Episode 16: FEAR | False Evidence Appearing Real

In this episode of Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor, we’re addressing one of the biggest things standing between you and your next level…

👉🏽 Fear.

Not the loud kind.
Not the obvious kind.

But the kind of fear that quietly talks you out of your next move.

The kind that delays…
That overthinks…
That procrastinates…
That makes excuses sound reasonable…

The kind that keeps you busy… but not moving.

Because here’s the truth…

💥 Many people are not stuck because they’re not ready…
They’re stuck because fear has been making their decisions.

This episode builds on last week’s message, Position Yourself to Win, and answers the real question:

If you know what to do…
What’s still holding you back?

💥 In this episode, we break down:

🧠 How fear disguises itself as logic, timing, and caution
💭 How overthinking and avoidance are costing you progress
📊 Why clarity is the key to moving forward
💳 How fear shows up in your finances, credit, and decisions
🎯 And how to stop waiting and start taking action

💥 Key Takeaways:

✔ Fear is not always loud — sometimes it’s subtle and disguised
✔ Avoidance is expensive and will cost you more than you realize
✔ Clarity kills fear and gives you direction
✔ You don’t need to feel ready — you need to be willing
✔ Movement breaks the cycle of hesitation

🎯 This episode is not just about fear…
It’s about awareness, responsibility, and action.

Because you cannot move forward…
if fear is still in control.

💥 I don’t just talk about real estate…
I teach you how to become the person who can sustain it.

📝 Homework Assignment:

Take a moment and write this down:

“What Fear Has Been Costing Me”

Then answer:

• What have I been avoiding?
• What decision have I delayed because I am afraid?
• What is one action I need to take this week?

Then take one step.

Not everything.
Not ten things.

One.

Because clarity kills fear.
Action exposes fear.
Truth weakens fear.

📣 And I’ll leave you with this…

Own your life…
so you can own a piece of America 🇺🇸

#LifeFinanceRealEstate #KirbyTheRealtor #OwnYourLife #OwnAPieceOfAmerica #MindsetFirst #LevelUp

