it costs my mood, and it starts a spiral where then your whole life shrinks down to fighting one inch of your waste. And I refuse to spend my 40s at war with my own body. When the change is hormonal, I accept it and I put my effort into things that respond, like my strength, my protein, my gut health and my sleep and my stress management. Acceptance and effort can coexist just fine. You can accept that your body is changing and redistributing where it holds fat and still show up hard every week for your workouts and your healthy eating. And fourth, do whatever makes you feel your best and know your reason why. I get Botox twice a year. I do laser treatments on my face. I'm super into skincare. I use red light therapy. I've tried filler. None of that contradicts a word that I've said because I know exactly why I do it. I want to look like the best version of myself at 45 that I can. And looking 30 has nothing to do with it. So if you want the Botox, the filler, the facelift, the tummy tuck, like I support that a thousand percent and truly feel you should do whatever makes you happy. But just ask yourself this one question first. Is this to look and feel my best at my age, or is it to convince people that I'm younger than I am? The first one is a choice and it's showing up for you. And as a result, it usually delivers on making you feel better and more confident. The second one is the unwinnable fight, trying to look or feel like a past version of yourself. And the price of playing that game goes up every year you get older. There's no question, and I'm certainly not trying to minimize the fact that aging can be so hard to watch on your own body. Your skin changes, your energy changes, your mood changes, the weight sits somewhere new, and you literally feel like you have no control over any of it. No mindset makes all of that painless. It just doesn't. But I have lost people who I love who never got the chance to turn 45. So, in my mind, getting older while healthy is such a privilege. And when I remember that and when I think about it in that sense, then all of that small stuff loses its grip on me. So the one thing I'd love for you to take away from this is you don't have to love every change happening to your body to stop fighting your age. Aim for your best, for the age you are today, and then do it again next year and the year after that. That's a goal you get to win every single year for the rest of your life. Now, if you're sitting there thinking, okay, Andrea, I'm in, but what does my best at my age even look like for my body? What should I expect? Like what's normal? I created a free quiz called What's My Metabolism Type just for that. It takes about two minutes and it shows you the exact shifts you can make to help you feel and look your best based on your life and body. And it gives you a customized plan on what to work on first. I will link the free quiz in the show notes below. If this was helpful, I would love if you could follow the show so that the next one lands in your library automatically. And if you have a quick 10 seconds, I would so appreciate if you could leave a quick rating for the show. It's the single biggest thing that helps other women find this podcast. And if you want more on all things health, fitness, nutrition, and lifestyle for us women over 40, come and join the behind the body community. Every week I just send you something straight to your inbox to help you keep making progress. You can sign up for free at behindthebody.com forward slash newsletter. If this episode hit home, go back and listen to the one on why losing weight after 40 can make you worse. Because it pairs with everything we covered today. It's episode number 67. Thanks so much for tuning in, my friend, and I can't wait to chat with you next time.