High-Functioning....but Tired

Many women are praised for being strong, capable, and dependable. The ones who can handle anything.

But sometimes the ability to keep going hides the fact that we’re exhausted.

In this short reflection, I share thoughts on the quiet pressure many high-functioning women carry—and why strength isn’t always endurance. Sometimes strength is discernment.

In process, Erica

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Today's episode is a voice memo that I recorded back in December of 2025. The date was 1215, 2025, and I had actually forgotten that I had recorded this voice memo on my iPhone until yesterday. I had planned on uploading a uh episode about gratitude, but this topic of high-functioning women was discussed at an event that I went to this past Saturday. So when I came across my recording yesterday, I was like, okay, that's not a coincidence. So I am sharing this voice memo exactly as it was recorded. I want to talk about something that actually gets uh praised a lot but rarely questioned. Being a high functioning woman, on the surface, it looks like strength. It's like you can handle anything. You're Wonder Woman. She's a woman, she's a wife, she's a ma. She's a cook. She's a baker. She volunteers. She helps sit with the elderly. She does all these things. You can handle things. You adapt. You keep going. But on the surface, it it looks like strength. And because you're still functioning, no one checks in too deeply to see on how you're actually doing, including you. I've noticed that high-functioning women were often the ones who will just learn early to just push through or push their needs aside. Suck it up. Remain stoic because you don't fall apart. You adjust. Do what you gotta do. Never let them see you sweat. You just normalize being tired, and that's so, so sad, so sad. Why, why, why do we do this? Why have we been programmed to be this way? I don't know. It's so draining. Because we tell ourselves, oh, it's just a season, you know, I'm just doing this for now. Just hold on, Erica. It's gonna be okay. And maybe it is. But sometimes I can handle it. It turns into I never stop carrying it. You just walk around with the weight of the world on your shoulders. And we feel that the world eventually is going to reward us for this kind of strength for walking around doing it all and not complaining. You become dependable. I mean, I love when people tell me I'm dependable. I'm capable, I'm needed. But at times, there is a quiet loneliness that comes with always being the one who can manage everything. People just assume you're fine because you look fine, but they just don't know you're you're you're slowly dying or crying on the inside just because of your outward stoic appearance. I want to say this clearly. You don't need to break down to justify rest. You don't have to be at the point of death to get some rest. Exhaustion to make a change. Strength isn't just endurance. Strength can also be discernment. The fact that knowing that something is costing you more than it's giving back. So maybe today the question isn't how do I keep going, but what am I carrying simply because I always have? Just because it's what I've been programmed to do. Just a thought. I want you to just notice what comes up because I'm dealing with this myself. This is first messy draft. Becoming is messy. Growth is real. I'll meet you again soon.