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to life. Finance and real estate. The ever changing real estate market, and of course, things going on in life. Here it's a little bit more with you in your home.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Hey, family, hey family, hey family. Welcome back to Life Finance and Real Estate with your girl Kirby the Realtor. Listen, y'all, I am so grateful. I'm so, so grateful that you are here with me again for another week, another conversation, and another opportunity for us to grow, think, reflect, and move forward with more clarity, more discipline, and more intention. This show has never been just about houses. I know people see life, finance, and they see the word real estate, and they just say, oh, she's just trying to tell us how to buy a house. No, no, no, no. Listen, hear me clearly. It's not just about houses, it's not just about money. It's never been just about credit and it's never been just about business. This show is about how we live, it's about how we think, it's about how we manage what God has placed in our hands. It's about how we stop surviving by accident and start living on purpose. I don't just talk about real estate. I teach you how to become the person who can sustain it. And every single week I want to make sure that we talk about what we talk about. It's not just the information you hear. I don't want it to go in one ear and go out the other. But I want it to be something that you can actually apply to your life because I give y'all real life things. I give you things I've been through, things I've experienced as a business owner, as a mom, as a wife, as a realtor, as just a person in general. Because it's real life. So the things that I give you is is not just generic stuff. It's stuff that I've been through. So I'm not telling you something I haven't been through or endured. It's not just textbook. Just know this. Hearing something and doing something, it's not the same. Okay. Knowing something and becoming it are not the same. And being exposed to truth means nothing. Absolutely nothing. If you keep walking away from what is unchanged, do you hear me? You can be exposed to a lot. You know, a lot of people say, I was exposed to this growing up, I was exposed to that. Well, you, and then you look at them like, well, if you were exposed to this, how are you where you are? So when I say exposed to the truth means nothing if you keep walking away from it unchanged, you never changed it. Listen, today we're gonna talk about something that has been sitting in the middle of a whole lot of people's lives, their finances, their goals, healing, and obedience. Today, y'all, we're gonna talk about a four-letter word. Four-letter word. We may have touched on it early on, and y'all hear it a lot, but fear, F-E-A-R, and not just the kind of fear that makes you shake, not the kind of fear that comes when something bad happens, but the kind of fear that quietly talks you out of your next step. Think about it. Think about it. When you have this idea or when you have this go and this drive, and you're thinking, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this, and then you fear comes upon you and you start hearing things, saying something in your ear. And it's that kind of fear that delays, that kind of fear that makes you procrastinate, overthink, the kind of fear that makes excuses sound so reasonable, the kind of fear that keeps a person looking busy while never actually moving. Y'all, I've been that person. Like I have, I've been that person where I've just been busy. I've been here, I go there, I went there, and I went. And I said to myself, one day, I do so much, but I do nothing. You know, when you feel like when you can see yourself doing so much and you feel like you're still not going nowhere and you're still in the same place, ask yourself why. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of? Y'all listen, today's episode is called Fear. False evidence appearing real. And no, it's not new, it's not something I came up with. It's been out, this acronym has been out a long time. But I just want to refresh your memory. Fear. Think about it. Fear, false evidence appearing real. I had to travel recently and I fear bridges over bodies of water. Now, people that know me know I am a daredevil. I will jump out of a plane, I will bungee jump, I will do a lot of things, but it's just something about driving over water, and it's a bridge, and I can see the incline of that bridge. Fear sets in. And someone told me that you need to stop it. They were like, it stops here, it stops right now. You you should not be fearful. Like, that's not the way, you know. They even brought the story about Job. And I had to sit with that and listen. Like, you start fearing the very thing you fear happens. Like, so is a man thinking in his heart, so is he. Like, it's it's a lot, y'all. Fear is fear. Let me tell you something. It's important that we don't allow fear to overtake us. Okay, false evidence appearing real. And family, this is important because some of you are not lacking the opportunity, some of you are not lacking the information, some of you are not lacking ability. You're just simply simply battling fear in places where you've learned how to function, but not how to confront your fear. And listen, if we do not deal with fear, fear will make decisions for us. Fear will choose our pace. Fear will, it will choose our limits, it will choose our excuses, it will choose our future if we let it. So today, y'all, we're gonna deal with it. We're gonna deal with this word fear, we're gonna deal with false evidence appearing weird. We're gonna we're gonna expose it, we're gonna, we're going to challenge it, and we're going to put some truth where fear has been taking up too much space. But before we go forward, before we go deeper into today's episode, let's recap last week for our new listeners because last week, episode 15, was about positioning yourself to win. We talked about where preparation meets opportunity. And that message was powerful to me because we talked about the fact that many people say they want more, but they don't position themselves for more. Kirby, what does that look like? Let me give an example. Um, I know someone that always tells me they want to do or they wish they could, and they want to do this, and they want to do that, and and I'm looking to see if they're gonna change anything in life to in order to get, you know, the real question is what are you willing to change here? Like you say you want more, and you say you wish you could do this or that, but what are you gonna do about it? You know, that's that's it at the end of the day. And a lot of times people like to throw the fact that money's not there or they don't have money, but yeah, you can make money. You can make money. There's so many opportunities out here. All you have to do is find a problem, find a problem and find a solution for it. So when people tell me, well, I wanted to do this, but I ain't got the money, to me, that's an excuse, and it's yet fear wrapped in excuses, and you start to believe that, but you can you can figure out because as the old people would say, where there's a wheel, there's a way. We also talked about how opportunity may come, but if your life is out of order, if your habits are inconsistent, if your finances are unmanaged, you're if you're thinking is unstable, you can miss what you pray for because you are not ready to handle it when it comes. I don't know how many times I had that happen to me. And I know some of you can relate. You've been there. We talked about positioning, we talked about preparation, we talked about what it means to stop waiting on life to magically change instead of being the create the person that creates the structure so that you can change your life, you know. Start creating that kind of structure that can hold what you say you want. Because everybody, you know, I'm just thinking, everybody be saying they want to be blessed. They say, I don't I want that blessing, I want the door to open, I want increase, I want ownership, I want overflow, I want the next level. But not everybody wants the discipline that comes before it. There's a discipline that comes before and after it, but not everybody wants it. That was the heart of last week's message. Preparation is not punishment, it's protection, it's wisdom, it's stewardship. Preparation is how you make room for what's coming. So, family, last week, I also gave you homework because I don't want us just to be hearers, I want you to be doers. And the homework last week was it really start looking. I needed you to really start looking at your life and asking yourself whether you're truly positioned for what you say you want. I challenged you to examine your habits, your routines, your financial behaviors, your level of preparation, whether your current structure matches your future goals. I challenged you to do that. And I hope that you have, and I would love to hear from you if you have, so you can email me at KirbyTher at gmail.com. I'm gonna repeat it for some of those that weren't on here last week. I challenged the listeners last week, and I'm challenging you today. Examine your habits, examine your routines, examine your financial behavior, what does that look like? Your spending habits, what you're doing every day. I told you guys to do that for a week, for two weeks. Just do it, do it for a whole month. Examine your level of preparation, and that's for anything in life. Examine whether your current structure matches your future goals. Examine, just take our time and examine them. So listen, now we're we're here. We're here. We are here today's episode matters to me so much because once you start talking about positioning yourself to win, there's an immediate question that comes next. And if I know I need to be prepared, then what keeps me from doing what I need I know to do? If I know I need to get my life in order, then why do I still hesitate? Why do I still procrastinate? And the answer for a whole lot of people is what is fear. It's fear. Family, listen. Now, let me go a little deeper because I don't want you to just hear the word fear and think that it's surface level. I want you to really understand what that looks like in your everyday life because fear doesn't always let me fear is not always noticeable. Let me just say that. You just don't know. It creeps up on you. It's very quiet. And sometimes fear is calculated. Like sometimes fear sounds reason responsible. It sounds like, let me think about it, let me wait a little longer. I just want to make sure I ain't ready yet. You know, wait for the perfect timing. And if we're not careful, we will call fear wisdom, you know? We we will call fear timing, we would call fear being cautious when in reality we're just uncomfortable moving forward. And let me let me say this in a way that may just stretch you as a person a little bit. Some of you are not waiting on more information, you're just waiting to feel comfortable, right? A lot of us are there, like we've been there. We we know with that, we we're trying to, we want to feel something familiar. And the truth is, growth, y'all, growing, growing as a business owner, as a mother, as just as a person, growth is not comfortable. Change. Change is not comfortable. People really think like, I didn't know it was gonna take all this. I didn't know, you know, in in life, you just try to you ask yourself when you're growing in growth and um people do things or say things you're wondering why. You just have to remember it's a part of growth, it's a part of you know, growing into this business owner or a better person. Like we're never we're never gonna understand why. Um some people are just the way they are because they are. But that's how that's how fear is, y'all. Fear, fear is just people will say things if they're not comfortable, you know. They don't want to change if they're not comfortable. But as I stated, growth is not comfortable, change is not comfortable, responsibility is not comfortable, and ownership definitely is not comfortable, especially in the beginning. Let me let me say that once you learn and maneuver your way through, and you know, you learn everything, which always be willing to learn every day. But I'm just saying, once you get get there, it gets a little easier. But ownership is not comfortable in the beginning. So, what happens is oftentimes we get the information, we hear the message, you understand what needs to be done, but instead of moving moving, you sit with it, you think about it, you replay it, you question it, then guess what you do? You delay it, and now what started as clarity turns into hesitation. So let me bring this all the way home for you because this is where it connects to your life, your finances, and real estate. Some of you know you need to check your credit, and we talk about it every week. We talk about the people that say, I know what I need to do to buy a house or buy a car or whatever. But you don't do it, and it's not because you don't know how, it's because you don't want to see what's there. And what I be telling y'all at the beginning, you cannot see it. So just rip the bandade off and look at it. But why don't you do it? Because you don't want to see what's there. And some of you know you need to look at your spending habits, you know you do, but you haven't and you probably won't. But I need you to do it today because once you see it, you have to deal with it. You gotta you look at that thing and you gotta figure it out. And if you've been with me these last few months, you know how I feel about that word I spend sheet. I didn't want to see it. I didn't, but guess what? You can't unsee it. And I had to begin to deal with it, and I'm still dealing with it. Sometimes it's a daily thing, it's like it's just like your flesh, it's a daily thing. You have to kill flesh every day, so you have to check them finances every day. Some of you know you need to have a conversation with the lender or with um a business planner, but you haven't because you're afraid of hearing that two-letter word no. You're afraid. Just gone and admit it. Fear of hearing the words no. For every no or every two no's, there's a yes coming somewhere. But until you ask, you will never know. I tell people all the time, I tell my clients, I tell my children, I say you don't know if you don't ask. You have not because you asked not. And I don't care if it seems crazy. Go on and ask anyway. Some of you know you need to take the next step in your life, but you haven't because you're afraid of what happens if it doesn't work. Fear. Now I want to pause right here and I want to say something that may shift your perspective a little bit. You're not the only one who has ever felt that way, but you do not need to stay there because fear will keep you in a cycle, and that cycle looks like you get motivated, then you get nervous, then you delay, then nothing changes, then you get frustrated, then you get motivated again, and then the cycle just repeats and it repeats itself. Now, if you're listening to me and you've been there or you're currently dealing with that, I mean that's fear. That's it's a cycle. Think about it. Just I'm telling y'all, I know somebody listening right now is currently dealing with this or have experienced it. But you have to break that cycle at some point in your life. You gotta break that cycle. And the way you break that cycle is not by waiting for fear to leave, it's moving while fear is present. I'm gonna say that again. I even go as far as to say, I'm gonna we're gonna go to church on that one. The way you break the cycle is not by waiting for fear to leave. You don't break the cycle waiting on fear to leave. It's by moving while fear is present. Now, how many of you on here have um done things scared? What they say, I I tell my kids sometimes, now within reason. Now, let's, you know, let's think business-wise, but I tell people sometimes like you mean you just have to do things and do it scared. It's okay, just do it. Do it scared though, but don't miss an opportunity because you're afraid. And you know, that saying says you don't fail because you tried, you fail when you don't try, right? Fear. Fear is fear is something, fear is the thief. Fear is a thief, just like comparison. Um let me say this again: you don't break fear by waiting on it to disappear, you break fear by deciding it is no longer in control. Because here's the truth fear is not the problem. Obeying fear is the problem. Fear is not the problem. Write it down. Say fear is not the problem, but obeying fear that's the problem. You can feel fear and still move, but don't obey fear. Don't obey fear. When you obey fear, you're opening up more problems, you're making more problems. You're making more problems. You can feel fear and still move, you can feel uncertain and still take action. You can feel uncomfortable, y'all, and you can still grow. But you gotta move. I need you to hear me clearly, hear me. Take your headphones out, pause your music. I need you to hear me because this right here is gonna help somebody shift today. You do not need to feel ready to move forward, you just need to be willing. You need to be willing to see the truth, you need to be willing to take the step, you need to be willing to do something different than what you've been doing. Because what you have been doing has kept you where you are. It's kept you where you are. And I'm not saying that to condemn you, I'm just saying it to bring awareness because when you become aware, you gain power. Awareness gives you power. Now let's take this one step deeper because fear does something else that we don't talk about. Let me tell you something else, fear does, because oftentimes back in the day, people say you just overcomplicate things, you just make things just complicated, and it's and you're not making it complicated on purpose, but because you fear, you add so many extra layers that you overcomplicate simple things. You take those simple things like checking your credit and you turn it into something very overwhelming. You take something simple like tracking your spinning and you turn it into something so stressful. Oh, Kirby, that is me. I have been there. I I do that, I did it. Like, how hard is it to scan a receipt and upload it and put what you um bought? It's not hard, but guess what I would do sometimes? Y'all would stack them receipts up and they'll be on the counter, they'll be in the kitchen, they'll just be everywhere. And I'm truth be told, sometimes they still are, and I have to gather myself. But it makes it stressful because now you gotta gather them up and figure out what you did and why, like, overcomplicated. We take simple things like making a phone call and turn it into something intimidating. And y'all, I can expound on this a little more because in real estate there. Could be transaction and things going on that I I used to hesitate on making that call, and it would be something so simple. And then you would finally call the other agent or the seller, and they were like, and you were scared, like, and you didn't want to talk to me about it. Like, they were just like, basically, you were intimidated for no reason. Like you were scared and fearful for no reason. All you had to do was just call me and say it. And before you know it, you built this big situation in your mind around something that only required one step, one phone call. That's false evidence appearing real. What is the acronym? Fear. F-E-A-R. False evidence appearing real. Fear magnifies, fear exaggerates, fear distorts. But truth simplifies it, y'all. Truth says, let me look at those numbers. Let's make a plan. Let's take the next step. And that's why I say this all the time. Clarity will kill fear. Every time. Clarity kills fear because once you know where you are, now you can decide where you're going. But as long as you stay in assumption, long as you stay in assumption mode, fear stays in control. And family, I want to say this before we move forward. Some of you are just one decision away from a different life. One decision, y'all. One decision. When you can make up your mind just to do something different, or you make up your mind just to take that step, do just make up in your mind that one decision. But that decision requires you to move past what you feel and step into what you know because you already know more than what you think. You already have more than you realize, and you already have access to more than you're using. But fear has been sitting in the driver's seat, and today we're gonna take it out of the driver's seat. We're not gonna eliminate it, but we're no longer letting it lead. You cannot allow fear to lead your life because you cannot own your life while fear is making your decisions. So, family, listen. As we close today's episode, I really, really I want you to sit with this question. I want you to get your notebooks out, your pencils out, your pens. Um, take it all out, take it all out, and I want you to write this down. What has fear been costing me? Not what has life been costing me, not what has people been costing me, but what has fear been costing me? Then I want you to answer what have I been avoiding, what decisions have I delayed because I am afraid. What is one action I need to take this week? Then take one action, not everything. I just want you to take one action, not 10 steps, not 20, one. Because as I said earlier, when you begin to understand, and I think I posted if you follow me on Facebook, when there's when people have a clear understanding of exactly what you're doing, they don't have a problem paying you, right? When they can understand the value, so it's the same, it's the same with fear. When you have clarity, fear leaves, it eliminates fear. Action exposes fear, truth weakens fear. Listen, y'all, this is Life, Finance, and Real Estate with T Gar Kirby the Realtor, and this week we are confronting fear head on because you cannot own a piece of America until you stop letting fear own pieces of you. Bye for now. See you soon.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Thank you for tuning in to Life, Finance, and Real Estate with Kirby the Realtor. You can catch us every Thursday at 12 p.m. on 92.1 WJMG. And also you can listen live at 921 WJMG.com. Thank you once again for listening to Life, Finance, and Real Estate.